Fishbowl

by Lilla Timperman

Submission date: 14-Feb-2019 03:31PM (UT C-0500)

Submission ID: 1078328581
File name: Fishbowl.docx (14.41K)
Word count: 754
Character count: 3680
 1
Hook readers

6
 7

C/S

8
10
Fishbowl
ORIGINALITY REPORT

8 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
7%
INT ERNET SOURCES
0%
PUBLICAT IONS
7%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
Submitted to Georgia College & State
University
3%
St udent Paper

2
Submitted to North Central Community College
St udent Paper 2%
3
Submitted to Lincoln-Way High School
St udent Paper 2%
4
www.antiessays.com
Int ernet Source 1%

Exclude quotes Of f Exclude matches Of f

Exclude bibliography On
Fishbowl
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

42
PAGE 1
/45

Missing "," You may need to place a comma af ter this word.

Comment 1
NICE T IT LE

QM Hook readers
You can engage your readers more in this part of your writing. Hook their attention with
interesting f acts and background inf ormation about the topic.

Comment 2
how so? like understanding? or holding? a bit vague.

Comment 3
how do you "f eel understanding"?

Comment 4
good.

Sp. T his word is misspelled. Use a dictionary or spellchecker when you proof read your work.

Comment 5
cite at end of sentence.
 Article Error You may need to use an article bef ore this word. Consider using the article the

Comment 6
good.

Verb T his verb may be incorrect. Proof read the sentence to make sure you have used the correct
f orm of the verb.

Sp. T his word is misspelled. Use a dictionary or spellchecker when you proof read your work.

PAGE 2

Comment 7
cite at end of sentence.

S/V T his subject and verb may not agree. Proof read the sentence to make sure the subject agrees
with the verb.

Conf used You have used a in this sentence. You may need to use an instead.

Article Error You may need to use an article bef ore this word.

QM C/S
Comma splice:
A sentence must have both a subject and a main verb in order to be complete, but it cannot
have more than one subject or main verb. A comma splice is a variety of run-on sentence that
occurs when two complete sentences, each with its own subject and verb, are joined mistakenly
by a comma. T here are generally three methods of correcting this problem: 1) Replace the
comma with a stronger mark of punctuation such as a period or semicolon, 2) use a
coordinating conjunction ("and," "but," "or," "nor") to join the two constructions, or 3) make one
of the two sentences a dependent construction by linking it to the other with a subordinating
conjunction ("if ," "when," "so that," "although," "because") or relative pronoun ("that," "which,"
"who," "whom," "whose").

Comment 8
great points.

Strikethrough.

Missing "," You may need to place a comma af ter this word.
PAGE 3

Comment 10
good job.
RUBRIC: 9 TH-12TH GRADE ANALYSIS

CLAIM/FOCUS
Claim and Focus: Make a clear claim about the text(s) early in the essay and f ocus on proving it.

ADVANCED T he essay makes a clear claim about the purpose, ef f ectiveness, or message of the
text(s) based on the strategies, techniques, or devices of the text(s). T he essay
maintains f ocus on analyzing the text(s), using the whole essay to develop the claim
and thoroughly address the demands of the prompt.

PROFICIENT T he essay makes a clear claim about the purpose, ef f ectiveness, or message of the
text(s). T he essay maintains a f ocus on the text(s), but may stray at times f rom
developing the claim. If more than one text is being analyzed, the essay demonstrates
a good balance between or among the texts and addresses the demands of the
prompt.

DEVELOPING T he essay makes a claim about the text(s), but may not connect the claim to the
strategies, techniques, or devices of the text(s). T he essay may maintain f ocus on
the text(s), but not the analysis (or vice versa). If more than one text is being
analyzed, the writer may neglect one or more and may not f ully address the demands
of the prompt.

EMERGING T he essay does not have a claim about the text or about the strategies, techniques,
or devices of the text(s), but may instead of f er overly general f acts as a claim. T he
essay does not develop a claim throughout the essay and does not address the
demands of the prompt.

ANALYSIS/EVID
Analysis and Evidence: Choose the right evidence and analyze the evidence's purpose and ef f ect.

ADVANCED T he essay cites the most appropriate and valid evidence to support its claim and f ully
explains how the evidence cited leads to the message or purpose of the text(s). T he
essay demonstrates insightf ul reasoning and f ull understanding of the strategies of
the text(s).

PROFICIENT T he essay cites appropriate evidence to support its claim and f ollows up evidence
with explanations of how it works to achieve the author's message. Summary, if
present, is balanced with analysis. T he essay demonstrates some reasoning and a
basic understanding of the text's or texts' strategies.

DEVELOPING T he essay relies too heavily on summary and of f ers only vague analysis to support
its claim and evidence is not f ollowed up with analysis. T he essay demonstrates very
little reasoning, and instead includes assertions about the text's or texts' strategies.

EMERGING T he essay does not use evidence f rom the text(s) f or the purpose of analysis. T he
essay may incorporate summary without analysis, neglecting to f ocus on the
f eatures of the text(s).

ORGANIZ AT ION
Organization: Include an engaging introduction and strong conclusion. Use transitions throughout the
essay to make connections clear.

ADVANCED T he essay incorporates ef f ective transitions and an organizational structure that

enhances the analysis. T he essay includes an ef f ective introductory paragraph and a
concluding paragraph.

PROFICIENT T he essay's transitions and structure make it clear and easy to f ollow. T he essay
includes an introductory paragraph or statement, as well as a concluding paragraph
or statement.

DEVELOPING T he essay's transitions and structure may interf ere with a f ull understanding of the
writer's claim. T he essay includes an attempt at an introduction/introductory
statement and/or conclusion/concluding statement.

EMERGING T he lack of transitions and structure make the essay hard to f ollow. T he essay is
missing an introduction or conclusion of any kind.

LANG/ST YLE
Language and Style: Use specif ic, interesting language and clear sentence structure to communicate ideas.

ADVANCED T he essay has an established, f ormal style and objective tone that is maintained
throughout. T he essay uses mostly correct, varied sentence structure and uses
precise language and domain-specif ic vocabulary in a way that addresses the
complexity of the topic. Few errors are present, and they do not interf ere with
meaning.

PROFICIENT T he essay has an established, f ormal style that is maintained throughout. T he essay
uses mostly correct, varied sentence structure and generally uses precise language
and domain-specif ic vocabulary in way that generally addresses the complexity of the
topic. T he essay may have some errors, but they do not interf ere with meaning.

DEVELOPING T he essay attempts to establish a f ormal style that may not be maintained
throughout. T he essay attempts to vary sentence structure and uses some precise
language that may be domain-specif ic at times in a way that may address the
complexity of the topic inconsistently. T he essay contains some errors that may, at
times, interf ere with meaning.

EMERGING T he essay does not establish and/or maintain a f ormal style. T he essay uses little
variety in sentence structure, and the language is general and not domain-specif ic.
T he essay contains errors that interf ere with meaning.