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Parent Management Techniques

M. Thomas Kishore, Ph.D.

Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology

This material is meant for teaching the Diploma in Community Mental Health
Course for Psychologists under NIMHANS Digital Academy only

Date – 20/10/2018
It is all about anticipating and responding to
the child’s needs in a mutually satisfying
ways in which the child has a scope to
develop optimally
Parents must recognize that the child’s
needs are different across the stages
Common issues for parents
Developmental Stages Tasks/ Concerns
Infancy and early Health, growth and development
Childhood Mastering the physical environment
(up to age 6) Communication skills
Cooperation in personal skills
School readiness skills

Middle childhood Physical and mental development

Years Schooling/ Education/ Literacy
(6 to 12 years) Peer interactions
Beginning of learning appropriate gender roles
Independent personal skills
Developing attitudes towards society and
Common issues for parents
Developmental Stages Tasks/ Concerns
Adolescent years Achieving new, mature relations with peers
(12 to 18 years) Imaginary audience
Perceived uniqueness
Consolidating gender roles
Accepting one’s physique and using the body
effectively (body image, self-image)
Achieving emotional independence from parents
and other adults
Preparing for marriage and family life
Preparing for an economic career
Acquiring a set of values and an ethical system as
a guide to behaviour – developing an ideology
Desiring and achieving socially responsible
Common issues for parents
Developmental Stages Tasks/ Concerns
Early adulthood years Selecting and living with a life partner
(18 to 30 years) Starting a family
Rearing children
Managing a home
Getting started in an occupation
Taking up civic responsibilities
Finding a congenial social group

Note: The needs can vary depending on many factors

Setting boundaries
Setting boundaries for all ages
⚫ Keep guidance/instruction simple and consistent
⚫ Clearly explain what behaviour you want
⚫ Be available and make time so your child can approach in
times of distress
⚫ Talk and listen to the child even if at times it feels like a
⚫ Review family rules as the child gets older and recognise
the different needs at different stages
⚫ Get support from friends/others and try any good ideas
they have found helpful
⚫ If you are struggling and things are getting out of hand,
get advice from a professional
Rewards and discipline
⚫ Praise genuinely, even for the little things
they do.
⚫ Reward positive behaviour and consider
asking what would be a good reward
⚫ Avoid making rash decisions when angry
or upset
⚫ Talk about the consequences of the
behaviour before hand
⚫ Be a role model
Parents must learn to take care of self
⚫ Accept support
⚫ Make time for yourself
⚫ Get help
⚫ Don’t overlook success
Harsh, punitive punishments should be avoided at all
costs because they may at best work temporarily and
will not teach the child alternative desirable
behaviours. Moreover, they may leave the child with
emotional scars and not forget the physical injuries
they cause in most cases.
Managing disruptive behaviour
⚫ Create structure
⚫ Reinforce good behavior
⚫ Provide consistent discipline
⚫ Strengthen the relationship with the child
through positive communication
⚫ Parents need to see the following:
◦ Child as an individual
◦ Realistic expectations
◦ Transgenerational gaps (e.g. Hamare Jamane mei)
◦ Circularity
◦ Problematic communication
Positive parenting programme
⚫ Ensuring a safe, engaging environment
⚫ Creating a positive learning environment
⚫ Using assertive discipline
⚫ Having realistic expectations
⚫ Taking care of yourself as a parent
Useful links

Note: Some of the pictures in the ppt are taken from the NSPCC
need-to-know-guides on positive parenting/ Google images.
Thank you