SỬA ĐỀ THI THẬT IELTS WRITING VIỆT NAM 13/12/2018

Young people like pop stars and famous movie

stars rather than famous people in history of their
country. Why? Solutions?
Commented [MOU1]: Dạng này là dạng 2 questions nha
em nha, đọc cách xác định dạng đề
https://www.ieltstutor.me/blog/huong-dan-xac-dinh-dang-
de-ielts-writing-task-two với lại cách viết dạng 2 question ở
đây nha https://www.ieltstutor.me/blog/2-questions-
writing-task-2-ielts

BÀI VIẾT LẦN 1

In this day and age, more and more contemporary
attention has been placed on the fact that the youth
Commented [MOU2]: More and more
are more interested in celebrities than people in
history. Below is the essay outlining several reasons
for this alarming tendency and then suggesting
feasible solutions to tackle this issue.==> good
There are two factors acting as the main culprits
behind the current trend, among which the root
cause is the effect of social media which leads to the
widespread fame of celebrities such as singers or
movie stars. In fact, in this modern life, social media
such as Facebook, twitter or online magazines has a
Commented [MOU3]: Có dấu ,
great influence on users especially the youth who

Sensitivity: Internal
 never want to be out-of-date. As a result, being a fan
of a singer become a popular trend among the young
people. Additionally, it is said that historical people
do not gain much interest due to the boring lessons
at schools. The heavy amount of knowledge that
students must perceive makes history become an
obsess for them rather than fascinating stories.
Urgent actions are called for to put a halt to this
trend. First of all, each individual should have
awareness of the fact that being interested in those
stars brings no practical value, which can avoid
wasting time and money on feasible actions. For
example, when being fascinated about a star, a fan
will be lured into buying any items which are being
advertised by the idol, or worse, the study result may
be detrimentally affected because he or she spends
many hours watching idols on the internet. Secondly,
it is necessary for family members especially parents
to help their children out of this situation. For
instance, by spending time telling more stories of the
past to children, parents can manage to help them
Sensitivity: Internal
Commented [MOU4]: The most famous
Commented [MOU5]: Không có the học the a ở đây nè
https://www.ieltstutor.me/blog/luu-y-writing-task-one
Commented [MOU6]: ở phía trên em đã nói 2 factors á thì
cái đầu tiên nguười ta đọc vào thấy liền thì cái factor thứ 2
em ghi rõ ra là
Secondly, …
Để kiểu nó hiểu liền là à con này nó đang nói tới cái factor
thứ 2
Commented [MOU7]: Cái này có xác định gì đâu mà có the
Commented [MOU8]: Từ nối đâu
Commented [MOU9]: Người ta dùng là information
overload
Commented [MOU10]: Chỗ này viết lủng củng nè với lại
phải nói cái hệ quả ra em vì là học chán với bắt học vẹt learn
sth by rote nên k gây hứng thú nên là students nó k thấy
mấy nhân vật kia quan trọng
Commented [MOU11]: ???? là như nào đọc k hiểu
Commented [MOU12]: Tập dùng mệnh đề qh rút gọn
advertised by
Commented [MOU13]: . To make the matter worse, their
study….
Commented [MOU14]: Viết ngắn gọn lại
Commented [MOU15]: Ê chỗ này viết như này là tính zô sai
task response đọc cái link 2 question ở trên người ta mà cho
đề why với solutions là cái solutions nó phải tuương ứng với
cáireasons phía trước như cái 1 em viết là do social media
thì solutions em nói nó phải aware như solution là đúng chứ
cái reason 2 em đang nói do học chán mà xuống solution nói
family members là thấy chớt quớt rồi em
 have more interest in historical people rather than
movie stars
Commented [MOU16]: ???? popularity
In conclusion, due the population of the stars and the
boring lessons at schools, children gradually become
Commented [MOU17]: Paraphrase đi
more interested in movie stars and singers.
Therefore, preventive measures which have been
mentioned above should be applied to reverse this
Commented [MOU18]: Tập viết conclusion 1 câu thôi
alarming tendency.
BÀI VIẾT LẦN 2

In this day and age, more and more contemporary

attention has been placed on the fact that the youth
are more fascinated about celebrities than people in
history. Below is the essay outlining several reasons
for this alarming tendency and then suggesting
feasible solutions to tackle this issue.
There are two factors acting as the main culprits
behind the current trend, among which the root
cause is the effect of social media which leads to the
widespread fame of celebrities such as singers or

Sensitivity: Internal
 Commented [MOU19]: Nowadays
movie stars. In fact, in this modern life, social media
such as Facebook, twitter or online magazines has a
Commented [MOU20]: Dùng hoài đổi qua younger
great influence on users, especially the youth who generation đi

never want to be out-of-date. As a result, being a fan

of the most famous singer become a popular trend
among young people. Secondly, it is said that
historical people do not gain much interest due to
boring lessons at school. In other words, due to the
overloaded information that students must perceive,
they have tendency to learn history by note rather
Commented [MOU21]: Due to em đã dùng 1 lần rồi thì
than being concerned about it. đừng dùng nữa
Overload information as well as the fact that they have to
learn historical figures by rote make students feel bored
Urgent actions are called for to put a halt to this easily

trend. First of all, each individual should raise

awareness of the fact that social media is only a way
of entertaining rather than a trend that they must
follow. Only by doing that, can the youth become
less addicted to famous people, consequently, save
more time for practical values. For example, after
watching movies or music videos, a fan will be lured
into buying any items advertised by their idol, or
worse, the study result may be detrimentally
affected because of not spending enough time on
Commented [MOU22]: Không có dấu phẩy cái này là cấu
trúc đảo ngữ đọc https://www.ieltstutor.me/blog/dao-ngu
Commented [MOU23]: Paraphrase
Commented [MOU24]: Go crazy over celebrities ê học
thêm vocab ở blog ielts tutor á
https://www.ieltstutor.me/blog/advertising
Commented [MOU25]: And then can save …
Commented [MOU26]: Ví dụ như là cái gì
Commented [MOU27]: Số nhiều
Commented [MOU28]: Their

Sensitivity: Internal
 Commented [MOU29]: When they are distratced from
studying . Secondly, it is necessary to make the their studies
Commented [MOU30]: For school and historical teachers
history more attractive by reducing less important
Commented [MOU31]: Actually,
details of the lessons. Alternatively stated, students
Commented [MOU32]: Là như nào
tend to be impressed by substantialy remarkable
events, as a result, they become more curious about
Commented [MOU33]: Chỗ này phải giải thích rõ thêm ra
related people.
In conclusion, preventive measures for an alarming
issues about which children are more interested in
Commented [MOU34]: An alarming fact that students
famous people due to the effect of the social media prefer celebrities to historical figures

Commented [MOU35]: Uninspiring

and the unexcited history lessons should be applied
as mentioned above.
BÀI VIẾT LẦN 3
In this day and age, more and more contemporary
attention has been placed on the fact that the youth
are more fascinated about celebrities than people in
history. Below is the essay outlining several reasons
for this alarming tendency and then suggesting
feasible solutions to tackle this issue.
There are two factors acting as the main culprits
behind the current trend, among which the root
cause is the effect of social media which leads to the

Sensitivity: Internal
 widespread fame of celebrities such as singers or
movie stars. In fact, nowadays, social media such as
Facebook, twitter or online magazines has a great
Commented [MOU36]: Dùng hoài đổi qua younger
influence on users, especially teenagers who never generation đi

want to be out-of-date. As a result, being a fan of the

most famous singer become a popular trend among
young people. Secondly, it is said that historical
people do not gain much interest due to boring
lessons at school. In other words, overload
information as well as the fact that they have to learn
historical figures by note make students feel bored
easily.
Urgent actions are called for to put a halt to this
trend. First of all, each individual should raise
awareness of the fact that social media is only a way
of entertaining rather than a trend that they must
Commented [MOU37]: Không có dấu phẩy cái này là cấu
follow. Only by doing that can teenagers become less trúc đảo ngữ đọc https://www.ieltstutor.me/blog/dao-ngu
Commented [MOU38]: Paraphrase
go crazy over celebrities and then can save more
Commented [MOU39]: Ví dụ như là cái gì
time for practical values such as family, friends or
study. For example, after watching movies or music
videos, a fan will be lured into buying any items
Commented [MOU40]: Số nhiều
advertised by their idols, or worse, their study result Commented [MOU41]: Their

Sensitivity: Internal
 may be detrimentally affected when they are
Commented [MOU42]: When they are distratced from
distracted from studies. Secondly, it is necessary for their studies

Commented [MOU43]: For school and historical teachers

school and historical teachers to make the history
more attractive by reducing less important details of
Commented [MOU44]: Actually,
the lessons. Actually, students tend to be more
impressed by remarkable events such as wars among
countries rather than general features like the
economic development in the past, as a result, they
Commented [MOU45]: Chỗ này phải giải thích rõ thêm ra
become more curious about related people.
In conclusion, preventive measures for an alarming
fact that students prefer celebrities to historical
figures due to the effect of the social media and the
uninspiring history lessons should be applied as
mentioned above.
1. feasible (adj) possible, reasonable, or likely
2. tackle (v) to try to deal with something or
someone
3. culprit (n) a fact or situation that is the reason
for something bad happening
4. celebrity (n) someone who is famous, especially
in the entertainment business

Sensitivity: Internal
 5. lure (v) to persuade someone to do something or
go somewhere by offering them something
exciting - be lured into
6. curious (adj) interested in learning about people
or things around you

Sensitivity: Internal