Veronica Martinez

Mrs. Snyder

Capstone - Final Draft

17 April 2019
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Veronica Martinez

Mrs.Snyder

Capstone -Final Draft

17 April 2019

The Lifesavers Amongst Us

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find

out why” (Twain). Foster care has several difficulties and misconceptions surrounding its

system, but one thing remains true, it takes a special person to be a part of it. Many people don’t

realize the impact a child can have on a family or even themselves individually. Typically when

someone thinks of foster care their first thoughts are “broken” but not in a mean way. They know

that if a child is in foster care they were either abandon or taken away from their parents. The

impact that the adoption process has on foster parents can be both positive and negative. Those

impacts may be ​feelings they have about their child's background and their birth family​, ​how the

new responsibilities in their life affect their personal identity ​ ​and how fertility/infertility issues

can really impact the way parents or a single parent view fostering kids is the right move for

them.

The background of a child can sometimes be a hard thing for someone to open up about

but for foster children, everything that they have been through is just there - good or bad. As an

adoptive parent, that's hard and it can be both emotionally difficult but also physically. When a

child gets curious and they want to make some type of contact with their birth parent, their

adoptive parent may worry about when that situation could be brought up. “If the child’s case
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worker gives you permission, get in touch with the birth parents as soon possible after the child

had been placed with you, ideally within two days.” (​Baldino)

Sometimes the foster parents are just simply scared to let their kids meet the biological

parents. They're scared that their children could end up getting hurt or that they would want to be

back with their biological parent/s. “They may worry about having to “compete” with birth

family for their child’s affection or may fear feeling accountable to birth parents for their

day-to-day parenting decisions” (Child Welfare). In other cases, it can be difficult because they

might see that the child/ teenager might have been in juvenile detention for something that was

not disclosed before the adoption was final. The only thing they know is what was on their file

during the initial process.

Identity can be the hardest yet easiest part of this long process. For most foster parents

that are going to foster, it can be quite difficult since they know they are there because they

weren’t able to have any children of their own. They always wanted to have the role of “dad” or

“mom” and they get into foster care. But not always right away they're going to feel that

attachment to their foster child According to Cynthia Quintana, a Bethany Christian, who

supervises transitional foster care, foster children struggle with attachment due to a lack of trust.

For example, “Developing a strong family identity that involves all members and makes

everyone feel included may be especially important for the transracial or transcultural family or

for any “conspicuous” adoptive family.” (Child Welfare) There are so many ways identity can

impact the life of a foster parent. For example, “Adoptive parents may worry that they don’t

“feel” like parents, even after the adoption is complete” (Child Welfare) many foster parents
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may feel this way because they haven't had that connection with the adoptive child and when it

does happen they notice the change that adoption has had on there life.

One the major impacts that adoption has on foster parents depends on fertility/infertility.

Some parents adopt for many different reasons one of them being unable to have kids on their

own. Biological kids or they just want to grow there family and don't feel like having / carrying a

child (both straight or gay.) “Some will have experienced repeated miscarriages or intrusive

fertility treatments” (Child Welfare). When they hear about adoption, they are just hoping to be

one thing - a ‘Mom’ or a ‘Dad’... they desire to have a family. Yes, sometimes the conditions

they are going through might not help the situation of the adoption. Before they are able to adopt,

they have to go to some type of counseling to address their feelings and grief of not being able to

carry or bare their own child, before they can emotionally support a child and everything that

comes with it. That's why when adults decide on adopting because they are infertile, it can be a

bit of a challenge for them. On another note, some adults that are fertile adopt children because

they might feel bad for them, or they want to help a child/teenager be able to proceed a higher

education that they most likely wouldn’t be able to have by themselves. ​“​A very close friend of

ours talked me into doing foster care and what led us to adopt the two we have due to the

circumstances behind them coming into our home. Also because they became a part of or

family.” according to Diana Snyder, a foster parent who adopted.

The impact that the adoption process has on foster parents can be both positive and

negative. Those impacts may be feelings they have about their child's background and their birth

family, how the new responsibilities in their life affect their personal identity and how

fertility/infertility issues can really impact the way parents or a single parent view fostering kids
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is the right move for them. Overall, adoption on the parents can be a bit stressful but at the end of

the whole process, they would understand that they are the life savers for these children/teens.

Now it's up to us to decide if we have what it takes to become someone’s support, guide, and last

but not least, lifesaver.

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Works Cited

Baldino, Rachel Greene. ​Success As A Foster Parent​. Alpha Books, 2009.

Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2015). ​Impact of adoption on adoptive parents.

Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children’s Bureau.

“Effects of Adoption on Family Relationships.”​Effects of Adoption on Family

Goodson, Julian. ​Thoughts of a Foster Dad.​ Julian Goodson, 2017. ​Relationships [Marripedia],​

marripedia.org/effects_of_adoption_on_family_relationships.

McWey, Lenore M, et al. “The Impact of Continued Contact with Biological Parents

upon the Mental Health of Children in Foster Care.” ​Children and Youth Services

Review,​ U.S, National Library of Medicine, 1 Oct. 2010,

Quintana, Cynthia. Personal interview March 21, 2019

Snyder, Diana. Personal interview March 25, 2019