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Chorus 1: I heard this place was very good.
Chorus 2: I know, right? The newspaper gave this Chinese restaurant a five star rating.
Apparently, the owner, Yao Qian, brought it up from a two star rating up to a five star!
Chorus 1: Wow, the owner must really be something.

Waiter: May I take your order?

Chorus 1: Um, Iƞll have the fried rice.

Chorus 2: Iƞll take the lo-mien.

Waiter: Iƞll be right back with your order.


 
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Chorus 2: Even though this place is five star, it doesnƞt really look like it.
I heard that recently the ownerƞs trying to cut costs.
Chorus 1: Really? That doesnƞt sound like a smart plan. Wonƞt the rating fall then?
Chorus 2: I guess so. A criticƞs supposed to come in later today and rate the restaurant.


 
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Waiter: Here is your fried rice and lo-mien.

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Chorus 1: This doesnƞt look like what I ordered.

Waiter: I assure you sir, it is.

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Chorus 1: This food is disgusting! It tastes like something I could buy from Wal-Mart!
Chorus 2: I concur! Letƞs leave!


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Owner: Oh, I see another two satisfied customers leaving.

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Owner: Excellent, I suppose my master plan to cut costs has worked. No one has yet noticed
the fact I have replaced all of my ingredients with generic store-bought items and fired most of
my staff. Iƞm getting more profit than ever before!

Waiter: Are you sure about that, sir?

Owner: Donƞt you give me lip, boy!

Waiter: Please donƞt berate me, sir! The truth is, every customer has noticed. Every customer
has complained about the quality of the ingredients.

Owner: Youƞre getting a pay cut! How dare you disparage my actions! These ingredients are
perfectly fine!


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Owner: Hey you, Head Chef, come over here.

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Head Chef: What is it, sir? Is everything all right?

Owner: Is everything ready for the critic?

Head Chef: Of course, sir, your Ơfineơ ingredients are all prepared.

Owner: Excellent!
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Critic: Iƞm here. WHERE IS THE WAITER?!

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Waiter: Hello sir, here is your menu.

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Critic: What do you recommend, peasant?

Waiter: I recommend the noodles, sir.

Critic: In that case, I wonƞt take it. Give me the pork dumplings, and make it quick.

Waiter: Oh, of course.


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Waiter: One serving of pork dumplings for our special guest.

Head Chef: Wait! Yao didn't get any pork this week! I can't make those!

Waiter: Great. Fine, Iƞll tell him that weƞre out.

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Waiter: Sorry sir, we're out of pork dumplings.

Critic: Out of pork dumplings? What kind of Asian restaurant is this?

Waitier: Then what do you want instead, your highness?

Critic: What? How dare you speak to me in that recalcitrant tone? I demand to speak to your
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Head Chef: Is there a problem?

Critic: How dare you imply there is a problem! I demand to speak to YOUR superior!!

 



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Owner: What is it?

Critic: Your employees are mouthing off to me.

Owner: Iƞm sorry sir. What would you like to order?

Critic: Hmmm. Surprise me.


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Owner: He said to surprise him.

Head Chef: I heard. Do you think Iƞm deaf?

Owner: All right, all right. Just be sure to use the best ingredients we have.

Head Chef: But sir, are you sure we should use the ingredients we have right now? The best
thing we have are $5 noodles from wal-mart!

Owner: Itƞll be fine.

Head Chef: Maybe if you werenƞt so frugal and greedy, we would have better ingredients to
use. With our $5 noodles, we might not please him.

Owner: Oh well. As long as I make a profit.

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Critic: This looks absolutely horrible! In soviet Russia, this food will be fed to prisoners!
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Critic: This food is absolutely disgusting! I give this place 1 star!
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Critic: I demand to see the filthy kitchen you fools use!


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Waiter: Oh dear... We haven't hired a janitor in weeks because of Yao's stupid cuts... Not even
a mop or a bar of soap was bought this month... Also, I've heard people complain about stains
on their plates and bugs in their drinks... I hope it goes okay in there...


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Critic: Do you call this place a restaurant? How did you even get five, let alone ONE star with
such poor sanitation! How did you ever get these ratings? Did you bribe goats? Expect this
place to be closed down by tomorrow! Iƞm out of this dump!!


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Owner: What did you do to the food? And the kitchen, how did you mess it up?

Head Chef: I didnƞt do anything!! It was your horrible ingredients and stupid budget cuts that
made him leave!

Owner: What? Iƞm the owner! You canƞt just talk to me this way! You got us one star! Iƞll kill
you!

Head Chef: Hah! Without my cooking skills, you'd have been crawling on the ground looking for
pennies!

Owner: How dare you! If I hadn't cut our budget you'd have no salary in this economic crisis!

Head Chef: That's because you save all of it on our non-existent bank account "in case of
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Owner: Oh, youƞre gonna have an emergency soon!

Head Chef: Is that a threat?

Owner: YEAH, it was! Youƞre in so much trouble!


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Waiter: Oh my god! The owner was so angry, he grabbed a butcher knife and tried to kill the
head chef! The head chef tried to defend himself, but got his arm cut off in the process. As
blood spurted everywhere, the chef managed to grab a pot of boiling oil and dump it on the
ownerƞs head. As his face began to burn, he grabbed a meat hook off a table and skewered the
chef though the stomach. He then yanked it out forcefully and continuously stabbed the head
chef while screaming out in pain from the burns. The head chef, in his last moments, lit a
match and set the entire kitchen on fire! Then the owner finally stopped, leaving the head chef
to slowly bleed out and burn.


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Chorus 1: Yaoƞs joyful journey of rising to the top and being able to see it all is finally over. The
journey downwards is inevitable. However, a calm, gradual, downwards journey does not lie
ahead. Instead, he stands at the top so high not even being able to see where he might land if
he were to jump. He has no choice but to abandon the precipice and take his plummet. If he
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does not go now he will succumb to the simple action of accomplishing nothing and not
progressing forward.

Chorus 2: No one can retrace their footprints by walking in them once again, they may only
turn and look at them, either feeling proud or regretful about their footprintƞs impact. Yao was
lured into a mirage off the trail and soon was not thinking about anything but getting to a
misguiding attraction. He did not turn to look back at his footsteps, he did not turn to look at
any sign of danger, his entire attention was devoted to reaching his goal, even if he had to
slaughter three innocent children along the way, he would reach it no matter what the costs.


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Owner: Hey, boy, hold the knife will you? Iƞm too important to hold that dirty thing. Plus, I need
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Chorus 1: Oh, Yao. Please donƞt hurt us! Weƞve been regular customers since this place opened,
and weƞve brought you fame and fortune.
Chorus 2: Weƞve always loved your-
Owner: Silence! IƞLL KILL YOU!

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Owner: If only I hadnƞt been so greedy this wouldnƞt have happened. Now I am a wanted man!
What to do, what to do? The police are outside and the kitchen is on fire! My reputation is
ruined!

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Owner: Get out! Leave me be!


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Owner: So... this is the ultimate consequence that has sprouted from my simple stinginess. If
only I wasn't such a fool that loved money over everything else. What am I going to do now?
Oh the chef... Oh, the waiter... There is no way I can progress further in my life with this guilt
pinning me down. I will be eaten alive until there is nothing left in me. I guess there is only one
thing to do then...


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Chorus 1: The downfall ended almost as soon as it started. The brisk moment of downfall
flashed by so quickly it ceased to exist even as a memory. He fell countless miles down from
the peak that neared the gods until he landed where he could not even see half the distance
from which he fell. Nonetheless, he did not have any time to look, because the impact of the
fall was too great for him. He could not get back up no matter how much he struggled. Yao was
a bird that flew too high and thought he had it all, until his wings began to melt and led to his
fall.

Chorus 2: Yaoƞs over-ambition and greed led to his ultimate demise. He never considered all the
factors as he had in his rise; the only thing he cared about was money. If he could decide
between three wishes and a dollar bill, he would take the dollar bill even if one of the wishes
could be used for more money. Yao was a hungry tiger that kills on sight, completely forgetting
about his surroundings, completely focused on snatching the prey. But the truth was, a
ravenous dinosaur stood right over where he lay, waiting for an opportunity to strike. And as
the tiger made its leap, the dinosaur intercepted him, pinning him to the ground. The tiger lay
there so close to his prey that he could even smell the blood right beneath his nose, and by
nightfall he decomposed into the ground, leaving not a single trace behind.
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