The Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument was a very interesting test.

It was good to
evaluate myself and see some of my strengths and weaknesses when dealing with conflicts. This test
allows you to evaluate yourself and see how assertive and cooperative that you are in situations with
conflict. There were five categories that could be used to describe how you react in those situations.
This test allowed me to look at myself and see what categories I fit into when I face conflicts.
The first behavior that the test looked for was competing. I knew I would score low in this
category and I did, I scored a one. I am not competitive at all when it comes to a situation with a
problem. I would much rather talk with a person and maybe even give in to them, if it meant that we
could avoid getting into a fight over it. I want to be cooperative and not just ignore the other person so
that I can get what I want. I don’t want to put myself or my view above the other person because I
think I’m better. I don’t feel like need to compete for who’s view is better, I want to meet somewhere
in the middle instead.
The next section was about collaboration. I scored a four in this category. I believe that I am
very good at collaborating, so I was somewhat surprised that I did not score higher in this category. I
may not have scored as high as I thought I would because collaboration involves being both assertive
and cooperative, and I am not always assertive. I am very willing to work with other people and work
out our differences. However, I think I sometimes give in too much to the other person’s wants and I
sacrifice some of my own in the process.
Compromising is what the next section is about. I scored an eight in this category. This category
falls in the very middle and deals with finding the middle ground during your conflict. In certain
situations, compromising is the conflict mode that I rely on. When I compromise, I keep some of my
views but the other person also keeps some of theirs. This is the case when I have conflicts with friends
or people I see as my equals. I don’t rely on compromising when I am having a conflict with someone
that I see as above me or if the other person seems much more emotionally invested in the conflict. In
those cases, I often become less assertive and give up some of my beliefs.
The fourth section discusses avoiding. I scored a nine in this category. Avoiding is where you
just completely avoid the conflict all together. While it is not always the case, this is what I sometimes
do. I don’t want to hurt the other person’s feeling so I just ignore the conflict. I know this is not the
best way to deal with a conflict, so it is something I am working to improve.
The last section dealt with being accommodating. I scored a nine in this category. I predicted
that I would score high in this category because I know that this is my normal reaction to conflict. I
don’t like upsetting people, so when we’re having a problem I’ll just go with their concerns and give
up my own, so that it will solve our conflict. I really shouldn’t do this and I know that I should stand
up for myself more, but this is just how I am.
This test was eye opening to me. I’ve never really looked at how I approach conflicts, but this
test made me do that. I now can see some of the problems with my approaches and I see that I need to
make some changes. I do not always want to be meek and just give in, but I also don’t want to become
overassertive and uncooperative. I need to work to find the place in the very middle to use with most
conflicts. This is something I am going to strive to improve because being assertive and cooperative
are both extremely important in nursing and I want to be the best nurse that I can be.