Discuss Your Worries

Neither of these extremes is healthy. Voice your conseem

smaller when you get another person’s perspective. But do
not live within your problems as if it is they, not you, who exist.
“You don’t spend your life farming without more worries than
some rough years, Gus says, “we came so close to losing this farm
so many times, it was unbelievable.”
area have been sold to housing developers—not only threatening a
way of life but encouraging all the agriculture-related businesses
Gus and Emma talk about the problems on the farm and reassure
each other that even with the struggles, they are exactly
where they want to be. “This is all we’ve ever wanted,” Gus says.
life, and what more can you ask for?”
close friend or relative were 11 percent less likely to feel
And if that’s not enough, each year more of the farms in their
that Gus relies upon to close up or move away.
“To farm a nice piece of land, to raise a family. This has been my
Those who felt comfortable discussing their worries with a
overwhelmed by their concerns.
The past never changes. Few things are more concrete and obvious
good and the bad, the lessons and the mistakes, are subject to
constant
revision. Understand that we all have a tendency to rewrite
our personal past, often smoothing out some of the rough edges to
Psychologist Kevin McNeil has heard variations on this theme
from countless people. He studies the way people reflect on their
back at another time, and we immediately recognize that many
things were very different,” he says. “This gives us license almost to
reimagine what life was like.
“Especially for those who are in a period of difficult transition, it
is very tempting to take the past and hold it up as an example of
It All Looks Better over Time
than that. Yet, what we make of the past changes all the time. The
make the past look unrealistically good compared with today.
It used to be so much easier. People were nicer. It was quieter.
Everything was cleaner. Life was just better.
past and finds that a certain creativity is often at work. “We look
through then.”
Professor McNeil recommends that people keep the positive
memories of the past in mind, but not in a competitive or comparto
think about yesterday to celebrate it or to learn from it, then
generally happy in the past each time they were asked
the question.
what we wish for, all the while overlooking the struggles we went
ative way: “If you start measuring yesterday against today, you’ve
taken something away from your life right now. Instead, if you stop
you’ve done something that contributes to today.”