Konso - Marriage and Family

Marriage. Polygyny is permitted, but only about 10 percent of Konso men have
sufficient wealth to support more than one wife. There is also considerable jealousy
between cowives, who have separate establishments. Marriages are arranged by
parents but, usually, only at the request of the young man and with the consent of the
girl. Bride-wealth is not an important aspect of marriage and is not thought of as a
compensation for rights over the bride or her children transferred in marriage, but only
as establishing friendship between the groom and his father-in-law. Divorce is easy in
theory, but in practice it seems to be rare. For the Konso who live in Garati, all parallel-
cousin marriage is prohibited, but marriage is allowed with cross cousins as long as
they are not eldest daughters, whereas in Takadi and Turo, all cross-cousin marriage is
forbidden, as well as all parallel-cousin marriage. A man may marry his deceased wife's
sister, and a woman whose husband dies may marry his brother, but if the husband was
an eldest son who died without an heir, his wife is expected to bear a son in his name
by one of his brothers. The wife of a pogalla is not supposed to marry again. More than
50 percent of marriages take place within the town, and those outside the town are with
members of friendly towns near at hand. Residence is patrilocal.
Domestic Unit. The domestic group of husband, wife, and children is the basic unit of
production. The eldest son lives in his father's homestead after marriage, but younger
sons are expected to set up new homes after they marry. In polygynous marriages, the
senior wife lives in her husband's homestead, but junior wives have separate
establishments, where they live with their children and are visited periodically by their
husband. The family is under the authority of the husband.
Inheritance. Property is inheritable only within the lineage. The eldest son inherits his
father's homestead and twice the share of land that is inherited by each of his younger
brothers. If a man dies without heirs, the nearest male relative within the lineage will
inherit. Women cannot inherit any form of property, nor can they transmit property
rights.
Socialization. The mother is primarily responsible for disciplining the children, and her
brothers may also punish them. The relationship between grandparents and
grandchildren is more relaxed than that between parents and children, yet great respect
is given to the grandfather in particular. Older siblings, usually sisters, are delegated to
look after small children, and, given the crowded and populous nature of Konso towns, it
is easy for children to play together in groups. Adolescent boys sleep in the men's
houses with the older married men, where they become acquainted with Konso
traditions.
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Mareko tribe[edit]
The “Mareko” tribe has its own different traditional ways of accomplishing things. Wedding customs
are among these traditions. Girls get married from 15-17 and boys 16-20. This tribe has different
types and ways of Wedding, “Tewaja” meaning arranged wedding, “Alulima” accidental
Wedding,”Shokokanecho” is where the man goes to the girls house with his friends and take her
using force. “Gusno” is Wedding by abduction while “Herima” is by fooling her were a third person
middles in and tells the girl a lot of good things about the man until she agrees, it is a mind game by
the third person played on the girl. “Abagadima” is when the bride goes to the house of the man she
wants to marry and tell his family that she has fallen in love with him and. The groom's family will
then accept her and the Wedding is held. “Meinbetoma” is when the wife dies and if the man is
thought to be a good person he will then be given his wife's sister so as she can make him forget his
wife and takes care of him and his children. According to the written documents found in this tribe,
“Tewaja” or arranged Wedding is related to the religious ceremony of that tribe. First, the groom tells
his friends to tell his family which girl he wants to marry. If his families agree then he starts the
preparation. Firs thing in the morning his friends will go to the bride's house putting all their swords
outside and get inside the house without asking for anyone's permission and sit there for a while and
then go out without saying a word. This action keeps going for three days. But they are not allowed
to go to her house on Friday's and Wednesday's because these days are symbolized as unlucky
days.
On the first day to the bride's house the groom's friends are to pay attention to everything they see
on their way. If they see a bird named “Tarailae” passing on their left side or a girl who carries a pot
full of water, it is believed that the Wedding will be blessed. But if they see “Tarailae” passing on
their right side or a girl who carries an empty pot and most of all if they see the bride cleaning her
house then it is believed that it is not God's will and so the preparation stops immediately.If his
friends are lucky and she is the right fit for him then they say to her families “we have come here to
be your sons and ask you to be our parents as we have seen and as you have witnessed the bird
has given us your daughter so we ask you to give us your daughter too”. The person who has been
asked will then tell the bride's mother. The bride's mother will discuss this issue with her husband
and give an answer after days. If both the mother and the father agree then the groom's friends will
kiss the mother's shoulder (a way of showing respect and honor).The next step will be all the
neighbors and families of the bride meeting on a big tree shed and decide whether she should get
married to this family or not after several investigations of what kind of a person the groom is. If all
decide and agree that she should get married then the elderly people are sent to the bride's uncle
house. Since the uncle understands that they came because of the respect they have for him he will
say, “If her mother, her father and the bird gave you the permission then I will also give you my
permission.” After this, a date is set and the married will be held.

Bena tribe[edit]
Bena is part of the southern tribe and tribeality of Ethiopia. There are different types of Wedding in
this tribe and pre-required customs. According to the norm of this culture, before a man's life partner
is chosen for him he is supposed to jump a row of oxen. Earlier before this situation happens the
man will tell all his families that he is ready to jump these oxen. As so his families will prepare a huge
celebration. If he completes his challenge successfully he thighs his waist with a nail using a leather.
This nail is a necklace given for his bride letter on. After this ceremony the preparation of finding the
right fit for him starts. Once he completes his four round of jumping the row of ox he only eats meat,
honey and drinks only milk for three consecutive months until he find the right life partner. If there
was a girl chosen by his family before he jumped, elderly's are sent to the girl's house. The man also
looks for his life partner out of his clan. If he finds her, he uses force to make her eat any kind
of cereal that is found around them. If this happens it is thought that she has become his bride and
she is no longer anyone's but his. If the girl who ate the cereal is a child then she is allowed to stay
with her family until she is 15 or 20. After that he might send elderly's to her family or take her
forcefully. Accordingly, the first wife of a man who completed his challenge of jumping the row of ox
is called “bignarow”. If he wants to get married again due to different circumstances then he is not
expected to jump anymore, there is a jewelry women's wear to show that they are ready to be
married as a second wife.
The other type of Wedding is called “baskin”. This Wedding is where the younger brother takes full
control over his older brother's wife when he dies. If her dead husband does not have a younger
brother then one person from their clan is going to marry her. If a man in this clan has a lot of money
and has high economical status he is then allowed to marry 10 girls with one go. The next step now
is giving gifts to the bride's family “telosh”. Depending on the type of Wedding the amount of the
“telosh” increases, the groom might even pay until the third generation for her family. If he married
her by abduction then the amount of the “telosh” to be paid increases. Finally the Wedding is held in
a huge ceremony.

Dasenech tribe[edit]
Dasenech is one of the 16 tribe found in the southern omo. Mainly there are 4 types of wedding
customs inside this tribe. Darch is a kind of wedding ceremony happens when the boy's family asks
properly to the girl's family to marry their son. If the boy is afraid of asking he will send his best friend
at night to her family as a messenger. The messenger should have coffee bean on his hand when
he goes to her house. Then the messenger should put the coffee bean inside on kind of bowl called
Nono. Without being seen by her family and he goes back to his house. The girl's family, at any time
when they see the coffee bean inside their Nono, since they didn't see who put it they would secretly
search the person in their community. After the find the boy's family they would prepare the coffee
bean and invite them to their house to drink coffee together. While they were drinking coffee the girl's
family will ask if the boy have enough cattle, goats and sheep as a dowry. If they have enough, then
her family would agree for the wedding. At first her family would order the boy's family to bring 4
goats. Then the goats will be slaughtered and the front leg of each goat will be given to the
messenger. Afterwards her family would ask additional 10 cattle to be given. Finally, the boy would
take his wife.
Seriti the second type of wedding mostly practiced in southern tribe and tribealities. This kind of
wedding happens when the girl does not agree to marry or due to lack of money of the boy's family
in order to pay for dowry. Therefore, if the boy's family does not meet these criteria or if she doesn't
agree he will abduct her. Finally, the case will be handled by the elders and come up with a
solution.Ayod is the type of wedding where the elder man of the house is married. At some point in
time if he dies but if his wife is still alive, then his younger brother will marry her. Egutunais where
the man who wants to marry the girl brings a lot of cattle to the girl's family and takes the girl to his
house and marry her.

Kafficho tribe[edit]
Kafficho is one of SNNPR region. In Kafficho culture the Wedding age for girls is starting from 18
and for boys it is starting from 20. Initially if the groom and bride's father make agreement to the
Wedding, the groom will send elders to the bride family regarding to know her feeling. Most of the
time the girl will tell her feeling to her mother. If their response is “no” the answer will send by the
messenger. But if their answer is ‘yes’ they will start get ready to the Wedding ceremony. On the day
of the wedding the groom and the best man start to make sound from horn of elephant which is
called “shameto” to show they are arriving at the bride's house. When the Bride, groom and the best
man arrive at bride's home they will rotate those three javelin and they will sit. After months the girl
family will call the best man and the best man will stay there for days. The amount of dowry will
decide based on the groom wealth, power, appellation and family tree. In Kafficho culture when the
girl is pregnant and if her time to give birth is near she will go to her mother in law house in order to
get more protection and care.

Tsemay tribe[edit]
Of all the traditions and customs Tsemay tribe has, the different types of Wedding are the typical
identities of this tribe. There are about five different types of Weddings. These include Wedding done
by the agreement between the families (“Haliko Egael”), by the agreement of the weds (“Wawaki
Bais”), abduction Wedding(“Midi”), Inheritance Wedding(“Shano”) and replacement
Wedding(“Sagarte”). The arranged Wedding first starts by the man choosing the best candidate to
be his wife. After he selected he tells his family and elder mediators are sent to the girl's house. The
elders after talking with her father and agree to give the dowry leave the house and go back. The
one who decides how much of a dowry the groom's family has to give is the bride's father. The
dowry may also include cattle, sheep and goat. Honey, coffee and butter are also advisable to bring.
On the wedding day unlike the other cultures in Ethiopia the man isn't supposed to go to her house
to take her to his house instead the bride's brothers and relatives have to take her to the groom's
house. After eating the food and enjoying all the preparations made by the groom's family for a day,
the relatives of the bride go back to their houses. If not invited by the bride's relatives the families
have no chance of meeting each other.
The second Wedding type is agreement by the couple. Families specially the bride's is not asked for
a permission to marry. After the woman has entered the man's house, the family of the man sends
elder people to say “Your daughter is with us.” In the community in spite of the Wedding type, it is a
must to pay the dowry. If not paid the Wedding will not continue and the families might fight with
each other. Abduction Wedding is performed without the knowing of the girl by kidnapping her by
force. If a man is married this way, since it is believed that he disgraced the girl's family pride his
punishment is severe. Inheritance Wedding is done when a husband dies for the husband not to
carry the burden of raising children alone, her sister a close relative is chosen from her families and
given to the husband as replacement.
Other than the Wedding types listed above there is another occasionally happening Wedding which
is known as loan Wedding (‘Yedubegabicha”). This is done when the boy has no satisfying income
to pay for the dowry. He asks their permission by promising to pay up by working and give labor
service to her family. In accordance the agreement he needs to work going to her family every day
and finish paying for the dairy by working overtime if the husband dies without finishing the money, it
continues to his children and they are supposed to pay. Since every person has the interest in
having many kids having more than one Wedding is fine.
Ayda tribe[edit]
Wedding customs in the “Ayda” tribe is one of the tribe found in the southern tribe and tribealities
and peoples of Ethiopia. It is manly found in the southern “Gofa” woreda around 12 kebeles there
are four types of Wedding accustomed in the tribe. These are by the agreement of families, the
couple also abduction and inheritance. If both parties have agreed the man tries to attract his bride
by dancing a dance named “wonde" which is alone by circling her. If the girl agrees he gives her a
ring or if he doesn't have one he puts on wet grass on her finger. Starting his own house and collect
money to be used after Wedding. His father gives him a bit of land. After finishing these
preparations, elders are sent to her house. Her families set a date for their engagement and at last
the Wedding also proceeds. To test the efficiency/density of the Wedding they kill a goat by a stick
named “girawa”. The intestine is checked by the elders. If the “gethu” is not attractive the Wedding is
broken and she returns to her family's house. If the Wedding succeeds but she doesn't give birth to a
child the dowry is returned. Without being given some money, they separate and she has to return to
her house. If they have given birth the man is not yet acknowledged as a gather. In the tradition if the
child delivery day is approaching a separate but behind their house is built and she stays for six
months after giving birth.