Jayla Wagoner Commented [yw1]: Missing page numbers.

Professor Watson
English 1001
March 19, 2019
Are We Too Dependent on Technology?
Technology is used throughout out day to day life, but could we live without it? Just sit

back and think about the amount of times you use a computer or phone for work, school, and

personal use. Technology is coming to the point where it is affecting our mental and physical Commented [yw2]: Good question! Yes, we tend to take
our use of technology for granted, to be sure!
health. There are ways can we avoid from using it so much and try to lean ourselves off the

screen by making it aware of the problem and still being active throughout daily life.

First, lets talk about the health risks that can be caused from just using a computer. An

article called “7 worst common health problems caused by computer use” states there was

research done by scientists to find out how technology affects you. Muscle problems like

numbness in back, chest and arms can be caused by sitting at the computer causing poor posture.

When your focusing on the screen of your computer it is terrible for your eyes, the averages

American worker looks at a screen for seven hours a day (Berry 2). Approximately 2.1 billion

people are obese or overweight from looking at a screen for so long causing them to be inactive,

worst cases can even lead to diabetes and heart disorders (Berry 2). Commented [yw3]: This is understandable. Sitting in
front of a computer for a long length of time can cause
these physical ailments.
Facebook and other social media networking sites can be causing negative affects

according to an article “A Love Affair with Technology”. Sites like Facebook can start causing

us to compare ourselves to one another without even realizing it, this can be extremely bad for

people that struggle with self esteem issues. Now let’s talk about romantic relationship’s, even Commented [yw4]: Would that include the FOMO aspect
as well? I have to admit, I tend to use FB for showing-off
purposes at times as well.
though dating online is so much more convenient when you have a busy life, do you always
Commented [yw5]: *relationships:
know who you are talking to? There are also concerns about safety when it comes to
relationships from online to face to face, lying about who they say they are and their appearance.

This is a real danger because most of the time it can be online predators (Morrison 5). According

to SocialMediaToday recent data from 2011 shows that in 81 percent of divorce cases involved

social media causing the relationship to fail (Morrison 5). Commented [yw6]: I can understand this; good work in
pointing it out! Yes, one must consider the risks of online
dating and what is associated with it.
As you can see technology can be affecting every single aspect of our lives whether it be

mental health, physical health, and even relationships. Technology is changing our world and we

have come to dependent on it. According to an article called “life without technology would be a

nightmare” discusses how technology has become so much faster and making us feel more Commented [yw7]: Please capitalize your titles.

comfortable, as well as easier for us to find information that it’s the only way we really want to

find the answers to our questions. We have become more lethargic and less social in person

because it is so easy to communicate with other from the comfort of our home (Taha 3). The

verdict is we are becoming over-reliant on technology so much we cannot live without it. Commented [yw8]: Yes, I can see this. The use of
technology can make us dependent in this way.

Now, maybe we aren’t too dependent on technology and maybe we just like using it for

our own leisure. An article discusses three different reasons on how it benefits our lives. Number

one is it gives us entertainment including; television, video games, YouTube, etc. now maybe

this entertainment isn’t the healthiest, but we do seem to love it. Technology can also keep us

safe. Technology has changed the way people look after their homes and other assets. It has

become so much more common for people to have security systems throughout their homes to

avoid break ins and such. Car technology has really helped in keeping our belongings safe when

parked in a public place and as well as avoiding wrecks. Thanks to new security features cars can

detect when other cars are approaching so there is less crashes. And lastly technology has been a

great help in educating us, with technology education is more accessible than ever before (qtd 5).
Commented [yw9]: These are great points for your
Nowadays schools and colleges build themselves all around technology. counterargument! Actually, you can explain each of them
thoroughly in a paragraph per point for more clarity.
 The importance of computer education involving students has made the difference with

improving the ways students are taught and how they learn. Surprisingly education has benefitted

from technology by making it easier for students to keep up with teachers’ assignment and

helping students to understand information that the professor made confusing. Technology also

helps with the number of books a student must carry, an example would be if a student doesn’t

want to carry home a huge textbook but instead take pictures to read at home could be so

beneficial. An article discussing how technology is actually improving student’s performance by

them coming to class more, higher grades on exams, and as well as feeling more involved with

their lessons. Using computers gets students to become more focused on their work at home

(wright 2). Commented [yw10]: I love these points here! Yes, I like
the fact that we can save our precious environment by using
technology instead of cutting trees to make books, etc. the
Believe it or not computers can play a vital role in our job learning skills. Teaching only thing is that we must be able to recycle our technical
resources when they become outdated.

students on how to use computers is vital for their future careers, the reason being is typical jobs

nowadays involve being on some sort of technology. Another example is especially in the

business world learning how to use PowerPoints to show statistics of data is also very important

(Wright 2). Technology has also improved with students being more efficient and as well as

research. For efficiency students can check their grades online and as well as check upcoming

assignments. As for research, students can research topics in minutes instead of hours with a

typical textbook. Commented [yw11]: True. Technology is omnipresent

now, even in businesses such as grocery stores.

According to an article called “how does technology impact our daily life?” states a 2013

Pew Research study found 94% of jobholders are internet users (Gebski 2). This would include

part time and full-time employee’s as well. We used to communicate by sending faxes or writing Commented [yw12]: *employees

letters, Now email is mainly the communication for the modern workplace. Life is becoming so

much efficient with technology by helping certain questions and research able to get done at a
much quicker pace. Some other good sides to technology is that it has been able to help us learn,

communicate, develop new relationships, entertain, and tons more. The downside to this

situation is that now technology is said to have even change the way the new generations

perceive reality (Gebski 3). Commented [yw13]: How so? Can you explain this more
here?

Technology has officially taken over, especially when it comes to mental health. In a

data analysis done called "Is social media bad for mental health and wellbeing? Exploring the

perspectives of adolescents.” Discussed negative potential that technology can have on the

younger generation. Participants that were in this study claimed that social media was dangerous

for the mind and can seriously impact your way of thinking and might even be addictive. There

were significant levels of usage on social media and social networking that people would stay on

there most of the day (O’Reilly 4).

This is becoming dangerous because reportedly the participants claimed social media or

the internet is mainly the direct cause of stress, depression, low self-esteem, and being suicidal.

There was also a great concern for adolescents being worried about their body image and culture

as well. “A recent scoping review of international studies on cyberbullying shows a median

prevalence of 23 percent, with a social media being the main cause…”(O’Reilly 6). While

digging into these findings it was also found that social consequences were recognized from

having addictive behavior from social media. Claiming that social media was taking time from

friends and family. Commented [yw14]: Good work in pointing this out! Yes,
this use of technology is as bad as the influence of magazine
covers on our adolescents. It is simply not reality.
The reason why this is a problem for people being okay with replacing social media from

quality time with family can affect our mental health by showing isolation and being addicted to

technology. There were findings that participants were saying phrases such as “people can’t

survive without their phone” and “social media is like an online drug” (Dogra 7). Some bad side
effects that are from being addicted to technology or more so social media is sleep. Limited sleep

was the biggest problem that was reported from the participants. Technology is not only taking

over but effecting how we perceive life. Kids losing sleep at such a young age can cause more

side effects than what the average human being would ever think about. Commented [yw15]: Would this be because kids spend
more time online? It would seem so.

After doing all these findings of information on why this writing has a strong purpose, I

would like to state my own experience on being dependent on technology is a growing problem.

As a paint associate at Lowes Home Improvement I tend to match colors of paint with a

machine, look up color codes, and create color corrections. I personally depend on technology

just when it comes to my work. I have from time to time my machine breaking down on me and

not knowing any manual way on how to go around the situation (Wagoner). This is a serious

problem on not eve n being capable to do my job without a machine. Commented [yw16]: Good work in using your personal
experience here! It lends to ethical appeal for your
audience.
Speaking of jobs, technology is even taking over people’s job all around the world. So, if

we rely on technology and care about it and think it’s a positive effect but could technology be

taking over? After discovering this data, finding technology is affecting our emotional and

physical health. Some tips to try and get away from technology isn’t so simple but possible. Try

getting into families lives and spending time with one another. Commented [yw17]: Yes, it is interesting to see how a
whole family looks when together nowadays. Everyone is on
a cell phone or iPad.
Therefore, technology is something we are way dependent on in this world and the

problems are slowly growing. From the average adult to even a teenager. Technology rather we

want to know it or not is something we are not living without.
Commented [yw18]: You sum up your topic well here,
but your conclusion seems short and abrupt. Add more,
such as a restated thesis statement, main points, and a
reflection for your audience, which can be a question,
quote, or a mild proposal.
 Works Cited

Gebski, Todd. “How Does Technology Impact Your Daily Life?” Motus, 16 Nov. 2017,

www.motus.com/how-does-technology-impact-your-daily-life/.

O'Reilly, michelle. “Is Social Media Bad for Mental Health and Wellbeing? Exploring the

Perspectives of Adolescents.” SAGE Journals, 2018,

journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1359104518775154.

Wright, James. “Importance of Computer Education to Students.” It Still Works, 10 Jan. 2019,

itstillworks.com/importance-computer-education-students-1837.html.

Taha, khawaja. “Life Without Technology Would Be A Nightmare.” The Odyssey Online, 27

Aug. 2017, www.theodysseyonline.com/life-technology-nightmare.

Morrison, M. “A Love Affair with Technology: Are We Too Dependent on Computers?”

Soapboxie, Soapboxie, 5 May 2017, soapboxie.com/social-issues/Are-We-Too-

Dependent-on-Computers.

Berry, Georgia. “7 Worst Common Health Problems Caused by Computer Use.” End of

Cyberspace, 2017, endofcyberspace.com/2007/10/anthony-grafton.html.

Wagoner, Jayla. Personal Interview. 26 March 2019.

 You bring out some very good points on the issues regarding the overuse of technology
in today’s society. I especially like the story you shared regarding your own frustrations
of it even thought it is very much needed. Good work on these! Overall, this was a very
informative essay and I enjoyed reading it. However, you are missing a source and a
couple of pages of typed work for your page length requirement. You could flesh out
more points regarding mental distress with the use of technology, such as a fear of
missing out (FOMO) with prolong involvement of social media sites, or you could
approach the subject of cyberbullying as well. You would have plenty of material to refer
to when exploring these avenues! I made comments on mechanical issues as well.

Please see the rubric for your grade and let me know if you have any questions. Thanks!

95-100 Points 85-94 Points 75-84 Points 66-74 Points 0-65 Points

Excellent Good Satisfactory Minimal Poor/Unacceptable

English 1001 Final Research Argument Essay Rubric

Ideas__25___/30%

 Subject is appropriate: not “off-limits” or overly opinionated/emotional

 Thesis statement is well structured and presents a clear position
 Shows awareness of audience and potential counterarguments
 Readers find your argument persuasive

Details__20___ /25%

 “Shows” rather than “tells” –specific evidence from sources supports your points
 Relies on a fair number of solid claims/reasons on your side
 Counterarguments are raised and addressed effectively if applicable
 Argument is original but supported by research
 Sources are used right away in the introduction

Organization___15___ /15%

 Argument builds from clear thesis at the beginning to persuasive ending with sources evident
 Essay stays focused on thesis until the end
 Introduction gets reader’s attention and makes him/her want to keep reading
 Paragraphs are focused and unified, with clear transitions between criteria.
 Counterarguments are logically placed and addressed
 Conclusion ties up loose ends and closes effectively

Style____15_/15%

 Interesting and correct word choice

  Good sentence variety
 Punctuation, grammar, and spelling are correct
 Writing is clear and concise
 Tone of language is objective, appropriate, and respectful – convincing to readers

Format___13__ /15%

 Uses MLA style manuscript form.

 All quotes, stats, opinions of others and little-known facts are cited with correct parenthetical citations.
 Works cited page contains complete publication data, in MLA format.

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Final Research Essay Final Draft Total points: ____88___/100 88% B+