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Glossary ................................................................................................................................................................. 58
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GENERAL PRESENTATION
WELCOME!
CONGRATULATIONS!
You are here because you have chosen to learn something new and exciting.
Each of you has his/her own motivation for this important choice.
The student mediators possess qualities which allow them to help the others:
Each of you represents one or more groups that together form a school, a meeting place for a variety
of people, personalities, cultures or ethnic groups. It is important that mediation should be centered
on this broad spectrum of school population and that is why we ask you to share some of your own
experiences or of the group you represent.
During this training, you will develop your qualities and abilities. You will learn how to help your
classmates who are in a conflict and cannot find solutions to their problems by themselves.
This process of conflict resolution is called mediation and you will learn to
be peer mediators.
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WHAT WILL YOU LEARN?
During this training, you will be actively involved in learning a lot of new things regarding the
process of mediation. Together we will learn:
What mediation is
How to understand conflict- nature, origins and types of reactions in conflictual situations
The principles of conflict resolution and reconciliation
Communication skills
The process of mediation in six steps
Mediation exercises
How the mediation programme works
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THE BASIC RULES OF THE TRAINING
You are here to learn how to be peer mediators and we expect each of you to be successful.
Mediation is an extremely effective process but which involves a high number of abilities in order to
use it as such. Moreover, mediation is a process that means an individual adaptation to one’s own
personality. The training unfolds as a practical approach, which means that you learn and practise at
the same time. You will learn to respect the actual process of mediation, at the same time being
asked to adapt it to your personality, too. Some teachers in your school know mediation techniques
but it cannot be said that they are absolute “experts”. We learn more about mediation, too
whenever we use this technique, whenever we see the others using it or whenever we train the
others for this purpose.
During this training, not only will we learn but we will also help others to learn. You will be asked
to try to intervene in a conflict, which may seem odd at first. It is important that we want to try these
new things and to help each other, too.
We must all agree from the very beginning that we will not demoralize anybody and we will not
ridicule anyone’s effort. In exchange, we will help and support each other. It is hard work but fun and
full of satisfactions. We will laugh because some things will be funny and because, from time to time,
it is necessary for us to relax. At the end of this training, you will have gained a series of abilities
which few have and you will be able to help others as conflict solver, or in other words, peer
mediator. So, during this training:
You must respect the others!
Be good listeners!
Cherish the differences! Don’t forget that each of your classmates represents a different
group and each comes with different experiences!
Cooperate and help the others!
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CONFLICT MEDIATION:DEFINITION
WHAT IS MEDIATION?
Mediation is a process of communication in which a group of people is in the situation of
solving their own conflict peacefully by and with the help of a neutral, third person,
represented by 1-2 people. These neutral people are the mediators. When the conflict
resolution takes place in school, with the help of another student, this is called peer mediation.
Mediation represents a method of solving a conflict in which the parties involved in the
conflict- the ones who do not agree with each other on a certain matter- have the chance of
speak face to face, without being interrupted, so that each point of view can be listened to.
When the problem has been identified, the opponents think of ways of solving the conflict that
should be favourable to both parties and choose a win-win solution. A written agreement is
then signed, in which both parties reach a consensus regarding their behaviour in the future.
The resolution of conflicts means cooperation and understanding. This type of mediation is based on
the principle that in order to find a constructive solution, the opponents have to do the following:
stay calm and control their anger, frustration or other strong emotions;
concentrate on the problem and not on blaming the other;
express their feelings and wishes accurately;
respect the other points of view and try to understand them;
cooperate and find solutions that will be satisfactory for both parties that are involved.
The mediator is the one who helps the parties involved in a conflict to behave in a
constructive way, following the above rules.
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UNDERSTANDING CONFLICT
WORKSHEET- DEFINING CONFLICT
Conflict Conflict
Conflict Conflict
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WORKSHEET- THE COURSE OF THE CONFLICT
For two of the following situations give an example of a conflict in which you or somebody else
were involved:
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WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT CONFLICTS
Most of us have negative ideas as far as conflicts are concerned, ideas which often create barriers
that prevent us from giving training to our desire and ability to find a resolution. People live, work
and have fun together. That is why they have to regard the conflict from the following perspective:
A
conflict is part of our daily life;
A
conflict can be perceived negatively or positively;
A
conflict can have both positive and negative results;
A
conflict can be a positive force for personal development and change of social
status.
Therefore.....
Conflicts will exist; but this does not mean that violence has to exist, too.
It does not depend on us whether we come into conflict with someone or not;
But we can choose the way in which we react in such a situation.
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WORKSHEET- REACTIONS TO CONFLICT
Tick( √ ) the boxes that best render your behaviour when you have a conflict with someone:
I complain to an adult □ □ □
I cry □ □ □
Harsh reactions
Sometimes we react to a conflict in a rough way. Have you ever:
threatened the other person?
pushed the other because you felt frustrated?
yelled or used hurtful words and then you were sorry?
hit somebody or destroyed something out of anger?
Harsh reactions displayed in a conflict involve confrontation. Confrontation, as a response, involves
anger, verbal or physical threats and aggression. It can also lead to acceptance/bribery, punishments
such as, deprivation of money, favours or affection. These actions are typical of the persons who take
the win-lose stance, of those who think that somebody has to lose.
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Reactions based on principles
The third type of reaction to conflict is the reaction based on principles. Have you ever:
listened to the other with the intention to understand his/her point of view?
cooperated with the other without giving in?
shown respect for the differences between you and another person?
looked for a solution that could be favourable to all the persons involved in the conflict?
Within a conflict, the reaction based on principles means that the people
involved have to find a solution that is satisfactory for both parties and neither
of them loses.
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THE ORIGINS OF CONFLICT
BASIC NEEDS
Choosing the way in which to resolve a conflict must begin with identifying its origins. Most of the
disputes between people start from the attempt to satisfy certain basic needs , such as affiliation,
power, liberty or good mood.
The need to belong is satisfied by developing and maintaining the relationships with
the others, which allows us to love, share and cooperate.
The need for power is satisfied by accomplishments, fulfillments, the fact of being
acknowledged and respected.
The need for liberty is satisfied by the right of making choices in life;
We may think that certain people or situations are responsible for our reactions, which is wrong. We
react in one way or another because we try to satisfy our basic needs. Here are some examples:
Let’s suppose you are upset because your friend is going to a party you have not been invited to.
You might get into conflict with your friend as your need to belong has not been satisfied.
Let’s suppose you are in a conflict with one of your parents because of the chores you have to do in
the house. The conflict may be the result of your desire to have the liberty to decide how to spend
your free time.
You may be angry with your coach as you think you deserve to stay more on the pitch and his
decision of not letting you play more makes you feel frustrated: due to your need for power- you
think he does not acknowledge your merits and, by not letting you play, you are deprived of the
chance of winning the respect of your team members and fans .
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WORKSHEET:BASIC NEEDS
MEMBERSHIP POWER
FREEDOM CHEERFULNESS
We are all born with these four basic needs. However, the way in which we satisfy
them may differ from one person to another, which sometimes leads to conflicts, either
because people try to satisfy the same needs in different ways, or because each tries to
meet another need.
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LIMITED RESOURCES
When resources are limited, conflicts may arise. Limited resources mean time, money, property or
any other combination between these. For example, two classmates are having an argument over the
topic of property, arguing which of them to use a certain book they both need to write an essay.
Think of examples of conflictual situations you have experienced and which involved limited
resources:
A
conflict because of money
A
conflict because of an object that belonged to you/to school
A
conflict because of the lack of time
We all want money, fortune or time, as we realise that these things allow us to satisfy our basic
needs. If we have money, we can do more things( freedom, entertainment, relationships). We can
buy beautiful clothes, sports equipment or audio-video items, in order to meet the need for power.
When we have a lot of time, not only can we do our work (power) but we can also go out with
friends( fun, membership, freedom).We choose the resources we need to satisfy our own basic
needs. The two students who are arguing over a book they both need to write an essay, try to satisfy
their need for power: if their essay is a good one, they will feel appreciated and more likely they will
be appreciated by the teacher and other people, too.
The basic needs which are not satisfied lead to conflicts because of the limited resources.
If the parties involved communicate, they will be able to develop a plan of cooperation and
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Each of us owns a series of characteristics that guarantee our uniqueness. We probably appreciate
some of them more while others are less appreciated. We can change some of them but others
cannot be changed. Choose the categories or fill in the blanks according to what characterizes you:
Race/Ethnicity
Afro-American
Asian-American;
European-American
Spanish-American
Native American
Others
Ability
Artistic
Leadership
mathematics
mechanical
musical
physical
verbal
Others
Culture
Family practices in:
Dressmaking
Cooking
Holidays
Foreign languages
Others
Sex
Female
Male
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Different values
We all have different values. These values are the ideas, beliefs, priorities and rules that
we follow. Differences of values may lead to conflicts.
Conflicts that involve values tend to be resolved with difficulty, due to the fact that when
the individuals’ values are different, they often perceive the dispute as a personal attack.
When a person feels attacked, he/she withdraws or attacks- and neither of these reactions
can resolve a conflict. For example, if a student who appreciates his/her friends’ sincerity,
finds out that one of them has lied to her, she will probably be very upset and angry.
Our values are deeply influenced by what we are and by our social environment. Gender,
race, social status, the ethnic group that we belong to, culture and abilities are factors that
will play an important role in establishing our own values. These differences are rendered
by terms such as, cultural diversity or social diversity, too. They also include differences
regarding religion, origin, age, sexual orientation, etc.
Values are desiderates used to guide personal actions, desiderates to which we confer the
capacity to show us the best way towards satisfying primary needs. This is either because
of some personal characteristics or because we imagine that these are superior or inferior
to other people’s characteristics.
The student who got angry with one of her friends for having lied to her, tries to satisfy
her need for affiliation but encounters difficulties in communicating and cooperating
with someone who is insincere. Her friend may also try to satisfy her need for
affiliation, but she is afraid that if she is sincere, the truth may hurt the other girl’s
feelings, who will become angry and will avoid her.
Resolving conflicts that involve different values does not mean that the opponents
have to change or adjust their values. They have to be aware of the fact that they are
different. This is often the first step towards finding a solution.
When values are expressed through some kind of behaviour that limits another
person’s rights, that conduct is wrong and school regulations should forbid it.
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Mediation can help the people involved in a conflict to adopt a correct behaviour in
this respect.
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THE DIAGRAM OF CONFLICT
THE ORIGINS OF CONFLICT
CONFLICT
PEACE is that mood that allows each individual to survive and prosper without being
obstructed by conflicts, prejudices, hate or injustice.
Bringing peace back means to respect yourself, the others and the
environment. Mediators are the ones who bring peace back and have the
necessary abilities to help others to reconcile.
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WORKSHEET: PEACE OR VIOLENCE
1. Name some types of behaviour which are displayed by the students who prefer peace to conflict.
3. Is the environment you live in becoming more peaceful or more violent? Why?
4. What influence does violence have on individuals, school, community? Give examples.
5. Why do you think that some of your classmates would agree to mediate a conflict?
6. Why do you think that some of your classmates wouldn’t agree to mediate a conflict?
• Perceptions: Every person involved in a conflict will perceive the conflict differently. To solve the
situation, it is important for everyone to understand each other's point of view.
• Emotions: People involved in the conflict are often tormented by strong feelings one towards the
other or towards the situation that led to the conflict.Expressing these emotions is important for the
full understanding of the problem. It is important that while a person expresses his emotions, the
other listens and controls his reactions.
• Communication: Solving the conflict requires that each person involved in the conflict to talk about
the conflict and listen to the other.
According to this principle, the people involved in the conflict have different ideas about what should
happen, and each one has the reasons to support his views.
• Interest: The reason why a person in conflict wants something specific or thinks that a particular
solution would solve the problem. Typically, behind each position is at least one interest. When
conflicting people provide an important place to discuss positions, a very satisfactory agreement is
rarely reached. But if the discussion focuses on interests they can often find a solution.
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Principle 3: Creating options for mutual win
According to this principle, it is better for those in conflict to try to think about solutions that could
allow everyone to win, to the detriment of a dispute about the choice of the person who has to win
and the one who has to lose or to compromise. Brainstorming is used, a process that generates
ideas without making decisions.
According to this principle, using standards allows conflicting people to reach a solution. If each party
considers the idea to be correct, then they will respect the final agreement.
WHAT COMMUNICATION IS
Communication occurs when a listener hears and understands the thoughts and feelings of the
interlocutor. Conflicts often persist because of poor communication.
Interrupt
Give advice
DON’T
Judge
Ridicule
Distract attention
Refer to your own experience
• Careful listening
• Summary
All these abilities form the concept of active listening. Its name suggests that listening should not be
passive but active and vigilant.
1. Careful listening
Listening means to use non-verbal behaviour to prove that you are interested and that you want to
understand. This non-verbal behaviour includes visual contact, face expression, gestures and body
position. It also includes interjections like "Hmm", "Aha", "OK", "Wow", etc. Usually, when you stand
in a bent position a little in front, when you smile, nod and ignore any other noise around you, we
can consider that you carefully listen to the interlocutor's words. It is important for the mediation
student to listen carefully to those involved in the conflict.
2. Summary
To summarize what you said means two things: the interlocutor to resume detraining by highlighting
the most important information and by giving up the useless information. The summary also refers to
the reflection of the feelings the two parties have in the conflict. It is very important that when you
make the summary to mention both the feelings and the facts of the situation.
To clarify a situation means to use open-ended questions or statements both to obtain additional
information and to make sure everything is understood. Here are some examples of open questions:
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How did you feel when this happened? ( question)
• What do you think prevents you from solving the problem? (question)
Open-ended questions can receive countless answers and can thus encourage
people to communicate. The answer given to a closed question provides little
information and often reduces to yes or no. The closed questions and statements
presented below tend to discourage people from continuing a discussion:
• Were you upset when this happened? (question with 'yes' or 'no' answer)
• You have been arguing for a long time. (no response needed)
• Do you think you can reach an agreement on the issue? (yes or no answer)
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THE DIAGRAM OF THE COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Speaker Interlocutor
Careful listening
(visual contact, body position, face expression, gestures, etc.)
Summary
(of facts and feelings )
Think of a conflict you have recently been involved in and talk to your mate using the reference
points in this worksheet:
7. How did the other person react? (fine, harsh or principle-based reaction)
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HANDOUT
EFFICIENT COMMUNICATION
Use this form to evaluate your communication abilities. Tick the box that best fits your behavior:
Complete the statements below with what comes first in your mind:
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THE QUALITIES OF A MEDIATOR
Impartiality
A mediator is neutral, objective and fair minded.
Empathetic listening
A mediator is able to listen with the intention of understanding what each person involved in the
conflict thinks and feels.
Respect
A mediator is able to treat both camps with respect, understanding andwithout prejudices.
Trustworthy
A mediator student attracts the confidence of those involved in the conflict by maintaining the
confidentiality of the information. He does not talk about the conflicts he mediates with other
mediators. A mediator also helps those in conflict to solve their own problem, without imposing his
solution.
A mediator is responsible for the mediation process, not the solution to the problem. The solution to
the problem is the responsibility of those in conflict who, if they are willing to cooperate, will be able
to find themselves a solution.
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GENERAL PRESENTATION
OF THE MEDIATION PROCESS
THE STAGES OF MEDIATION
By preparing yourself properly, take control of the situation and create a safe climate in which
opponents will want to communicate. Prepare yourself by arranging the physical environment and
gathering the appropriate materials
Stage 0a.Arranging the physical environment
Arrange the physical environment in a room for mediation so that no one is disadvantaged in any
way. By doing so, they will be convinced that you are impartial and consequently they will
communicate better. It is important for you to decide who and where it will stand before the parties
involved in the conflict arrive. In arranging the seats, keep in mind the following two tips:
• The opponents’ position at the table will be one in front of the other
• Your position will be at the head of the table being at an equal distance from each disputant and
closest to the exit door.
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Stage 0b. Gathering the materials
Before the session starts, have the MEDIATOR KIT at your disposal, including the following materials:
Mediation form
One of the parties involved in the conflict (or someone else, such as a teacher) can complete this
form before the mediation takes place. The form broadly presents the conflict to the mediator and
helps him plan the mediation. The mediation request can also be made verbally.
Worksheet for brainstorming
This is a sheet that the mediator writes down all the ideas for solving the conflict suggested by the
adversaries. (You can use a panel/ flipchart sheet instead of a worksheet).
• Agreement following mediation
When the disputants reach an agreement, the mediator completes this form to record in writing the
solution they have reached. This agreement is signed by both the parties involved in the conflict and
the mediator.
Pen or pencil
Marker ( for panel)
The forms you need can be found at the end part of this kit.
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SUMMARY OF THE MEDIATION PROCESS
STEP 1:THE AGREEMENT TO JOIN THE MEDIATION
Present and define mediation (We are here for………)
Present the basic mediation rules
- mediators remain neutral; they are impartial/objective/fair
- mediation is private
- the parties implied in conflict have to listen and speak in turns
- cooperation is necessary to solve the problem
STEP 2:PRESENTING THE VIEWPOINTS
Ask each disputant to present their points of view( in turn)
Listen to each disputant and make a summary of their statements
Offer each disputant the chance to clarify his/her situation
Do you have anything to add?
How did you feel at that moment?
Listen and make a summary
STEP 3: DISCUSSING THE INTERESTS
Identify each disputant’s interests. Ask:
What do you want? Why do you want it?
Listen and summarize.To clarify the situation ask:
What would happen if you didn’t reach an agreement?
What would you think if you were in the other person’s place?
What do you really want?
Summarize your interests. Say : „Your interests are ”
STEP 4: CREATING THE WIN-WIN OPTIONS
Explain the brainstorming and present its basic rules:
Write any idea going through your mind!
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The following case illustrates how the six steps of mediation help two students to reach an
agreement. In this situation, the mediation between Michael and Sandra was requested by the school
principal, Mr. Popescu.
Step 1:Agreement to participate in mediation
Mediator:Hello, my name is______________ and I am the mediator charged with leading this session
today. What is your name?
Sandra :My name is Sandra
Michael :Michael.
Mediator :Michael and Sandra, welcome to the mediation center. We're here to hold a mediation
session. Mediation is a communication process in which we will work together, cooperating to
resolve the conflict. For mediation to work, some basic rules must be followed. First of all, we will
remain neutral - we will not be on the side of anyone. Mediation is confidential - we will not talk
about your problem with other students. Each of you will have some time to say his point of view,
and when one speaks, the other will have to listen. Finally, you are asked to cooperate to solve the
problem. Sandra, do you agree to participate in mediation and follow the rules?
Sandra :Yes.
Mediator: Michael, do you agree to participate in mediation and respect the rules?
Michael :Okay.
Mediator: You felt frustrated and you threw the books in Michael. Mr. Popescu saw Michael pushing
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you and he punished him. What was in your mind when all these happened?
Sandra: I felt stupid when Michael went into trouble especially because I had started the fight. He
does not want to talk to me anymore and nothing seems to work to me.
Mediator: Sandra, you're sorry that Michael was punished and you still feel frustrated. Michael, tell
me your point of view.
Michael:Sandra is always angry with me. She tells everyone in the tennis team that I'm sick and
selfish. I missed a training and she made a tragedy of it.
Sandra: You're irresponsible. When you are late for training, when you do not mind coming at all.
Mediator: Sandra, it's Michael's turn to talk. Please do not interrupt him. Michael, you missed a
training session and Sandra was upset. Tell me more about this.
Michael :Well, we are partners at double. She's trying to take the game too seriously. She should
back down from it. She thinks that just because I'm her tennis partner, I belong to her. She's always
calling me, but I do not want to be with her all the time. I need freedom.
Mediator:Michael,do you mean you're worried about Sandra wanting more from you than being a
tennis partner?
Michael: Yes, she does not want me to talk to other girls.
Mediator: Sandra, do you have anything to add?
Sandra:Michael despises me. I just want to show him how I feel when he ignores me at the training.
Mediator: Sandra, you want Michael to understand your feelings when he does not come to training
and when he does not announce that he will not come
Sandra: . Yes, that’s what I want.
Mediator: Michael, do you have anything to add?
Michael: No.
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Step 3: Focus on interests
Mediator: Sandra, why do you think Michael does not tell you when he does not come to training?
Sandra: Well ... he probably does not want to hear me yelling and crying in front of his friends.
Mediator: Sandra, do you think yelling will make him come to the training?
Mediator: Do you want to be Sandra's friend and partner? And does it help you if you miss the
training?
Michael:No..
Mediator: Sandra,what do you want?
Sandra :I think I wanted Michael to be my boyfriend, but the more I try to do it, the worse the
situation is.
Mediator: Sandra, can you make Michael become your boyfriend?
Sandra:. No, if he doesn’t want to.
Mediator:Sandra, do you want to be Michael’s tennis partner?
Sandra: Yes.
Mediator: Do you want to be his friend?
Sandra: I think so.
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Step 4:Creating the Win-Win options
Mediator: It seems that you both want to be friends and tennis partners. Now I want you to think
aboutwhat you can do to solve the problem. We'll make a list of possible solutions using
brainstorming. The brainstorming rules are to tell all the ideas that come to your mind, including
unusual ones. Do not judge or discuss the ideas of the other and look for as many ideas as possible to
please both of you. Are you ready? What should you do to solve this problem?
win if we work harder. We need to let each other know if we need to postpone the training.
Michael :If we cancel the training after classes, we can put the ticket in the closet at noon. I think
we'll call each other if we cancel the training before the training or on Saturdays.
Sandra: It’s good.
Mediator: Can you also agree on other issues?
Sandra:I think that when we have a problem in the future, we should write to the other person a
note explaining the problem and then discussing on it.
Michael: I think it’s right.
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1. An effective debut prepares the atmosphere for the entire course of mediation. Begin by
introducing yourselves, define mediation, present the basic rules, and get a commitment from each
party involved in the conflict to participate in mediation and follow its basic rules.
2. Introduce yourselves
Introduce yourselves
"Hello! My name is and I will be your mediator. "
Ask each opponent to tell their name.
Welcome the participants.
3. Define mediation
Explain to the adversaries the mediation process in their meaning.
For example: "Mediation is a communication process through which problem people cooperate,
under the supervision of a non-partisan third person, to resolve the conflict in a peaceful manner."
4. Present the basic rules
Mediators remain impartial: "I will not be biased."
Mediation is confidential: "I will not talk about you or your problem with other students. It is OK to
tell the others that you have reached an agreement and what you have agreed, but you do not talk
about yourself and your problem."
Speak and listen to one another: "This means that while one of you speaks, the other has to obey;
each of you will be able to speak."
4. Cooperate in solving the problem: "You will do everything you can to reach a solution that will
benefit you both.
5. Get an agreement from each opponent to participate in mediation and comply with the basic
rules: "Do you agree to participate in mediation and adhere to the rules?"
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SUGGESTIONS - STEP 2: PRESENTATION OF THE POINTS OF VIEW
At this stage, you will use a range of communication skills specific to active listening - careful
listening, summarizing, clarifying the situation - to understand the situation and feelings of the
parties involved in the conflict and to help them understand how each can look at things. The
opponents can either perceive the problem in the same way or have different views (most likely)
because they perceive the issue differently, and have different ideas or suggestions on how to solve
it. At this stage of mediation, there is no attempt to reach agreement on what has happened, but
only the expression of each opponent's point of view.
1. Ask each of the parties to the conflict to state their point of view on the situation (in turns).
Please give your points of view; “Please tell what has happened?”.
Additional Questions: What did you feel about the other person?
What did you do?
Because perceptions are the
What were you thinking about at that time?
realities of your opponents,
How long have you had this problem? you do not have to worry
What do you think the problem is? about whether or not those
involved in the conflict say
What can you do now about this situation? "truth".
Has the relationship changed?
What did you like the other person to do and he/she didn’t do?
What did you want to do and you didn’t do?
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SUGGESTIONS - STEP 3: ACCESSING INTERESTS
At this stage, your goal is to look for the common interests of both opponents. Common
(compliant) interests help in creating an agreement. If the common interests are not identified, the
parties to the conflict will not be able to reach an agreement to respect. Do not go to step 4 until you
identify your interests correctly.
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SUGGESTIONS - STEP 4: CREATING WIN-WIN OPTIONS
There are many ways in which a conflict can be solved. However, when we are upset or frustrated,
we do not consider all the options. At this stage, you can help the parties involved in the conflict
create brainstorming a number of options to solve their problem.
1. Explain that brainstorming will help them find advantageous solutions for both.
2. Present the rules of brainstorming.
Say all the ideas that come to your mind.
Do not judge or discuss ideas.
Find as many ideas as possible.
Try to think of unusual ideas.
3. Tell parties involved in the conflict to think about ideas that will help both. Write your ideas on
the brainstorming worksheet.
Help questions in the brainstorming process:
What other possibilities can you think about?
In the future, what else can you do?
What should be done to resolve the conflict?
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SUGGESTIONS - STEP 5: EVALUATION OF OPTIONS
The most important task at this stage is to help the parties involved in the conflict assess and improve
the ideas they created during the brainstorming of Step 4. It is also important that they use objective
criteria when deciding whether to accept or refuse an option. This will lead to an agreement to be
respected by both parties.
1. Ask your opponents to choose ideas or portions of ideas that they agree with and which could
solve the problem. Encourage their answers on the Brainstorming Worksheet.
2. Evaluate the rounded options and think about ways to improve ideas using questions like:
Is this the right option?
Can you do this?
Do you think it will work?
Does the option refer to the interests of each of you? Or of the others?
What are the consequences of this decision?
But if one of you would…………………..? Could you……………………………….., too?
What do you want to try?
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SUGGESTIONS - STEP 6: CREATING AN AGREEMENT
At this stage, the mediator helps the parties involved in the conflict reach a viable agreement. A
viable agreement is:
• Effective: Solves the problems of each party correctly.
• Excellent for both sides, who believe that the deal is correct.
• Specific: Answer questions who, what, where, when, and how.
• Realistic: It is reasonable and can be done by both opponents.
• Balanced: Every person will be responsible for something.
1. Help the parties to create an action plan. Get concrete ideas from each: Who, what, where,
when, how ?. Ask:
• How do you want to help solve the problem?
• Is the issue solved?
• What did you agree to do?
2. Write the School Mediation Agreement. To complete it, ask each party to summarize what they
promised: "What did you agree to do?"
3. Ending the mediation:
• Check the written agreement with both sides and make the necessary changes.
• Sign and ask each party to sign.
• Thank for taking part in the mediation, congratulate everyone for the agreement, and invite them
to mediate in the future if there are new issues.
Shake hands with each other and invite the opponents to do the same.
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EXAMPLE OF MEDICAL TRAINING AGREEMENT
Date: 13/01/2019
I voluntarily participated in the mediation process. We have come to an agreement that we consider
to be fair and resolves the problem between us. In the future, if we have problems that we can not
solve by ourselves, we will agree to appeal to mediation.
Name Andrei
Name Elena - agrees to talk to the headmaster today to see
- She agrees to react calmly and not scream at if he wants to return the game to Elena
Andrei if they have any problems in the future. (gameboy)
- She agrees to talk first with Andrei to see if - If the headmaster refuses, he will ask him to
he is right without hurrying to draw keep his game, not Elena’s.
conclusions. - He agrees to give Elena his game until the
headmaster wants to return hers to her.
Signature Elena
Signature Andrei
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CO-MEDIATION EXERCISE
WHAT IS CO-MEDIATION?
In co-mediation, two mediators work in a team to facilitate the mediation process. Co-mediators
act as a single mediator and carry out this process by supporting each other. In co-mediation, team
members have two responsibilities:
- One mediator actively facilitates mediation through the six steps;
- The other team member observes the process and supports his teammate.
Supporting your teammate involves monitoring the process to ensure that the mediator remains
impartial, that he or she is making a summary of the parties' allegations, that the basic rules are
respected, and so on. Also, co-mediation requires special process-oriented attention and permanent
availability in helping your teammate get stuck. Often, the person who just observes can think more
easily about the questions that would lead to the solution, as he does not focus on what should be
done at the various stages of the mediation process.
Co-mediation works best when the two team members share responsibilities equally. One
member of the team handles Steps 1, 3 and 5 while the other observes and helps him. For Steps 2, 4
and 6, responsibilities change.
In the context of co-mediation, the two mediators must decide in advance how they will work
together. Co-mediators will decide on the following:
- Who will handle Steps 1, 3 and 5, and who of Steps 2, 4 and 6?
- How will the observer help the mediator? (How to warn him if he misses something important, how
to give him suggestions, etc.)
Do not forget: As co-mediators, your role is to help each other. Demonstrate cooperation with the
parties involved in the conflict
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TIPS FOR SCHOOL AND MEDIUM SURVEY
SCHOOL TRADERS
DO NOT FORGET!
It's not always easy to be school mediators. Mediation is always a challenge. It is important to think
positively and be optimistic, even if mediation proves to be difficult, or the end is not in line with
expectations. Do not forget, you're there just to help.
Only the parts involved in the conflict have a problem and only they can solve it.
The moments in which mediation seems difficult or frustrating can turn into moments of evolution and
change for everyone. Talk to other school mediators, other adults or other teachers, and exchange
views or feelings. Do not forget, however, that you have promised to keep confidential mediation
information and that you must respect your promise.
Encouraging others' efforts, sharing perspectives, and cooperating in problem solving, is a challenge
that stretches over your whole life. Through mutual support and respect, each of us can become
stronger and can better achieve our goals. Gandhi said, "If we really want to have peace in the world,
we have to start teaching children what cooperation means.”
Have the knowledge and skills needed to teach others what peace means by giving
them their assistance and your example
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SCHOOL MEDIATOR’S KIT
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FORM - EQUAL TO EQUAL MEDIATION REQUEST
Date
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
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SCHOOL MEDIATION AGREEMENT
Date
I participated voluntarily in mediation. We have reached an agreement that we honestly believe in and
which solves the problems between us. In the future, if we have problems that we can not solve
properly, we agree to return to mediation.
Name Name
Signature Signature
Mediator’s signature
Mediator’s signature
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SCHOOL MEDIATION CONTRACT
3. Be a responsible school mediator to lead a series of mediation sessions as needed, completing all
the necessary forms, and promoting this program.
4. Maintain satisfactory school behavior (this includes the use of mediation services for interpersonal
conflicts).
Mediator
Mediator
For each step combine the actions you have performed properly. Use an asterisk (*) for each
statement that captures a behavior that could be improved. Co-mediators complete this form
together.
STEP 1: THE MEDIA AGREEMENT
• You welcomed both people and presented yourself as a mediator.
• You explained the mediation process
• You explained the basic rules
• You asked every person, "Do you want to follow the rules?"
STEP 2: MEETING THE POINTS OF VIEW
• You asked each person to tell what was happening
• You listened, you summed up, you clarified.
STEP 3: ACCESSING INTERESTS
• You have found your real interests
• You listened, you summarized, you clarified.
• You summarized the parties' interests before proceeding to the next step.
STEP 4: CREATING WIN-WIN OPTIONS
• You explained the rules of brainstorming
• You asked for ideas to address the interests of both parties.
STEP 5: EVALUATION OF OPTIONS
• You asked the parties to combine options or parts of them
• For each option, you asked: Is he honest?
Can you implement it? Do you think it will work?
STEP 6: CREATE AN AGREEMENT
• Have you asked your opponents to make a plan of action: Who, What, When, Where, How?
• You wrote the plan.
• You asked each person to read the plan and sign the agreement.
• You have finished the session with a handshake.
OTHERS
• You have remained neutral - you have not crossed either side.
• You avoided making suggestions for solving the problem.
• If the parties did not reach an agreement, you knew what to say at the end of the session.
• You worked with the co-mediator
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Answer the following questions.
2. If you could mediate this once more, what could you do differently?
3. Have there been any more difficult steps than others? If so, what could you do to better control
them?
Comments:
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Glossary
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• active listening: the active effort made to understand the message communicated by the
interlocutor, concretises through attention, summation and clarification.
• aggression: strong action or attack.
• passive aggression: indirect expression of anger (for example, by refusal to cooperate).
• assertion: a way of expressing our needs and desires while respecting the needs and desires of
others
• choice: choice; the power to decide.
• affiliation: the feeling of being part of a group or of being in a natural association with others
(membership is one of the four primary needs).
• brainstorming: a technique that helps the parties in formulating all the answers they are able at
that time.
• kata (batna): the best alternative for a negotiation agreement, the choice to negotiate or not, and
the choice of criteria to decide whether an agreement is acceptable or not.
• behavior: act, operate, or carry you in a specific way.
• clarify: make it clearer and easier to understand.
• combine: to join, or to mix; uniting forces for a common purpose or in an alliance.
• to communicate: to express thoughts, feelings, and actions so as to be understood community: a
social group with common interfaces; similarity or identity between people.
• compromise: an agreement where the gains are disproportionate, because each party makes
concessions.
• confidential: secret; communicated to others in return for assurance that it will not be repeated.
• conflict: controversy or disagreement; entry into opposition.
• confrontation: to cope with hostility or to oppose defiance.
• consequence: what follows logically or naturally after a cause, an action.
• control: direct, guide, or influence.
• cooperation: association for a common benefit; working together to achieve a common goal.
• creating: making it exist, being the origin of something, producing something.
•criterion: standard; a basis of appreciation
•fun: pleasure, amusement, playful fun (fun is one of the four primary needs).
•cultural diversity: differences between individuals attributed to race, religion and ethnicity.
•social diversity: differences between individuals attributed to gender, sexual orientation, social
class, or physical / mental abilities.
•decrease: decrease in intensity.
•difference: the state or degree in which something is not the same as anything else is different or
opposed to something else.
•disagreement: refusal to reach agreement; difference of opinion.
•discrimination: act based on bias.
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