Dr

B White
Neurosurgeon
City Hospital
Newtown

05/07/2014

Dear Dr. White,
Re: Mr. George Poulos

I am writing to refer Mr. Poulos, a 45-year-old stockbroker,
who has been suffering from progressive, low back pain
suggestive of a disc-related disorder associated with
radiculopathy.

Mr. Poulos is married with four children. As a result of
having a sedentary lifestyle, he is currently overweight.
Please note that he is allergic to an unspecific radiographic
contrast agent as well as pethidine and penicillin. 5/3/19 12:38 PM
Comment [1]: This is an uncountable
noun so is not used in the plural form.
Two weeks ago, Mr. Poulos presented initially with a two- 5/3/19 12:36 PM
day-history of sudden, severe, localized, mid-lower back Deleted: s

soreness after lifting heavy logs, which resulted in inability 5/3/19 12:39 PM
Deleted:
to walk along with being locked in a semi-flexed position. On
examination, there was loss of lumbar lordosis; moreover,
flexion and extension of the back were limited by the pain.
Consequently, sick leave and a painkiller were 5/3/19 12:40 PM
recommended. Comment [2]: This is an uncountable
noun so is not used with the singular article
‘a/an’.
Unfortunately, Mr. Poulos’ condition has been deteriorating 5/3/19 12:39 PM
Deleted: a
over the last week. Today, he came complaining of worse
pain radiating to his right leg, accompanied by a tingling
sensation over his right calf, and reported being immobile.
Objectively, the range of his movement was remarkably
decreased; the straight leg raise test was reduced to be 70
and 50 in the left and right legs respectively, and the action
of lumbar flexion was almost lost. In addition to the absence
 of a right ankle reflex, a light touch sensation was lost over 5/3/19 12:45 PM
his lateral distal calf and his planter aspect of the foot. Deleted: has

In view of the information above, I would be grateful if you
could assess his condition considering a request for an MRI
scan and a possibility of surgery. Should you have any
queries, please contact me.

Yours sincerely,

Doctor
Writing Feedback

Needs
Overall Task Fulfillment Strong Average Revie
w
Introduction structure and focus ✓
Body paragraphs//organisation- //planning//word length ✓
Conclusion- ✓
Needs
Comprehension of Stimulus Strong Average Revie
w
Focus on main issue ✓
Omits non-relevant information- ✓
Accurate content ✓
Ability to summarise & paraphrase ✓
Needs
Appropriateness of Language Strong Average Revie
w
Formal//objective style ✓
Expands on medical acronyms//case notes ✓
Use of signal words- ✓
Needs
Control of Linguistic Features Strong Average Revie
w
Verb use ✓
 Use of Articles//pronouns// prepositions//plural/singular
✓
form
Sentence structure: compound & complex sentences- look to
✓
continue to maintain your range of complex structures
Word form & choice (nouns//verbs//adjectives//phrasal
✓
verbs)
Needs
Control of Presentation Features Strong Average Revie
w
Letter format ✓
Spelling//Capitals//Punctuation- review comma usage in lists
✓
of adjectives/nouns

Overall Grade: B

Ahmed,
This is a really positive place to begin the work together. You are demonstrating sound
accuracy with most of your structures, despite some minor, scattered errors. Try and
minimize these areas and continue to challenge your sentence complexity to show your
range. Have a look at the corrections and feel free to contact me if you have any
questions. Remember there are many items on your review list which can be found in
the Grammar Clinic on the OET online website.




Relative clauses
http://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/en/english-grammar/pronouns/relative-
pronouns
http://www.perfect-english-grammar.com/relative-clauses-exercise-4.html
http://speakspeak.com/english-grammar-exercises/intermediate/relative-pronouns-
who-which-that-whose-when-where

Participle clauses
http://www.perfect-english-grammar.com/participle-clauses-exercise-1.html
https://english.lingolia.com/en/grammar/sentences/participle-
clauses/exercises
https://elt.oup.com/student/solutions/int/grammar/grammar_10_012e?cc=glo
bal&selLanguage=en