Some people do not go directly to college but travel

or work for a short time. Discuss both views and give

your opinion

Lần sau nhớ đếm số chữ

In this day and age, more and more contemporary

attention has been placed on the fact that some
Commented [MOU1]: To look paralell với to travel
students choose to travel or look for short time jobs
Commented [MOU2]: Go do đang pararell với choose mà
rather than going directly to college. In my opinion,
Commented [MOU3]: Số nhiều
this tendency brings more practical value than
Commented [MOU4]: , which mới đúng
drawbacks which all be clarified in this essay, Commented [MOU5]: ?

On the one hand, travelling or working can make

students more mature in the way how they behave in
Commented [MOU6]: Bỏ
life In other words, when being in a new place which
is significantly more complex than schools, the youth
Commented [MOU7]: Socialise with the outside world
not only manage to treat people well but also do they Viết ngắn lại
Teach the youth how to behave …
have to protect them self from being lured into bad
Commented [MOU8]: Chỗ này cho ví dụ ra
things. Moreover, it is the valuable experience and
lessons that people may perceive when being
exposed to a new mindset makes travelling and
Commented [MOU9]: Là như nào, câu main idea phải rõ ý
working more popular. For example, by pursuing ra đọc k hiểu

knowledege of food cannot make a good cook, he or Commented [MOU10]: ? sai grammar
she also need to practise cooking frequently or travel
many places in the world to understand deeply about
the recipes. Additionally, doing such jobs can make
them practice many skills such as problem-solving or
time management which are highly useful for the
studying or their carrer path.

On the other hand, there are still some disavantages

behind this trend. Firstly, due to the shortage of
knowledege, students may be exploited at work or
deceived into wrong doings. For example, employers
can pay them a low allowance for the reason of not
sufficent about experience. Moreover, students may
fail to pursuing the higher knowledge after a time of
travelling and working because they find it hard to join
in a new community. For instance, when coming back
to the university, their old classmates have all
graduated, which may cause an extreme depress for
the studying.

In conclusion, I strongly affirm that travelling or

working for a short time before going to the college
can brings more benefits than drawbacks for all
reasons which are mentioned above.
BAI VIET LAN 2

303 words

In this day and age, more and more contemporary

attention has been placed on the fact that some
students travel or look for short time jobs rather than
go directly to college. In my opinion, this tendency
brings more practical values than drawbacks, which
Commented [MOU11]: Will be
all be clarified in this essay.

On the one hand, travelling or working can make

students more mature in life. In other words, being in
a new place which is significantly more complex than
schools can teach students how to treat people well
Commented [MOU12]: Behave
and responese quickly in different situations.
Moreover, when travelling and working, students are
exposed to a new mindset, as a result, they can
perceive valuable experience and lessons. For
example, pursuing knowledege of food cannot make
Commented [MOU13]: Pursuing knowledge of food cannot
a good cook, he or she also need to practise cooking make a student become a good cook

frequently or travel to many places in the world to Commented [MOU14]: 2 câu không nối nhau bởi dấu ,

understand deeply about the recipes. Additionally,

doing such jobs can make them practice many skills Commented [MOU15]: ???? là job gì nói cụ thể ra
such as problem-solving or time management which
Commented [MOU16]: Their
are highly useful for the studying or their carrer path. Commented [MOU17]: Their later

On the other hand, there are some disavantages

behind this trend. Firstly, due to the shortage of
knowledege, students may be exploited at work or
Commented [MOU18]: Into doing …
deceived into wrong doings. For example, employers
can pay them a low allowance for the reason of not
Commented [MOU19]: Due to their lack of experience
sufficent about experience. Secondly, students may
Commented [MOU20]: To pursue
fail to pursuing the higher knowledge after a time of
travelling and working because they may find it hard
to join in a new community. For instance, when
coming back to the university, their old classmates
have all graduated, which may cause an extreme
Commented [MOU21]: Or , mà dùng lose movitation to
depress for the studying. study

In conclusion, I strongly affirm that travelling or

working for a short time before going to the college
can brings more benefits than drawbacks for all
reasons which are mentioned above.

BÀI VIẾT LẦN 3

307 words

In this day and age, more and more contemporary

attention has been placed on the fact that some
students travel or look for short time jobs rather than
go directly to college. In my opinion, this tendency
brings more practical values than drawbacks, which
will be clarified in this essay.

On the one hand, travelling or working can make

students more mature in life. In other words, being in
a new place which is significantly more complex than
schools can teach students how to treat people well
Commented [MOU22]: Hoặc dùng từ respond
and behave quickly in different situations. Moreover,
when travelling and working, students are exposed
to a new mindset, as a result, they can perceive
valuable experience and lessons. For example,
pursuing knowledege of food cannot make a student
become a good cook, consequently, he or she needs Commented [MOU23]: Because

to practise cooking frequently or travel to many places

in the world to understand deeply about the recipes.
Additionally, doing short time jobs can make them
improve many skills such as problem-solving or time
management which are highly useful for their
studying or their future carrer path.

On the other hand, there are some disavantages

behind this trend. Firstly, due to the shortage of
knowledege, students may be exploited at work or
deceived into doing bad things. For example,
employers can pay them a low allowance due to the Commented [MOU24]: Their

lack of experience. Secondly, students may fail to

pursue the higher knowledge after a time of travelling
and working since they may find it hard to join in a
new community. For instance, when coming back to
the university, their old classmates have all
graduated, which may make them lose motivation in
studying.

In conclusion, I strongly affirm that travelling or

working for a short time before going to the college
can brings more benefits than drawbacks for all
reasons mentioned above.
1. Expose (v) to create conditions that allow
someone the opportunity to do, learn, or
experience something:
 expose to a new mindset to a new mindset
2. Exploit (v) to use someone or something unfairly
for your own advantage
3. Motivation (n) the need or reason for doing
something
 lose motivation
4. Allowance: money that you are given regularly,
especially to pay for a particular thing