Etiquette in Japan – From a Western Perspective

I remember my first visit to Japan.

Travelling from the city to rural areas, I was awed by beautiful landscapes,
stunning architecture and a sense of balance and symmetry that blew me away, but
what brought me back to Japan to stay was the hospitality, grace and etiquette I
experienced from Japanese people while I was travelling through different prefectures.
After my initial exploration and subsequent decision to stay, I decided to dig a little
deeper into Japanese culture. What is behind the mysterious calm, composure and
sense of peace that can be seen in Japanese society? Why does etiquette and manners
play such an important role in this society?
The roots and foundations of any modern-day culture can be traced back through the
centuries. Buddhist and Shinto beliefs were introduced to Japan from Korea and China
in the mid 500’s and by the early 1000’s the Japanese Samurai Warrior class had taken
Zen Buddhism and introduced the concepts, beliefs and practices of the religion
bringing a strict code of conduct that was incorporated into everyday life.
The idea of being at one with
nature and ‘Wa’ meaning
harmony are important
principles behind Buddhism
and the way in which people
interacted with each other
during that era supported
positive relationships in order
to maintain peace and
harmony. In a hierarchical
society where every action was
observed and, in some cases,
could mean life or death if the
established code of conduct
was ignored- etiquette became
a foundation of that society.
Fast forward a few thousand
years and we can see that much
of Japan’s modern day attitudes, behaviour and etiquette come from a sense of
harmony, belonging, community and family which has its roots in religious practices
that continue to have an influence on modern day society.
In his book, Cultural Code Words, Boye Lafette De Mente refers to Japanese etiquette
in a chapter called Akanukeshita which means to make clean or what is left after dirt
has been removed. Lafette De Mente argues that traditional etiquette has gone too
far in Japanese culture, divorcing itself from ‘moral or humane’ feeling with etiquette
and manner replacing morality.
Whilst this is an interesting – if not
cynical perspective, the idea that
etiquette and grace in Japan is a ‘façade’
or a cover that masks underlying
tensions, may be a very western way of
seeing things.
Western culture, in the main promotes
and encourages people to speak up, or
say what is on one’s mind. It is less
service orientated and geared towards
individuality. Even in western culture,
there are still varying degrees as to what
is acceptable within this, but overall
westerners are more individualistic. Whilst being conscious to avoid stereotypes, I
would say that Americans are viewed as being confident speakers and take a more
direct approach in their interactions. I am from the UK and whilst many people believe
that British people are more refined in their conduct and interactions in comparison to
Americans, our everyday exchanges and the way we conduct ourselves in comparison
to Japanese culture is more direct and less service orientated. Western culture is
individualistic and Asian culture more collectivist which focusses on community and
family, so etiquette may not be a façade, but a way of keeping peace and respecting
other people.
The point is that from a western perspective, there are some that view Japanese culture
as being suppressive and there are even arguments that the strict observance of
etiquette and manners is in some way is contrary to human instinct, but surely as
humans our objective as a collective race is to refine and move beyond our base
instincts to something higher. Etiquette and manners sets a foundation based on
acknowledging the feelings of others which is then reciprocated, keeping society
functioning well and the people living in that society happy and peaceful.
Japan’s service industry is unrivalled. Many tourists who visit Japan note that the
service they receive goes above and beyond anything they experience at home. I think
that it would be a mistake to define ‘service’ in Japan in the same way as westerners
do. Service in Japan goes beyond the exchange of money or a business transaction, it’s
a way of ‘being’ that influences everyday life.
There are always 2 sides to every culture. Whilst the ritualistic and what some would
view highly formalised way in which Japanese society operates may be viewed as
containment or lack of free expression, individuality can take on many forms within a
collective culture. From personal experience, I have been moved by many acts of simple
kindness, whether someone has taken the time to help me understand something,
shown me the way, or offered assistance with no expectation of anything in return. A
gentle smile and nod is a small act, but has a big impact.
I remain fascinated by Japanese etiquette and in some ways, it has shown me the
importance that manners and etiquette have. We underestimate how small things can
influence the way a group of people behave and how a society operates and the
simplicity of etiquette, coming from philosophical and religious roots has played an
important role in modern Japan. Whilst I can acknowledge that, as in all cultures, I
may meet people who say one thing and mean something else, does it really matter?

Further reading
http://academic.mu.edu/meissnerd/shinto.html
Japan’s Cultural Code Words – 233 Key Terms that explain the attitude and behaviour
of the Japanese Author Boye Lafette De Mente