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Dezaray Beltran

Mrs. Trotter

Brit Lit- 1

08 January 2019

Digging a Little Deeper

It gets a little tough being a Type Two, always being a helpful hand, a shoulder to cry on and

willing to go that full mile for my loved ones. Sometimes I go so far that when something is done for me

it has to be all out or it simply doesn't interest me. There are also the times where I'm thinking in the back

of my head that I didn't do as much, that I could've done better and it lingers within me for the rest of the

day. Who knew in the mind of the most “caring” their was little demons trapped in my head.

Being “The Helper” according to Electric Energies is putting others feelings and emotions before

my own. I feel as if I owe them something for being apart of my life, basically I’m “generally helping

others meet their needs” that I “forget to take care of my own” for example whenever I'm with my

boyfriend I’m devoted in bringing out his best side. I'm just a text or call away from hearing his problems

and in a heartbeat I’m thinking of a solution so it doesn't bring him stress later on. It makes me so blissful

when my boyfriend takes my advice because I put my full efforts into what would be the best outcome for

the situation. Since I’m so focused on that my feelings don’t matter until I have time and it is so

exhausting, emotionally and physically.

I admit when it comes to me and the people closest to me I’m extremely “prideful” because it

takes me a lot to let someone in my circle so me being me I’m going to flaunt and love you. If I don't get

the same energy back I “become intrusive and demanding” when my “unacknowledged emotional needs

go unmet” says Enneagram Worldwide I love my best friend and appreciate him so I never fail to break

my back in doing everything possible to please him. Most of the time I don’t feel that he's being the same

way for institic when we’re hanging I want to be posted about; like his other friends. If I don’t get some

sort of attention or affection I overthink everything about our friendship. I know my best friend is always

going to be my right hand and has so much love for me but show it.
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Most of the things I do in my everyday life is either benefiting me or the ones closest to me. I

always find myself asking if I should do this or that being “dependant on approval from others.” It runs

through my mind over and over again until my final decision is made and within that I also thought about

other people's feelings so that way nobody’s is felt left out. Electric Energies says I “need to be needed”

and if I’m not emptiness starts to take over. It brings pure love to my soul… maybe it even made that

persons day.

Becoming the healthiest version of me is to not to feel the need to focus on others feelings before

mine. I’m going to put more effort in what makes me happy and not care if it's going to affect what others

think as long as I put myself first. I only live once why waste that on approval from others when the only

one that should matter is my own.