Sie sind auf Seite 1von 11

 

 
 
 
 

FEEDBACK TUTORIAL LETTER 
 
 
ASSIGNMENT 2 
 
 
SECOND SEMESTER 2017 
 
 
 
PROFESSIONAL WRITING 
[PWR611S] 
 
 

 
 

1
DEPARTMENT OF LANGUAGES AND EDUCATION

PROFESSIONAL WRITING - PWR611S


TUTORIAL FEEDBACK LETTER
September 2017

ASSIGNMENT 2

Dear Student

We have just finished marking your assignments and some of them were so pleasing
whilst as usual there were some which left a lot to be desired. Allow us to comment
briefly about the first assignment. It is not so pleasing for us to inform you that generally
the level of work we received from you students in this first assignment is not what we
expect. Maybe on a general assessment the level of many of the assignments we
marked is below what we have marked from the other streams of students for the past
years we have been teaching this course. Therefore the score for many students was
in the 40%-50% range, which is not so great. Worse still being that usually if you qualify
to write the examinations in the 40s range usually you may find it very difficult to make
it in the examination. Therefore be challenged to really buckle up and present a
remarkable piece of work with regards to the examination. You can still revise your
work, read the study guide to make amends and score higher.

Though of course there are some of you who presented really pleasing work and
scored very higher marks – that is very pleasing and we urge you to continue working
hard. We are deeply touched in a positive manner when we see you en route to
becoming professional writers. Keep it up!

What was pretty evident in the assignments which scored low marks was a general
lack of seriousness, failure to present professional work and an obvious failure to make
use of the Study Guide. Please note that your Study Guide was revised last year to
make it more competitive and helpful for you. There are a lot of examples in the Study

1
Guide for you to learn from. We will not set any question in the assignment or the final
examination which is not clearly explained and exemplified in the Study Guide. And
we repeat that please before attempting any question please consult the Study Guide
– you cannot assume – therefore be dead sure through making proper use of the Study
Guide. So please be more determined and make use of the Study Guide. The
institution through COLL supplied each one of you with an individual copy so that you
can use it to the maximum. So you just have to make use of it, please.

We are now going to give you the breakdown of the aspects we expected from you
and please note that even in the examination if that specific type of question will be
set, we will use the very same aspects as indicated here.

Firstly is the report. As we have indicated in the previous Feedback letter, the
memorandum headings should be clear to you by now. Then we come to the Terms
of Reference and we expected you to do address the following:

•The report begins with the terms of reference

•The terms of reference outline the background to the investigation, using information
from the instructions given

•Must mention dates associated, who requested it and what was requested

•It states the purpose of the report and the scope

•It indicates whether recommendations are required

After addressing these five aspects we now go to the Procedures/methods section


and we expect the following:

•The methods used are clearly outlined and enumerated if more than one is used

•The reasons for such methods are briefly mentioned

•Duration of each method used, number of people involved mentioned

In the Findings section please take note that you attempt to do the following:

•Each finding has been clearly outlined and numbered, headings provided

•The findings are clearly and logically drawn from the info given in the summary of the
survey, notes from the interview, reading etc.

•Each finding relates directly to the terms of reference and purpose of the report

2
Terms of Reference  The report begins with the terms
of reference

 The terms of reference outline


the background to the
investigation, using information
from the instructions given

 Must mention dates associated,


who requested it and what was
requested

 It states the purpose of the report


and the scope

 It indicates whether
recommendations are required

Procedure/Method  The methods used are clearly


outlined and enumerated if more
than one is used

 The reasons for such methods are


briefly mentioned

 Duration of each method used,


number of people involved
mentioned

Findings  Each finding has been clearly


outlined and numbered, headings
provided

 The findings are clearly and


logically drawn from the info
given in the summary of the
survey, notes from the interview,
reading etc.

 Each finding relates directly to the


terms of reference and purpose of
the report

3
Conclusions  The main points of the findings
are summarized and implications
given/conclusions drawn

Recommendations  There are an appropriate number


of recommendations as required
by the findings

 Recommendations are specific,


meant for use by
commissioner/company involved
in the investigation

Language & Style  The language is formal, accurate,


professional and business-like

 Full sentences are used

 Readability considered

 Impersonal, objective language


and style

Format and presentation  Cover page/memo heading with


identification details at top of
report

 Sections in correct order

 Decimal numbering is accurate

 Signature, completion date at the


bottom

 Professional presentation

Next will be the Conclusion section and we expect you to address the following: The
main points of the findings are summarized and implications given/conclusions drawn.
Then the next section is one where most of us still make mistakes – the

4
recommendations. Please take note that your recommendations are focused, directed
and should make sense to the commissioner of the report. In other words:

•There are an appropriate number of recommendations as required by the findings

•Recommendations are specific, meant for use by the COMMISSIONER/COMPANY


involved in the investigation.

In addition to these components of the report, we also add some marks in relation to
the language and style. Here we look at the following: The language is formal,
accurate, professional and business-like / Full sentences are used / Readability
considered / Impersonal, objective language and style. Finally we look at the Format
and Presentation and we consider awarding marks if you address the following: Cover
page/memo heading with identification details at top of report / Sections in correct
order / Decimal numbering is accurate / Signature, completion date at the bottom /
Professional presentation.

I advise that you use the Report check list above for revision. It will also help when
you prepare for the exam.

The Proposal:

When it comes to the Proposal, please make sure you understand and apply the
following components because they help you to construct a proper proposal. The
introduction should:

1. Introduction

* Indicate the purpose. Specify why the proposal is being made.


* Develop a persuasive hook. Suggest excellent results, low costs, or
exclusive resources. Identify a serious problem or name a key issue

or benefit.

Most proposals begin by briefly explaining the reasons for the proposal and by highlighting
the writer’s expertise. To make your introduction more persuasive, you need to provide a
“hook” to capture the reader’s interest. One proposal expert suggests these hook
possibilities:

• Hint at extraordinary results with details to be revealed soon.

• Promise low costs and speedy results.

5
• Mention a remarkable resource (well-known expert, new computer programme, well-
trained staff) available exclusively to you.

• Identify a serious problem and promise a solution, to be explained later.

• Specify a key issue or benefit that you feel is the heart of the proposal.

2. Background, problem

The background section identifies the problem and discusses the goals or purposes of the
project.

In an unsolicited proposal your goal is to convince the reader that a problem exists. Thus,
you must present the problem in detail, discussing such factors as monetary losses, failure
to comply with government regulations, or loss of customers.

In a solicited proposal your aim is to persuade the reader that you understand the problem
completely.

* Provide the necessary background. Discuss the significance of the

proposal and its goals or purposes.

* Introduce the problem. For unsolicited proposals convince the reader

that a problem exists. For solicited proposals show that you fully

understand the problem and its ramifications.

The next section is the Proposal plan and this section should also do the following:

3. Proposal, plan

In the proposal section itself, you should discuss your plan for solving the problem. In some
proposals this is tricky, because you want to disclose enough of your plan to secure the
contract without giving away so much information that your services aren’t needed. Without
specifics, though, your proposal has little chance, so you must decide how much to reveal.

Tell what you propose to do and how it will benefit the reader. Remember too, that a
proposal is a sales presentation. Sell your methods, product, and “deliverables” –- items
that will be left with the client.

* Explain the proposal. Present your plan for solving the problem or
meeting the need.

6
* Discuss plan management and evaluation. If appropriate, tell how the
plan will be implemented and evaluated.
* Outline a timetable. Furnish a schedule showing what will be done
and when.

4. Staffing

The staffing section of a proposal describes the credentials and expertise of the project
leaders. It may also identify the size and qualifications of the support staff, along with
other resources such as computer facilities and special programmes for analysing
statistics. The staffing section is a good place to endorse and promote your staff.

Furthermore, the Staffing section should address the following:

* Promote the qualifications of your staff. Explain the specific


credentials and expertise of the key personnel for the project.
* Mention special resources or equipment. Show how your support staff
and resources are superior to those of the competition.

5. Budget

A central item in most proposals is the budget, A LIST OF PROPOSED PROJECT


COSTS. You need to prepare this section carefully, because it represents a contract;
you can’t raise the price later – even if your costs increase. You can – and should –
protect yourself with a deadline for acceptance.

In the budget section some writers itemise hours and costs; others present a total sum
only.

For example, for the proposal in this assignment, a detailed line-by-line budget is
needed to justify the budget for the workshop. Unlike the study guide example, this
budget should not include a proposal to conduct a survey, but rather should include
all items you would need for the workshop. Your analysis of the project will help you
decide what kind of budget to prepare.

The budget section has to be well thought out because it represents a contract which
may not be changed willy nilly at a later stage. Thus please make sure that you
address the following under the budget section:

* Show project costs. For most projects itemise costs. Remember,

7
however, that proposals are contracts and you cannot change the
price later.
* Include a deadline. Here or in the conclusion present a date beyond
which the bid figures are no longer valid.

Then finally we also have the Authorisation section and the following aspects are
noteworthy:

6. Authorisation request

Informal proposals often close with a request for approval or authorisation. In addition,
the closing should remind the reader of the key benefits and motivate action. It might
also include a deadline beyond which the offer is invalid.

* Informal proposal closes with a request for approval or authorisation.

* The closing should remind the reader of the key benefits and motivate

action.

* It might also include a deadline beyond which the offer is invalid.

Finally, let me conclude by summarising the above. Use the following check list even
when you prepare for the exam.

Checklist for proposal sections


1. Introduction

Indicate the purpose. Specify why the proposal is being made.

Develop a persuasive hook. Suggest excellent results, low costs, or exclusive resources.
Identify a serious problem or name a key issue or benefit.

Briefly mention author’s expertise.

2. Background, problem, goals

Provide the necessary background. Discuss the significance of the proposal and its goals or
purposes.

Introduce the problem. For unsolicited proposals convince the reader that a problem exists.
For solicited proposals show that you fully understand the problem and its ramifications.

8
Proposal, plan

Explain the proposal. Present your plan for solving the problem or meeting the need.

Discuss plan management and evaluation. If appropriate, tell how the plan will be
implemented, evaluated and monitored.

Outline a timetable. Furnish a schedule showing what will be done, by whom and when.

Staffing

Promote the qualifications or expertise of your staff. Explain the specific credentials and
expertise of the key personnel for the project.

Mention special resources or equipment. Show how your support staff and resources are
superior to those of the competition.

Budget

Show project costs. For most projects itemise costs. Remember, however, that proposals
are contracts and you cannot change the price later.

Include a deadline. Here or in the conclusion present a date beyond which the bid figures
are no longer valid.

Authorisation request

Close with a request for approval or authorisation.

Remind reader of key benefits and motivate action.

Give deadline beyond which offer becomes invalid.

After all these components have been included in the proposal, we also award some
more marks on Format and presentation, where a fully blocked business letter format
is used (up to 6 marks could be deducted for format errors), as well as the Language,
style and register where we consider that the appropriate persuasive language, style
and register required has been used.
9
These are critical components you need to master. When revising for the examinations
please revisit them and crosscheck with the examples from the study guide. These
include:

 Format and presentation: Fully blocked business letter format is used (up to 6
marks could be deducted for format errors).

 Language, style and register: Appropriate persuasive language, style and


register required.

Best wishes

Mrs. J. S. Pasi

Ms. A. Smith

10