The Bug Bang Theory

THE BIG BANG THEORY
"The Virtual Disruptor"
Written by
Matt Bishop
COLD OPENING
FADE IN:
INT. WOLOWITZ’S OFFICE - DAY (DAY 1)

(Wolowitz, Koothrappali, Leonard, Sheldon)
WOLOWITZ WEARS AN ADVANCED-LOOKING VIRTUAL REALITY HEADSET

THAT COVERS HIS EYES AND EARS. HE MOVES HIS BODY LIKE HE’S
RIDING ON A SURFBOARD AND WATCHING A FRIEND SURF NEXT TO HIM.
WOLOWITZ
Yo, hang ten!
LEONARD, SHELDON, AND KOOTHRAPPALI APPEAR AT THE DOORWAY.

THEY WATCH WOLOWITZ, CURIOUS.
WOLOWITZ (CONT’D)
Gnarly waves, huh, bro?
LEONARD
Yeah, bro!
WOLOWITZ REALIZES HE HAS COMPANY AND PULLS OFF THE HEADSET.

HE LAUGHS A LITTLE, EMBARRASSED.
WOLOWITZ
Hey, guys.
LEONARD
Hey, bro.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Surf’s up.
The Big Bang Theory "The Virtual Disruptor" 2.
WOLOWITZ
Sorry, that was just a little virtual
reality experience. NASA sent over
some new headsets for us to demo.
SHELDON
Since when is NASA interested in VR?
WOLOWITZ
Since they realized they can jumpstart
our space mission training with some
of the programs loaded on here.
LEONARD
Like surfing?
WOLOWITZ
Oh, there are all kinds of different
ones. Surfing... Shopping...
There’s even one where you’re hanging
out at a spa with Kim Kardashian.
KOOTHRAPPALI’S FACE LIGHTS UP.
KOOTHRAPPALI
With Kimmy?
WOLOWITZ
Yeah. You wanna check it out? (OFF
KOOTHRAPPALI’S ENTHUSIASTIC GRIN)
I’ll take that as a big yes. (PUTS
THE HEADSET BACK ON) Hold on, I have
to find it.
WOLOWITZ PRESSES A BUTTON ON THE SIDE OF THE HEADSET TO

SCROLL THROUGH ITS PROGRAM OPTIONS. KOOTHRAPPALI BEAMS AT
LEONARD AND SHELDON.
KOOTHRAPPALI
I get to see my Kimmy.
LEONARD FROWNS, ANNOYED.
LEONARD
I thought she was Kanye’s Kimmy.
KOOTHRAPPALI REACTS, UPSET.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Don’t burst my bubble, dude.
WOLOWITZ
Ah, here it is.
WOLOWITZ TAKES OFF THE HEADSET AND HELPS KOOTHRAPPALI PUT IT

ON.
WOLOWITZ (CONT’D)
You see her?
KOOTHRAPPALI
(GASPS) If you mean an angel sent
straight down from heaven, then yes!
WOLOWITZ SMILES, PLEASED. HE TURNS TO LEONARD AND SHELDON.
WOLOWITZ
I’ve got a couple more headsets here
if you guys wanna try it out.
SHELDON
Howard, Leonard and I are legitimate
scientists working to unravel the
mysteries of the universe. We don’t
have time to dabble with toys.

LEONARD
I’ll try it.
SHELDON SHOOTS LEONARD AN INDIGNANT LOOK. LEONARD COWERS.
LEONARD (CONT’D)
What? It looks cool.
WOLOWITZ HANDS LEONARD A HEADSET. LEONARD PUTS IT ON AND

STARTS SCROLLING. HE STOPS ON A PROGRAM, EXCITED.
LEONARD (CONT’D)
Hey, would you look at that? I’m a
pro football player! Playing a game!
In the pros!
WOLOWITZ
You mean the NFL?
LEONARD
Yeah, whatever they call it! Wow,
I’ve never been a real-life athlete
before!
SHELDON
You’re not a real-life athlete now.
LEONARD
Fine, I’ve never been a virtual-life
athlete either!
KOOTHRAPPALI AND LEONARD MOVE AROUND, MATCHING THEIR VR

EXPERIENCES. WOLOWITZ HOLDS ANOTHER HEADSET OUT TO SHELDON.
WOLOWITZ
You sure you don’t wanna try it?
SHELDON
I’m more than sure.

WOLOWITZ
Because there are some train programs--
SHELDON
Ooooh! Gimme!
SHELDON GRABS THE HEADSET AND PUTS IT ON. HE STARTS

SCROLLING.
LEONARD
Howard, this is amazing!
WOLOWITZ
Glad you guys like it.
LEONARD
I’m surprised NASA would load all
these extra programs on here having
nothing to do with outer space.
WOLOWITZ
Well, an outside vendor made the
headsets. They just added programs
for NASA.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Dude, can we borrow these?
WOLOWITZ
What? No.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Come on, Howard. Please? I need to
spend more than a few minutes with my
Kimmy.
WOLOWITZ
Raj, they’re not mine. Besides,
they’re probably super expensive. I
don’t wanna be liable if one breaks.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Fine. I’ll be liable.
LEONARD
Me too.
SHELDON
Me three. All aboard!
WOLOWITZ SIGHS.
WOLOWITZ
Fine. But just for tonight. Deal?
KOOTHRAPPALI
Deal.
LEONARD
Deal.
SHELDON
Deal. Choo-choo!
CUT TO:
MAIN TITLES
ACT ONE
SCENE A
FADE IN:
INT. SHELDON & AMY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

(Sheldon, Amy)
AMY PACES, WEARING A NICE DRESS. SHE STARES IN AGGRAVATION

AT SHELDON, WHO’S ON THE COUCH WEARING HIS VR HEADSET, AS
WELL AS A T-SHIRT AND SHORTS.
AMY
Sheldon, you need to get ready right
now. We’re gonna be late meeting
Penny and Leonard.
NO RESPONSE FROM HER HUSBAND.
AMY (CONT’D)
Sheldon, come on. You can play with
that when we get back.
SHELDON
Just a minute. I need to make sure
Thomas gets back to the train station.
AMY REACTS, ANGRY.
AMY
You’re watching Thomas the Tank
Engine?
SHELDON
Amy, just because he’s animated
doesn’t make him any less of a train.
CUT TO:
SCENE B
INT. HALL OUTSIDE LEONARD & PENNY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT (NIGHT

1)
(Leonard, Penny, Amy)
AMY KNOCKS ON THE DOOR. PENNY ANSWERS, ALSO DRESSED UP.
PENNY
Hey.
AMY
Hey. Small problem: I can’t get
Sheldon off that blasted virtual
reality headset.
PENNY
Really?
AMY
I’m sorry.
PENNY
Don’t be.
PENNY WAVES AMY INSIDE.
RESET TO:
INT. LEONARD & PENNY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

PENNY LEADS AMY IN AND POINTS TO LEONARD, WHO’S STANDING IN

THE KITCHEN, WEARING HIS VR HEADSET AND DRESSED CASUALLY.
PENNY
I’m dealing with my own obsessiveness.

LEONARD
Tackle that guy running with the ball!
PENNY REACTS, IRRITATED.
PENNY
He’s called the running back!
LEONARD SMILES, OBLIVIOUS.
LEONARD
Thanks, hon. I’ll get ready as soon
as this period’s over, I swear.
PENNY
You’ve already sworn twice! And it’s
not called a period, it’s called a
quarter!
LEONARD
Oh, because there are four of them!
That makes sense.
LEONARD PLAYS ON. PENNY AND AMY TRADE HOPELESS LOOKS.
PENNY
How about just you and me go?
AMY
Works for me.
LEONARD RAISES HIS ARMS IN EXCITEMENT.
LEONARD
Touchback!
PENNY WHEELS TOWARD HIM, EXASPERATED.

PENNY
It’s not a touchback, Leonard! When
your team scores, it’s called a
touchdown!
LEONARD
They didn’t score. They tackled the
opposing quarterback in his own end
zone. What’s that called?
PENNY
Oh. Uh, a touchback.
LEONARD
Booya!
PENNY SIGHS, WEARY.
PENNY
Amy and I are leaving.
LEONARD
Okay, have fun!
SHE SCOWLS AT HER HUSBAND.
CUT TO:
SCENE C
INT. ITALIAN RESTAURANT - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

(Penny, Amy)
PENNY AND AMY SIT AT A TABLE, EATING PASTA AND DRINKING WINE.
AMY
I can’t believe how obsessed those two
are over some stupid virtual reality
programs.
PENNY
Really? You can’t believe it? The
guys who watched Blade Runner so many
times they wore out the Blu-ray?
AMY
You’re right. I guess they can get a
bit obsessive at times.
PENNY
A bit obsessive? Amy, they make
Howard Hughes look like the picture of
mental health by comparison.
AMY
How do you know about Howard Hughes?
PENNY
The Aviator. Leonardo DiCaprio. Duh.

AMY
What are we going to do?
PENNY
Ride it out like we always do.
PENNY GULPS HER WINE.
AMY
But Penny, I’m ovulating. Sheldon and
I were supposed to start trying to get
pregnant tonight.
PENNY
Really? Amy, that’s so exciting!
AMY
It would be, except now I’m having to
vie with a machine for my husband’s
affection.
PENNY
Vie nothing. The machine won.
AMY SIGHS.
AMY
We have such a small window of time
here. But how am I going to conceive
if Sheldon won’t pay attention to me?
PENNY
Artificial insemination?
AMY CONSIDERS IT.

AMY
Good idea. But I think the chances of
me collecting a sperm sample from him
willingly are slim to none.
PENNY
I was kidding.
AMY REACTS, COVERING.
AMY
Oh yeah, me too.
SHE TAKES A BIG SIP OF HER WINE.
PENNY
Leonard and I aren’t trying for kids
yet, but it would be nice if he paid
attention to me tonight. More than
(DUMB VOICE) “So that’s what a tight
end is? Thanks for the explanation.”
AMY
This is all Howard’s fault. If he
hadn’t let them borrow those stupid
headsets, our husbands would be here
right now, and I’d have a chance at
becoming a mom tonight.
PENNY
You’re right. We should definitely go
give him a piece of our minds.
AMY
I didn’t say that.

PENNY
I’m saying it for both of us, sweetie.
CUT TO:
SCENE D
INT. WOLOWITZ HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

(Wolowitz, Bernadette, Penny, Amy)
WOLOWITZ ENTERS, LOOKING AROUND. HE SIGHS AS HE NOTICES THE

DOOR TO THE ADJOINING BATHROOM IS CLOSED.
WOLOWITZ
You still in there?
BERNADETTE (O.S.)
It would appear so.
WOLOWITZ
It’s been like half an hour.
BERNADETTE (O.S.)
So?
WOLOWITZ
So are you sick or what?
BERNADETTE (O.S.)
I’m fine.
WOLOWITZ
It’s not that time of the month, is
it?
BERNADETTE (O.S.)
The time of the month where I need a
break from my husband? Yes, it is.
THERE’S A KNOCK AT THE FRONT DOOR. HOWARD CROSSES TO IT.

WOLOWITZ
(CALLING) Who is it?
PENNY (O.S.)
A couple of married women not getting
any because of you.
WOLOWITZ OPENS THE DOOR, REVEALING PENNY AND AMY WHO BOTH
LOOK ANNOYED. THEY STEP INSIDE. WOLOWITZ SWALLOWS HARD.
WOLOWITZ
What’s wrong?
AMY
You gave our husbands those VR
headsets, and now they won’t pay us
any attention.
WOLOWITZ
They won’t?
PENNY
Don’t play dumb with us, Howard.
You’re too smart to pull it off.
WOLOWITZ
Ladies, I’m sorry. I didn’t think
they’d get addicted. I didn’t.
PENNY
Oh, please. That’s the crack dealer
defense. (WHINY VOICE) “Your Honor,
I didn’t know my customers would get
hooked on the smack. I never did.”
WOLOWITZ
The crack dealer defense?

AMY
Now because of you, Howard, I may
never have children!
CONFUSED, WOLOWITZ RETREATS LIKE A CORNERED ANIMAL.
WOLOWITZ
(CALLING) Bernie, can you please get
out here before your friends murder
me?
A TOILET IS HEARD FLUSHING. THEN THE BATHROOM DOOR OPENS,

AND BERNADETTE APPEARS. SHE SMILES AT PENNY AND AMY.
BERNADETTE
Hey, guys.
PENNY AMY
Hey. Hi.
WOLOWITZ
They’re mad at me because Leonard and
Sheldon have gone VR-crazy. (THEN)
Speaking of which, have you seen my
headset? It’s been missing all night.
BERNADETTE
It might be in the baby’s room.
WOLOWITZ REACTS, UPSET.
WOLOWITZ
The baby’s room? She could destroy
it!
HE CROSSES OUT IN A HURRY. BERNADETTE STEPS BACK INTO THE

BATHROOM AND RETURNS WITH WOLOWITZ’S VR HEADSET, GRINNING.
PENNY
Bernadette!
AMY
You’re as bad as our husbands!
BERNADETTE
Have you seen what’s on here?
PENNY
Yeah, just sports programs...
AMY
And train programs...
BERNADETTE SHAKES HER HEAD, SMIRKING.
BERNADETTE
If you keep scrolling and scrolling
and scrolling, you’ll come to this.
SHE OFFERS THE HEADSET TO PENNY, WHO PUTS IT ON, CURIOUS.

AFTER A MOMENT PENNY GASPS, SMILING.
PENNY
Oh my gosh! Is that LaBare?
AMY
LaBare? Let me see!
AMY YANKS THE HEADSET OFF PENNY’S HEAD. PENNY GRIMACES.
PENNY
Ow, Amy! Just scalp me, why don’t
you?
AMY
Sorry. (PUTS ON THE HEADSET) Oh my
Lord! Hot, half-naked men gyrating on
a stage!
BERNADETTE
And more six-packs than a beer
factory.
AMY
Good one! Can I borrow this?
BERNADETTE
No chance in hell.
AMY
Come on, Bernadette! You know Sheldon
won’t share his.
BERNADETTE
Not my problem.
PENNY’S PHONE RINGS. SHE CHECKS CALLER ID AND ANSWERS.
PENNY
(INTO PHONE) Hey! How’d your date
go? (THEN) You’ve gotta be kidding
me! (THEN) Don’t worry, I’ll handle
this.
SHE HANGS UP, FUMING.
BERNADETTE
What’s wrong?
PENNY
That was my friend Chloe. She said
Raj didn’t show for their date
tonight. (REALIZES) Did he get a
headset too?
BERNADETTE
I think so.
PENNY
Damn these headsets and their VR
programs!
AMY
Except for LaBare.
PENNY
Of course.
CUT TO:
SCENE E
EXT. WALKWAY OUTSIDE KOOTHRAPPALI’S APARTMENT - NIGHT (NIGHT

1)
(Penny, Amy, Koothrappali)
PENNY HOLDS HER PHONE TO HER EAR WHILE AMY TRIES TO PEER INTO
A WINDOW. PENNY SIGHS, FRUSTRATED, AND PUTS HER PHONE AWAY.
PENNY
It’s going straight to voicemail every
time.
AMY
I see a light on. Knock once more.
PENNY KNOCKS HARD, BUT STILL NOBODY ANSWERS.
PENNY
Maybe he really isn’t home.
AMY
Only one way to find out for sure.
(FACING THE WINDOW) Fire! Fire!
PENNY REACTS, ANGRY.
PENNY
Amy, stop that!
THE DOOR FLIES OPEN. KOOTHRAPPALI APPEARS, WEARING HIS VR

HEADSET AND DRESSED LIKE A SLOB. HE LOOKS PANICKED.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Where’s the fire?!
PENNY GLARES AT HIM, GETTING IN HIS FACE.

PENNY
In my eyes! Can’t you see it?
KOOTHRAPPALI PULLS OFF HIS HEADSET, ALARMED.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Penny! Amy! What are you doing here?
AMY
Well--
PENNY
The better question is what are you
doing here and not on your date with
my friend who you begged me to set you
up with?
KOOTHRAPPALI
That was tonight? My bad.
PENNY
Yeah, it is your bad! And I know why
you forgot, too. Because of this!
PENNY YANKS THE HEADSET OUT OF HIS HAND.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Hey, give that back!
PENNY
I’ll give it back after you apologize
to Chloe and take her out like you
were supposed to!
KOOTHRAPPALI REACTS, DEVASTATED. HE OUTSTRETCHES HIS HAND.
KOOTHRAPPALI
But I need my Kimmy!

PENNY
Forget your Kimmy!
PENNY AND AMY START AWAY. AMY GLANCES BACK AT HIM.
AMY
Bye, Raj. (THEN TO PENNY, EXCITED)
So which one of us gets to hit the
club first?
PENNY
I’m driving, so knock yourself out.
SHE HANDS THE HEADSET TO AMY, WHO IS OVERCOME WITH JOY.
AMY
You’re the greatest friend ever!
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO
SCENE F
FADE IN:

(Leonard, Penny)
LEONARD AND PENNY SIT ON THE COUCH, THEIR FEET PROPPED UP ON

THE TABLE, EACH WEARING A VR HEADSET AND ENJOYING THEMSELVES.
LEONARD
Pass it, he’s open! He’s open!
PENNY
Oh yeah! Shake those moneymakers!
LEONARD PULLS HIS HEADSET UP AND LOOKS AT PENNY, CONCERNED.
LEONARD
What are you watching?
PENNY
Nothing you’d be interested in.
LEONARD
Shake those moneymakers?
PENNY
They’re, uh, shooting dice. Playing
craps.
LEONARD
Since when are you interested in
craps?
PENNY
Since when are you interested in
football?
LEONARD
Touché.
HE PULLS HIS HEADSET BACK DOWN.
CUT TO:
SCENE G
EXT. SHELDON & AMY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

(Sheldon, Amy)
SHELDON’S STILL ON THE COUCH, STILL WEARING HIS HEADSET. AMY

CUDDLES UP NEXT TO HIM.
AMY
Sheldon?
SHELDON
Hmm?
AMY
Could I have a turn?
SHELDON
Not now. Someone dropped a load on
the tracks by accident, and we have to
get it cleared.
AMY
Just for a minute?
SHELDON
Are you wanting a derailment?
CUT TO:
SCENE H

LEONARD AND PENNY CONTINUE THEIR VR BINGE ON THE COUCH.

THERE’S A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. NEITHER OF THEM MAKES A MOVE TO
ANSWER IT. THERE’S ANOTHER KNOCK. STILL NEITHER MOVES.
FINALLY THE DOOR OPENS. AMY ENTERS AND CROSSES TO PENNY.
AMY
Penny?
PENNY
Ah!
PENNY JUMPS, ALARMED. LEONARD PULLS HIS HEADSET UP, ALSO

ALARMED. THEN PENNY PULLS HER HEADSET UP, SCOWLING AT AMY.
PENNY (CONT’D)
Don’t you knock?
AMY
I did knock. Twice.
PENNY
Oh. Sorry. What’s up?
AMY
Can I borrow your headset? Sheldon
won’t share his.
PENNY
I’d let you, but I’m right in the
middle of a good part.

LEONARD
(TO AMY) She’s watching a craps game.
AMY SNORTS LAUGHTER, THEN TRIES TO STIFLE IT. PENNY GLARES

AT HER. LEONARD FURROWS HIS BROW, CONFUSED.
LEONARD (CONT’D)
What’s so funny?
AMY
Oh, uh, nothing. I was just thinking
about a joke Sheldon told me earlier.
LEONARD
Sheldon doesn’t tell jokes.
AMY
I know. That’s what was so funny
about it. (TO PENNY) Now about that
headset...
PENNY
Not right now.
AMY NODS, SEEMING TO ACCEPT THIS. THEN SHE TURNS TO LEONARD.
AMY
Leonard, have you seen this craps
game? It’s quite impressive--
PENNY
Fine!
PENNY YANKS THE HEADSET OFF, FUMING. SHE HANDS IT TO AMY.
AMY
Thanks. And, um, I’m sorry.
PENNY
No, you’re not.

AMY
You’re right, I’m not.
CUT TO:
SCENE I
INT. WOLOWITZ HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

(Wolowitz, Bernadette, Koothrappali)
THERE’S A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. WOLOWITZ STAGGERS IN, WIPING

SLEEP FROM HIS EYES.
WOLOWITZ
(CALLING) Who is it?
KOOTHRAPPALI (O.S.)
It’s Raj.
WOLOWITZ UNLOCKS AND OPENS THE DOOR, REVEALING KOOTHRAPPALI.

HE HURRIES IN, ANIMATED.
KOOTHRAPPALI (CONT’D)
Hey.
WOLOWITZ
Hey. What are you doing here?
KOOTHRAPPALI
Sorry to come by so late, but I really
need to borrow your VR headset.
WOLOWITZ
What?
KOOTHRAPPALI
Penny took mine, and I miss my sweet
Kimmy.
WOLOWITZ
Why’d she take yours? (THEN) You
know what? I’m too tired to care.
KOOTHRAPPALI
So can I borrow yours then?
WOLOWITZ
Raj, I don’t even know where it is. I
haven’t been able to find it all
night.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Would Bernadette know?
WOLOWITZ
I don’t-- (REALIZES) She wasn’t in
bed with me when you knocked.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Then where is she?
WOLOWITZ EYES THE CLOSED BATHROOM DOOR. HE PUTS A FINGER

OVER HIS LIPS, TELLING KOOTHRAPPALI TO BE SILENT. THEN HE
TIPTOES TO THE BATHROOM AND TRIES THE KNOB. IT’S LOCKED.
WOLOWITZ CROSSES TO A COAT CLOSET, OPENS IT, AND REMOVES A

WIRE HANGER. HE STRAIGHTENS IT, MAKING IT A LOCK PICK. HE
SLIPS IT IN THE DOOR KNOB, POPS IT, AND YANKS OPEN THE DOOR.
WOLOWITZ
Aha!
BERNADETTE (O.S.)
Ah!
BERNADETTE SCAMPERS OUT OF THE BATHROOM, ALARMED, WEARING THE

HEADSET. SHE PULLS THE HEADSET UP AND GLARES AT HER HUSBAND.
BERNADETTE (CONT’D)
Don’t scare me like that!

WOLOWITZ
I’m sorry, Bernie. (THEN) Looks like
you found the headset. Where was it?
BERNADETTE
Oh, it was, uh, in the baby’s room.
WOLOWITZ
No, I checked there. Remember?
WOLOWITZ STARES HER DOWN. BERNADETTE NOTICES KOOTHRAPPALI

STANDING THERE. SHE TURNS TO HIM, WELCOMING THE DIVERSION.
BERNADETTE
Hi, Raj.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Hey, Bernadette. (POINTS TO THE
HEADSET ON HER HEAD) Whatcha
watching?
BERNADETTE
Oh, just a, uh, sunset.
KOOTHRAPPALI
I love sunsets! Can I see?
BERNADETTE
No, you wouldn’t like this one.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Nonsense!
KOOTHRAPPALI SNATCHES THE HEADSET OFF HER HEAD BEFORE SHE CAN
STOP HIM.
BERNADETTE
Ow! Raj, give that back!

KOOTHRAPPALI
I just want a peek!
HE SLIPS THE HEADSET ON, THEN RECOILS AT WHAT HE SEES.
KOOTHRAPPALI (CONT’D)
Ah!
KOOTHRAPPALI PULLS THE HEADSET UP, STUNNED.
WOLOWITZ
That’s not a sunset, but those are
definitely heavenly bodies. I wish I
could get that kind of ab definition.
WOLOWITZ (CONT’D)
What are you talking about? Give me
that!
WOLOWITZ TAKES THE HEADSET FROM KOOTHRAPPALI AND PUTS IT ON.

HE REACTS, HORRIFIED.
WOLOWITZ (CONT’D)
Bernie! How could you?
BERNADETTE
I’m sorry!
WOLOWITZ
I don’t even know you anymore!
KOOTHRAPPALI
(TO BERNADETTE) Do Penny and Amy know
about this beefcake extravaganza?
BERNADETTE
Yeah, I showed them.

WOLOWITZ
You showed them? Does your deception
know no end?
BERNADETTE
I said I was sorry!
KOOTHRAPPALI
(TO HIMSELF) So that’s why they took
my headset. Mad about her friend...
Please. She just wanted to gaze at
this man meat.
CUT TO:
SCENE J
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE LEONARD & PENNY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

(NIGHT 1)
(Leonard, Penny, Koothrappali)
KOOTHRAPPALI KNOCKS. THE DOOR OPENS, REVEALING LEONARD.
KOOTHRAPPALI
I want my headset back.
LEONARD
First of all, hello, Raj. Second of
all, I don’t have your headset.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Penny does. She took it to watch man
meat.
LEONARD
What?
PENNY APPEARS IN THE DOORWAY. KOOTHRAPPALI SMIRKS AT HER.
KOOTHRAPPALI
I know all about your man meat.
PENNY REACTS, HORRIFIED.
PERRY
Amy told you?
KOOTHRAPPALI
Bernadette told me.

LEONARD
Will someone please tell me what man
meat is?
KOOTHRAPPALI
It’s a VR program with a bunch of half-
naked dudes your wife and her friends
were getting their jollies watching.
LEONARD
Penny! Really?!
PENNY
Well, you were neglecting me! For
football! Which is something I’d
never thought I’d say about you my
entire life!
LEONARD
That’s not an excuse!
PENNY
You’re right. It’s not. (SIGHS) I’m
sorry, Leonard. I let Amy get me all
worked up over this thing.
LEONARD
Speaking of whom...
CUT TO:
SCENE K
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE SHELDON & AMY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT (NIGHT

1)
(Sheldon, Amy, Leonard, Penny, Koothrappali)
LEONARD KNOCKS ON THE DOOR WHILE KOOTHRAPPALI AND PENNY WAIT

BEHIND HIM. AMY ANSWERS, PUSHING UP KOOTHRAPPALI’S HEADSET.
AMY
Hey, guys. What’s going on?
LEONARD
You know exactly what’s going on.
SHELDON APPEARS BEHIND AMY, WEARING HIS HEADSET.
SHELDON
Hey, Leonard.
LEONARD
Sheldon, I have some bad news, buddy.
It turns out Amy, Penny, and
Bernadette have been watching a VR
program featuring half-naked guys in a
club... shaking their moneymakers.
AMY REACTS, ASHAMED. SHE TAKES OFF HER HEADSET. SHELDON

TURNS TO HER.
SHELDON
You have?
AMY
Yes.
SHELDON
Okay.
AMY
You’re not mad?
SHELDON
No.
KOOTHRAPPALI
Sheldon, your wife has been checking
out a bunch of dudes. With abs of
steel. And tight little cabooses.
SHELDON
So? I’ve been checking out a bunch of
trains of steel with tight little
cabooses.
LEONARD
Don’t bother, Raj. Sometimes I forget
he’s a robot, not flesh and blood.
SHELDON REACTS, HURT.
SHELDON
I’m no robot, Leonard.
SHELDON DISAPPEARS INTO HIS APARTMENT. LEONARD THROWS UP HIS

HANDS.
LEONARD
His wife’s ogling man meat, and that’s
what upsets him?!
CUT TO:
SCENE L
INT. WOLOWITZ HOUSE, MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

(Wolowitz, Bernadette)
WOLOWITZ LIES IN BED, HIS EYES OPEN, FACING THE WALL.

BERNADETTE SNUGGLES WITH HIM, TRYING TO MAKE AMENDS.
BERNADETTE
Howie? You still mad at me?
WOLOWITZ SITS UP AND FACES HER.
WOLOWITZ
I’m not mad. It’s just... Is that
what you want, Bernadette? A buff guy
like that? Because I’ll give you that
if that’s what you want. I have a gym
membership. I could actually start
using it.
BERNADETTE
Howie, no! I don’t care about that.
I like you just the way you are.
WOLOWITZ
Really?
BERNADETTE
Really. I promise.
WOLOWITZ BREATHES A SIGH OF RELIEF, SMILING.

WOLOWITZ
Thank goodness! Because I hate
weightlifting with a passion.
BERNADETTE
You don’t say?
BERNADETTE TURNS OVER, GOING TO SLEEP. WOLOWITZ LOOKS AT

HER, TROUBLED, UNSURE EXACTLY WHAT SHE MEANT BY THAT.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT TWO

TAG
FADE IN:
INT. PHYSICS DEPARTMENT CAFETERIA - DAY (DAY 2)

(Wolowitz, Koothrappali, Leonard, Sheldon)
THE FOURSOME SITS AT A TABLE WITH THEIR LUNCH TRAYS. LEONARD

AND KOOTHRAPPALI HAND WOLOWITZ THEIR HEADSETS. WOLOWITZ
GLANCES AT SHELDON.
WOLOWITZ
Sheldon?
SHELDON
Yes?
WOLOWITZ
Where’s your headset?
SHELDON
Oh, I must have left it at home.
WOLOWITZ
Sheldon, you agreed to return it
today. (THEN) You know you can’t
keep it, right?
SHELDON
Of course. I just forgot it. Can’t a
person forget something once? I do
have an advanced intellect constantly
working to solve the mysteries of the
universe, you know.

WOLOWITZ
Fine. You forgot it. Just make sure
you bring it tomorrow.
SHELDON
Or I may have lost it.
WOLOWITZ
You lost it? Seriously?
SHELDON
Possibly.
WOLOWITZ
Well, if you did, you’re gonna have to
pay for it. And it’s not cheap. I
looked it up.
SHELDON
How much--
WOLOWITZ
Ten thousand dollars--
SHELDON
Oh, forget it.
SHELDON REACHES UNDER THE TABLE AND RETRIEVES THE HEADSET

THAT WAS SITTING ON HIS LAP. HE HANDS IT TO WOLOWITZ.
SHELDON (CONT’D)
For that kind of money, I’ll visit a
train yard in person.
FADE OUT.
END OF SHOW

The Bug Bang Theory

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THE BIG BANG THEORY

"The Virtual Disruptor"

INT. WOLOWITZ’S OFFICE - DAY (DAY 1)

WOLOWITZ WEARS AN ADVANCED-LOOKING VIRTUAL REALITY HEADSET

Yo, hang ten!

LEONARD, SHELDON, AND KOOTHRAPPALI APPEAR AT THE DOORWAY.

Gnarly waves, huh, bro?

WOLOWITZ REALIZES HE HAS COMPANY AND PULLS OFF THE HEADSET.

Sorry, that was just a little virtual

reality experience. NASA sent over

some new headsets for us to demo.

Since when is NASA interested in VR?

Since they realized they can jumpstart

our space mission training with some

of the programs loaded on here.

Oh, there are all kinds of different

ones. Surfing... Shopping...

There’s even one where you’re hanging

out at a spa with Kim Kardashian.

KOOTHRAPPALI’S FACE LIGHTS UP.

Yeah. You wanna check it out? (OFF

KOOTHRAPPALI’S ENTHUSIASTIC GRIN)

I’ll take that as a big yes. (PUTS

THE HEADSET BACK ON) Hold on, I have

WOLOWITZ PRESSES A BUTTON ON THE SIDE OF THE HEADSET TO

I get to see my Kimmy.

LEONARD FROWNS, ANNOYED.

I thought she was Kanye’s Kimmy.

KOOTHRAPPALI REACTS, UPSET.

Don’t burst my bubble, dude.

Ah, here it is.

WOLOWITZ TAKES OFF THE HEADSET AND HELPS KOOTHRAPPALI PUT IT

You see her?

(GASPS) If you mean an angel sent

straight down from heaven, then yes!

WOLOWITZ SMILES, PLEASED. HE TURNS TO LEONARD AND SHELDON.

I’ve got a couple more headsets here

if you guys wanna try it out.

Howard, Leonard and I are legitimate

scientists working to unravel the

mysteries of the universe. We don’t

have time to dabble with toys.

I’ll try it.

SHELDON SHOOTS LEONARD AN INDIGNANT LOOK. LEONARD COWERS.

What? It looks cool.

WOLOWITZ HANDS LEONARD A HEADSET. LEONARD PUTS IT ON AND

Hey, would you look at that? I’m a

pro football player! Playing a game!

You mean the NFL?

Yeah, whatever they call it! Wow,

I’ve never been a real-life athlete

You’re not a real-life athlete now.

Fine, I’ve never been a virtual-life

KOOTHRAPPALI AND LEONARD MOVE AROUND, MATCHING THEIR VR

You sure you don’t wanna try it?

I’m more than sure.

Because there are some train programs--

SHELDON GRABS THE HEADSET AND PUTS IT ON. HE STARTS

Howard, this is amazing!

Glad you guys like it.

I’m surprised NASA would load all

these extra programs on here having

nothing to do with outer space.

Well, an outside vendor made the