The application of reality therapy and choice theory

Counseling Theory Paper

Paul Sarsfield
City University -EGC 504
Spring 2018
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As I was completing my career in the military as a leader, I worked with dozens of young

Sailors and became counsel for their personal and professional struggles. Without studying any

theories, I based my counsel on what I had experienced and was taught coming up from an

educational family (my parents were both school teachers), from Boy Scouts and the military. I

simply analyzed what was going on, helped them break it down into a series of objective areas

and was then able to help the Sailors make sense of them. I never made choices for them but

allowed them to work through their questions or situations. I feel in today’s society, there are

countless numbers of academic, social and mental obstacles that students must overcome in

order to achieve and ultimately reach their full potential, as there are as adults. Most students

need to establish positive relationships with the adults and peers in the school environment in

order to overcome these obstacles and keep them from becoming inert and unable to move

forward with their lives. Bridging what I learned in the military, with the different theories we

are learning about, one type of therapy that clearly stood out to me that recognizes the need

for positive quality relationships in the educational environment is William Glasser’s reality

therapy.

Reality therapy is an approach that we can use to help people develop a true

understanding of who they are by analyzing their chosen behaviors in relation to their basic

needs and wants. "One of the core principles of reality therapy is that, whether people are

aware of it or not, they are always trying to meet these essential human needs. These needs

must all be balanced and met for a person to function most effectively. However, people don't

necessarily act effectively in achieving these goals. Socializing with others is one effective way

of meeting the need to belong. But how a person chooses to interact with and gain attention
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and love from others is most often at the root of their psychological dismay. (Wikipedia, 2018,

‘Approach’ paragraph). Thus, our behaviors are produced both consciously and unconsciously,

by our continuous attempts to fulfill our biological needs. It is an instinct that drives us ‘to live

in a way that will best satisfy one or more of these needs" (Glasser, 1990, p. 43). We can use

this technique to help students see this and, in turn, learn from themselves rather than being

just told what to do.

In order to understand the core ideas of reality therapy, one must understand its

theoretical basis. The theoretical foundation of reality therapy is a concept known as choice

theory. Glasser states “Choice theory explains that, for all practical purposes, we choose

everything we do, including the misery we feel”. (Glasser, 1999, p 3). And from the time of birth

“our behavior is always our best attempt at the time to do what we believe will best satisfy one

or more of our needs”. (Glasser, 1990, p. 44). Utilizing this in a school setting, where time is

limited, we are not only allowing students to make their own choices, we are also teaching

them how to do it on their own.

These needs occur on different levels; the most basic need must be achieved first before

the individual can move on to higher levels and more complex needs. The first and most basic

need is survival; this need is characterized by the individual's need to fulfill the body's primary

needs in order to function. These include having food to eat, having shelter to sleep, and

clothing to protect oneself from the elements or to meet hygiene and social needs. The military

provided each member with a housing allowance and food stipends to ensure our core needs

were met. At the second level, is the ability to connect with other people so that an individual

feel as though they belong and are loved. This can occur in the biological family or in groups of
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people who are unrelated, which was a factor in the military we often utilized and made

trusting each other vital. The third is the need for power which may include the ability to learn

and achieve in one's surroundings. In doing so, the individual gains a sense of self-worth and

value. I strove to show the accomplishments of my younger Sailors, through verbal praise in

public, time off or awards for their achievements. The fourth need is freedom; this is where the

individual is able to distinguish themselves as separate and unique from other people and their

surrounding environment. In doing this, the individual has a sense of independence and self-

empowerment. With the most basic needs met, the individual is able to relax and let down

their guard so that they can engage in interactions and activities that they enjoy.

The basic human needs are fulfilled through behavior interactions with the individual's

surroundings. These interactions are initiated by behaviors that we choose to engage in order

to complete a task or communicate with another person. If an individual chooses behaviors that

effectively completes a task or communicates with another person, then most likely whatever

need they are focused on will be fulfilled. However, if an individual engages in behaviors that do

not effectively complete a task or communicate their desires, then the need will go unfulfilled.

According to Glasser, this is the reason why human beings encounter setbacks and obstacles,

which result in unhappiness and discontent. “Choice theory posits most mental illness is, in fact,

an expression of unhappiness” (Wikipedia, 2018, ‘Characteristics’ para 9). Choice theory

provides people with a way to define the causes of their unhappiness and discontent and

provides them with a paradigm for analyzing past behaviors =so that they are able to choose

present and future behaviors that will fulfill their needs and eliminate feelings of discontent

and unhappiness.
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Counselors need to apply the tenants of choice theory through the process of reality

therapy once the foundation of involvement is built. To engage in reality therapy, an individual

must first observe and evaluate their current behavior and its effectiveness in fulfilling their

needs. The student must “make a value judgment about his or her current behavior (which

presumably is not beneficial, otherwise the client may not have negative consequences from

behavior motivating enough to seek therapy)” (Glasser, 1984, as cited by Wikipedia, 2018,

Process: Evaluating current behavior paragraph). Once the student recognizes the ineffective

behaviors, they create a plan to exchange this behavior with an attainable goal. The student

then commits to the plan that they have created for themselves. In making this commitment,

the student agrees to follow through with carrying out the plan until they achieve the result

they are seeking.

The major concepts of reality therapy include emphasizing choice and responsibility in

the student, rejecting transference, keeping the therapy in the present time and avoiding

focusing on symptoms (Corey, 2113, p 318-319). In emphasizing choice and responsibility, the

student is ultimately responsible for the choices they make. Concentrating on the choices

people have and the fact that they are responsible for their actions helps to empower the

individual. The student should come to the realization that choice and the responsibility to

choose gives them the power to create change and strive for the outcomes they are looking for.

Rejecting transference is the ability to maintain the student’s authentic definition and

understanding of themselves as an individual. If the student does not reject transference, "both

therapist and client avoid being who they are and owning what they are doing" (Corey, 2013, p.
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309). Thus, they are unable to engage in an effective counseling relationship that wills them to

examine the realities of their own personal situations and ultimately affect change in their lives.

Keeping the therapy in the present keeps our students from focusing on their past

actions and behaviors and forces them to focus on what they are doing now that may be

causing the breakdown of relationships in their lives. Glasser believes that “whatever mistakes

were made in the past are not pertinent now. We can only satisfy our needs in the present”.

(Corey, 2013, p. 309). Through focusing solely on the present, our students are able to meet the

needs that are going unfulfilled in their pasts. Thus, focusing on the past may not bring our

students the results they desire or fulfill their present needs.

We, as counselors, and our students must avoid focusing on symptoms of problems and

discontent. Examining symptoms and problems are the result of behaviors, which must be

changed in order to avoid the symptoms. If our students are focusing on symptoms, they may

be “reluctant to accept the reality that their sufferings are due to the total behavior they are

choosing” (Corey, 2013, p. 309). With both of the therapy and theory used, we open our

students up to seeing the behavior as the root, and then recognizing how to change it, to move

forward.

In the application of reality therapy, we act as a facilitator and the support person. In

order to do this effectively, we must establish a healthy and effective relationship with our

students. This relationship will help to ease any fears or anxiety that our students may have in

sharing their inner feelings and experiences with us. It will also establish a line of

communication that allows our students to share and discuss painful and undesirable feelings

with us. This relationship also provides a way for us to connect with them and examine their
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needs so that we may help them aspire to a better existence and motivate change (Glasser,

1990, p. 40). It is imperative as a counselor to gain trust and spending time learning, listening

and allowing the student to earn that is how we will succeed.

On a general level, we facilitate and oversee our students journey through the process

of reality therapy. We work to keep them focused on their present feelings and behaviors

rather than what they experience in the past and those factors that are beyond the control of

them. We also engage our students in examining the true effects of their behavior in order to

help them see the true effect of their actions that the student is trying to circumvent or cannot

see for themselves. We cannot chastise or blame them and will work to keep our students from

doing this as well. We support our students in creating an effective and feasible plan for

changing their behaviors. Most importantly, we must be patient and supportive towards our

students in allowing them to struggle with and draw their own conclusions about their

behaviors and their plans for change.

The main goal of reality therapy is to help our students improve their lives through

reflective analysis of their current life situation and behavior. There are a number of objectives

that care ensure our students can reach this ultimate goal. One of the most important

objectives is for them to connect or reconnect with people who can support them through the

therapy process and fulfill their needs (Corey, 2013, P 310). These individuals can help the

student in the ability to listen, provide more insight, and display appropriate behaviors in

situations that have been difficult for the student. Another important goal of this therapy and

theory is to aid our students in learning ‘better ways of fulfilling all of their needs’. (Corey,
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2013, p 310). Through the help and ideas of other people, students can expand their knowledge

of behaviors that can help them over through the process of change.

Reality therapy has a number of strong points in regard to its ability to effectively and

positively impact one’s life. First, this type of therapy works to empower the student to change

their lives for the better. Students do not have to have a counselor to tell them what is wrong;

they can learn the reality therapy process and makes choices that can their lives. Thus, the

control and power to change lies within the student. Second, students develop an awareness of

how their actions affect them and the people around them. IN doing this, they gain social

insight and are able to begin interpreting and navigating the realities of their social

environment that they may not have been able to see or recognize before. On a deeper level,

"the existence underpinnings of choice theory are a major strength of this approach. People are

not viewed as being hopelessly and helplessly depressed. Instead, people are viewed as doing

the best they can, or making the choices they hope will result in fulfilling their needs." (Corey,

2013, p 324).

Though reality therapy has a number of strong points that I saw used in the military, one

that was identified early on with working with therapists was also one that will be difficult in

the schools as well. “One of the main limitations of reality therapy is that it does not give

adequate emphasis to the role of these aspects of the counseling process: the unconscious and

the power of the past and the effect of traumatic experiences in early childhood” (Corey, 2013,

p 325). Reality therapy focuses on conscious experiences and behaviors and does not take into

account any effects the subconscious repressions from childhood experiences and traumatic

events may have on the individual. (Corey, 2013, p 325). Thus, there may be a whole other
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aspect of affecting the life of the individual that is not addressed in this therapy. Another

limitation is that the counseling experience can be compromised by the beliefs and agendas of

the counselor. If the counselor does not allow the student to feel through their feelings and

behaviors to find their own answers because they are pushing their agenda on the student, the

counseling experience may be ineffective.

There are three key techniques that are vital to successfully implementing reality

therapy. The first technique is to develop a counseling environment and relationship that

allows our students to speak freely, examine their behaviors, and enact change in their lives. “It

is from this mildly confrontive yet always non-criticizing, non-blaming, non-complaining, caring

environment that students learn to create the satisfying environment that leads to successful

[counselor-student] relationships. (Corey, 3013, p. 313). The second technique is to develop a

plan that addresses the behavior in our students need to change and how they will go about

changing these behaviors that are keeping people from achieving their needs. Role-playing can

be an effective technique that helps the student to explore and experience in an authentic

situation, how different behaviors can elicit a range of reactions from the people around them.

The act of role-playing helps our students to experiment with and examine new behaviors that

could be more beneficial to their objective and goals.

There is an old adage that claims if you can give a man a fish, he will eat for a day, but if

you teach him how to fish, he will eat forever. This is exactly what a great counseling program

strives for’ it provides our population with strategies that they can use to improve their

everyday lives. Effective counseling empowers the student to reflect on their own behaviors

and experiences so that they are able to make changes that will improve their situations.
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This therapy and its techniques are ideal for the school-counseling environment. The

structure of this process is straightforward and allows both us and our peers to work with

students and accomplish a plan to resolve behaviors in a relatively short period of time. It is not

considered a brief therapy though, as it does take time to build up the involvement. This will be

helpful in the fact that there is not enough time in the day to address the needs of every

student, but the shorter and more effective process, the more students a counselor can

address.

Reality therapy is ideal for high school counselors because it addresses the authentic

needs of the students. Today, there are a large number of students whose needs are not being

fulfilled at home and in the classroom. In theory, if teachers and administrators are able to

make “school a place that meets students’ basic needs” it will motivate students to strive for

success, which is the ultimate goal of schools across the nation (Greene & Uroff, 1989).

Reality therapy also helps people working and interacting in the school environment to

focus on what they are doing behaviorally. Focusing only on the problem is a major setback for

many people because doing this does not help establish an effective resolution and bring about

the changes needed to overcome this obstacle. In many cases focusing on the problem

perpetuates the situation and allows people to remain stagnant and unable to change their

situation.

In comparison, Gestalt therapy is to enhance the student’s self-awareness of sensation,

perception, bodily feelings, emotion and behavior, in the present moment. This relationship is

highlighted, along with contact between the self, their environment and the other. Gestalt

focuses more on feelings, uses dreams and focused on making oneself into a whole person
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(incorporating all aspects of the self). This is a great approach, but in the school setting, there

just is not time to dive into this and we, as counselors, do not have the training to become

experts at it as well.

Reality therapy works to resolve any conflict resulting from a student’s inability to

control their anger or emotions, which often occur when working with teens. Through the use

of reality therapy, students can reflect on their behaviors and actions that may cause their

feelings of anger or range, which, ultimately, have affected their ability to truly connect with

the people in their environment. Through reflection on the student can identify how other

people reacted to the behaviors they displayed and how other behaviors might bring out the

reaction they really want from other people or the reaction that will get them closer to their

goal.

I encountered many scenarios like this, throughout my military career. Younger Sailors

who had conflicts with older Sailors, which happens across multiple generational gaps. In these

situations, the older Sailors had to take special care not to automatically assume that one party

is in the wrong. They had to keep in mind that the younger Sailors’ perceptions of their actions

and the reasons for the older Sailors actions could both be valid. Granted, this is not the

purpose of reality therapy, as the true goal is to aid each in reflecting on their relationships with

each other and examining why each may react to each other in this way.

As I became one of those older Sailors, I found more and more younger ones would

have behavior outbursts because they were not used to being personally confronted (as

compared to being confronted vis social media). I would always shift the conversation back on

them to what they really wanted or needed vs their complaint about something and let them
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work the situation out rather than telling them, which I now know was based on the reality

therapy and choice theory. Once I gave these options, many of the younger Sailors understood

the empathy piece of their behavior and were able to decode what they were frustrated about

and how to communicate. I started noticing this as a trend though and felt some kind of action

needed to be taken.

We (my peers) began designing a plan of action for our younger Sailors so that they

could effectively change their behavior and not fall back into negative or old behaviors.

Adjusting how they talked and acted on social media (without empathy or knowing the

reactions they were causing) and the willingness to take a step back, re-evaluate how they were

acting and then make positive choices in their communication, we found progress, albeit slow,

in how the Sailors acted overall. We gave them opportunities to make their choices, and simply

had discussions that they led to make the ultimate choices. This helped both sides learn more

about each other and for the younger ones to mature and come up with positive decisions. This

allowed both sides to be able to explore their quality world and allow them to generate areas of

relearning that were interfering with their attainment of that world. I really liked how it

worked, never knowing the theories or therapies behind it, and now will be able to bring that

into my role as an older counselor that has worked with 5 generations of people.

Reality therapy is an invaluable tool for us as counselors. It addresses the behaviors that

cause personal and social ills and helps the individual understand reasons why they choose

behaviors that are potentially destructive to themselves and other people. The understanding

of the motivation behind destructive behaviors through the exploration of the individual's

biological needs helps to clarify the origin and reason for behaviors that might otherwise be
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misunderstood or misinterpreted. The knowledge of how needs influence one’s behavior

empowers the individual to understand themselves on a much deeper level. Thus, on a societal

level, reality therapy is an effective strategy that teaches people how to cope with issues and

problems they encounter daily. And, on a personal level, seeks to help the individual develop an

understanding of their thoughts or actions on a much deeper, unconscious, and instinctual

level: our basic human needs.

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References

Choice Theory. (n.d.). Retrieved May 9th, 2018, from

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasser%27s_choice_theory#cite_note-

Charles,_C.M._2008-2

Corey, G (2013). Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy. United States:

Brooks/Cole.

Glasser, W (1990). The quality school: Managing students without coercion. New York:

HarperPerennial.

Glasser, W (1999). Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom. New York:

HarperCollins.

Greene, B. & Uroff, S. (1989) Apollo High School: Achievement Through Self-Esteem.

Educational Leadership. 46, 80-85

Reality Therapy. (n.d.). Retrieved May 3rd, 2018, from

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reality_therapy#cite_note-Glasser_1985-4