MANAGING DIVORCE AT

WORKPLACE
Break-ups of family structure affect workplace and society, says expert

• New Straits Times

• 2 Dec 2018

• BEATRICE NITA JAY beatrice@nst.com.my

WITH divorce cases in Malaysia increasing in the past few years, it is estimated that
in 20 years’ time, one in every two persons will come from a broken home.
This would undoubtedly affect the family and community structure.
But another aspect which people need to look into is the effects of a divorce at the
workplace.

O Psych’s chief executive officer and organisational psychologist Hetal Doshi says
that since a majority of the population get married in their early 20s, with at least one
of the partners already working, the impact of a divorce will definitely be carried into
the workplace.
“For a psychologist, we have a scale for stress, and divorce is the second most
stressful event that may happen to any person. The first being the death or loss of a
loved one.
“The rate of divorces has tripled whereas the rate of birth has declined.
“In the workplace, people are treated compassionately when a death or a birth occurs.
But they are not being compassionately treated for one of the most disturbing
phenomena that actually breaks the entire society apart,” she tells the New Sunday
Times.

Hetal says the breaking of the family

structure directly affects society, and
organisations should view it critically and
make a stand on it, in terms of policy.
“This phenomenon is only going to increase
because one of the major causes of non-
tolerance is that women are becoming more
financially independent and, therefore, they
are less likely to tolerate some of the
misgivings in a marriage.
“This is unlike in the past, when woman had
no choice but to tolerate such misgivings.
“Women are now more equipped when it
comes to being able to walk out of a
marriage. So this is probably why divorce is
one of the most pervasive things now,” she
adds.
Hetal says organisations should consider the issue of divorce more seriously,
especally in terms of sustainability, since in 20 or 30 years’ time, the children of those
who went through a divorce would be in the workforce.
“If employees are not well taken care off during the divorce period, it would reflect in
how a child is brought up and how a child understands the world. This would affect
the workforce in the future.”

Hetal says organisations should also treat recent divorcees well, as a person who is
going through a divorce might have lost their concept of trust.
“Once they lose trust in a marriage which they thought would last a lifetime, they can
potentially lose trust in any sort of relationship.
“In an organisation, the speed or quality of work depends on how strong the
employee’s trust is in the organisation.
“When the trust is broken in their intimate lives, it will be carried forward in other
relationships.
“So the ability to understand what goes through the mind of a divorced person is
extremely critical for an organisation.”

Hetal says restoring broken trust needs a lot of work, adding that one good method
was to engage in deep conversations as people who lost their sense of trust need to
share their true feelings and relate the turmoil they are going through.
She urges organisations to allow their employees who are going through a divorce to
take adequate time to recover from it as it is one of the most stressful periods of a
person’s life.

“If not, they may just become numb and lose their sense of reality. This is very
dangerous as they may not even know what is going on around them.
“Not everyone may be aware of what another person is going through, as people can
hide their true feelings very well. But if you’re sharp enough, you will be able to
detect the symptoms and perhaps help them.”

On ways an organisation can help divorcees, Hetal says an employer could try
listening more to staff.
She says the key is not to meddle in their personal affairs, but to lend a helping hand
if the staff are visibly distraught or unable to cope with the pressures of divorce.
“For a manager or superior, if their staff is going through a tough divorce, the basic
thing to ask is how long he or she has been facing the stressful situation.
“From there, highlight the moments of successes that the person may have achieved
in that period.
“That way, the workplace can become a sanctuary for them as they might not feel
validated about themselves at home.”

Hetal, however, warns managers against creating an environment where the divorced
employee makes it a habit to constantly speak to the managers about his or her
problems.
“Do not indulge in it and keep boundaries, but highlight the strength of that person as
this will elevate them.”
She says organisations could provide a confidential, multipronged support
mechanism, like an employee assistance programme or counselling sessions.
“Employers should make decisions not merely based on office policy, but instead
make good leadership decisions. They should make good decisions as a person. Allow
them to take time off and trust them that they will be back.”
She adds that it does not matter what the reasons behind a divorce are as any “reason
for divorce” given by the man or woman should not be taken lightly as each case is
unique.