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Bailey Stephenson

Professor Malcolm Campbell

UWRT 1104

April 25, 2019

Youth Suicide: We Need to Make a Change

In high school, I met my best friends in theatre. There were five of us. We were called the

Fab Five. All five of us were inseparable. In this group was Sabrina. Sabrina was a 17-year-old

bubbly, goofy, amazing, weird person. She was the type of person that when she walked into a

room, she brightened it. Sabrina worked at Golden Carrol; we all hated the food, but she loved it

and seemed to always bring us some of it. She was the type of person that didn’t care about what

people thought of her. She was just her goofy self all the time. Sabrina had always struggled with

her mental health but from what I knew she was going to see a therapist to help. The start of

senior year, we were so excited for everything that was supposed to happen that year. Prom, the

musical, our theatre competition, graduation. This was going to be the best year of our lives, and

we were lucky enough to be all together. We thought.

The beginning of October, we all get a text from Sabrina’s mother saying that Sabrina

had taken some pills and tried to kill herself. Waking up to the text was heartbreaking. We

immediately found out where she was and drove to the hospital. Once we got there, we were told

that Sabrina was on life-support. The doctors weren’t sure what exactly was going to happen

because they didn’t know how the pills were going to affect her system until she woke up.

Seeing someone you love hooked up to all of these tubes, is the hardest thing I have ever had to

see. We continued to visit her that week. We hung pictures up around her room so that when she

woke up, she would know how much we loved her. We weren’t sure when she was going to
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wake up or if she was even going to wake up. We got a call saying she woke up that week. We

immediately started texting her and calling her. We planned to go see her that Sunday. I was in

school that Friday when I got a frantic text from one of my friends saying that I needed to go to

the office. I immediately knew what happened. She died that Friday October 20th, 2017. I was so

numb. I wasn’t sure what to do or what to say. I didn’t know how to feel. I couldn’t believe that

she was gone. I never got to see her again. After she passed away, we tried our best to stay

positive because we knew that was exactly what she would have wanted us to do. Her parents

asked us to speak at her funeral, it was really hard but to get up and share all of the memories of

her, felt good. We were continuing to stay positive and try to keep it together until we saw

Sabrina laying in the casket. That’s when it became real to all of us. We said our final goodbyes.

After Sabrina passed, we had another teenager commit suicide from my school. This was

a very tough year for my community. When someone passes away from suicide, you can’t help

but question what you could have done differently. That’s what we struggled with for months

after her death. I kept thinking if I just called her, she would still be here. If I would have listened

for a little longer, she would still be here. Sabrina’s mom told us that Sabrina regretted it. When

she woke up, she apologized to her mom and us because she didn’t want to die. I wish that I

could have talked to her right before she took the pills and told her that I was there for her and

that taking those pills wasn’t the solution. I wish I could have hugged her so tight. Both of these

suicides had a huge impact on my community. It opened all of our eyes on how common suicide

is and how important it is to help those around us and to raise awareness for it.

How common is youth suicide?

“Suicide is the second leading cause of death for college age youth and age 12-18” states

The Jason Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to preventing youth suicide. Suicide is extremely
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common and most people don’t realize it. The reason most people don’t realize it is because we

don’t know much about it and people don’t talk about it. It’s obviously not a conversation for

family dinner but is something that needs to be talked about so people can become more aware.

There are multiple suicide attempts in our nation a day. The Jason Foundation found that, “Each

day in our nation, there are an average of over 3,041 attempts by young people grades 9-12. If

these percentages are additionally applied to grades 7 & 8, the numbers would be higher.” This

statistic should get people to talk about it more. This shows that it happens more than people

think it does.

What cause youth to commit suicide?

There are multiple reasons that youth commit suicide. There are emotional causes and

environmental causes to suicide. Suicidal teens usually feel like they are in a situation that can’t

be fixed unless they commit suicide. Natasha Tracy, an award-winning writer on mental health,

states that “Most teens who have been interviewed after a suicide attempt say that what causes

teen suicide are feelings of hopelessness or helplessness”. Teens have a lot of expectations to live

up to. They need to get good grades, do extracurricular activities, be social, be healthy. All of the

pressure from parents, teachers, and coaches can be a lot for one person to handle, especially a

teenager. Not living up to all of the expectations can cause them to feel hopeless or helpless. This

can lead them to think that committing suicide is the only way to make it all go away.

A study led by Dr. Gregory Plemmons, a pediatrician and researcher at Vanderbilt

University, focused on hospitals seeing growing numbers of kids and teens at risk for suicide.

Tara Haelle, a freelance science and multimedia journalist who specializes in reporting pediatric

and mental health, wrote about the most shocking find during this study which was a seasonal

trend in hospital visits. Throughout the years, there were more visits in midfall and spring and
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less visits during the summer. This suggests that there is a link to the stress of school. School

should absolutely be teen’s top priority; however, schools and parents are putting too much

pressure on students to be perfect. Another cause of suicide is social media. In this day and age,

social media is a huge part of teens lives. “It is one that offers not only the potential for help

seeking and support, but also hazards, such as those from cyber-bullying and self-harm bulletin

boards that heighten risks for suicidal behavior” says George Patton, a group leader at the

Murdoch Children’s Research Institute whose research is based at the Centre for Adolescent

Health. That is where they communicate with their friends and family. Social media also leads to

cyberbullying. Social media makes it very easy for other people to bully their peers because they

are hiding behind a screen. Repeated bullying can cause teens to feel hopeless and commit

suicide

Depression is a leading cause of suicide. Teen depression is a serious thing; it causes the

constant feeling of sadness. It can cause teens to not care about activities or school. “It affects

how your teenager thinks, feels and behaves, and it can cause emotional, functional and physical

problems.” (“Teen Depression”). Depression can be caused in many different ways. Some causes

can be early child trauma, hormones, brain chemistry and inherited traits. (“Teen Depression”)

Being depressed can cause a teen to feel alone especially when no one is helping them.

Depression can cause teens to feel that there is no way out of the way they are feeling.

How can we prevent youth suicide?

Preventing suicide is not an exact science. There are ways to pay better attention to those

struggling and help them. There are warning signs to watch out for and tips for what to do when

you find a teen struggling. The following are some tips to helping a teen that is struggling: be

there for them, talk them through their feelings and help them understand and just show them
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that you are there. Don’t treat their feelings like they are nothing or they don’t matter. Show

them that you know their pain is real and you want to help them. If you make them feel heard

and loved, it will make them feel better. It will help them open up to you and accept your help.

Warning signs are something that can be hard to see or not there at all. It is still helpful to

know the warning signs so that if see them you can help that person. Some warning signs are:

lack of energy, risky behavior, increased irritability, decrease in school performances, giving

away possessions, intense sadness and/or hopelessness and substance abuse. ("Suicide in Teens

and Children Symptoms & Causes") Most of the symptoms can be seen by parents or teachers.

These are not the only warning signs. The best way to know what’s going on with your child or

student, is to talk to them. Be open about conversation. Ask them why they are feeling the way

they are feeling and what you can do to help them.

If you are concerned about a student, teen or friend, there are tips on how to handle the

situation. Here are a few: express your concern, really listen, maintain connection, be

compassionate, trust your judgement and prioritize safety. (“Talk to Teens: Suicide Prevention”)

The APA article “Talking to Teens: Suicide Prevention” broke down each tip to help you better

understand. Expressing your concern shows the teen that you care and understand. When you

really listen to what they are saying, don’t interrupt them because what they are saying is hurting

you. Listening to a teen say these types of things can be really hard but you have to be strong and

listen to what they are saying. Maintaining connection is very important; make sure that the teen

is staying in contact with friends and family and try to hang out with that teen more. Be more

compassionate, remind the teen how much they are cared for and how much you love them. You

need to trust your judgement, if the teen says he is fine but you doubt if they are being honest,

trust your gut. The most important one is to prioritize safety; if you are the parent of the teen and
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have weapons in the house remove them, remove medication, remove all harmful thing and if

you think that they are in danger call a mental health professional right away.

Parents are not the only ones that can help, the youth can too. D’Arcy Lyness, a licensed

child and adolescent psychologists, says “If you have a friend who is talking about suicide or

showing other warning signs, don't wait to see if he or she starts to feel better. Talk about it.”

Talk to your friend about how they are feeling and why they are feeling that. Be there for them.

Support them through this time. As a friend, you can help them in a different way than a parent

can. They will be more comfortable talking to you then they will an adult. Lyness stated, “Even

if you're sworn to secrecy and you feel like you'll be betraying your friend if you tell, you should

still get help.” Let an adult know what is going on. This will get your friend the help they need so

that they can get better.

How do we cope with youth suicide?

Even if support and love is given to a teen struggling, sadly sometimes that’s just not

enough. Coping with the loss of a loved one who committed suicide is very hard. You tend to

blame yourself and go through the situation over and over again. Coping is not easy so here are a

few things to try to remember. Accept your emotions, don’t worry about what you “should” feel,

care for yourself, talk to someone or talk to a professional ("Coping After Suicide Loss").

Dealing with your emotions can be very difficult. You have to accept your feelings and make

sure to deal with them properly. You have to accept that it happened. Don’t worry about what

everyone is expecting you to feel. Don’t worry about how your “supposed” to be acting. Handle

your feelings the way you need to. Act the way you need to. Everyone grieves in a different way;

you are allowed to do it your way. Make sure you are taking care of yourself; it is hard to focus

on yourself when other people are hurting; however, if you push your feelings aside to deal with
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someone else’s yours will never get resolved. Talk to someone, talk to someone who is going

through the same thing or an adult. Talking through your feelings can help you better cope with

them. If talking to someone else doesn’t work, try talking to a professional who can break down

what you are feeling and help you better understand.

As a parent it can be hard to talk to your child about the loss of a loved one by suicide. It

can be hard to help them cope. Here are a few things that you should do; deal with your own

feelings first, be honest, validate feelings, avoid rumors and tailor your support ("Coping After

Suicide Loss"). You can’t help a child deal with their feelings if you haven’t dealt with your

own. Make sure that you talk to your child calmly. You need to be honest. Don’t talk about the

details of exactly how they died but don’t hide the facts. Talk to your child about the death but

don’t give the gruesome details. You need to validate their feelings, help the child acknowledge

and know what they are feeling. Talk them through it. Don’t tell them rumors, don’t tell them all

the speculations of the suicide. The American Psychological Association, the leading scientific

and professional organization representing psychology in the United States, said “Instead, when

talking to a child or teen, emphasize that the person who died was struggling and thinking

differently from most people.” Tailor your support, let your child know that you are there and

they can talk to you but let them grieve in their own way. Talking to your child about suicide is

difficult and sad but it is best to talk to them about it rather than leave them confused.

If a student commits suicide there are some things that the school as a whole can do.

They need to handle the announcement with care, identify students that need additional help,

prevent imitation and keep the lines of communication open ("Coping After Suicide Loss").

When announcing the death, don’t do it over the intercom, you should have teachers announce it

in class. This is a sensitive topic that needs to be handled with care. Some students may have
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been closer to the person than others. Try to identify these students and get them the support they

need. This is definitely something that helps. This is what they did in my school. They let us

grieve however we needed and helped us through it. Try to prevent imitation, avoid the vivid

details or any details at all. Just let them know what happened. While discussing it, choose your

words carefully, talk about positive thing about the person’s life and don’t use the term

“committed suicide”. Instead, use death by suicide. This term has less of a negative connotation

then the other. Keep the lines of communication open, have counselors around for the first

couple weeks to let students get help if they feel they need it.

In Conclusion

Youth suicide is an extremely difficult thing to handle. It is a topic that most people don’t

talk about or know its severity. We need to talk about it. We need to raise awareness. People

can’t argue that youth suicide is something that’s happening. Youth suicide may not have

affected you personally but it affects people around you every day. We can make people aware

by knowing the signs and actually talking about it. We can’t be afraid to talk about something

that is happening every day. It’s a sensitive subject but you never know who you could help by

talking about and making people more aware. My experience with youth suicide opened my eyes

more than I can explain. I look at the world differently. I live my life differently. I treat people’s

emotions differently. I am aware. I don’t want more kids to die to make people aware. I want

people to make themselves aware. Adults can make kids aware. Teachers can make students

aware. So many people have such a big impact on their community. They need to use that to

raise awareness.

Whether you knew about youth suicide before reading this or not, ask yourself these

questions. Do I have someone in my life struggling? Have I tried to help? What can I do to help?
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What can I do to raise awareness? What can I do to help my community? How can I make

people know they aren’t alone? One person can spread awareness. All we need is one person.
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Works Cited

"Coping After Suicide Loss". APA, American Psychological Association, 2019,

https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/coping-after-suicide. Accessed 5 Mar 2019.

Haelle, Tara. “Hospitals See Growing Numbers of Kids and Teens At Risk For Suicide.” NPR,

NPR, 16 May 2018, www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/05/16/611407972/hospitals-

see-growing-numbers-of-kids-and-teens-at-risk-for-suicide Accessed 5 March. 2019.

Kaslow, Nadine. "What to Do If You're Worried About Suicide". Child Mind Institute, Child

Mind Institute, 2019, https://childmind.org/article/youre-worried-suicide/. Accessed 17

Mar 2019.

Lyness, D'Arcy. "My Friend Is Talking About Suicide. What Should I Do? (For Teens)". Kids

Health, Kids Health, 2014, https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talking-about-suicide.html.

Patton, George C. “Youth Suicide: New Angles on an Old Problem.” Journal of Adolescent

Health, vol. 54, no. 3, Elsevier Inc., Mar. 2014, pp. 245–46,

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2013.12.015. Accessed 5 Mar. 2019.

"Suicide in Teens and Children Symptoms & Causes". Children’s Hospital, Boston Children’s

Hospital, 2019, http://www.childrenshospital.org/conditions-and-

treatments/conditions/s/suicide-and-teens/symptoms-and-causes. Accessed 17 Mar 2019.

"Talking to Teens: Suicide Prevention". APA, American Psychological Association, 2019,

https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/coping-after-suicide. Accessed 5 Mar 2019.

"Teen Depression". Mayo Clinic, Mayo Clinic, 2018, https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-

conditions/teen-depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20350985. Accessed 17 Mar 2019.

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Tracy, Natasha. "Why Do Teens Commit Suicide? Causes of Teen Suicide". Healthy Place,

Healthy Place, 17 Jun 2016, https://www.healthyplace.com/suicide/why-do-teens-

commit-suicide-causes-of-teen-suicide. Accessed 1 Apr. 2019.

"Youth Suicide Statistics". Parent Resource Program, The Jason Foundation, 2019,

http://prp.jasonfoundation.com/facts/youth-suicide-statistics/. Accessed 5 Mar 2019.