Family Relations

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Summary
The importance of privacy within a family plays a major role in the development of a
child. As a child progresses in age their boundaries change as well. An example is when a parent
softens the blow when telling their child that their grandparents are dying. In this example, the
parent is making their child a shareholder with private information. When a parent shares their
own private information, they usually have a set of boundaries that they already intend to
implement. However, relationships will be tested in the event that these boundaries are not
discussed. In addition, privacy boundaries between parents and children traditionally go unsaid.
For this reason, privacy boundaries should be negotiated as a child grows up.
Mutual boundary coordination is an important law to consider when sharing information
within a parent-child relationship. While in the child role, when your mother tells you something
private you'll most likely have a strong sense of boundary ownership over the information. One
may also want to keep the information confidential. In doing so, a boundary linkage has been
created. However, information within a boundary linkage won't always stay confidential. Many
times someone in the relationship will create boundary turbulence. Now think of the time when
your dad gave you a cookie, before bed, and he told you not to tell your mom. Then you
proceeded to tell your mother anyway. In telling her, you've created a disruption in the
relationship between your father and yourself. Because of this disruption, your father won't
secretly give you another cookie before bed next time.
Many times adults create boundary turbulence in parent-child relationships. Parents
sometimes reveal private information, that children share with them, to another adult or child. A
fuzzy boundary may be the cause of this but, more often than not sharing is due to a mistake.
Children often misinterpret the word vomit as an intentional mistake. Nonetheless, after this
mistake has taken place, children will change the way they share their private information with
adults. Instead of sharing with their parents, they will begin to share more private information
with their peers.

Apply It

● We’ve learned that as a child progresses through adolescence their privacy boundaries
change as well as the type of information and it’s amount of sensitivity. As children age
their parents trust them with more pertinent information and, most establish new
boundaries so that misinterpretation or disruption may not occur in the parental
relationship.
Examples

Parents Tell Their Kids A Long-Held Secret “Video”

https://youtu.be/e0f0_TcXLRE