1/16/2010

Presentation
Chemical Dependency
and the Family
Dawn Farm Education Series: 2010
Nancy Quay, LMSW
 Definition of family
 Chemical dependency overview
 Effects of chemical dependency on
families
 What can you do?
 Resources

A family is… Family members include:

 Spouses/partners
 Parents
 Children
 Siblings
 Extended family members
 Committed friends

Common features of families Families are Systems

 Unique roles
 Shared roles
 Rules—spoken or unspoken
 Values and beliefs
 Shared history

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And everything reflects the

Until something changes… change

 Role shifts
 Changed responsibilities
 Rules are broken
 Upended values and beliefs
 Loss of history

Ripple Effect FACT

 Change in one aspect creates ripples
which change the other aspects Chemical dependency is the #1
disease in America
1 in 10 adults is chemically dependent
1 in 3 families have at least one
addicted member

FACT FACT
Alcohol and drugs account for 52% of
Chemical dependency costs industry
all traffic fatalities
over $1,000,000,000 per year
75% in lost productivity
25% in medical & treatment costs

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FACT
One in four children live in a home
where alcoholism or alcohol abuse is
present daily
FACT
Children in homes with chemical
dependency are
3 times more likely to be verbally,
physically, or sexually abused
4 times more likely to be neglected
4 times more likely to develop chemical
dependency
problems of their own
Disease of Chemical Dependency
 Biological effects
 Psychological effects
 Primary
 Chronic Illness
 Progressive
 Signs and Symptoms
 Fatal

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FACT
Children in homes with chemical
dependency are at significantly greater
risk for:
Emotional problems
Physical health problems
Learning difficulties
FACT
An addict’s primary relationship is with
his or her substance…not with the
other person or people in their family
group—they have a love relationship
with their substance
Overview
 Addiction is a disease of the brain that
leads to the abuse of mind-altering
chemicals.
 Addiction results in physical, mental,
social, and spiritual deterioration.
 Addiction has both biological and
psychological components.

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Biological/Physical Effects
 Chemical tolerance
 Withdrawal symptoms
 Chemically dependent people crave drugs
and physically do not feel normal without
them
Addiction is Primary
 Caused by use
 Brain changes as a result of use
 Use can be influenced by
genetics…some people seem more
likely to become addicted than others
 One’s environment can also influence
abuse that can lead to addiction.
Addiction is Progressive
 Stages
 Early
 May be asymptomatic
 Middle
 Tends to be when use affects
relationships, life, work, etc.
 Late
 Obvious symptoms

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Psychological Effects
 Drugs control mind, thinking, attitude,
beliefs
 Drugs control their moods
 Belief life is not possible without drugs
 Obsessive thoughts about drug
 Love relationship with drug
Addiction is Chronic
 Symptoms arise and last over time
(more than 3 months)
 Interrupts the developmental cycle
 Time not spent developing talents, skills,
interests
 Time spent in detention, jail, prison
 May begin with an acute event (or
more than one)
 Eventually just becomes ‘routine’
Signs and symptoms
 Frequent intoxication
 Once user starts, can’t stop
 Blackouts
 Behavior changes while using
 Begins to miss work or other
obligations
 Disruptions in work or family life
 Legal troubles
 Other symptoms

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Addiction is Fatal
 If left untreated, addiction to drugs will
eventually kill by disease, overdose, or
accident.
 Drug related car accidents, other serious
accidents
 Violent activities, dangerous behaviors,
gangs, fights, burglaries, homicide
 Overdose
 Suicide, attempted suicide
 Diseases related to drug use
Chemical Dependency Changes:
 How it feels to live in the family
 How people communicate
 How family members relate to each
other and get along
 How family members deal
with problems and conflicts
Family Characteristics
When alcohol abuse or addiction stays
around for a long time, certain
negative characteristics become a
part of the family’s daily life.

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How Addiction Affects Families
 Chemical dependency affects families in
many ways
 From positive to negative
 From minor to extreme
 These problems can have a direct or
indirect impact on any family member in
any area of their life.
Chemical Dependency Changes:
 How family members meet each other’s
needs
 How members assume roles and meet
the demands of these roles
 How family members relate to the
outside world: We often recreate our
family relationships in other
relationships!
Guilt
o Family members blame themselves
for the behavior of the dependent
person.
o They believe they must be doing
something which triggers the
drinking or using.
o They begin to question themselves
and find unreasonable fault in their
own behavior.

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Insecurity
o Things are never steady for any period
of time.
o Shaky finances and lack of job security
may be constantly present.
o Daily duties and responsibilities are not
met.
o Each member of the family has the
feeling the roof could fall in at any
minute.
Embarrassment
o Social events are cancelled.
o Friends are not invited into the home.
o Despite this dance of avoidance, the
behavior of the chemically dependent
person continues to bring
embarrassment to family members.
Disappointment
o The chemically dependent person is
unable to live up to his or her
commitments and promises.
o Broken promises and unfulfilled
expectations are common.
o Members of the family are constantly
having their high hopes turn into great
disappointments.

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Fear
o Deep within, each member of the family
knows that something is seriously
wrong.
o The family knows that tragedy is just
around the corner.
o The family lives with the dependent
person’s sudden changes in mood,
often with anger and violence erupting.
Isolation
o Communication within the family
erodes.
o No one is willing to talk about feelings
regarding “the problem.”
o The family of an addicted person cannot
be a close-knit group.
Suspicion and Loss of Trust
o Members of the family learn early that
the chemically dependent person can
not be trusted.
o Conflicts and accusations are common.
o This condition encourages the
chemically dependent person to
continue using or drinking.

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Ways Family Members

Resentment Reduce Stress

o The unexpressed anger towards the  Ignoring the problem behaviors,

chemically dependent person is held conflict, and pain
within and becomes raging resentment.
 Using defense mechanisms (both the
chemically dependent person and other
o This growing resentment may cause family members)
members of the family to react
inappropriately, not only toward the
dependent person, but to everyone that  Taking on new roles to stabilize the
family
is close to him or her.

Special Roles in Chemically

Dependent Families The Family Hero
 Behaviors:
 The Family Hero
 High achiever, excels, leads, very busy, almost
never says no, responds to adult, controlling
 The Family Scapegoat  Feelings:
 Anxiety, inadequacy, unworthiness, resentfulness,
 The Lost Child self-blame, loneliness
 As an adult:
 Unrealistic sense of control, needs to control,
 The Family Mascot needs approval, feels overly responsible or may
act irresponsibly when overwhelmed
 The Chief Enabler
Offers the family a sense of being okay

The Family Scapegoat The Lost Child

 Behaviors:  Behaviors:
 Tests limits, breaks rules, gets in trouble, acts  Quiet, daydreamer, isolates, fantasizes, avoids
aggressively, uses substances as an outlet/relief, conflict, passive
inappropriate language, behavior, dress, usually has
most realistic picture of the family.  Feelings:
 Feelings:  Loneliness, fear, unworthiness, inadequacy, lack of
 Anger, confusion, resentment, inadequacy, self-blame fulfillment
for family problems, “out of control”
 As an adult:  As an adult:
 Typically has progressive substance abuse problems;  May have problems with depression, difficulty with
problems throughout life; progressive involvement with interpersonal relationships, alcohol or drug
the criminal justice system problems usually due to inability to cope

Offers the family a sense of purpose by Offers the family a sense of relief and
providing someone to blame success, and is not a trouble to the family

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The Family Mascot The Chief Enabler

 Behaviors:
 Class clown, seeks attention through humor
and acting out, uses humor to keep people at a
distance, seldom serious
 Feelings:
 Anxiety – measures self-worth by how others
see him or her; anger; hurt; loneliness
 As an adult:
 Problems in school and at work, seldom forms
intimate relationships, “clowns around” or “life
of the party,” may develop SA problems
Offers the family a sense
of comic relief from the pain
 Behaviors:
 Shelters and shields the using family members, makes
excuses for and may lie to protect the user, minimizes
negative consequences, blames others for the
problems, sometimes sabotages progress towards
recovery
 Feelings:
 Anger, hurt, guilt, resentment, anxiety, fear,
desperate to control everything, helpless, exhausted
Offers the family a sense
of stability and protection

A Family’s Major Tasks for

What Can I Do? Defeating the Disease of Addiction
Continued addiction leads only three  Understand the biological and
places: psychological disease of addiction
 Death
 Jail  Understand the wide-ranging effects on
 Institution all family members

 Understand each family member’s role

Are any of these acceptable in living with an addicted member
options for your family member?

Make Change Happen Additional Strategies

 Remember: systemic disease needs

systemic treatment
 Chemically dependent families have
choices and can break the unhealthy
norms of the family.
 It doesn’t matter why these roles were
developed, they do not have to be
maintained!
 Parents must recognize
that addiction is a family illness that
requires treatment for all family
members
 Confront denial regarding the impact of
their own substance abuse -- accept
responsibility for substance-abuse
behavior

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Tools and Support Tools and Support

 Honesty and openness  Friends, relatives, school counselors,
 Positive support and structure religious leaders
 Clear boundaries
 Healthy behaviors  Support groups: Al-Anon, Alateen, Co-
 Meet needs Dependents Anonymous, Adult
 Stay active Children of Alcoholics (ACOA)
 Look for signs of progress, not perfection
 Get professional help
 Books and Internet information

 Work the 12-step Program

Recovery is Possible! Resources

www.dawnfarm.org
www.teensusingdrugs.org

When the world says

“Rachel Getting Married” (2008), one of the best recent movies on
“Give up,” the effect on a family of one member’s addiction

Hope whispers
“Facts” were obtained from the following sources:
“Try it one more time.” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. SAMHSA's Center for
Substance Abuse Treatment. You Can Help: A Guide for Caring Adults
Working with Young People Experiencing chemical dependency in the
-Author Unknown Family (PHD878, (SMA) 01-3544)Washington, DC: U.S. Government
Printing Office.

University of Pennsylvania Health System: http://www.uphs.upenn.edu/

Thank You!

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