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 This issue
May 2019

Travel
89 JUST THE TICKET
The latest travel tips and news
90 TRAVEL PREDICTIONS
Remember, in space, no one can
hear even the gays scream
98 THREE OF THE BEST
Hotels for stargazers
100 HOT HOTEL
Eden Bleu, Seychelles
Agenda
Active
13 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF’S LETTER
p36
14 ATTITUDE LOVES 104 ACTIVATE
What we’re thirsty for this month The latest fitness news and tech
20 THE BIG ISSUE p106 106 READY FOR TAKE OFF
Activism in the future Drag Race hunk and aerospace
22 RISING STAR engineer Bryce Eilenberg
“Cyborg” singer ANTIBOY 110 GROOMING
23 THE RULES Jellyfish collagen
For growing old disgracefully 112 MATT LISTER
24 BIG IN A WIG Fitness in focus
Anna Phylactic 114 A PROBLEM SHARED
26 COLUMNIST — AMROU AL-KADHI
Holding on to heritage Social
28 CULTURE CLUB
Attitude at 25 (yes, us!) 118 REAL LIFE
29 COLUMNIST — ANTHONY GILET How former trainee priest Owen
Future of dating O’Kane found his true calling
30 CARS 120 LIFE LESSON
32 HOMES American Dad!’s Roger the Alien
122 REAL BODIES
Features Drag star Timothie James and pal
Tom Taylor size up the queer scene
36 COLTON HAYNES 124 WORD ON THE STREET
The actor opens up about drugs, p50 126 TABLE FOR TWO
alcohol addiction and his divorce 127 BUDDY BRILLIANT
48 AVAN JOGIA p60 129 REVIEWS
Why the Now Apocalypse star is Books by Uli Lenart, films by Guy
going with the flow Lodge, music by James Barr
50 BEN HUNTE 133 HOMO FOMO
Breaking news with the BBC’s first Festivals, theatre, events and more
LGBT correspondent
58 IAN ALEXANDER Style
On how The OA is bucking trends
for trans actors 136 WARDROBE
60 HAMED SINNO Staying in
Mashrou’ Leila’s front man rocks 137 WATCH
out about gay rights and more 138 LIGHT SPEED
68 QUEER MUSUEM Shimmer and shine
Preserving our rich queer history 148 CRUSH
72 NEXT GEN Selfridges
Today’s biggest, boldest, bad-arse 150 FABULOUS BAKER BOY
queer voices Swimmer Mark Foster stands tall
78 FUTURE (IM)PERFECT with new Ted Baker clothing line
Crystal ball ready, we make our 154 COOL FOR THE SUMMER
predictions for the next 25 years Suits you, sir
84 BUSINESS PROFILE 162 FAVOURITE THINGS
Google’s Pedro Pino GQ Style editor Luke Day

MAY 2019 9
 Meet
Francisco Gomez de Villaboa,
photographer BECAUSE YOU’RE
My mum is a tornado! She is from HEMSWORTH-IT

the
Cadiz, Andalucia, where we are known The Hottest Chris™
for our cheek and sass, and throw shows us how to

team
shade constantly. I once took an ex- bottom and we’re
boyfriend home and she spanked his feeling things
butt. “It was so hard it hit me back,”
she said. She gets as hyperactive as I UPULENCE!
do and describes herself as “quality.” “You… earn… everything!”
OF ALL THE PEOPLE Definitely a character! Mercedes Iman Diamond
YOU’VE MET, WHO HAS gives Drag Race S11 its
THE MOST ATTITUDE? first meme moment
Cliff Joannou, editor in chief
I nominate my mum. Purely ‘cos the guilt she’d ALL HAIL, GRACE
serve if I didn’t would eat away at me for ever. JONES
Mum stayed strong despite what life has thrown The OG diva ruled the
at her, as when dad died unexpectedly. She will TOMMYXZENDAYA show
go out of her way to help others, but stay outta runway, and headlines
her way when she’s pissed off. Her balls are NYC and Brighton Prides
bigger than her boobs, and she has an ample
bosom. So that’s saying something KIM WOODBURN
The Queen of Clean
finally joins Twitter to
Darren Styles OBE, managing director call everyone: “chicken-
Is there a more loaded question? My mum, for livered shits”
sure. My fiancé Tom — hell, yeah. But probably
Star Trek’s original Mr Sulu, George Takei (above,

UP &
right). The attitude he has is channelled with such
positivity, despite his own country interning him
during WWII, when he was a small boy, because DOWN
he “looked like one of the people who bombed
Pearl Harbor.” To live through that and emerge
without hate is surely the greatest attitude of all
WHAT WE’RE ROCKING
AND BLOCKING
P R I N T / O N LINE / TAB LET / M OBILE

Editor in chief Cliff Joannou
cliff.joannou@attitude.co.uk
Assistant editor Tim Heap
tim.heap@attitude.co.uk
Features editor Tom Stichbury
thomas.stichbury@attitude.co.uk
Chief sub editor Hugh Sohn
hugh.sohn@attitude.co.uk
Travel editor/staff photographer
Markus Bidaux
markus.bidaux@attitude.co.uk
Sports editor Mark McAdam
mark.mcadam@attitude.co.uk
Editor at large Matthew Todd
matthew.todd@attitude.co.uk
Art director Gary Simons
gary.simons@attitude.co.uk
Designer Laurène Pineau
laurene.pineau@attitude.co.uk
Fashion and grooming director
Joseph Kocharian
joseph.kocharian@attitude.co.uk
Junior fashion editor Nick Byam
nick.byam@attitude.co.uk
Web editor Will Stroude
will.stroude@attitude.co.uk
Web editor Steve Brown
steve.brown@attitude.co.uk
Interns Josefina Martin // Indigo Taylor
attitude.co.uk
Head of partnerships Mike Buckley
mike.buckley@attitude.co.uk
Commercial manager Andy Goddard
andy.goddard@attitude.co.uk
020 3598 6741
Account manager Joanna Hill
joanna.hill@attitude.co.uk
01342 872041
Account manager Sean Lineker
sean.lineker@attitude.co.uk
020 3598 6743
Managing director Darren Styles. OBE
Commercial director Craig Lewis
Operations director Nigel Russell
Events manager Lesley Harris
Production executive Tom Doyle
Attitude, The Cowshed, Ladycross Farm,
Hollow Lane, Dormansland,
Surrey RH7 6PB
attitude@attitude.co.uk
Enterprise Centre, Kelvin Lane, Manor Royal, Crawley, West Sussex
@attitude.co.uk @attitudemag
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Prejudiced parents at
Attitude is now available through the Parkfield School stop
RNIB Newsagent service, which delivers
the latest news, magazines and stories in a range students learning about
of formats to people with sight loss. To subscribe LGBTQ equality
to RNIB Newsagent, call the helpline on 0303 123
9999, or email them at helpline@rnib.org.uk.
rnib.org.uk
A NO-NO TO BO-JO
Says spending police
Copyright © Stream Publishing Ltd 2019 all rights reserved. No money on investigations
part of this magazine may be reproduced in whole or in part
without the written permission of the publishers. Unsolicited into historical child sexual
contributions must be accompanied by a stamped addressed abuse is “spaffing money
envelope if they are to be returned. We cannot accept
up the wall.” Awful man
responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts and photographs or
for material lost or damaged in the post. Letters submitted to
Attitude or its editors are assumed to be intended for publication
in whole or in part. The mention or appearance or likeness of TRANGENDER
any person or organisation in articles or advertising in this
publication is not to be taken as any indication of sexual, social or MILITARY BAN
political orientation of such persons or organisations. Newstrade
distribution by Intermedia Brand Marketing Ltd, Unit 6, The Trans men and women
are due to be barred from
RH10 9PE. Tel: 01293 312001. Published by Stream Publishing Ltd.
Printed by Wyndeham Bicester serving in the US military
from 12 April
@attitudemag

10 MAY 2019
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 Editor
in
Chief ’s
Letter

T On
wenty-five years ago there was no equal age of consent, gay people were not allowed to serve
in the military, and the law did not recognise our relationships. Section 28 prohibited the
discussion of anything LGBTQ-related in schools. Trans people could not change their legal the
gender. Combination antiretroviral therapy for HIV was still years away. You could be fired by your covers
employer for being gay, and you could be declined service in a hotel, restaurant, shop or any place
in the service industry because of who you love.
It’s been a tough journey for many, but we’ve come a long way.
When Attitude published its first issue 25 years ago, it made quite a splash because of its new, um,
attitude towards what it meant to be gay in a fast-changing world. The magazine was loud, brash
and unapologetically proud of its sexuality in the face of a homophobic society. It embraced music,
film, fashion and travel, and set the tone as the place for people in the public eye to speak to the
community with issue four, in which Pet Shop Boy Neil Tennant came out.
But when anniversaries roll around, it’s too easy to reflect and pat yourself on the back over the
things you once did. (The wonderful Juno Dawson does that for us, on p28.)
For me, Attitude has always been about looking at where we as a
community have come from and who we are today, so that we can envision
Photography Leigh Keily
the best possible future for all LGBTQ people. That means embracing
change, whether you are a magazine brand or a proud queer person. To
“It’s always been Fashion Joseph Kocharian
Colton wears leather jacket,
stand still is to be left behind in a continuously evolving world. about where we by Diesel

That’s why we decided our anniversary issue would not be a retrospective have come from
of past successes. Our current position as the world’s biggest LGBTQ media as a community,
brand is testament to that, and as such here’s a giant “THANK YOU” to every and who we are
editor, writer, designer, stylist, photographer, sub-editor, sales person, intern
and team member who contributed over the years to get us to where we are
today”
today. (OK, so that was a little bit of back-patting. Excusez-moi.)
But I digress. We are not concerned with reminding people of the many
things we have achieved, instead we want this 25th anniversary issue to be the best example of
what Attitude stands for today, and has (mostly) stood for in the past. (I say “mostly” because we
acknowledge we haven’t always been perfect. We too are human, after all.)
This month, we bring you three phenomenal cover stars who deliver what Attitude is most-
well-known for: deep, introspective conversations with people who, by nature of their profile, are
Photography Francisco
helping to present LGBTQ people in a light that isn’t just gold-hot-pants-wearing Kylie fans at Pride. Gomez de Villaboa
(Although I dare you to try to get me out of my gold hot pants at Pride.) Fashion Nick Byam
Ben wears top, by AMI
In our 25th anniversary issue, we continue to do what we do best: shedding light on the flaws
and vulnerabilities that make us human, as well as uplifting each other and celebrating our
achievements. It’s a common theme that runs through our exclusive interviews with Colton
Haynes, Ben Hunte and Hamed Sinno.
Elsewhere, we examine how queer history has been overlooked for too long, and how it can help
us define the future. We look at some of the people who are shaping the conversations of tomorrow
through their art and creativity, and also have some fun and delve into two imagined future
timelines. I’m proud that this issue of Attitude is diverse, inclusive, adventurous and introspective.
It’s an attitude that we should all aspire to.
At the centre of it all is a simple question: what are you doing today to help you become the
person you want to be tomorrow?

Photography Michelle Helena

Janssen and Ade Udoma
Fashion Nick Byam
Hamed wears tank, by Maison
@CliffJoannou Margiela at MR PORTER

MAY 2019 13
 L VES

HANNA QUINLAN & ROSIE HASTINGS AND ARCADIA MISSA

QUEER SPACES: LONDON 1980s-TODAY

What defines a queer space and what is the cultural
legacy of these under-threat venues? Those questions are
posed in this celebratory exhibition combining archival
material and original works from artists such as Ralph
Dunn, whose photography series Public Toilets pays
homage to gay cruising grounds. The event, at London’s
Whitechapel Gallery, runs from 2 April until 25 August.

whitechapelgallery.org

14 MAY 2019
 L VES

RON DORFF
It’s no secret that tennis has led the sports style
stakes in the past: René Lacoste, Fred Perry
and Sergio Tacchini were all top players before
they established their own ranges. Sportswear
(particularly the styles of the Eighties and Nineties)
is having a fashion comeback right now, with brands
embracing everything from popper trousers, puffer
jackets and lots of logos. Ron Dorff has chosen the
Eighties and tennis stars such as Jimmy Connors,
Ivan Lendl, Björn Borg and John McEnroe as
inspirations for its new Spring-Summer ’19 collection,
which has a cool tricolore palette running through
it. There are bushed-cot
and “RD” polos for the t
tapered short shorts sh
retro fashion (we’re sure
Complete the look with
with “RD” eyelets — and

rondorff.com

MAY 2019 15
 L VES

BEOSOUND EDGE
Roll into the next wave of the sound revolution with the
Beosound Edge, from Bang & Olufsen. It’ll catch the eye
of your mates with its coin-like design and can be placed
on the floor or suspended on a wall. Another neat touch
is that the volume is controlled by rolling the speaker up
and down, allowing you to put a whole new spin on songs
such as I Love Rock’n’Roll (the Britney version, obvs).
But it isn’t a case of style over substance. No, the device
delivers room-filling sound courtesy of a 10in woofer.
And who doesn’t want 10 inches? Price: £2,900.

bang-olufsen.com

16 MAY 2019
L VES

MERT & MARCUS 1994

X DSQUARED2
Dean and Dan Caten have enlisted
the help of another brilliant
fashion duo for their latest project.
Fashion photographers Mert Alas
and Marcus Piggott have created
a capsule collection with the
Dsquared2 twins that celebrates
the Nineties. Tapping into the
hedonistic vibe of the fashion of
the time, the Mert & Marcus 1994 x
Dsquared2 collection has overalls,
bomber jackets, tank tops, hoodies
and over-sized tees, with boxy
tailoring in bright colours. They’ve
even dropped Kate Moss into the
collection, with photos from the
snappers’ archive finding their way
on to the clothes.

dsquared2.com

MAY 2019 17
 L VES

ALMA
With those neon-bright locks,
Alma is hard to miss—– and the
powerhouse pop goth is set to
grab even more eyeballs (and
wiggle her way into many earholes)
with her debut album. The singer,
from Finland, first made some
noise at the age of 15 when she
appeared on the Finnish version
of Pop Idol. Since then, Alma has
been turning up the volume thanks
to killer collaborations with pals
Charli XCX, Dua Lipa and Tove Lo,
not to mention her own late-night
hook-up anthem Chasing Highs,
released in 2017. Ready to bubble
over into the big time, the queer
artist, now 23, will unleash more
middle-finger-to-the-mainstream
bangers with her long-awaited
EP Have You Seen Her, out next
month. We think it’s going to be
to dye for… (sorry!)

Have You Seen Her is released

on 5 April

18 MAY 2019
L VES

STAR WARS: GALAXY’S EDGE

In a distant corner of the Star Wars galaxy,
you’ll find Batuu — home to Black Spire Outpost,
an infamous port for smugglers, traders and
adventurers.
It may sound far, far away, but you will soon be
able to visit. Set across 14 acres at Disneyland’s
Florida and California resorts, Galaxy’s Edge is the
largest single-themed land ever created by Disney.
Guests can expect to stumble across familiar faces
such as Rey, Finn, Poe, BB-8 and Chewbacca, and
even find themselves in a face-off with the villainous
Kylo Ren.
The thrills come in the shape of Millennium Falcon:
Smugglers Run where you can take control in one
of three roles: as pilots, gunners or flight engineers.
Meanwhile, in Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance,
guests can join a climactic battle against the First
Order, go inside a full-size starship, and even a nearby
star destroyer. You won’t have to Force us to go!

Galaxy’s Edge opens on 31 May at Disneyland Resort,

California, and on 29 August at Walt Disney World
Resort, in Florida

MAY 2019 19

Will there ever be a
non-homophobic future?
Despite there being a greater acceptance of LGB people in
the UK and society becoming fairer, we can never drop
our vigilance or activism, says Peter Tatchell
I
n countries such as Britain, there
is ever-greater acceptance of sexual
diversity. Public understanding
and support for lesbian, gay and
bisexual (LGB) sexuality and our rights
have soared. But what does the future
hold if this trend continues?
We know that human culture evolves.
Sexual behaviour is part of culture and
WARY: Peter Tatchell
therefore it too has evolved — and will
continue to do so. If we eventually move
to a post-homophobic society where
being LGB is no longer an issue, how
will this affect the expression of sexual
desire, behaviour and identity? How will
it affect the LGBTQ movement?
We already know, through a host
of sexual behaviour surveys, that a
significant and growing proportion
20 MAY 2019
of the population are open to both
opposite-sex and same-sex attraction.
As our societies move towards a
non-homophobic future, and as taboos
around same-sex relations recede,
many more people are likely to have
those relationships — even if only
temporarily or experimentally.
Equally, the demise of homophobia
is likely to lessen the need to assert
LGBTQ identity and to campaign for our
rights. Historically, LGBTQ identities are a
result of prejudice and repression. They
evolved as a self-defence mechanism
against homophobia and biphobia.
Faced with the persecution we
suffered because of our sexuality, we’ve
had to assert our right to be LGB. Hence
the emergence of an LGBTQ identity
and the LGBTQ rights movement.
But if, in the future, one sexuality is
not privileged over another, and if
defining oneself according to one’s
sexual orientation is therefore no
longer necessary as a defence against
prejudice, then surely the need to assert
identity and rights will decline.
When no one cares who loves who,
or who has sex with who, the need for
an LGB identity will diminish over
time. A person’s sexual orientation
won’t have the social relevance and
significance that it has today.
“More people are
likely to have same-
sex relationships”
The need to affirm heterosexuality
will also become redundant over time.
With the erosion of straight supremacy,
the desire and rationale for asserting
sexual orientation differences and
boundaries will decline. As we evolve
into a more sexually enlightened and
accepting society, homosexuality and
heterosexuality will begin to fade as
separate, exclusive orientations and
identities. The majority of people
will be open to the possibility of both
opposite-sex and same-sex desires, even
if they never act upon them. It simply
won’t be an issue.
People will no longer feel the need
to label themselves as lesbian, gay,
bisexual or straight, because in a post-
heterosexist society no one will care.
A similar transformation is likely
to happen with trans rights and
identity, although less quickly, given
the higher levels of ignorance and
prejudice around trans issues.
In a society beyond homophobia and
transphobia, we will no longer have to
fight for LGBTQ rights. We’ll all be free
and equal humans.
But, we aren’t there yet. There is the
threat of a growing Far Right, which has
traditionally targeted LGBTQ people.
There is no room for complacency.
Activism will be needed for decades to
come. The price of LGBTQ freedom is
eternal vigilance.
Peter Tatchell is director of the human
rights organisation, Peter Tatchell
Foundation
petertatchellfoundation.org
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Who is ANTIBOY and where does
he come from?
ANTIBOY is a trans human/android
from a future in which all social
constructs — including gender,
sexuality and race — have been
destroyed. Labels are no longer being
used to describe human behaviour
and characteristics. We have evolved
to a place of true equality away from
judgment and preconceived notions.
We have become what we choose
to reflect, rather than seen as what
society has set us to be.
This is probably a stupid question, but
do you, Harry, subscribe to any labels
when it comes to gender and sexuality?
I have very strong views when it
comes to identity, what it means to be
a man or a woman, and what these
traits of masculine and feminine
actually mean. I also choose to deny
the identities of “gay” and “straight.”
Everything is on a spectrum. We are
not one thing. We can be anything.
What prompted you to go down such a
conceptual route with your music?
ANTIBOY started as a rebellion against
what other male pop artists were doing.
He also represents the dismissal of
damaging social constructs, speaking to
those who don’t feel they belong or have
a voice in this world. I want to show that
you can have a voice with an identity
that differs from what is expected.
What void do you see yourself filling
in the industry?
There isn’t a gender-fluid icon,
someone who doesn’t abide by labels,
who says: “Fuck what the mainstream
thinks, or does.” I want to fill that gap
in a pop world that seems to have
misplaced its values. I want to be the
new voice of a new generation that has
started to view things differently.
Which artists did you have on repeat
when you were growing up?
I was obsessed with Shania Twain — I
used to dance around in my parents’
RI S ING STAR
Future
perfect
Singer, model and actor Harry
Hains, 26 – aka ANTIBOY – fast
forwards Attitude into a world
free of gender, sexuality
and race labelling
bedroom to Man! I Feel Like a Woman –
as well as Christina and Britney in the
early 2000s. I connected with strong
female musicians who owned their
sexuality. Now, I’m inspired by FKA
Twigs and Lana Del Rey.
What sparked the idea
for your single Devil,
“We should be open
specifically the lyric: “You about our vices, and
shine the devil into me”? own what hurts us”
Devil is about someone
causing the darkest parts of
you to come out, about letting yourself
be influenced by another person to
the point of your own demise.
Some people, or things,
can bring you to
your knees,
and that’s OK. We should be open about
our vices and suffering. We should own
what hurts us, so that we can evolve into
a better version of ourselves every time
we feel pain.
You also have an album, A Glitch in
Paradise, coming out. What was the
thinking behind the title?
The album is also a TV show that I’m
developing about a trans human
trapped in a virtual reality who relives
their worst memories over and over, as
if the utopia that they’ve created has
somehow malfunctioned.
What would you say is the biggest
“glitch” in society at the moment?
We are so focused on getting our
Words own needs met that we don’t really
Thomas Stichbury
Photography consider those of other people. For
Mitchell Nguyen example, we want women’s rights, and
McCormack
there have been positive strides with
the #MeToo movement and the rise
of feminism, but sometimes it
turns into misandry, the idea
that women are better than
men. We should be striving
for equality, no matter our
gender, sexuality or race. We
all share the same DNA and
should start acting as if we are 99 per
cent the same. Let’s start looking for
similarities, not differences.
How would you describe your sense
of style?
The clothes we wear tell a story
about who we are. Masculine and
feminine should never be designated
to clothing. Wearing a dress does
not make you a feminine person. It’s
merely an extended piece of cloth
that we have let be influenced by what
society currently thinks. Media and
culture have dictated what clothes are
appropriate for what person, but we
should be the ones to define what they
mean, not the other way around.
Devil is out now
@theantiboy
 TAKE A LONG, HARD LOOK AT

for growing old disgracefully

YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR and figure
out which parts of your aging mess of a
body can be nipped, tucked, squashed,
squished, smoothed and stretched. In
the immortal words of Ghandi, “Life
in plastic, it’s fantastic”

GULP DOWN EVERY OVER-PRICED, OVER-

PROMISING “ELIXIR OF YOUTH” GOING.
It contains the sperm of a snowy owl, you
say? Nifty. Just don’t let your new-found
beauty go to your head

DON’T START DRESSING AS IF YOU’RE ABOUT TO

POP YOUR CROCS — which have a special place in hell
alongside sweater vests. Wear. What. The. Fuck. You.
Want. But maybe keep those mitts covered. After
all, hands are just gesticulating birth certificates

MAKE AN ACCESSORY OUT OF YOUR CATHETER BAG.

Don’t let it affect your ability to hit the town, or your
pulling powers for that matter. Water sports, anyone?

CRACK ON WITH THAT BUCKET LIST. Swim with

dolphins. Tick. Check out the Grand Canyon. Tick.
Get inside Nick Jonas’s pink pants and
explore his, ahem, purity ring. Pending…

FINALLY GET AROUND TO OPENING THAT ONLY

FANS ACCOUNT. Show ’em that Werthers Originals
aren’t the only things you’re sucking these days.
Turns out that missing a few teeth comes in handy
when performing certain, erm, acts

MINCE YOUR WALK, NOT YOUR WORDS. You don’t

need to keep up the airs and graces any more. Open
that burn book, baby, and let’s start a wild fire. First
on the list is Mary Berry — you know what you did!

RINSE THAT BANK ACCOUNT. Make every penny from

your pension count… not towards making the closing
winter of your life more comfortable. Screw that. Let’s
have one final hurrah on Fire Island!

WAIT, MAYBE YOU DON’T HAVE TO GROW OLD AT

ALL. Strike a deal with this lovely (albeit worryingly
red-faced) chap here. His name is Satan and he says
you can stay young for ever in exchange for your
soul. That’s a bargain — we don’t have one any way

MAY 2019 23
 Anna
bg
Phylac
Packing star wattage, Anna
is an electrifying queen who
has given Manchester’s drag
scene a huge jolt. Approach
the self-described “shock
in a frock” with caution
– and carry an EpiPen
at all times!
What were your rejected drag
names?
Electra Shock. I also toyed
with Dr Von Shockswig — the
shame!
Describe yourself in three
emojis.
Describe your drag style in
five words.
Twisted. Theatrical. Surreal.
Artistic. Camp.
What keeps you awake at night?
The idea that we are in multiple
realities all at once, doing
different things.
Worst pick-up line someone
has said to you?
“Oh, Anna, Anna, bo-banna, I
wanna lick your minge out.”
True story – I was taken aback.
What’s the worst thing
someone could say to you
in bed?   do you travel, and what do you
“I’ve had a little accident.”
What is your safe word?
Pomplemoose.
What do you look for in a
significant other?
A pulse. At this point, I’ll take
what I’m given and be grateful.
If you could be any inanimate
object in the world, what would
you be?
A pink crocheted toilet-roll
cover, the ones that have a
Barbie body and a ballgown.
What would a film of your life
JOSE A GUZMAN COLON
be called, and who would star
as you in it?
Breathless. No one could play
24 MAY 2019
“I know hell. I’ve been there. It’s
being lost in an underground car
park, not being able to find the exit”
me as well as I play myself. Apart
from Olivia Colman.
What does happiness look like?
A pug in a blanket.
What makes you angry?
Having to scan my own food at a
self-checkout till.
What’s your life motto?
“We don’t pay.”
What’s your spirit animal?
Jill Tyrrell, from Nighty Night.
What would your own fragrance
be called, and what would it
contain?
Amyl Nights. It would contain
the scent of sex, with undertones
of smoky dancefloors and just a
hint of regret.
You can banish someone to an
island. Who are you sending
packing?
Kirstie Allsopp. Just imagine the
fabulous Christmassy knick-
knacks she could come up with
alone on an island.
You’ve been told you have 24
hours left to live. How do you
spend your day?
Doing all the bad things.
You’re dead (sorry). What would
it say on your headstone?
Here lies the legend, Anna
Phylactic. She had a lovely
time.
What does heaven look
like?
The final scene in
Titanic – except I’d descend
a staircase into a fabulous
nightclub filled with my loved
ones, lost in euphoria and
music.
And hell?
I know hell. I’ve been there. It’s
getting lost in an underground
car park for hours, not being
able to find the exit!
If you could make contact with
a dead celebrity, who would it
be, and what would you ask?
Oscar Wilde. I’d want all the
scandal.
You can turn back time. Where
do?
If I could turn back time, if I
could find a way, I’d take back
all the words that hurt you,
and you’d stay. [Is Cher in the
house?]
What would you put into a time
capsule of your life?
A bottle of gin.
When was the last time you
went into shock?
When I found out that a
strawberry isn’t a berry, and a
banana actually is. Nothing
makes sense any more!
@annaphylactic1
we are the

Proudly Independent.
www.ku-bar.co.uk

#INSTAMAN
@patrick.cout
WE’D LOVE TO PICK THE BRAIN
OF BRAZILIAN HISTORIAN
PATRICK COUTINHO, 26.
LET’S DISCUSS ANCIENT
CIVILISATIONS OVER A GLASS
OF RED AND SOME PRIME
SOUTH AMERICAN BEEF...
Need a study buddy, Pat?
The poor dear has forgotten to do
his trousers up — don’t tell him!
Looks as if the sun isn’t the only
thing rising…
26 MAY 2019
In my view
THIS
ISSUE
AMROU AL-KADHI MOBEEN AZHAR
I had to look to my past and
heritage to be truly happy
Drag is, in many ways, about looking to the
future. Through make-up, costume, wigs and
whimsy, you can build a new identity. This is, I
suppose, the power of escapism.
When I started drag at the age of 20, all I
wanted was to escape. I was
in a horrible situation with “I discovered male
my family who just couldn’t
come to terms with my Muslims who wear
sexuality (or the way I was skirts when praying”
choosing to live my life). I
was one of the only people of colour at my
university, which led to feelings of isolation,
and I hadn’t even begun to undo the layers of
gay shame I had inherited from being raised
Muslim in the Middle East.
Out of drag, I was an intensely anxious,
fragile person severed from my
family and my Arab heritage. In
drag, I constructed my own queer
family and built a character
who was fiercely confident,
fully Western, completely in
charge, and had absolutely
no shame when it came to
their queer identity.
I was using drag for the
same reason people get
hypnotherapy: to trick
my brain into believing
things about myself that I
wanted to believe. In drag,
I was no longer a scared
Arab person, certain
of their eternal
damnation.
Instead
I was in
heaven, and
invincible.
But I soon came
to learn that I was practising
an unhealthy kind of
escapism, where I denied
what I was actually feeling.
OWEN JONES DEAN ATTA
Whenever a night in drag came to an
end, I felt a sharp disorientation and even
deeper lows — the highs of drag seemed
like an illusion, only reminding me of how
vulnerable I felt whenever the wig came
off. And although drag
inherently rejoices in
artifice, my early drag was
emotionally inauthentic.
Instead of addressing the
lost relationship with
my mother, I assumed the role of the fully
sorted drag mother to everyone else. Instead
of investigating my Iraqi heritage, I put on
blonde wigs and dressed in looks I borrowed
from Western pop stars. I was using drag to
eradicate all traces of my heritage, erasing the
entire semblance of the person I was.
Did this tactic work? Fuck, no. It wasn’t
until I looked back to my heritage,
that I found some peace. Instead of
searching Vogue for inspiration, I
turned to pictures of my mother,
who wore ensembles to rival
any Drag Race contestant’s.
Instead of looking to Western
ideology, I went back to Islam,
and discovered that there are
male Muslims who wear skirts
when praying. Through
the memories that I had
buried away, I was able
to connect to my
upbringing
in a wholly
queer way. My
past became
a whole
treasure chest
of things I
could use for my drag.
Reclaiming the past has
been a way to create a happier
future, where all aspects of
me can co-exist peacefully.
Experience more on a short break.
hoseasons.co.uk CELEBR ATING 75 YE ARS

Bubbling hot tubs | Spa resorts | Romantic escapes


Culture
Club
by Juno Dawson
T his one is meta. It’s the
Scream of Culture Clubs
because, this issue, I’m
exploring the cultural significance
of this very publication.
Back in the early Nineties, it was
very difficult to access a plethora of
free porn, or indeed make your own
at home. For many a young queer
man, growing up back then, their
earliest experiences of clammy-
palmed self-frottage (aside from the
underwear models in their mum’s
Next directory) was quite possibly
Jambo from Hollyoaks covering his
giblets with a boxing glove on the
front of Attitude.
If not that, it could well have been
Lee from Steps soaping his bare bum,
or Max Beesley, or Brookie’s Tinhead.
Launching in 1994, Attitude was
sort of, on reflection, a gay version
of FHM, Loaded, GQ or Sky magazine.
Stuff that interests gay men, but also
a stack of dishy eye candy.
To be fair to the fledgling
magazine, the wank-bank material
actually came later: the first cover
star was Boy George, who was joined
on other early issues by thinking
gay-man’s crumpet Brett Anderson
of Suede, and Neil Tennant of the
Pet Shop Boys, who came out in an
exclusive interview.
As time went by, it evolved into a
host of gay-appeal divas (Geri Horner
née Halliwell has been on the cover
four times) and, there’s no polite way
to say this, boybands with records to
flog via the medium of their arses.
But all this unfairly ignores
the true impact of Attitude. I was a
confused wee queer in 1994, and
just seeing Attitude on the shelves
of WHSmith in Keighley (that’s
West Yorkshire) offered a clue that
somewhere, out there, there might
be other people asking the same big
questions that I was.
28 MAY 2019
CU LT U R E C LU B
Attitude led the
way for 25 years –
and still does
When I finally plucked up the
courage to buy a copy once at
university in Bangor (with Ivan
Massow on the cover), it was a
further surprise to find a plethora of
writers — older and wiser than me –
acting as distant mentors.
I’d survived coming out… but
now what? There was a whole world
out there, and here were a bunch of
role models showing me the way.
Attitude showcased the most relevant
“Issues took centre
stage: mental
health, poverty,
addiction...”
voices from the community: Patrick
Strudwick, Matthew Todd, Paul Flynn,
Paris Lees.
The Nineties saw unparalleled
change for gay representation in
the media. Reality TV dawned and
with it a host of affable gay men —
Brian Dowling, Will Young, Rylan
Clark-Neal — became very, very
mainstream, having thrived on the
fringes for decades.
Attitude too, perhaps, went less
Over
to you...
Your thoughts on
Attitude
I have an almost
complete collection.
Keep them because
otherwise gay
culture gets lost.
salacious and more legit. So flagship, @KeithWinestein
in fact, that political leaders and
royalty, from Justin Trudeau to I remember it always
Prince William, graced the cover. being on the top
Times changed, and the brand shelf, and waiting till
evolved. LGBTQ people woke up to there was nobody
the exploitation of the pink pound, about, to grab it and
and issues directly affecting our quickly shuffle over
community took centre stage: to the till.
mental health, chemsex, Grindr, @riotbug
addiction, poverty, eating disorders,
racism on the scene. I could never afford
It was no longer sufficient to slap magazines when
a beefy heterosexual rugby player I first moved to
on the front of magazine because he London but I bought
had a calendar to flog. The audience Attitude because it
demanded role models from within made me feel closer
the community and greater diversity
in terms of skin colour, gender and
to my community.
@RyanLanji
sexual identity, and body shape.
The rights that gay people fought I remember mostly
for in the 1990s are under threat in pleasuring myself
2019. Right-wing politicians all over looking at the ads!
the world seize upon unease around @mdlcsquared
globalisation, dressing it up as an
attack on “traditional masculinity.”
Attitude remains at the forefront Get involved
of visibility and activism, is still Next month,
proudly visible on the shelves of Christina’s Beautiful
WHSmith and continues to let young Tweet your thoughts
queer men know there’s a place for @junodawson
them in the future.

GUILLOTINA MUNTER,
Glasgow’s first lady of
drag, spills the tea on the
queens’ latest exploits
Season 11 is here and
SILKY NUTMEG
GANACHE has found
herself in hot tea
already. The plus-size
queen clashed with
season nine’s SHEA COULEÉ’S
boyfriend Dan Polyak who had asked
Silky to host an event in Chicago.
After declining on the basis that the
fee offered was too low, but then
trying to play the “don’t you know
who I think I am” card to blag free
entry at a later date, the shade
started flying on Twitter
and the receipts came
tumbling out. Phew!
Elsewhere on
social media, All Star
MONIQUE HEART came
for “real-life Bratz doll”
ARIEL VERSACE, saying
that some queens were only built
for Insta. The season 11 queen
defended herself, reminding Miss
Heart that they got on the show for
different reasons and that she’d
spent five years building a career
before being cast.
Lastly, the Haters Roast Tour in
the US recently lost both All Stars
four winners! Initially, MONET X
CHANGE pulled out of one show to
feature in Madonna’s new
music video. The tour
promoters Murray &
Peter then got petty
and pulled her from
the remaining tours — a
move that backfired
when good sis TRINITY
THE TUCK quit out of solidarity.
That’s no way to treat royalty, boys!
@ladymunter
In my view
THIS
ISSUE
ANTHONY GILET GARETH JOYNER MAX WALLIS JONNY WOO
The future of dating is, in
reality, the same old story
“Why don’t you re-download Grindr?” Darren front of me at Cher’s Beyond The Grave world
suggests, and we break into roars of laughter. tour when I spilt a drink down his neck.
“Oh my God, can you believe that’s how we We end up chatting for hours, until the
used to meet men?” We laugh again. lounge closes, while butterflies whirl in my
But it was bitter-sweet: stomach. So, when he
it’s not that we didn’t “All I want is to be invites me back to his, my
friends vigorously nod
enjoy virtual-reality
cruising but there
curled up with one their heads… and I agree.
wasn’t the same thrill as man, watching Drag “Great,” he smiles. “One
freezing your nads off on Race season 36 ” sec…” I assume he’s going
Hampstead Heath back to get his jacket, but he
in the day. And in many ways, VRCRUZ is the re-emerges with a procession of men.
new chemsex: Grindr zombies have evolved I remember when open relationships were
into creatures of the night, locked into their frowned upon, nowadays octouples are the
headsets and bashing themselves brainless. new norm. But waking up with
But it’s like the old saying goes: “It’s all fun seven strange men standing
and erotic video games, until you’re missing over you sounds like the scene
work to get sucked off by a hologram.” in Snow White that was edited
We are just a couple of traditional guys out when political correctness
who miss the simpler times of swiping was fashionable.
right on two-dimensional nudes, and All I want is to be curled up on
meeting real men. We are the sofa with one man, watching
at the newest, sexually Drag Race season 36.
fluid, gender-queer A lot of people believe that
lounge, which dating is hardest when
ironically hates labels. you’re older because of the
We’re here for physical signs of ageing.
my divorce party, But it’s less because
with the intention you’ve changed, and
of getting me laid. more because everything
Make one joke about around you has. One
renting a sexbot, minute you’re arranging
and your friends are dates through an app, and
staging an intervention. the next you’re meeting
As if I’d ever let bionic in sexual simulations in
dick tell me my taxi cyberspace. (Sex without
is outside. the STIs, as the marketing
A cocktail emerges phrase goes.)
from the centre of Dejected, I walk back to
the table, it’s been my apartment and as I open
electronically the door, I catch the eye of the
complimented by a new guy next door. He smiles
guy at the bar. And and says hello. And just like
I know him! He that, I don’t need a new-found
was in the row in solution to age-old love.
MAY 2019 29
 CA R S
Words Darren Styles

Jaguar I-Pace
wanted, free of constraints, to house all the
usual metal. With the battery packs set within
For our future-thinking anniversary issue, the all-electric, newly the floorplan, we start, essentially, with a
crowned European Car of the Year points to the direction of travel skateboard, and can push the wheels to the
corners for the benefit of both styling and

I
accommodation. It’s as clean a sheet of paper
’ve been writing about cars for as long as performance, consider this: this SUV-shaped as you could ever hope for,” he says.
Attitude has existed. And every new arrival car will hit 60mph from standstill in just 4.5 To drive, the I-Pace is pleasingly normal yet
is lauded by its maker as a breakthrough seconds, which is Ferrari fast. simultaneously quite different. The primary
— the next best thing since the last best The interior is a light and lovely place to controls are light, throttle response is instant,
thing was the next best thing. But the Jaguar be, especially with the optional sports seats progress is Rolls-Royce silent and — should
I-Pace, just named European Car of the Year, is lifted from the Jaguar F-Type and when you wish — absurdly swift.
genuinely one of those once-in-a-generation specified with the full-length glass roof. And, The battery weight beneath delivers a low
cars, maybe even a once-in-a-lifetime car. since a lot of conventional hardware is no centre of gravity in a fairly tall car, which is
It’s the first all-electric product from a longer needed (no engine, no gearbox, no reassuring, and so when pressing on, the car
premium European brand, and its breadth transmission tunnel), there’s as much space feels planted and is blessed with both grip
of capabilities — on and off-road (our as a Jaguar XJ limousine, but within the and composure.
Portuguese test drive included wading along a footprint of a car a size down. Prices start at £64,495 before a government
river bed and climbing a mountain) — throws Five can go anywhere in comfort, as Enid contribution of £3,500 reduces that to £60,995.
off many of the known Electric Vehicle (EV) Blyton might have said. That’s cheaper than an equivalent Tesla by a
shortcomings of old. It will, for example, The exterior, meanwhile, is one sharp healthy margin, and is the product of a
travel almost 300 miles on a single charge, suit of clothes: identifiably Jaguar, major premium-car brand with a
comparable to the range of a conventional but cut from 21st-century big dealer network. Plus, there’ll
petrol car on a tank of fuel. cloth. Designer Ian Callum be no more trips to the fuel
Jaguar I-Pace
Charging, on a public 50kw charger, to 80 points to echoes of the “cab pumps and the Wild Bean
// 90kWh battery // 394bhp //
per cent of its capacity will take 85 minutes, forward” CX-75 supercar Café, no more road tax,
513lb/ft torque // 0-62mph in
but upgraded 100kw chargers are coming on concept, and talks of the no congestion charges,
4.5 seconds // top speed 124mph
stream which will pretty much cut that in half. I-Pace being one of the and service intervals that
// 298-mile range // 0g/km CO2
About as long as a coffee and comfort break. most exciting projects of are two years apart. The
// From £64,495 (£60,995 after
The I-Pace has an electric motor on his stellar career. battery technology has an
government grant) //
each axle, which means four-wheel drive, “From a design eight-year warranty.
jaguar.co.uk
for optimum traction, acceleration and perspective, we were able Welcome to a greener
performance. And since we’ve mentioned to do almost anything we future. It works.

30 MAY 2019
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Flicking between 16 million-plus shades (including
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can compete with its melting-pot vibrancy, either. And that SW9 postcode is
about to become even more desirable with the launch of BRX, a development
from Network Homes in the beating heart of the community, just a three-
minute walk from the Underground station. Designed by PRP Architects, the
20-storey collection of stylish homes — from one, two and three-bedroom
apartments to penthouses — also promises private outdoor space in the form
of a balcony or terrace, and additional landscaped communal gardens. Plus,
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32 MAY 2019
 OUR BEST SUBSCRIPTION OFFER EVER!

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 Th e
h u r t i ng
a n d t he
h e al i n g
He’s had to hide his sexuality, battle anxiety and an
addiction to drink and drugs, as well as cope
with the death of his alcoholic mother and
the break-up of his marriage, but Arrow star
Colton Haynes has come through the other
side and is looking forward to the future
Words Cliff Joannou
Photography Leigh Keily
Fashion Joseph Kocharian
Location thanks to Fairmont
Pacific Rim Hotel, Vancouver
 Co l to n Hayn e s

Colton wears denim shirt,

by Rufskin, shorts, by
Gucci at MR PORTER
Colton wears
top, by Balmain
 Co l to n Hayn e s

olton Haynes wants to talk. To be precise, he’s

ready to talk — and there’s one heck of a lot of
ground to cover.
It’s a gloriously sunny morning in
Vancouver as the fresh spring air bites, teasing
the end of winter. A packed shooting schedule
on the current series of Arrow means Colton’s
given up his Sunday off for this month’s
Attitude cover shoot. I meet him in the foyer at
the magnificent Fairmont Pacific Rim hotel.
He’s waiting patiently, alone.
He’s rather bizarrely early. Attitude’s usual
cover shoot experience is that the talent
often arrives late, accompanied by an over-
enthusiastic (read: opinionated) press person,
and an agent in tow, who spends most of the
shoot sitting in the corner of the room on
their phone, occasionally glancing up to nix
an overly edgy outfit choice.
There’s none of that here today, Colton’s
flying solo and his rather pleasant team who
I’ve communicated with by email have left
him to it. I almost don’t recognise him in his
cap and the giant puffer jacket that obscures
his face. As I approach to say hello, I notice he’s
looking for Pokémon on his phone. He looks
beyond adorable. And, yes, I’m a little smitten.
I introduce myself and we exchange
pleasantries as we make our way up to the
grand Chairman’s Suite on the eighth floor.
I ask him if he’s excited about the shoot.
“Absolutely, and boy have we got a lot to talk about in the interview,” he says. There’s an
apprehension in his voice that surprises me. I learn later that it’s not because he is nervous to
share, but because he is now ready to close a dark chapter in his life.
When Colton came out in an interview with Entertainment Weekly in May 2016, the news wasn’t
exactly revelatory. It was more an affirmation of what many suspected. When he came out, he did
so to unburden himself of the pain of living a double life, and to help other actors in the same
position. It’s easy to underestimate the impact Colton’s coming out had, but his action had a
domino effect in Hollywood. These days, hardly a week goes by without an actor coming out as
gay, non-binary, queer or bisexual.
A few months after that interview, Colton told Out magazine how his father committed suicide
after finding out his son was gay. Little more than a year later, Colton was married to floral
designer Jeff Leatham. They separated after six months, and the on-off marriage is now definitely
over, with a divorce pending.
During that time, Colton’s mother Dana died from kidney failure, caused by cirrhosis of the
liver. Our shoot takes place two weeks before the first anniversary of her death. His eyes glaze over
and he works hard to hold the tears back when we talk about that time.
He’s visibly shaken and his voice breaks when he reveals how he was drinking heavily as he
watched his mother slowly slipping away. “She could smell the alcohol on my breath,” he tells me
as he shares the memory of her last days.
Colton was coming to the end of his own road to self-destruction. The past decade’s rise to the
top of Hollywood’s A-list came with a heavy price as he battled his demons. In a 10-year period,
there were only a handful of days in which he didn’t touch a drink, and his downward spiral
extended to drug abuse and hospitalisations, and ended with time in rehab, which he completed
just six months ago.
Now sober for the first time in as long as he can remember, Colton exudes the kind of self-
awareness that rehab can give a person after an intense re-evaluation of their life.
“This interview is a long time in coming,” he says when we discuss the fact that a shoot with
Attitude has been on his radar for a while. “I guess I just had to be ready.” >

MAY 2019 39
Your return to Arrow, as news that the show is coming to an end, also
represents the end of a major chapter in your life.
After Teen Wolf, I started Arrow in 2012 or 2013, I was asked to do
three episodes, then it turned into six. I came out in the middle of
shooting, and so much has happened since.  spiralling out of control to the point when I ended up in hospital
How do you feel, looking back at your public coming out?
It was tricky because there was a team of people telling me that
coming out would ruin my career. I had this crazy amount of shame.
But there were a large number of images floating around of me with
other guys. And the amount of support after I came out was crazy,
such as Elton John posting a picture of us together congratulating
me. I screen-capped every text. I had hundreds of messages from
people I didn’t know who had my email somehow. That wasn’t what
I thought it was going to be. I thought it was going to be career
ending. Now it’s not getting in the way of my career, thank God. I put
a lot out there on the internet and a lot has gone down in the past
couple years that I’ve retracted. But what I’ve learned is that being
out, you’re thrust even further into the spotlight because you’re the
next gay representation. Thankfully, I’ve made my way through it.
Is there anything you regret?
No. Every single thing, my over-sharing, my mistakes, things I’ve
done have got me to where I am now. I’m in a really good place.
I’ve had to make a lot of mistakes to learn how to become a better
person and what not to do. I’ve had to do a lot of soul searching, so
I can finally make solid, sober decisions.  A lot of bad stuff. We’ll leave it at that...
“I’ve had to make lots of mistakes to learn how to become
a better person. I’ve had to do a lot of soul searching”
Is there anything you would have done differently?
I don’t think so. Now I can just learn from all the mistakes and try
not to make the same ones again. I did it not just for myself but
because there were so many other people struggling. A lot of people
knew just how much I was struggling with it, with depression and
anxiety, and how I was constantly being told I couldn’t be public
with who I am. Once that happened, I felt that I lost this other
person, there was this weight off my shoulders. I couldn’t believe
how freeing it was.  foundation. I was just so unhappy with the way my life had gone
It became the first step on an emotional journey for you, like when you
pull a piece of string and all these other things unravel.
I came out and in a way my downward spiral started. I felt extremely
free but at the same time the amount of attention I was getting
was making me spin out of control. I got married, and that didn’t
work out. That was extremely public and heart-breaking, and right
when that was going on, my mom died. That was only a year ago.
At that point, I completely fell apart. My brain broke. I was doing
this massive comedy for a studio, showed up to work and got fired
on the first day. They said I looked as if I had “dead in my eyes”, and
I did. I think it was the best decision in the world to fire me. I got
so heavily involved with drugs and alcohol to mask the amount
of pain I was feeling that I couldn’t even make some decisions for
myself. I was drowning in my own shit. I thank God I was given the
gift of going to treatment and finally realising that I’d had this
crazy problem for so many years that I couldn’t handle any more.
40 MAY 2019
I was seeing a psychiatrist who said I was suffering from PTSD [post-
traumatic stress disorder]. I was wondering why I couldn’t walk,
and thought: “Oh because I’m drinking two bottles of tequila every
day and drinking mouthwash because it’s 26 per cent alcohol,” and
for a long time. Then I was able to finally get my shit together.
What was the most dangerous thing about hiding your identity?
The fake persona I built. Always lowering my voice, being told to be
seen with this girl or that actress. It was evident that I was hiding I
was gay. At the beginning of my career it was really important for me
to be in the closet. When I came out, I got all these offers then when
my destructive behaviour took hold, it was like, “Woah!” I’m lucky I
didn’t get fired from Arrow. It was that bad. It was the fake persona
that I built before, then building all these other fake personas, until
I got down to the root of my problems, and that was me.
Did your drinking and drug-taking snowball from occasional use?
In 10 years there were maybe 25 days when I didn’t drink. 
Is that just having a single drink on some days, or drinking heavily
regularly?
I remember when I started, it was a couple glasses of wine, and it
regressed into really dark times. I used to blame it on my anxiety
or depression issues, but really the root of all my problems was the
alcohol and drugs.
What drugs were you taking?
In that respect, your story is no different to many other gay men who
bury a part of their identity for so long. Then when they find joy in the
release of coming out, it’s the greatest gift but that release can also go in
the wrong direction and the drink and drugs can take over because they
haven’t really dealt with carrying that shame for all those years. Except
you were doing all this in the public eye.
I thought I was building this life that had this amazing structure
but what I realised was that it was built on a highly unsteady
as a child, my upbringing, choosing to be in this type of world. I was
so fogged over. I ended up in hospital a bunch of times, but I think
one of the worst was after my divorce started and my mom died.
I locked myself in a hotel room at the Waldorf Astoria in Beverly
Hills for seven days and was found in my room with these insane
bruises all over my body. It looked as if somebody had beaten the
shit out of me. I couldn’t walk, so I was falling everywhere. I almost
ruptured my kidney, ended up in the hospital, ended up in 5150
psyche hold [a way to keep someone in hospital involuntarily for
up to three days when there is a “serious need”]. I was on such a
destructive path that I could not function. If anybody else had told
me to get help, I would be like, “Fuck you! You have a problem, I don’t
have a problem.” I don’t know how I recovered from that, I had to
make that decision on my own. I was ready to stop running from
my problems, and stop the “woe-is-me” bullshit, and start owning
my shit. Once I went to treatment, I found this amazing amount >
 Co l to n Hayn es

Colton wears jumpsuit,

by Mert & Marcus 1994 x
Dsquared2

MAY 2019 41
 Col ton Hayn e s

“I found th i s
t ru e love
for myself,
without
t hose v ice s”

Colton wears hoodie, by

Fendi at Matches Fashion,
shorts, by Emporio Armani
 of true love for myself, and started figuring out who I am without
those vices, and recognising the people in my life who lifted me up
instead of tearing me down. I figured out where I fit, not having to
struggle, and making sober decisions.  I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t see. I lost partial sight in my
Was that experience at the Waldorf your rock bottom?
I hit so many branches on the way down. It started when I was
in hospital with my mom and the doctor telling me she had two
months to live. At that point, I was already in a dark place. I was
drinking tequila out of a water bottle. My mom knew and she was
dying from alcoholism. I wasn’t hiding it from her, I was breathing
alcohol all over her face. Looking back at those decisions, and not
being completely present with my mom when she was dying, that’s
something I deeply regret. I was there with her every day, every
second, until she passed away. But it was a slap in her face, she could
see I was going down this dark path.  life was so fucking fake. I loved to blame other people, and other
What did she say to you?
My parents had a difficult time with dependency issues. She said,
“You do not want to end up like me, you do not want to end up like
this.” She left me a note when she died that said, “Colton, if you don’t
clean your act up and pursue your dreams, I’m going to come back
and haunt you.” It took me four months to start the process to clean
up. The hardest thing I ever had to do in my life was look at my
mom telling the doctors, “Oh, I haven’t had a drink in two months, I
can wait another four months to get a new liver.” They replied: “You
can’t. That’s not going to be your outcome, you’re going to die.” It was
“ I was s l owly dy i ng an d was de ad b e hi n d t he eye s .
I r uin ed a lot of thi n gs a nd di d s o m uch da mage”
like looking at my mom as a child, and this crazy feeling of having
to take care of her the way she’d tried to take care of me growing up.
I had so much respect for her at that time because she wanted to
give it another fight, but she didn’t have any more time. That should
have been when I started cleaning up my act, but it just led me into
a whole darker other time.  when they don’t work out, because it makes them feel better about
You mentioned shame. What stands out as the thing you are most
ashamed of?
There are so many things. I think just being so public with every
post and every move. I was subliminally crying out for help. It
was something I did not notice until after. There are interviews
and photos where I gained tons of weight because my body was
rejecting everything. I was slowly dying and I was dead behind the
eyes. I took everything in my life for granted — my relationships
with my friends, my marriage — until it all left me. I lost almost
all my friends, and rightfully so. I ruined a lot of things in my life,
I did so much damage, but luckily I can now move forward and
try to clean up a lot of that. I didn’t understand the disease. I just
thought my original thing was like a lot of other people’s, it was
dramatic. But it’s a serious disease that no one prepares you for,
especially in this industry. I do think there should be a lot more
psychiatric appointments, more mental-health checks because you
are a product and there’s no smoke and mirrors around that. You
have to look this way, you have to act this way, you have to do this or
else they’ll find someone else. Trying to be perfect all the time is the
44 MAY 2019
most excruciating thing I’ve experienced until I realised that I don’t
need to be perfect all the time. It’s not my goal.
You then started that process of healing at the hospital.
left eye for a while. My brain and my body broke. I couldn’t function.
I ended up having two seizures. My time at the hospital was a rude
awakening. I didn’t know any of this was happening until I was
sober enough to remember it. I looked back to concerts or birthday
parties I’d been to, and I was blackout drunk, or bawling my eyes out
and blaming that on other things. I was fucked up.
Did you put yourself into treatment?
I did. I was in treatment for four months. I came out six months
ago. It’s just a different life now. It’s the best gift I’ve ever been
given. I was ready to try to live an authentic life because most of my
situations, until I started dealing with the fact that I was the root
of all these problems. And admitting that I was the problem. That
was difficult. When I started doing that, everything started lifting.
It’s like this rebirth. I now feel things, which is something I’d not
done for a decade. I was numb. Everyone’s like, “Oh, this is all just
spiritual shit,” but when you no longer have this filter stopping
you feeling, it really is a wonderful thing. I’m always going to be in
recovery. There are so many people struggling out there, but not a
lot of them talk about it. Life is much more beautiful than I could
have imagined. It’s freeing.
Acting, being in Hollywood, is such a devastating industry because you
are dealing with rejection, then suddenly riding these amazing highs.
Reading some of the things online was so heart-breaking. As
public as I can be, I’m really a normal person. I say what I want
to say, I’m open about issues but people love when things fail,
themselves. It was disheartening to see how excited people were
when I was failing. But I chose this life...
What drew you to acting?
My mom put me in West Side Story when I was a kid, and I caught the
bug. I loved theatre and performing.
Would you describe yourself as emotionally stable enough to handle
fame?
I’m emotionally stable for that now without vices, but nothing can
prepare you for certain things. I don’t think anyone is prepared
for it. It depends how grounded you are to help you in the peaks
and valleys of this industry.
Are you still in therapy now?
I live in therapy. I’ve been in therapy since I was a teenager. But it’s
not until you truly want help that you start the growth. 
What’s the biggest lesson therapy has taught you?
Feelings are not facts. You can feel all these things but most of the
time you’re wrong. We all have our shit. With articles like this, mine’s
going to be a little more public, but it’s not any different. Trying to
be as genuine as possible is my goal for life now.  >
 Co l to n Hayn e s

Colton wears denim

shirt, by Rufskin
 Colton wears hoodie,
top and sweatpants,
all by Moschino

GROOMING
Melanie Neufeld
@Lizbell Agency
FASHION ASSISTANTS
Nick Byam and
Josefina Martin

46 MAY 2019

What part did your father’s suicide play in your struggle?
Something I didn’t realise until recently was exactly what I’ve talked
about. “Blame this or that person, this is everyone else’s fault.” But
nobody is perfect. My father had a lot of pain, he was a two-time
cancer survivor. I’m a product of parents who had substance issues.
I remember in first grade not wanting anything to do with him or
anyone. I wanted to be on my own, do whatever I could to move
forward in my life and start a new chapter. But what I was really
doing was shutting everyone out and not letting people have a
chance to know who I truly was.
Did you find some friendships fell away after rehab?
There were a lot of issues that I hadn’t dealt with in my friendships.
There are a lot of people who don’t understand why somebody
could be sober. A lot of people decided they didn’t want anything to
do with me any more.  It was never fun when I was drinking and it’s not fun now. To be
It shines a mirror up to their own life.
Something that was crazy for me to realise is that I used to make
my mom feel as if she was a virus. The way I used to talk to her only
aided her demise. She was so upset with me all the time because I
was being so vocal.
What did you blame her for?
I was mad all the time because she was drunk, I was like, “She’s being
dramatic.” But it’s a disease, and I ended up the exact same way. I
wish that I could have been there to help her instead of being a
fucking terror when I was a teenager.
“Wh en I was younger, I tho u ght th at’s what yo u
needed to do to get ahe a d: t a ke s exy p hoto s ho ots”
Is it difficult to live with those feelings?
Not now. I still feel her all the time. I know people think that’s crazy.
I got to be with her the time she needed me most. I didn’t speak with
her for almost four years because she couldn’t clean her act up and I
wanted nothing to do with her. We only started speaking three years
before she passed away, but at least I got to have that time with her.
Another challenge of the past year was your marriage and divorce.
I will always love Jeff [Leatham]. He’s an incredible person. The most
talented person I’ve ever met. So loving. You know, people grow
apart. There would never be a bad thing I could say about him. I just
had to fall in love with myself and put myself and my life first. We
rushed into a lot of things, and it was extremely public which was
a massive, massive problem with our relationship. But that’s not
anyone else’s fault, that’s our fault. We put it out there, we became
that Instagram couple, and we weren’t able to keep it going.
When Jeff met you, he must have known about your problems. Was
it difficult for you to work your way out of your difficulties while
in that relationship?
Yes, he did. It’s crazy to even think about the answer to that. There
was no cheating, nothing bad happened. It was two people at a point
in their lives who couldn’t be together to be better for themselves.
I don’t know. It’s heart-breaking because the love we have for each is
something special, you don’t have that type of love often.  There was a part of me that was worried, thinking: “where’s my
You’re still in contact?
Yes. The divorce is not final yet, but it’s in process. We’re always
Co l to n Hayn e s
going to be friends and in each other’s life. What that’s going to look
like in the future, I don’t know. We’re not putting too much pressure
on it. I have so much love for our relationship. The good thing that
came from me being in a relationship, even though it very publicly
didn’t end the way we wanted, was that I was able to find myself. He
was always supportive and made me feel special.
How did you find dating? Is it difficult to meet people?
Besides all the people sliding into my DMs and stuff, I hadn’t been
on a date in ages, I had no idea how to meet people. When people
meet me, they think I’m going to be this 6ft 2in Instagram person.
I’m modest despite what people think. Yes, I’ll do a sexy photoshoot
but that’s part of my job, that’s just my shit, it’s something I have
to do. But it’s not easy to meet men. I can’t go to gay bars. I won’t be
able to have fun, you see the whispering, people take secret pictures.
honest, all I wanna do is play Pokémon Go. 
That’s cute. In your career, you’ve mostly played straight characters,
except in season six of Teen Wolf when you kissed Charlie Carver.
And I played gay in American Horror Story with Billy Eichner and
Evan Peters. I had to get fucked by both of them! 
The question that’s very topical right now is gay people playing gay
roles. Is there a worry that gay actors would only be cast in gay roles?
The fact is it’s not a level playing field, gay actors aren’t getting the
opportunities that straight actors do. It’s great to see show runners
such as Greg Berlanti and Ryan Murphy going out of their way to
cast people who are gay and people of colour and show support for
people who aren’t your standard straight white male.
Do you feel the industry is changing?
I do, but it has a long way to go. We can’t just cover the #MeToo
movement and say, “We did that, we gave female directors a couple
opportunities and black females opportunities to direct and be in a
couple movies.” It has to keep going. 
You mention the #MeToo movement. Have you ever been in a situation
in Hollywood where you’ve felt a producer or director has made
untoward advances to you?
Oh yeah, especially when I was younger. I thought that’s what you
needed to do to get ahead, take all these sexy photoshoots. That
was a part of my story going back to the XY [magazine] shoot when
I was under age. it happens all the time but I have more positive
experiences of people wrapping arms around me and actually
taking care of me.
The fancy dress Halloween stuff you do is genius. Where does that side
of you come from?
That’s my normal personality. I can be weird. I’m just goofy and
have stupid moments that I have to put to life. I didn’t do it last year
because I was in rehab, I was in treatment. 
Can you be that weird person again, minus the drugs and alcohol?
creativity?” But now it’s back. I’m getting to do things again. I’m
looking forward to the future.
MAY 2019 47
 The
journey
of
Ulysses
Canadian star Avan Jogia tells
Attitude about his role in gay
director Gregg Araki’s dark yet
humorous vision of sexuality
and identity
Words Steve Brown
Photography The Riker Bros
 Entertainment

S ince joining the Nickelodeon show Victorious (which gave Ariana Grande
her big break) in 2009, Avan Jogia has landed successive TV and movie roles
across a range of genres that have seen him transform from Teen Choice
Award nominee to certified prime-time star.
His projects have seen him playing young pharaoh Tutankhamun in the mini-
series Tut, and appearing alongside James Franco, Zachary Quinto and Charlie bit slap-dash to label myself or anyone
Carver in 2015’s gay-conversion-therapy drama I Am Michael. in a category like that. I have never
Now 27, Canadian-born Avan has joined queer film auteur Gregg Araki’s original felt comfortable with those kinds of
series, Now Apocalypse, which recently premiered on US channel Starz. absolutes and extremes.
After watching half of the series in advance, I spoke to Avan and found myself You co-founded a charity called Straight But
nodding firmly in agreement when he described it as a “visual onslaught.” Not Narrow. What’s the aim of it?
There’s sex, drugs, Teen Wolf’s Tyler Posey having an orgasm, and — a TV first for The idea was to tell straight people to
me — reptile creatures fucking random people in alleyways. stand up for their friends who were
Now Apocalypse follows gay-identifying but sexually fluid millennial Ulysses — being bullied because of their sexual
a role specifically written for Avan after he worked with Araki on a short film orientation. I was on a Nickelodeon
— and his liberal-minded friends as they pursue love, sex and fame. show, and I was thinking: “I don’t really
But Ulysses is tormented by dreams that make him suspect the presence of a care for attention if I can’t use it to say
monstrous conspiracy. Sounds great, right? something that I actually want to say.” It’s
“It’s flattering to have a part written for you,” says Avan, who will also be a movement to educate straight people
seen on the big screen later this year in the comedy-horror sequel Zombieland: that apathy is the biggest problem. It’s
Double Tap. “Anything that Gregg wants to do, I’m happy to be a part of.” the apathy of the majority. I wanted to
But how does an actor get into the mind set of a drug-taking, hallucinating, teach straight people that if you believe
tormented, gay millennial? that everyone is equal and you see
Well, Avan — who does not label himself on what he calls the sexual [discrimination], your silence is violence.
spectrum — found he was more like Ulysses than you might imagine. It’s as loud and as big a problem as the

Do you relate to your character, Ulysses?
He’s such an adventurous person and so
am I. I love that he believes in true love
and that’s interesting. He is motivated by
fate, and finding your one true partner
while still having casual sex and a great
time. We are very similar in the fact that
we both believe in destiny.
The show explores how dating and hook-
up apps have changed society. Do you think
finding true love is more difficult today than
in the past?
With this connectivity, you can find
someone to hook up with at any time.
With apps, you can order sex [as easily
as] a sandwich. That’s the case with all
this sensory overload. Between hook-
up apps, porn and Instagram, how does
anyone fall in love? I think that’s what
[Ulysses] is asking. Sometimes fun
can turn into true love. I don’t think
there is one way to arrive there but it’s
interesting and it’s definitely different
to how it used to be.
One of my favourite lines in the show is: “I’m
a millennial, sexual fluidity is a must.” Do
you agree with that?
Sexuality is a spectrum and identity
is not just one thing. It’s your racial
background, religious beliefs, where
you grew up… Your identity is built by so
many things, not just one. Gregg has been
talking about fluidity since the 1990s,
and culture has finally caught up. His
characters have never been updated for
the modern world, the modern world has
updated itself around Gregg’s characters.
The show also touches on the #MeToo
movement — do you think it’s important to
acknowledge those struggles?
People in power have been allowed to
abuse their position for millennia. We
have to do everything we can to fight
against these people. There are a lot
of things that have evolved from that;
there’s not just one element in play, but
there are lots of facts that make it the
world we live in. We have to do everything
in our power to bring it down and to fight
against people who really abuse their
power to take away the power of others.
You have very intimate moments with Tyler
Posey. How was it shooting those scenes?
[Laughs]. Sex scenes are always funny.
There’s no “dark sex” on Now Apocalypse.
“If you see discrimination,
apathy is a problem. Your
silence is violence”
The sex scenes are just beautiful, fun and
joyous. It’s mostly comical, like: “Raise
your ass cheek a little so we can hit that
lighting.” It’s all a laugh.
Do you identify as straight in real life?
My personal feeling on the idea of
labels… I feel there is so much at play
when it comes to sexuality. Sexuality is
a spectrum. It’s unceremonious and a
FATEFUL: Avan (right, as
Ulysses) with Tyler Posey,
who plays Gabriel
bully doing it. That’s what prompted it.
I haven’t been involved with the charity
for a while but I still believe that straight
people have to stand up, they have to be
critical of other straight people, they
have to be loud and tell others that if they
believe in real equality then they have to
speak up against aggressors.
Have you seen a change in attitudes towards
the LGBTQ community?
I’ve noticed nowadays that it’s not cool to
not speak up. The importance of speaking
up and defending people is a prevailing
trend in youth culture. It has not gone
away by any sense of the imagination, but
now it’s uncool to offend people and cool
to defend their rights to be the person
they want to be.
Now Apocalypse is on Starz Play every Sunday,
available via Amazon Prime and Virgin

MAY 2019 49
 Our man
at the Beeb
W
ill and I first met Ben Hunte when he
covered our podcast Homo Sapiens for the
Will Young and Chris Sweeney, co-hosts of
BBC. The podcast is our pride and joy, the the Homo Sapiens podcast, meet Ben Hunte,
favourite child of our jobs. It really started BBC News’ first LGBT correspondent
because Will and I are mates and we felt there
Photography Francisco Gomez de Villaboa
was no space out there to hear queer people Styling Nick Byam
chatting about every-day life in the way women
can on shows such as Woman’s Hour or Loose
Women. It received a great reception and has
grown to be an inclusive and diverse space where
we have chatted to incredible people from transgender
rodeo queens to Sam Smith and Troye Sivan. Will: You could be the new Alan
I’ll confess that the first time we met Ben, neither of us Whicker, who in the 1970s would be
knew he was gay for most of the interview. standing there saying, “And this is
I suppose we are so used to assuming that when it comes apparently called an orgy.” That could
to news, it’s usually told from a straight man’s angle. be you, “And this is a chemsex party.”
So his being the first BBC News LGBT correspondent Ben: [Laughs.] I actually like
— the vanguard of creating a space for LGBTQ people in the idea. For all of the stories
mainstream news and media — feels like an incredible I’m into at the moment I’m
achievement. remembering what is, in my head,
All three of us feel strongly that more space is needed in a mythical version of Barbara
the mainstream for diverse lives, not just ours but anyone’s in Northampton. I think about
in the wonderful spectrum that is being queer. Barbara from Northampton and
Ben, 27, is incredibly funny and warm and he exudes whether she would know what
positivity. He does something that all really clever people I’m talking about. I’m channelling
do: he questions everything that we assume to be fact, from Barbara in every story at the
the realities of LGBTQ racism to what his role as an LGBT moment. I think, “What does she
correspondent means. need to know about the LGBTQ
And if any of you follow him on Instagram, you will community?” Aside from that, I
see that he can certainly lift a weight or two in the gym. am hoping that the BBC is going to
I’m normally eating a croissant while I watch him bench give me an LGBTQ platform, such
press. as a podcast, so I can tell stories
Our chat with him was an absolute joy and we covered tailored to our community that
everything from why we’re all too woke these days to why don’t require a definition before
“Barbara in Northampton” is always on his mind. each one, if that makes sense. >

50 MAY 2019
 Ben Hunte

Ben wears
shirt, by Levi’s
 Ben wears shirt, by
Levi’s, vest, by Ron
Dorff, joggers, by
Acne Studios, socks,
by Puma at Sockshop,
trainers, by Converse

52 MAY 2019
 Ben Hunte

“I can’t sit down with

a parent from Parkfield
school and say I see
where they are coming
W: It does. Welcome to my pop career. I channel “What will from because I don’t” with this new role, and what is
Barbara want to hear?” If not, it’s in the bin. What stories are essentially a new life away from
you coming across? children’s TV because I couldn’t do
B: Well, I have only been in the role since the end of anything for BBC Africa. It was an
February. I’m trying to re-form the connections I had incredible programme and it was
with people when I was an investigative journalist for such an incredible role to have but
BBC London and Channel 5 News. At the moment, it’s it was difficult because it was like
mainly me coming up with the stories. I need to jump on being silenced. I understand why
a few trains, get up north and meet the community. I just that was because obviously there
I moved over from BBC Africa. Having been a children’s TV are people living within those
presenter there, it’s quite an interesting leap. I feel I need because there were concerns countries and you don’t want to
a rebrand and to get out into the different communities, about how African audiences put them at risk. You don’t want
to speak to people about their stories. I had my YouTube were going to see me, being an the show to be taken off the air, it
channel before BBC Africa, and they asked me to close it out gay man. That as an example has been a challenge.
down when I started. They asked me to shut down my says there is a story there about W: It’s making me think of when Chris
social media and start new ones to be phasing in Africa. being a black presenter facing an and I interviewed Skin. She said a
In my first piece in this new role, a few weeks ago, about African continent, a show that was great thing which was, “give people
LGBT History Month, I championed six of my LBGTQ broadcast in nine countries where a minute.” She was talking about
heroes. When I went to Brighton, nobody I met who was being gay is illegal, but here I am how she lived in the countryside
queer knew of any of them. [As well as news stories], we receiving positive messages every and they probably hadn’t met a
also need to put on a platform and be like, “Look, we do day from young people saying bisexual woman or a black woman,
have role models in our community.” things like, “Wow, it’s so nice to and probably never a bisexual black
Chris: That reminds me of Andrew Moffat, the assistant head feel represented on the screen.” It’s woman. When you talk about Barbara
at Parkfield School in Birmingham who is coming under fire great that these stories are being in Northampton, is there a sense of
for teaching LGBTQ-inclusive lessons. We interviewed him told, but they are being told within you being in the mainframe now
for the podcast. The work he is doing is extraordinary. an echo chamber. We’re patting so, “let’s just give people a minute?”
B: If you look at that story from the outside, you ourselves on the back, but Barbara Let’s not presume that they know
would think that Andrew was trying to teach horrific, in Northampton also needs to see everything to begin with, that they
horrible stories to these children. He was just trying to that trans women are doing great have seen everything.
bring them up to speed with modern life. As an LGBT things. People need to see that B: I had the same conversation last
correspondent, this is almost where it’s a difficult line gay men are doing more than just week. We were talking about the
for me to tread because I’m biased. It’s personal. I can’t being entertainers. We need to see fact that people are now so woke
sit down with one of the parents at that school and say, that lesbian women are adopting that they are almost offended
“Well, I completely understand where you’re coming children, and they are doing it very when people ask them questions.
from,” because I don’t. In my understanding, it makes well. There are different choices I think this is especially the case
no sense that your child wouldn’t be aware of it already. outside the mainstream agenda in the LGBTQ community because
If they’re not aware of it, then why are you holding that ultimately need to come in we spend so much time now being
them back from joining a modern society? I think what from the larger space. so proud of ourselves, and rightly
I could also do is add a positive voice to the mainstream C: How did you feel about having to so. But there is an opportunity for
media agenda. Attitude, Pink News, you’re all doing shut down your social media? learning. When you speak to some
it really well, but I don’t think mainstream British B: I was asked to, but I didn’t. I of these people, maybe LGBTQ
media is doing that. As I said, I’m coming from BBC have had to almost look at how media isn’t on their agenda, LGBTQ
Africa where I was asked to shut down my social media I can align my social media now voices aren’t on their agenda, not >

MAY 2019 53

because they are excluding them,
but they are just not where they
commonly consume the news.
I want to try to educate some of
these people because if you look
at, say, the idea of being cisgender,
I don’t think many people
really understand that term. It’s
something that we as a community
have taken on. I still remember
the day I had to google it because
I was hearing people on podcasts
talking about it. I thought, “What
is cisgender and what does that
even mean?” Now, a few years later,
we can’t leave people behind where
we are talking in one language and
they are talking in another, and
they are almost afraid of asking us
questions. Another example with
that is chemsex. When you drop it
into every-day conversation and
someone just gives you that look,
it’s like, “Well, let’s take a moment.
Do you know what chemsex is?
Do you understand it?” There is
an opportunity for us to step back
and define things. Then once we
have defined things, if people
are still ignorant then that’s on
them. That’s when we can say,
“Look, we have put it out there. The
information is there and you just
ignored it.”
C: We get a lot of messages from
listeners saying we need to talk about
racism within the LGBTQ+ community
because it’s a real problem, particularly
with Grindr profiles that say things
such as no black people, no Asians.
How can we tackle that?
B: I’m going to spin it. I’m going to
give a different perspective because
54 MAY 2019
“When I was living in Asia,
I could not date an Asian
man. They saw me as a
kind of foreign criminal”
I am yet to face racism here. When
I was living in Asia, racism was
a day-to-day occurrence. I could
not date an Asian man. It was
interesting. They saw me as some
kind of foreign criminal who was
in their country, and they didn’t
want anything to do with me. In
four years in Asia, I didn’t date a
single Asian person. Coming back
to the UK, I didn’t suffer racism in
that traditional respect of the no
blacks, no Asians. What I did get
was a lot of fetishising — a lot of
people who wanted to be with me
because I’m bulky, because I have a
deep voice, because I look and act
a certain way. That presented its
own difficulties, especially when
you’re out there just trying to find
comfort in the community and
you just want to feel loved, and
sometimes you go to that negative
person who wants you for a certain
thing. In this role, I am going to be
trying to shine a light on things
like that because we do hear a lot
about the racism in the traditional
sense, but we don’t hear a lot about
the fetishising.
C: Where were you born and where did
you grow up?
B: I was born and grew up in
Walthamstow, East London. I moved to Malaysia to
study at university, then on to Dublin and I worked
across Europe before moving back to London to work
for the BBC.
W: Why did you go to Malaysia?
B: I was outed at school and felt the UK was a very small
place. I felt everybody knew me. Obviously, they didn’t but
I felt like no matter what university I went to in the UK,
someone would know me and know my story. I wanted
a fresh start so I applied to NYU (New York University)
to study medicine and got a scholarship. A few months
before I started — I’d already thrown my leaving party to
say that I was going to New York — they withdrew the
scholarship because of the financial climate, so I started
looking elsewhere. I basically fell in love with the idea of
studying abroad. I managed to find a university in the
middle of a jungle in Malaysia where I could study my
medical thing and nobody would know me. It just so
happened that they liked me as well, so they gave me an
all-expenses scholarship. I didn’t pay for anything. I had
all of my flights, food, accommodation and the course
covered for all the years of my degree. I ended up leaving
with a neuroscience degree, and started a magazine at
an events agency in Malaysia. It did quite well and I fell
in love with business and I went to study business. I got
picked up by Google and that was that. It was a bit of a
journey but I didn’t know that it was illegal to be gay in
Malaysia until I got there and I was already out. I didn’t
google it carefully enough before I went there. If I had, it
probably would have put me off but I had the best four
years. Now, I’m always trying to chase that good time
because it was incredible.
C: Really? Were you accepted and did it feel like it was illegal
on the ground?
B: It felt very illegal. My university was a small campus.
One of my friends, their dad was a part of RELA, the
Religious Enforcement of Law Authority, or something
like that. Their task was to go around hotels within
Kuala Lumpur and knock on people’s doors, checking
who they were, if they were a couple, that they were
married, that there weren’t two men sharing a bed. If
they found something, they would take you out of your
hotel room, put you in a van and have you for the next >
 Ben Hunte

Ben wears t-shirt,

by AMI

MAY 2019 55
Ben wears jacket, by Levi’s,
jeans, by Lee Jeans

GROOMING Kristopher
Smith, using MAC Cosmetics
and Bumble and bumble
PHOTOGRAPHY ASSISTANT
Tariq Walsh
FASHION ASSISTANTS
Will Simons and
Josefina Martin

56 MAY 2019
 Ben Hunte

“The same day a friend

of mine came out to his
parents, he was found
few weeks. You’d always hear stories like that. But I also hanged in his room” journey and given what you’ve just
became the president of the students’ association, so shared, becoming BBC News’ first LGBT
I was completely accepted. I learned quite a lot, and I correspondent, it’s rather poetic.
think I was accepted because I didn’t make it a thing. A B: It is, in some ways. We’ve all
lot of people who went over to Malaysia — British and got our own struggles. We’re all
gay — tried to change things, and they tried to force it on our own journeys. For me, it’s
in people’s faces that they’re LGBTQ. They would go over important to reflect but it’s also
with rainbow hair, they wouldn’t wear shoes around the important to look at where I am
city, and they would force LGBTQ on a country that was going. I don’t [look back] often
very against them. For me, I went over as myself and was because I don’t like it. My journey
open about the fact that I’m gay, and for a lot of people it. I think an interesting point on was dark. There’s not that much
I was the first gay person they met. They had only ever this is within my school, there have positivity that came out of my
seen Neil Patrick Harris on How I Met Your Mother. They only ever been three out gay people. younger years. I was confused
had seen him in shows, then learned that he was gay and One of them was Kele Okereke from about what I was. I was dating
turned against him, but they had never met an actual Bloc Party, who left the school and girls. I was bisexual for the longest
out gay person. By putting that in real-life terms, there came out as bisexual many years time, and I continued to date
wasn’t anything that people could hate me for because it later, so he wasn’t even out at girls. I only came out because I
was just like, “Well, you liked me before you learned I was school. There was me, and there was outed. Looking back isn’t a
gay, and now I’m gay and nothing has changed.” was also a guy who was one of my positive thing. I posted about it
W: You’ve lived one hell of a life. I was waiting for you to tell friends in school, who followed just a few weeks ago, about the
me that you’d won the Nobel Peace Prize. the same route as me. He went 10-year challenge. How wonderful
B: No, not quite. I just appreciate different experiences. to medical school. He wasn’t out it must be to look back 10 years
I jump in and enjoy them. With this role, people have in school but he came out later. and feel, “Oh, it was great. I had a
almost made it more of a thing than I have. I’m excited The same day he came out to his wonderful time. This is me back
that the BBC [appointed me], and I think it’s great, but parents, after saying that he had then!” Ten years ago, I was so
I’m going to jump into it. I’m going to try it out and we’ll been in a relationship with a guy broken, I didn’t know what to do. A
see how it goes. he met at university where he was few weeks ago, when my first piece
C: Let’s talk about when you were outed at school. studying medicine, he was found for BBC News went out, I received
B: I fell in love with my best friend and we agreed that hanged in his room. a lot of [racist and homophobic]
we were going to come out together and be a couple W: That is cruel. comments. Even if I attract haters
in public — we both had girlfriends at the time. I went B: The idea that coming out is this along the way, or people that
into school and a person had printed out our secret wonderful thing and we should all don’t like my sexuality, nothing
MSN conversation but had removed his part of it, so it do it, doesn’t apply to everybody. will ever compare to my feelings
just looked like it was me dedicating my life to him and I have been on such a ridiculous when I was growing up. Nothing
wanting to be with him. I walked into school and people journey, through being out to going will test me in that way. I am out
had read that. It was the worst thing. to a country where it was illegal to there representing young people
W: It really does sound like the worst. How do you feel that be gay, to moving back to the UK who may not have the best coming
someone did that? and starting up a YouTube channel out journey, but in the future they
B: I feel like in some ways, I’m glad I survived it. That’s all about my relationship and stuff. may be blessed with greatness. If I
I can really talk about with that because if I had known Nothing can be as bad as some of can uplift those people, then my
a way to get out of that situation, as gruesome as that the things that I’ve experienced. job is done.
sounds, I would have taken it. It wasn’t on my mind. I W: There’s nothing worse than being
didn’t know what to do with it, so I just had to flow with silenced and vilified. Given your @BenInLDN

MAY 2019 57
 As sci-fi thriller
The OA returns
to our screens,
Ian Alexander
reveals how it feels
to be the only
Asian-American
trans actor on our
screens, what’s
in store for his
character and his
hopes for the future
Words Tim Heap
Photography Luke Fontana

BUCKING
THE TREND

58 MAY 2019

T he second season of sci-fi
thriller The OA has finally
made it to Netflix more than
two years after the first series
ended. And, as before, the action focuses on
co-creator Brit Marling’s character Prairie, a
dimension-crossing angel aided by a motley
crew of high-school misfits.
Among this band of outsiders — including
misunderstood bully Steve, grieving teacher
BBA, and high-achiever French — is Buck, a
trans teenager played by Ian Alexander. At the
time of filming the first series, Ian was 14 and
had to be chaperoned on set by his mother.
According to GLAAD, he was the only Asian-
American trans actor on screen in 2016. It
was also his on-screen acting debut, having
auditioned for the role via Tumblr.
“I saw the open casting call for the first
season, and it seemed so specific to me that I
just felt an obligation [to audition],” he says.
“With some encouragement from friends,
I thought: ‘Why not go for it? If something
happens, it happens and if not’… When I got a
reply, I was so amazed that it was real and not
some sort of weird fever dream I was having.”
Alongside acting (he recently moved to LA
to focus on his career), Ian, who turns 18 in
April, is also dipping his toes into the world
of activism. He’s outspoken on Twitter (his bio
includes “NO TRUMP NO KKK NO FASCIST USA”),
he’s worked with queer youth organisations to
help promote LGBTQ rights, and is not short
of an opinion on what it’s like to be a trans
teenager in contemporary America.
How much more does the audience get to
know Buck and the rest of the group in the
new season of The OA?
There are two episodes of the new series
that focus on Buck and the boys and their
journey, so there’s a lot more screen time
for Buck and a lot more opportunity for
viewers to get to know him. There’s a lot
more dialogue, too [laughs]; a lot more
lines to learn. There’s also much more
action between him and the others. You
get to know his intentions and understand
his trust of OA and desire to help her. In
part two, the group believes that she’s in
danger, so they’re trying to help her but
they don’t know how. It’s a physical and
mental journey for them, especially for
Buck. You get to see different sides to him.
Were you prepared to come out as trans on a
Netflix-wide level?
We filmed in 2015, and I had come out
about nine months before I auditioned.
I was in that early phase of thinking I
wanted the whole world to know so it’s
been sort of the perfect opportunity for
me to tell everyone that I am who I am
and I’m proud of the fact that I’m trans.
I didn’t really consider any negative
consequences because I had already faced
a lot of rejection from my parents. I was
hoping that if I played a trans character on
a show, maybe it would help them come to
terms with my identity a bit better.
Did that turn out to be the case?
My parents are very religious, so the fact
that I’m trans and queer does conflict
with their beliefs. It’s been very difficult
ONE OF THE GANG: Ian as
Buck, with the rest of the
high-school misfits
for them. They still love me very much and
they’re extremely supportive of my acting
career, just in a way like, “Oh, you’re such
an amazing actress, you’re going to win
best actress at the Oscars,” or whatever.
But my mom went to the set with me
because I was only 14 when we started
filming, and it sort of forced her to start
using my correct name and pronouns,
at least around other people, because
on set everyone just knew me as Ian and
would say “he” and “him”. When she used
my birth name and female pronouns,
everyone was confused. My heart would
flutter every time she called me Ian or
used male pronouns.
It struck me that Buck’s “transness” is quite
downplayed in the first season. Does that feel
like progress to you — to not focus too much
“My heart fluttered when
my mom called me Ian
or used male pronouns”
ENTERTAINMENT
of his storyline on his gender identity?
Absolutely. When I read the scripts, I
was blown away by how his transness
doesn’t define his character. He’s still
part of the story, not just because he’s
trans but because he happens to be
there. I thought that was amazing. More
shows and movies should include trans
characters just casually because we do
exist. There are little hints to Buck’s
identity but it’s not all he ever talks
about, which is great because you get to
see his development as a character and
not just as a trans person.
Did the writers consult you about Buck’s
character development as a trans man?
When part two was being written, they
called me to ask if I was comfortable with
a potential plot line, and they were open to
suggestions and asked me to speak up if I
felt anything was wrong or if the wording
needed to be changed. But that’s been the
case for every one of my projects so far, and
I’ve been so grateful that the directors I’ve
worked with want to put my experience as
a trans man into my character so that it’s
an accurate representation.
Do you hope that in the future you’ll be
able to play roles where your character isn’t
necessarily trans?
When I start taking testosterone in April,
I’ll be able to pass as a cis man, so that’ll
open up the world to me playing roles
where I’m just a man and a teenager. The
industry’s progressing and I’m sure one
day there’ll be opportunities for trans
actors to play not only trans roles.
How do you feel as a trans teenager in America
today? What are your views on the future,
during and beyond Trump?
As a trans person, I have found his
presidency horrifying. But with all of this
negativity and darkness, there is an even
stronger push of the opposition towards
light and unity, and it’s given me a lot of
hope to see people standing up for all
minorities who are being targetted by
his administration. Everyone has taken
a stand on issues they may have ignored
in the past, and I feel this generation is
going to be in the textbooks of history in
the future.
The OA: Part Two is on Netflix now
MAY 2019 59
Leading
the charge
Mashrou’ Leila front man Hamed Sinno lifts the
lid on why he’ll never stop pushing for LGBTQ
rights, the band’s darkest days and his
resemblance to a certain pop legend…
Words Thomas Stichbury
PHOTOGRAPHY Michelle Helena Janssen and Ade Udoma
FASHION Nick Byam

60 MAY 2019
 Hamed Sinno

Hamed wears tank,

by Maison Margiela
at MR PORTER
 Hamed wears jacket, by Palm
Angels at Selfridges, top, by
Amiri at Selfridges, trouser
by The Kooples,
boots, by Camper

62 MAY 2019

e are sitting across from each other in an
Italian restaurant burrowed away in London’s
Hackney, deep in conversation, when
suddenly his mobile phone shudders into life.
There’s a familiar flash of magenta pink: a
Tinder message notification.
This would be a potentially awkward
hiccup in proceedings were I detailing a
date. However, this is a strictly professional
tête-à-tête with Hamed Sinno, the charismatic
and unabashedly gay front man of indie-rock
outfit Mashrou’ Leila, the biggest band to
come out of the Middle East.
I tell him to read it.
“I’m all right. I have no idea who that is,
better to avoid,” he replies sheepishly, turning
his phone over on the table.
We return to our conversation and the
Lebanese singer-songwriter continues
in his attempt to put a finger on why he
thinks the group — completed by violinist
Haig Papazian, drummer Carl Gerges and
guitarist Firas Abou Fakher — has struck
such a chord with music fans all around
the world. Last month they celebrated their
10th anniversary and, hot on the heels of
that milestone, released The Beirut School, an
album that includes the latest single, Cavalry.
Not bad when you consider the band’s name
translates into English as overnight project.
“I still don’t understand why anyone gives
a shit about what I have to say. Maybe it helps
that my violinist has great arms and my
drummer is beautiful,” he smiles.
“I think the world cares about the Middle
East right now. We’re all increasingly
connected and starting to fight the same
stuff. It’s easier to identify common enemies.
“I feel just as invested in Lebanon being like
‘Fuck you, Theresa May’, and ‘Fuck you, Donald
Trump’ as someone [in the UK] would be.
We meet the day after the quartet’s roof-
raising gig at the Roundhouse in London, one
of the stops on their European tour. Hamed, it
transpires, has a real affinity with the capital
as he embarks on a trip down memory lane.
“London was really formative for me. After
my dad died, for three years when we were
touring Europe, I’d take an extra week at the
end, just to come here basically to do whatever
drugs I could get my hands on,” he recalls.
“[It was] a coping mechanism, but also
just what I needed to do at that point in
my life to feel comfortable being in my
body around men. I’m not a very confident
person and drugs just made it easier for me
to take my clothes off.”
These days, Hamed, 31, has embraced
sobriety and doesn’t miss the hazy highs one
jot. “I don’t like partying all the time, I don’t
think I should be partying all the time.
Hamed Sinno
“I’d just end up doing drugs so I could party
all the time.
“A couple of days ago I had dinner with a
friend who I met back when I was using, and
who I used to have inebriated sex with, on and
off, for a few years.
“Now we’re both sober, eating together and
talking about adult things!”
Hamed casually mentions that he has
also given up eating carbohydrates — in a
bid to control his anxiety. “A ketogenic diet is
“I don’t like partying
all the time. I don’t
think I should be”
where you don’t do any carbs and you try to
get your body to process fat instead of sugar,”
he explains. “They use it to alleviate autism
and epilepsy, and for some reason it has an
incredible effect on anxiety. I’ve been less
anxious for three months.”
He has no problem mapping where his
mental-health issues began, following the
most difficult chapter of his career.
On 22 September 2017, a performance in
Cairo took a deeply troubling turn when two >
MAY 2019 63
concert-goers were spied flying rainbow flags
in support of Hamed. The show of solidarity
sparked a witch hunt, as the Egyptian
authorities clamped down on LGBTQ people
in the region.
Seventy-five people were arrested, others
fled the country in fear, and there were
reports of forced anal examinations.
“It feels almost wrong to say anything
about how it affected us but we’re still
not over it. The band broke up for a good
eight months… basically I sent in a letter of
resignation saying that I couldn’t do it any
more because we ended up fighting all the
time afterwards.
“It fucked with all of our heads,” Hamed
explains. “It was not an OK amount of hate to
be exposed to. I grew up visibly gender-non-
conformant in a culture that is not down with
that. I know what hate is. This was not that.
This was unprecedented.”
Revered for their politically pumped
anthems about everything from religion to
being LGBTQ, it is no surprise that Mashrou’
Leila have been banned from performing
in certain places in the Middle East: Jordan
(twice) and, most recently, Kuwait — where
LGBTQ rights, in particular, are restricted or,
worse, non-existent.
“It feels horrible being told you can’t
perform but at least the bans have sparked
a conversation about the horror that is
institutionalised homophobia. People don’t
talk about it when you arrest one person off
Grindr because it’s not this major story.”
Being attacked online and bombarded
with threats is sadly just par for the course, a
part of the job that Hamed has learned, with
difficulty, to shrug off. “I wish I could say that
64 MAY 2019
the positive stuff made the negative OK but
one comment such as: ‘Fuck you, fag’, will
break me. It is what is.
“When we’re touring in the States, we ask
for bomb-sniffing dogs and metal detectors at
the door because everyone in the US has a gun
and that shit is scary, especially after Orlando.
“[But] I’m not going to stay at home and
stop my life because of some bullshit Islamist,
or bullshit white supremacist,” he maintains.
“I am scared, I’m just not discouraged. In
the past 18 months, I’ve had to experience
being discouraged and what that did to me,
and it’s not an amount of power I’m going
to give these people any more. They don’t
deserve it.”
Championed as a spokesperson for the
Arab queer community, Hamed admits there
is a pressure to speak out.
“There is this expectation that Arab artists
need to rise to that political expectation.
People have that with black people [too]. If
you’re making rap, it needs to be political,
otherwise why are you making this music,
unless it is resistant. It’s not a rule break that
is applied to non-musicians of colour.
“It’s not completely annoying because I’m
that kind of person. I do care about these
things. I’m so happy, honoured and shocked
to be given a platform to talk about my
opinions. That said, I don’t think it’s possible
to speak for anyone else. I can speak for
myself. I would hate it if someone decided
to come and speak for me. We can’t paint gay
people with one broad brush,” he warns.
Press coverage in the Arab media about
Mashrou’ Leila is devoted to Hamed, as a
rare “out” figure but he insists more column
inches should be given to his band mates, all
of whom are straight men thrust on to the
front line of fighting homophobia.
“This is business as usual for me. I’m a gay
man in the public eye, of course people are
going to hate me. Their position is fucking
phenomenal,” he exclaims. “Three straight
men who actually have to get a taste of what
the rest of us have to live through.
“If I were to write a dissertation, it would be
about the possibility of embodying someone
else’s oppression temporarily.”
“I know what hate
is. This wasn’t
that — it was
unprecedented”
As the band enjoys more success in the West
and with plans to release songs in English,
Hamed is keen to challenge outdated, and
inaccurate, views of the Arab world. “There is
no argument, we are so far away from where
we need to be when it comes to human rights.
But in a lot of ways so is the rest of the world.
Don’t get me started on the States.
“Our career is always framed with so much
sensationalism and exceptionalism, it makes
it look like [what the band represents] is >
 Hamed Sinno

Hamed wears jacket,

by Dsquared2, shirt, by
Comme des Garcon
at Matches Fashion,
trousers, by Fendi

MAY 2019 65
 Hamed wears jacket,
by Y/Project at
Matches Fashion

HAIR AND GROOMING

Sven Bayerbach at Carol
Hayes Management,
using Murdock
PHOTOGRAPHY
ASSISTANT Marysia
Swietlicka
FASHION ASSISTANTS
Josefina Martin
and Will Simons

66 MAY 2019

unprecedented and it’s not. There is such a
long history of feminist movements, a billion
things in the Middle East that continue to
be ignored by the arsehole men writing our
history books.
“It’s only made worse when the rest of the
world acts as if it didn’t exist,” he frowns.
During his stay in the UK, Hamed managed
to miss the controversy surrounding
Parkfield Primary School in Birmingham.
So, I fill him in: the school suspended their
“I need to live in a
place where I can
hold my boyfriend’s
hand if I want”
LGBTQ education programme after furious
protests and a petition signed by parents
of predominantly Muslim faith, incensed
that the lessons were “promoting” gay and
transgender lifestyles.
“What most of us know about Islam is
actually the version that is accepted by the
Islamic institution, which essentially means
it is accepted by straight man.
“There is a whole fucking history that
goes back as far as Islam itself, of reform
movements within the faith. So much has
happened that is never taught to us because
we receive this one version that is inherently
homophobic, bigoted and shitty.
“My friend had a religious wedding, a
Muslim wedding, a religious gay wedding.
There are schools of Islam that are OK with
this. I’m not of faith myself, [but] if there
is a god, who the fuck are you to tell me
that I need to behave in a certain way that
contradicts how that god made me?
“That’s rubbish. If that’s how you want to
live your life, then by all means,” he adds.
“But if that’s how you’re going to raise
your kids, then someone needs to call child
protection services.”
Reflecting on his own childhood, Hamed
says: “I grew up in a religious household and
for so long I hated myself for [being gay].
“If I had known that it was possible for
gay men to get married — not that I think
marriage is right — had I just heard that little
factoid when I was kid, that there was such a
thing as a Muslim gay wedding, it would have
saved me a great deal of suffering.”
Looking ahead, the former art student
bubbles with nerves and excitement as he
unveils his plans to move from Beirut to
New York. “I’m starting to get to a place in
my life where I’m stagnating. Beirut isn’t
an easy place to grow up. It’s very difficult
to hide and it’s only become worse with the
band’s success.
“I’m not a socially comfortable person,”
he confesses. “I need to live in a place where
I can hold my boyfriend’s hand in the street
if I want to.”
The search for a boyfriend has yet to
yield any results, mind. “I find it difficult
Hamed Sinno
to date. I just get ignored. More often than
not, people are looking for a particular
“type”, which I’m not.
“You’re either a white twink, soz,” he
winks, motioning to me (I’m actually an
ageing twink, thank you), “or a buff gym rat,
and if you’re neither of those, you tend to
get ignored.
“My job doesn’t help, neither does my
brain – a lot of the people I meet in Lebanon
are very intellectually unstimulating.”
Perhaps Cupid will strike in the form of
that unopened Tinder message, but alas
we’ll never know.
It’s time to wrap the interview but I’ve
got a final question — one he must be asked
a lot: do you ever get compared to Freddie
Mercury?
“All the time,” he chuckles. “I see the
comparison but I think it’s mostly that we’re
brown-looking, moustachioed and very gay.”
Like a lot of people, Hamed, who has an
interest in acting, believes the under-baked,
but Oscar-winning biopic Bohemian Rhapsody
missed an opportunity to do the Queen
legend justice. “What that man meant to a
lot of us is much bigger than anything that
movie had to show.
“I get why Rami Malek got the Oscar
because they’re about a very particular
school of acting — if you replicate something
believably enough, then bravo — but
[although] it was a good movie, it was just so
typical and sterilised.”
Well, if the Hollywood gods ever answer
our prayers for a re-do to tell the real story, we
know just the man for the job.
The Beirut School is out now
MAY 2019 67
 Histor
PAST
present
FUTURE

in the
making As plans for a queer-history museum in the UK
begin to take shape, Cliff Joannou looks at the
sort of items that could be housed there – and
reveals how you can help build the archive
68 MAY 2019

M
oving home after eight years
was never going to be easy.
Determined not to be left in
a last-minute panic – and
pressurised by Marie Kondo’s perfect
existence — I began clearing my life out.
I’d accumulated a lot of stuff in the time
I’d lived in the flat.
It turns out I have a sentimental
attachment to nonsense, neatly tidied away
into lots (and lots) of plastic boxes. A lot of
this nonsense went to Boutique, the THT
charity shop in Pimlico, for people to buy and
inadvertently perpetuate my fabulousness
while supporting a good cause. The rest
of it went in the trash. Sure, they were all
memories in one way or another, things I
accumulated in what I would like to think has
ALL IMAGES COURTESY OF THE BISHOPSGATE INSTITUTE
been a colourful existence, but I’m not sure
how much I needed a lava lamp (circa 2003) in
my intended minimal life of 2019.
At the back of the utility room next to the
washing machine were four large boxes of
CDs, otherwise known as the medium through
which young people once experienced music.
I don’t think I ever opened those boxes after
moving into that flat in 2010, so they needed
to go. I kept some of the more sentimental
ones. I had a Mariah collection stretching
back to Vision of Love. I also kept first singles
by Britney and Christina, and my early Janet
and Mary J Blige albums. Basically, the divas.
As I sifted through them, I came across
mix CDs from the many gay clubs where
I’d lost endless weekends. In the Nineties
and Noughties, clubs gave out a free mix CD
at Christmas or when they celebrated an
anniversary. They were from classic gay nights
such as Crash, DTPM, Fiction and Action. I
stacked them in a pile destined for the bin. I
couldn’t imagine anybody in a charity shop
would want them.
In another box were clubs flyers I’d saved,
and early issues of Attitude and other gay
magazines such as QX. They all went in the
stack to be thrown out. I was on a mission to
de-clutter and I didn’t need them, as much as I
cherished the memories.
But the trip down memory lane was
a welcome one. These weren’t just club
nights. Those parties were where I came out,
discovered the joy of my queerness, celebrated
my identity at a time when society frowned
upon it and the law said I was less than equal.
They were where I met the two loves of my
life and most of my best friends. And this
Past
present
future
experience wasn’t unique to me, it was one
that I know many gay men share.
They may have just been CDs, flyers and
magazines but it seemed tragic to just discard
them. Isn’t the club and bar scene as much
a valid part of our queer history as a David
Hockney painting, a Turing machine or Oscar
Wilde’s prison door? After all, when the LGBTQ
community has lived on the edge of society
for so many centuries, isn’t our history and
culture one that comes from the streets and
the fringes of society?
Without Frankie Knuckles at the Paradise
Garage there would be no house music.
Without Larry Levan at Studio 54, there would
be no disco, and no Grace Jones, Sylvester or
Donna Summer. Without the New York Ball
scene of the 1980s and 1990s, there would be
no RuPaul’s Drag Race. Certainly Madonna’s
Vogue video would have looked very different.
Surely the UK’s queer street culture deserved
the same level of respect?
How much of our queer history has been
lost because it hadn’t been documented? It’s
a sad fact that for many gay men, pre-1967
when homosexuality was illegal, the very idea
of preserving gay culture was tantamount to
an admission that you were a deviant. >
MAY 2019 69
 “It gives us the opportunity to
look back, to understand who we
are now so we can then also try
to imagine what the best of all
possible futures could be. It exists
in the sweet spot between heritage,
art and culture”
Physical examples of gay history before the
mid-20th century are few and far between.
What would we preserve? Copies of Physique
Pictorial and perhaps the glory holes found in
cottages around the country spring to mind.
But what about the personal diaries of
closeted every-day gay people living hidden
lives. Less tangible is Polari, the discrete
language that gay men used — often to
communicate about having sex. In the
years after the partial decriminalisation
of homosexuality, the language virtually
vanished, beyond occasional use by pub drag
queens. Today, we have a whole new “secret”
lingo used to facilitate sex on hook-up apps:
HH, BB, , , and, of course, the peach
and aubergine emojis.
The things we take for granted today are
part of our history tomorrow.
Who would have thought the often-political
street art of Keith Haring in the early Eighties
would be the subject of a major exhibition at
the Tate Liverpool in 2019?
Emma Meehan, the assistant director of
public affairs at LGBT Foundation, Manchester,
says: “LGBT history is often a struggle against
adversity and marginalisation. It is also the
history of a plethora of different thriving
subcultures that has produced some of
humanity’s greatest art, cinema and music.
“To see our progress and to know how
far we have come would empower the
community to celebrate its progress and be
mindful of what [it still has] to accomplish.”
The Bishopsgate Institute in London,
an independent charitable foundation
established in 1895, boasts one of the UK’s
biggest LGBTQ archives, which it has been
70 MAY 2019
building for the past
10 years. Among its
collections is the
Lesbian and Gay
Newsmedia Archive
(more than 300,000
press cuttings
relating to LGBTQ
history, culture and
politics). Then there’s th
UK Leather Archive (cove
the history of gay leather/rubber/
fetish sexuality in the UK) and the archives of
Stonewall, Switchboard, Outrage! and GMFA,
the gay men’s health charity.
In addition, there are donations from
individuals, and an extensive range of books,
pamphlets and photographs.
Stef Dickers, the special collections and
archives manager at Bishopsgate, struggles to
pick his favourites from the vast collection.
“There are almost too many to mention and
my favourite item or collection changes from
hour to hour.
“At present, I am overawed by the recently
donated photographic archive of Bob
Workman, containing thousands of images
and negatives. He was the photographer for
Gay News from the mid-1970s onwards and
his archive is such an incredible record of
queer life in the UK, from campaign meetings
and Pride marches, to photos from nightclubs
and social events, and out-and-proud
celebrities of the time.”
Stef also mentions a t-shirt from the
Gay Vegetarian Group from the 1970s and
material and papers that have just been
accepted from transgender activist Alice
rnell, who was appointed OBE
the 2011 New Year’s Honours
List, as other favourites. “We’ve
also recently been [given] a set of
diaries documenting a gay male
couple’s life together from 1946
to 1971 which are truly beautiful
how wonderfully day-to-day
y are,” Stef adds.
e Proud Trust in Manchester
s own archive. Strategic director
Amelia Lee suggests the LGBTQ badge
collection of teacher and activist Paul Patrick,
who died in 2008, as a highlight because
it showcases the humour, creativity and
resilience of the community.
Beyond physical items, our history also
exists in the lived experiences of LGBTQ people.
“Around four years ago we worked with the
oral historian Dr Niamh Moore who trained
young people how to gather oral histories,”
Amelia says. “Young people then interviewed
many of the great and the good from LGBTQ
rights and campaigning and we wrote a
book combining these stories — Prejudice
and Pride — as well as producing short films
on YouTube which are on our channel. The
playlist is called This is How We Got Here.”
Joseph Galliano is the co-founder and
chief executive of Queer Britain, which
aims to open the UK’s first dedicated LGBTQ
museum. The building is years away from
becoming a reality, but its archive is already
being generated.
As with the Proud Trust, Queer Britain
recognises the value in creating a first-person
experience of LGBTQ lives, and launches the
digital platform Virtually Queer in May.

“Oral history is so important because
much of our history exists in the telling,”
explains Joseph.
My story about keeping those CDs
resonates with him as he recalls his first
encounter with queer history.
“Just at a point when I was really anxious
and worried because I wasn’t like other boys
— I was 14 — one of the things that changed
my life was an old book I found in a jumble
sale. How very 1980s!
“I liked the look of it. It turned out it was
a 1909 copy of Oscar Wilde’s De Profundis. It
didn’t take me long to figure out what it was
all about. At the front someone had written: ‘I
stop and I will mock the scoffers of my state,
and I will conquer’. Presumably, this person
had to live with his sexuality hidden but
had written that to gee himself up. He had
underlined ‘and I will conquer’. I took that
to mean he would remain defiantly himself
despite the hardship he was facing. It made
me feel less lonely and
more rooted in the past.
“It was like a bolt of
lightning: I wasn’t alone,
there was a defiance and
wilfulness in that message
that made me stronger.”
Around the same time,
Joseph’s brother lent him
a tape cassette of the Tom
Robinson Band. He was
listening while on a paper
round when the track Glad
to be Gay came on.
“I stood with my heart in POETIC :
A touching note was
my throat for the whole song, found in a copy of Oscar
Wilde’s De Profundis
frozen. It was the first time I heard a message
saying not only were there other people like
me, but also that it was OK to be angry about
the way gay people have been treated.”
In 2018, we marked the 50th anniversary
of the partial decriminalisation of homo-
sexuality in England and Wales, this year we
celebrate 50 years since the Stonewall riots,
but Joseph says: “The idea of a museum is
that it stops it being about an anniversary,
stops being just about men, and becomes
a platform that everyone can build their
stories into it all the time — to create a much
richer tapestry than looking at that one thin
trope around victim-hood.”
On the surface, museums are windows into
the past, but they also allow us to envisage
what we want to grow towards. “It gives us the
opportunity to look back, to understand who
we are now so we can try to imagine what
the best of all possible futures could be. It
exists in the sweet spot between
heritage, art and culture.”
As the world seems to
stumble from one political
Past
present
future
crisis to the next, with former champions of
LGBTQ rights such as the USA shifting away
from supporting our community, and who
knows what’s in store for the UK post-Brexit,
there has never been a greater need for us
to value our queer history. “You look at how
turbulent the landscape is at the moment, I
want to be a part of trying to secure our place
in a visible setting within society,” Joseph says.
The Proud Trust’s Amelia Lee concurs.
“I recommend that everyone reads the
Gay Liberation Front manifesto. You can
find it free online. It’s relevant and non-
heteronormative and is more political than
many of the mainstream LGBTQ voices
nowadays. Let’s move with the times, but
never assimilate just for acceptance.”
The Bishopsgate Institute’s Stef says the
best way LGBTQ people can assert their
place in history is by documenting our lives.
Perhaps this happens in some way digitally
on social media, although the ephemeral
nature of digital giants makes them far from
ideal gatekeepers of our existence. (Myspace
anybody?) Better still, consider donating your
own history to the Queer Britain museum,
LGBT Foundation or Bishopsgate Institute.
“It is so important that we attempt to
document all of our experiences,” says Stef . “I
would encourage everyone to put themselves
in an archive, whether it’s with a club flyer,
letters, diaries or photos. We’d always be
delighted to put you in a box at Bishopsgate —
in a non-creepy way!”
queerbritain.org.uk
lgbt.foundation
bishopsgate.org.uk
MAY 2019 71
 THE CHANGING PAST
present
FUTURE

OF THE GUARD
Attitude celebrates its 25th birthday by
showcasing boundary-pushing, trail-blazing
talents who are paving the way
for the next 25 years
Words Cliff Joannou, Tim Heap & Thomas Stichbury

FIORIOUS
Writer and vocalist

Where did the idea for the track I’m Not Defeated come from?
I was at a really low point, I was dealing with the aftermath of a
painful break up and feeling heartbroken about crimes against LGBTQ
people around the world. I was trying to summon my own inner
strength and create something to make me feel empowered.
The music video includes clips of LGBTQ trailblazers — who do you
feel a particular connection to or admiration for?
I feel connected to so many. In particular, the words of Audre Lorde,
James Baldwin and Federico Garcia Lorca, symbols of activism such
as Marsha P Johnson, Silvia Rivera, Harvey Milk and Bayard Rustin,
and artists including Sylvester, Frankie Knuckles and Keith Haring.
As a queer person, do you feel your work is inherently political?
Sure, but even the most commercial pop is grounded in some ideology
and value system. Pronouns are political. Omission is political.
Ambivalence is political. Sexuality is something that many countries
still legislate [against] so it’s inherently political. It’s important for me
to reimagine the boundaries of what it means to be a queer pop artist.
What do you try to challenge about queer culture through your work?
Pop divas will always have their place in our community. They’ve
spoken up for us, and generations have lived vicariously through
them. But this all-consuming obsession feels a bit outdated — it’s time

72
 Past
present
future

ROBERT WHITE
Comedian

I started working in comedy because I wanted a place I fitted in,

although I never knew that I would become an example to others on
similar journeys. This is humbling and ridiculous because my mother
jokingly asks me to sign her boobs when I see her now. My voice is
for anyone for whom fitting in may be a struggle because of autism
or other invisible disabilities, or any other reason. Seeing rainbow-
dressed, wheelchair-users at my shows, and to know they feel this is a
place where comedy is including — not attacking — them is amazing. I
hope for a world where things seen as unusual today are normal. A few
hundred years ago a left-handed person would be executed as a witch.
Now, left-handers are “normal” and witches have so much opportunity,
from political office to writing for tabloid newspapers.

Robert is touring the UK until the end of April. @robertwhitejoke

for us to step up and support a broader spectrum of queer artists.

We’ve started to see that happen with the likes of Christine & The
Queens, Kelela, Anohni, Arca, Sophie, Troye Sivan and Frank Ocean.
Do you think clubbing and house music go hand in hand with
politics and social progress?
Clubs have always been a sanctuary for many in the queer
community. It’s a beautiful thing when we can find a space to
explore identity without fear or shame.
What are your hopes and dreams for the next 25 years, and what
CRYSTAL RASMUSSEN
Drag queen and writer
legacy do you hope to have created by then?
I want LGBTQ folks and all people to feel safe living their truth I believe in nourishing queer people. I want to feel the
on a daily basis around the world. Making sure no one gets power of representation — to show that it’s wonderful to
left behind, that we all move forward together. Growing into be a fat, non-binary, sexual drag queen. I spent so many
fearlessness is a life-long process but I’m just trying to capture years afraid of these things. I want my book, Diary of a
moments of it in my work. I can only hope that something I Drag Queen, to be a space for people like us to be seen,
create can be inspiring and relevant to the next generations. heard and feel embraced. Over the next 25 years, I want
The I’m Not Defeated video is a reminder to me that while we’ve more than just headlines and bad movies. I want our
come [a long way], there is an important legacy that must be community to feel cherished, valued and celebrated.
honoured and continuously pushed forward. I’m also hoping for stunning royalty cheques!

I’m Not Defeated is available to stream now. @fiorious Diary of a Drag Queen is out now. @tomglitter >

MAY 2019 73
 JORDAN WALLER
Actor and writer

I am a gay sperm-donor baby

from lesbian parents.
So I am pure-blooded
wizarding gay. My one-
man show, The D Word,
is about losing one
of my mothers and
struggling to find
my sexual identity
as a man. I hope it
can pave the way for
more stories about

WILLY HUDSON
Writer and performer
queer families. I’ve
written a film called
Off the Rails about
three middle-aged
I love making people laugh. If we can all laugh about how mad the women who recreate a
world is, we feel connected and everything looks [better]. When trip from their youth. If
people leave my show, Bottom, I want them to feel less alone — I’d had a more conventional
that all labels and stereotypes that govern queer culture don’t upbringing, then, as a 26-year-old
matter. It’s more important to be vulnerable and emotionally man, I wouldn’t be able to write about
intimate in relationships. A lot of queer theatre and performance reinvigorating life as a peri-menopausal woman.
focuses on gay struggle and trauma, and while that is part of our We’ve had to fight so hard just to be valued equally,
history, we also deserve fun, upbeat stories. that perhaps we’ve lost sight of the fact that we might
be worth more.
The Bottom UK tour ends at Porter’s, Cardiff, on 30 March.
willyhudson.com @willyhudson007 Off the Rails is out later this year. @Jordan__Waller

THE COCOA BUTTER CLUB

Cabaret celebrating performers of colour Cassie Leon, producer;
Sadie Sinner, founder; Cynthia Franklin, marketing and audience
development

How and why did The Cocoa Butter Club come to be?
Sadie: It began as a response to the lack of spaces, venues and parties
that Queer Transgender and Intersex People of Colour (QTIPOC)
experience within the arts.
Cassie: It is a space in which QTIPOC people can showcase work that is
significant to their cultural heritage.
How do you want people to feel when they attend a show?
Ca: Empowered, moved, represented and challenged. Of course, we also
want to capture that joyful cabaret spirit, where people can be as loud
as they please in support and admiration of the acts.
Who are you providing a voice for within the queer community ?
Cynthia: Performers who are under-represented and under-booked.
People and audiences who are marginalised. People of colour who don’t
see themselves on stage, in film or television.
What are your hopes, dreams and ambitions for the next 25 years?
Ca: In the next 25 years, we will have two or three full productions
touring the world at the same time. We will have cabaret collectives all
over Europe and beyond, and probably own a venue or two.
In 2044, what do you want your legacy to be?
S: We hope that The Cocoa Butter Club will be integrated into the
mainstream without losing its magic. We will have established a
queer space for arts and culture, and created a platform for the
next generation.

thecocoabutterclub.com @thecocoabutterclub

TETE BANG
Female drag queen
When did you discover the world of drag and when was TeTe born?
I was fortunate to be brought up around strong women who taught
me to be bold and express how I feel. My mum was a stripper for
many years and I was always around showgirls. This gave me an
insight into transforming myself with costume. TeTe started to spread
her wings during the last years of the Black Cap in London.
So who is TeTe?
She’s the queer pop princess you never asked for. I represent people
who don’t fit into the boxes mainstream “gay” scene tries to put us in.
Past
present
future
What obstacles have you faced, especially from those who may not
have encountered female drag performers.
When I started properly exploring drag, RuPaul’s Drag Race wasn’t
as big as it is now. No one mentioned that “women can’t do drag.” I
never thought of my gender as an obstacle. But now the negative
comments I receive online are mainly from Drag Race fans saying
that my existence and drag is invalid, based solely on my assigned
gender. The fact I get booked is proof that anyone can do drag.
Who are you providing a voice for within the queer community?
When I first came out, as a teenager, I felt a huge pressure to
present more masculine as a way to prove my “gayness.” This
pressure came from within the queer community. There were no
lesbian role models I could relate to. The people I had the most
common interests with were gay men. So, I didn’t fit into the
box of what a lesbian was supposed to be, but I wasn’t the right
gender to be in the club. I felt lost for a long time. I finally felt
comfortable with myself when I was given a home in the London
queer community. I decided to become my own role model and give
a voice to those people who are floating around the in-between.
What are your hopes, dreams and ambitions for the next 25 years?
I want to create more inclusive spaces for people to explore and be
their true selves. I have also been fortunate enough to take part in
an incredible upcoming TV show for Channel 4 where I travel around
the UK bringing drag to the public. One of my biggest dreams is to
write a coming-of-age comedy that explores queer adolescence.
I hope that my work, and my stories and
experiences help others like me who at some point
didn’t feel as if they had a place in this world.
tetebang.co.uk @tete_bang
LEO KALYAN
Singer-songwriter
A lot of people see queerness and South Asian culture as mutually
exclusive but by living my authentic, queer, South Asian life — and
making music that brings together both identities — I’m challenging
this outdated narrative. Our experiences aren’t all the same but
we all know what it feels like to be on the outside of the outside.
Something that I’ve only recently started embracing
is femininity — or the ability to be proud of my
gayness in all its forms. In the next 25
years, I want to see South Asian artists
— queer, trans, Muslim, Sikh, Hindu —
working together to take our rich,
artistic heritage to the global
stage. People underestimate how
challenging it can be to embrace
your culture and your queerness
but now that I’ve done it, I want
to inspire others to do the same.
I hope my legacy will open
doors for other South Asians,
especially queer South Asians, to
gain a foothold in Western music.
Leo’s single, trevi fountain, is available
to stream now. @leokalyan >
MAY 2019 75
 LELAND
Singer/songwriter
At 16, I was sitting inches from the
television watching Undressed, which
offered me my first taste of a gay
storyline. My hand was resting on the
channel button because I’d lost the
remote and was terrified my parents
would walk in. Even though it didn’t feel
like it at the time, that was my safe space.
I now contribute to the creation of safe
spaces for others, opening for Troye
Sivan’s Bloom tour or writing songs for
Drag Race. I hope whatever I do career-
wise creates moments where whoever
is listening feels safe. We can’t list every
letter of the LGBTQ community if we don’t
embrace each one equally.
@LelandOfficial
ELIJAH W HARRIS
Actor
It has been a struggle to be taken
seriously as a trans actor. The
industry still casts cis people as
trans characters, and a lot of the
writing centres around a standardised
transition. There need to be more
trans masc voices in the mainstream.
Earlier this month, I appeared in
And the Rest of Me Floats, a show
written by me and the rest of the
cast about our experience of gender
identity. It is honest, intersectional,
anarchic and most of all a celebration.
We performed for schools and had
teenagers crying, telling us their
coming out stories. I’m not sure I can
think as far ahead as 2044 but I simply
hope to have positively affected
someone’s life by being visible and
open. I grew up needing just one
person to be open about their identity
and for it not to end in trauma.
Elijah will be appearing in the UK
tour of Rotterdam at from 4 April.
rotterdamtheplay.com @eliwharriz
76 MAY 2019
TRAVIS ALABANZA
Performer
When I’m talking, I can only
represent me. I never see
it as providing a voice for
someone else. Of course, I
hope others can see a gender
non-conforming, trans, black
person take up space in the
art world, and think maybe
they can, too. My work is about
complicating ideas about gender
and ourselves, removing this
idea that “trans” and “cis” are
simple and neat categories, but,
in fact, hold varying experiences.
My work has always been about
asking for more. Realising we
are more messy and complex
than the current Western
understandings of our gender,
and that we deserve safety,
love and protection no matter
how we express it. Twenty-five
years from now, I hope that
season 145.4 of Drag Race finally
lets all kinda drag on, Shon
Faye is revealed as our next
Supreme and that Black Pride
is a weekend festival. But in
seriousness, I think it’s difficult
to dream so far ahead. I just
hope that the world becomes
safer, and easier for people to
live and thrive, not
just survive.
travisalabanza.co.uk
 Past
present
future

TOBY MARLOW
Musical theatre playwright and composer

We live in a world where queer narratives are often told

by non-queer voices. In SIX, Lucy Moss and I tried to give
voice to female historical figures whose lives were told from
the perspective of men, and in Hot Gay Time Machine, Zak
Ghazi-Torbati, Lucy and I explore queer experiences in a
way that challenges stereotypes. In a new project, I look at
how friendships between queer people and their allies are
represented. It’s often females and their gay best friend, or
gay men with their gal pal. In the next 25 years, I hope popular
culture produces increasingly diverse representations — the
wider the range of queer identities represented, the more
queer people can go to the theatre and feel included.

@thetobymarlow RYAN LANJI

Cultural producer

What started as a one-off night to experience

Bollywood in a queer space, quickly evolved into
throwing parties in Soho House, Ministry of Sound
and Tate Modern, where the room is full of caramel-
coloured tones of skin and culture. I didn’t realise
Hungama — a showcase of Bollywood music, fashion,
art and culture — would grow as fast as it has. I didn’t
want to start just another queer club night, I wanted
it to empower people to start that change we dream
about (or complain about not having) on the dancefloor.
In the next 25, years I want to see queer South Asians
who had the courage to be their authentic selves
remember how liberating that is and not stop achieving
until all glass ceilings have been smashed.

@mslanji @hungama_ldn

JAY JAY REVLON

Club host, DJ and voguer

I stumbled upon voguing when I was 14, watching videos of this

woman — I thought it was Naomi Campbell — doing her thing.
Her performance just got me and I thought: “This is calling me.”
I started picking up some of the moves. I remember calling in
sick at work to go to my first ball and I’ve never looked back.
Ballrooms provide a safe space where anything goes in terms of
gender, sexuality and dysphoria. It celebrates all of that.
Ballroom is important because it is all about family.
It allows us to stick together. We recently
did something with Olly Alexander at the
O2 arena, and Sam Smith, Dua Lipa and
Rag’n’Bone Man at the Brit Awards. We
need to perform in these commercial
spaces but keep it authentic. One day,
I’d like to own a club. Maybe I could
afford a rooftop apartment and
have the balls there…

Jay Jay will be appearing in Breakin’

Convention: WorkX at Sadler’s Wells
Theatre, London, on 3 May

MAY 2019 77
YAY!
2020
TOM DALEY
WINS
GOLD AT
THE TOKYO
OLYMPICS
Pictures of him
celebrating with husband
Dustin and their
two-year-old son Robbie
are broadcast to millions
across the globe. 10s
across the board!

2020
DONALD TRUMP
IMPEACHED
The Republicans are voted out
of office in the US election
and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
marks becoming the first female
President of the United States
by overturning Trump’s
transgender military ban
2021
DONALD TRUMP IMPEACHED
Celebrations over the Cheeto-in-Chief’s political
demise are overshadowed as gay conversion
therapy-supporting Mike Pence is sworn in as
the 46th President of the United States

2020
TRUMP WINS —
AGAIN
The campaign to elect a new
leader for the Democrats gets
messy, and rivalries expose a
2021
ANNEGRET KRAMP-
fractured party desperate for
KARRENBAUER SUCCEEDS
NAY!

power. America shifts further

ANGELA MERKEL AS
to the right as Trump wins
GERMAN CHANCELLOR
a second term
The leader of the Christian Democratic Union
vows to fight the corner of “traditional”
families — and right-wing sentiment
continues to filter across Europe

78 MAY 2019
 Past
present
future

PAST
present
2021 FUTURE

AN ALL-
QUEER LADY
MARMALADE
TOPS THE CHART Words Attitude psychic Will Stroude
After months of
infighting over who will
get Christina’s vocal run,
Sam Smith, Troye Sivan,
Olly Alexander and MNEK
record a 20th anniversary
version of Lady
Marmalade. It spends 11
weeks at Number One

2026
A HOLLYWOOD
LEADING MAN
COMES OUT
And he is still offered
straight roles in blockbuster
movies. The following year,
he wins the best actor
gong at the 98th Academy
As Attitude celebrates its 25th Awards, and uses his victory
birthday, we stare into our speech to encourage other
queer actors to come out
crystal balls to explore two very of the closet
different time lines, and predict
what the next 25 years could bring

2022
THE US SUPREME COURT
OVERTURNS THE 2015
MARRIAGE-EQUALITY RULING
Weeks after President Pence appoints yet another
ultra-conservative judge to the bench, the court
overturns Obergefell v Hodges, rolling back same-
sex marriage in 13 states and sparking nationwide
protests. Pence then sets his sights on reversing
the abortion-legalising Wade vs Roe case

MAY 2019 79
 2030
A FUTURE BRITISH MONARCH
COMES OUT
2029 Twenty-time Grammy-winner Sa
rare break from his Vegas resi
kes a

THE GAY GAMES at the first royal gay wedding

2029 ARE HELD for the monarchy hit their hi
IN NAIROBI, late Elizabeth II. The rema
KENYA states decriminalise hom
Now an African their anti-gay laws a
leader in equality embarks on
after decriminalising
homosexuality a
decade earlier

2028
THE BEAUTIFUL GAME GOES GAY
History is made as not one but two Premier league footballers
come out — as a couple! Teammates and fans don rainbow
laces for their next matches as tabloid interest quickly sees
them become two of the sport’s highest-paid stars

2025
THE UK CLOSES RANKS
2024 A struggling post-Brexit Britain, now
ruled by Boris Johnson’s SeEU Later
VLADIMIR PUTIN WINS party, turns away the growing influx
A FIFTH PRESIDENTIAL of Russian LGBTQ refugees, advising
TERM, NOW FOR 20 them to “look less gay”
YEARS
To shore up support and quell
opposition to his authoritarian
rule, he introduces the Protection
of Public Morality Act, making
homosexuality punishable
by up to five years in prison. A
Chechnya-style crackdown on
known LGBTQ activists ensues,
which is weakly denounced
by the West

80 MAY 2019
 Past
present
future

2031
VIRTUAL INSANITY
The new gay hook-up app Pornstr
sweeps the nation, enabling users
to have a safe virtual-reality liaison
with anyone in the world from the
comfort of their own bedroom
more valued members of society for contributing
2033
CLIMATE-CHANGE CRISIS
As the world adjusts to the blistering heat,
Jersey replaces Sitges as Europe’s leading gay
party destination. LGBTQ people become even
less to crippling global over-population

2032
GENERATION
BE YO’SELF
As understanding of sexual
fluidity grows and surveys show
more than a quarter of 16 to 24
year olds no longer identify as
completely heterosexual, terms
such as “gay” and “straight”
begin to drop out of fashion

2026
A HOLLYWOOD
LEADING MAN
COMES OUT
His next — and final — role
is in Bring It On 7 2034
REAP WHAT YOU SOW
Fifteen years after LGBTQ-inclusive sex and
relationships education was finally added to the
curriculum, STI transmission rates have fallen
to their lowest levels since record began

2027
NO FEMMES
ALLOWED
Leading figures
from the
“masc4masc”
community set up 2028
a formal union NHS FUNDING CRISIS LEADS
and declare TO MASSIVE CUTBACKS
themselves As more departments are privatised, sexual health,
a breakaway mental health and gender services are the first
sexuality that’s to go, affecting all members of the newly split
“not like other community. Trans people and those on PrEP
gays” are told the taxpayer will no longer fund their
“lifestyle choices.” STI and HIV infection
rates begin to sky-rocket as LGBTQ people
are pushed back to the margins

MAY 2019 81
 2035
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER THE
EXISTENCE OF A “GAY” GENE
Anyone who has ever described being gay as
a choice or nurture over nature is forced to
read a public apology from a specially erected
rainbow podium in Trafalgar Square

2040
LONDON’S LAST GAY
BAR CLOSES
Levels of acceptance are such that LGBTQ people
no longer see the need for designated spaces

2037
PUTTING THE “HOMO”
IN HOMO SAPIENS
Almost 20 years after LGBTQ education
was added to the curriculum, the word
“gay” has fallen out of fashion as polls
indicate 80 per cent of young people
don’t identify as 100 per cent straight
2042
THE 70TH ANNUAL LONDON
PRIDE TAKES PLACE
Now a week-long music glamping festival on
Hampstead Heath attended by two million people,
tickets must be bought two years in advance and
costing 2,000 Brit-coins. You can splash more
on VIP packages to enter the walled-off Old
Compton Street — preserved as a memorial to
a time when LGBTQ people were ghettoised

2044
CHER FINALLY
RETIRES… OR
DOES SHE?
Just two years shy of her 100th
birthday, the pop diva — now part
cyborg — announces a 400-stop
global tour, The Very Final Farewell
and Goodbye Show: This
Really Is It, Bitches

82 MAY 2019
 Past
present
future

2030
A FUTURE BRITISH
MONARCH COMES OUT
Questions over an heir plunge the
monarchy into crisis as tabloids, including
the Daily Heil, declare that same-sex
families are not “real families” and that
having a “queen” on the thrown 2033
is bad for tourism. Under pressure, CLIMATE-CHANGE CRISIS
the monarch abdicates After London’s flood defences fail in The Great Wash,
Birmingham is named the UK’s new capital. Martial law
is imposed and an immigration shut-down introduced
as rising sea levels decimate the developing world,
2031 sparking a refugee crisis. Hate crimes soar as living
standards plummet across the UK
VIRTUAL INSANITY
The new gay hook-up app Pornstr
sweeps the nation, enabling users to
have a safe virtual-reality liaison with
anyone in the world from the comfort
of their own bedroom (which is just as
well, because cases of a new antibiotic-
resistant super-gonorrhoea
are at an all-time high)

2035
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER THE
EXISTENCE OF A “GAY” GENE
Homophobes in lab coats begin researching whether
it’s possible to alter it during gestation as LGBTQ
people take to the streets to fight for their very
existence. Straight friends and family previously
considered allies say they don’t mind you being gay but
don’t understand why “if you could choose to have a
straight child, you wouldn’t.” A year later, the Sexual
Determination Bill passes through Parliament,
giving parents the right to choose the
sexuality of their unborn child

2040
LONDON’S LAST GAY
BAR CLOSES
As a walled-off UK struggles against tropical
storms and blizzards, a new far-right emergency
government cracks down, forcing
LGBTQ venues back underground
2044
THE 72ND ANNUAL LONDON
PRIDE TAKES PLACE
A small group of underground activists
known as the Queer Liberation Front
flout new laws banning large-scale public
gatherings and brave the water cannons

MAY 2019 83

Pedro Pina
Vice president of global client & agency solutions at Google
edro Pina is a business jet-
P
setter who, after managing
the marketing departments
for some of the world’s biggest
brands, is now working to help businesses sell
themselves through Google’s digital empire.
What do you do for Google?
My primary role is to lead their relationship
with some of our largest global advertisers
— household names such as Unilever and
L’Oréal — ensuring they have what they need
to use our platforms to generate revenue and
run successful businesses. In addition, I lead
“The Zoo”, an award-winning team of creative
technologists, strategists and producers who
help our biggest European clients make the
most of our products and platforms for their
own brand-building efforts. Importantly, I am
also the executive sponsor of all our diversity
and inclusion efforts across Europe, the
Middle East and Africa and I’m the executive
sponsor of our EMEA LGBTQ chapter for more
than 800 Googlers, or, as we call them, Gayglers.
What attracted you to the role?
Google’s business structure leans a lot on
its operations at the country level, so the
set up is not designed to engage with large
global corporations with regional and global
teams who are connected across the globe.
However, that was precisely the kind of work
I was doing on the creative agency side in
London: managing large advertisers such as
Coca-Cola or Mastercard. I thought I could
lend that skill to this digital giant which of
course represented a massive and exciting
opportunity in the marketing space, as
consumers were becoming more and more
digital, and brands were trying to figure
out how to make that big digital transition
and remain relevant. What makes working
at Google really special is the opportunity
we have to ineract with some of the most
talented people in the world, cracking some of
the most relevant topics that have an impact
on people’s lives, while being empowered to
make a change and drive transformation.
What is the biggest challenge of working with
massive household-name brands?
Everything related to digital is speed. Some-
84 MAY 2019
BUSINESS PROFILE
Words Markus Bidaux
times massive brands carry organisational
structures that can feel heavy, complex and
multi-layered. Decision-making processes
are slow and at times excessively syndicated,
which slows down the necessary output
that their consumers demand. One other
challenge is what I like to call the “Dr Jekyll/
Mr Hyde syndrome” which is when executives
don’t realise that their personal consumption
behaviour (highly digital) is not reflected in
their investment decisions at work and for
their brands. At home they are in 2019 but at
work they decide investments as if they were
in 2012. It’s quite astonishing.
What is the best part of your job?
The people I meet and work with.
And the worst part?
The intensity of my travel schedule. I am on
a plane every week — across up to eight time
zones most of the time.
“Stay grounded — egos
can destroy careers.
Don’t let success
go to your head”
What is the greatest lesson you have taken
from previous roles?
Success is elusive: don’t let it get to your head.
Egos can destroy careers. Stay grounded and
trust your hard work.
What do you feel has been your greatest
workplace achievement?
To be able to shape Google’s diversity and
inclusion policy and programme across a
vast region while managing a growing and
complex business with a large and very
diverse team spread around the globe.
How can young brands make themselves
heard in the crowded digital space?
This question should be asked of old brands,
not the young ones. The new ones are digital
and mobile savvy, and understand intuitively
what increasingly demanding, impatient
and curious consumers want, what they are
looking for and how to speak to them. The
reality is that the fundamental marketing
tenets have not changed: winning brands are
the ones who pick up trends earlier, innovate
faster, speak insightfully to their consumers
and deliver a message that resonates both
with hearts and minds. If you want to know
what brilliant marketing looks like, start with
those young brands.
How should businesses look to future-proof
themselves as technology evolves so rapidly?
There’s no easy answer to that. The solution
is not so much in what they need to do
as much as it’s about how they actually
do it. Businesses that are thriving today
have a culture of collaboration and fast
decision-making processes. They pilot and
test everything all the time, and they’re
unafraid of failure (digital allows you to
fail quickly and cheaply), and best of all,
they are open to change. Importantly, they
start with the user.
How should young people beginning their
careers prepare for the workplace of the
future?
The world has never evolved so fast: speed is
the killer app. Being flexible, experimenting
a lot and being on the look out for your
passion is the key to being future-proof.
Loving what you do will get you ready for
anything because the effort to stay current
will feel effortless.
Has being gay ever affected you at work?
Being gay has made me a better person. I
listen more to others because I know what
it means to be invisible or feeling you don’t
have a voice. I don’t take blessings for granted
because I know that the good stuff can be
taken away by those who don’t accept me. I
am more curious, more tolerant and freer
to make life choices because I don’t have to
conform to traditional expectations from
others. It’s not that heterosexuality is normal
— it’s just more common.
Tell us about the gayglers.
Gayglers are an important employee resource
group at Google. In Europe alone we have
more than 800 Googlers who identify
as LGBTQ, working across more than 19
offices. We want to ensure that Google is
a workplace where every employee feels
welcomed, respected, supported and valued
while creating the conditions for everyone
 BUSINESS

CV
1991-1996
Brand manager for Procter & Gamble’s
health and beauty care sector

to thrive. We support events such as Pride
marches across Europe where more than
3,000 Googlers and friends participate,
and National Coming Out Day where allies
support Googlers who decide to be their full
and best selves at work.
What is the importance of having a diverse
workforce?
Our chief executive, Sundar Pichai, said it
best: we want to be the reflection of the users
we serve. We do know that whether you’re
building a company or leading a country,
a diverse mix of voices, backgrounds and
experiences leads to better discussions, better
decisions and better outcomes for everyone.
And Google is a company that builds for
everyone.
What are the biggest workplace challenges
you see yourself facing in the coming years?
I’d highlight three challenges: the pressure to
close the gap of representation will increase
significantly, new areas for inclusivity will
probably rise and put extra pressure (beyond
gender, ethnicity or race) on employers, and
handling with elegance and empathy the
resistance of those with privilege, who feel
that there’s too much effort being put into
something which is not actually broken.
@pedropina
1996-2000
Marketing manager for Yum! representing
Pizza Hut and KFC for the Brazil market,
before being promoted to marketing
director for Pizza Hut in Latin America
2000-2005
Managing director and chief executive of
Portuguese internet provider Clix
2005-2013
EVP and global brands director at
McCann Worldgroup
2013-present
Vice president of Google’s global client and
agency solutions team

MAY 2019 85
Travel predictions
p90

THE WORLD IN FOCUS

89 Just The Ticket 90 Travel predictions 98 Three Of The Best 100 Hot Hotel

MAY 2019 87
 v

WATCH THIS SPACE

Between 2001 and 2009, seven extremely
wealthy “tourists” visited the International
Space Station (ISS) but in the past decade
only professional astronauts have gone
into space. That looks set to change this
year with Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic,
Jeff Bezos's Blue Origin, and Elon Musk's
SpaceX all making cosmic waves. This trio
of billionaires are battling each other to
commercialise space travel.
Last December, Virgin Galactic
conducted its first trip to low-Earth orbit
— technically not space. This year the
company will conduct more test flights and
possibly take its first passenger — Branson
himself — which will effectively make him
the first space knight.
More than 700 people have already
bought tickets for one of Virgin Galactic’s,
so-far unscheduled space hops.
Blue Origin's 60ft-tall New Shepard
reusable rocket, which looks a bit phallic,
has a pod for six passengers above the
cylinder-encased rocket. After take-off, the
pod separates from the rocket propelling it
into low-Earth orbit. In the pod, passengers
will have room to do somersaults in zero
gravity if they can pull themselves away
from the largest windows in space offering
the best views of the planet.
The decent back home will be a gentle
parachute landing aided by booster jets. It’s
predicted that the first manned flights will
begin later this year.
SpaceX has so far focused on commercial
government contracts with more than
100 missions. As recently as 3 March, the
company made headlines when it docked its
unmanned Dragon capsule with the ISS.
Tourists will have to wait a bit longer
for SpaceX's civilian trips, but plans were
announced last year to send a Japanese
billionaire and a group of artists beyond low-
Earth orbit in the BFR (Big Falcon Rocket, aka
Big F***ing Rocket), to circle the moon.
With ticket prices thought to be about
£155,000, it may be a while before we mere
mortals can blast off but we are willing to
watch and wait. Meanwhile, we’ll start saving
to put a few people on one-way flights!
virgingalactic.com
spacex.com
blueorigin.com

Just the
TICKET Words Markus Bidaux

REACH FOR THE MOON

More than 500,000 people are expected to head to Chile to watch the total solar
eclipse on 2 July. Savvy travellers can book with Wendy Wu Tours, who have chartered
a private aircraft to take guests on a one-hour flight from Santiago to the coastal
town of La Serena, a trip that takes six hours by road. Once there, guests will be taken
to the perfect viewing point in the commune of La Higuera.
Astronomy journalist and astrophysicist Dr Stuart Clark will be on hand to provide
an insight as the moon moves between the sun and the Earth, obscuring the former.
There are 7, 12 and 16-day tours available with prices from £3,790pp including flights
from the UK, accommodation, most meals and a chance to visit other top sights.

wendywutours.co.uk

more Boston now choose from three daily fabulous flights

more often available from London Heathrow and Edinburgh

MAY 2019 89
 Time travel FOUR WELL-TRAVELLED
EXPERTS REVEAL THEIR
HOPES AND DREAMS
FOR THE FUTURE

T
ravelling to the stars will still be pie
in the sky (well, more appropriately
space), and give up on any thoughts
of Star Trek-style transporters to get
you from one place to another in
the blink of an eye. But over the past quarter of
a century the travel industry has come on leaps
and bounds, and the next 25 years looks set to
propel us forwards at a healthy pace, with major
changes to the way we explore the planet (and
beyond it) certain to materialise.
Hopefully, that will include the world being a
more open and friendly place for LGBTQ travellers.
In the UK, we sometimes look down our noses
at other nations’ LGBTQ rights and are quick to
dismiss them as potential tourist destinations as
a result — even if British colonisation is the root
cause of much of the world’s homophobia.
And, remember, when Attitude launched 25
years ago, openly gay people couldn’t serve in
the UK’s military, adopt children, legally change
gender or marry each other.
So maybe we’re not really that far ahead of
many of the countries we tend to avoid when
making travel plans. Here, four travel experts
predict how we’ll be holidaying 25 years from now
— from having personal drones to capture every
experience to taking a short trip into orbit.

Aviation
There hasn’t been a radical
development in commercial
aviation for some time. However,
the airline industry is following car
manufacturers into the electric arena,
although at a much slower pace.
UK airports hope to see electric
or hybrid planes taking off by 2030
but to begin with these are likely to
be much smaller aircraft than we’re
currently used to, and will be designed
for shorter journeys. Today, short-
haul flights contribute 40 per cent of
total aviation emissions, and these
quieter, lower-emission jets will be
welcomed by both environmentalists
and the public, especially if they come
with the predicted lower fares.
Siemens, Rolls-Royce and
other firms are racing to get their
prototypes off the ground — literally.
For larger aircraft, rather than
a complete redesign, we will see a
conversion to biofuel to cut down on
carbon emissions. It was more than
a decade ago that Virgin Atlantic
demonstrated the first flight using
biofuel, with boss Richard Branson
drinking the oil out of a coconut
shell with a straw to
prove how clean it
was. But so far, the
problem with
biofuels
has been that production costs have
made them too expensive.
There is now hope that biofuels
will become more viable as airlines
Cathay Pacific and Qantas are buying
up large supplies, with the latter
planning to run LA-Australia flights on
50/50 biofuel by next year. US airline
United have also announced they will
purchase nearly one billion gallons of
biofuel over the next 10 years.
If you have the need for speed, then
the Boom Supersonic planes, which
will cut flights times by over half, are
the ones to watch out for. Flying at
Mach2.2 (more than twice the speed
of sound), the XB-1 demonstrator
should take a test flight this year.
Once they make it to the commercial
market, they’ll be aimed at business
travellers, with flights costing less
(comparatively) than Concorde did.
Virgin Atlantic and Japan Airlines
already have pre-ordered 30 of the
55-seater planes.

90 MAY 2019
 v

Hi-tech goes As Attitude’s travel

editor, Markus Bidaux
higher has visited pretty
much every country Smartphones
on the planet. Here, he The unparalleled data capacity, speed and low
considers the impact latency of a 5G network means we will be able to
that technology could take advantage of virtual and augmented-reality
have on our holidays... technology. It is no longer difficult to imagine
smartphones with screens that project holograms,
combining with augmented reality to provide better
map guidance, interactive experiences in museums,
and even showing augmented photos and footage
of past events projected over the locations where
they actually happened.
Of course, no discussion of the future of
smartphones would be complete without mentioning
the social side of them. This is especially noteworthy
in places where LGBTQ rights — and therefore safe,
physical queer spaces — are non-existent.
I think these types of connections will transcend
the dating sphere, and businesses such as
accommodation platform misterb&b will increase
what’s on offer, to become more like social hubs
and help people meet locals in safety, as well as to
discover destinations.

Photography
The compact camera market has been in decline during the past decade, and as a
professional photographer who often uses a £3,000 camera, even I’m happy to admit
I often leave my heavy equipment at home and focus on getting the most out of my
smartphone’s camera. The quality of the camera in our phones has become a key selling
point, and we’re now at a stage where even luxury German camera manufacturer Leica is
supplying lenses to Huawei. Our phones have become indispensable, and why would you
want to carry another piece of tech when one will suffice?
In the near future, I suspect, phones will be equipped with something akin to 3D
scanning, so images will pop off our screens with holographic tech. Artificial intelligence
is already post-processing our images and analysing what’s in them so it can effectively
categorise them and AI will only be getting more advanced.
Not everyone will want to shoot with just the camera on their phone. Drones are
becoming more compact, easier to navigate and equipped with better cameras, so it
wouldn’t surprise me if, in years to come, we see swarms of small drones that can follow
and record travellers on journeys without even being noticed.
Even the shutter button could become a thing of the past: Japanese tech manufacturer
Neurowear have created a camera you wear on your head that analyses your brainwaves
and takes a photo when the user sees something pleasing. The contraption looks a little
ridiculous now, but imagine it refined so you can choose when to take a picture.
Mind-controlled tech, paired with something like a contact lens with inbuilt
cameras (already patented by Samsung), could mean the end of cameras, and wallets.
Smartphones and even passports may become integrated into our bodies. >

MAY 2019 91
Hotels
We’ve already seen a shift toward inclusivity
John Tanzella, president
Tour(ism)
over all-gay enclaves. Spanish brand Axel Hotels
is expanding, with “hetero-friendly” as their and chief executive
de force of the International
mantra. In the future, there are likely to be more
hotels that cater to adults only, uniting people Gay & Lesbian Travel
who are like-minded rather than focusing on
Association, a network
orientation. It’s unlikely that the traditional
of LGBTQ tourism
all-gay resort will experience a global growth
spurt, but hotels that offer a sense of belonging
businesses, knows just
— particularly for same-sex couples who want about everything
to show affection or for those who are gender- there is to know
nonconforming — will still have a about the outlook
place for many more years. for queer travellers
It’s easy to forget that
many LGBTQ people are
on holiday from places
where they don’t feel
comfortable being out.

Cruises
The LGBTQ cruise market will continue to grow
through more diverse offerings, particularly in
the small group sector.
Gay cruises are no longer just raucous party
fests, there are companies offering everything
from low-key river cruises to same-sex family
cruises. IGLTA has many tour operators as
members who offer small charters to diverse
ports of call, from Europe to Southeast Asia,
to appeal to travellers who are as focused on
culture as cocktails.

92 MAY 2019
 v

Marriage
Marriage is becoming a huge
part of LGBTQ travel market and
we suspect the safari wedding
business will boom for South
Africa, as the stand-out country
for LGBTQ rights on the continent.
Mexico also has huge potential — it
has a great diversity of offerings,
from jungle to coasts — and is
working hard to enhance its
LGBTQ-welcoming reputation.
Country-wide marriage equality
would go a long way to sealing
the deal.

Prides
Pride celebrations will remain strong in places such as New York, Toronto, Madrid and Sydney.
As we’ve seen recently, governmental shifts toward conservatism and anti-gay sentiment can
happen overnight, even in places where people have taken equality for granted for many years,
and Pride remains a great unifier. São Paolo Pride will become even more important to LGBTQ
visibility in Brazil as the community deals with its new far-right president.
Taiwan Pride, the largest in Asia, tops the list of popular Pride destinations while Japanese cities
are adding Pride events to their calendars, creating an easy way to connect with the not-always-
visible local LGBTQ communities in a fascinating country that is safe and welcoming.
Travellers seem to do a better job of looking at Asia as individual destinations within the
whole, while Africa and the Caribbean tend to get painted with one brush stroke. It will take
more countries within the continent/region to make large strides forward before Pride
becomes a major tourism driver for them.
While an emerging or smaller-market destination might not be able to compete on the Pride
front, they can deliver something that captures the essence of their local community, such as
Queernaval which is returning to the French city of Nice in 2019, to add extra glitter to what has
long been one of the largest carnival celebrations in Europe. We’ll probably see a larger LGBTQ
carnival presence across Latin America as well. There should be more events in the future too, to
appeal to LGBTQ families as more and more members of our community become parents.

>

93
 Researcher and LGBTQ
Greater destination development
expectations consultant Peter Jordan
has written two reports
on LGBTQ tourism for
the UN, and evaluates
the ever-changing global
politics surrounding
queer travel

North America
We are talking about three different countries (Canada,
Mexico and the US) with slightly different political systems,
historical narratives and world views. But the largest cities
in each of them have more in common than divides them,
and, as in the past, we can expect them to continue to be
the focal point of acceptance, progress and activism.
Despite the Trump slump in tourism, the US is still a highly
aspirational destination for people from around the world,
and they are usually able to separate the people they meet
from the politics they hear about. Cities such as New York,
San Francisco, Los Angeles and Miami are global gay hot
spots due to their history, and naturally this attracts curious
LGBTQ travellers from around the world, especially from
countries which are still culturally conservative.
It will be interesting to see how destinations such as Fort
Lauderdale, Key West, Provincetown, in Massachusetts, and
Puerto Vallarta (on Mexico’s Pacific coast) develop over the
coming decades. They became popular in the second half
of the 20th century among baby boomers who saw them
as a place of refuge and relaxation; a welcome contrast
from more conservative corners of the country. However,
Millennials and Gen Z have grown up in a more accepting
environment and have become used to exploring further
afield. Fort Lauderdale has done a lot to push boundaries
and reinvent itself, for example by reaching out to the
trans community and by hosting the upcoming Pride of
the Americas. Destinations will have to continue to push
boundaries and be clear about their values if they want to
stay front-of-mind for LGBTQ travellers.
In Mexico (as in the US prior to 2015), it’s been more of a
state-by-state, city-by-city struggle to get LGBTQ rights
through the courts. Similar to the US, Mexico is a patchwork
of liberal and conservative communities and currently equal
marriage is possible in Mexico City, plus around half of the
country’s states. In the remainder, equality legislation has
been proposed, and same-sex couples can appeal to have
their partnership legally recognised on an individual basis.
The Catholic Church still holds considerable influence
over politics in Mexico, however countries such as Spain,
Portugal, Colombia and Argentina have shown that
attitudes can — and do — shift.

94 MAY 2019
 Europe
Throughout the saga of Brexit, the majority of EU states have been run by leaders who
value the European Union and the rights that it guarantees for their citizens. In that
sense, the EU has been fortunate, however there is no guarantee that this will continue,
just as there’s no guarantee that LGBTQ rights will be protected for ever in the UK.
The EU will not automatically deteriorate without Britain’s membership but it’s
worth remembering that Britain has played an important role in protecting the
EU from hostile states, such as Russia, and in shaping the EU’s foreign policy
agenda, including advancing LGBTQ rights. For that reason, many in the EU
are disappointed to see the UK leave. Ultimately, it shows that supporting
equal rights for LGBTQ citizens is an ongoing process that deserves our
constant attention, as the process can fall apart as political agendas
change, and states seek to undermine it.

Asia
Ideally, we will see a the domino effect on LGBTQ rights seen
in South America mimicked in the Far East. But Asia is more
complicated than South America — a land mass united
by a common language and religion, and similar cultural
influences, whereas Asia is hugely diverse. Urbanisation
has helped loosen ties that force young people to conform
to their family’s traditional expectations. Pop culture,
TV, movies and, above all, social media have helped to
give visibility to queer people, relax attitudes and force
LGBTQ rights on to the political agenda.

Africa
Even in South Africa, the first African nation to
introduce same-sex marriage legislation, inequality
persists and violence against LGBTQ people is more
common than some might think. Resource-rich and
with a youthful population, Africa has been labelled as
the future economic growth engine of the world.
But it remains to be seen whether economic
development will bring social changes as it has done
elsewhere in the world. I’m optimistic that a new
generation of African leaders will be more accepting of
LGBTQ rights and that the increased visibility that comes
with social media and digitalisation will help.

South America
Progress in equal rights for LGBTQ citizens has helped to underpin a feeling
that queer visitors will be warmly welcomed and will be able to travel around
safely. I visited Colombia last year and found the country’s rapid progress on so
many fronts — particularly on rights for LGBTQ people — a compelling reason to visit.
While in Europe some of the biggest leaps were taken decades ago, in countries such as
Colombia you see it happening right in front of your eyes.
Major trans-national events across South America such as Carnival, music festivals and
dance competitions all have their own “gay corner” and provide a way to see these countries
at their best, when everyone is out celebrating. Queer life in Latin America tends to be
concentrated in major cities, and Buenos Aires, Santiago de Chile, Montevideo, Medellin and
Quito are often-overlooked as places that offer amazing culture and night life. >
 To infinity Planetary scientist and
NASA engineer Troy
and beyond Hudson, or Science
Daddy as he is known on
Space tourism social media, is perfectly
I’ve had the opportunity to experience a zero-gravity qualified to give his
flight. Being able to move freely inside the padded view on the future of
fuselage of a large plane was quite thrilling, if brief. space travel. These are
We experienced 30 seconds of reduced gravity, like on his opinions and not
Mars and the Moon, a total of 10 times. That’s hardly
necessarily those of the
enough time to get a feel for what living in such an
environment would be like but it was wonderful to
space administration
experience that feeling of lightness and freedom.
Going forward, how big the space tourism market
will be ultimately depends on how affordable we can
make the industry. Even if rockets become reusable,
there’s still a great amount of safety procedures,
quality control and consumables for every flight.
Getting into space requires burning a lot of expensive
fuel. Currently, we can only get into space using
chemical rockets, and the overheads are likely to
remain high until there’s a major technological
breakthrough. Seeing the Earth from the “outside”
would be irresistible if it were affordable.
I’m fully for the commercialisation of space both
for tourism and for industrial reasons. Private access
to space and the incentives inherent in it would drive
down prices, which is good for all of us.
According to some predictions, the cost for sending
inert mass into space will be less than $100 (£75) per
kilogram by 2040. At face value, that means the cost
of launching someone my size to low-Earth orbit would
be around $8,200 (£6,183). But it will be a lot more
than this considering all the safety measures needed,
other overheads and profit margins. A final price tag
of $20,000 (£15,000) is going to be out of the reach of
most people, but some might choose to save up for a
once-in-a-lifetime experience.
I don’t believe predictions that bring the cost much
below the $100/kg level. That would require a major
technological breakthrough or some impractically
large engineering project such as a space elevator.
I love the idea but, even if the materials required to
produce super-strong cable for an elevator were
mature, it’s impractical.
Space elevators are tens of thousands of
kilometres long. Spinning a cable of sufficient
length in 10 years would require a rate of about
1,000m an hour for the entire time.
Safety is a major concern for all space
flight. Depending on the amount of time a
tourist would spend in space, the necessary
infrastructure could be extensive. Sub-
orbital hops lasting minutes don’t need
much other than a bare-bones craft, you
wouldn’t even need a toilet on board.
But when space tourism gets to the level
of bringing people into orbit for days, the
craft would have to accommodate the many
needs of humans. And from a technical point of
view, we are incredibly fragile and dirty creatures.

96 MAY 2019
 v

Space colonisation
There’s no physical law forbidding space colonisation. Mars
has energy resources, ice and materials that could be used for
construction of habitats but it may lack extractable sources of trace
elements and minerals, so the delivery of raw material from asteroid
mining is likely to be essential.
The challenges of Mars are similar to those we face with our robotic
emissaries: it’s dusty, the temperature swings by nearly 100C every
day, the thin atmosphere lets in unfiltered UV radiation, and the soil
contains toxic and corrosive chemicals. All these are problems, I
believe, that can be solved with appropriate technology and focused
investments of time, money, and talent.
But it’s a long way away. That’s a psychological hit and a practical
problem. Earth and Mars line up for a “quick” (six-month) trajectory
every 26 months, so if there’s an emergency, they are unlikely to be in
favourable positions for jumping ship and coming home.
If humans really pushed it, we might have our first visitors to Mars
in a decade, although I think 20 or 30 years is more likely.
For the first permanent colony, we’d need to see some real
advances in environmental recycling to make a long-term mission
without resupply possible, so we may be talking about a century.
I wonder if, once we learn to build big habitats in space with
spin-induced gravity, we would even want to colonise a planet. The
science fiction writer Robert A Heinlein said, “Get into low-Earth
orbit and you’re halfway to anywhere in the solar system.” What he
meant was that getting to and from the surface of a planet requires
a lot of work, but once you’re in orbit, getting from one such place to
another is just a matter of a little fuel and a lot of time.
If we really aim to be citizens of the solar system, the deep gravity
of planets may be better avoided for all but scientific investigations.
If they were equally safe and equally comfortable, would you want to
live on a planet or in a giant space station?
LGBTQ people, as a category, are no better and no worse suited to
close-quarters habitation and stressful environments than straight
people. “Human Factors” is a discipline concerned with how different
personality types, social groupings, and command hierarchies work
for various situations. The desirable qualities for long-term space
flight are not ones that either group has a monopoly on.
In the selection of crews for such missions, an individual’s traits,
such as capacity for co-operation and procedural rigour, and a
tolerance for boredom would be given high importance. Cultural
stereotypes would, therefore, be entirely ignored.

Space hotels
There could be a variety of different space hotel implementations once
it becomes practical to build them. But humans have no experience with
industrial-scale manufacturing in space, which means almost everything
would need to be built on the ground and assembled in space as the
International Space Station (ISS) was — and that place is cramped!
So, I’m a fan of inflatable structures that can be launched in one piece and
blown up to many times their launch diameter, once in orbit.
Long-term stays in space will benefit from centrifugal gravity, but that requires very
large structures. Our ability to build such things in space isn’t nearly mature enough.
To achieve this, it would be more practical to mine the resources in space rather than
bringing everything from Earth. This means we would need to step up our asteroid-
mining game and get lots of practice processing raw material into habitats. It’ll be
many decades, maybe even centuries, before we see large-scale space structures like
O’Neill cylinders seen in the television show Babylon 5 or a Stanford Torus, the space
station proposed by NASA in the 1970s and later envisioned in the film Elysium.

Trip the light fantastic

Even if we are restricted by the universe’s edict that we cannot travel faster than light,
there could still be ways to travel to other star systems. Making such trips practical
would require numerous technological advances: high-efficiency engines and some
form of cryogenic hibernation, or life-extension technologies.
Heavier ships are more difficult to accelerate, so one could imagine uploading crew
consciousness to computers, thereby eliminating the messy complications and heavy
resource requirements of the human body.
But would such a crew still be human?
We may not be able to travel to the stars today, but it wasn’t really that long ago
that we couldn’t fly…

MAY 2019 97
3
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Words Markus Bidaux

ARCTIC ROLE
Bed down in your own personal glass igloo at Kakslauttanen Arctic Resort, north
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colourful flowing ribbons of the Aurora Borealis, or Northern Lights, for shows
that last between five minutes and the whole night, depending on your luck. The
igloos, set in a forest, have beds and toilets, but to shower you will have to go to
one of the other buildings. Alternatively, there are kelo-glass igloos, which are
traditional log cabins with the igloo built into the side, like a conservatory. These
include a private sauna. You can also enjoy a safari — pulled by Lapland husky,
reindeer, snowmobile or snow tank — and go skiing.

kakslauttanen.fi

ON A HIGH
Perched on a rocky ridge, overlooking
the Gorner glacier close to the swish
Swiss resort of Zermatt, the 3100
Kulmhotel Gornergrat sits 3,100m
above sea level. This makes it a long
way from any light pollution so on
clear nights, guests can see the Milky
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For a slightly closer inspection, the SUPER NOVA
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Planetarium project, which allows Canadian province of
visitors to join scientists in the Nova Scotia is nestled
observatory, found in the hotel’s in a UNESCO Biosphere
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astronomer acting as your guide to safaris of the starry skies. In 2014, Trout Point became the world’s first
the heavens. Each of the hotel’s 22 certified Starlight Hotel, awarded by the Starlight Foundation. Beyond
minimalist rooms is named after one the cosy log-cabin-style suites is a stargazing platform in a meadow
of the 29 mountains that surround the with unobstructed views of the sky. The staff, along with the help of
hotel — including the Matterhorn. an array of telescopes, will guide you across the map of stars overhead.
During the day you can go kayaking, canoeing and cycling, or for a hike
gornergrat-kulm.ch in the forest. Remember to look out for rugged lumberjacks!

troutpoint.com

98 MAY 2019
T avel
H O T
S ince 2016, same-sex relations
Words
Markus Bidaux
have been legal in the Seychelles,
which is a good thing because
I am staying on the archipelago of
115 islands with some fellow LGBTQ
journalists. Not that I’m looking for
that kind of action on this trip, these
guys are not my type and regardless I
have steak at home.
No, it’s the fact that we are far less
likely to be looked at strangely or
harassed during our stay.
We are staying in the Eden Bleu
Hotel on the private Eden Island, 5km
from the airport and a further 5km
from the capital Victoria.
We drive over the bridge on to the
island, its marina filled with massive
yachts, and before we know it we are
checking in. The waterfront property
has 75 contemporary rooms and
100 MAY 2019
H O T E L
Eden Bleu
SEYCH ELLES
13 suites and a large infinity pool
overlooking the bay. But we are staying
on the other side of the island, in the
hotel’s private villa with six en-suites.
I am presented with the keys to the
master suite, which has a four-poster
bed, a huge balcony with an outdoor
shower. The other rooms are just
as nice with their own balconies or
terraces — just not as big.
I was a bit concerned about having
a villa at first, but having its own pool,
kitchen and lounge to socialise, makes
for a riotously fun stay.
Between breakfast and late dinners
in the hotel’s restaurant and Bar Bleu,
we venture out to the other islands by
ferry. On Praslin, we dig our toes into
the white sands as we race into the
turquoise waters of Anse Lazio, voted
one of the most beautiful beaches in
the world, and on La Digue, we rent
bikes and cycle to visit possibly the
most-photographed beach in the
world, Anse Source d’Argent.
Boasting huge granite boulders, the
beach also has tropical foliage which
offers much-needed shade.
With more than a hundred islands
to explore, Eden Bleu is the perfect
base — close enough to the ferry port
and airport to be convenient, but far
enough away not to be hassled by the
noise of either. And if you are going all
the way to Seychelles, you want to dip
your toes into the crystal clear waters
as often as possible.
From £1,915pp based on two sharing
on a B&B basis for seven nights, or
£1,100 per night to rent the villa,
which sleeps 12. edenbleu.com
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MAY 2019 103

ACTIVE

REVIEW

CENTR, BY CHRIS
HEMSWORTH
A fitness app with Chris Hemsworth at
the helm, you say? As a self-confessed
Marvel super fan, the opportunity to
train like the mighty Thor didn’t need too
much of a hard sell.
Unfortunately, the first thing
I noticed once logged in is
the distinct lack of Chris
Hemsworth throughout the
app. Sure I’m here to work
out, but I also want sexy
Hemsworth content!
That said, the experts behind
his transformation have filled
Centr with features, podcasts physical workouts — which busy schedule. After a seven-day free trial,
and programmes to suit all aren’t just weights-orientated there are subscription offers from one
performance levels. either: there’s a ton of metcon month (£15.49) to a year (£93.99).
The planner schedules not (metabolic conditioning) to do, Once you come to terms with the fact
only your workouts but also your such as MMA, HIIT and boxing. that there isn’t much by way of Hemsworth
mindfulness and nutrition. It guides These are great if you want to lean down jumping around shirtless, then this is a
you through each day, from what you but keep your muscle mass. brilliant app.
should be eating (with suggested meals Centr offers either coached or self-guided I give it four out of five mjolnirs.
and detailed recipes on how to create the training sessions, with the latter actually Reviewed by Chris Jones
right food) to when you should meditate, being more direct with no intro video, which
which seems to be as important as the is great for those squeezing a workout into a centr.com

MORPHER HELMET
Now that spring has sprung, many
irritable commuters will be itching to
feel the leather of a bike saddle between
their thighs (we know we are). But as
Words Tim Heap
the controversy about making helmets
mandatory continues, some people
simple won’t wear one because it’s too
much of a nuisance to carry around.
Now, British inventor Jeff Wolfe
NANU PILLOW has come up with an answer. The
It’s no secret that sleep is important for both Morpher helmet folds in half to just
mental and physical well being, and pillows 6.5cm thick, meaning cyclists can
play a large part in getting a good night’s kip. slip it into their bag when not in
But, when it comes to what we rest our heads use. Available in a range of colours,
on each night, we all have a specific type — a its portability doesn’t compromise
bit like with men. Personally, a limp feather pillow leaves me cold, and, by the protection to your noggin either
next morning, I’m tired and cranky. Give me something full-bodied and — the Morpher has been tested and certified
supportive: pillow or man, come to think of it. for safety. Price: £109.99.
Anyway, whatever your pillow preference, you don’t have to shop around
to find the right one any more because Nanu will build one specific to your morpherhelmet.com
needs. Answer questions relating to firmness, height, weight and sleeping
position, and your perfect pillow will arrive a few days later — with a 30-night
trial. If only the guys we date came with the same policy. Price: £35.

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From Pit Crew duties on
Drag Race — wearing just
his undies — to his day

R
job as aerospace engineer,

OU
Bryce Eilenberg, 30, is

Y
always on the go

TA R
S INEST
EN G As told to Tim Heap
Photography Raul Romo @raulromo
Styling Gabriel Langenbrunner @langygang
 ACTIVE

Bryce wears compression

pants, by Nike

S
o you’re back on screen
for the new series of Drag
Race, as part of the Pit
Crew. You’ve done it for
quite a few years now, is it fun?
I’ve befriended the cast and crew over
the years, so every time we film it’s like
going to a big, happy family reunion.
It’s a blessing to be back each year and
it’s not something I take for granted.
And, of course, Ru is such a pleasure to
be around.
What’s been your favourite moment
on the show ?
My single favourite challenge so far
was the Breastworld episode from
season 10 because I got to have fun
with a dramatic death scene when
Eureka shot me with her laser gun
(it totally wasn’t a hair dryer with
glitter). That said, my favourite type
of challenges are when the queens
have to make their own skits or filming or not. However, we do get free
advertisements. It’s great to interact catering for lunch and it’s sometimes
with them as they come up with difficult to resist going back for
creative ways to use us as human seconds or thirds even if I know I have
props. The whole process is absurd, to be on stage later that day.
silly fun. As a straight man, do you find it
Has it been a big education into flattering that so many gay guys have a
the world of drag and the LGBTQ crush on you having seen Drag Race?
experience? Everyone I’ve met in person who
I was never exposed much to the knows me from the show has been FAN: Bryce
world of drag before I was on the really nice. The internet, of course, is with Trixie

show, outside of a few obscure a completely different story. While it

references in pop culture. It’s been a does make me happy to see positive Which contestant would you choose to
fascinating experience to talk to the or encouraging comments about be your drag mother?
queens and learn about why they my photography or running, there’s While every season has stand-out
got into the art of drag and more than a fair share of queens who bring a smile to my face,
how they view their drag
personas. There are some
“I get a fair share pretty crude and explicit
sexual comments that I don’t
it’s no secret that I’m the biggest fan
of Trixie Mattel. She was on my first
truly heart-breaking stories of crude comments particularly care for or find season [series seven] and I fell in love
but it’s also heart-warming
to see a place so full of love
I don’t care for” at all flattering.
Have you ever done drag
with her comedy. Since then, she’s
released two country albums which
where people’s talents can shine, no yourself or been tempted to? What’s made me fall in love with her even
matter who they are. your style and drag name? more. I’d have a lot of fun going on
You’re never really in much more than We actually did an episode where the the road with her, playing guitar and
a pair of pants when you’re on the queens dressed me in drag. My name having a laugh.
show. Do you feel the need to up your was Red Hott. I was quite impressed Do you think you’d be able to do a full
exercise levels and watch your diet with the results. I ended up looking a tuck, Trinity style?
before the show? lot like Peggy Bundy [played by Katey I think doing a back tuck when I was
Luckily, I really enjoy exercising so I Sagal], from Married with Children. a college cheerleader is the most
keep in shape regardless of if we are Pretty awesome! extreme “tuck” I’ll ever do. >

MAY 2019 107

 Bryce wears
tracksuit,
by Nike
You’ve also been part of the Red Hot
calendar, which celebrates red-haired
men and women. In the UK, ginger
people are often subject to bullying
and teasing at school — is that as
prevalent in the US?
I never saw a lot of bullying. There
was mild teasing during childhood as
one might expect with anyone who
looks “different” in any way. It did
feel a little weird when South Park did
that episode about gingers and “day
walkers” and all of a sudden people
started calling me by these terms that
I never used to describe myself. And
then there was the whole “National
Kick A Ginger Day”, but anyone I knew
saw it as an absurd joke and didn’t
take it seriously.
Outside of being in the Pit Crew
and modelling, you’re an aerospace
engineer. What does your day-to-day
work entail?
When I was a kid, I watched the movie
Top Gun and fell in love with fighter
jets. So, when college applications
came around I just ticked the
“aerospace engineering” box, and
ended up with my undergraduate
and masters degree from UCLA. Now,
I spend about 50 to 60 hours a week
designing and testing environmental
cooling systems for aircraft —
108 MAY 2019
Bryce wears
compression
pants, by
Nike
basically, the stuff that makes sure
you stay alive when you’re in a tube
flying 600 miles per hour at 35,000ft. It
can get very busy but I love it. I get to
tackle challenging technical problems
and lead diverse teams of people with
a wide range of skill sets. I learn every
day, I mentor new employees and get
to teach them what I’m passionate
about, and I feel really rewarded when
I see the hard work of my team result
in a bad-ass jet.
What does your usual weekly training
programme look like?
If I’m training for a marathon
or ultra-marathon I’ll usually “I had asthma as a
run 40 to 70 miles per week
with mostly easy runs, a
kid, so sports were
few tempo runs at a higher tough for me”
intensity and a longer run
of about 20 miles on Saturday or
Sunday. When I’m not doing that,
I’m all over the place with beach
volleyball, rock climbing, weight-
lifting, or acro yoga. The key for me is
just finding activities that I can enjoy.
If you don’t like it then you won’t do
it consistently, and consistency is
paramount.
How big a part does diet play in your
physique?
I’m a big fan of keeping things simple.
I don’t restrict myself to eating any
certain foods or eating at certain
times of day or anything like that. If I
want to lose fat, I’ll eat fewer calories
than I burn per day. If I want to gain
muscle, I’ll eat more calories than
I burn and focus on getting more
protein. If I’m going for a long run, I’ll
make sure I get a lot of carbs.
How happy are you with your body?
Quite happy. My body has held up
decently over the years and it’s let me
enjoy an incredible variety of sports
and physical challenges from football
and cheer-leading to rock climbing
and ultra-marathons. To some degree,
everyone has areas that they would
like to change, given the chance. I
would change my skin because
I burn easily and therefore have
a higher risk of skin cancer.
Has your physique fed into your
confidence?
Indirectly yes because my physique
is the reason I’m on Drag Race. After
you go on international TV in front
of millions, in just your underwear,
everything else becomes easy.
When did you get into fitness? Were
you a sporty and outdoorsy kid?
When I was really young I had asthma
and needed an inhaler. Sports were
tough for me because as soon as I’d
start running or exerting myself, my
breathing would close up and I’d
have to stop. When I was a teenager
I grew out of it and started playing
tackle football. That sport flipped
something inside me to try as
hard as I could, and that
continued into all sorts
of other sports until I fell
in love with cross country
and running in general.
Lastly… Attitude turns 25
this issue, so we’re looking to the next
25 years. What do you hope the world
will look like in 2044?
It’s a long shot, but a world powered by
nuclear fusion reactors. They’ve been
saying commercial fusion energy is
about 25 years away for a long while
but maybe this time that prediction
will finally be accurate.
RuPaul’s Drag Race continues every
Friday on Netflix in the UK
@bryceeilenberg
 ACTIVE

GROOMING Joanna
Bryce weawrs hoodie Klein, using Tatcha
and underwear, Beauty & Baxter
both by Calvin Klein, of California
socks, by Champion @missjoannak
 SAVING YOUR SKIN
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COOL, CALM AND COLLECTED

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beauty brands are exploring the use of cannabis
in its legal form. And, no, it won’t get you high.
Inspired by their apothecary heritage and use
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of red skin and provides relief from discomfort
while helping to balance hydration.
It can be used on sensitive skin and even helps
to strengthen the skin’s barrier so it can protect
itself. Another bonus is that you won’t be hit with
a major bout of the munchies immediately after
application. Available soon from Selfridges, a 30ml
bottles will cost £38.

kiehls.co.uk

110 MAY 2019

 ACTIVE

FRAGRANCES

Makes scents
With the arrival of spring, it’s time to
indulge in a clean and fresh fragrance
Words Nick Byam

Un Jardin Sur Le Toit eau de toilette, Infusion Fleur D’Oranger eau de parfum, Star Magnolia cologne,
by Hermes, 100ml, £87 by Prada at John Lewis, 100ml, £105 by Jo Malone, 100ml, £98

Givenchy Gentleman cologne, Afternoon Swim cologne, Stem eau de parfum,

by Givenchy at Debenhams, 50ml, £49 by Louis Vuitton Les Parfums, 100ml, £185 by Malin + Goetz, 50ml, £75

MAY 2019 111

 FOCUS

PUT YOUR
MIND TO IT
There’s more to sport and exercise than
just toning your body. Matt Lister will
give you something to think about
Photography Markus Bidaux

I
see plenty of people struggle with their health and
fitness “journeys” and it underlines for me just
how much exercise, training and performance is
cultivated in the mind. The psychology behind
sport and exercise is vast, so I want to highlight some key
areas that can make a difference in your attitude toward
achieving the results you want.

FOOD CHAIN
It’s not just our bodies that need to fuel up, so do our brains,
and there are certain foods that could increase your “brain
power.” Blueberries have been linked to reducing short-term
memory loss, for any Dory out there, while vitamin C is
amazing for improving mental agility, so gobble up plenty
of blackcurrants, citrus fruits and broccoli. Turning to the
long term, you might be able to fend off memory lapses with
oily fish and omega-3 rich seeds such as chia and linseed.

SLEEP ON IT
Simple, yes, but think about how many hours of sleep you
actually get in an average night? Healthy adults, aged 18
to 65, need between seven and nine hours every night.
Anything less than that and cognitive function begins to
suffer dramatically.

GOING APE
Stay with me on this one. The mastermind behind British
cycling’s success, consultant psychiatrist Professor Steve
Peters, created the “chimp model” which has been adopted
by countless nations and their sports. I can’t stress enough
how meeting this man, working with his students, and
gaining knowledge about this mind-management scheme
designed to make you happier and healthier, has changed
my life, not just within sport but also day to day. If you ever
read or learn one more thing in your life… this should be it!

JUMP FOR JOY

Get competitive and have fun! You should always enjoy
what you are doing. If you are dragging yourself to the gym,
with a face of thunder and a mood to match, ask yourself
why? There are so many ways to exercise now that there will
always be an alternative to keep what you’re doing fresh and
enjoyable. Try a new class each fortnight to see if something
different takes your fancy.

112 MAY 2019

 ACTIVE

HAVE THE STOMACH FOR IT

Warmer weather will soon be here — we hope — and you’ll want to be taking off your top.
Here are some tips to help make those abs attract more attention when you do

WALKING PLANKS
> Start in a standard front plank position, keeping a flat back with only your toes and hands touching the floor.
> Slide one hand forward and drop that arm’s elbow to the floor. Then repeat with the opposite arm so both elbows are now on the floor.
> Then reverse the movement to extend your arms again, one at a time. Continue walking like this, keeping your body straight and your
core engaged for the remainder of the time you’ve set

HOLLOW HOLD/ARCH
> For a hollow hold, lie on your back, arms outstretched, and
lift both your legs and your entire upper body so only your
lower back and bum are flat to the ground.
> For a hollow arch, lie on your stomach, arms outstretched
once again, and arch the opposite way so your hips and
stomach are flat to the floor.

SIT UPS
> Start on your back with
your knees bent and feet flat
on the floor. Put your fingers
to your temples.
> Sit all the way up, but with
a flat back, so that your
shoulders break the line
of your hips, then return
to the start position.

SINGLE LEG V SIT-UPS APESHIT CRUNCHES

> Start by lying on your back with your arms up over > Stolen from Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s Apeshit video,
your head, and your legs straight. start by lying on your back, your arms
> Lift your upper body and one foot to the sky, touch by your sides and legs extended.
your fingers to your toes and return to the start position. > In one motion, raise one knee up toward your
> Repeat with the opposite leg, trying to keep chest At the same time lift your shoulders and back
it straight as you lift it. our bum.
rn to the TNESSSHOREDITCH.COM)
er leg.

MAY 2019 113

ACTIVE
A PROBLEM
SHARED
Got a problem? Dr Ranj Singh
is here to offer his advice
When I was 18, I got a tattoo on
my lower back, which I now really
regret. I find it so embarrassing I’m
actually scared to be intimate with
anyone, and desperately want it to be
removed. Can I get it done on the NHS
and what does it involve?
Dylan, Belfast
Good news: tattoos can
be removed. Bad news: it’s
unlikely that you’ll be able to
have it done on the NHS. But
before you even consider the
procedure, it’s important to
know what it entails because
it’s not as straightforward as
you might think.
First of all, tattoo removal
should only be carried out by
a reputable practitioner in an
appropriate environment. It
involves a hand-held device
being pressed against the
skin, activating a laser which
will break the tat into tiny
fragments that are then
absorbed by the body.
Some people find this
very uncomfortable — it
feels like an elastic band
being snapped against you
— but you may be able to
use numbing cream to help
with the pain.
It can take 10 sessions
or more for the tattoo to go
completely, and each can slot
can last between 10 and 30
minutes depending on the
size of the tat. However, please
bear in mind that, even after
several treatments, it may
not be possible to remove the
114 MAY 2019
HEALTH
NEWS
Meningitis vaccine
Large numbers of 18 to 25 year
olds are not aware that they
need their catch-up MenACWY
meningitis vaccine. Anyone
born on or after 1 September
1996 — or students going to
college/university for the first
time and who have not yet had
the vaccine — remain eligible
up until their 25th birthday.
tattoo entirely, and it’s fairly The vaccination protects
common to have some ink against four strains of the
left over. deadly illness, in particular the
You will also have to highly virulent Men W, cases
protect the skin after each of which have been rising
session because it will be since 2009. If you are unsure
sensitive. It’s not unusual, whether you need the jab, get
either, for there to be bleeding in touch with your doctor.
and scabbing afterwards.
There’s also a risk that your Hospital’s LGBTQ
skin could scar and that awareness project
natural pigmentation may The Evelina London Children’s
change permanently. Hospital has kick-started the
Rainbow NHS Badge Project
“A laser breaks up to increase understanding of
LGBTQ young people, and to
the tat and feels like provide a safe space for them
an elastic band being to seek help. Dr Mike Farquhar
snapped against you” created the programme in
response to research showing
Then there is the cost: the challenges that queer
to have it done privately, people face when it comes to
typically costs are about £150 accessing health care. Staff
per session for a small tattoo, are given a rainbow NHS badge
up to £800 for a larger inking. to wear — alongside specific
If this is all a bit much, diversity training — signalling
it might be worth having a to a person that they are there
cover-up tattoo, where a new to offer advice and support.
one is created on top of the The project has since been
old design to hide it. rolled out across the whole
Obviously, this means of Guy’s and St Thomas’ NHS
having to go through the Trust. For more information,
whole process again but that see @RainbowNHSBadge
might give a more acceptable, on Twitter.
and less embarrassing, result.
IF YOU’D LIKE TO SUBMIT A PROBLEM FOR DR RANJ TO ANSWER, TWEET @DRRANJ OR EMAIL THOMAS.STICHBURY@ATTITUDE.CO.UK
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Real Bodies
p122

PEOPLE, PLACES, PERSPECTIVES

118 Real Life 120 Life Lessons 122 Real Bodies 124 Word on the Street 126 Table For Two
127 Buddy Brilliant 129 Books 131 Films 132 Music 133 Homo Fomo

MAY 2019 117

 LIKE A
LITTLE
PRAYER
118 MAY 2019

One-time trainee priest Owen O’Kane, 48,
found his true calling when he became a
psychotherapist instead — and now helps
LGBTQ people with mental-health
struggles to find self-love and worth
As told to Thomas Stichbury
Photography Markus Bidaux
G
rowing up gay in Northern
Ireland during The Troubles
wasn’t easy. I spent my
childhood in a part of Belfast called
Ardoyne, a flashpoint for a lot of the
violence. You were at home, a bomb
goes off, then 10 minutes later, it was
back to normal, and you were playing
outside again.
It was a tough, working-class area,
and although the people were lovely,
difference wasn’t promoted.
Flashback to my first Pride in the
capital, this must have been 20-plus
years ago now, and there were about
50 people in the parade. I watched
from the sidelines, not wanting to be
seen, thinking: how are they finding
the courage to do this?
Last year’s Pride had 50,000, maybe
more, taking part. It’s incredible how
far we’ve come.
I didn’t come out until my early
twenties. It just wasn’t the norm. I
also grew up Catholic, surrounded by
religion — literally. My bedroom, for
example, was hilarious. Everywhere I
turned there would be either a crucifix
or Jesus hanging on the wall, not to
mention a statue of the Virgin Mary
with luminous eyes that would light
up in the dark. So, at night-time, I’d
have the Virgin Mary staring at me.
I took it a step further at the age
of 18 when I went to a monastery in
Dublin for three years to train to be
a priest. It seemed like the natural
trajectory; I went to mass every week
and believed in God. I didn’t link it
to being gay, and I didn’t view it as
running away or hiding.
It may sound weird but those were
some of the best years of my life. I met
incredible people and the day-to-day
work was fascinating: working in a
hospice or with drug addicts and the
homeless. I don’t regret it. In some
ways, the training helped me come out
as it forced me to really look at myself.
One of the more memorable
moments during my time at the
monastery was a trip to Lourdes, a
place of Catholic pilgrimage in France
where the Virgin Mary is said to have
appeared. Millions of people visit it
every year and some people claim
that after blessing themselves in the
water from a spring in the grotto of
Massabielle, they have been healed.
I had the opportunity to go into
the water and to pray for my
“intention”, which was that
the gay thing would go away,
that I’d come back straight
and that would be the end of
it. However, while being led to
the water, out of the corner of
my I eye I saw these absolutely
gorgeous French guys emerge
with no tops on. They were
just wearing shorts. All I could
see were these huge biceps,
beautiful perfect bodies. SUPPORT: Owen
with his mum
I remember thinking,
“Fucking hell, if I’m still
looking at guys here of all “I thought: ‘If I’m
places, what hope is there? looking at guys here
I’m doomed!” Ironically, it was
a healing in a different way. of all places, what
Something shifted in my brain hope is there?’”
that day: I decided not to fight
it any more, I couldn’t live a life that
wasn’t authentic and true.
After leaving the monastery, I came
out to my parents. It was really late at
night when I sat them down. My mum
said: “Have you got someone pregnant?
Are you taking drugs?” I replied:
“Hardly, I’ve been in a monastery.” At
one point, she asked: “Are you going
out with a Protestant?” Then she said,
“Don’t say you’re gay,” and I replied, “It
is that actually.”
Bless them, one day they thought
they had a potential Pope in the house,
then 24 hours later they learn they’ve
got a gay under their roof!
I’d be lying if I said that they were
Real life social
overjoyed by the news but they were
just concerned for me. They both got
there in the end and it became very
normal for them. Indeed, I’ve been
with my partner for 20 years and he’s
part of the family, always has been, and
was never made to feel any different.
My mum died of breast cancer
12 years ago and, on the day of her
funeral, I discovered that she’d been
volunteering for a hotline for parents
of LGBTQ children. Someone called
the house phone, I answered. It was a
lady with an English accent and she
said, “Are you Owen? Your mum often
talked about you.” I told my dad and
he said, “She’s being doing the hotline
for years, she’d be on there for hours.”
It had never came up in
conversation. I don’t think she
had the support when I was
coming out and, somewhere
in her mind, she realised
there was a need for this. She
was waving the pink flag and
doing her bit. It was testament
to her character and made
me so proud. It also made
me realise that I’m one of the
lucky ones, to have a family
who embraced me.
I’ve come a long way from
wanting to “pray the gay away”
and those feelings of guilt and
shame have given way to self-
love, and to allowing myself
to be loved.
That’s what my book, Ten to
Zen, is about. My experience
as a therapist is that, underlying most
struggles, particularly within the
LGBTQ community, is a shame of some
description, a sense of not being good,
or worthy, enough.
I want to make things easier for
people and I couldn’t do that without
being open about my own struggles.
It is so important to me that mental
well-being is taken seriously — the
stats around LGBTQ people speak for
themselves — and I just want them to
know that you can take control and
ownership, that there is something
you can do about it.
Ten to Zen is out now. @owenokaneten
MAY 2019 119

THE ALIEN
Everyone knows blonds get more
attention. Scientists have proven
it but their research was ignored
because they were boring brown-
haired scientists
I love myself all the time. At
least once in the morning,
and usually again right before
I go to sleep
BEING EMOTIONALLY HONEST
MAKES ME VOMIT
When you’re locked in a Cadillac,
sinking to the bottom of the
ocean, you either learn about
cars or you die
Spoiler alert: sweet potatoes
SUCK! How’d you get the
sweet out of the potatoes?
MY ANGELA LANSBURY
WORKOUT. WHY MISS
LANSBURY, YOU ASK? WELL,
I’VE COME TO ACCEPT THAT I
HAVE THE BODY OF A POST-
MENOPAUSAL SENIOR WOMAN.
I DO, I’M AT PEACE WITH IT
120 MAY 2019
life lessons
ROGER
Centuries-old, small,
grey psychopathic
extra-terrestrial
The original Roswell alien that
crashed in the New Mexico desert
in 1947 and went on to inspire a
thousand urban myths, Roger is
better known as the fifth member
of the Smith family in the animated
sitcom American Dad! Pansexual
and androgynous, and sporting
a scathing sense of humour that
would sit comfortably on an episode
of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Roger adds
AA — for arsehole alien — to the
LGBTQ acronym. Our intergalactic
queer sista with a penchant for wigs
and heels, Roger flips between
emotionally unstable and
malevolent with the skill of
even the best self-loathing
homosexual. We’re not sure if
he was always such a cutting
bitch, or whether it’s the result
of decades spent hiding from
society. Rightly voted the gayest
cartoon character of all time
by Logo TV in March 2014,
Roger is the ultimate
queer icon for an
unstable age.
If you aren’t going to put forth the
effort to be interesting, then I’m not
going to go the extra mile to listen
There’s always a way around
things
I READ AN ARTICLE THAT SAID:
“IF YOU DRINK EVERY DAY YOU
ARE AN ALCOHOLIC.” THANK
GOD, THEN, THAT I ONLY DRINK
EVERY NIGHT
Remember when Rudy from
The Cosby Show got old and
stopped being cute? I brought
them Raven-Symoné. Saw her
on a Philadelphia playground
and knew she was a star.
Snatched her right up. Six
months later, her parents
saw her on TV and realised she
was still alive. I did some time
for that
I NEED VODKA TO HELP ME
ENDURE ALL THE WINDOW-
LICKING, CRAYON-EATING,
HELMUT-WEARING FUCKTARDS
I’LL ENCOUNTER TODAY
 social

I don’t always drink blended

alcoholic beverages but when
I do, it’s because I’m driving

IN A HUNDRED YEARS, WHEN

THERE ARE A MILLION JERKS
RIDING AROUND MANHATTAN
DRUNK IN LIMOS, THE WEST
WILL SEEM LIKE A PARADISE

Don’t call me boss. That makes me

feel like some kind of monster. Call
me dad

YOU CAN’T BE A PET UNLESS

SOMEONE LOVES YOU

Oh, I love your religion ... for the

crazy virgin birth. Water into wine.
It’s like Harry Potter, but it causes
genocide and bad folk music

WHY IS THE SUN SO LOUD?

One day, I will solve my

problems with maturity.
But for today, it will be with
alcohol

American Dad! airs on Fox on Tuesdays at 9pm  

MAY 2019 121

 IN THE
THICC
OF IT
Timothie James — aka drag
queen Grace Shush — and
illustrator Tom Taylor bare all
as they tell us why the queer
scene has been screaming out
for their plus-size club night
As told to Thomas Stichbury
Photography Francisco Gomez de Villaboa

TIMOTHIE
(GRACE
SHUSH)
JAMES
I’m a drag queen —
last year’s winner of
Miss Sink the Pink, no
less — DJ and events
producer, and I’d been
looking to launch a
femme body-positive
club night targeted at
male-bodied individuals for
a while. However, I didn’t have
a clue what I wanted it to look like,
which is where Tom stepped in.
I’d seen his artwork for other clubs, then we
met at Dragworld and immediately hit it off.
In the gay community, when you’re larger,
there is an expectation that you have to be
part of a tribe. Like a bear. So, you have to be
a clone of a masculine, stocky guy just to feel
comfortable with the way you look.
The scene is so problematic, especially in
the UK. In the US, to be a femme bear is far
more accepted, whereas here, it doesn’t seem
to be something that is deemed attractive.
Guys on dating apps send me negative
messages all the time, both weight and
gender-related.
I didn’t always celebrate my body. I would
never take my top off in public, and when I
was younger I would ring cosmetic surgeons
to get prices for procedures.
Drag has helped me embrace myself. It
changed my life. I never thought I would
think of myself as sexy
until I became Grace
Shush.
It’s essential to get
the message of body
positivity across, not only
to the younger generation
but also to older people
who don’t feel they belong in a
space. That is what THICC provides,
an inclusive space for everyone and “Even though I
anyone to feel at ease, to be able to lose all
inhibitions, and to love themselves for who
worked out like a
they are. Oh, and it’s super queer and you’re fiend and survived
guaranteed to have a fucking great time! on salad, I was the
First and foremost, we want people to
dance all night long, without any hang-ups
guy at the beach
whatsoever. THICC is always theatrical and with his top on”
immersive. We play music that you don’t have Tom
to be mashed off your face to bop along to, we
have pop-up drag shows and we always get
the crowd involved in a catwalk.
You can also expect an abundance of THICC
and juicy go-go dancers!
My advice for people who don’t feel ready
to fly their THICC femme flags just yet is:
come on down. Think of it as a normal club
night, talk to us if you’re feeling nervous, and
see for yourself what a friendly, inviting space
we have created. And I mentioned the go-go
boys, right? They won’t fail to inspire you to
be confident in your own skin.

122 MAY 2019

 Real bodies social

TOM
TAYLOR
I can remember the exact moment that
Timothie slid into my DMs. I’d just released
my fifth range of tees with Prowler (where I
work part-time) called THICC, which
were intended to celebrate more
body diversity, something
really lacking in the gay
community. The rest, as
they say, is history.
Female body
positivity in the
mainstream has
come such a long way
in the past 10 years,
thanks to trailblazers
such as models Ashley
Graham and Tess Holliday,
who work really hard to
dismantle normative views of
the “perfect female body.” We also have
male models such as Zach Miko doing it for
the boys — although male beauty standards
still have a long way to go.
But in the queer community, which is so
image driven, it is time for change.
We are taught from the moment we come
out that to live your best gay life, you must
look a certain way. When I came out at 16, I
had been so bombarded with images of the
“perfect male body” that I developed a serious
eating disorder.
Even though I would work out like a fiend
and survived mainly on salad, I was still the
guy at the beach with his top on.
Working at Prowler and being around more
like-minded boys has helped tremendously.
When I gave up striving for perfection and
relaxed, I noticed my body started filling
out as I’m naturally a broader guy, and the
responses from my friends have helped me
feel confident and sexy.
Creating a space like THICC is so important
to me. We need to teach that the body you
were born in is beautiful. My experience
would have been totally different if I’d had
something like this growing up, and we’ve
had the most incredible responses from
people who have partied with us. One guy in
the smoking area came over to thank us. He
hadn’t been clubbing in years because he’d
never felt comfortable in his own skin.
We have big plans. We’ve had messages on
social media from people all over the globe
asking for the next dates so they can book
“I used to ring flights and hotels. That’s how much THICC is
cosmetic surgeons needed right now.
to get prices for @thegraceshush
procedures” @tomtaylorillustrated
Timothie @thicc.london

MAY 2019 123

 Lena A lot of places,
such as America, appear
more inclusive than they
really are, so that needs to
change. I’d like to see more
queer people of colour able
to live openly, too

JINX HOOD We need

more support for
trans people, more
awareness and to
stop seeing it as a
“problem”

STIRLING
It would be nice to see a world where
AIDEN everyone was accepted, regardless of gender
A place where people could just be nice: no
stereotypes, no assumptions

Senior (left)
A world where everyone
understands each
other more and realises
sexuality isn’t a choice.
We would all be able
to get along without
social restrictions
Nathan
There are just no words

124 MAY 2019

 social

GRACE
I just want
the future to
be better, in
general
JORDAN
I’d like to see
more countries
supporting
equal marriage
— every country
actually

National
Student Pride
2019

THE
WORD
ON THE AMY I spent three days

STREET making this customised

Pride jacket! In the future,
asking people’s pronouns
How do you hope the should be the norm. We
world will look 25 need gender-neutral toilets
years from now? and marriage equality
As told to/photography
Erica von Stein
Julian More rights for
the trans community and
respect around using the
correct pronouns

JOSHUA Everyone to be
treated equally and I don’t
Patrick think it should be necessary
Freedom to be who we want to be. Why for people to have to come
should we live in a world with homophobia
and racism? People will be happy with who
out. Everyone should be able
they are and who everyone else is to be who they want to be

MAY 2019 125

 Table
For
Two
IAN AND TOM
DINED AT M STREET
VICTORIA
What were you hoping to get out of
the date?
I: To meet someone interesting who
can hold a good conversation. And, of
course, find my future ex-boyfriend.
T: To be pushed outside my comfort
zone and to meet London’s version
of Jake Gyllenhaal. Failing that, a free
meal and a giggle.
What were your first impressions?
I: Not my type physically, but by no
means an unattractive guy. He was very
polite and welcoming, too.
T: Ian was confident and friendly, and
he had a good smile.
How different was he to your usual type?
I: I always seem to end up with Italians.
He wasn’t Italian.
T: Prettier than my usual type, more
preened. He looked immaculate but I
tend to go for people a bit rougher (all
offence meant to my exes).
Would you have swiped left or right?
I: Left.
T: Right.
How was the conversation and what
did you talk about?
I: Great. We had a lot in common. We
chatted about his book club and the
books we’ve both read recently. Then we
spent time trying to spot other people
on dates and hypothesised about how
theirs were going.
T: Great chat — we talked about Julia
Davis, cheese and books.
What was the most interesting thing
about him?
I: That he is part of a gay book club
(that I’m trying to weasel my way into).
T: His ability to have three books on
the go at once.
How was the food?
I: Tom is a vegetarian but I had the
sirloin steak and it was phenomenal.
126 MAY 2019
IAN, 35, GLOBAL
MOBILITY
CONSULTANT
T: For a meat restaurant, the veggie
options were good.
What was his best quality?
I: His sense of humour. That’s a quality
that I rate very highly.
T: Caustic wit. He was very funny and
confident, and that’s something I find
incredibly engaging. It felt he knew
what he wanted, and where he was
going in life.
What did you make of his dress sense?
I: Pleasant — who doesn’t love a
billowy shirt?
T: I assumed he had come straight
from the Tour de France.
What do you think he thought of you?
I: That I have a good sense of humour.
T: That I’m Alan Partridge Jr.
What were you most worried he would
notice about you?
I: That I’m a terrible human being.
T: That I’d spilt water on myself.
Any awkward moments?
I: Only the photo and having to put on
my terrible “forced photo smile.” I was
actually laughing and smiling until
the photographer showed up!
T: The waitress said, “I hope you aren’t
a vegetarian.” I am.
Were there any deal-breakers?
I: I knew from the outset that we weren’t
a dating match but from a friendship
point of view there were no deal
breakers.
TOM, 30, PA
T: His chapstick addiction. Chapstick
to him is like drinking custard to
Vanessa Feltz.
How did the night end?
I: We ordered an extra bottle of wine
and kept chatting utter nonsense. Tom
was kind enough to escort me home
and tolerate me taking pictures of
gaudy architecture en route.
T: With photos of architecture. He
wanted to take some photos of a RATE
building opposite the restaurant THE
and then we walked up to the train DATE
station. We’d swapped numbers in
the restaurant.
7/10
What would you have changed about
the night?
I: Nothing. I value meeting someone
who I can really get along with as a
friend.
T: Only receiving one free bottle of
6/10
wine!
Snog, marry, avoid?
I: Marry — married people don’t have
sex anyway. We’d have a great time
bickering at a timeshare in Benidorm
when we’re 65.
T: None of the above. But I will bring IF YOU’D LIKE
him to my gay book club. TO BE CONSIDERED
FOR TABLE FOR
Will you meet again? TWO, EMAIL:
THOMAS.STICHBURY
I: One hundred per cent. I’d love to @ATTITUDE.CO.UK
hang out again and, as I mentioned,
book club…
T: Only as friends...
 social

BUDDY BRILLIANT
In a celebration of queer friendship, we ask best
mates some telling questions and find out just
how well they really know each other
Ryan and Alex met last summer when, after flirting online, Alex cancelled
their first date, instead opting for a “sympathy meet-up” sometime after. That
blossomed into friendship. “Ryan is everything you could ask for in a gay best ALEX, 29, ASSISTANT RYAN, 24,
PSYCHOLOGIST DESIGNER
friend,” says Alex. “He’s a good listener, always has wine in the fridge, and is
never going to pull focus away from me in photos together.” Aww.

ALEX ON RYAN RYAN ON ALEX

1

George (but less “prince”, more “princess”). What’s his middle James.
CORRECT! name? CORRECT!

I know it was younger than when At what age did he A late bloomer — 23ish?
I came out… 15? come out? HALF A POINT! One year off: “22 to friends,
HALF A POINT! CLOSE, 16 26 to family”
3

I’m sure it was David. What was the name of Dan

CORRECT! his first boyfriend? WRONG! “Sebastian; we dated for
less than three months”
4

If you Google the word twink, it redirects you What’s his He’d say wolf although I say jock.
to Ryan’s Instagram page. gay tribe? HALF A POINT! For knowing it but still getting it not right.
CORRECT! “Ryan will say twunk but I meet the criteria for wolf”
5

His answer is going to involve sex, I’m sure of it. What’s his most Let’s just say he almost pulled someone who may or
HALF A POINT! “The first time I experienced that pain embarrassing may not have looked way older than they actually were.
when it goes in a lil’ too quickly. I passed out” moment? HALF A POINT! “I traded handjobs with a 17 year old.”
6

I’ll say Tom Daley, but 10 years from now. Who’s his biggest Whoever is on the homepage of Pornhub Premium.
CORRECT! celebrity crush? They’re celebrities in his eyes.
WRONG! “Ryan Gosling in his Crazy Stupid Love days”
7

This will sound cheesy, but I don’t think he has any. What’s his most He cracks his neck with his mouth wide open and the
WRONG! “I click my nails a lot” annoying habit? sound that comes out of his throat… omg.
CORRECT! Crack is whack!
8

The boy can sing… it’s gonna be such a shame What’s his secret Being able to quote every line of Friends.
when his voice finally breaks. talent? WRONG! “People are always surprised that I can cook.
CORRECT! Pretty people aren’t meant to know how to cook”
9

Being told to drink urine. I wish I was making this up. What’s his He took a belt off of a guy in a club once and gave it to
CORRECT! He seems like a real golden boy… secret kink? me to keep. I’m sure that’s indicative of something…
WRONG! “Fooling around in public”
10

Leaving Two Brewers early at 1am after sending me a Where is he most Two Brewers with me.
passive-aggressive goodnight message. likely to be on a CORRECT! “While avoiding that guy
CORRECT! Saturday night? I blocked on Grindr”

IF YOU’D LIKE
ALEX’S IMPRESSIVE MARKS FOR SUCH A SHORT RYAN’S TO BE CONSIDERED
SCORE: FRIENDSHIP — BUT CLEARLY RYAN’S SCORE: FOR BUDDY
BRILLIANT, EMAIL:

8/10 NOT AS GOOD A LISTENER

AS ALEX THINKS! 4.5/10 TIM.HEAP
@ATTITUDE.CO.UK

MAY 2019 127

THE HEART
OF
LGBTQ+
IRELAND
LIVE SHOWS 6 NIGHTS A WEEK
DRAG ACTS | AWARD WINNING VENUE
HUGE DANCE FLOOR | DAY TIME BAR

@THEGEORGEDUBLIN
WWW.THEGEORGE.IE
 Books social

BOOK
OF THE
MONTH

Words
Uli Lenart

Let’s get
physique-l!
History of the
earliest gay-interest
magazines is an
important part of
LGBTQ culture

PROUD
Anthology, compiled by Juno Dawson/Stripes
BUYING GAY: HOW PHYSIQUE ENTREPRENEURS Publishing
SPARKED A MOVEMENT
David K Johnson/Columbia University Press Compiled by Attitude’s Juno Dawson, this is
a vibrant and diverse anthology of stories
An accessible, detailed and riveting journey into the pioneering early gay physique zine and poetry by established and emerging
industry. In 1951, a new type of publication appeared on news stands: the physique young LGBTQ adult authors and new voices.
magazine. For many gay men growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, these images and drawings There has been an explosion of fresh talent
of almost-naked men were a revelation. Working against a climate of censorship and in writing about the experiences of queer
suppression in the pre-Stonewall age, the publishers behind these magazines were part teens in recent years, making it one of the
of a wider world of physique entrepreneurs who ran photography studios, mail-order most innovative and responsive genres in
catalogues, pen-pal services, book clubs and niche advertising for gay audiences. Author publishing today. And this lovingly curated
David K Johnson reveals how the trade — more than just producing iconic, epic images and inspiring collection of writing and
— was an important catalyst for the gay rights movement. This is an indispensable and artwork — exploring the theme of pride — is
fascinating addition to the library of anyone interested in gay culture. Out now a testament to the boundless imagination of
young LGBTQ people. Out now

ALSO
THIS
MONTH

WHO KILLED MY FATHER SPANGLES, GLAM,

Edouard Louis/Harvill Secker GAYWAVES & TUBES
A short, urgent and incredibly Gary James/Book Guild Publishing
articulate essay about love, politics, Charting encounters with the likes
inequality, class, homophobia, of Boy George, Frankie Goes to
masculinity and social poverty Hollywood, Eartha Kitt and Divine,
by one of the most powerful new this is a conversational life memoir
voices in France today. Following on by one of the co-presenters of
from his best-selling novel The End the often-anarchic Eighties music
of Eddy, published when Louis was TV show, The Tube. From a Sixties
22, Who Killed My Father explores childhood in Tunbridge Wells, being
the unspeakable gulf between a gay teenager during the glam rock
fathers and sons and the impact Seventies and working in gay political
of political decision making on the theatre, to the new wave of youth
intimate lives of society’s poorest. culture in punk and disco, this is an
Tender, intense, assured and engaging odyssey through British
poignant. Translated by Lorin Stein. Out now youth subculture. Out now

MAY 2019 129

PECCADILLO PICTURES PRESENTS

A FILM BY CAMILLE VIDAL-NAQUET

WATCH ON DEMAND sauvage.film/watchathome/


Words:
Guy Lodge
3/5
GRETA
Isabelle Huppert, Chloë Grace Moretz,
Maika Monroe, Jeff Hiller
If the idea of Isabelle Huppert as an
elegant but psychotic French piano
teacher terrorising the living shit out of
Chloë Grace Moretz sounds like your
idea of a fine time, here are two pieces of
good news for you. First, you’re probably
gay, and second, Neil Jordan’s perfectly
ridiculous thriller has all the high-
camp hilarity you could possibly hope
for. Mileage may vary, obviously, but
this could be a future drinking-game
classic. 19 April
ALSO
THIS
MONTH
3/5
MID90S
Sunny Suljic, Lucas Hedges
For those who were teenagers in
the mid-Nineties — in our heads,
practically the other day — it’s a bit
disconcerting to see that era as the
setting for a nostalgic period piece.
Life moves pretty fast, to quote a
previous decade’s teen hero. But
Jonah Hill’s directorial debut, a
coming-of-age story focused on a
lonely, skateboarding 13-year-old
misfit, is more tender and disarming
than you might expect. 12 April
4/5
WILD ROSE
Jessie Buckley, Julie Walters
Remember I’ll Do Anything, Andrew
Lloyd Webber’s talent show seeking
a female lead for a West End
production of Oliver? Turns out it
actually found a star. Ten years on,
runner-up Jessie Buckley made
a strong impression in Beast last
year, but it’s in this winning, heart-
clutching tale of a rough-edged
Glasgow country singer with big
dreams that she truly gets to soar.
Watch your back, Gaga. 12 April
Films social
FILM
OF THE
MONTH
Portuguese man of phwoar
Stunning star scores as footballer caught between a
political conspiracy and a cross-dressing lesbian detective
4/5
DIAMANTINO
Carloto Cotta, Cleo Tavares, Anabela Moreira, Margarida Moreira
Critics can be quick to throw this phrase around, but I feel confident in saying you’ve
never seen anything quite like Diamantino. It’s hard to think even of a vague precedent for
this barking mad, flagrantly queer and dizzily hilarious one-off from Portugal: a blend of
science-fiction mystery, romantic comedy and pop satire that just happens to feature a
cannily timed pro-EU political message. All that, and dreamy leading man Carloto Cotta
gets his kit off a lot. His resemblance to Cristiano Ronaldo is no coincidence: he plays a
bling-encrusted football star whose life goes to pieces when he misses a crucial World Cup
penalty, and that’s before he’s targeted by both a sinister right-wing cabal with cloning on
its mind and a cross-dressing lesbian detective looking to bring them down. Running the
gamut from Almodóvar to Zoolander, it’s a daft delight. 10 April
4/5
THE SISTERS BROTHERS
Joaquin Phoenix, John C. Reilly, Jake Gyllenhaal, Riz Ahmed, Carol Kane, Rutger Hauer
Black-comic westerns, it seems, are like the proverbial London buses: you wait ages for
one, then two come along at once. OK, maybe you weren’t waiting for one at all. Either
way, between this and the Coen Brothers’ Ballad of Buster Scruggs on Netflix, we’re all set.
And that’s no bad thing because this all-star oddity from French director Jacques Audiard
(his first English-language film)
is an unexpected pleasure, full
of cockeyed wit and bitter-sweet
pathos. It also confirms John C Reilly
as one of our best character actors.
He’s on peak form as one of two
assassin brothers — the other being
Joaquin Phoenix, on pleasingly
low-key form — on the trail of a
marked prospector at the height of
the Gold Rush. The shaggy-dog plot
is secondary to the actors’ crackling
banter and chemistry. 5 April
MAY 2019 131
social Music

Words:
James Barr

THE BEST –
BAR NONE

Slayyyter

Remember when you thought

that hot barman serving you was
gay and you’d already named the
children you were gonna have, then Tamta

he went and ruined it by calling you

“boss”? Repress such memories
with my fave new songs, which are

off the homo-scale. Check out St.
Louis-based singer Slayyyter. Gay
Twitter’s latest obsession used to
be a receptionist but decided to
redefine 2019’s “boredom-pop”
with tacky, trashy and totally gay
tune Mine.
If the Cock Destroyers
launched a pop career, it would
sound like this.
If you wanna be iced-coffee
cool, listen to rising star Boy
Radio’s track Trust, which slams
fuck boys and promotes the
power of intimacy. Hear, hear.
Ooh, she’s sweet but a bit
manic, sometimes needy and
triggered by blue ticks, no reply...
my new bio. The year’s most
exciting new pop star Ava Max is
back with another relatable mood.
So Am I promotes inclusivity and
acceptance on every level: “It’s
OK to be different, because baby
so am I.”
Queen Carly Rae Jepsen is back
in our lives as well. Now That I
Found You is the perfect follow-up
to Party For One.
Although it’s probably about
meeting a boy, I like to think that at
least some of the lyrics are actually
about fighting depression and
finding yourself.
Tel tale
James Barr has the lowdown
on the best songs you’ll hear at
this year’s Eurovision in Tel Aviv
Gay Christmas is almost here and,
to celebrate, I’ve compiled the
perfect Eurovision playlist to fly
all your flags to.
If you’re still obsessed with last
year’s unofficial winner Fuego, by
Eleni Foureira (and her incredible
hairography), then rejoice: Cyprus
are back and about to take you
“higher ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah.”
Tamta’s entry, Replay, is all the
emojis.
It was written and produced
by the same people behind
Foureira’s hit — which is why it
sounds like Fuego 2.0 — and it’s
already getting so many plays
you’ve probably bopped to it
without realising.
Sweden are sending
a song so epic it’s giving “Who cares about the
us The Greatest Showman
vibes. John Lundvik’s Too
music? I’m here for the
Late For Love features a EU-passport-holding
gospel choir, a huge key
change and is dripping with
drama.
I’m pretty here for the
Netherlands, too, with Duncan
Laurence’s haunting anthem,
Arcade, the favourite to snatch the
crown. But who really cares about
the music? I’m here for the EU-
Luca Hänni passport-holding hotties!
Get ready to thirst over
Switzerland’s THOT boy Luca
Hänni *drool*. Luca and Helene
Fischer’s Bei Mir is defo a non-bop
(sorry), but the mid-performance
shirt rip is getting my full douze
points, if you know what I mean.
Meanwhile, topless daddy
Sergey Lazarev, from Azerbaijan,
Sergey Lazarev
is what XXL dreams are made
of, and Mahmood,
representing Italy,
recently came out against
the discrimination faced
by gay men in Italy and
hotties” Egypt. So hot.

132 MAY 2019

 social

LITERATI

POLARI
Filmmaker and activist Dustin Lance
Black will be live on stage at London’s
Southbank Centre on 10 June. He’ll
be discussing his memoir Mama’s Boy,
reflecting on growing up Mormon in
Texas, where being gay was a crime.
The evening, hosted by founder Paul
Burston, will also feature authors
Collin Kelly, Kelleigh Greenberg-
Jephcott and Angela Chadwick.

southbankcentre.co.uk

THEATRE

TUMULUS
Guaranteed to have you on the
edge of your seat, this murder
mystery is set against London’s
gay scene. When a body is
discovered on Hampstead Heath,
everyone assumes the victim is a
casualty of the chemsex culture.
But when a second victim is

3
found, it becomes clear that it’s

Things
something more sinister. The play
runs at London’s Soho Theatre

to see
from 16 April until 4 May.

HOMO
sohotheatre.com
…at the 16th Dublin
International Gay Theatre
festival, 6-19 May, as the
curtain rises on 20 plays

FOMO
spread across four different
venues in the Irish capital

1// GOING FOR IT

Party Boy (Players Theatre, 6-11
QUEER THEATRE, FESTIVALS, EXHIBITIONS AND MORE May) A true story inspired by
Ireland’s first international go-go
dancer as he swaps the Emerald
for the European sex-club
uit.
GOT THE LOT
o (Pearse Centre, 13-18 May)
DRAG
t do you get the man who has
PEACHES CHRIST’S ything? This is the question
DRAG BECOMES HER mac asks himself when he
Jinx Monsoon and BenDeLaCreme mbles out of an STI clinic after
give camp classic Death Becomes g told he has the “full house.”
Her a drag makeover. Jinx takes OSING THEIR RELIGION
on the role of actress Madeline astic (Teachers Club Studio,
Ashton (played by Meryl Streep 8 May) Meet Jack, Ian and
in the 1992 original), while Ben ry, young apprentices in
tackles “hole-some” writer Helen. nary struggling on the path
The production begins a UK tour at alvation because their pesky
HOME in Manchester on 8 May. uality keeps getting in the way.

gaytheatre.ie
homemcr.org

MAY 2019 133

 So Jin wears suit and
trousers, by ASOS,
top by Cottweiler

“HOW IS SHE THOUGH? STUN”

136 Wardrobe 137 Watch 138 Light Speed 148 Crush

150 Ted Baker 154 Cool For The Summer 162 Favourite Things

MAY 2019 135

 1 3

4
w. a . r. d . r. o . b . e
STAYING IN

5
Sometimes a weekend indoors
is just what the doctor ordered,
so make sure you have all the
essentials you need for
the perfect night in
Edit & words
Nick Byam

1 // Navy underwear, £28, by CDG Shirt Underwear x Sunspel

at Dover Street Market
2 // Detoxifying face mask, £18, by Harry’s x Heyday
3 // Medusa cotton-towelling robe, £480, by Versace at Matches Fashion
4 // Batman-printed lounge trousers, £18, by Jacamo
5 // Navy vest, £30, by CDG Shirt Underwear x Sunspel
at Dover Street Market
6 // PlayStation 4 Pro, £349, by Sony at Currys PC World
7 // Logo stretch cotton-blend socks, £50, by Off-White at MR PORTER
8 // Lime & bay signature candle, £20, by The White Company

7
8

136 MAY 2019

 STYLE

. .
Words Joseph Kocharian

AHEAD OF ITS TIME

In the age of the smart watch, we’ve become
accustomed to asking a lot from our
timepieces. So, the Louis Vuitton Tambour
Horizon watch has a range of clever features
to keep you entertained, including fun options
that allow you to personalise the dial. The
digital mode enables you to embellish your
watch face with some of LV’s favourite motifs
while contrasting bands mean you have an
almost infinite number of combinations.
With an emphasis on travel, the watch
keeps all your travel info in one place. It
syncs with your hotel, flight or train
bookings and gives you departure
and arrival times as well as essential
travel information, including
city guide functions for 30
international destinations.
Other features include colour
segments designating your
meetings and free time, 24
time zones, step counters,
a weather and temperature
guide and pollution and air
quality indexes.
Price: from £2,595.

louisvuitton.com
light
speed
Shimmer and shine bright
Photography Olivier Yoan
Fashion Joseph Kocharian

Jacob wears jumpsuit,

by Mert & Marcus 1994
x Dsquared2
Jacob wears hooded
jacket, by Louis Vuitton

MAY 2019 139

 Jacob wears sleeveless
leather jacket, by Diesel,
leather trousers,
by Belstaff

140 MAY 2019

Jacob wears blazer,
by Emporio Armani
Jacob wears top,
by Versace
 Jacob wears top and
trousers, both by
Mert & Marcus 1994
x Dsquared2

MAY 2019 143

 Jacob wears trousers,
by Dsquared2

144 MAY 2019

Jacob wears top and
trousers, both by
Mert & Marcus 1994
x Dsquared2
Jacob wears shirt,
shorts and jacket,
all by Dior
MODEL Jacob Hankin at Next
Management London
HAIR Sven Bayerbach at Carol Hayes
Management, using Murdoch London
MAKE-UP Yin Lee, using Clinique
FASHION ASSISTANT Josefina Martin
PHOTOGRAPHY ASSISTANT
Dragos Czinjepolsch
LOCATION with thanks to
Shutter House Studio

MAY 2019 147

STYLE

WHAT’S HOT, SELFRIDGES?

The big yellow house has a whole range of brands which are
exclusive to Selfridges, so grab them before it’s too late

1 Lip bar cotton jersey/hoodie, £60, by Daido Moriyama

2 Pure love cotton cap, £30, by Corella LDN
3 Graphic print cotton jacket, £685, by Tigran Avetisyan
4 Logo-print cotton jersey/t-shirt, £40, by Tyrrell Winston
5 Tie-dye velvet bomber jacket, £275, by True Religion
6 Rainbow-striped cotton jogging bottoms, £470, by Thom Browne

selfridges.com

c.r.u.s.h Words Nick Byam

148 MAY 2019

 THE NEW
ARRIVAL

SLINGSBY
Y

GOOSEBERRY GIN

Only the freshest Yorkshire gooseberries bring that unmistakable

WDQJ\VKDUSQHVVWHPSHUHGZLWKDVZHHWIUXLW\ˋQLVK

facebook.com/slingsbysocial spiritofharrogate.co.uk @slingsbysocial

 Mark wears floral
cotton shirt, £69, wool
suit trousers, £159,
wool suit jacket
(in hand), £359, leather
shoes, £130
Mark wears cotton Photography Martin D Barker
polo shirt, £69 Fashion Nick Byam

Fa b u l o u s
Baker Boy
The handsome Mark
Foster talks about
his latest Ted Baker
collection, T for Tall
Being a tall man, what part of your wardrobe did you struggle with
most before this collection?
Mostly with sleeve and body length. To make it feel as though the
top fitted correctly, I had to wear XXL and it just swamped me in the
body. I always felt as though I had to wear tops untucked as I could
never tuck them in (even if I wanted to) and roll the sleeves up so
people could see they were not too short. It was a bit cold in winter
and a nightmare with shirts.
Do you think playing sport professionally and gaining a swimmer’s
physique helped or hindered you when it came to the fit of clothes?
I guess it helped, wide shoulders and slim waist, so I looked a bit like
a clothes hanger. But being big in the shoulders sometimes meant
a top would be tight round the back and chest, but hey, that’s not a
bad problem to have.
What’s your favourite piece in the current collection?
I love the Lenntt blue bomber. It’s a classic style with small details
— check out the lining. It’s great with a white tee or shirt although
you can’t beat a Ted print, so maybe jazz things up, put one of them
on underneath.
How was it doing a photoshoot with fellow sportsman, footballer Peter
Crouch?
We had a real laugh. There was lots of banter, we’ve got lots in
common and know lots of the same people. He is also just the nicest
bloke, and he’s taller than me — only by an inch (careful!)
Who’s the better model out of the two of you?
Well, I’ve been doing it for a few years, but his wife Abbey (Clancey)
has been teaching him some moves. Let’s just say we need to sort
this out in a walk off.
152 MAY 2019
Do you have any tips for a tall guy who wants to dress well?
I try to avoid stripes. We are long enough already, so we don’t need
any help in exaggerating that. I like to dress classic, it never dates
and always looks smart. You can just chuck in some colour and
print with it.
Are there any key pieces, must haves or staples from the T for Tall
collection that people should start with?
It depends on people’s taste but they always say to me that it’s so
nice feeling you can just pick something off the peg, especially
when it comes to a work or special-occasion suit. I have so many
of my swimming and rowing mates who are tall and are made up
by the range and that Ted decided to do it. It has solved so many
problems for “us tall folk.”
You came out as gay in 2017, how has your life changed?
It just all became a bit easier. The fact that I can tell the truth about
my life, what I’ve been up to at the weekends and who my partner
is. I went through a lot of years telling half-truths and lies just so no
one would know what I was doing. It’s so liberating to have one life
rather than two. 
Do you feel a responsibility as an LGBTQ role model?
Only that I felt it was important to come out and be visible as a gay
man. But for anyone coming out, it’s always a personal thing and
you have to be comfortable and at ease with yourself first. After
that I felt it was important to come out publicly, especially as a
sportsman because there are still issues about sport and being gay.
And for my emotional and mental health, it was the best thing I
have ever done.
 Mark wears bomber
jacket, £189, branded
t-shirt, £39, cotton chino
shorts, £69

ALL CLOTHES BY TED BAKER

T FOR TALL
tedbaker.com
HAIR AND GROOMING Rom
Sartipi, using Oribe and MAC
FASHION ASSISTANT
Josefina Martin
PHOTOGRAPHY ASSISTANT
Kadaré Aliu
 C O O L F O R T H E S U M M E R

So Jin wears
all clothing, by
Primark

The best of this season’s tailoring

Photography Martin D Barker

Fashion Nick Byam

154 MAY 2019

 So Jin wears
all clothing and
trainers, by M&S
Collection

MAY 2019 155

 So Jin wears shirt,
by Parc, trousers, by
PS by Paul Smith

156 MAY 2019

So Jin wears
all clothing and
accessories,,
by Burton

MAY 2019 157

 So Jin wears blazer, by ASOS,
blazer (worn underneath), by
Uniqlo, vest, by Raf Simons at
Matches Fashion,
shorts, by Lanvin

158 MAY 2019

So Jin wears all
clothing, by Primark

MAY 2019 159

 So Jin wears
all clothing and
accessories, by Burton

160 MAY 2019

 So Jin wears suit, by
Parc, boots, by Hunter

HAIR AND GROOMING Rom

Sartipi, using Oribe and MAC
MODEL So Jin, at Next Model
Management
FASHION ASSISTANT
Josefina Martin
PHOTOGRAPHY ASSISTANT
Kadaré Aliu

STOC K I STS
A Acne Studios at MR PORTER mrporter.com
AMI amiparis.com
Amiri at Selfridges selfridges.com
ASOS asos.com
B Balmain balmain.com
Belstaff belstaff.co.uk
Burton burton.co.uk
C Calvin Klein calvinklein.co.uk
CDG Shirt Underwear x Sunspel at Dover Street
Market doverstreetmarket.com
Champion championstore.com
Comme Des Garcon Shirt at Matches Fashion
matchesfashion.com
Converse converse.com
Corella LDN at Selfridges selfridges.com
Cottweiler at Matches Fashion matchesfashion.com
Currys PC World currys.co.uk
D Daido Moriyama at Selfridges selfridges.com
Diesel uk.diesel.com
Dior dior.com
Dsquared2 dsquared2.com
E Emporio Armani armani.com
F Fendi at Matches Fashion matchesfashion.com
Fendi fendi.com/gb
G Gucci at MR PORTER mrporter.com
H Harry’s x Heyday harrys.com
Humanity Cosmetics humanitycosmetics.com
Hunter hunterboots.com
J Jacamo jacamo.co.uk
K Kiehl’s kiehls.co.uk
L Lanvin lanvin.com
Lee Jeans uk.lee.com
Levi’s levi.com
Louis Vuitton louisvuitton.com
M M&S Collection marksandspencer.com
Maison Margiela at MR PORTER mrporter.com
Mert & Marcus 1994 x Dsquared2 dsquared2.com
Moschino moschino.com
N Nike nike.com
O Off-White at MR PORTER mrporter.com
P Palm Angels at Selfridges selfridges.com
Parc parclondon.com
Primark primark.com
PS by Paul Smith paulsmith.com
Puma at Sockshop sockshop.co.uk
R Raf Simons at Matches Fashion
matchesfashion.com
Ron Dorff rondorff.com
Rufskin rufskin.com
T Ted Baker tedbaker.com
The Kooples thekooples.co.uk
The White Company thewhitecompany.com/uk
Thom Browne at Selfridges selfridges.com
Tigran Avetisyan at Selfridges selfridges.com
True Religion at Selfridges selfridges.com
Tyrrell Winston at Selfridges selfridges.com
U Uniqlo uniqlo.com/uk
V Versace at Matches Fashion matchesfashion.com
Versace versace.com
Y Y/Project at Matches Fashion
matchesfashion.com

MAY 2019 161

STYLE
WHO IS ON
YOUR WISH
LIST TO STYLE?
Bucket-list wise, I’ve ticked
off a lot: Kylie, numerous
Spice Girls, Armie Hammer,
Channing Tatum. Brad Pitt is
always on the list, maybe
St Vincent, too. She’s mega
WHICH ATTITUDE COV
THAT YOU WORKED ON
DO YOU LIKE BEST?
David Beckham is the
most iconic cover I did
during my
10-year
tenure
at the
magazine.
stands the
test of tim
Top RuPaul contesta
This is one of the hard
questions I’ve ever ha
answer but I really LO
Alaska and Alyssa Edw
Favourite celebrity
you’ve styled?
I worked with the
[American Horror Story]
actor Cody Fern (above)
recently and I loved his
genuine excitement and
enthusiasm for fashion.
I felt the same way
about Timothée
Chalamet
162 MAY 2019
Top place to escape?
Apart from my bed? I’m
a creature of habit and
I return constantly to
Tulum in Mexico
What’s the nicest
thing in your wardrobe
at the moment?
A leather jacket,
but not just one.
My favourites are
f om Balenciaga
and Coach
O YOU HAVE A
REND THAT YOU
OVE RIGHT NOW?
on’t really do trends, I
t do moods. Right now,
m high-vibing a 1970’s
New York cowboy hustler
going to Mineshaft, the
Favourite T hings infamous sex club
Luke Day
Words Joseph Kocharian
Luke Day is the editor of GQ Style, fashion director
MAIN IMAGE KOSMAS PAVLOS / INSETS INSTAGRAM
of British GQ and a former fashion director at
Attitude. Along with being a super stylist, he’s often
in front of the camera, being snapped at fashion
week. Whether it be a cowboy hat, short shorts, Tom Who is your
of Finland leather looks or a Gianni Versace print,
he’s fully committed to fashion
pop diva?
There have been a few
along the way but it
@luke_jefferson_day always comes back
to Madonna