Pearl Diving Assignment: 2

Alex Merino
3/9/19
ENCE424
 These past few weeks of readings and class time have been very engaging and have
taught me a lot about public speaking. I think there was a good mix of the general rules of
communication with larger audiences and important tips for how to make sure crucial
conversations do not get out of hand. I found the reading concept in Crucial Conversations:
Tools for Talking When the Stakes Are High about how to analyze an individual’s habits during
“violent” conversations very useful because of its relevance to maintaining long-term
relationships (Patterson, Grenny and McMillan). The reading concepts from chapter 4 in
Networking for College Students and Graduates: Nonstop Business Networking That Will
Change Your Life about confidence and tenacity really hit home with me because of its
relevance to my internship search (Faulkner and Nierenberg). In class, the activity where we
split into groups and solved an issue dealing with a crucial conversation really showed me the
concept of how to approach problems with deeper layers of understanding and stance.
In order to practice Business Civility this week, I will be focusing on trying to develop
healthy relationships with my peers in classes by asking for or offering help on whatever work
we may have. This past week I improved my networking abilities by contacting more companies
about internship opportunities through email.

Reading Concept 1
Chapter 4 of Crucial Conversations discusses what happens when a conversation goes
from “safe” to “violent.” It begins by teaching the reader how to analyze a situation and look for
markers of how it can turn into a crucial conversation. These markers can first be seen in
physical behavior such as a tight stomach or dry eyes or mouth (Patterson, Grenny and
McMillan). It is also key to watch out for where the conversation is heading and who you are
talking to so that what you say might not create a defensive nature in your listeners (Patterson,
Grenny and McMillan). The chapter then moves into how people react to these “unsafe”
conversations by being either silent or violent. The silence or withdrawal tactic is used when the
person just wants to avoid the issue all together by exiting the conversation (Patterson, Grenny
and McMillan). I found the real challenge is when they turn to violent conversation.
The chapter breaks violent talkers into three styles. The controlling talker tries to win
you over to their side forcefully with actions like cut-offs or speaking in absolutes (Patterson,
Grenny and McMillan). The labeling talker will simply label the other’s idea in order to dismiss
it and similar with the attacker who will simply try to make the other suffer enough until they
give in (Patterson, Grenny and McMillan). The chapter then finishes up with the importance of
learning your style under stress, etc. However, I think that it is more important to understand the
styles of the individuals with whom you may have a crucial conversation. Particularly in the
workplace, if you have a crucial conversation with someone, perhaps one that turned “violent,”
there is a high chance its going to happen again if nothing major happens like termination or
relocation. So, being able to go into conversation knowing that if something goes south, you can
use the proper tactics to suit your verbal combatant is rather comforting. Hopefully, the long-
term relationship you have with that person will be better because you are able to take that
crucial conversation and use it to develop a deeper connection with said person. This also means
that over-time, you should have less and less violent dialog because that person understands from
previous times that you can make it “right” with them whatever it may be.
Reading Concept 2
I believe that the number one priority when talking to possible employers is being able to
remain calm and sell your positives as much as possible. In order to do so, you need to be
confident in your abilities you have gained thus far and have the tenacity to continually “push”
yourself onto the employer. Chapter 4 of Networking for College Students provides some
insight into seven characteristics that are indicative great networks. Two of these characteristics
are confidence and tenacity. The chapter starts off with confidence and talks about how to build
it by getting out of your comfort zone (Faulkner and Nierenberg). Whether it be student clubs or
organizations in the field, being involved in some form will inadvertently force you to become a
more confident speaker. It is kind of like a “trial by fire” approach, but in reality, it is the
quickest way to become confident in your speaking skills. You may go into an interview
confident in your technical abilities, but if the ability to confidently convey them is not there,
then all those technical skills will seem almost invisible.
The fourth factor in the chapter is tenacity. It goes through several stories about how
people in the workplace were able to use their tenacity to succeed. Whether it be pursuing a
possible client or pursuing an employer for a position, the tenacity aspect is being able to stay on
the path towards your goal. Of course, there is a fine line between being tenacious and being a
pest (Faulkner and Nierenberg). This fine line is hard to define and depends on the situation.
But, if you are able to consistently convey what you are trying to achieve, then success is much
more likely to come your way. The chapter references the psychological theory that asking help
from someone and receiving it develops a much deeper relationships between the two people
(Faulkner and Nierenberg). I believe that these two abilities of confidence and tenacity will
bring anyone very far in the business world, and they will be particularly useful in pursuing
employment or internship opportunities.

In Class Concept
The class session where we split into groups and where given a unique problem involving
a crucial conversation was a very enlightening experience. The problem that my group was
faced was a person who was considered lazy and untrustworthy by their coworkers and wanted
to re-establish trust in the workplace environment. It became very difficult to pin down a
concrete solution because there were so many factors that could be at play. The problem was
titled something along the lines of “misunderstandings,” so we assumed that the person was not
actually lazy and untrustworthy. We thought that this person could just be bad at communicating
what they did for the team or bad at communicating when things go awry due to factors out of
their control which then makes it looks like their fault such as project delays, etc.
 We could have attacked this issue at many different angles such as directly going to a
boss or individuals and saying something like “I feel everyone thinks I am lazy, why is this?”
However, the group decided to use a subtler approach by using the ideas from Crucial
Conversation about starting with the heart, etc. (Patterson, Grenny and McMillan). Our solution
was to approach a manager or someone of status and continually from that point ask what more
this person could do to help and ask how they could be more transparent about the work they
were going to do. This process would take a while to heal the “wounds” created, but these
wounds were probably created over many weeks and months and therefore requires similar time
to reverse the damage done. This process showed me how you can approach problems from so
many different angles to get the same result. Some may be more effective than others, which is
why it requires a lot of critical analysis to find the path of least resistance.

Business Civility this Week

This week I will be focusing on creating better relationships with my classmates by
connecting through course work. Whether it be asking for help on a problem I cannot quite get
myself or helping others on their problems, I think this will create a bonding experience between
us. This really embodies business civility because we are creating a kind of “symbiotic”
relationship that allows for everyone to succeed. This is also using the psychological theory that
you are more likely to like a person if you help or are helped by them.

Networking Abilities Thus Far

I increased by networking abilities this past week by contacting more companies about
internship opportunities through email. I think it is a crucial skill to be able to communicate
through email and text efficiently because in the modern era there is so much less face to face
interaction. Whether it be sentence structure or overall flow, I think that an efficient writer can
present themselves as a greater communicator when you cannot actually meet with the employer.
There is a fine line with this because it has to be just the right amount of writing. Too much
seems like a full-blown life story and too little makes you seem like a less tangible candidate for
the position. That sweet spot with the perfect length and phrasing is where a strive to be.

Conclusion
These past few weeks have been very informative and have helped be improve my
communication skills greatly. The reading concepts in Crucial Conversations about safe
conversation and confidence and tenacity in Networking for College Students where particularly
profound to me. Things like the in-class activity about solving problems with crucial
conversation was also enlightening because of the different approaches it showed when attacking
a problem similar to the one in class. During the week, I worked to improve my business civility
by developing better relationships with my peers by helping with coursework and I improved my
networking abilities by emailing potential internship employers. Overall, I am quite pleased with
the progress I am making as a communicator and I hope I can put these tools to good use in the
workplace down the road.
References

Bedford/St. Martin's. A Pocket Guide to Public Speaking. Bedford/St. Martin's, 2016. eBook.
Faulkner, Dr. Michael L. and Andrea R. Nierenberg. Networking for College Students and
Graduates: Nonstop Business Networking That Will Change Your Life. Upper Saddle
River: Pearson, 2013. eBook.
Gallo, Carmine. Five Stars. New York: Macmillan, 2019. eBook.
Pachter, Barbara. Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Greet, Eat, and Tweet Your Way to
Success. McGraw-Hill, 2013. eBook.
Patterson, Kerry, et al. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.
McGraw-Hill, 2012. eBook.