Peer Review: Community Profile (Article/TED Talk)

Instructions:

1. Read/watch through the profile quickly to form your general reaction. Complete the “General
Reaction” box in the worksheet below.
2. Read/watch through the profile again, this time more carefully. Make note of any specific
paragraphs/sentences/sections that you think could be improved.
3. Complete the rest of the worksheet. Be sure to be detailed and specific. Refer to specific
paragraphs/sentences/timestamps from the profile whenever possible.
a. Point out strengths as well as areas for improvement.
b. Make sure you focus your comments on larger issues, like structure, clarity, context and
background, and details and dialogue.
c. Be ​specific​​ and offer ​suggestions​​ for improvement.
i. Try asking questions.
ii. If you point out a problem, offer a suggestion.
4. Submit your worksheets to D2L ​and​​ share with the author on Google Drive. You should
complete one worksheet for each of your group members (a total of two).
a. If you are doing the extra credit, you will have to fill out ​three more​​ of these for ​three
other students​​. Consider using Slack and/or the classlist to find people who want extra
feedback. You will have to turn it into the “Additional Labor Extra Credit Due 11.15 Must
Also Share With Authors.” These will be due at ​midnight​​ so the authors have Friday to
incorporate your feedback.

Author’s name​​: Nayeli de la Riva

Reviewer’s name​​: Karime Torres
General Compliments​​:
I know your project was not completely done when I reviewed it, but it is really good. I like how you
used the research, interviews and observations to develop and explain the issue in your community.
GENERAL REACTION​​: Look over the profile ● I was a little confused at the introduction
quickly to understand its ideas. Write a few because I didn’t know in the first
sentences addressing your first impressions. sentences about what you were writing
Consider if you enjoyed it—do you find the profile about.
interesting? Why? Is the profile well organized? ● The purpose of your profile is very clear
Has the profile fulfilled the purpose and provided (the bankruptcy issue)
an insightful and informative look at the ● The information provided from the
community? Does the profile identify areas research support your purpose.
controversy and issues affecting the community?
● The profile is well organized and provide
interesting and important information
about your community.

INTRODUCTION & CONCLUSION​​: Did the intro ● In the introduction you are very clear
make you want to keep going? Has the author about what is/was the issue in your
avoided sounding like a report or a lecture? Does community.
the conclusion wrap up the profile and reinforce
the significance?
*No conclusion by the time I did the review.
ORGANIZATION & DEVELOPMENT​​: Does the
profile clearly describe the community using a
logical sequence or organizational pattern? Does
the profile include enough details and examples
to fully develop an insight into the community?
Does the profile use description to “show” the
community and not just “tell”?
DESIGN​​: What visual elements (e.g. photographs,
charts, tables, pictures, etc.) has the writer used
most effectively? Are all images used
purposefully? Point out specific areas in the
profile that could benefit from more visuals.
RESEARCH​​: How has the author utilized their
interviews and observations? Is their research
integrated into the profile effectively and
purposefully? Has the author used a mix of
summaries, paraphrases, and quotations? What
insights into the community do the observations
and interviews provide?
SUGGESTIONS​​: Offer the writer at least two
specific suggestions to help him or her improve
the profile. Think of questions you had when
reading. Take the time to provide thoughtful
thorough feedback.
● I like that you began with a direct
question to the audience.
● I think it will be helpful to describe your
community first (BCBG) and then write
about the issue and use this as a thesis.
● As I wrote, you could describe your
community in the introduction or at the
second paragraph to provide the
audience a better understanding of
BCBG.
● The organization is clear and follow a
chronological order.
● You could add some images.
● For example, when you wrote about the
high prices or the clearance rack, you can
include an image of customers on that
area. (I think you can get these images
from google)
● I really like how you incorporate your
research to explain the bankruptcy issue
in your community.
● The relation between your research,
observation and interviews is really good!
● You were very clear and descriptive while
writing about your observation. (“show
not just tell”)
● Instead of writing the question and
answer from the interview, you could use
some quotes to support your arguments.
● You could use two or three columns to
make it look more like a magazine article.
● I’m not confident about giving you
specific grammar’s advices but I think you
can review it later.
● Also, check the use of commas in your
writing.
● Find some synonyms for those words that
you repeated in the text (decided) you
can use ​determine, choose, conclude,
elect, select…