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COMM 1715-Proofreading and Editing Assignment #4 –Stars—5%

Instructions: The paragraph below contains 15 errors of various types: modifiers,


parallelism, punctuation, capitalization, and quotation marks. Please note that the
paragraph may also contain some errors pertaining to earlier material we have covered
in class. On the page provided, identify the line in which the error is located, print the
existing error, and then print the correction.

Stars*
As they are born in violence and die in epic explosions, stars fill the universe with the 1
building blocks of life: stardust. Quite literally, stars are what make our universe work. All stars 2
are powerful, unique, and are at a great distance. The night sky is packed with stars. However, 3
on a clear night in the country, you would be fortunate to see three thousand stars, but that’s 4
just the tip of the iceberg. In our Milky Way galaxy, there are over 100 billion stars, and there 5
are over 100 billion galaxies in the universe. Colon? “There are more stars in the universe than 6
there are grains of sand on the Earth.” Every star is powerful and creates the Basic Matter for 7
everything in the universe, including humans. Most stars are so far from Earth that we know 8
little about them. However, there is one star that is really close our sun. Seen from Earth, our 9
sun looks like a blinding ball of light, but it is actually a ball of super-heated gas that has been 10
illuminating our solar system for 4.6 billion years. Our sun is 93 million miles away, so when 11
compared to the Earth, the sun is immense. In fact, you could fit a million earths’ inside the 12
sun. At nearly a million miles in diameter our sun seems enormous, however; our sun is tiny 13
compared to the bigger stars that inhabit our universe. For example Eta Carinae is over 5 14
million times larger than our sun. Betelgeuse is next, which is 300 times larger than Eta 15
Carinae. If Betelgeuse were our sun, it would reach the planet Jupiter. Last, is the largest star 16
ever discovered VY Canis Majoris. It’s a billion times larger than our sun. Stars burn in 17
different colours: red, yellow, and the colour blue. Each star is unique, but they all start the 18
same way: as clouds of dust and gas called nebulas. Each nebulae is a star “nursery” where 19
millions of new stars are being born. Until 2004, when NASA launched the Spitzer space 20
telescope, star formation was a mystery. The Spitzer is an infrared telescope; therefore, it only 21
sees heat. Heat passes through the thick dust of the nebulas, allowing the Spitzer to see new 22
stars coming to life. With the spitzer, we were able to see finally the very earliest moments of 23
star formation. All that is needed for star formation is hydrogen, gravity, and a great deal of 24
time. Gravity pools the dust and gas into a giant swirling “vortex”. Over time, the swirling 25
cloud of dust and gas becomes thicker and hotter. The vortex becomes a giant swirling disc that 26
is bigger than our solar system. At the centre, gravity crushes the gas into a super dense and 27
extremely hot ball. The pressure builds until huge jets of gas bursts out from the centre. With 28
the Spitzer, for the first time, we were able to witness the violent process of star formation. 29
Over approximately a half a million years, a young forming star becomes more compressed and 30
hotter, temperatures at the core of a forming star can reach 15 million degrees. At such high 31
temperatures only can atoms of gas begin to fuse together and start to release massive 32
amounts of Energy. A newly formed star could shine for trillions of years. It is humbling to 33
know that every atom in our bodies was produced inside the fiery core of a star. In this way, 34
we are, quite literally, made of stars. 35

Answers to Proofreading and Editing- Assignment— Stars

Line # Error Correction


1. 3 All stars are powerful, unique, and All stars are powerful, unique, and
are at a great distance. distant.
2. 4 However, on a clear night in the However, on a clear night in the
country, you would be fortunate to country you would be fortunate to see
see three thousand stars but that’s three thousand stars.
just the tip of the iceberg.
3. 5 In our Milky Way galaxy, there are In our Milky Way galaxy there are
over 100 billion stars, and there over 100 billion stars, and there
4. 6-7 are over 100 billion galaxies in the are over 100 billion galaxies in the
universe. “There are more stars in universe. There are more stars in the
the universe than there are grains of universe than there are grains of sand
sand on the Earth.” on the Earth.
5. 7 Every star is powerful and creates Every star is powerful and creates the
the Basic Matter for basic matter for
6. 8 for everything in the universe, for everything in the
including humans. universe:including humans.
7. 9 However, there is one star that is However, there is one star that is
really close our sun really close:our sun
8. 12 In fact, you could fit a million earths’ In fact, you could fit a million Earths’
inside the sun inside the Sun
9. 13 our sun seems enormous, however; our sun seems enormous;however,
our sun is tiny our sun is tiny
10. 14 For example Eta Carinae is over 5 For example, Eta Carinae is over 5
11. 18 Stars burn in different colours: red, Stars burn in different colours: red,
yellow, and the colour blue. yellow, and blue.
12. 19 Each nebulae is a star “nursery” Each nebulae is a star “nursery”,
where where
13. 24 hydrogen, gravity, and a great deal hydrogen, gravity, and time
of time
14. 16-17 Last, is the largest star ever Last, is the largest star ever
discovered VY Canis Majoris. It’s a discovered VY Canis Majoris: it’s a
billion times larger than our sun. billion times larger than our sun.
15. 30-31 Over approximately a half a million Over approximately a half a million
years, a young forming star becomes years, a young forming star becomes
more compressed and hotter, more compressed and hotter:
temperatures at the core of a temperatures at the core of a forming
forming star can reach 15 million star can reach 15 million degrees
degrees

*Stars” in How the Universe Works (2010) on the Discovery Channel, Discovery Science. Episode: 1 Original Air Date: 10-05-10;
Record Date: 10-01-16