Reader's Digest International 2015-01 PDF

SIEGE
OF THE
POLAR
BEARS
A TOWN UNDER ATTACK
FITNESS FADS
FROM AB MACHINES TO ZUMBA
LUCK OR
MIRACLE?
3 AMAZING STORIES OF LONE SURVIVORS
CONFESSIONS OF A COP
DESMOND TUTU
ON THE POWER OF FORGIVING
A THINNER TOMORROW
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WorldMags.net
Content JANUARY 2015
True Tales
32 TREASURES, TRINKETS AND TROPHIES
S
Be it tourist tat or the prized memento of a dream
holiday, our globetrotters show off their strangest
souvenir purchases. LO U I S E WAT E R S O N
Travel
40 LESSONS EVERY TRAVELLER LEARNS
Bad food, dodgy hostels and loud sightseers, butt
also self-sufficiency, new friends and unforgettab
ble
experiences: life expands on the road.
B E N G R O U N DWAT E R F R O M W W W.T R AV E L L E R .CO M . AU
Like It Is
48 CONFESSIONS OF A COP
Chasing down bad guys and bashing in doors with
sledgehammers can be awfully good fun.
R O B E R T E VA N S F R O M W W W.C R AC K E D.CO M
Living Language
P. | 32
52 HOW TO SPELL
If you get stuck on spelling, here’s a simple guide
that will help you tackle at least a few of English’s
trickier traps. D O N YA L E H A R R I S O N
Nature
58 SIEGE OF THE POLAR BEARS
Polar bear migratory patterns have changed,
leading the endangered but dangerous predators
right through the centre of a small town.
J E F F T I E TZ F R O M M E N ’ S J O U R N A L
Exercise
66 FITNESS THROUGH THE AGES
Unearth that hot pink spandex leotard. We look at
workout trends from the shapely 1960s to the spartan
bootcamps of the 2000s and beyond. H E L E N S I G N Y P. | 66
WorldMags.net Januaryđ2015 | 1
Contents
JANUARY 2015
Inspiration
76 WHY WE FORGIVE
Drawing from his own traumatic childhood,
the highly respected churchman explains the
process of forgiveness and healing.
D E S M O N D T U T U FROM THE BOOK OF FORGIVING
Science
82 THE FUTURE JUST GOT THINNER
Meet the world’s thinnest material. It’s about
200 times stronger than steel, harder than
diamond and very, very light. And its full
possibilities are yet to be explored.
L I SA C L AU S E N FROM THE GOOD WEEKEND
Cheat Sheet
90 INSTANT ANSWERS: E-SPORTS
P. | 76 Legions of fans are packing into arenas to watch
players battle it out – and the tournaments are
becoming a global phenomenon. H A Z E L F LY N N
Who Knew?
92 FUN FACTS ABOUT COLOUR
P. | 48 Find out some fascinating details about your
favourite colour. A L I S O N C A P O R I M O
Lifestyle
96 GET COOKING
Nothing beats home cooking. But if you have
never cooked or are bored with the same old
meals, here’s how to treat your taste buds.
KAT H RY N E L L I OT T
Real-Life Dramas
102 SOLE SURVIVOR
It’s a terrifying experience: to be the only one to live
through a commercial plane crash. Three lone
survivors share their stories. J E F F W I S E
2 | Januaryđ2015 WorldMags.net
?
TION !
S I SEC TION
ONU T ED
U PRRB IN
C K O THE
NLO TO
TO U NOW
NT E
WA CRIB
S
SUB
REGULARS HUMOUR
4 Letters 46 Laughter, the Best Medicine
7 Editor’s Note 56 All in a Day’s Work
8 Staff Pick 79 Life’s Like That
10 My Story
14 Kindness of Strangers
16 Unbelievable
THE DIGEST
31 My Life 18 Health
74 Points to Ponder 23 Technology
89 Quotable Quotes 24 Food
95 That’s Outrageous 26 Home
112 Smart Animals 28 Travel
120 Puzzles, Trivia & Word Power 30 Etc
114 Books & Movies
CONTESTS
4 Caption Competition
6 Jokes and Stories
Letters
READERS’ COMMENTS AND OPINIONS
The Magic of Childhood NOSTALGIA

VIRGINIA, your little friends
the skepticism of a skeptical
see. They think that nothing
are wrong. They have been affected
age. They do not believe except
can be which is not comprehensible
by
they
CSlaus
“ There
their little minds. All minds, by
Virginia, whether they be men’s
PH OTOS GE T T Y MAGE S T H N KSTO C K

children’s, are little. In or
is a
this great
mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, universe of ours man is a
Thank you for the article, “There is a anta

less world about him, as measured as compared with the bound
by the intelligence capable
grasping the whole of truth of
and knowledge.
Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa
Claus. He exists as certainly
as love and generosity and devotion
exist, and you know that they
abound and give to your life
its highest beauty and joy.
”
How dreary would be the world Alas!
if there were no Santa Claus.
Santa Claus” (December). Francis P.

would be as dreary as if there It
were no VIRGINIAS. There would
no childlike faith then, no be
poetry, no romance to make tolerable
this existence. We should have
no enjoyment, except in sense
sight. The eternal light with and
which childhood fills the world
IN 1897, on the advice of be extinguished. would
Dear Edittor,
her father eight year old Not believe in Santa Claus!
You might as well not believe
V rginia O Hanlon wrote fairies! You might get your in
papa to hire men to watch in
Church must be saluted for answering years old Some

a short nquisitive letter chimneys on Christmas Eve to all the
catch Santa Claus, but even
I am eight
to the editor of New York s did not see Santa Claus coming if they
friends say
down, what would that prove?
sees Santa Claus, but that is Nobody
of my little
since defunct newspaper no sign that there is no Santa
Santa Claus
The most real things in the Claus.
there is no
The Sun in which she sought world are those that neither
you see it
nor men can see. Did you ever children
confirmation of Santa Claus’s see fairies dancing on the lawn?
Papa says “If
course not, but that’s no proof Of
it’s so ” Please
existence The paper’s editor that they are not there. Nobody
conceive or imagine all the wonders can
in the Sun
an eight-year-old’s earnest question

Francis P Church soon replie there are unseen and unseeable
truth, is there
in the world.
tell me the
to Virginia s letter by way of You may tear apart the baby’s
rattle
inside, but there is a veil covering and see what makes the noise
a Santa Claus?
an editorial titled “Is There a
Santa Claus?” which went on the unseen world which not the
strongest man, not even the
to become and in fact remains united strength of all the
strongest
l n
men that ever lived, could tear
ia O’Ha
apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry,
Virgin
to this day the most reprinted love, romance, can push aside
that curtain and view and picture
115 W 95th St
English language editor al in the
with grace and wisdom. He handled the

supernal beauty and glory beyond.
Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA,
history and which has since all this world there is nothing in
else real and abiding.
spawned numerous adaptations No Santa Claus! Thank GOD!
He lives, and he lives forever.
Virginia herself went on to thousand years from now, Virginia, A
nay, ten times ten thousand years
become a teacher and as a result from now, he will continue to
Virginia O’Hanlon, aged make glad the heart of childhood.
of her innocent question received six in the photograph,
an mail for much of her life She and her touching letter Francis P. Church, Editor
little girl’s innocence like a piece of

passed away in 1971 aged 81 FROM LETTERS OF NOTE AN
ECLECTIC COLLECT ON OF CORRESPONDENCE
COMP LED BY SHAUN USHER DESERV NG OF A WIDER AUDIENCE
WWW LETTERSOFNOTE COM
64 | Decemberđ2014 Decemberđ2014 | 65
delicate china. He strove to preserve all

that is good – faith, love, beauty and kindness – for as long as he could.
He was careful not to break this beautiful realm of childlike wonder, for
doing so would snuff out the purity and curiosity which is the essence
of childhood. MARY EU
Going Shopping Grammar Class

As an avid online shopper, I found I found the piece on the correct and
“The Bargain Games” (November) appropriate use of hyphens (“Hooray
really useful. I thought your advice to for Hyphens”, November) to be both
procrastinate by putting the items in important and interesting. As a
my online shopping bag particularly primary school teacher, it worries me
helpful. It gives the same satisfaction that this information often falls by
as window-shopping and allows you the wayside in a modern curriculum,
to come back and decide if you really leaving students deficient when they
need the item! MEG DUFF leave school. Additionally, I believe I
I really believe that I have WRITE TO US

“shopping-phobia”. As soon I hit the
If you are moved – or
shops, I start sweating and stressing
provoked – by any item in
out! The only solution I now have is
the magazine, write to us.
to browse the ads and if I do see Refer to page 6 for the
something I need, go to that store, editorial contact details
walk directly to the object, take it in your region.
and pay! PETRA DU PLESSIS
can speak for the masses when I say
that reading another person’s
repeated errors in punctuation and
grammar can be infuriating. Thanks
for the great article! CHRIS SUTER
A Win-Win Situation
“How to Win Almost Anything”
(September) by Sally McMullen was
very informative. It helped me to
improve my strategies for job Monkeying Around
WE ASKED YOU TO THINK UP A FUNNY
interviews and competitions. CAPTION FOR THIS PHOTO.
RAYMUND FERRER
Acting on the advice from my
Waiting for the Gift of Life dietitian, I have decided to replace
While my dad was being treated for the chip on my shoulder with a
healthier option. CINDY BRENNAN
acute kidney injury I noticed that
most patients in the nephrology ward I asked the genie for a six-figure
had a gruelling day – packed with bonanza and got a six-finger of
tests and dialysis (“One Kidney, Three bananas. LANCE ROSS
Lives”, October). Young and old, these
people were waiting in the hope of a That’s the problem with cultivating
kidney for a transplant. A.A. a Carmen Miranda hairstyle – you
moult tropical fruit. The pineapples
are a killer. LEIGH OWEN
While the new Banana Republic

knitwear logo is certainly distinctive,
it is proving to be somewhat
impractical when worn under a
jacket. MIKE BOYD
If monkeys work for peanuts, the big

WIN! apes in management must get all
the bananas. ANITA DE LANGE
PHOTOS: THIN KSTOC K
CAPTION CONTEST
Fruity Krueger is coming to get you!
Come up with the funniest
SEUGA FROST
caption for the above photo and
you could win cash. To enter, see
details on page 6. Congratulations to Cindy Brennan.
Vol. 187
CONTRIBUTE
No. 1115 FOR DIGITAL EXTRAS AND
January 2015 SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS, SEE PAGE 45.
Anecdotes and jokes

EDITORIAL Editor-in-Chief Sue Carney
Send in your real-life laugh for
Editor RD Asia Siti Rohani Design Director
John Yates Managing Editor Louise Waterson
Life’s Like That or All in a Day’s
Chief Subeditor & Production Editor Donyale Work. Got a joke? Send it in for
Harrison Deputy Chief Subeditor Melanie Egan Laughter is the Best Medicine!
Designer Luke Temby Photo Editor Judith Love Smart Animals
Digital Editor & Humour Editor Greg Barton Share antics of unique pets or
Subeditor Hannah Hempenstall Editorial
wildlife in up to 300 words.
Coordinator Sally McMullen Contributing
Editors Hazel Flynn; Helen Signy Kindness of Strangers
Share your moments of
PRODUCTION & MARKETING
Production Manager Balaji Parthsarathy
generosity in 100–500 words.
Marketing Director Jason Workman My Story
Marketing Manager Gala Mechkauskayte Do you have an inspiring or
life-changing tale to tell?
ADVERTISING Group Advertising Director, Submissions must be true,
Asia Pacific Sheron White Advertising Sales unpublished, original and
Manager Darlene Delaney 800–1000 words – see website
REGIONAL ADVERTISING CONTACTS
for more information.
Asia Kahchi Liew, liew.kahchi@rd.com
Australia Darlene Delaney, Letters to the editor and
darlene.delaney@rd.com reader submissions
New Zealand Debbie Bishop, Online
debbie@hawkhurst.co.nz Follow the “Contribute” link at the
South Africa Michéle de Chastelain, Reader’s Digest website in your region.
michele@iafrica.com
Email
PUBLISHED BY READER’S DIGEST AU: editor@readersdigest.com.au
(AUSTRALIA) PTY LTD NZ: editor@readersdigest.co.nz
Managing Director/Publisher
South Africa: editor@readersdigest.co.za
Walter Beyleveldt
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Director Lance Christie
We may edit submissions and use them
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Vice President, Chief Operating Officer, OUR PRIVACY STATEMENT
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Editor’s Note
Filling the Blank Page
AS EVERY WRITER KNOWS, whether you’re setting out on a novel,
a poem, an application for a job, a letter to a friend, or even this editor’s
note, there’s nothing so intimidating – or rich with possibility – as a blank
sheet of paper or an empty laptop screen with an impatiently flashing
cursor. You just have to begin...
As I write this, the editors here are in the midst of sorting and reading
entries in our latest 100-Word Story contest. The first year we ran this
short, short fiction competition, we held off until the closing date to begin
reading entries; now we eagerly dip into the tales as they arrive each week.
Gems go into our shortlist for the final rounds of judging this month. It’s
shaping up to be another fabulous collection, thanks to our extraordinarily
talented and creative community of readers. You are amazing!
Words and writing have the power to amuse, provoke and entice, and
we clearly see that in readers’ impassioned
responses to our Living Language feature
series. (This issue, RD’s chief subeditor
Donyale Harrison takes on the tricky topic of
troublesome spelling.) We settled on this title
for a regular section on grammar,
punctuation and spelling to flag that
P HOTOGRAP HED BY TIM BAUER
communication must change with the times,

and to welcome a hearty debate. Write in
with your views. You just have to begin.
PS E-readers will notice this month’s Digest has gone

ad-free in response to your requests for faster
downloads. Let us know what you think!
STAFF PICK
My Spelling Sins
We took the honesty test round the RD office to see who
could and couldn’t spell (see “How to Spell”, page 52). It
seems we’ve all had at least one word we struggled with …
When I was 16, I started Can anyone tell me why “vast” is such
a teeny-tiny word? It ought to be longer. At
exploring new words. I was least that is my explanation for putting a
particularly smitten with rogue e at the end of it for much of my life,
until a spellcheck program put me right.
the word erudite and made And a plea to anyone – usually a job
a big effort to use it 23 applicant – who ever dares to claim they
times in an essay on A Tale can “liaise”. It’s scary how few people get
this word right.
of Two Cities. I remember My fail-safe method for spelling: not
this point very clearly, as it sure? Use another word instead. It makes
you more creative and often there’s a
seems I’d spelled it wrong better word anyway. Sue Carney
23 times. I’d spelled it
“erodite”. I’ve never used
it since. Louise Waterson For some reason words like
license and coincidence
Not so much a spelling problem as a always trick me. I almost
typing problem but whenever I type always jumble the S’s and
freedom I always type freedome,
Healthrow instead of Heathrow and C’s up or try to add extra
prob is often porb. Hannah Hempenstall ones in! Sally McMullen
Various combinations of double letters often have me

lurching for the dictionary: misspelled, millennium,
Philippines, and colosseum. Melanie Egan
When I was about nine, Mine is accomo... acommo...
I remember walking accommodation! I never know
into the classroom and how many c’s and m’s belong
staring at the spelling in there so I depend on a
words on the blackboard, spellchecker to let me know.
And for someone who likes
completely perplexed by
to make precise lists of travel
“headache”. Couldn’t for plans which require that
the life of me understand word, it can be quite
what a hedaitch was! frustrating. So
To this day, I can’t I shorten it to
spell parsley. “accom” so
I always type I don’t get driven
parsely, which is a crazy. Also,
problem when you have calendar vs
worked on as many calender. I need to
recipes as I have during empty my mind of any
my time as a subeditor! distractions before
Artemis Gouros that one comes out
right. Siti Rohani
For me, it’s “restaurant”. I always end

up putting the u after the second a, as
that’s how the word sounds to me –
“res-star-raunt”. Even typing this out
I had to use a spellchecker to make
sure I’d done it properly! Tom Goodwin
Austria: I can spell it perfectly well, but

after typing Australia a million or so
times, I can’t type Austria without
enormous concentration!
P HOTO: THI NKSTOCK
I was going to say necessarily, because

I had a horrible time with it growing up,
but apparently if you spend 40 years
looking up a word, you do eventually
learn how to spell it… Donyale Harrison
WorldMags.net
MY STORY
As families left their homes in India, friendships were

torn apart, but some had help to carry things through
Postcard from
Pakistan BY PARVE Z AND REWS
Colonel IT WAS THE SUMMER of July 1947. As the excitement of

(Retired) Independence drew near, countless Indians were also facing
PARVEZ
the dreadful consequences of Partition. In what was to become
ANDREWS , 76,
worked in the one of history’s greatest human migrations, innumerable
corporate world Muslims started moving to the newly carved-out Pakistan, just
after he left the as Hindus were doing – in the opposite direction. En route,
Indian Army in innocent men, women and children were ruthlessly attacked
1987. He now
and killed by frenzied fanatics from both sides. Communal
lives in Kolkata.
violence had reached unfathomable levels.
A nine-year-old boy then, I lived with my mother, three
sisters and younger brother in Jalandhar, not far from the
border. My dad, who was with the Provincial Civil Service, had
recently been posted to Lahore, near his hometown. When he
was with us in Jalandhar, there was a tall, well-built,
moustached employee in his office called Mohammed Ali. This
is my memory of Ali and how I learnt about unfailing bonds,
regardless of the faiths people may profess. It made me realise
that, even if politicians create wars and divisions, ordinary
citizens want peace, trust and goodwill.
Our home in Jalandhar, a bungalow with a boundary wall,
was on the historic Grand Trunk Road that runs across
10 | January 2015 WorldMags.net

friend turning foe. We
wondered if these
travellers would ever
reach Pakistan safely.
Indeed, mere survival
in those times had
become a privilege.
ONE MORNING
Mohammed Ali,
dressed in a white
Pathani salwar-kameez
(traditional tunic and
pants), came rushing
to our house. He
looked worried. In his
hand was an Ovaltine
tin. I’d always known
Ali, who had two little
northern India into Pakistan and daughters, and we all liked him very
beyond. Seated on the wall, I watched much. “I’ve come to say goodbye to
as bullock carts filled with migrating all of you,” Ali said. “I too am going
Muslims moved westwards. They took across the border with my family to
along whatever worldly possessions seek our destiny.” His eyes grew
they could manage, including moist as he reflected on whether we
livestock. Plucked ruthlessly from would ever meet again. He put the
I ILLUSTRATION : KUNA L BELLE
their roots, they were leaving with no Ovaltine can down and hugged all
hope of ever returning. The carts five of us children.
moved closely in line, providing some What attracted my attention was
brittle security in their togetherness. the tin’s lid. It was roughly, yet
Although ours was a Christian family firmly, sealed with a brownish paste
and moving to either side wasn’t on that looked like atta (dough). After
our agenda, we could understand the tearfully bidding my mother farewell
heart-wrenching reality of parting, of with his salaams, he hurriedly thrust
WorldMags.net January 2015 | 11

P O S T C A R D F R O M PA K I S TA N
the tin into her hands. “Keep this! family was relaxing in cane chairs on
I have to join my family waiting in the our lawn. Just then our bungalow’s
cart.” Saying so, he rushed out. iron gate swung open and a tonga
We stood there waving our (carriage) drove in. The horse
goodbyes. After a while, we all stared stopped and as the dust settled, a
at the Ovaltine tin. Wondering what it neatly dressed gentleman alighted.
contained, Mummy He wore a kulledar
carefully opened its pagri, a colourful fan-
sealed lid. My guess was It was such a turban, which signified
that it would be filled solemn secret, prosperity. We looked at
with homemade sweets, each other. It took a few
a parting gift from we never spoke seconds for us to
Daddy’s loyal staff of it even among recognise our cheerful
member. But our ourselves ... In unexpected guest. It was
expectation soon turned time, I almost Mohammed Ali!
to amazement and He hugged each of us
disbelief. The tin was forgot about it and sat down to chat. Ali
stuffed with gold recalled his safe trip to
jewellery, some of it Pakistan in 1947, the
inlaid with precious stones! good old days, even the bad old days,
The truth soon dawned on our and caught up with the past six years.
mother. It was Ali’s family jewellery – Ali and our parents even discussed
the collection of a lifetime, heirlooms the prospect of India and Pakistan
perhaps. Mother sat down, emptied joining back once again. Anyway, Ali
the contents on to a bed and had settled down well to a new life.
inspected it. After that, still puzzled, He was now an upper division clerk
she returned every piece to the tin in a Pakistani government office.
and re-sealed it with dough from her Soon it was time for Ali to leave and
kitchen. Then, after hiding it in her he was once again saying goodbye to
cupboard, she told each one of us not each of us. Strangely, there was no
to mention a word about it to mention of the Ovaltine tin he’d left
anybody. We obeyed – it was such a behind, or of its contents. He’d
solemn secret, we never spoke of it returned to the tonga when Mummy
even among ourselves. As the years stepped forward. “Mohammed Ali!”
went by, I almost forgot about it. she cried, “haven’t you forgotten
something?”
MEANWHILE, we moved to Ambala “No, Memsahib, I have not left
Cantonment. It was a summer anything behind.”
evening in 1953 when the entire “Wait,” said Mummy as she went

READER’S DIGEST
into our house and returned with the It was a most sentimental scene. It
old Ovaltine tin, its atta seal still required a lot of forcing and cajoling
intact. She smiled and went up to Ali on the part of my father and mother
saying, “Take this. You had left it before Mohammed Ali reluctantly
with me when you were leaving for took the tin back.
Pakistan. I have kept it safely all “I only hope that the customs
these years for you.” officials at the border do not confiscate
Just then, most unexpectedly, your tin,” said Daddy. “Be careful.”
Ali broke down and started crying. “Insha-allah, God willing, it will
“I didn’t come for this,” he said, reach my wife,” said Ali. “You have
regaining his composure. “I was in kept it safely all these years, and now
Jalandhar and came to know that no-one can take it away.”
Sahib and his family were here in “Please write us a letter when you
Ambala. I just wanted to see you all. reach home,” said Mummy. Ali agreed
I cannot take back something I had and left with tears in his eyes.
gifted you. Had we taken it with us, Two weeks later, a postcard arrived
we might have been looted and with a Pakistani stamp. Its cryptic
harmed on the way. We would have message read: “The sweets you gave
lost it – along with our lives, who have reached my wife and daughters.
knows! This was for your three God bless!”
daughters who are like my own girls.
Do you have a tale to tell?
Don’t misunderstand me, I have We’ll pay cash for any original
come this evening to meet you all and unpublished story we print.
and not for any ornaments, which See page 6 for details on how
are yours now.” to contribute.
STARTING A NEW JOB IS NEVER EASY
I accidentally pressed the panic button and summoned an armed

response police team in my first week of training in a new job.
First day of working as a cashier, I put the wrong code in for

a voucher, giving the customer £3,000,000,000 credit.
First job, first week, I refused to let a “strange man” into the shop
before opening time. He was the regional manager.
@RHODRI

THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS
I can tell you this: you can change

someone’s life just by lifting her suitcase
Sharing the Burden

BY HIL A RY PA R K I N S O N FR O M Q U E ST FO R K I N D N E SS
I WAS ONLY THREE DAYS into uncle when they said I’d ruined the
a graduate year in England, and relationship between themselves and
I was dragging a heavy backpack my family. Today, as a 38-year-old,
and suitcase through the London I know this was ridiculous. Their
Underground. I was also crying reaction was all out of proportion.
uncontrollably. As I struggled to But at the time, it was as if I had
I LLUSTRATI ON: GREGOIRE M AHLER/FI GAROPH OTO/CONTOUR STYLE

get the suitcase up another flight of razed everything my family had built.
steps, I was struggling to understand When I left the phone booth,
how my life had fallen apart. I went back to a silent house with
The day before, my uncle had three closed bedroom doors. I did
informed me that I was never to not sleep. In the morning, I heard
speak to him, his wife, or my two everyone get up and leave; no-one
cousins again. Earlier, I had made knocked on my door. When it was
a silly, joking remark. It was never quiet, I wrote a note of apology
meant to hurt my aunt’s feelings, and left it in my uncle’s bedroom.
P HOTO: (WOM AN) GETTY IM AGES
but it did. I spent the evening in I dragged my bags the kilometre to

a telephone booth, weeping as the train station. When I got into
I spoke to a family friend who London, I had to take the Tube to
lived in England. the Angel underground station to
The most foolish part was that get to my family friend’s house.
I did not immediately call my I was familiar with the Tube, but
parents. As a 22-year-old who had at the time, it was a tube of endless
been raised to respect and trust white tiles. I was exhausted. Coming
adults, I believed my aunt and to England seemed like a bad
hand looked different, that many
different people helped me, without
asking or saying anything. They just
helped, right up to the top of the last
flight of stairs. I couldn’t look up.
I wasn’t able to say thank you.
I went on to have an amazing year
studying in England, and I made some
friendships that continue to sustain
decision. Worst of all, no lifts were me. But that was the last time I saw
working. Crying yet again, I tried to lift or spoke to any of those four family
my suitcase up the stairs. members. Yet when I think about that
Suddenly in my slog there were terrible loss in 1998, I remember those
hands. No-one said anything, but strangers’ hands. They were there
each time I faced another set of steps, when I needed them, and even now,
a hand would grip the suitcase handle they pull me through the sadness
and lift it. At the top of the steps, the of that memory. I think of them as
hand would let go, and I’d pull the I ride the Metro in Washington today,
suitcase to the next set. And just as and I watch the commuters and
I was about to struggle again, another tourists surge by, just in case someone
hand would materialise. needs a hand.
It happened several times. I never
Share your story about the kindness
looked up, because I could not stop of strangers and win cash. Turn to page
crying. I do remember thinking 6 for details on how to contribute to
through the haze of grief that each the magazine.
© 2010 BY HILARY PARKINSON. FROM: QUEST FOR KINDNESS. POSTED ON JULY 22, 2010. ALICIABESSETTE.COM.
Unbelievable
TRUE TALES TOLD TALL
Clothes-minded
Don’t be a fashion victim, advises a sartorial Nury Vittachi
I LLUSTRATI ON: AN DREW JOYNER
MANKIND IS SLEEPWALKING wearing orange-and-brown tartan

towards a global catastrophe, golf trousers in public, in full view
unwilling to take action to avert of frail, impressionistic minds such
impending doom. I am talking, of as those belonging to small children
course, about the worldwide and politicians.
epidemic of poor clothing choices. When I expressed shock about this
On the morning of writing this at work, a colleague showed me a
story, I saw a number of people (two) news report illustrating the incredible
power of bad clothing. A grown man function wearing a mandarin-collar
wearing an ankle-length leopard-print shirt and a Nehru suit. As I walked
dress walked into a bank in the US through the hotel restaurant,
state of New Hampshire and handed everyone kept trying to press money
the teller a note demanding money. and credit cards into my hand,
The man did not brandish a weapon, thinking I was the waiter. I seriously
nor claim to have one. But the terrified considered standing in the restroom
teller handed over the money, which for half an hour to collect tips.
the robber grabbed before escaping. It’s also come to my attention that
The teller did the right bulk buying your clothes
thing. Anyone with a may lead to problems
dress sense that bad can with quality. A division
be extremely dangerous. In London, the of the Chinese army
I used to work with a current fashion recently appeared in
punk rock fashion victim (and when I say public wearing new
who once turned up with uniforms, according to
her buttons fastened
current, I mean a news report sent to me
out of alignment. When for the past by a reader. When the
I pointed this out, she 40 years) is to men were ordered to sit
snarled: “It’s fashion, dress like a down, more than 100
look it up.” I did look it
up. It wasn’t fashion. But
homeless person pairs of trousers
simultaneously tore,
I soon realised that this bringing about new
line is useful for covering all acts of meaning to the term “let rip”. You
sartorial stupidity. ME: “I think you sat could hear them tear, the paper
on a 2kg lemon cheesecake and most reported. I’m SO glad I wasn’t there,
of it is still attached to your nether as I would have laughed out loud –
region.” HER: “It’s fashion, look it up.” not a good idea when you’re facing
In London, the current fashion (and a group of angry men. What the
when I say current, I mean for the past commanding officer should have
40 years) is to dress like a homeless done, of course, was to use the magic
person. This makes things tough for phrase: “It’s fashion, look it up.”
people like me, visiting from Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m low on
conservative Asia. You meet someone cash and might just hang out in the
and you never know whether to give gentlemen’s room in the hotel next
him your business card or drop small door for a while. Towel, sir?
change into his coffee mug.
Over-dressing can be problematic Nury Vittachi is a Hong Kong-based
too. I once turned up at a fancy hotel author. Read his blog at Mrjam.org
THE DIGEST
HEALTH
HOT TOPIC
Q: What Started the Myth of

Vaccines Causing Autism?
A : The possibility that vaccines
might be linked to autism was
first published in 1998 in the Lancet,
absolutely no link has been found.
Studies involving hundreds of
thousands of children have now been
a well-respected medical journal. conducted – and have discredited
The paper looked at 12 children with any connection. Ten of the 12 doctors
developmental problems who had involved in the original Lancet
been vaccinated with the measles, publication have retracted it. The
mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine, lead author has been discredited and
some of whom had autism. It wasn’t struck off the medical register.
a clinical study, merely a report of the
cases. However, this was picked up by SO, THERE’S NOTHING TO WORRY
the media and the subsequent furore ABOUT? The risks of complications
caused many parents to assume there from childhood diseases are very real
was a link. and should be of far more concern
to a parent than the entirely false
WHAT’S THE TRUTH? association between vaccines
Since then, extensive and autism. The simple truth
further research is that vaccines save lives,
has been done and while fear of vaccines results
P HOTOS: THINKSTOCK
in the chance of children

getting infections with
potentially crippling or even
fatal results.

Ways to improve your mental performance
3 Tricks for a Better Memory

1 Use it or lose it. The brain functions like a muscle – the more you use it,
the stronger it gets. Learning new things, varying your routine, having
heated debates, going on trips and playing an instrument all help your brain to
make new connections and function better.
2 Eat healthy carbohydrates to boost brain cells. A Canadian study found

that older people whose diets contained the greatest percentage of
kilojoules as carbohydrates did best on memory and task tests. However, make
sure you’re getting these carbohydrates from fruits, vegetables and wholegrains
– these release glucose to the brain gradually. Sugary cakes or ice-cream
may provide a quick fix, but are often followed by a slump and loss of
concentration. Eating oil-rich fish once a week will also help the grey matter.
3 Develop strategies. Counter senior or fuzzy moments

by doing one thing at a time – research finds that
multitasking hinders memory and concentration. Stop for
a second after an introduction and repeat the person’s name out
loud. Read or work in a quiet room – noise exposure can slow
your ability to rehearse things in your mind, a way of
building memory.
“WHAT THE HECK IS HIS NAME?”

Pay attention. When you’re introduced to
someone, really listen to the person’s name.
Then, to get a better grasp, picture the spelling.
Ask, “Is that Kathy with a K or a C?” Make a
remark about the name to help lock it in (“Oh,
Laura – that was my childhood best friend’s
name”), and use the name a few times during
the conversation and when you say goodbye.

HEALTH
DIY CHECK
Eyes Right
They’re more than
a window to your soul,
so look after them
Changes to the appearance of your BULGING EYES
eyes can be the first sign of underlying Are a common symptom of Grave’s
health conditions. If you spot these disease, more commonly known as
changes, tell your GP. hyperthyroidism, or an overactive
thyroid. The medical name for the
SOFT, YELLOW SPOTS ON EYELIDS condition is exophthalmos. In
Patients with these cholesterol-filled addition to the bulging-eyed look,
lesions, called xanthelasma, may have people with Grave’s often experience
a higher risk of heart disease. A 2011 weight loss, nervousness, and a rapid
Danish study of nearly 13,000 patients or irregular pulse. Grave’s disease is
found that about 4% had the spots more common in women.
and that those patients were nearly
70% more likely to develop hardening GREY RING
of the arteries and almost 50% more If you have a history of heart
likely to have a heart attack over the conditions in your family, then the
next few decades than patients appearance of a thin grey ring around
without them. the edge of the cornea should send a
warning. The ring, referred to as
EYE BAGS AND PUFFINESS arcus senilis, can be a sign of high
P HOTOS: THINKSTOCK
Tired-looking eyes could be a red cholesterol and triglycerides, as well

flag for chronic allergies, which dilate as an increased risk for heart attack
blood vessels and cause them to leak. and stroke. If a grey ring develops,
In the sensitive skin under your eyes, your doctor will test for elevated
this creates puffiness and a dark blood lipids. The condition is more
purple-blue hue. prevalent among the over-60s.

NEWS FROM THE
World of Medicine
Long-term Weight Gain and Acidic Sports Drinks
Breast Cancer Damage Athlete’s Teeth
A recent study has found that an Sports drinks are taking their toll on
increase in skirt size can up the risk athletes’ teeth, according to a report
of developing breast cancer in published in the British Journal of
postmenopausal women. Conducted Sports Medicine. The UK and US
by academics at the University dental health, sports and exercise
College, London and published in medicine experts point out that
the BMJ Open journal, the study dental consultations accounted for
looked at the records of 93,000 almost a third of all medical visits at
women aged in their 50s and 60s who the 2012 London Olympics. The
had been through menopause. evidence showed that poor dental
health, including tooth decay, gum
It found that jumping one skirt size disease, enamel erosion and
every ten years between the ages of infected wisdom teeth, was
25 and 65 increased the risk by 33%. widespread.
An expanding
waistline is known Researchers suggest
to boost oestrogen, the prevalence of poor
on which many dental health among
breast cancer cells athletes was due to
rely for fuel. After the high number
taking account of acidic sports
of other factors, drinks (in addition
such as infertility to a high-carb diet)
treatment, family they consume
history, and use of during training and
HRT, increases in performance, the
skirt size emerged impact of which is
as the strongest likely to be worsened
predictor of breast by a dry mouth
cancer risk. during competition.

HEALTH
What’s All the Fuss

about Spirulina?
TRENDING BY H E LE N S IGNY
WHAT IS IT?
This blue-green algae grows in
freshwater ponds and lakes and is
considered a genuine superfood.
Used for centuries as a dietary
supplement, it’s been taken to space
by NASA astronauts, is purported to allergic to seafood or seaweed, or have
have kept some Japanese elders alive a temperature, avoid taking spirulina.
for decades, and is even being fed to Most of us, though, are very unlikely
livestock in Tasmania to improve the to experience unpleasant side effects,
quality of their meat and milk. regardless of how much we eat.
WHY THE HYPE? WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS?

This natural, spiral-shaped algae The main advantage of boosting
contains more than 100 nutrients. It nutrition is beefing up the immune
has more vegetable protein than fish system. There is some scientific
or beef, very high concentrations of evidence that spirulina can do this,
vitamins, especially B1 and B2, and as well as protecting against allergic
a wide range of minerals including reactions and viruses. But more
iron, potassium, magnesium, sodium research is needed before any of these
and zinc. advantages are conclusively proven.
WHO IS IT GOOD FOR? WHERE DO I GET IT?

Spirulina can benefit anyone who Spirulina comes in a tablet or a
P HOTO: THI NKSTOCK
needs extra nutrition, including powder that you can sprinkle onto
picky eaters, seniors and pregnant a smoothie or salad. Like any algae,
women. It’s also good for vegetarians spirulina sucks up toxic substances
and athletes who need to keep up or heavy metals present in the water
their energy levels. But if you have where it grows, so it’s important to buy
hyperparathyroidism, are seriously your supply from a trusted source.

TECHNOLOGY
Get a Computer Speed Boost

Technology isn’t supposed to make things slower. Try these simple tricks to
free up the time you spend parked in front of a computer screen:
1 Get rid of “bloatware”. Uninstall

items associated with preinstalled
software you never use – and your PC
3 Decipher your error messages.
You don’t need a computer
manual, writes David Pogue in the
or Mac will run faster, claims Popular New York Times. Simply type the error
Science. It’s simple: if you’re a Mac message or problem into your search
user, go to www.macpaw.com and engine, and you’ll find out what’s
click on Free Download. If you have wrong and how to fix it.
a PC, go to www.tweaknow.com.
2 Don’t print the confirmation page

when you shop online. Instead, on
4 Shrink your digital photographs.
Images taken with digital cameras
eat up heaps of space and, if you send
your Mac, choose Print from the Safari them, are annoying and slow for others
toolbar, then from the PDF pop-up to open. Technology blogger Aseem
menu choose Save PDF to Web Kishore suggests chopping them down
Receipts Folder. You’ll have a record in to a manageable size by following the
an easy-to-find folder. prompts at www.makeathumbnail.com.
SIMPLER MOBILE PHONES

Not everyone needs a mobile phone loaded
P HOTO: THI NKSTOCK; SUPP LIED
with the latest features and functions. In fact,

many users just want a reliable mobile that
makes and receives calls, is easy to operate, and
can be pre-programmed with numbers for
family, friends and emergency contacts. Now
several manufacturers, such as Australia-based KISA and Swedish company
Doro, are making basic models that have large buttons, are easy to read, and can
be mastered by users of any age. If you can use a regular home phone, you can
manage one of these. Ask your local telcos about basic models available locally.
FOOD
Busting the Comfort

Food Myth
Here’s another reason to stick to that a questionnaire designed to
healthy diet sitting at the top of your determine their mood, participants
New Year’s resolutions list. Whether were given a generous helping
it’s chocolate or pasta, we all have of their chosen comfort food
comfort foods. But a 2014 study (chocolate, ice-cream and cookies
conducted by psychologists at the were the three most popular). At the
University of Minnesota revealed other, the participants were given
that comfort foods are no more one of the non-comfort foods they
effective at mood alleviation than enjoyed, such as almonds, cashews
any other meal – or even sitting or a granola bar, which served
quietly without eating at all. as a neutral food. Or they were
given nothing at all, meaning
The experiment began with an they sat in silence for three
introductory session where minutes. Afterwards, each
participants were asked to list participant filled out the mood
their comfort foods as well as questionnaire for a second time.
foods they enjoyed in general.
Then, during two sessions The study concluded that the
scheduled at least one participant’s moods improved
week apart, the group of to the same extent regardless of
100 students watched which type of food they ate, how
18-minute videos much they ate or whether they
composed of film clips ate at all.
found to elicit feelings In other words, we’ve just lost
of anger, fear, anxiety another excuse for eating junk.
or sadness. Although this may cause distress,
At one take comfort in knowing that
session, the feeling will pass – with
after or without the help of your
completing favourite chocolate bar.
Learn some new
kitchen tricks
How to Make Simple

Cooking Simpler
■ PRESS GARLIC A traditional garlic ■ PEEL AN APPLE Peeling a stack of
press can create quite a mess – all those apples for a pie can take less time with
corners, all that tricky cleaning up. this trick: peel around the top and
Men’s Journal suggests trading it for a bottom of an apple in a circle, leaving
more efficient rocker-shaped model, the centre intact, says Amy Traverso,
which uses a back-and-forth motion to author of The Apple Lover’s
mince garlic by forcing it through a Cookbook. Then peel the centre in a
series of holes. Rinse and rejoice. top-to-bottom motion, turning the
fruit as you go. Works
■ BAKE A POTATO For a perfect for pears and stone
PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES; THINKSTOCK; (PRESS) COURTESY JOSEPH JOSEPH
potato, bake it in a salt bed, says fruit, too.

Cook’s Illustrated magazine. Spread
a layer of salt in a baking dish and top ■ DRESS UP
with whole, unpeeled potatoes. MAYONNAISE If
Surround the potatoes with sprigs of plain old store-
rosemary and add an entire head of bought mayo
garlic with the top cut off. Cover with isn’t doing your
foil and bake for 1¼ hours at 230°C. sandwich justice,
Then remove the foil and give your mayonnaise
garlic, brush oil on a makeover. Whisk in fresh basil or
each potato and thyme, dried herb mixes, lemon or
bake uncovered at lime juice, or condiments such as
260°C for an wasabi or chilli sauce.
additional 15
minutes. To serve, top ■ SERVE ICE Replace your ice
potatoes with the bucket with a colander. Real Simple
roasted garlic, butter, suggests placing an ice-filled
etc. The result: colander in a bowl or vase. Water will
potatoes that drain as the ice melts, leaving
are tender only cubes for your guests to
outside and use in their drinks. Don’t
fluffy inside. forget the tongs!
HOME
Spic and Span

Cleaning tips you probably haven’t heard before
The holiday season has come and
gone ... and left a mess behind. Get
ready for the New Year with our
4 Don’t vacuum your bathroom
mats. You’ll save time and
achieve a better clean by tossing them
cleaning secrets. into the wash once a week.
1 The best way to dust blinds? Close

them, then wipe up and down with
an old tumble dryer sheet. It’ll
5 It’s best to mop wooden floors
with plain water or a water-based
floor cleaner. Don’t use vinegar. The
create an antistatic barrier that acid in it will pit your polyurethane
helps prevent dust from finish, can void your warranty, and
building up again. may reduce shine over time.
2 Vinegar and water is a

great deodoriser for a
musty bathroom. Spray
6 To clean a microwave oven,
microwave a cup of water with
some bicarbonate of soda in it until
your shower down as it’s boiling. This eliminates odours
To mop
you’re getting out. It and makes it super easy to wipe away
wood
floors,
really absorbs the all the sticky leftovers.
use plain
water or
a water-
odours, and the smell of
vinegar goes away in
an hour.
7 Clean up hard-to-reach cobwebs
with a long measuring rod
covered by a sock.
based
3Spray glass with
8 Use lemon oil on a sponge to
P HOTOS:THI NKSTOCK, GETTYIM AGES
cleaner white vinegar wipe bathroom tiles after you

diluted in water, have cleaned them. This will help
then wipe off with bring out the shine and will also
newspaper for a prevent the build up of mould.
streak-free shine.
9 To eliminate that toilet ring, you
can drop in a denture-cleaning
tablet and leave it for at least
30 minutes or overnight. The stain will
come off with just a few swishes of the
brush. From What You Don’t Know About Your Home
Clever Storage Spaces …
You Already Had
Make the most of your unused or awkward areas
WALLS OFTEN GO UNUSED Make pre-built shelving units. Many are

them earn their place by installing designed to fit along the inside of
shelves to store items you’d usually doors and will give you plenty of
keep on the kitchen counter or added storage space.
bedside table.
HANG IT! By installing hooks in the
ABOVE EYE LEVEL Items you use space under cabinets you can free up
only rarely, but enjoy having out on space inside of them. Think wine
display, can be placed on the top of glasses and coffee mugs. Storage
high kitchen cabinets, bookcases and stores sell the racks used by bars to
other tall furniture. hang wine glasses by their stems.
From www.huffingtonpost.com and Home Hints & Tips
DOUBLE YOUR SHELVING SPACE

Don’t forget the inside of your cabinet
and wardrobe doors. Simply hammer
in some hooks, baskets or even
shelves to store jewellery, socks,
make-up, bottled herbs, stationery.
TURN DOORS INTO STORAGE

Replace pantry or laundry room
doors with reclaimed wooden
shutters, available for reasonable
prices at most hardware resale stores
and charity shops. Not only will the
wooden shutters look great, you can
use the other side to hang items – like
kitchen utensils or knickknacks – out
of sight. If you don’t want to swap out
your doors, you can instead add extra
TRAVEL
Ten cheap things that you can’t camp without
Tent Commandments
1. Rubber bands: when you’re You’ll be amazed at how much water
travelling on rough roads anything you save.
that can pop open, unwind or unravel 5. Foam mats: slide these under the
will. Almost everything in your food tent floor to protect your feet from
box and many other essentials, rocky ground or use them as a
including the toilet paper roll, should shower floor when bush camping.
have a rubber band around it. 6. Wet wipes: perfect for clean-ups
2. Sandwich bags: store your food, on the go. They are also handy for
leftovers and anything that might cleaning up picnic lunch utensils.
spill or shake open in a resealable 7. Pegs: aside from pegging up wet
sandwich bag. They occupy less clothes, they are also great for
room than plastic containers and securing items around the campsite.
protect against spills. 8. Bungee cords: these stretchy
3. Doormat: a door mat outside the elastic ropes with hooks at each end
tent or caravan door can make camp can help tie down your tent in a
life much simpler and cleaner, windstorm, secure items in the back
especially if you’re camping near of the car or on the roof rack and be
the beach or in the bush. strung together to form a clothes line.
4. Refillable spray bottle: 9. Gaffer tape: there’s not
water is often a much that can’t be fixed or
scarce held firmly in place with
commodity some gaffer tape.
while camping. 10. Soft-sided bucket:
Keep a spray they make great
P HOTO: THI NKSTOCK
bottle of camp kitchen sinks

water for and are light and
quick clean- easy to carry even
ups and when full.
hand FROM NOBLE
washing. WORDS
Strategies to Save
Money at Airports
Going on holiday can be an expensive business, so the last thing you want to
do is spend a fortune at the airport. Here are some ideas for saving money
before you jet off.
BOOK A FIRST-CLASS LOUNGE without having to splash out on over-

It might sound counter-intuitive, but priced drinks. You can get collapsible
some airlines in certain countries water bottles that can be used over
allow you to pay for a first-class and again, and that pack neatly away
lounge without being a frequent flyer if necessary for security screening.
member or first-class traveller. Prices
vary between airports, but for adults TAKE ADVANTAGE OF AIRPORT
it’s usually around US$20 or under, DISCOUNT CODES Many airports
US$15 or under for children, and free have special offers and deals on
for infants. This covers the cost of a products and meals, so remember to
comfy room to wait in as well as food check the website of the airport you’re
and drinks. If you were planning on travelling from to see what’s available.
eating at the airport anyway, this way
could work out cheaper. Plus it keeps ORIENTATE YOURSELF If you’re
you away from the duty-free shops. going to a new airport, find out
where everything is before you
BOOK AHEAD FOR PARKING arrive. Look up your airport’s website
Turning up on the day to park will and see what information they have
mean paying the maximum price. about the buildings, shops, amenities
PHOTO: THI NKSTOCK
Instead, book in advance online. and transport. Some airports run

cheap or free shuttles in and out of
TAKE AN EMPTY WATER BOTTLE town. The more prepared you are,
Fill it up at a water fountain in the the less likely you’ll need to spend
airport – this will keep you hydrated money unnecessarily.
ETC
A smiley was just the thing to temper the bickering online
The First Emoticon

BY PAG A N K E N N E DY
“The first line of my obituary is going Once he found the colon, the rest
to mention the smiley face,” says Scott was easy. And as the web expanded
Fahlman, who would rather be in the ’90s, so, too, did the colon-
remembered for his research into hyphen-parenthesis. “Wherever the
artificial intelligence. But like it or internet went, the smiley face was
not, Fahlman has become famous for there within weeks,” Fahlman says.
three keystrokes. In 1982, a young The symbol has endured because it’s
professor at Carnegie Mellon a quick way to soothe hurt feelings
University in Pittsburgh, he realised or express joy. But Fahlman still
the need for a symbol to temper the hears complaints that it is a hallmark
bickering that plagued online forums. of lazy writing. His critics raise
The internet was just a questions like “Would
baby then, and yet Shakespeare have
A UNIVERSAL
already flame wars used a smiley face?”
LANGUAGE?
raged. Fahlman Yes, Fahlman says,
decided that a smiley Western-style emoticons often if Shakespeare were
face could be useful as read as “sideways faces”. The around today, thumb-
a “joke marker” (as he Japanese, meanwhile, have tapping a screed
kaomoji or face marks.
called it) to take the “about parking at the
;_; >_<
sting out of mocking Globe Theatre, he
Crying ^_- Ouch!
statements. And so he might say something
Winking
hunted around the =_= 9_9 intemperate. And then
keyboard for a way to Bored Tired he might think twice
make the face. “But d(-_-)b m(_ _)m about it and want to
what do you use for Wearing Bowing down use an emoticon.”
eyes?” he wondered. headphones in apology From the New York Times
MY LIFE
In 2015, I Will…
BY A N N E R O U M A N O F F
Q I will buy running gear to join my girlfriends who go

jogging. To actually start jogging I’ll wait till 2016.
Q I will sort through the great piles of papers on my desk.
The last time I looked for my driver’s licence, I found it after
an hour of intensive searching, hidden under a plumber’s bill
and a packet of chewing gum.
ANNE Q I will make an appointment for a breast scan; I will take my
ROUMANOFF daughter to the orthodontist; I will manage to persuade my
is a well- husband to have his cholesterol checked.
known French Q I will give away the clothes that I never wear and I will stop
humourist.
buying any old rubbish just because I think it’s fashionable.
Q I will cook something other than fish fingers and pasta for
my kids. I will learn how to prepare fresh vegetables in
appetising ways – and I won’t give up at the sight of their
wrinkled-up noses.
Q I will visit my great-aunt with Alzheimer’s more often –
before she forgets who I am once and for all.
Q I will become a sex goddess. Only joking – just to see if
you’re paying attention.
ILLUSTRATI ON: JOE M CKENDRY; PHOTO: TH INKSTOC K
Q My fingernails and toenails will always be immaculate.

That’s how you tell a real woman.
Q I won’t wait till I’ve put on 5kg to launch an emergency
action plan.
I will make it up with my
ister.
I will breathe deeply at least
few minutes a day.
I will take the pressure off.
Q I will make a list at the start
of each month because, as my
grandmother used to say: “You
have to aim for the moon to
reach the sun.”
TRUE TALES
TREAS UR ES ,
TRINK ET S
&
PHIES
ev underrate the
alue of a souvenir – it
el the holiday high
ve on ... and on
BY LO UIS E WATER SON
PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES; THINKSTOCK
WorldMags.net
“We each returned with
several leather camels of
varying size... No-one
questioned why we
needed them or what on
earth we would do with
them back home”
WorldMags.net
TREASURES, TRINKETS AND TROPHIES
I
can’t imagine ever going away vacation allows us to browse shops
on vacation and coming back for non-essentials, or the heady
with less than I took. Usually atmosphere of a new location … or the
the suitcase – or the back of the aching need to have evidence we’ve
car – will be stuffed to capacity. been away, there are common themes
Last time it was a set of wooden row- to our holiday buying, and some rules
boat oars and a captain’s wheel that we’d all do well to heed next time we
I discovered in a bric-a-brac store venture from home.
during our family holiday along the
coast. I decided my “finds” were too You Only Live Once
good to leave behind. And it seems Vacations can be epic. So it figures we
I’m in good company. want something very special to mark
Shopping is a major part of being a our extraordinary trip. A few years
tourist, taking up to one-third of our ago, Siti, a medieval-history buff,
vacation budgets. And with the World visited Toledo in Spain, famous for its
Bank confirming that over one billion
people travel for leisure outside their
own country each year, the mind bog-
Wacky:
gles at how much money we spend
A quacking
on mementoes and knick-knacks to plastic duck
remind us of our adventures. that lays eggs
It starts at the airport duty-free from Vietnam
stores, continues on the plane, and
ramps up at the hotel circled by
souvenir sellers and at the bustling
local markets and landmarks. If we’re
very naïve – or exhausted – it persists
on the special bus tours that take us
round town and end up at a discount
store owned by the driver’s cousin.
So why do we all get the urge to
snap up exotic items on holiday? And
is it possible to ensure those never-
to-be-repeated purchases are worth
every peso, ringgit, dollar or euro?
To figure out what’s going on, I asked
family, friends and work colleagues to
unpack their souvenir stories.
Whether it’s the spare time a
medieval armoury. Unable to bring
back a sword, knife or a full suit of
armour, she settled for a steel helmet
complete with chainmail at the back
of the neck. “I was sensible. I mailed
it home to Singapore,” she says.
The same bold thinking is behind
an (elaborate crystal) chandelier
that my mother’s friend
Frances purchased in
Venice – for her 1960s
low-ceilinged subur-
ban home. Or the plas-
tic walking, talking,
egg-laying duck that
Luke lugged back from
Vietnam.
If we shake our heads in disbelief
at these purchases, it’s only because
they didn’t belong to our own last
grand adventure.
Just like holiday
“Today it has pride of place in my romances, some
living room,” says Siti, of her helmet. purchases can be hard
Rule 1 A souvenir doesn’t have to to fathom in the “cold
be expensive to be extraordinary. light of day”
From talking fridge magnets and
feathered pens to Chinese opera
masks and Scottish kilts: if you’ll get all hit the local markets. “We each
PHOTOS: GETTY IM AGES; LUKE TEM BY
pleasure from something for years to returned with a dishdasha (traditional

come, it’s a beautiful thing. gown), hijab (traditional head scarf ),
and several leather camels of varying
Kitsch is Fun size,” he says. “No-one deviated from
From sombreros in Tijuana, to didg- those three souvenirs. No-one ques-
eridoos in Kakadu, nesting dolls in tioned why we needed them or what
Moscow or batik from Bali, sometimes on earth we would do with them back
you just have to say “We were there!” home.” Greg still has the camels.
When Greg visited Abu Dhabi in 1996 Siti shares a similar attitude: “I love
with a touring volleyball team they buying things when I travel,” she says.
“I don’t think I’ve ever

gone to a place where
I didn’t end up bring-
ing something home, no
matter how small. I like
it when I’m using some-
thing and then go, ‘Oh
yes, I bought this little
coin pouch in Bali.’”
Rule 2 If it captures a
particular moment or if
the expedition to find
it was an adventure in
itself, who cares about
good taste?
The Thrill of
the Hunt
You have spare time,
new shops to explore, money burning
a hole in your wallet and the thrill of “We had to explain the
snapping up something that you may
never get the chance to buy again.
guillotine through
For John, it’s the John F. Kennedy check-in, the special
memorial mug he bought in Napier. freight desk and
It’s one of his coolest treasures.
For Sue, it was a cast iron guillotine
customs”
for cutting bread. She and her hus-
band had admired one they once saw didn’t mind because we were just so
on a French cooking show. So earlier excited to have found it,” says Sue.
this year, on the way to the airport in
Auckland to fly back to Sydney, they Rule 3 Your buys don’t have to be
spotted a battered model in a local an- local or even typical, just special
tique shop, and they couldn’t believe to you. Says Sue, “We’ll remem-
their eyes. “We had to get it spe- ber the weird little shop where we
cially wrapped, then explain our way bought our breadcutter, and with
through check-in, the special freight it, the great holiday we had around
desk, and also Australian customs. We Rotorua.”
READER’S DIGEST
Love at First Sight … tea canister she bought in England.

Just like holiday romances, “Unfortunately, when I stopped over
some purchases can be hard to in Austria, customs thought it resem-
fathom in the “cold light of day”. bled a grenade when they X-rayed my
hristine was in Japan when she luggage. They took my bag apart in
ell head over heels in love with front of everyone.” John can do one
he local fabrics. Without any better – back in 1998 while in Turkey
ewing knowledge, Christine he felt compelled to buy a flint-lock
pent five hours deciding which pistol. “It was a beautiful thing,” he
brics to buy – $350 worth of recalls. “With detailed inlay on the
e stuff – before posting a large handle: I just had to buy it.” Then, as
oxful home. “I figured I’d just he was heading for the airport a pan-
nd a dressmaker and then have icked common sense prevailed – he
me dresses made,” she recalls. threw it in a public bin before Turkish
e problem was the fabrics were officials could throw him in the clink!
ore suited to upholstery than Inconvenience kept Kevin com-
mmer-weight dresses and it took pany when he visited Italy for his 40th
ristine five years to find some- birthday. A day into the month-long
e to make a pinafore out of one holiday, he found his heart’s desire –
them. Does she regret the pur- a coffee machine. Only problem: this
chase? “I’ve wonderful, wonderful meant lugging the steel appliance all
memories of an amazing afternoon,” over the Italian countryside for the
she enthuses. remaining 29 days.
Rule 4 If you buy with your heart, Rule 5 So what’s a good holiday
don’t expect your buys to be sensible, without a good story to tell at the end
but that’s quite all right. of it?
No Thought of the The Clock is Ticking

Consequences (or Freight) Spontaneity and buying souvenirs can
The return journey home with your go hand in hand – urging us to make
souvenir can itself be the traveller’s quick decisions that at home would
tale. My oars and captain’s wheel were take us days to make. But for many
a bargain but the ordeal of squeezing travellers, the pressing thought that
them into the family car (together “I’ll never be back” can convince them
with four kids and a dog) tested my to buy what takes their fancy. This
husband’s patience. happened to Angela, an excellent self-
For Melanie, her “buy first, think taught cook. When she was in Lisbon
later” came with a brass and copper back in the 1980s, she felt compelled
SIMPLE THINGS THAT MEAN SOMETHING

Souvenirs can take many forms – some a little unexpected. For many years,
my mother had a shelf in her laundry cupboard where spare shopping bags
went. There were bags from local supermarkets (free for anyone to take and
never return); bags from “the better shops” in town (for special uses); and
bags carried back from Paris, London or Singapore (and to be treasured as
reminders of memorable European and Asian holidays).
to souvenir some high-grade local Singapore Airlines kebaya (traditional

saffron. Figuring she wouldn’t return blouse and long skirt) the moment
for many years, she purchased five she arrived back home in England.
tiny boxes for what she thought was $7 Designed for the trim figures that
each, not realising she needed to add Singapore Girls are famous for – rather
another zero. She had totally misun- than Barbara’s curvy, more mature
derstood the exchange rate. Oops! shape – it’s no surprise to anyone that
Barbara can empathise with Angela she’s never worn it.
– she regretted her decision to buy a
Rule 6 Get yourself a calculator.
Then dream as big as you can afford.
Sentimental Journeys
In her study of nostalgia and
souvenirs, Associate Professor
Tracey M. Benson, from the College
of Arts and Social Sciences at the
Australian National University,
argues that souvenirs play an
important role in building nos-
talgia and strengthening family
ties to home. It’s why many of
us work so hard to buy, bring
back home, and then display
our souvenirs.
For Sue and her husband it’s the
Saffron: watch the exchange rate when
hand-woven bedspread they bought
buying the world’s most expensive spice on their honeymoon and which has
covered their bed for over 30 years.
READER’S DIGEST
“It says ‘crazy bus trip around Ireland’

each time we look at it.” Or a hippie Some souvenirs will
string hammock they bought in San
Francisco and hung in their garden
return to their new
until the fibres eventually rotted. home to collect dust,
while others enjoy
Rule 7 Souvenirs are the most
reliable way of never forgetting your
prime position
travels.
The Ones That Got Away Rule 8 There will always be the
Sometimes, souvenirs are hard to ones that slipped through your fin-
forget – particularly when it involves gers. And maybe that’s all the excuse
regret. It happens when you don’t you need to book your return trip…
buy a special memento that perfectly
summed up how you felt at that time. While some souvenirs will return to
Take Phil, who in 1984 visited the their new home to collect dust in the
picturesque Swiss town of Lucerne. A china cabinet, bookshelf or hall cup-
watch in the hotel lobby shop caught board, others enjoy prime position on
her eye. To this day she carries the walls or on the mantelpieces to be
disappointment of not buying that admired and remind us of wonderful
time piece. “It had a lovely enamel experiences in fabulous places.
cover, so you couldn’t see the face Whether a souvenir has story-telling
without opening it,” she says. “At value or sits as a testament to your
the time I was in two minds – will I weakness of impulse shopping, never
or won’t I? Then common sense pre- regret your finds – each one tells a story
vailed, the bus was boarding and I and what’s life without stories?
told myself – You can’t buy everything
you see. I’ve had a number of watches Do you have a holiday souvenir story or
since, and none has been as lovely as photograph to share? Details on how to
that one.” email Reader’s Digest are on page 6.
PASS THE BOWL

“Would the congregation please note that the bowl
at the back of the church labelled ‘for the sick’ is for
monetary donations only.”
AS SEEN IN THE CHURCHDOWN PARISH MAGAZINE
TRAVEL
It’s a big, wide world out there. But

though you will meet dodgy taxi drivers
and dirty hostels, don’t hold back!
Less s
Every
Traveller
Learns BY B E N G R O U NDWATER FRO M WWW.TRAVE LLER .COM. AU D
When you first step out into that big world it

can be a little daunting, but as time goes by and you settle
into the travel scene, you very quickly begin to love it.
And that’s because every traveller learns certain lessons,
lessons about themselves, about travel, and about the
world in general. Lessons like these…
P HOTO: GETTY IM AGES
BEN GROUNDWATER
was named 2014 You’re far more resourceful than you think...
Travel Writer of This is the number one thing every traveller soon realises. You
the Year by the might have previously thought you’d struggle with the lan-
Australian Society guage barrier, or that you’re terrible with directions, or that
of Travel Writers.
you’re shy around new people, or that you can’t cope in a
WorldMags.net
L E S S O N S E V E R Y T R AV E L L E R L E A R N S
crisis, but once you throw yourself in

the deep end and have to survive on
your own in the world, you’ll come
to know: you’re far better at this stuff
than you ever realised.
Large groups of any nationality

are annoying...
You’ve seen it with Australians, just
as you’ve seen it with Russians, or
Indians, or Americans, or anyone,
really. Travelling in large groups of the
same nationality tends to bring out
the worst in people – it gives them the
confidence to complain, get rowdy, be
rude or just drunk. Try to avoid them.
You can get used to pretty much

anything in about three days...
Every time I go camping, or stay in a Survival tips: best to avoid large unruly
groups of other travellers but do consider
hostel, or even eat dodgy street food,
deep-fried insect delicacies
the feeling is the same on that first
day: urgh. I can’t get clean. There are
people making noise in my room. This point above – it’ll take about three
food is going to poison me. But after days to get used to it.
about three days of anything – any
level of discomfort, of grot or grime Leave the clean towels behind...
– you just get used to it. And then it What you may have once thought was
becomes fun. disgusting – showering in a mouldy
bathroom, drying yourself with a foul
You can survive with less food and hostel towel, wearing the same T-shirt
less sleep than you thought... four days in a row, never washing your
Couldn’t find anywhere to have break- socks – becomes routine once you’ve
fast this morning? No worries. Stayed been travelling for a couple of months.
up all night boozing and now you Hygiene? It’s a first-world problem.
have to catch a bus? It’ll all be fine.
Blew your budget on a dumb souve- You will not get robbed...
nir and now you have to survive on (Although, maybe you will.) First-time
packet noodles? No dramas. See the travellers tend to obsess over security,
READER’S DIGEST
The first price is never the right

price...
This holds true for anywhere that
the price isn’t stamped onto the
bject or clearly labelled in some
ay. While haggling doesn’t come
aturally to some, it’s something you
ave to get used to if you don’t want
o be ripped off over and over again.
ir travel is fast, train travel is

omantic, and bus travel sucks...
ere are my golden rules of travel: an
eroplane will get you there quickly,
ut it’s not much fun; on a train you
t to meet people, you get to dine at
proper restaurant, and you get to
atch the world go past your window
you soak up the fun; and on a bus
well, you’ll get where you need to
. Probably. Eventually.
atience is a virtue...
but after a while you realise that the Things go wrong when you travel – lots
world isn’t actually out to get you, and of things. The train is late, the money
if you just take a few easy precautions exchange place is closed, the hotel has
the odds are high that you’ll never get lost your booking, and you can feel a
robbed while you travel. (Although rumble in your stomach that means
you still might, so don’t carry any- last night’s street food was a bad
thing you can’t bear to lose.) choice. But you have to be able to roll
with the punches when you travel, or
Weird food is good... you’ll quickly go insane.
It’s a bit of a milestone the first time
P HOTOS: GETTY IM AGES
you eat something truly foreign, the You need more money than you
first time you open up and stuff in thought...
a deep-fried scorpion, or a sheep’s Draw up a budget for your trip. Think
eye, or the leg of a guinea pig. But about all the money you’ll spend
just because we don’t eat it at home, on flights and transfers, and accom-
doesn’t mean it’s not good. modation, and food, and drinks, and
L E S S O N S E V E R Y T R AV E L L E R L E A R N S
entrance fees, and insurance, and all of Somewhere, at some time, someone
the little miscellaneous costs that will will successfully rip you off...
pop up on your overseas adventure. There’s no point getting too upset
Tally all of that up, arrive about it. These people
at your total – and then are professionals – they
double it. make a liv ing, sadly,
It doesn’t matter f rom ta k i ng tou r ists
McDonald’s is an where you are – for a r ide. It’l l most
invaluable resource for Ethiopia or l i kel y happen w hen
toilet stops... Estonia – people you’ve ju st a r r i ved,
You don’t have to eat when you’re jet-lagged
there, but plenty of
are essentially and tired and freaked
countries lack decent the same out by the foreign land
public toilet facilities, around you. You’ll get
and in those cases it’s r ipped of f. A nd you
McDonald’s to the rescue. Their toilets won’t be the first.
are usually free, they’re usually clean,
and they’re usually close by. People are essentially the same...
This is something I’ve noticed over
All underwear is two-sided... many years of travel to many places.
Desperate times call for desperate It doesn’t matter where you are,
measures. You’ll come to know this. whether it’s Ethiopia or Estonia,
Guinea or Guyana, the Middle East or
Always – always – remember to the Mid-West – people are essentially
book an aisle or a window... the same. They want the same things.
Unless you fancy the idea of spend- They want a comfortable, quiet life
ing 14 hours locked in a vicious battle with a decent job and a family to love.
for armrest space with the two hulks They want to be distracted by a sports
sitting either side of you, make sure game, and filled with a good meal.
you book an aisle seat or a window We all have our differences, but deep
when you pay for that ticket. down, we’re the same.
WWW.TRAVELLER.COM.AU (OCT 1, ’14) ©2014 FAIRFAX MEDIA
TONGUE-TWISTERS TO TRY
Tie twine to three tree twigs.

No nose knows like a gnome’s nose knows.
SHARE YOUR STORY
Practical Jokesters
APRIL FOOL’S DAY IS COMING!
It’s that one time of the year

when newspapers, big brands,
and mere mortals have a chance
to mess around. We’d love to
hear your prankster stories –
old and new. So if
you enjoy a laugh
on April Fool’s Day, are a
monumental stirrer or perhaps have
been the target of a good-humoured
prank, tell us all about it.
Send us your April Fool’s Day

stories by January 31, 2015, and
P HOTOS : THIN KSTOCK
we’ll publish the best in our

upcoming Humour Issue.
Closes 31 JANUARY, 2015.
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Laughter
THE BEST MEDICINE
“It turns out you’re not A, B, or AB but the much rarer ABBA blood group.”
BEST FOOT FORWARD “Oh good! I knew my table

It’s New Year’s Eve, and the was around here somewhere.”
restaurant is hopping – revellers, Seen on the internet
band, overworked waiters.

Wending his way through the IN YOUR DREAMS
crowd is a drunk, staggering A man goes to his doctor and says,
back to his seat. Spotting an “Doc, every night I dream I’m
attractive woman sitting playing football. Can you help?”
alone, he says, “Pardon me, “Take these pills,” says the
miss, did I step on your feet a doctor. “You’ll sleep soundly.”
few minutes ago?” “Are you crazy?” says the man.
“Yes,” she replies testily. “I can’t take those. Tonight’s the
“You did.” grand final!” SUBMITTED BY PETE FOSS
CLASS WARFARE
How do you drown a
hipster? Throw him in the
mainstream.
SUBMITTED BY JESSE REHN
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
LOWERING THE BAR Guess what, tapas: you’re the exact
“There are occasional Venn diagram midpoint of my two
embarrassments over recommended least favourite things in the world:
accommodation.” Anyone who small portions and sharing with
can type that without correction anybody.
gets to be US President. EIREANN DOLAN, ON TWITTER
US WRITER MATT SUDDAIN, ON TWITTER
CALLED TO WORDSMITH
ACCOUNT I invented a new word:
A lawyer dies and plagiarism. SUBMITTED BY M.R.
goes to heaven.
“There must be
some mistake,” the THE BARBER SYSTEM
lawyer argues. “I’m way too A man walks into a barbershop and
young to die. I’m only 55 years old!” asks, “How much for a haircut?”
“Fifty-five?” says Saint Peter. “Twelve dollars,” says the barber.
“No, according to our calculations, “And for a shave?”
you’re 83.” “Ten dollars.”
“How did you get that?” the lawyer “All right,” says the man, settling into
asks. the barber chair. “Shave my head.”
Answers Saint Peter: “We added SUBMITTED BY HELEN RUSS
up your time sheets.”
Seen on the internet
SNACKABLE
SPOTTED ON THE TRAIN The key to eating healthy is
On the train to work, untangling not eating any food that has
headphones is the new knitting.
The woman across from me could
a TV commercial.
have finished a cardigan by now. COMEDIAN MIKE BIRBIGLIA
GREG PREECE, ON HUMORLABS.COM
Hollywood gets police work
completely and utterly wrong. Here’s what
it’s really like to do this job in America
CONFESSIONS
OF A
People Are Serial Liars are much more complicated. I was

Ninety-nine per cent of everything cruising about one night and saw this
people say to me is untrue. The most drunken guy riding a horse, clopping
common: “These aren’t my pants.” into oncoming traffic. I turned on my
We hear it during virtually every lights and tried to pull him over. He
case in which someone gets shaken galloped away on horseback, headed
down and drugs or guns are found. for one of those apartment buildings.
Apparently there are ownerless pants Our protocols dictate any officer
just floating around, and people grab entering such a building must be
them off a communal pile before accompanied by at least three other
leaving the house. officers.
He stopped the horse inside,
We’re Cautious in possibly assuming no officer would
Some Neighbourhoods follow him for drunk driving a horse.
for a Reason I leaped out of the car to grab the
I always imagined it was because rider. The guy, in keeping with the old
those places were littered with joke, immediately assured me, “The
armed gangsters, but the reasons horse is sober.”
LIKE IT IS
But the guy was not, and wacky that he was drunk driving and that
I LLUSTRATI ON: EDDIE GUY
circumstances don’t grant you licence horses do count as vehicles under

to endanger yourself and others while the transportation code, when some
under the influence. I knew I wasn’t random dude ran up and punched the
getting horse registration, so I started old lady in the head.
to book him, at which point this little Punching little old people is a
old lady came up and asked why I was felony, so my partner and I chased
arresting Horse Guy. I began to explain the assailant through the complex. He
CONFESSIONS OF A COP
vanished somewhere in the labyrinth, with anything. (We were there to stop
so I made my way back to the car, him from harming himself, and forti-
hoping maybe the lady knew who he fying your home isn’t a crime.)
was. But she had disappeared too.
As had the drunken rider. The horse, The Sight of Police Lights
however, had been left behind. Turns People into Idiots
You would not believe how many Myth : cops use their emergency
phone calls I had to make to get that lights whenever they want, often
horse back to its rightful owner. as an excuse to break traffic laws.
Truth: police vehicles log when an
Kicking in Doors officer turns on the lights, so a cop
Doesn’t Look Like It abusing this will have to explain to
Does in the Movies an annoyed fleet sergeant why he
I have kicked dow n way more keeps running down his batteries for
doors than I ever thought I would. no good reason.
The movies get that whole action While you’ll often hear complaints
completely wrong. At no point should of police speeding just for the heck of
you ever stand directly in front of the it, in my hometown in Texas, protocol
door. Doors aren’t bulletproof, and if sets our maximum speed at 125km/h.
some bad guy behind the door hears When we turn on our lights to get to
you kicking at it, he’s going to shoot. an emergency, everyday commuters –
The goal is to stand off to one side who routinely exceed our maximum
with your back to the wall so that only set speed limit – pass us.
your leg is in front. Then give it a good In theory, a police car with lights
donkey kick, right under the knob. flashing should be able to clear a
One time, I kicked a guy’s door. path. Everybody knows to pull off the
Nothing. We tried a sledgehammer road, or at least clear a lane, when he
as an impromptu ram. Nothing. We sees lights and hears sirens. But some
borrowed the fire department’s pry people see that lane open up, and they
bars. Nothing. The firefighters broke rush over to it, completely oblivious to
out the Jaws of Life, and we peeled the cop car racing towards them (yes,
the entire wall of his apartment away a lot of wrecks happen this way).
to get inside, only to see that all three Ev e n m o re p u z z l i n g a re t h e
hinges had been welded shut and the accidents that happen when the
door locks had been welded shut, police vehicle is sitting still with the
and he’d also welded a metal pole to lights on. Despite the fact that our
a brick of steel behind the door and lights are carefully designed to be
mounted that pole into the floor. And bright and annoying enough to get
after all of that? We didn’t charge him even the most jaded commuter to
READER’S DIGEST
pay attention, people constantly crash Here’s a tip: if you’re hiding from
into parked, lit-up police cars. the police, choose the nastiest place
you can imagine. Dry-clean-only uni-
A Search is the Slowest, forms are a total pain (politely ask
Most Intense Game of your cleaner if he’ll get out blood,
Hide-and-Seek faeces, or fleas and see how that
I have the legs of an Oompa-Loompa, goes), so cops don’t really want to
but chasing people is a surprisingly get disgusting unless they have to.
awesome part of the job. There’s a It’ll definitely cut down your odds of
primitive part of the brain that makes being found. I’ve gotten fleas twice
us love chasing. If you’re a business- from nasty places I searched.
man or a barista, and you see some But if you are caught, surrender
guy running down the street, you can’t immediately. Procedure demands
chase him. But it’s socially acceptable that we get you out of there. I’ve had
for the police – and it’s just the best. to Taser people to get them out from
The slow, tedious version of this under dumpsters. One guy tried to
is a building search: we check every lock himself in his car, which could
possible hiding spot big enough to have led to a SWAT call. We pre-
house a human. Once we got a call empted that by dispersing pepper
from federal agents guarding an spray in the air conditioning vents.
unnamed bigwig in my city. Someone
had left a door ajar, and we had to go I Love Calls About
room by room, opening every cabinet, Wild Animals
cupboard and locker. It turned out We once got a call that two men – one
that a janitor had left the door open in boxers, the other in a pair of
by accident when he went home. We swimmers – were bothering some
were still clearing the place when he peacocks. Now, I have experience with
showed up for work the next day. big birds, so I suspected this would be
I’ve found suspects hiding every- a self-correcting issue. Sure enough,
where, from water heater recesses in the next call soon came in: “Two
the maintenance closet to fridges in naked males being attacked and
the break room. chased by feral birds.”
CRACKED.COM (JANUARY 6, 2014, AND JUNE 2, 2014), © 2014 BY DEMAND MEDIA, INC., CRACKED.COM.
SPARE THE BOD
Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my

mouth out with chocolate. CHARLES SCHULZ
LIVING LANGUAGE
English is a beautiful language to use, but a pain in the

brain to spell. Reader’s Digest chief subeditor Donyale
Harrison shares her favourite tips
How
To t
Spell (part 1)
I
S IT ANY WONDER that English speakers have problems with
spelling? After all, it’s a language with inconsistent rules and
a 2000-year history of stealing any good-looking word that
came along. The fact that many people learn it later in life and are
good at it is nothing short of miraculous. Some words will always
send us scurrying for the dictionary (bless it!), but for more common
problems, here are some handy tricks of the trade to help.
g e
ha
a
t
e i
i gt
i
S
p
WorldMags.net
H OW TO S P E L L
Sound It Out you speak another language, you’re a

Even the best spellers break words step ahead.
down into chewable parts to get them Italian tends to pronounce every
right: indefatigable looks hard but is consonant, even when they’re dou-
made up of six easy syllables – in-de- bled. That’s why we say broc-coli and
fat-i-ga-ble. Immediately was the bane spell it with two C’s and one L. If it was
of my young life until a teacher made brocolli, you’d say “bro-col-li”. Italian
me sound it out: im-med-i-ate-ly. Easy! also has soft C and G sounds before
Even necessary just needs you to I and E (like foccacia: foc-ca-chi-a),
remember one thing – the first S sound unless you add an H, which tells you
is a C: that tells you that you need an E how to spell spaghetti (spagh-et-ti)
after it to make the soft sound. Then and zucchini (zuc-chi-ni). These silent
the next S sound is a longer one, so two H’s sneak into a lot of words to harden
S’s, and stick an -ary on the end. up other letters: architect, ghetto and
There are also tricks for distinguish- even the non-Italian gherkin.
ing between pairs of words with simi- French words often stay gendered
lar sounds but different spellings and in English, so we say blond for a man’s
meanings. Stationary stands still like a fair hair, but blonde for a woman’s;
car, and both have ar in them. Station- fiancé for Jim, fiancée for Jess, and my
ery includes letters, and both have er. protégé Bill but my protégée Beth.
Confused about principle and princi- That -ay sound at the end is
pal? The person ends in pal. You hear common in French and can be made
with your ear, or bring her over here. with an e-acute (sauté, café), an
And then there are words that look ee (entree) or an -et (ballet, fillet).
nothing like they sound. For them, it’s Though words borrowed from the
worth sitting down and memorising French centuries ago often have a
what the word looks like, how to say straight English -ay ending: parlay,
it and how to spell it. Admittedly, I’ve foray – I may have been exaggerating
been known to say picture-sque after about the rules being clear-cut.
teaching my goddaughter how to spell
picturesque – but I pass it off as a poor Clues from the Classics
attempt at humour! Latin scholars have a big advantage.
For starters, they know how many F’s
Origin Stories are in professor (a common confusion).
Knowing where a word came from can It’s made up of the Latin proposition
give you clues to its spelling. Many pro- (forward), then fess (to speak,
other languages have clear-cut rules knowledge), with the English suffix -or
that still hold true for their words (one who does something) stuck on
when they’re swiped by English. If the end. Pro-fess-or.
READER’S DIGEST
Latin gives clues to endings, too:

most words ending in -or are Latin- GET TRICKY
based (confessor, author) – other
words have the more common -er There are some words that
(driver, runner). No idea which words most people get wrong at
are Latin-based? Look for Latin word first. Happily, generations of
beginnings such as ad-, con-, contra-, teachers have come up with
in-, inter-, pre-, pro-, re-, sub-, super- handy little sayings to get us
through the hard bits:
and trans-. They usually get added
whole to the rest of the word, so with O There’s a rat in separate.
O ’E’s in the cemetery.
that short list you’ve got a good start
O De finite world is definite.
on hundreds of words.
O I’m able to accept acceptable.
One trick : ad- (administer) has O Is land surrounded? It’s an
a few alternative forms including island.
a- (aspire) acc- (accede), and always These tricks are called mnemonics
ac- before Q (acquire and acquit). If and come in a few different types.
the first letter of the root word is a For example, you can make up a
single consonant, it becomes a- plus phrase to help you with the hard
the consonant: affix, attract, assign. parts of a word:
O Cousin Charlie and Mr Marsh
Greek roots abound in English.
need accommodation.
There’s tele, phone, scope, zoo, hydro, O A secretary must keep a secret.
photo, graph, logo; as well as prefixes Or you can come up with a phrase
like anti-, auto-, micro- and mono-; and to spell out the whole word:
suffixes like -ism, -logy, -phile and -ic. O Rhythm Helps Your Two Hips
These generally keep their spelling in Move = rhythm
English, so telephone, hydrograph and O Dining In A Rough Restaurant?
antibiotic can all be built from pieces. Hurry! Otherwise, Expect
Accidents = diarrhoea
English also has a habit of making
hybrid words that mix Greek and Latin,
to the horror of purists. Handily, words
like television and automobile keep the
spelling rules of each of their parts.
We’ve only scratched the surface, but
that’s already thousands of spellings
sorted. And remember, if you’re ever at
a loss, just choose another word!
REST IN PEACE
Part 2 of “How to Spell” will appear in
our April edition.
All in a Day’s Work
HUMOUR ON THE JOB
NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH you was the condition of the body
More dramatic real-life scenes from when he performed the autopsy?
US courtrooms. WITNESS: He described it as dead.
Source: Law and Disorder, by Charles M. Sevilla
PROSECUTOR: How fast was the car

coming towards you? POORLY SCREENED
WITNESS: I am not a SCENE: Me driving past a fast-
thermometer, so I can’t tell food outlet.
you the speed limit. SIGN: Now Hiring Managers.
ILLUSTRATION: CHRIS CATER
[Two weeks later…]

PROSECUTOR: Do you see the SIGN: Now Hiring Managers.
defendant in the court today? Background Checks Required.
WITNESS: Yes, I do. Source: notalwaysworking.com
PROSECUTOR: How is he dressed?

WITNESS: He looks pretty sharp. LONG IN THE TOOTH
At the age of 55, I finally got my
ATTORNEY: What did the doctor tell degree and set out to become a
stops, rides the rear bumper of the car
“You’ve had three ahead, and pulls several Gs of force
hairstyles. What’s next for when she turns corners unfailingly
elevates my heart rate. This has
your career?”
obvious health benefits.
Z AC H GA LI F IA N A K I S TO J U S TI N B I E B E R
O N B E T WE E N T WO F E R N S Once again, I would like to
commend Lea Schroeder for her
substitute teacher. One day, a seventh outstanding work.
grader asked if I’d been teaching long. Sincerely yours, Robert V.
“Actually, I’m brand new,” I told SUBMITTED BY LEA SCHROEDER, A BUS
him. “I just graduated.” DRIVER WITH A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR
Looking me up and down, he
asked, “How long were you at CODE BROKEN
university?” I tried to explain to a client why I
SUBMITTED BY DEBI BRIM couldn’t help him with a project
that was written in a program code
TAKEN FOR A RIDE I wasn’t familiar with.
From a passenger of “Let’s say you’re asking me to
the Vacaville, write something in a specific
California, public language. Now, I’m fluent in
bus company: English and Spanish, but your
Dear Sir, project is in Chinese. Since I don’t
I would like to understand Chinese, I’m not your
commend driver Lea best option. You need
Schroeder for the following reasons: someone who is
1. She frequently doesn’t stop for me fluent in this
when I’m waiting at the bus stop, but specific language.
she always waves as she goes by. See?”
2. If she’s running behind, she tells He said he did
me, “Sit your butt down,” in a and thanked me.
courteous way. The next morning I
3. She nearly comes to a complete stop got a call from another developer
now when I disembark, so I haven’t asking, “Why is so-and-so asking us if
fallen in almost a week. we’re fluent in Chinese?”
4. Although she usually gives me Source: clientsfromhell.net
wrong instructions on which bus to

take, I enjoy riding all around Vacaville Got a good joke, anecdote or real-life
gem to share? Send it in and you could win
on the different routes. cash! See page 6 for details on how to
5. The way she suddenly starts and contribute.
58 | Decemberđ2014 WorldMags.net
NATURE
Every autumn,
hundreds of polar
bears pass by,
and through, the
small Canadian
town of Arviat
Siege
BY JEFF TIETZ FROM MEN’S JOURNAL
Polar
of the
Bears
A
FEW HOURS BEFORE my turboprop
landed in Arviat, airport workers
chased a polar bear off the
runway. Three bears had passed
by the terminal earlier that November
morning. Around noon, a fifth bear loped
PHOTO: A LAM Y
down the main street and chased two young

men. Paul Aliktiluk, one of Arviat’s two by-
law officers, arrived just in time to head ➸
SIEGE OF THE POLAR BEARS
it off. That evening a sixth bear charged shooting bears pre-emptively, which
a woman, who dashed into a nearby at this point could mean carnage.*
house. Later that night, the town’s bear
monitor, Leo Ikakhik, used firecracker AFTER I ARRIVED in Arviat, I drove
shells to scare off a seventh bear. my rented 4WD out to the town
Every autumn, hundreds of po- dump, which residents had ceded to
lar bears pass Arviat, an Inuit town the bears. As I pulled in, I saw a bear
of 2800 people on the western shore amid the trash mounds, but the scale
of Hudson Bay, in the northern Ca- seemed wrong: on all fours, it was too
nadian territory of Nunavut. As they wide and too long. Standing, it might
move northward to the have been 2.5m tall. A
high Arctic, they range resident of Arviat had
east onto the widening once seen a 4m-tall
ice of Hudson Bay. “You never bear. Looking up at that
By the time the bears know where a bear would have been
reach Arviat’s latitude, polar bear is like looking up at some-
most should already one leaning out of a
be out on the bay, going to pop second-storey window.
hunting seals. But the up,” said The bear had buried
climate has warmed in tribal elder its face in trash. Then
recent years, and the Peter Alareak two ears flicked up, and
ice freezes later, so the it raised its head and
bears hug the coast. took a few steps back.
Their new route runs It moved with languor
straight through Arviat. – I would have expected it to lumber
“You never know where they’re and thud, but its steps were eminently
going to pop up,” tribal elder Peter controlled. I could see its muscles and
Alareak told me, noting that Arviat bones working beneath its fitted coat.
was far worse than Churchill, which It swung its head to one side and back
lies 260km to the south and bills itself before resuming its meal.
as the Polar Bear Capital of the World. Polar bears are aquatic animals:
“You might be inside and want to go their paws are webbed for swimming
out for a smoke, and next thing you and their necks highly extendable
know, the bear is right there.” for breathing in rough seas; a whale-
No-one in Arviat has yet been
mauled or killed, but for many resi- * Measures to deter polar bears in Arviat,
such as the hiring of a bear monitor, are
dents the town has become a scary credited with lowering the number of polar
place. I kept hearing that people were bears killed from eight in 2010 to three in
a serious injury or death away from 2011 and none since.
READER’S DIGEST
Arviat lies on the western

shore of Hudson Bay
like layer of blubber makes them Hudson Bay. I drove over one day to
buoyant and impervious to cold. They talk about the bear problem. It was
can swim more than 350km and run 2pm and the sun was setting. Like the
40km/h. They can smell a 70kg seal 8am sunrise, the sunset would last for
under a metre of ice from 1.6km away, two hours – in late November, half the
approach its breathing hole sound- day’s illumination is twilight, which
lessly, and casually pull it from the sea. tempers the overwhelming whiteness
Encounters between humans and of the land.
polar bears are infrequent, and fatal The comfortable living area of
attacks remain exceedingly rare. They Darryl and Kukik’s sizeable house
are stealth hunters – you won’t see or smelled faintly, but not unpleasantly,
hear them until they charge – and if of frozen sea mammal. A bear skin and
they’re hungry enough, they will kill photos of seal and whale and caribou
and eat humans. hunts hung on the walls. Darryl, having
thrown his back out while axe-cleaving
IN 2011, a bear broke Darryl Baker’s frozen seal and whale carcasses to feed
PHOTO: GORD BILLARD
sled-dog pen, killing one of his dogs. the dogs, was lying on a big modular
Carefully bred and highly trained, lounge, talking on a mobile phone in
sled dogs are worth several thousand front of a large flatscreen TV.
dollars each. When the bear ignored a Ku k i k , w h o i s 3 1 a n d e v e n -
warning shot, Baker killed it. tempered, offered me tea and a seat
Darryl and his wife, Kukik, live near at the kitchen table, then clicked two
cartridges of chai into an automatic When climate change drove polar

tea-maker. bears into Arviat’s backyards, a
Darryl got off the phone, stiffly sensible solution would have been to
ambled over, and sat down. “Are you exempt residents from the quota and
walking?” he asked. “Because there implement a bear deterrence system.
was a polar bear right out here on this Churchill employs a full-time bear
road about an hour ago.” response team, maintains a bear hold-
Darryl and Kukik said that many ing facility, has a transport helicopter,
people in Arviat don’t and buries its garbage.
walk around after But no politician
dark anymore. Some moved to shield Arviat.
don’t walk around in “Are you Leo Ikakhik’s position as
the daytime. Children walking?” bear monitor was cre-
rarely play outside, and he asked. ated with funds from the
when they do, their World Wildlife Fund. To
“There was a
parents order them to people like the Bakers,
stay within “running polar bear the WWF does more
distance” of the house. right here on harm than good: it ex-
As recently as the late this road an ploits a caricature of the
1950s, Darryl pointed polar bear – vulnerable,
hour ago”
out, the Inuit people noble, adorable – to
lived in small, semi- lobby for the hunting
nomadic bands. Arviat prohibitions that leave
had been a summer hunting camp. people in Arviat defenceless.
When they moved to Arviat perma- “These are not cuddly, fluffy ani-
nently, a dump became necessary, mals,” Darryl said. “They’re very big
and caches of whale and seal meat and scary.”
lay on the beach. Arviat was now a The Inuit, of course, have always
bear lure. hunted polar bears sustainably. To
people in Arviat, the southerners’
T H E C A N A D I A N government in- assumption seems to be that if left
troduced the quota system for polar unregulated, Inuit would treat polar
bear hunting in the 1960s, a response bears like white people had. Darryl
to overharvesting by commercial and and Kukik said that no-one in Arviat
sport hunters. Arviat receives only “played around” with wildlife. The
eight tags a year, and any bears killed culture didn’t allow it. “Musk ox, cari-
“in defence of life or property” count bou, beluga – this is our big farm up
against the quota. here,” Darryl said.
FROM MEN’S JOURNAL (NOVEMBER 2013), © BY MEN’S JOURNAL, LLC 2013, WWW.MENSJOURNAL.COM
READER’S DIGEST
Leo Ikakhik, Arviat’s

sole polar bear monitor
- snowmobile and glided down empty

t streets. At a scrap yard, Ikakhik began
or not, seemed clear: an Inuit life was nosing among corroded trawler hulls
not worth a polar bear’s. and staved-in shipping containers and
dead bulldozers. Bears make sleeping
LEO IKAKHIK PATROLS the town’s nests in the wreckage, so what we
perimeter alone, with no mobile were doing seemed an excellent way
phone or radio. “It’d be good to have to startle a bear in close quarters.
someone else out there with me,” he Hours later, the sun showed a
PHOTO: SA RAH ROGERS/NUNATSI AQ NEWS
said before taking me out on patrol. fraction of itself, and we made for the
“The bears can get pretty spooky – dump. Behind snowed-over rubbish,
sometimes they run behind me before Ikakhik pointed out sleeping hollows
I can see them.” from the night before – inexplica-
Ikakhik is 50, short, with narrow eyes bly small depressions in snowdrifts.
and a wispy goatee. “I always approach “They’re big, but they can curl up real
the animal as the animal’s behaving,” small,” Ikakhik said. “They’re very
he told me. “If they make a lot of stops flexible.”
and wait for you and look at you, We turned away from the dump,
they’re uncomfortable. They hardly and there in the middle distance was
ever charge, but you never know.” a bear. It was moving away from town,
Around midnight, we hopped on a but it was close enough that Ikakhik felt
compelled to hurry it along. He gunned Aliktiluk later told me that he chased

the vehicle. Had the bear turned and the bear out to the scrap yard and shot
charged, it probably wouldn’t have a cracker cartridge at it, which spurred
been able to catch us, but snowmo- it to run onto the roof of an old pickup,
biles can stall and guns can jam. This leap onto a road grader, and then
one kept on going, though. spring onto the roof of another pickup
before sprinting out onto the ice.
T H E T R AU M A of being chased by “They’re tricky, like monkeys,” he
a bear is durable and perspective- said. “I didn’t even know they could
altering. do that.”
“There’s nothing in I also talked to
your mind, just ‘Run!’” 22-year-old Rebecca
Luke Atatsiak told me. “I’m barely Nariyak, slender and
Luke is one of the out now, c u t e a n d w h i s p e r-
young men who got during the voiced, who’d been
chased the day I arrived chased and nearly
in Ar viat. We were
dark,” she killed by a bear four
sitting at the dining said. “I’m years earlier. It was
table in his house, a always scared about this time of year
slight-looking A-frame to be out in when the bear chased
with a single first-floor her, Rebecca said. She
the dark”
room. Luke is rangy, seemed on the verge of
with a melancholy face tears, but her voice was
that changes entirely so faint I couldn’t quite
when he smiles – a smile so wide it tell. “They were saying, ‘There’s a bear
nearly forces his eyes closed. inside the town,’ and we were going to
“While I was running, I was in my go see my grandmother because she
boots, steel-toe, and somehow I didn’t was alone and it was in her area.”
slip,” he said. He kept thinking about The bear appeared soundlessly
this detail, how strange it was that the almost as soon as they walked out the
boots didn’t slow him down. door.
“After what happened, I kept “We had to run back to our neigh-
laughing at myself – I didn’t know I bour’s house. And as we were run-
could run that fast.” ning, the bear was shot from behind.”
I asked him whether he would have If the bear hadn’t been shot, it would
gotten away if Paul Aliktiluk hadn’t ar- have caught her.
rived. “No,” he said. “It was too close.” Rebecca nodded when I asked if
I asked him how much he thought she’d had nightmares, and then said,
about it. “Most of the time,” he said. “Because I had to protect my sister
READER’S DIGEST
and run away from the bear at the not even bother scavenging in town
same time. I was the older sister who that night.
had to protect her.” We watched them for a while, and
I asked how she felt walking around then Aliktiluk asked, rhetorically,
town now. “I’m barely out now, dur- “Why would Coca-Cola use them as
ing the dark,” she said. “I’m always mascots?” Like everyone, he was irked
scared to be out in the dark.” by the cartoonish recasting of the
She got nervous during the day, too: animal. “Polar bears are not cute,” he
“I actually don’t walk around much said, and suggested sarcastically that
anymore.” Pepsi retain grizzlies.
I asked whether she’d be willing to Aliktiluk asked if I wanted to see
live far from her family and friends how they reacted to the sound of a
and birthplace to get away from bears. shotgun being pumped, and I said
“Yes,” she said. sure. He opened the window and
racked the slide a few times. The bears’
PAUL ALIKTILUK OFFERED to take heads came up right away. As usual, I
me out on patrol in his truck. In his was impressed by the briskness of the
early 50s, with a shaved head and movement – not at all ponderous: a
wire-rimmed glasses, he reminded start, a whisk of the neck.
me of the Dalai Lama. Aliktiluk decided to shoot a fire-
As we drove along the bay towards cracker shell. It arced out of the gun,
the cemetery we could see the lights landed near the bears, then popped
of snowmobiles out on the frozen and flared. The bears had been shift-
water. “I like when people are out ing uneasily, and at the explosion they
here – kind of keeps the bears away,” rushed off agilely.
Aliktiluk said. “Whoever invented that – I thank
We saw fresh bear tracks by the him,” Aliktiluk said, and then, after a
cemetery, but they led from town back pause: “They’ll be back in about five
onto the ice, so we turned around and minutes.”
drove to the dump, where six polar
bears were eating nearly shoulder to The WWF has funded Ikakhik for a fourth
shoulder. Aliktiluk observed that the year. This year, the regional government
bears had so much to eat, they might has funded three additional patrollers.
21ST CENTURY VOCABULARY

E-QUAIL (v.) To feel dread upon receiving an e-mail from a hostile or
irksome source, and to resist opening it for fear it might contain distressing
or irritating news, or increase your workload.
EXERCISE
’80s
Terry-cloth
headbands and
a chest expander
to engage the
back and
shoulders
WorldMags.net
As we resolve to definitely
exercise more in 2015,
Helen Signy takes us on
a hot and sweaty trip
through time
Throug
the Age WorldMags.net
FITNESS THROUGH THE AGES
F
rom Jane Fonda and ab ma-
chines, to high-intensity
interval training and high-
tech fitness apps – the world
of fitness has continuously reinvented
itself in recent decades as we strive to
get healthy and look good.
“The science around fitness and
health has come a long way,” says
Lauretta Stace, chief executive officer
of health and fitness industry associa-
tion, Fitness Australia. “Much of what
we do now is evidence-based and
tailored to people’s needs.”
The current guidelines for adults
advocate being active on most,
preferably all, days of the week, with
muscle-strengthening activities on at
least two days. You should aim for 150
to 300 minutes of moderate intensity
physical activity, or 75 to 150 minutes
of vigorous activity, each week, and
minimise time spent sitting.
’70s
But doing any physical activity
is better than doing none. So if you What we’ve learned
haven’t worked out since the days Back in the ’70s, exercise was all
of the leg warmer and spandex suit, about looking good. We jogged to
maybe our nostalgic look at how far lose weight, and body building took
we’ve come will entice you back to the off in earnest, led by the pumped up
gym or walking track. pecs of Arnold Schwarzenegger and
his Mr Universe brethren.
The 1970s Katie Williams, accredited exercise
Exercise craze: Jogging, body building, physiologist at Exercise and Sports
calisthenics Science Australia, says running is still
Equipment we used: Vibrating belts, regarded as a great medium- to high-
sauna suits, weight-reducing belts – all intensity exercise that burns large
designed to help us look slim numbers of kilojoules and uses the
What we wore: Short shorts, knee-high large muscle groups. It’s also great to
white socks, velour tracksuits improve bone density.
READER’S DIGEST
’70s But these days we recognise that

mixing it up will probably achieve
etter results. Cross training, which
ntroduces variety to your weekly
orkout, will get you fit more quickly.
unning outdoors on a track or trail
s great because it challenges your
tability and balance. If you’re run-
ing on a treadmill at the gym, make
ure you get off the 0% gradient.
he 1980s
xercise craze: Aerobics, group fitness
xercises, rollerblading
Ripped and toned: Arnold quipment we used: ThighMaster,
Schwarzenegger bMaster, ButtMaster – a wide variety
f do-it-at home resistance training
achines
hat we wore: Spandex leotards with
cinch belts, leg warmers, sweat bands
What we’ve learned
Modern aerobics burst onto t he
scene in the early ’80s spearheaded
by celebrities such as Jane Fonda and
Olivia Newton-John. With the advent
“Don’t overdo it.

It’s really important
when engaging in a
’80s running programme to
build it up over time to
Feeling the burn: lycra-clad and leg- prevent injury”
warmered, we puffed our way through KATIE WILLIAMS,
high-impact exercise and spent a lot of ACCREDITED EXERCISE PHYSIOLOGIST
time waving our legs in the air in time to
Cyndi Lauper and Michael Jackson
of exercise workout videos, made

accessible on our new video play-
ers, we could feel the burn in the
comfort of our own living rooms.
“Jane Fonda and the likes were the
beginning of a massive movement
that’s still going strong,” says Lauretta
Stace. “Choreographed fitness moves
are an attractive model, particularly
for women. They’re fun, the music is
motivational and you can choose the
class that suits your needs.”
Aerobics today ranges from the
ver y gentle to the most extreme
high-intensity workouts, offering
the variet y that we now k now is
essential for optimum fitness.
As for the burn – while some
muscle soreness is a sign that your
muscles are repairing themselves to
be stronger, excessive soreness that
’90s
lasts more than two to three days can
be a sign you’ve overdone it. Make
sure you build up gradually so you
don’t injure yourself.
The 1990s
Exercise craze: Boot camp,
BodyPump, aqua-aerobics, yoga
Equipment we used: Heart-rate
monitors, dumb-bells, Swiss balls
What we wore: Leotards, leggings,
bicycle shorts, high-tech fabrics

By the ’90s, former Olympian Les
Mills and others had developed a
wide range of choreographed group
fitness programmes that remain
’90s
READER’S DIGEST
poopular today. The most suc-

Ab Rocket: “Tighter
ceessful of all time, BodyPump,
abs in five minutes” –
offfered a full-strength workout or your money back?
n less than an hour, toning
in
thhe muscles and improving
caardio vascular fitness. For
thhose who needed something
d ifferent, there was aqua-
aerobics, step, boxercise – the
liist goes on.
This decade also saw the
popularity
p of boot camp,
commando-like
c group fitness
classes
c using the outdoors as
EXERCISE TRENDS THAT
the
t gym. The trend opened
ARE BEST FORGOTTEN
up
u a world of fitness oppor- 1. Upside-down Abs Machines: Also
tunities
t for people who didn’t known as hanging sit-ups, this fad
like
l gyms. had us suspended by our ankles
“We started to see parks while we strained to sit up. Only
and benches used for these for the experienced trainer.
outside classes and business 2. Cardio Striptease: Launched
exploded as fitness centres with Carmen Electra’s Aerobic
added these classes to their Striptease DVD, this craze promised
services,” says Stace. an improved sex life along with your
kilojoule burn. But only if you
At the other end of the fitness
looked like Carmen Electra.
spectrum, yoga became main-
stream. This centuries-old 3. Three-minute Legs: A popular
gadget that promised total
psycho-physical and meditation
sculpting of all the muscles in the
practice is now offered by most legs and bottom in just three
gyms and, along with Pilates, is minutes a day. As if.
considered an essential part of 4. Ab Rocket: A “magic” way of
many people’s weekly exercise getting rid of belly fat and love
routines. handles as you sat back and let
the machines do the work.
The pool became cool in the ’90s,
with aqua-aerobics offering 5. Aqua Cycling: A spin class where
gentler, “low-impact” exercises. the stationary bikes are immersed
Boot camps, meanwhile, promised in water to reduce impact. Yes,
military-style discipline to keep us really.
on the straight and narrow
The 2000s
Exercise craze: Zumba and other
dance fitness classes, Pilates, Wii,
personal training
Equipment we used: Video games,
strip poles, vibration plates
What we wore: Bare midriffs, shoes
that mimicked being barefoot, iPods,
thigh-toning shoes
As we started to fixate on screens and
our waistlines grew, a new exercise
option opened up – Nintendo Wii.
The ability to play a video game and
move at the same time at least got us
’00s
off the couch – though this form of
exercise did give rise to Wii injuries
as people forgot to move furniture out t was now t at persona training
of the way. exploded, both individual and group-
In the gyms, dancing for fitness based. “It’s about understanding that
became a craze, giving rise to high- everyone is an individual and may
energy classes like Zumba and pole need tailored advice, motivation or
dancing. Pilates, a mixture of yoga, programme design. Personal train-
ballet and calisthenics moves, took ing helps people get results based on
off as a way of improving flexibility. their own needs,” says Stace.
LASTING IMPACTS metabolism. There’s plenty of scientific

P HOTOS: ALL GETTY I MAGES OR SUPPLI ED
1. Sitting is bad. Sitting for long evidence to show it works.
periods during the day can damage 3. Strength training is essential. It’s not
your health, according to numerous all about getting fit – you need to do
studies. Make sure you move some resistance training two to three
regularly throughout the day. times a week to maintain muscle mass
2. Short, intense workouts can and bone density as you age.
achieve amazing results. Known 4. Sweating does not help you lose
as high-intensity interval training weight. Sweating has been promoted
(HIIT), you combine bursts of since the ’50s (when sweat suits were
intense anaerobic exercise with the rage), but there is no evidence to
short recovery periods for improved show this normal bodily response to
fitness, fat burning and glucose exercise accelerates weight loss. If you
READER’S DIGEST
Now
N
E
Exercise craze: Apps, pedometers,
GPS tracking
G
Equipment we use: Increasingly high-
E
ttech gym equipment
What we wear: Wearable technology
W

W
L
Like most facets of our lives, tech-
nology has transformed fitness. The
n
iinternet and smartphones mean
tthat people can access a full range of
ffitness instruction in their own homes
aas never before. At the same time, we
ccan monitor everything from our daily
ssteps to our heart rate or sleeping
’10s
patterns. It helps people stay account-
p Smartphone keep-fit: speed trackers,
able, set goals and track their progress. food diaries and customised exercises
Rather than challenging the suprem- Many gym goers today are looking
acy of gyms, technology is bringing for results-based fitness programmes,
more people through their doors, says exercising to achieve specific goals,
Stace. “People are seeing their patterns she says – giving rise to terrifically
emerge and realising what they can do popular challenges like Tough Mudder,
better. They are more self-aware and fun runs and Masters games.
are looking for tailored services.” Gym equipment has evolved, too,
and these days is designed to help us
are going to do a programme which achieve very specific improvements
will make you sweat a lot, like Bikram and increase our functional fitness.
yoga, then hydrate well. Treadmills, cardio machines and
5. Exercise gadgets tend not to wo ork. strengthening machines are proven to
Late-night TV is full of equipment be highly safe and effective if used
promising great abs or thighs – butt correctly.
there’s little that can target one
specific body area for weight loss.
6. Exercise should do good, not ha arm.
Before starting any activity, check w
with
your GP about any risk factors and to
get advice about a programme suitted
to your health needs.
WorldMags.net a ua
an aryđ20
2015
015 | 73
Points to Ponder
THE PRESIDENT and I [were talking to IF YOU DON’T LISTEN eagerly to
guests at a fund-raiser], and they’re the little stuff when [your children] are
holding their smartphone cameras little, they won’t tell you the big stuff
up ... And I said to the president, “You when they are big, because to them,
know, the oddest thing about what’s all of it has always been big stuff.
happening right now is that we’ve
stopped living our lives, and we’re CATHERINE M. WALLACE,
just recording them.” a u t h o r, in U.S. Catholic
GEORGE CLOONEY, A UNIVERSITY’S OBLIGATION is

a c t o r, in Esquire not to teach students what to think
but to teach students how to think …
THERE’S NO SUCH thing as If students graduate with ears and
a woman, one woman. There are minds closed, the university has failed
dozens inside every one of them … both the student and society.
but what child can see the women
inside her mum, what with all MICHAEL BLOOMBERG,
that Motherness blocking out f o r m e r m a y o r o f Ne w Yo r k C i t y ,
in a commencement speech
everything else?
TO LIVE ENTIRELY in public is a form
KELLY CORRIGAN, of solitary confinement.
w r i t e r, in her book Glitte
er and Glue
MARGARET ATWOOD,
a u t h o r, in the New York Review of Books
When n people are like, “Life is so good,”

I go, ““No, life is a series of disastrous
mom ments, painful moments,
unexpected moments, and things that

will b
break your heart. And in between
tho
ose moments, that’s when you
savvour, savour, savour.”
SANDRA BULLOCK, a c t r e s s , in Entertainment Weekly
WorldMags.net
I was the first person to know that
my daughter, Chastity, was
a lesbian, but I was the last person
she told. I didn’t make it easy for her,
and I’m not proud of that. CHER, in More
NAMES WORK HARD: they can WE ARE HAPPY WHEN we have

affect who gets into elite schools and family, we are happy when we have
who gets hired, and they can even friends, and almost all the other
influence what cities we live in and things we think make us happy
what products we buy, since we’re actually are just ways of getting more
attracted to things and places that family and friends.
share similarities to our names.
DANIEL GILBERT,
CODY C. DELISTRATY, professor of psychology,
writer and historian, in the Atlantic on bigthink.com
MY GENERATION WAS raised being A LOT OF PEOPLE who came up

able to flip channels if we got bored, the same time we did ... you see them
and we read the last page of the book fade, and you can see why. They’re
when we got impatient. We want attached to a decade and have to milk
to be caught off guard, delighted, that to live.
left in awe.
TOM PETTY,
musician, in Rolling Stone
TAYLOR SWIFT,
musician, in the Wall Street Journal
CITIES ESCAPE US, run away from

us, woo us, and dump us. Cities have
a mind of their own.
MICHELE FILGATE,
w r i t e r, in the Brooklyn Quarterly
There is no more wasteful entity

in medicine than a rushed doctor.
SANDEEP JAUHAR,
c a rd i o l o g i s t , in the New York Times
INSPIRATION
Anger may be justified, but “getting even”

won’t make you feel better
Why
We
Forgive
BY D E S M O N D TUTU FRO M THE BOOK OF FORGIVING
T H E R E W E R E S O M A N Y nights on anyone, especially not a child. If

when I, as a young boy, had to watch I dwell in those memories, I can feel
helplessly as my father verbally and myself wanting to hurt my father back,
physically abused my mother. I can in the same ways he hurt my mother
P HOTO: GETTY IM AGES
still recall the smell of alcohol, see the and in ways of which I was incapa-
fear in my mother’s eyes, and feel the ble as a small boy. I see my mother’s
hopeless despair that comes when we face and I see this gentle human
see people we love hurting each other being whom I loved so very much and
in incomprehensible ways. who did nothing to deserve the pain
I would not wish that experience inflicted upon her.
Archbishop Emeritus
Desmond Tutu
WorldMags.net
WHY WE FORGIVE
When I recall this story, I realise how gives, at best, only momentary respite
difficult the process of forgiving truly from our emotional pain. The only
is. Intellectually, I know my father way to experience healing and peace
caused pain because he was in pain. is to forgive. Until we can forgive, we
Spiritually, I know my faith tells me remain locked in our pain and locked
my father deserves to out of the possibility of
be forgiven as God for- experiencing healing
gives us all. But it is still and freedom ; locked
difficult. The traumas we
Until we can out of the possibility of
have witnessed or expe- forgive, we being at peace.
rienced live on in our remain locked Without forgiveness,
memories. Even years we remain tethered to
later they can cause us
in our pain and the person who harmed
fresh pain each time we locked out of us. We are bound with
recall them. the possibility chains of bit terness,
Are you hur t and
suffering? Is the injury
of experiencing tied together, trapped.
Until we can forgive the
new, or is it an old, un- healing person who harmed us,
healed wound? Know that person w ill hold
that what was done to the keys to our happi-
you was wrong, unfair, and unde- ness; that person will be our jailor.
served. You are right to be outraged. W hen we forgive, we take back
And it is perfectly normal to want to cont rol of our ow n fate and our
hurt back when you have been hurt. f e e l i n g s . We b e c ome ou r o w n
But hurting back rarely satisfies. We liberators. Forg iveness, in ot her
think it will, but it doesn’t. If I slap you words, is the best form of self-interest.
after you slap me, it does not lessen This is true both spiritually and
the sting I feel on my own face, nor scientifically. We don’t forgive to help
does it diminish my sadness as to the the other person. We don’t forgive for
fact you have struck me. Retaliation others. We forgive for ourselves.
THE BOOK OF FORGIVING, BY DESMOND TUTU AND MPHO TUTU © BY DESMOND TUTU AND MPHO TUTU,
IS PUBLISHED BY HARPERCOLLINS, HARPERCOLLINS.COM.
NO, REALLY?
“Warning: high in sodium.” As seen on a salt cellar.
“Do not use while sleeping.” On a hair dryer.
“Do not eat toner.” On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
Life’s Like That
SEEING THE FUNNY SIDE
From the Archives

What presents as a charming delighted baby smiled back. It was
anecdote in January 1959 would the most animated and appealing
attract the immediate attention of window display our town had seen
child protection services in 2015. in years. SUBMITTED BY SOLON GRAY
You be the judge…
The young wife of our local chem mist

came into her husband’s store the
other day and asked him to takee
care of their baby while she did
some shopping. The chemist
agreed, but no sooner had his
wife left than the youngster began
to cry. Business was brisk and th
he
poor man was desperate. Then
he had an idea.
Hurrying into the furniture
store next door, he borrowed
a playpen, which he set up in
one of his display windows.
Into it he popped the baby.
Then he stacked the rest of the
window with such infant
P HOTO: THI NKSTOCK
items as nursing bottles,

diapers, powder.
In a few moments a crowd
had collected. The spectators
smiled at the baby and the
L I F E ’ S L I K E T H AT
STICK WITH IT, GRAMPS

None of my grandsons share my
corny sense of humour. When the
family is eating lasagne, I say, “Lean The Great Tweet-off:
over your plate, boys. You’ll get less- New Year’s Edition
on-ya.”
My New Year’s resolution was to stop
I say to the ten-year-old, “Don’t
tweeting.
yell through the screen door; you’ll
ALBERT BROOKS (@ALBERTBROOKS)
strain your voice.”
And when I took another My New Year’s resolution? To be less
grandson to the zoo, I asked, “Do laz. JIM GAFFIGAN (@JIMGAFFIGAN)
you know why that snake’s not
pressed against the glass? He doesn’t My New Years resolution is to stop
want to be a windshield viper.” smoking, cursing and drinking. Darn,
They’ll probably laugh later. I left my GD cigs in the bar.
SUBMITTED BY HOMER ADAMS
#oneoutofthreeaintbad.
COLIN QUINN (@IAMCOLINQUINN)
IF TRUE, AMAZING
If you’re thinking of tweeting the ten-
As we waited for a bus in the frosty second countdown to midnight, I have
weather, the woman next to me a resolution for you: maybe a little less
mentioned that she makes a lot of twitter this year.
mistakes when texting in the cold. CART
TER BAYS (@CARTERBAYS)
I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early
signs of typothermia.” Forgott to make
SUBMITTED BY PHIL NOYES
resoluttions?
PIECE BY PIECE Just write out
My three-year-old sat in everything
the bathroom with me, you didd last
watching as I removed my night and
a
dentures and brushed at the
them. After a few beginnning
S
minutes, he add the

word
I
asked, “Can you

take your ears off “stop”..
E
:
too?” SUBMITTED BY S.W. PETE HOLMES

T
(@PETEH
HOLMES)
READER’S DIGEST
GUN SALESMAN
My husband and TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
I couldn’t decide This classified ad speaks
which jacket to buy volumes: “Wanted
our granddaughter, so we
asked the young salesman.
to buy: playpen,
“If you were buying a jacket for cradle, high
your girlfriend,” I said, “what would chair; also two
you get?” single beds.”
“A bulletproof one,” he said. “I’m
SUBMITTED BY MATTHEW COLE
married.”
SUBMITTED BY JOHN CANUTESON
ON THE CASE
A RIOT OF READERS Recently I woke up to find that two
A pride of lions, a gaggle of geese, of my car’s tyres had been stolen.
a parliament of owls – we asked RD When the police officer arrived,
readers to come up with a few he asked, “When were you last
collective nouns of their own. These driving the car?”
were a crush of our favourites: “Last night at 11pm,” I said.
Q A brace of orthodontists. “And the tyres were on it then?”
RUSSELL COFER SUBMITTED BY JEREMY RICE
Q A sulk of teenagers; a bogey of
monsters; a chord of musicians. WHAT ARE THE ODDS?
ANDREA DEFUSCO-SULLIVAN I am an American in China and
Q A slew of assassins. I arranged a meeting with a guy
ELIZABETH SILVERTHORN from Germany. I go to his hotel.
Q A muddle of managers. He says, “I’m coming down in the
STEVE SEYARTO elevator.” The elevator opens and
Q A lot of parking attendants. R.M. the only western face I see is a guy
Q A string of bikinis; a piddle of looking for me – or so I thought.
puppies. L.M. He introduces himself with a thick
accent. We talked for half an hour
CLICK TO PROCEED before we both figured out that we
PHOTO: GETTY I MAGES
I’d like the window that were supposed to be meeting other

says “Are you sure you want businesspersons. And, yep, there
to do this? OK/Cancel” to they were in the elevator area
pop up less often on my waiting for us… another American
computer and more in my real life. and a German. Go figure!
@AARONFULLERTON ON TWITTER SEEN ON REDDIT
SCIENCE
How two men playing with sticky tape

found something truly amazing
The
Future
just got
BY L I SA C L AU S E N
F R O M T H E G OOD
WEEKEND
WorldMags.net
Graphene:
a simple
structure with
extraordinary
possibilities
WorldMags.net
M AT E R I A L O F T H E F U T U R E
Three clear bottles stand like trophies arranged in a dazzlingly perfect

on an otherwise empty shelf in honeycomb pattern. Their playful-
Professor Dan Li’s office at Monash ness was to win them the Nobel Prize
University, in Melbourne, Australia. in Physics in 2010.
Two are filled with powder the colour “No-one really thought [releas-
of midnight, while the third contains ing graphene] was possible,” said the
a lump of silver-grey rock. They’re all Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences.
forms of graphite, a type of coal we all “Carbon, the basis of all known life on
rely on, whether it’s in brake lining, Earth, has surprised us once again.”
batteries or pencils. But that’s not why
Li has the bottles displayed behind his The Thinnest Material
desk. Among scientists like Li, graphite Since then, the surprises have kept
is now celebrated as the source of gra- coming, as graphene continues to
phene, the phenomenal new material show just how much it may be capable
researchers, governments and corpo- of. For starters, it’s the world’s thinnest
rations are betting could transform a material – with a sheet of graphene just
multitude of industries, from electron- an atom thick, it’s a two-dimensional
ics to renewable energy. material. You’d need
Scientists had long three million sheets to
suspected graphite A stack of three make a stack 1mm high.
contained something It’s very flexible, yet
interesting. But while
million sheets harder than diamond
they knew this smudgy, is just 1mm thick and 200 times stronger
light rock was com- – yet graphene than steel; it is so
posed of stacks of gra- strong, Columbia Uni-
phene sheets, none of is 200 times versity researchers once
the brilliant minds work- stronger than calculated it would take
ing on it could figure out steel an elephant balanced
how to isolate a single on a pencil to break
sheet, let alone manipu- through a layer of gra-
late it. Then, in 2004, University of phene as thick as plastic food wrap. It
Manchester physicists Andre Geim is practically transparent, so dense that
and Konstantin Novoselov had an in- not even the smallest gas atoms can
spired idea. penetrate it, and it conducts electricity
Taking a block of graphite, the pair and heat beautifully.
simply began stripping off flakes with While other commonly used materi-
sticky tape. They ended up with micro als such as silicon can match graphene
flakes of a completely new material, in maybe one or two ways, what makes
vanishingly thin, the carbon atoms graphene so special is that it brings so
READER’S DIGEST
many desirable quali-

ties together in one
package. In short, it
seems to have it all.
Skinny TVs
So what might this
marvellous mate-
rial give us? Some say
transparent, super-
thin computer and TV
display screens that can
be rolled up and put University of Manchester physicists and 2010 Nobel Prize
away. Slimmer, faster winners Andre Geim (left) and Konstantin Novoselov
phones that recharge
in seconds. Smaller, fascinated by its potential for bio-
speedier computer chips. medical tools, optics and plastics
“It’s beyond our comprehension of reinforcement (such as building
what is possible,” says Cathy Foley, lighter, hardier aircraft or satellites),
chief of the Australian government’s as well as creating high-performing
CSIRO Materials Science and En- solar cells and electric vehicles, and
gineering Division. “There will be next-generation filters for water puri-
changes that will blow us away.” fication and desalination. Defence in-
Graphene also has researchers dustries are pursuing graphene-based
FAST FACTS ABOUT GRAPHENE

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ultra-sensitive gas and chemical sen- limited,” says Dan Li, who leads a team
sors, while the Bill and Melinda Gates of ten. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t
Foundation recently funded projects do something unique.”
using graphene to make stronger, thin- A cheerful man with rapid-fire
ner condoms. speech, Li is one of Australia’s lead-
ing researchers in graphene, a field he
Building Super Batteries entered after arriving in Australia on
With such prizes on offer, scrutiny a fellowship from the US in 2006. “I
of graphene is intense. In 2004, the wasn’t that optimistic about graphene
year Geim and Novoselov had their at first,” he admits. “A lot of promising
Eureka moment, fewer than 500 materials never make it to market.”
scientific papers on graphene were While most researchers have fo-
published. In 2012, there were almost cused on individual graphene sheets,
9000. Thousands of patents have been Li is on a quest to use these sheets as
issued, and while few graphene-based molecular “bricks”, assembling them
devices are yet a reality, corporations in different ways to create new ma-
such as Samsung are racing to control terials and devices infused with gra-
the market. The European Union last phene’s talents. He likens graphene
year committed €1 billion to its multi- to a world-beating athlete – extra-
nation research efforts. ordinary on its own and capable of as
“Our funding pool is much more yet unimagined feats when teamed
up with other materials. But as an
engineer he knows that architecture
is everything. “You could have the
strongest bricks, but that doesn’t nec-
essarily mean you’ll end up with the
strongest building – it depends on
how all the components interact.”
Having already come up with a
simple, ground-breaking technique
for separating graphene sheets using
just water and a series of chemical re-
actions, Li’s team’s latest success has
been in the area of supercapacitors,
specialised batteries already used in
Graphene foam digital camera flashes, laptops and
is light enough to hybrid electric vehicles. Their flaw
balance on petals has always been their bulky size and
regular need for recharging; using a
READER’S DIGEST
graphene-based gel Li and his team two sheets of graphene – about 25,000
have been able to produce super- times thinner than a human hair – on
capacitors in the lab that can store a biopolymer (a naturally produced
triple the amount of energy in a much large molecule, such as cellulose or
smaller, and hence cheaper, package. DNA), they hope to create a device to
“It’s kind of an impossible thing implant in the brains of people with
to do, but now we can do it,” says Li. epilepsy. The plan is that its graphene
Since publishing results electrodes could detect
in 2013, they’ve been an impending seizure
swamped with enquiries Researchers are and trigger the release of
from around the world. anti-seizure medication.
working on Researchers last year
New Bones applying also devised a way of
and Aircraft graphene using textile techniques
Li and his team are also to spin nano-fibres of
working with Australian
in nerve graphene, designed to
and Chinese researchers regeneration for give super-strength to
to use graphene in bone damaged limbs materials used in bullet-
and tissue regeneration, proof vests and aircraft
harnessing its super- fuselages. They’re work-
conductivity to deliver electrical stimu- ing, too, on applying graphene in nerve
lation for cell growth. They’ve also pat- regeneration for damaged limbs.
ented a graphene-based foam which,
by mimicking the natural structure of Harnessing the Future
cork, is super elastic and lighter than Professor Gordon Wallace, executive
air but able to support objects up to research director of the Australian Re-
50,000 times its own weight. Blended search Council Centre of Excellence for
with other materials, such as plastics, Electromaterials Science, says while
it could vastly improve toughness and the scientific community is taking a
heat resistance. wait-and-see approach, the excitement
Li, who has received several fellow- around graphene is more than hype.
ships for his work and is now looking “The question is whether we, as scien-
to the private sector for commercial tists, technologists and engineers, can
čƫ ƫ
partners, has a preference for graphene take its amazing properties from the
projects with a social dividend. “I want nanomaterial world to the level of mac-
to get something useful out there into roscopic devices,” he says. “And that’s
the real world.” not graphene’s challenge – it’s ours.”
University of Wollongong research- Graphene is not giving up all its
ers also have high hopes. By placing secrets easily. Electrons surge through
it at a constant speed of a million to the lab, where he subjected less

metres per second – yet it’s not fully than a gram to plasma testing, pelting
understood how they can be guided. it with highly charged ions to purify
Moving from the nanoscale to the it down to its basic carbon structure.
commercial scale remains hugely com- The Plasma Nanoscience team he’s
plex. Making enough of it is still tricky. part of can now create a 1cm x 1cm
“We want to be able to press a button sheet of graphene in nine minutes.
and have kilometres of the stuff come While not everyone is convinced, Seo
out,” says Foley. At the moment, most says they have already used honey-
processes used to obtain graphene derived graphene in a gas sensor and
take hours or days, involve toxic ingre- butter-derived graphene in a battery.
dients or only produce small amounts, “We know it works in the lab.”
not the mass quantities consumer In the meantime, Australia has
products would need. graphite deposits, and several
companies keen to begin mining.
Making Graphene With world graphite prices rising,
From Honey high-quality deposits are ripe for
One group of CSIRO researchers development.
thinks they’ve solved that conun- Professor Wallace says he’d love to
drum, in part thanks to a bad cold. In use local graphite. It’s one way, he says,
2011, PhD student Donghan Seo was in which Australia has the chance to
at home nursing a cold with lemon help shape the era of graphene.
and honey tea and reading the Bible. “But the window of opportunity for
When he came to Exodus, which that is not going to be there forever,” he
talks of “a land flowing with milk and says. “We need to get that alignment of
honey”, he had his own epiphany. the mining opportunities with the
“I suddenly thought, why wouldn’t technical expertise, from graphite to
honey work in making graphene? I graphene to graphene-based devices,
had a strong religious feeling that it as quickly as possible. We won’t be the
would work, and from a scientific only people thinking of doing that –
point of view it made sense.” but we have to be nimble enough to
The next day, he took some honey be the first.”
GOOD WEEKENDƫĨ
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NEW DEFINITIONS FOR OLD WORDS
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Nicotine: + ..!/0 5+10$ċ
FROM THE UXBRIDGE ENGLISH DICTIONARY
Quotable Quotes
ALL OF US EVERY SINGLE
Work is the greatest YEAR, WE’RE A DIFFERENT
thing in the world, so PERSON. I DON’T THINK
we should always save WE’RE THE SAME PERSON
some of it for tomorrow. ALL OUR LIVES.
D O N H E R O LD, h u m o u r i s t
STE VE N S P I E LB E RG
Big doesn’t
I DON’T KNOW WHY I SHOULD HAVE necessarily mean
better. Sunflowers
TO LEARN ALGEBRA … I’M NEVER aren’t better than
LIKELY TO GO THERE. B I LLY CO N N O LLY violets.
EDNA FERBER, author
My heroes are Larry Bird, Admiral Byrd,

Lady Bird, Sheryl Crow, Chick Corea, the
inventor of birdseed, and anyone who
reads to you even if she’s tired. B I G B I R D
WHEN THE WINDS A mirror becomes

OF CHANGE BLOW, a razor when it’s
broken. A stick
SOME PEOPLE BUILD becomes a
WALLS. OTHERS flute when
BUILD WINDMILLS. it’s loved.
CH I N E S E P ROV E R B YO KO O N O
New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more

gladly, provided this does not encourage them to
take up more of my time. JA M E S AGATE , t h e a t r e c r i t i c
CHEAT SHEET
BY HA ZEL FLYN N
E-SPORTS
START AT THE BEGINNING
Playing video games competitively is now a real job.
Players can earn six-figure incomes boosted by big-name
sponsorships. They compete, watched by thousands of
fans in arenas, with millions more following online. L
TELL ME MORE
In 2014, 40 years after the first known tournament
(playing Spacewar at the US’s Stanford University)
offered a magazine subscription as first prize, the
world championship for Dota 2 had a total crowd-
funded prize pool of almost US$11 million and
10,000 fans watched live as Chinese team Newbee
won the US$5 million first prize.
Last year also saw the first dedicated e-sports
arenas open in the US and the announcement of
a 15,000-seater e-sports stadium in China; the
introduction of e-TV sports coverage by sport
network ESPN; and the launch of US$450,000
worth of e-sports scholarships by Chicago’s
Robert Morris University.
WHY DO I CARE? IS THERE A

If you’re over 40 you probably don’t, directly, DOWNSIDE?
unless you happen to be a fanatical player of
It’s an intense and
PHOTO : GETTY IM AGES
the most popular e-sports games including

demanding life for
StarCraft, Call of Duty, Counter-Strike,
players. Competition
League of Legends or Dota 2. But your
is fierce and all-
children or grandchildren do. They know
consuming and players
the players by their gaming handles
train for 12 to 14 hours a
(“Fatal1ty”, “Moon”, “Dendi”, etc) and hope
day. The career of most
to follow their heroes into a gaming career.
will be over by their
mid-20s.
I N ST
A N SWA N T
ERS
$20
BILLION:
amount by which US$970
annual global revenue MILLION:
from e-games is now what Amazon paid in
greater than global music August 2014 for the gaming site
industry revenue Twitch
“Obviously it’s
WHAT not cardiovascular in
HAPPENS any way, but it’s mental.
NEXT? There are elements
30
E-sports will that go into it that are just
continue to like any other sport”
grow at a
KURT MELCHER, ASSOCIATE
phenomenal
rate.
ATHLETIC DIRECTOR AT
ROBERT MORRIS
MILLION:
UNIVERSITY
live online
audiences
for major
tournaments
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WHO KNEW?
Fun Facts About

Colour BY ALIS O N CAP O RIM O
Why Soccer Balls know why Washington opted for that

are Black and White hue, the history behind the colour
Turns out the sports staple was made purple’s regal reputation dates back to
for TV. For the 1970 World Cup in the 15th century BC, when ancient
Mexico – broadcast around the Mediterranean clothiers created the
world on television – Adidas created shade from sea snail secretions in a
the iconic black-and-white panelled long and expensive process. The cost
ball, intended to catch the eyes of meant the colour became a symbol of
viewers better than a single-coloured wealth and power.
one would as it moved across still-
common black-and-white TV Why Surrender Flags
screens. The black pentagons also are White
helped players and referees recognise Some believe the peacemaking
the swerve and flight of the ball. symbol comes from the bland garb
of ancient times. Soldiers and
PROP STYLIST: LINDA KEIL FOR HA LLEY RESOURC ES

Why the US Purple Heart civilians alike had white underclothes
Medal is Purple handy, and since they were highly
The Purple Heart is the first US visible against neutral backgrounds,
military decoration and is awarded the clothes could be waved to easily
for bravery in action. When the convey passivity.
governing body of the US during the
American Revolution forbade George Why Some Taxis are Yellow
Washington from promoting soldiers, If you hailed a New York cab in 1905,
the revered general got crafty. On a car painted red and green would
August 7, 1782, he established the screech to a halt before you. So how
Badge of Military Merit: a purple did the colour change from two-tone
cloth or silk heart to be worn over a to bumblebee-bright? In 1907, Albert
soldier’s left breast and signify an Rockwell created a taxi with an
elevated status. While it’s hard to innovative 15-horsepower engine at
his car company. Legend has it that Chewing Gum Company when
his wife suggested the cars be painted employee Walter Diemer
yellow. By 1909, yellow taxis were experimented in 1928 with a new
zipping around New York, courtesy of gum recipe – as he liked to do in his
Rockwell’s cab company. spare time. The 23-year-old created a
less sticky and more flexible formula
Why Bubble Gum is Pink that resulted in bigger bubbles. He
Fate would have it that hot pink dye poured pink dye into the batch, and
was readily available at the Fleer a global oral fixation was born.
F U N FA C T S A B O U T C O L O U R
Why are US “Greenbacks” given to the passenger ship making

Green? the fastest transatlantic crossing.
When small currency banknotes Scholars speculate that over time, the
were introduced in 1929, the US spelling blue riband was changed to
Bureau of Engraving and Printing blue ribbon, serving as a symbol of
opted to use green ink because the general excellence.
colour was relatively high in its
resistance to chemical and physical Why a Matador’s Cape
changes. Also, at the time, green is Red
pigment was available in large Bulls charge at the sight of red, right?
quantities for quick printing. Wrong. Bulls are colour-blind. Thus,
Today’s “greenbacks” incorporate a fighting bull is likely enraged by the
shades of purple, yellow and grey cape’s quick movement instead of its
to deter counterfeiters. colour. So why the bold hue? Some
say it helps mask one of the more
Why Karate Belts are Black gruesome aspects of a bullfight:
There are a lot of myths surrounding splatters of the animal’s blood.
the martial arts’ most prestigious
designation. The most likely story, Why Brides Wear White
however, claims that white belts used The classic white dress came from
to be dyed to a new colour upon a a European fashion trend. In 1840,
student’s advancement to a higher England’s Queen Victoria donned a
level. Hence the increasingly darker white lace gown to marry Albert of
order: white, yellow, orange, green, Saxe-Coburg. At the time, brides
blue, purple, brown, red and black. were married in any colour – even
black was popular. The Queen’s
Why First-Place Ribbons choice, however, quickly inspired
are Blue other brides to opt for white. Within
Some scholars say we have an old the decade, popular Godey’s Lady’s
nautical award to thank. In the 1860s, Book decreed: “Custom has decided
the Blue Riband – a pennant flown that white is the most fitting hue for
from a ship’s mast – was an accolade a wedding.”
WATER WISE
You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE
That’s Outrageous!
NOT ACCORDING TO PLAN
AN AMERICAN she swallowed her

renovator decided to shiny bauble.
save money by painting Source: thedenverchannel.com
the exterior of his house

himself. First he took off A BANK CUSTOMER
the old layer of paint in the US was waiting
with a blowtorch. in line when he saw
UNFORTUNATELY … another man in the
He successfully removed queue carrying a gun.
the paint, but he also Not wanting to spook
removed much of the the gunman, he
house when it went up slipped the teller a
in flames. Source: wbay.com note, informing her.
UNFORTUNATELY … The bank teller
TENS OF THOUSANDS of people thought the customer was saying he
packed St Peter’s Square in Vatican had a weapon; she had him arrested.
City to hear Pope Francis pray for As for the man with the gun – he had
peace in Ukraine. The ceremony a permit to carry it. Source: courant.com
was topped by the release of two

white peace doves. A RUSSIAN WOMAN named
UNFORTUNATELY … A seagull Natalya was 130,000 roubles
and a crow attacked the symbols in debt, so she did what any
of peace. Source: Associated Press reasonable person would do to get
out of paying it: she had a sex-change
I LLUSTRATI ON: NI SHANT CHOKS I
HOW DID A CLUB in Florida, operation. “Andrian” got a new

US, get people to participate in a passport and even managed to
charity event? By plying them with borrow more money.
champagne and the chance to win UNFORTUNATELY … Andrian is
a $5000 diamond. If that weren’t fun now on the run, but he can’t get
enough, the lucky winner would find off that easily, said authorities.
the shiny bauble in her bubbly! “If a debtor thinks he can escape
UNFORTUNATELY … When the lucky that way, he’s very much mistaken,”
winner drank her flute of bubbly, said a Russian bailiff. Source: dailystar.co.uk
LIFESTYLE
Get
Coo k i ng BY KATH RYN ELLIOTT
So you want to upgrade your kitchen

skills? It’s the easiest, healthiest, most
entertaining adventure you can have
without leaving home
I
t can happen at any time, without warning – suddenly
your tried-and-true repertoire of home-cooked meals
becomes boring. You can’t find the momentum to get
excited about cooking anything. Still, you know full well
that research shows that home-cooked food is healthier
and cheaper. So, motivated by this good sense, you go out
and purchase multiple cookbooks and magazines, then
watch countless cooking shows. But when it comes to the
crunch, you just don’t seem to know how to get started.
The cooking mojo you once enjoyed is gone.
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GET COOKING
The good news is that help is at occasionally. Don’t worry if dinner

hand. Regardless of whether you’re goes badly, but instead try to learn
an empty nester, newly solo or from your mistakes.
cooking for a family, if you want to Q Stop buying recipe books and start
cook but are baffled about where to cooking. Cooking is a skill and the
start upskilling and expanding your only way you’ll improve is by actually
menu, don’t worry as we have a no- experimenting with your cooking.
nonsense guide on how to get you Stop putting it off, make a commit-
cooking again. ment and start today.
Cooking – and enjoying it – requires Q Master five recipes. Make a list of
confidence. Building confidence five new meals you’d like to cook and
depends on trying new cuisines, start there. Cook each a few times,
techniques and flavours. But before until you feel comfortable, before
setting out, consider this three-point moving on.
OS: (P REVIOUS S PREA D) GETTY I MAGES ; (TH IS SPREAD) GETTY IM AG E S, THIINKSTOCK )

strategy to settle your doubts and help
stay positive: Cooking for One?
Q Accept that failures will happen Cooking for one is a challenge. How
and that even the best cooks mess up to make healthy and delicious meals,
while minimising washing up and
waste? It isn’t as hard as you think …
' Buy only what you need. While
large packs seem a better deal, when
grocery shopping, think about what
you can actually eat before the pro-
duce perishes. Ignore the value packs
and only buy what you need.
'Learn how to cook with eggs. Eggs
can make a meal happen in a flash
and are perfect when cooking for one.
Toss baby English spinach into scram-
bled eggs; top steamed vegetables
with a poached egg; use leftovers to
make a frittata or omelette; or boil
some eggs and add them to a salad.
' Freeze individual portions for
lunch or dinner. Sometimes, rather
than cooking for one it’s just as easy
P HOTOS:
to cook a larger meal and freeze the

leftovers in single portions. There are
READER’S DIGEST
5 Kitchen Essentials
An amazing number of meals
can be cooked with minimal You want low-fuss
cooking equipment: ways to add flavour
1. Sharp knife Don’t buy a knife set. and complexity to your
Instead, invest in one good knife. You
will not regret it. meals. Spice mixes can
2. Large high-sided frying pan You be used in marinades,
can cook virtually anything in this pan:
sauce, omelette or stir-fry, braise
rubs, soups and stews
vegetables and many cuts of meat. If
your pan has heat-proof handles, it also countless leftover ingredi-
can even double as a roasting pan and
ents you can freeze to help avoid
casserole dish.
waste, such as milk, pasta sauce,
3. Chopping hummus, fresh herbs, garlic,
board Buy a pesto, tasty cheese and so on.
wooden or
plastic board and
keep one side for
Empty Nesters?
meat and fish and When the kids leave home many
the other for people struggle to re-find their
vegetables and love for cooking, now there are
produce, to prevent cross-contamination. fewer mouths to feed. Sound
4. Forks and spoons Wooden
familiar? Try these tips:
and other large stirring ' Tu r n we e k n i g h t s i n to a
spoons are useful, but not wonder. Firing up the barbecue
necessary. Most of the time is an easy and quick way to cook
I use table forks and spoons dinner. One of you can cook,
for stirring and tasting. while the other makes a salad,
5. Measuring cups and spoons meaning the meal preparation is
Standard-sized measuring cups shared. Plus, a barbecue requires
and spoons are invaluable. They’ll minimal washing up.
help you measure accurately, 'Spice up your dinner routine.
which increases the likeliho Now you’re cooking for fewer
cessful cook ng. people you want low-fuss ways
to add flavour and complexity to
your meals. Spice mixes, such as
chermoula and garam masala, are
perfect for this and can be used in
marinades, rubs, soups and stews.
GET COOKING
Top 5 Cooking Cheats

Here are my top five ways to add
depth of flavour, speed up the
cooking and minimise washing up:
1. Secret ingredient If your food is

tasting bland, then adding a dash
of shoyu (the Japanese-style soy
sauce) can impart a rich and
complex flavour. Use this in many
soups, sauces and stews.
2. Forget about peeling I rarely
peel anything and it’s a real time
saver. Leave the skin on most fruit
and vegetables, just giving each a
scrub with a nail brush or vegetable
scrubber before cooking.
3. Make the salad dressing in your
salad bowl This is a neat trick
I learnt from Jamie Oliver. Prepare
' Cooking with fish isn’t difficult. a dressing in the base of your salad
Many home cooks are a bit scared of bowl, add the ingredients on top,
but only toss together just before
cooking fish, however, it’s one of the
serving. Your salad won’t turn
easiest and fastest foods to prepare. soggy and you’ve saved on
Barbecuing a whole fish, cooking it in washing up by only using one bowl.
parcels in the oven, or a fish curry are
4. Use frozen vegetables Having a
all perfect meals for empty nesters.
few bags of mixed vegetables in
the freezer can save on preparation
Can’t Cook, Never time, as they’re already cut up and
Cooked? ready to go.
Nobody is born knowing how to cook
5. Learn to multi-task Most how-to-
– instead it’s a skill you develop over
cook guides suggest you prep all
P HOTO: GETTY IMAGES
time. Here’s how to leap into the the ingredients in advance, but this
unknown: is a slow and laborious way of
' Get into the habit of prepar- cooking. Instead, as you get more
ing your own food. If you’ve never confident you’ll learn to prep as
cooked regularly it can seem daunt- you go, which saves time.
ing, so start by making your breakfast

READER’S DIGEST
cooking time slightly, add extra black

Leave the skin on pepper, or try a different cut of meat.
You’ll learn a lot from this process.
most fruit and vegetables,
just giving each a scrub Bored With the Same
with a nail brush or Old, Same Old?
If you used to cook a lot but got bored
vegetable scrubber – it’s of the relentless chore of producing
a real time saver meal after meal, getting back into
cooking can be a different challenge.
But there are ways to camouflage the
every day. This can be something chore hidden within:
simple, which requires no actual ' Involve somebody else in your
cooking at all – but get into the habit household cooking. It’s hard to remain
of preparing your own food. motivated when you’re cooking every
' Learn how to make a salad. When day, so take a night (or three) off and
you’re more comfortable, try making a get your partner, kids or even grand-
salad. Again, start simple: wash some kids to cook. They don’t have to make
leaves, chop up a few vegetables and anything complicated, but not having
add a pre-made dressing. Try different to cook every single day is a great way
vegetables and flavours to see what to recharge your kitchen engine.
you like. ' Start testing out new recipes.
' Master the art of cooking one Cooking the same meals every week
thing. Invest in a wide-based frying simplifies planning and saves time,
pan and teach yourself how to however it can also become really
cook one thing – the perfect steak, boring. So, pick one night a week or
chicken, a fillet of fish or some tofu. month to try out something new. Make
Follow a recipe, but if the food isn’t this into a special dinner, set the table
quite right for your tastebuds, make and sit down together to enjoy your
small changes, for example adjust the new meal.
NEVER ...
“… do anything you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedic.” SHANNON RYAN
“… go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” ERMA BOMBECK
“... hurry and never worry!” E.B. WHITE
FROM NEVERISMS, © 2011 MARDY GROTHE; PUBLISHED BY HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS

REAL-LIFE DRAMAS
The odds of surviving even the most serious plane crash

are 76%. The odds of being the only one left alive are
infinitesimal. This is what it’s like to be the ...
Survivor
BY JE FF W I S E
ON JUNE 30, 2009, French schoolgirl Bahia

Bakari, 12, and her mother, Aziza Aboudou,
33, were aboard a packed Airbus A310 on
their way to Comoros, a group of islands
off the eastern coast of Africa, to visit
family for the summer. Minutes from
touchdown, Yemenia Flight 626 shook
violently in the swirling 65km/h winds;
the lights flickered, the engine stalled,
and the plane, holding 142 passengers
and 11 crew members, plunged into the
Indian Ocean, breaking apart on impact.
ILLUSTRATION: BRYAN CHRISTIE DESIGN
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The illuminated area
represents where passenger
George Lamson Jr was seated
when Galaxy Airlines Flight 203
crashed, killing 70 people
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SOLE SURVIVOR
Bahia was ejected from the plane. With no life vest, food or drinking water,
she clung to a piece of wreckage for nine hours until a sailor from a private
rescue boat plucked her from the ocean. Days later, as she recovered from her
wounds in a Paris hospital, a psychologist shared unlikely news: Bahia was the
only survivor of the disaster.
Call it a miracle, coincidence, or luck – the distinction of only one left alive is a
heavy weight, says Ky Dickens, 36, whose 2013 documentary film Sole Survivor
tells the stories of several plane-crash survivors.
“They feel an incredible amount of pressure,” says Dickens, a survivor of
a car crash in her teen years that killed several of her friends. Drawn to the
topic partly because of her personal experience, Dickens contacted George
Lamson Jr, a passenger on a plane that crashed, killing everyone else on board,
including his father, and enlisted him to help other survivors share their stories
with the world. Says Dickens, “Naturally they wonder, Was I spared for a reason?
Am I supposed to do something amazing?”
Here Lamson Jr and Annette Herfkens and Jim Polehinke, two sole survivors
from other crashes, describe what they live with every day as members of a
tiny club they never sought to be part of, but are very fortunate to have joined.
SURVIVOR: George Lamson Jr

đ Date: 21/1/1985 đ Flight: Galaxy Airlines 203 đ From: Reno, US
đ To: Minneapolis đ On board: 71 đ Crew deaths: 6 đ Passenger deaths: 64
đ The flight crew had significantly reduced power to the engine to eliminate
unusual vibrations. The captain lost control of the aircraft, sending it plunging
into a recreational vehicle (RV) sales lot near downtown Reno.
AFTER MY FATHER and After takeoff, everything seemed

I found our seats, I set- smooth at first. Then we hit turbu-
tled in and tried to sleep. lence, and the plane started to bank
P HOTOS: GREGORY REI D
Pretty soon, two men to the right. It didn’t seem serious,

came up to us and said, “Hey, you’re but as I was looking out the window,
in our seats.” That wasn’t true, but my I could see we were losing altitude
dad said OK, and we switched seats pretty quickly. Over the loudspeaker,
with them. Our new seats were in the the pilot said that we were going
first row right behind a bulkhead. down. It must have been five to ten

READER’S DIGEST
seconds before we hit the ground. We survivor. He had third-degree burns

hit three times, and the third time the all over his body. His skin was black
plane hit an RV lot and broke apart. from the fire. I said to him, “I can’t
It was going about 225km/h. I was believe I couldn’t find anybody. Here
thrown more than 10m onto a street we are, still alive and talking.” And his
near downtown Reno. answer was, “There’s nobody.” I didn’t
The wreckage was on fire, and I think he was that hurt, but once we
searched through it trying to find were getting treated, I remember him
anybody alive. One memory I can’t yelling in pain from all his burns. He
shake is of finding the man who took died a few days later.
my seat. He was lying out in the field, I have a hard time explaining to
facing the fire, and I people how overwhelmingly sad and
could see his eyes were dark this whole thing was. When they
open. I went to him first meet you, people will look at you
trying to help, but I and think that you’re special. They’ll
realised he was dead. say, “Wow, you’re amazing; you were
If I hadn’t switched able to live through this.”
seats, that would have Unless you’ve gone through an
been me. experience like this, it’s not possi-
After the ambu- ble to truly understand. You’ve seen
lances arrived, they a massive loss of life, and you’re
took me to the hos- standing in the midst of it wondering,
pital with another Why the hell am I here? Why are all
these people man-
gled? Why are all
these people dead?
After I got out
of the hospital,
I went home.
I finished high
school and started
college. I had a
Lamson Jr, 17 and a

high school senior
at the time of the
crash, sustained
only minor injuries

SOLE SURVIVOR
future. I’d always imagined that I’d of the passengers aboard my flight.
get a degree, maybe join the Air I was really dreading the meetings.
Force and become a pilot. When the I felt physically ill as I drove to the
holidays hit after my first semester of first family member’s house in Minne-
college, it sunk in that things weren’t apolis. Sarah had lost her mother, her
going to be the same again, because father, and two grandparents on that
I didn’t have my father anymore. My flight. She was six years old when it
mother and my sister were having a happened. I thought about how trau-
very hard time dealing matic that must have
with the loss. I made it been for her.
through the holidays as When I got to her
best as I could, and then I sensed the house, I walked in, I
I went back to school. presence of her gave her a hug, and we
But then the Challenger made some small talk.
disaster happened, family. It gave Then we sat down at her
and it triggered me me a wonderful kitchen table, and she
into a depressed state. handed me a photo of
I dropped out of col- feeling of relief her father and mother.
lege and later moved to and love That was the moment
Reno. Today I work in a ever ything changed.
casino as a dealer. This sounds weird, but I
Compared with the sensed the presence of
plans I’d had when I was younger, my her family in the room. I felt like they
life feels like it has come up short. I were standing right by her and smiling.
imagined that the family members of It felt like I was forgiven for not letting
the people who died would say, “Look my life be as perfect as it should have
at this guy – he got a second chance been. She was happy to see me, and I
at life. I lost my dear husband, I lost was happy to see her. I was looking at
my dear son, I lost my dad. Why is a picture of her when she was six years
this guy alive? He’s not even doing old, and I was seeing her in front of
anything major with his life. I know me, in her 30s, and I was in tears. I felt
my dad would have done something; like I was with the family. It was a
I know my brother would have done wonderful, authentic feeling of relief
something.” I suppressed a lot of this, and love. It felt really good.
and it would come back and bite me
with depression or fits of anger. It was After moving to Reno in the ’90s,
very hard to cope with. Lamson Jr married and had a daughter,
In July 2010, I made a trip to Minne- now 18 years old. He and his daughter
sota to meet with the families of three still live in Reno.

READER’S DIGEST
SURVIVOR: Annette Herfkens

đ Date: 14/11/1992 đ Flight: Vietnam Airlines 474 đ From: Ho Chi Minh City,
Vietnam đ To: Cam Ranh, Vietnam đ On board: 31 đ Crew deaths: 6
đ Passenger deaths: 24 đ After flying into a tropical storm, pilots lost control
of the three-engine airliner, and it struck the ridge of a mountain.
F R OM H ER BO O K, scattered all around me, and people

TU R B U L EN C E :
A TRUE SU R V I V AL S T O R Y
were moaning in pain. A very kind
Vietnamese man assured me that help
WE WERE 49 MINUTES would arrive soon. “I am a very impor-
into a 55-minute flight when the plane tant man,” he said. “They will come
made a tremendous lurch. I told my for me.” Over the next few hours, his
fiancé, Pasje, “Don’t worry. It’s just breathing grew weaker. I saw the life
an air pocket.” Then we dropped go out of him. He closed his eyes and
again, and people started screaming. was gone. There was no more sound
I reached for Pasje’s hand. That’s the or movement from anyone. I have
last thing I remember. never been so alone.
I later learned that the plane had For eight days, I lay on the jungle
hit a ridge at more than 480km/h. floor, waiting. Leeches covered my
One wing ripped off, and the rest of hands. My feet were swollen to twice
the plane crashed into the side of the their normal size, and my toes turned
next mountain. When I woke up, I was black. I had nothing to drink, but
still inside the plane, pinned under a when it rained, I was able to squeeze
dead body. Pasje’s seat had flipped some water from my wet T-shirt and
backwards, and he was lying on it with pieces of aircraft insulation into my
a sweet little smile on his lips, dead. mouth. The body of the man next to
I could see jungle greenery through me began to decompose, so I used
a hole in the cabin where the cock- my elbows to pull myself to another
pit used to be. I had gaping wounds spot. The crash had made a clearing,
all over my body. Ten centimetres of and I could see a mountain rising in
bluish bone were sticking out of my the distance. I felt like I was one with
shin. When I tried to move, I felt an the beauty and the process of decay
excruciating pain in my hips. around me.
Somehow I managed to get out Finally, on the eighth day, a group
of the plane. Dead bodies were of Vietnamese men arrived and

SOLE SURVIVOR
carried me down the mountain on a flown to a hospital in Singapore. Two

piece of canvas slung beneath a stick. weeks later, I was flown back to my
The journey took so long that we had native Holland, where doctors took
to spend another night camped in the skin grafts from my thigh to cover the
jungle. Then we reached a village, wound on my shin and checked four
and I was driven to a hospital in Ho pins that had been inserted into my
Chi Minh City. The next day, I was broken jaw. I was in constant pain.
Two and a half months after the
crash, I returned to my job as an
international bond trader and my
home in Madrid. Being alone again
in my apartment, I was hit by Pasje’s
absence in a way I hadn’t been before.
My Pasje – my compass, my alter ego –
was gone. Bitter thoughts ran through
my head day after day. I was angry –
angry at death, angry at life, at all my
unmet expectations.
After the accident, I spent most of
my energy on appearing the same
as my old self, the same as my
peers. Perhaps I did this to comfort
Herfkens, 31,
in a Singapore
hospital ten
days after her
rescue
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READER’S DIGEST
others, perhaps to comfort myself. claustrophobic than I remembered.

I kept the jungle to myself and tried And not as green. Not as pretty.
hard to blend in and make the world I looked behind me and tried to
forget the survivor part of my identity. imagine the fuselage. With Pasje in it.
In 2006, I went back to Vietnam. I Here was where his life ended. I didn’t
travelled to the village where I’d been feel his presence there – not stronger
taken after the crash and met some than usual, at least.
of the men who had carried me all I worked my way farther up the
those years before. The next morning, mountain and stopped at a rock. I
a group of us got up before dawn and searched in my backpack for the small
started to hike. After wading across six wooden dolphin and the little white
rivers, we started to climb. It took us seal I had brought. I placed them on
more than five hours to arrive at the the rock. “Bye, Pasje,” I said.
crash site.
I sat down on the leaves. And twigs. Today, Herfkens, her husband, Jaime
I looked down the mountain through Lupa, and their children, Maxi and
the trees. It was so much more Joosje, live in New York.
SURVIVOR: Jim Polehinke, copilot

đ Date: 27/8/2006 đ Flight: Comair 5191 đ From: Lexington, Kentucky, US
đ To: Atlanta, US đ On board: 50 đ Crew deaths: 2 đ Passenger deaths: 47
đ The pilots steered the airplane down a runway that was too short. The plane
continued past the runway end, knocked down a metal fence, and continued
onto a field, where it struck several trees and burst into flames.
AS THE PILOT in com- taxiway didn’t match the runway we’d

mand taxied the plane been assigned, because so many of
from the terminal to the lights at the airport were broken.
the runway, I was going We waited to be cleared for takeoff,
through the preflight checklist of and then the captain said, “OK, let’s
equipment settings, so I didn’t look go.” He taxied out onto the runway,
out the window to check the runway turned, and straightened us out. He
number like I would before most said to me, “OK, your brakes, your
flights. Even if I had, I might not have controls.” I said, “My brakes, my con-
noticed that the markers along the trols,” and away we went.

SOLE SURVIVOR
I don’t remember anything after that. lung had collapsed, and I’d suffered a
On the cockpit voice recorder, you can traumatic brain injury.
hear me say, “That’s weird, no lights.” Once they got me out of the coma,
A few seconds later, we ran off the they waited for my head to clear up.
runway and hit an embankment. The My wife was there. I thought, OK, I’m
plane rose into the air for a short dis- in the hospital, and I’m really messed
tance, then clipped the airport fence, up here. So what happened? That’s
hit some trees, and broke into pieces. when my wife explained that I’d been
When the rescue crews arrived, they in a plane crash. My response was a
heard me coughing and cut me out of question: “Was everybody else OK?”
the wreckage. Instead of waiting for And she said, “No. You’re the only
an ambulance, they put me into their survivor.” When I heard that, I pretty
vehicle and took me to the hospital. much lay there and cried.
I was in an induced coma for four For the first week, the doctors kept
days. My body was like a broken rag cleaning out the left leg to try to save
doll. My left tibia and femur were both it. Finally the doctor came to me and
fractured. My right heel bone came said, “Listen, we can do one of two
out of my foot. I had broken ribs and things. We can see if this is going to
fingers and a pelvic fracture. My right work, and there’s a possibility that
you could die from an infection, or
Stowed in a closet near the
we can amputate.” Once they took my
cockpit, Polehinke’s flight
bag, shown here, survived the
left leg, the rest of my body recovered
crash unscathed very quickly.
Emotionally and psychologically, I
was very black the first couple of years
after the crash. I was angry that all
the blame was put on the
captain and me. And I felt
sad for the family mem-
bers of those who had
died. Sometimes I’d say to
myself, “I’m alive!” And a
split second later, I’d think
about the 49 families who
had lost loved ones. And
I’d wonder, Should I be
happy to be alive, when
all those people are gone?
I’m grateful that my
WorldMags.net
READER’S DIGEST
wife, Ida, is as strong as she is. She

was my rock. She supported me, took
care of me. I’m grateful that I have the
wife that I do.
My advice to some- “I miss flying
body else in my situ- dearly,” says
Polehinke, now 52.
ation would be “Keep
“I was lucky to
l o o k i n g f o r w a rd s.” have had that
Keep looking for that privilege”
light at the end of
the tunnel. You can’t
change the past, so just always
keep moving forwards.
I’m basically paralysed from my
right knee down. If somebody took me
out of my wheelchair and said, “Stand
up on one leg,” I’d drop. But I love to God, for allowing me to be alive and
ski, and I get out whenever I can on a able to do this.”
monoski.
When I’m at the top of the moun- After the accident, Polehinke
tain, I don’t think about the crash. I and his wife moved from Florida
look out over the world stretched to southwestern Colorado, where he
is president of Colorado Discover Ability,
below me and say, “Maybe I don’t an organisation that promotes outdoor
have a reason to complain. Thank you, activities for disabled adults and children.
Puzzles See page 120

Tricky Tiles Out of the Box
Join each shape in the top row to the bottom row to reveal an
G R A F T alphabetical sequence.
R A D I O
I M A G O Quick Thinking
1. Yes. 2. Yes: Cairo, Copenhagen, Cardiff, Canberra.
3. No. RSVP is French. 4. No; 49 is a perfect square. 5. Yes.
S I G H T 6. No. It spells OSO. 7. Yes. 8. No. 40 is shorter.
Hidden Meaning
T E E T H South of the border O In the thick of things O Six periods in the
school day

Smart Animals
Sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s more human:

the pet owner or the pet
Crowd pleaser light leather jacket walked in with his

LEIGH WESTON small companion. He chose a table
I LLUSTRATI ON: BEN SANDERS
In the mid-1980s, I had just near the band and ordered a cocktail
completed a successful season with for himself and an orange juice for
my jazz duo in London, and we were his friend.
booked for a six-month contract at They sat and listened to the music,
The Golden Hat Piano Bar in Paris. and when we had finished the
One night, just before our 1am finish number, the little friend, who was
and when the crowd had thinned dressed in overalls and a red-
out, a young man in blue jeans and a chequered cap, carefully put his

orange juice down on the table and that I had fallen down on the job.
they both clapped enthusiastically. Clever boy Zeke – he got his reward.
Well, we couldn’t very well stop at
that when we had two such Dinner bell
delightful customers enjoying the LOIS STAHL
music, so we played on for another I’ll never forget the day I brought
half hour, thoroughly enjoying our home my first microwave oven.
small but select audience. As I was setting it up on the kitchen
What made it an occasion to table, my two-year-old tabby cat
remember was that the pleasant Midget wandered into the kitchen
young man could have been from and watched over what I was doing
anywhere, but his little companion – with a disdainful look. His ears
was a chimpanzee! pricked up in interest when he saw
Surely, only in Paris!! me put a fish in the microwave.
He then sat and gazed through its
Trick for treats glass window as the fish turned
VERA FARR around, and around on the plate.
When I leave the house in the Imagine his surprise, when the
morning, I give our dogs (my elegant microwave suddenly made a loud
male saluki, Zeke, and my daughter’s ping sound to announce the end of
mixed-breed old lady, Ash) a dog the cooking program. Midget jumped
chew each. up in a fright and then ducked under
One morning I got the chews out the table. With the smell of the fish
but must have become distracted wafting out Midget slowly – but
and forgot to give them to the dogs. cautiously – emerged and jumped
After I had gone, my daughter back onto the table to have another
noticed Zeke doing a tap dance in look at his dinner. I then placed it into
the kitchen, with his long nose in the his dinner bowl and he set about
air pointing at the cabinet. “What is eating his dinner with no fuss.
he doing?” she thought, going over Within days, Midget had learned
to him. There on the bench, in easy that when the microwave let out its
reach of the tall saluki’s mouth were ping it was time for his dinner. From
the two doggie treats. then on, he watched over the
He could easily have knocked them microwave and would call me when
off (and eaten both!), but his early the microwave pinged.
training – take nothing off benches or
You could earn cash by telling us about
tables – and his love of these chews, the antics of unique pets or wildlife. Turn
made him perform an elaborate to page 6 for details on how to contribute
dance to draw attention to the fact to the magazine.

BOOK DIGEST
For SPINELESS (Abrams), Susan Middleton

spent seven years photographing marine
invertebrates – “the backbone of life”. Part art, part scientific
study, her 150 portraits show creatures that dwell from the
depths to the shallows in intriguing detail and beauty. Here,
a captured young Pacific Giant Octopus with a body just
1.5cm across is preparing for a life trawling the ocean in search of crustaceans,
clams, fish and the occasional seabird. It will likely grow in its three- to five-year life
to some 45kg, though one specimen weighed in at a colossal 272kg.

8. Jane Austen in
Bath, UK. Universally
acknowledged
Regency charms
Best Literary Walking Tours,
according to Lonely Planet’s Best in Travel 2015
1. Millennium Tour, Stockholm, for fans of Stieg Larsson’s crime thrillers.
2. Literary Pub Crawl, Dublin, Ireland. Raise a glass in creative drinking holes.
3. Literary Landmarks, Boston, US. The birthplace of American Romanticism with
the homes and haunts of Louisa May Alcott, Henry James, Thoreau and more.
4. James Bond’s Mayfair, London. Classified secrets of the Fleming high life.
5. Greenwich Village Literary Pub Crawl, New York City. Decades of inspiration in
the Big Apple, from Revolutionary writers to the present day.
6. Writers in Paris, France. Step into a world peopled by the ghosts of Victor Hugo,
Ernest Hemingway, Samuel Beckett, Jean Rhys and Marcel Proust.
7. Literary Shanghai, China. From local stars such as Lu Xun and Xu Zhimo to
visiting giants of international literature including George Bernard Shaw.
“... Some 500 languages worldwide are currently Spaniards utter an

spoken by fewer than 500 people; around 50 average of 7.82
languages are spoken by just a single individual. syllables per second,
In 2013, the last native speaker of Livonian died as against 6.17 for
in Latvia. In 2012, the last speaker of the English speakers and
Cromarty dialect in Scotland breathed his last. 5.97 for German.
And in 2011, in a welcome variation of the theme,
it was reported that the last two
speakers of Ayapaneco, in Mexico, Numbers are odd: French,
refused to talk to each other.” with its ‘four-twenty-ten-
eight’ for 98; in Breton, 77
From LINGO: is ‘seventeen-and-three-
A LANGUAGE SPOTTER’S twenty’; and 78 is “two-nine-
GUIDE TO EUROPE (Profile three-twenty” in Welsh.
Books) by Gaston Dorren

BOOKS
“... The strategists had worked out
that they should not make any
claims about the way Heineken
tasted, or tell consumers that
Heineken was cheap and that they
could drink an entire barrel without
getting excessively intoxicated. They
hit on another attribute that was
much more appealing: that it was
refreshing. Terry Lovelock, in the ad
agency’s creative team endured ‘three
months of agony’ over his assignment, and
he eventually decided to escape the
pressure from executives by tagging along
In GREAT on a photo shoot to Marrakesh. It was
WHITE, (Pan during the nights there that he got up to
Macmillan) write two lines. One of them read:
James ‘Heineken refreshes the parts other beers
Woodfood cannot reach.’ ...Over the years the slogan
writes: would become part of the English
“... This is the language.”
story about a Barbara Smit in THE HEINEKEN
fish – from the STORY (Profile Books)
tips of its teeth to the end of its
tail. It has the body of a
submarine, the jaws of a bear “... Getting simplicity into your life
trap, the stomach of a wheelie is the same process as good
bin, the power of a torpedo, eyes product design: firstly, reduce the number
as big as billiard balls and a brain of moving parts; secondly, make the
smaller than the top of the outside user-friendly; and lastly, do one
thumb of most men. It emerged thing really well. All the great inventions
from a lineage predating make things more simple, not more
dinosaurs and its personality has complex ... There are fortunes to be made in
the ill-deserved reputation of simpler ways to generate power, find love
being somewhere between a or change a duvet cover ...On the other
psychopath and a member of an hand, some things don’t work when they’re
outlaw motorcycle gang ... The too simple: for example,
simple fact is that each and flamenco, whisky and
every white shark is a rogue foreign policy.”
shark. They are everything that is HOW TO BE
both terrible and wonderful NORMAL: A GUIDE
about life and food chains and FOR THE PERPLEXED
oceans and primal power.” (Atlantic) by Guy
Browning

MOVIE DIGEST
BRAINY
BRITS
THE THEORY OF
EVERYTHING Biopic
While Stephen Hawking’s

achievements are well known,
his personal story is less so.
The Theory of Everything
portrays how his physical
decline at the hands of motor
neurone disease ran parallel
to personal and professional
triumphs. A film about
battling both love and illness,
The Theory of Everything
explores universal themes using
Starry eyed: Eddie a unique story. This is a truly
Redmayne as emotional ride for the audience.
Stephen Hawking
EXTRACTS MAY BE EDITED FOR S PACE AN D CLA RITY
THE IMITATION GAME Biopic
Alan Turing (Benedict Cumberbatch) was

a genius British mathematician, cryptologist,
computer scientist and an unlikely war hero.
He led the charge to crack the German
Enigma Code in WWII, an act Winston
Churchill labelled the biggest single
contribution to Allied
victory. The film delves
into Turing’s famously Decoding the
eccentric and antisocial enigma: Benedict
life and his hidden Cumberbatch as
homosexuality. Alan Turing

MOVIES
Feeling
BIRDMAN Comedy/Drama beaky:
Michael
Riggan Thomson (Michael Keaton) is a washed-up actor Keaton
trying to reclaim his glory days playing iconic
superhero “Birdman”. Sound familiar? No, it’s not a
Keaton biopic. Thomson struggles to mount a play
to revive his career and personal life. Riddled with
in-jokes and wink-wink references, Birdman drips
with dark humour and shows that even Hollywood
actors can poke fun at themselves.
Girl Power
After decades of male-dominated
Hollywood leads, it appears that some
recent releases are starting to level the
field. Films such as Gravity, The Hunger
Games: Catching Fire, Frozen and
Maleficent all featured leading ladies
and reaped the benefits. According to
INTO THE WOODS Fantasy database Box Office Mojo, these films
have taken in a combined $3.6 billion
Modern retellings of classic fairy worldwide. Why the shift? Because the
tales have been all the rage lately majority of cinema-goers are female.
and Into The Woods adds to the According to the Australian Bureau
ever-growing list. Meryl Streep of Statistics, the cinema
plays a witch – and you can tell attendance rate for
she had fun with this role – who females (70%) is
conspires to teach important higher than the rate
lessons to characters we love, for males (64%).
such as Little Red Riding Hood And the Motion
and Jack and the Beanstalk. Picture Association
Based on the musical, the film of America reports
centres on a childless couple, that in 2013,
who set out to end a curse 52% of US
placed by the vengeful witch. moviegoers
The film explores the darker were women.
side of these classic tales’ style.
Q: In 1982, Ben Kingsley won an Oscar for playing

which peaceable character?

SUMMER DVD MARATHON
January is the perfect time to rest and relax in front of a TV.
We’ve picked the hottest new DVD releases to help you chill out
YVES SAINT LAURENT Biopic NANCY WAKE: GESTAPO’S

MOST WANTED
In 1958, Yves Saint Laurent was drafted Documentary/Drama
into the iconic Paris fashion house
established by Christian Dior. The Nancy Wake was the daring allied spy
French film follows YSL’s rise and his who became the Gestapo’s most
life-long relationship with Pierre Bergé. wanted woman in WWII. Including
interviews with her closest friends,
MALEFICENT Fantasy confidants and military historians that
bring the legend to life, this docu-drama
Angelina Jolie gives Sleeping Beauty’s is a compelling retelling of one of
evil stepmother a softer side in this history’s little-known heroes.
modern twist on a classic tale that
shows there are two sides to every AND SO IT GOES Comedy
fairy story.
When obnoxious real estate agent Oren
LUCY Action/Thriller Little (Michael Douglas) becomes
guardian to his estranged
When Lucy (Scarlett Johansson) granddaughter, he palms her off on
is used as a guinea pig for a his lovable neighbour Leah
A:
powerful new drug, her body (Diane Keaton). But bit by bit,
undergoes surreal changes Gandhi. Oren stubbornly learns to open
that unlock her mind’s full
ll art – to his family, to Leah
potential. life itself.

BRAIN POWER
TEST YOUR MENTAL PROWESS
Puzzles
Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles and mind stretchers,
then check your answers on page 111
Tricky Tiles
Place the tiles into the grid to form a word square. Different words read across
and down. Clues to the “down” words are given below.
DOWN CLUES
1 2 3 4 5
1. Grain for grinding
2. Tall, nettle-like perennial
herb used for cloth
3. Memorable proverb
4. Boxing match
5. Cog on a wheel
A A D I G
M G R
I R A F O
G I T
T
H S H
O
T
T E E
Out of the Box

Fill in the two
missing shapes in
this sequence.
?
Think laterally!
?
PUZZLES
Quick Thinking Hidden Meaning

Don’t think about these yes or no questions too Identify the common
hard. Trust your initial instincts and see how many words or phrases above.
you answer correctly.
N
W E
1. Do these shapes have 28 sides all together? S
A
EGYPT WALES DENMARK AUSTRALIA
2. Do these countries’ capitals begin with C?
CV ETC RSVP PM
3. Are these all Latin abbreviations?
59 13 2 67 49
TH GS
4. Are all these numbers prime numbers?
B
ADDER CHIMP BELLS DIRTY
5. Are these words all spelt alphabetically in order?
6. Does this spell SOS in Morse Code?

SC.H.O.O.L
D.A.Y
7. Are all these white circles the same size? C
11 20 12 40
8. Are these numbers, when spelt out, the same
length?

BRAIN POWER
TEST YOUR GENERAL KNOWLEDGE
Trivia
To celebrate the start of the year, we have a quiz where you select the item
that came first historically. One point per question. Which was the first to …
1. … rule their part 10. … become a

of the world: company: Coca-Cola
Aztecs or Mongols? or Pepsi-Cola?
2. … register its 11. ... hold a Summer
.com web address: Olympic Games?
Google or Amazon? Atlanta or Seoul?
3. … be screened: 12. … be invented:
Star Wars or 2001: The iPhone or iPod?
A Space Odyssey? 13. … release their first album:
4. … occur: The Cuban missile crisis The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?
or the Suez canal crisis? 14. … have creatures walk the Earth:
5. … be born: Albert Einstein Jurassic or Cambrian period?
or Pablo Picasso? 15. … change the world?
6. … be invented: The electric toaster Dismantling of apartheid in South
or pre-sliced bread? Africa or collapse of the Berlin Wall?
COMP ILED BY GAIL MACCALLUM; PH OTO: THIN KSTOCK

7. … be formed: ABBA or the Sex 16. … be published: Winnie-the-Pooh
Pistols? or Alice in Wonderland?
8. … launch on its first voyage: RMS 17. … have his Symphony No. 1
Titanic or the Wright brothers’ Flyer? premiered: Beethoven or Brahms?
9. … be born: Julius Caesar 18. … be declared: The Gulf War
or Confucius? or the Iraq War?
15-18 Gold medal 9-14 Silver medal 5-8 Bronze medal 0-4 Wooden spoon
(Code-named Operation Desert Shield, Aug 1990; Operation Iraqi Freedom Mar 2003).
Wonderland (1865; Winnie-the-Pooh 1925). 17. Beethoven (2/4/1800; Brahms 4/11/1876). 18. Gulf War
million years ago; Jurassic ended 145mya). 15. Berlin Wall (1989; apartheid 1990-1994). 16. Alice in
1996). 12. iPod (2001; iPhone 2007). 13. The Beatles (1963; Rolling Stones 1964). 14. Cambrian (ended 485
(1903; Titanic 1912). 9. Confucius (551BC; Caesar 100BC). 10. Coke (1888; Pepsi 1903). 11. Seoul (1988; Atlanta
Picasso 25/10/1889). 6. Toaster (1893; pre-sliced bread 1928). 7. ABBA (1972; Sex Pistols 1975). 8. Plane
Odyssey (1968; Star Wars 1977). 4. Suez (Oct, 1956; Cuban missile crisis Oct, 1962). 5. Einstein (14/3/1879;
ANSWERS: 1. Mongols (1206-1300s; Aztecs 1428-1521). 2. Amazon (1995; Google 1997). 3. 2001: A Space

BRAIN POWER
IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR
One way of accomplishing your New Yea ar’s

resolutions is setting small, bite-size goalls
throughout the year. So this month we
celebrate all things diminutive. Zip
through this quiz in short order, then
baby-step over the page for answers.
1. transient adj. – A: short-range.

B: short-handed. C: short-lived.
2. vignette n. – A: small glass.
B: short literary sketch or scene.
C: thin line.
3. bagatelle n. – A: child’s rucksack.
B: cell nucleus. C: something of little
value.
BY EM ILY COX & HENRY RATHVON ; I LLUSTRATIONS BY JI LL C ALDER
4. scintilla n. – A: short vowel. 10. niggling adj. – A: petty.

B: minute amount. C: minor crime. B: stunted. C: short-winded.
5. myopic adj. – A: too tiny for 11. aphorism n. – A: concise saying.
the naked eye. B: shortsighted. B: shorthand writing. C: cut-off
C: early. sentence.
6. irascible adj. – A: small-minded. 12. staccato adj. – A: of cemented
B: narrow-waisted. C: marked by fragments. B: formed into droplets.
a short temper. C: short, clear-cut sounds.
7. expeditiously adv. – A: promptly 13. nib n. – A: crumb on a plate.
and efficiently. B: incompletely. B: point of a pen. C: matter of
C: tersely or rudely. seconds.
8. tabard n. – A: short-sleeved coat. 14. exiguous adj. – A: inadequate,
B: booklet of verses. C: dwarf scanty. B: momentary. C: reduced by
evergreen. one tenth.
9. arietta n. – A: tot’s playpen. 15. truncate v. – A: compress by
B: miniature figurine. C: short squeezing. B: speed up. C: shorten by
melody. lopping off.

WORD POWER
Answers 10. niggling – [A] petty. “Jane,

1. transient – [C] short- you’re driving me bonkers with
lived. “The first-quarter your niggling complaints!”
lead proved transient, 11. aphorism – [A] concise
as the Ravens racked saying. “My father has an
up 42 points in the aphorism for any occasion.”
second.” 12. staccato – [C] short, clear-
2. vignette – [B] cut sounds. “Lucy’s hilarious
short literary sketch laugh comes in sharp, staccato
or scene. “Dickens dog barks.”
created characters 13. nib – [B] point of a pen.
from prose vignettes “A faulty nib, Beth complained,
like little ruined her first pass at her final
photographs.” drawing project.”
3. bagatelle – [C] something of little 14. exiguous – [A] inadequate,
value. “My stories aren’t prized works, scanty. “Ever a big eater, Art found
just personal bagatelles.” even the jumbo burger a bit
4. scintilla – [B] minute amount. exiguous.”
“There’s not one scintilla of evidence 15. truncate – [C] shorten by
against my client.” lopping off. “According to mythology,
5. myopic – [B] shortsighted. “Kim’s the gruesome Procrustes would
myopic view of the project surely led truncate his guests if they were too
to its collapse.” long for the bed.”
6. irascible – [C] marked by a short
temper. “If Jack were any more WORD HISTORY: MICRO
irascible, he’d have smoke coming out Micro is a word-forming element
of his ears.” meaning “small, microscopic;
7. expeditiously – [A] promptly and magnifying; one millionth, as in
efficiently. “As a pick-me-up, a triple phones, scopes and chips. It comes
from the Greek mikrós, for “small,
espresso works expeditiously.”
short” (also related: mica, the rock
8. tabard – [A] short-sleeved coat. whose tiny pieces flake off).
“My entire Hamlet costume consists
of a wooden sword and this tabard.” VOCABULARY RATINGS
5 & below: Came up short
9. arietta – [C] short melody. “The
6–10: Short and sweet
goldfinch trilled an arietta, reminding 11–12: Made short work of it
us that spring would come soon.” 13-15: Word Power wizard

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For more details, head to:

The Magic of Childhood NOSTALGIA

PH OTOS GE T T Y MAGE S T H N KSTO C K

Thank you for the article, “There is a anta

Santa Claus” (December). Francis P.

Church must be saluted for answering years old Some

an eight-year-old’s earnest question

with grace and wisdom. He handled the

little girl’s innocence like a piece of

delicate china. He strove to preserve all

Going Shopping Grammar Class

I really believe that I have WRITE TO US

While the new Banana Republic

If monkeys work for peanuts, the big

Anecdotes and jokes

communication must change with the times,

PS E-readers will notice this month’s Digest has gone

Various combinations of double letters often have me

For me, it’s “restaurant”. I always end

Austria: I can spell it perfectly well, but

I was going to say necessarily, because

As families left their homes in India, friendships were

Colonel IT WAS THE SUMMER of July 1947. As the excitement of

10 | January 2015 WorldMags.net

WorldMags.net January 2015 | 11

12 | January 2015 WorldMags.net

STARTING A NEW JOB IS NEVER EASY

I accidentally pressed the panic button and summoned an armed

First day of working as a cashier, I put the wrong code in for

WorldMags.net January 2015 | 13

I can tell you this: you can change

Sharing the Burden

I LLUSTRATI ON: GREGOIRE M AHLER/FI GAROPH OTO/CONTOUR STYLE

but it did. I spent the evening in I dragged my bags the kilometre to

MANKIND IS SLEEPWALKING wearing orange-and-brown tartan

Q: What Started the Myth of

in the chance of children

18 | January 2015 WorldMags.net

3 Tricks for a Better Memory

2 Eat healthy carbohydrates to boost brain cells. A Canadian study found

3 Develop strategies. Counter senior or fuzzy moments

“WHAT THE HECK IS HIS NAME?”

WorldMags.net January 2015 | 19

Tired-looking eyes could be a red cholesterol and triglycerides, as well

20 | January 2015 WorldMags.net

WorldMags.net January 2015 | 21

What’s All the Fuss

WHY THE HYPE? WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS?

WHO IS IT GOOD FOR? WHERE DO I GET IT?

22 | January 2015 WorldMags.net

Get a Computer Speed Boost

1 Get rid of “bloatware”. Uninstall

2 Don’t print the conﬁrmation page

SIMPLER MOBILE PHONES

with the latest features and functions. In fact,

Busting the Comfort

How to Make Simple

potato, bake it in a salt bed, says fruit, too.

Spic and Span

1 The best way to dust blinds? Close

2 Vinegar and water is a

cleaner white vinegar wipe bathroom tiles after you