Mrs. Morel’s relationship with Paul.

Sons and Lovers is the most popular novel by D H Lawrence and it is

often taken to be largely auto-biographical. Its theme concerns the effect of
mother-love upon the development of a son. During this novel, there are three
female characters that have close relationships with Paul Morel, the male
protagonist: Paul’s mother-- Mrs. Morel, Paul’s first love-- Miriam, and Paul’s sexual
partner Clara.

D.H. Lawrence uses the Oedipus complex as its base for exploring
Paul's relationship with his mother. Paul is hopelessly devoted to his mother, and
that love often borders on romantic desire. He hates his father and dreams of
living exclusively with his mother. Paul has grave problems finding a satisfying
relationship with any woman other than his mother. The novel traces his
unsuccessful attempts to reconcile the spiritual love of Miriam, or the sexual
passion of Clara because of his filial devotion.

Mrs. Morel is an educated woman. And in this novel, she is a fascinating

compound of faults and virtues. Her virtues are hardworking, thrifty, and, most
importantly, possessing exceptional intelligence and strength of will. Gertrude
Morel devotes herself passionately to her children, especially her sons. She uses
her strong possession. She succeeds in making her boys succeed, but the negative
effects of strong possession also affect her sons. She fails to establish them, as a
mother should make her children self-sufficient and independent individuals, and
enable them ability of living their own lives and loving their own loves without
constant reference to her judgments and feelings.

From childhood on Paul is especially sensitive, artistic and imaginative,

and he becomes extraordinarily dependent on his mother, a highly intelligent
woman with an unusually strong and vivid personality. Paul is always sick, never
wants to separate from his mother and only wishes to be devoted himself to his
mother. As he grows up, he starts to work, though he is reluctant to leave his
beloved home. When the girl named Miriam appears in his life, Paul wants to love
her and to be loved by her. But he couldn’t. Whenever Paul is out and late with his
girl, he knows his mother is furious and getting angry with him. He knows he should
love his girl, but he couldn’t refuse his mother.

Paul's mother views Miriam as a threat to her. So she continually puts

her down by remarking that Miriam doesn't just want his love - she'll want his soul.
As Paul’s feeling is entirely under the control of his mother, he hated Miriam
bitterly. But Mrs. Morel rightly perceives that Clara Dawes is not a threat to her—
she is fascinating, attractive, enigmatic, and sensual, but she lacks the ability to be
more to Paul than a diversion from Miriam, Mom, and himself. Knowing that nothing
of importance will come of this affair, Mrs. Morel even encourages it. It cannot
divert Paul from her, and it fails as a result.

In the end, the only intimacy Paul is capable of is with his mother. She
has come between him and his own consciousness—and he has allowed her. As Mrs.
Morel loses her husband’s love, she slowly transfers her emotions to her children.
In her eyes, her sons are her lovers who take position of her husband. Her personal
abnormal emotion is the direct factor for Paul’s Oedipus complex.

Along with the Oedipus complex, there are evidences of the positive
aspects of Paul's relationship with his mother. She encourages his art, education,
and social advancement. At the end of the novel, Paul takes a major step in
releasing himself from his Oedipus complex. He intentionally overdoses his dying
mother with morphia, an act that reduces her suffering but also subverts his
oedipal fate.

Finally, when Lawrence says Mrs. Morel selects her sons ‘as lovers’, he
does not mean literally. He is not writing about incest, but about a powerful
emotional connection. And although Lawrence talks about ‘the drift towards death’
the novel ends with Paul’s affirmation of ‘life’ – which was Lawrence’s creed.