Masio Sangster

Mark O’ Jarvis
FHS: Human Sexuality
2/9/2019
U2 Essay 2: Is It Love?
Question: Having read the different theories about love which attempt to define this emotion,
how would you define it? Do you think there is value in these theories or do they simply attempt to
make the idea of love too clinical or intellectual and therefore take away the enjoyment and
spontaneity?
Answer: Speaking on love can be such a sensitive topic because it’s something
people have a hard time connecting with. Love in an unexplainable feeling but to me love
should make you feel safe and at home. I believe that in one of the examples of love, Eros,
does a beautifully short brief description and to me that stands out to be a most stable
committed relationship. I do believe that it is harder to find love or what it means to find love
for ourselves, it is evident that most people are doing one night stands or being in a friends
with benefits relationship as a gateway to sex without any romantic attraction at all. If it is
easy for us to obtain things sexually easily then it is easy to want to stay committed because
everyone is putting out in some way. This could be different culturally, so I am basing this
off a generalization and using evidence that the textbook provides. In the textbook it says
that “Increasingly, individuals are hooking up and becoming involved in friends with benefits
relationships” (David Knox, Susan Milstien. P. 141).
Love is based on a preference and personal opinion, how you view it should not have
to be anyone else's concern but your own. Choosing who you get to love and who you don’t
get to love is entirely optional and can only be up to you to decide. There is a difference
between love and lust though I believe, sometimes people seem to realize this until after their
relationship has ended or this can even be thought about during a relationship. When you are
loving someone it is platonic and everlasting, everything should just flow right into you.
Whereas lusting after someone could even just include looks, picture seeing the most
beautiful man/woman you have never seen before, yeah sure they are beautiful but do you
want to be with them because they are sexually attractive to you or do you spark romantic
attraction when you see this person? This is commonly seen a lot in the younger adult years
and may or may not continue in the person's midlife. There are some cases where to when
two parties are hooking up regularly they eventually end up developing romantic feelings for
one another, this sometimes leads to future relationships and or marriage. In the textbook a
woman states that “The first time she had intercourse with her future husband occurred
shortly after they had met in a bar. She described their first sexual encounter as raw naked sex
with no emotional feelings. But as they continued to see each other an emotional relationship
developed” ( David Knox, Susan Milstien. P. 140).
I don’t believe these theories try to take away the feeling of being young and
spontaneous, but I do believe it gives us an insider perspective on what these attraction will
mean to us in the long term future. These love theories that are present can apply to everyone,
the only difference is that we are all different and we all will have different outcomes when it
comes to loving someone and developing the romantic attraction for someone. Love and sex
can mean the same thing to some people which is why this could apply to anyone, there are
strong similarities between love and sex. The textbook provides 5 examples which include:
love and sex are characterized by intense, and enjoyable feelings. Physiological changes,
cognitive component, etc. Love and sex can be expressed in numerous ways and it can be
everlasting.