The art of descriptive writing

Name: Ramón Patricio Mancilla Cardenas

Course: descriptive writing
Teacher: Vanessa Astrop
Date: 08/ 07/ 2016
Contents:
Section 1: using specific language:
Brief summary “how to use the specific language”
Lesson 1
Lesson 2
Lesson 3
Lesson 4
Section 2: the writing process
A: pre-writing
Choosing a topic
Brainstorming lists/mind map free writing
Editing and ordering brainstorm
Creating an outline
B: Writing:
Topic sentences and controlling ideas
Supporting sentences
Concluding sentences
C: post writing
Unity and coherence
Punctuation
Grammar
Subject/ verb agreement
Complete sentences – no fragments or run-ons

Section 3: types of paragraphs:

Brief summary of the terms learned in class
Descriptive paragraph
Process paragraph
Opinion paragraph
Section 1: using specific language:

Brief summaries of the lessons learned in class and how to use it:

Vivid nouns:

Vivid verbs:

Vivid adjectives:

Vivid adverbs:
Lesson 1: using vivid nouns.
Final draft:
On an autumn evening, when the leaves are falling gently and the
last sunny day is ending, Paul his girlfriend Nicole take a rest after
enjoying a delicious picnic with the seasons apples and home-made
sandwiches; it is the most beautiful day. The clear lake, the green
grass shinnin in the sunlight, the oak trees whispering good things
in the wind, ducks are swimming and squawking thorugh the Maine
Park. Many families are enjoying the day too, Tina Johnson and her
son Howard, flying a pretty red kite; Mrs. Cash is putting a new hat
on her restless daughter´s head Helen. Meanwhile her brother
Richard is playing with his new remote-control boat. To Helen the
sun is very annoying, but not for Richard. Also their cousin, Clint
from Dallas, Texas is visit the family for a few days and is playing
Frisbee with Rover the family´s pet, a huge Golden Retriever. Is a
perfect day, but in the shade of one of the trees, the ice-cream
seller, Mr. O’Hara, is selling the last Choco banana rocket to a
mysterious man, so polite, and a boy, with a scared face. Has been
kidnapped? Is the man an organ trafficker giving to the boy the last
taste of life? Is he using him for a mad sect? Nobody knows, but
terrible things are going to happen on this last beautiful autumn
evening.
Lesson 2: using vivid verbs.
Final draft:
On a cold Saturday evening near El Paso ,Texas the circus left town,
a huge caravan crossing the desert to perform to a small crowd of
people were are spectators, curious and full of happiness. Except
one, Mr. Kanda, an old man who was a descendant of an ancient
tribe of Apache Indians. He warned the circus and their staff that
the place where they had put their colourful giant tent was a sacred
graveyard and any person who stayed there was cursed and bad
things would happen to them. But the people didn’t pay him any
attention. The first show started; everything was going okay on the
same day after the warning and many people, excited to see the
circus filled the tent. The ringmaster presented the acts of his
famous shows and artists. First the clowns started. One of them
hurled balls of all the colours of the rainbow at the other, giggling.
The audience roared with laughter for the routine. The next act was
the acrobat girl who dance over the back of her beautiful white
horse called Napoleon. The trapeze artist was flying impressively
and the tight-rope walker was balancing in a dangerous way. But
the most important act was the tiger tamer and his beasts, John
and Jesse, big Bengali tigers. They are furious, and hungry, wild
monsters in a cage and all for the entertainment. The tiger tamer
cracked his large whip. But one of the clowns, in a strange mood,
maybe possessed by a supernatural force, open the tiger’s cage
before the act, liberating them. John the tiger (bigger than Jesse the
tiger) came out first devoured the tamer in a horrifying frenzy. The
second beast jumped like a lightning strike, into the audience and
all the people there (almost all the people) ran screaming and
crying for their lives. The beautiful white horse, while trying to
escape crashed into one of the pillars of the tent, and fall over the
terrible tragedy. And… far away looking on, was Mr. Kanda, calmly
waiting for the feast of his gods.
Lesson 3: Using vivid adjectives
Final draft:
There is a wonderful huge campfire in the dark pinewood with a
beautiful clear lagoon, a cheerful group of three young campers, in
a very huge blue jeep with all of their things including a bright
green cooler filled with a lot of cool drinks and beers. One of the
campers, Monica is putting up the biggest cosy tent ever seen,
hammering on the stakes. Meanwhile the shiny red flames are
growing up, one of the three campers, Andrew, watches with a
large lantern a strange big fruit, takes it and suddenly taste his
sweet flavour. But unfortunately the fruit had a hallucinogen effect
in people. Andrew was lost and find and old brown Indian canoe
and put it in the jeep. And walked alone, in a kind of stoner effect
among the long dark green grass. For his disgrace a pack of hungry
wolves catches him and devoured their fresh prey. The last of the
campers, Amanda, is collecting kindling for the campfire before the
fire turn off, near the lagoon…
Lesson 4: using vivid adverbs
Final draft:
A really huge caravan is crossing the wide blue river, which is
flowing extremely fast. Become they have been tiredly persecuted
by the people of the old town of St. Katherine. They are very
worried, the fugitive caravan escaped across the river which was
flowing really strongly. Meanwhile, on the other side of the river
and old ox wagon is pulled by two strong, brown horses and gets
stuck very deeply in the mud. The wheels of the wagon are buried
between the sand, the dark mud and rounded rocks on the shore.
The cowboy is driving determinately and attentively, his wife is
screaming loudly to her big black dog. Leading suddenly to the tiny
white sheep, who were running slowly, the leader of the caravan is
supervising the crossing rigorously and seriously. The rest of the
people and the buffaloes cattle are crossing calmly. The second
cowboy leader on the other side is desperately and carefully
looking for danger because the thieves there may trying to steal all
the shiny gold of St. Katherine.
Section 2: the writing process:

Choosing a topic:

Brainstorming lists/mind map free writing:

Editing and ordering brainstorm:

Creating an outline:

B: Writing:

Topic sentences and controlling ideas:

Supporting sentences:

Concluding sentences:
C: post writing:

Unity and coherence:

Punctuation:

Grammar:

Subject/ verb agreement:

Complete sentences – no fragments or run-ons:

Section 3: types of paragraphs:

Brief summary of the terms learned in class and how to difference

it:

Descriptive paragraph:

Process paragraph:

Opinion paragraph:
Section 3: types of paragraphs:

Final draft of the descriptive paragraph:

All about myself:
My name is Ramon Mancilla, I was born in Puerto Montt. In 1994.
Now, I have twenty two years old and study English in the Santo
Tomas University. I’m studying to become an English teacher
someday, and try to help this world in my way and using my
knowledge to connect the people. And live with my parents (yet)
near the airport located in Puerto Montt too.
Physically I consider myself like normal, because many of the young
boys here, have almost the same height and weight, but everyone
is unique (of course). I have 1.66 meters and my weight is 65/ 70
kg. Approximately, I have light brown eyes, long black haired,
tanned skin (I think), a little bit turned up nose, and an ever
growing beard.
I like my lifestyle, it have many things what I like, and for example, I
love music. Rock, blues, jazz, some classical, but, especially metal,
how produce those music and the lyrics what it have, I go to
concerts and have a little collection of tapes and discs of my
favourite ones. I like create my own music too, I play the guitar, and
the drums. Also I have another hobbies like films (horror, thrillers,
drama, science fiction and some comedies are my favourites).
I’m a calm guy, I like to go out with my friends sometimes after my
part time job or a Friday after my studies, if my day goes in a bad
way for any reason I prefer go out alone and ride mi motorcycle to
a quiet place to think and relax.
Final draft of the process paragraph:
Final draft of the opinion paragraph:
Conclusion: