ORDINARY AFFECTS

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acknowledgments ix

Ordinary Affects I
I am grateful to the National Endowment for the Humanities for
a fellowship year at the School of American Research in Santa Fe;
to the University of California, Irvine, Humanities Institute for
six months in Orange County; and to the University of Texas for
a Dean's Fellowship and a Faculty Research Assignment.
Versions of various small parts of this book have been published
elsewhere, as follows: Annual Review of Anthropology 28 (1999);
Intimacy, ed. Lauren Berlant (Chicago: University of Chicago
Press, 2000); Cultural Studies and Political Theory, ed. Jodi Dean
(Ithaca: Cornell University Press, 2000); Cross Cultural Poetics 3,
no. 3 (2000); Modernism, Inc.: Essays on American Modernity, ed.
Jani Scanduri and Michael Thurston (New York: New York Uni-
versity Press, 2002); "Public Sentiments: Memory, Trauma, His-
tory, Action," ed. Ann Cvetkovich and Ann Pelegrini, special issue
of Scholar and Feminist Online 2, no. I (2003); Aesthetic Subjects:
Pleasures, Ideologies, and Ethics, ed. Pamela Matthews and David
McWhirter (Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 2003);
Transparency and Conspiracy: Ethnographies of Suspicion in the
New World Order, ed. Harry G. West and Todd Sanders (Dur-
ham, N.C.: Duke University Press, 2003); Histories of the Future,
ed. Susan Harding and Daniel Rosenberg (Durham, N.C.: Duke
University Press, 2005); Handbook of Qualitative Research, ed.
Norman Denzin and Yvonna Lincoln (London: Sage, 2005); and
"Uncharted Territories: An Experiment in Finding Missing Cul-
tural Pieces," ed. Orvar Lofgren, special issue, Ethnologia Europea:
Journal of European Ethnology I, no. 2 (2005).
Many people have read or listened to parts or all of the various
versions of this book. I am especially grateful to Begona Aretxaga,
Lauren Berlant, James Clifford, Ann Cvetkovitch, Steven Feld,
Donna Haraway, Susan Harding, Mary Hufford, Laura Long,
Jason Pine, Gretchen Ritter, Betsy Taylor, Greg Urban, and Scott
Webel. From the start, the life and stories of Daniel Webb have
been an inspiration for my work in this volume. Some excel-
lent stories also came from Andrew Causey, who is permanently
missed in the neighborhood, and one came from Penny Van Horn
who is still an excellent presence even though I never see her. My
mother, Claire, and my brothers, Frank and Michael, each con-
tributed a story. Other members of my family also built, and con-
tinue to build, the affective and narrative ground on which this
book roosts. The Public Feelings group at the University of Texas
has been the most intellectually and affectively stimulating and
supporting academic scene I have ever been part of I thank Ken
Wissoker for knowing what this project was about long ago and
being there for it, so patient and clear. Ronn Dula, John Dula,
and Ariana Stewart have spun around the thing, day to day, with
grace, squeals of laughter and rage, rolled eyes, whispers, head-
aches, distractions, interruptions, and smiling eyes (or knowing
smirks). Thank you for that.
Ordinary Afficts is an experiment, not a judgment. Committed
not to the demystification and uncovered truths that support a
well-known picture of the world, but rather to speculation, curi-
osity, and the concrete, it tries to provoke attention to the forces
that come into view as habit or shock, resonance or impact. Some-
thing throws itself together in a moment as an event and a sensa-
tion; a something both animated and inhabitable.
This book is set in a United States caught in a present that
began some time ago. But it suggests that the terms neoliberalism,
advanced capitalism, and globalization that index this emergent
present, and the five or seven or ten characteristics used to sum-
marize and define it in shorthand, do not in themselves begin
to describe the situation we find ourselves in. The notion of a
totalized system, of which everything is always already somehow
a part, is not helpful (to say the least) in the effort to approach
a weighted and reeling present. This is not to say that the forces
these systems try to name are not real and literally pressing. On
the contrary, I am trying to bring them into view as a scene of
immanent force, rather than leave them looking like dead effects
imposed on an innocent world.
The ordinary is a shifting assemblage of practices and practical
knowledges, a scene of both liveness and exhaustion, a dream of
escape or of the simple life.1 Ordinary affects are the varied, surg-

1 See Lauren Berlant's essay "Cruel Optimism" (Differences, forth-

coming) for a brilliant discussion of how objects and scenes of desire
matter not just because of their content but because they hold promise
ing capacities to affect and to be affected that give everyday life
the quality of a continual motion of relations, scenes, contingen-
cies, and emergences.2 They're things that happen. They happen
in impulses, sensations, expectations, daydreams, encounters, and
habits of relating, in strategies and their failures, in forms of per-
suasion, contagion, and compulsion, in modes of attention, at-
tachment, and agency, and in publics and social worlds of all kinds
that catch people up in something that feels like something. 3
Ordinary affects are public feelings that begin and end in broad
circulation, but they're also the stuff that seemingly intimate lives
are made of. They give circuits and flows the forms of a life. They
can be experienced as a pleasure and a shock, as an empty pause or
a dragging undertow, as a sensibility that snaps into place or a pro-
found disorientation. They can be funny, perturbing, or traumatic.
Rooted not in fixed conditions of possibility but in the actual
lines of potential that a something coming together calls to mind
and sets in motion, they can be seen as both the pressure points of
events or banalities suffered and the trajectories that forces might
take if they were to go unchecked. Akin to Raymond Williams's
structures of feeling, they are "social experiences in solution"; they

in the present moment of a thing encountered and because rhey become

rhe means of keeping whole clusrers of affectsmagnetized to them.
2 See Gilles Deleuze and Felix Guattari, Anti-Oedipus: Capitalism and
Schizophrenia, vol. I, trans. Brian Massumi (Minneapolis: University of
Minnesota Press, 1983), andA Thousand Plateaus: Capitalism and Schizo-
phrenia, vol. 2, trans. Robert Hurley, Mark Seem, and Helen R. Lane
(Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 1987).
3 See Lauren Berlant's introduction to Intimacy (Chicago: Univer-

sity of Chicago Press, 2000) and her essays "Nearly Utopian, Nearly
Normal: Post-Fordist Affect in Rosetta and La Promesse" (Public Culture,
forthcoming) and "Slow Death" (Critical Inquiry, forthcoming) for dis-
cussions of an individual's abstract yet contingent desire to feel like he
or she is "in" something or can recognize something.
"do not have to await definition, classification, or rationalization
before they exert palpable pressures."4 Like what Roland Barthes
calls the "third meaning," they are immanent, obtuse, and erratic,
in contrast to the "obvious meaning" of semantic message and
symbolic signification.5 They work not through "meanings" per
se, but rather in the way that they pick up density and texture as
they move through bodies, dreams, dramas, and social woddings
of all kinds. Their significance lies in the intensities they build and
in what thoughts and feelings they make possible. The question
they beg is not what they might mean in an order of representa-
tions, or whether they are good or bad in an overarching scheme
of things, but where they might go and what potential modes of
knowing, relating, and attending to things are already somehow
present in them in a state of potentiality and resonance.
Ordinary affects, then, are an animate circuit that conducts
force and maps connections, routes, and disjunctures.6 They are a
kind of contact zone where the overdeterminations of circulations,
events, conditions, technologies, and flows of power literally take
place. To attend to ordinary affects is to trace how the potency of
forces lies in their immanence to things that are both flighty and
hardwired, shifty and unsteady but palpable too. At once abstract
and concrete, ordinary affects are more directly compelling than
ideologies, as well as more fractious, multiplicitous, and unpre-
dictable than symbolic meanings. They are not the kind of analytic
object that can be laid out on a single, static plane of analysis, and

4SeeRaymond Williams, Marxism and Literature (New York:Oxford

University Press, 1977), 133, 132.
5 Roland Barthes, "The Third Meaning: Research Notes on Some

Eisenstein Stills,"in The Responsibility of Forms: Critical Essays on Music,

Art, and Representation, trans. Richard Howard (Berkeley:University of
California Press, 1985), 318.
6 See Nigel Thrift, Knowing Capitalism (London: Sage, 2005), for a

discussion of how capitalism forms an "animate surface" to life.

they don't lend themselves to a perfect, three-tiered parallelism
between analytic subject, concept, and world. They are, instead,
a problem or question emergent in disparate scenes and incom-
mensurate forms and registers; a tangle of potential connections.
Literally moving things-things that are in motion and that are
defined by their capacity to affect and to be affected-they have
to be mapped through different, coexisting forms of composition,
habituation, and event. They can be "seen," obtusely, in circuits
and failed relays, in jumpy moves and the layered textures of a
scene. They surge or become submerged. They point to the jump
of something coming together for a minute and to the spread-
ing lines of resonance and connection that become possible and
might snap into sense in some sharp or vague way.
Models of thinking that slide over the live surface of difference
at work in the ordinary to bottom-line arguments about "bigger"
structures and underlying causes obscure the ways in which a reel-
ing present is composed out of heterogeneous and noncoherent
singularities. They miss how someone's ordinary can endure or
can sag defeated; how it can shift in the face of events like a shift
in the kid's school schedule or the police at the door. How it can
become a vague but compelling sense that something is happen-
ing, or harden into little mythic kernels. How it can be carefully
maintained as a prized possession, or left to rot. How it can morph
into a cold, dark edge, or give way to something unexpectedly
hopeful.
This book tries to slow the quick jump to representational think-
ing and evaluative critique long enough to find ways of approach-
ing the complex and uncertain objects that fascinate because they
literally hit us or exert a pull on us. My effort here is not to finally
"know" them - to collect them into a good enough story of what's
going on- but to fashion some form of address that is adequate
to their form; to find something to say about ordinary affects by
performing some of the intensity and texture that makes them
habitable and animate. This means building an idiosyncratic map
of connections between a series of singularities. 7 It means point-
ing always outward to an ordinary world whose forms ofliving are
now being composed and suffered, rather than seeking the closure
or clarity of a book's interiority or riding a great rush of signs to
a satisfying end. In this book I am trying to create a contact zone
for analysis.
The writing here has been a continuous, often maddening,
effort to approach the intensities of the ordinary through a close
ethnographic attention to pressure points and forms of attention
and attachment. Ordinary Afficts is written as an assemblage of
disparate scenes that pull the course of the book into a tangle
of trajectories, connections, and disjunctures. Each scene begins
anew the approach to the ordinary from an angle set off by the
scene's affects. And each scene is a tangent that performs the sen-
sation that something is happening-something that needs at-
tending to. From the perspective of ordinary affects, thought is
patchy and material. It does not find magical closure or even seek
it, perhaps only because it's too busy just trying to imagine what's
going on.
I write not as a trusted guide carefully laying out the links be-
tween theoretical categories and the real world, bur as a point of
impact, curiosity, and encounter. I call myself "she" to mark the
difference between this writerly identity and the kind of subject
that arises as a daydream of simple presence. "She" is not so much
a subject position or an agent in hot pursuit of something de-
finitive as a point of contact; instead, she gazes, imagines, senses,
takes on, performs, and asserts not a flat and finished truth but
some possibilities (and threats) that have come into view in the
effort to become attuned to what a particular scene might offer.
From the perspective of ordinary affects, things like narrative

7SeeJohn Rajchman, The Deleuze Connections (Cambridge, Mass.:

MIT Press, 2000), 4-13, for a discussionof the analysisthat works to
make connections.
and identity become tentative though forceful compositions of
disparate and moving elements: the watching and waiting for an
event to unfold, the details of scenes, the strange or predictable
progression in which one thing leads to another, the still life that
gives pause, the resonance that lingers, the lines along which signs
rush and form relays, the layering of immanent experience, the
dreams of rest or redemption or revenge. Forms of power and
meaning become circuits lodged in singularities. They have to be
followed through disparate scenes. They can gather themselves
into what we think of as stories and selves. But they can also re-
main, or become again, dispersed, floating, recombining-re-
gardless of what whole or what relay of rushing signs they might
find themselves in for a while.
Walter Benjamin's 1999 Arcades Project is one model of this
kind of thinking: his nomadic tracing of dream worlds still reso-
nant in material things; his process of writing captions to found
fragments and snapshots gathered into a loose assemblage; the
way his thought presses close to its objects in order to be affected
by them.
Roland Barthes's S/Z and A Lover's Discourse are models too:
his attunement to the movements, pleasures, and poetics of lan-
guage and things; his sense of the expansive, irreducible nature of
forms of signification; his attention to the fragments that com-
prise things; his notion of the punctum-the wounding, person-
ally touching detail that establishes a direct contact.
Leslie Stern's The Smoking Book assembles an array of brief
ficto-critical stories united only by some mention of smoking,
embedding theory in the situations encountered. The result is a
mass of resonances linking precise moments and states of desire
through a single, thin line of connection. It leaves the reader with
an embodied sense of the world as a dense network of mostly un-
known links.
Michael Taussig's My Cocaine Museum and The Magic of the
State and Alphonso Lingis'sDangerous Emotions and Foreign Bodies
also serve here as examples of ficto-critical efforts to perform the
intensity of circuits, surges, and sensations.
D. ]. Waldie's Holy Land: A Suburban Memoir is a surreally
realist chronicle of Lakewood, California, which in the 1950S was
built, overnight, as the "world's largest" subdivision. Like the sub-
division grid, Waldie's memoir is constructed out of tiny bits of
personal narrative, hometown tales, and moments in the history
of real estate development, all held together with the mortar of a
singular though widespread form of ordinariness.
David Searcy's Ordinary Horror brilliantly performs the attach-
ment to fantasy that arises out of mundane sights and situations.
Many other novels, such as Edward Jones's The Known World, Ian
McEwan's Atonement, or Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner, pro-
duce scenes of a world saturated by jumpy attunements.
Finally, Lauren Berlant's mode of thinking and writing on the
affects of the present moment serves here as a direct inspiration
and source of insight. In her work, the academic concept be-
comes something new and promising. Embedded in the intense
and complex affective attunement of her writing, her concepts of
the noncoherent, the incommensurate, and the scenic, as well as
of attachment, intimacy, exhaustion, and the unlivable but ani-
mating desires for rest or for the simple life have sent me back to
rethink scenes over and over again.
It's been years now since we've been watching.
Something surges into view like a snapped live wire sparking
on a cold suburban street. You can stare at it, transfixed by its er-
ratic thrashing. Or you can shake it off fast and finish your morn-
ing walk as planned, eyeing the thing as you pass on your way to
the dog park.
At the park, there is talk, and the dogs run around madly, as if
recharged.
The flashing up is real.
It is delusional.
The dogs take to sleeping in nervous fits and starts. They throw
one eye open, raising a single eyebrow in hard surprise. They
cower under legs for no good reason and whimper at the sound of
branches brushing up against the bathroom window in the still of
the night. But with a simple, reassuring look and a murmur in the
ear, a kiss on the head, or the glimpse of a tail running by, they're
off again, stretching their legs in sheer pleasure.

Everyday life is a life lived on the level of surging affects, impacts

suffered or barely avoided. It takes everything we have. But it also
spawns a series of little somethings dreamed up in the course of
things.
It grows wary and excited.
There are all the details of getting the rent money together or
of home remodeling, getting messed up and recovering (or not),
looking for love (or not), trying to get into something, or trying
to get out of something you've gotten yourself into, shopping,
hoping, wishing, regretting, and all the tortures of exclusion and
inclusion, self and other, right and wrong, here and there.
The ordinary registers intensities-regularly, intermittently,
urgently, or as a slight shudder.
We wish for the simple life that winks at us from someone else's
beautiful Rowerbeds. We Rip off other drivers, eye strange or de-
licious characters on the subway or the street. We scan the head-
lines, read the luscious novels and sobering memoirs two pages at
a time before falling asleep at night. We lose hours at a time dis-
appeared into some pleasure or obsession, or Ripping hamburgers
or filing charts all afternoon to the point of literal senselessness.
Attention is distracted, pulled away from itself. But the con-
stant pulling also makes it wakeful, "at attention." Confused but
attuned.
We're busy if we're lucky.
For some, the everyday is a process of going on until something
happens, and then back to the going on.
For others, one wrong move is all it takes.
Worries swirl around the bodies in the dark.
People bottom out watching daytime television.
Schedules are thrown up like scaffolding to handle work sched-
ules and soccer practice or a husband quietly drinking himself to
death in the living room.
We dream of getting by, getting on track, getting away from
it all, getting real, having an edge, beating the system, being our-
selves, checking out.
But first we take the hit, or dodge it.

Modes of attending to scenes and events spawn socialities, identi-

ties, dream worlds, bodily states and public feelings of all kinds.
,rr: - : _::::_:-into, shopping, None of this is simply "good" or "bad" but always, first, both
I -:-
_~::'
of exclusion and powerful and mixed.
-.=- ~~:: ;.nd there. She's in a cafe in a small West Texas town. A place where
Diit: - ~=;:__~>'" intermittently, ranchers hang out talking seed prices and fertilizer and strangers
passing through town are welcome entertainment. The sun is
_ =':y:nsomeone else's going down and she's halfway through her fresh-killed steak and
:~: =::e strange or de- her baked potato when a biker couple comes in limping. All eyes
:-~:. -Te scan the head- rotate to watch them as they move to a table and sit down. Their
_;:~:::-:::Jirstwo pages at hair is tousled, their clothes rumpled and torn. They talk intently,
~ y~rs at a time dis- locking their startled eyes.When she walks past their table on her
: ~~__
??ing hamburgers way out, they raise their heads to ask if she's heading out on the
, : .. :.::::3.1 senselessness. west road and if she can look for bike parts. They say they hit a
-: -:-, self But the con- deer coming into town and dumped their bike. The deer, they say,
-:::-,:,,:'In."Confused but fared much worse.
The room comes to a dead stop. All eyes and ears tune in to
the sentience of the crash still resonating in the bikers' bodies.
~ ,g :n until something Then, slowly, taking their sweet time, people begin to offer ques-
tions from their tables, drawing out the details. First there is just
~
II '-~:'.=: the simple will to know what happened. But the talk, once set in
IIIr: - ---~. motion, expands into a thicket of stories and social maneuverings.
r::l~',r,._. -: :-·~~lon. There is talk of other collisions and strange events at that place on
• :1 - ~ :.: ,-~cndlework sched- the west road. Some people make eye contact across the room .
• cL .. _ ~ -_ . ::':-inkinghimself to There are sly smiles of recognition. Little seeds of speculation
begin to sprout. The scene in the restaurant becomes an ordinary
-':':,: gening away from maze of inspirations and experiments.
-.= :'_-,:: 'Tstem, being our- It's as if the singularity of the event has shaken things up, light-
ening the load of personal preoccupations and social ruts. As if
everyone was just waiting for something like this to happen. A
"we" of sorts opens in the room, charging the social with lines of
potential.
As she leaves, she imagines how, in the days to come, people
will keep their eyes open for bike parts when they travel the west
- :,"n socialities, identi- road and how there will be more talk. Conversations will gather
.!cL. - - ': :'::dings of all kinds. around the event and spin off into talk about the overpopulation
of deer or the new law legalizing riding without a helmet. There It can draw danger.
might be talk of what parts would break in a speeding encounter Or it can dissipate. :~.:.-
with a deer caught in a headlight, or of who is a good mechanic
and who doesn't know what he's talking about. Or talk might
turn to the image of hitting the open road, or surviving the desert
injured, or to abstract principles like freedom, fate, and reckless-
ness. She's Vlsltlllg a place _~_
But one way or another, the little accident will compel a re- poverty and stereotype' ,:
sponse. It will shift people's life trajectories in some small way, Strangers passing thrc_;-, '
change them by literally changing their course for a minute or a tight.
day. Right now, Bobb~' ,.
The chance event might add a layer of conflict or daydream there's been trouble v,: I,-_
to things. It might unearth old resentments, or set off a search The Whitakers are '-,,',=-
for lessons learned. It might pull the senses into alignment with incarnation of mour:;:-=-~,::
simple choices or polemics: good luck and bad, laws and liberties, she met them, years ~e~:::
wild rides and common sense. But for now, at least, and in some with a doctor from ::-,:
small way in the future, too, the talk will secretly draw its force ker had congestive he-=--::-=-
from the event itself resonating in bodies, scenes, and forms of propped up in a beaI-":,=-:::
sociality. boys ran in and out 0:' I,-,: -
And the habit of watching for something to happen will grow. Three or four youn~e: :' __
smiling, curious.
Then the mother c~-=--'-,
an old cowboy hat ar:=-.:.::1
sequins and drifted c~
The ordinary is a circuit that's always tuned in to some little some- of the others, cashinz =-',=_:
thing somewhere. day to the little store,,-: =-',= :
A mode of attending to the possible and the threatening, it Dongs, coffee, and IiII_= : -=--_
amasses the resonance in things. For years now, ne:;~,::
It flows through cliches of the self, agency, home, a life. clothing, carrying th~~, :: =-:
It pops up as a dream. Or it shows up in the middle of a derail- from being taken b:' t:--,= :' ::
ing. Or in a simple pause. old trailer, now deca','~-=--=-I =-
It can take off in flights of fancy or go limp, tired, done for cars have piled up a~=- =--: '
now. Some of them have b..:_: I'-__'
It can pool up in little worlds of identity and desire. smallest of tool shed" =- ,_
 It can draw danger.
::: c:c: =':'1g encounter Or it can dissipate, leaving you standing.
~ ~:Jd mechanic
- _: ,=': talk might
-=- - -:'1g the desert
- :-::: "-,cdreckless-
She's VISItInga place in the mountains where there is abject
- __:Dmpel a re- poverty and stereotypes so strong they thicken the air like a stench.
: =_:: small way, Strangers passing through drop their jaws and lock their car doors
- -":: .: :ninute or a tight.
Right now, Bobby is worried about the Whitakers because
:-: :: daydream there's been trouble with some rich kids from town.
'::: iJtt a search The Whitakers are wild looking. Everyone points to them as the
.:-_~:-_ment with incarnation of mountain stereotype. She remembers the first time
-'I'_dliberties, she met them, years before, on a home visit to their tiny shack
::C,: .:nd in some with a doctor from the local poor people's clinic. Mrs. Whita-
:::3.\\- its force ker had congestive heart failure. She sat with her swollen ankles
__ .:-,d forms of propped up in a beat-up recliner while four or five mute teenage
boys ran in and out of the house gesticulating some kind of story.
Three or four younger children sat on a mattress on the floor,
smiling, curious.
Then the mother died. After a few months, the father put on
an old cowboy hat and a beautiful red and yellow satin shirt with
sequins and drifted off. Mary Jo, the oldest, was able to take care
of the others, cashing their disability checks and walking every
day to the little store at the end of the holler to get weenies, Ding
Dongs, coffee, and little cans of sweet evaporated milk.
For years now, neighbors have been bringing them food and
- :=_c: 3. life. clothing, carrying them to the hospital, and fighting to keep them
- :=..:.: of a derail- from being taken by the state and split up. Someone gave them an
old trailer, now decayed and collapsing on the spot. Broken-down
cars have piled up and the Whitaker boys are now grown men.
Some of them have built their own tiny shacks, no bigger than the
smallest of tool sheds. Driving past their place on the narrow dirt
road now, you see several men and women standing frozen in the
yard, watching you pass. If you wave, they'll smile and wave back.
If you don't, they'll just stand there woodenly and stare at you.
Two of the women go to the Tommy Creek Free Will Good
Hope Baptist Church next door. They testify in a language the
others can't understand, even though speaking in tongues is a
regular thing. This language seems like a special connection with
the divine.
The trouble started when a visiting preacher from town spotted
the Whitakers on his way to the Tommy Creek church and then
went back and told his congregation. A church committee brought
food and clothes. Bobby says they must have realized what they
had here, because they came back at Christmas with a camera
and shot a video to show the congregation. A group of teenage
boys in the church were seized by the images, so one dark night
they surged toward the Whitakers's place. They threw rocks at the
shacks to draw them out. A few weeks later they were back, and
this time the Whitaker men came out showing guns. Bobby is
afraid that the next time the rich kids will be back shooting.
An escalating exchange is sparked by a visceral encounter of
images. In a video that blankly records an arresting image, young
embodiments of a mainstream in the making come face to face
with an otherness that compels a closer look. The order of repre-
sentation gives way to a more violently affective contact. The politics of orci~-=-:- -
Calling out the Whitakers, the kids from town surge toward a ond when police CC:~'::e -
scene of their own confident force. The Whitakers learn their part standing in a dark.::: : ~ ~
in the face of threat-the headlights shining in their sleepy eyes moment when some ~__ _
and the crack of hostile shouts. come into view. 0 c- :
any surge depends -
plays itself out and ~:-~
Ideologies happc~ ~: -
trenched. Identities :~-:e :
Her brother makes foreman at GE after twenty some years on the at the drop of a har. :-:._:- :
line. His first job is to layoff a lot of the other guys. Guys with quality of a somethir~;::
 twenty or thirty years in. It's horrible (he's a storyteller). One man
~. '-.=-.S': frozen in the
-=-._. e ::1d wave back. has a heart attack in his office, so he calls the ambulance. He
:.=-.::. ,ure at you.
finds counseling for others who are having anxiety attacks and
. _~.:::ee \'Vill Good severe confusion. One man needs suicide intervention after his
wife kicks him out of the house.
language the
=-. '-
Her brother's stories are shell-shocked and they have no end-
__ =.:: .::'c wngues is a
- ... :. ::>"nection with ings. They leave you hanging.
There's a strike over healthcare cuts and job security. He and
the other foremen have to cross the picket line. It's horrible. He's
. ~. :::".wwn spotted
:::_.::-:-.lfchand then been a union steward. He's given union speeches. Now things
are getting ugly. Something powerful and painful flashes through
- :. :::".:nitteebrought
him.
: .e~:zed what they
Soon after, there's a call for a one-day national strike. He and
-=-.-'-' \·:ith a camera
some of the other foremen go to management. They say they're
~. ::cup of teenage
:.. :me dark night not comfortable crossing the picket line. They're told they can
-=.-.:::\\. rocks at the
take a personal day. Lucky for them it's only one day.
=. -=--.e-· '.',·ereback, and They're a weak link in the chain of command. They're strong,
brave, and scared. They've hit a wall in what they can and can't do.
=-.; pns. Bobby is
They're a short circuit in a flow. They're lucky.
. = =- '-:~: shooting.
::::Jl encounter of
.. ~::'::=-.gimage, young
-.:: ::>:ne face to face
-:-=-.'" order of repre-
.:: :ontact. The politics of ordinary affect can be anything from the split sec-
- ••.,::'. surge toward a ond when police decide to shoot someone because he's black and
. :.:,:::::5 learn their part
standing in a dark doorway and has something in his hand, to a
moment when someone falls in love with someone else who's just
._ their sleepy eyes
come into view. Obviously, the differences matter. The politics of
any surge depends on where it might go. What happens. How it
plays itself our and in whose hands.
Ideologies happen. Power snaps into place. Structures growen-
trenched. Identities take place. Ways of knowing become habitual
at the drop of a hat. Bur it's ordinary affects that give things the
::::-. 'orne years on the
quality of a something to inhabit and animate. Politics starts in the
: :=-."'I guys. Guys with
animated inhabitation of things, not way downstream in the vari-
ous dreamboats and horror shows that get moving. The first step
in thinking about the force of things is the open question of what
counts as an event, a movement, an impact, a reason to react.
There's a politics to being/feeling connected (or not), to impacts
that are shared (or not), to energies spent worrying or scheming
(or not), to affective contagion, and to all the forms of attune-
ment and attachment. There's a politics to ways of watching and
waiting for something to happen and to forms of agency - to how
the mirage of a straightforward exercise of will is a flag waved in
one situation and a vicious, self-defeating deflation in another (as
when someone of no means has a get-rich-quick daydream-a
daydream to be free at last-that ends them up in jail). There's a
politics to difference in itself-the difference of danger, the differ-
ence of habit and dull routine, the difference of everything that
matters.

The hard, resilient need to react has become a charged habit.

For her, it started early. Because she was a girl. Because her
family, like all families, built its skin around dramas and luminous
little tales with shiny scenes and vibrant characters. And because
the storytellers kept track of what happened to everyone-the
ends they came to. (Which, of course, were never good.)
The social and natural worlds could be seen through the out-
lines of impacts suffered.
They registered, literally, in a kind of hauntedness, a being
weighed down, a palpable reaction.
 ::e--:-.::1(he vari-
-:: -=-:-:.-: first step
... - =._::'=::':1of what
_ :::-=--,::1 IO react .
. : = . w impacts
.- ..:".:::r scheming
': :': :::::",'of attune-
: --,.-.aching and
:' .:...::::=-:,:\'-tohow
. ~ -=,L.-::-~ waved in
_______
- -::",::::. another (as
,= _=:: Ja\'dream-a
_:-.:".·lj). There's a
.:.::."-:".::er,
the differ-
: --::'~er:'thing that
- :. -: Te-edhabit.
',-,-~.;rl.Because her
'::':e--::asand luminous
.T.::.:.:.==-:rs. And because
- :-: - ::.::.=0 everyone- the
,'" - ~-.'ere-ood.)
- - --- t:l
:::::::.c:hrough the out-
For years now her early childhood has been coming back to her as
shocks of beauty, or beautiful shocks.
She remembers her kindergarten class walking back from
Woolworth's, carrying a box of furry yellow chicks. The look of
red tulips standing upright in her mother's garden is married to
the taste of found raspberries and tart rhubarb ripped out of the
ground when no one was looking and eaten with a spoonful of
dirt.
The scene of her mother in a beautiful black dress and red lip-
stick getting ready to go out cuts to the brilliant blood exploding
from the face of the boy next door when he fell from a cliff and
landed face down on the cement in front of her. Then the scene
cuts to the rhythm of shocks, days later, as her father and the other
men tear the cliff apart boulder by boulder. Each time one hits
the ground it shakes the glasses in the pantry with an impact that
seems transformative.
There is a spectral scene of her little brother hunched over
something in the row of pine trees that hug the house. She passes
him on the way to school; on the way back at lunchtime, there is
the sight of the house in flames and the driveway full of fire trucks
with flashing red lights. The phrase "playing with matches" seems
to be written across the blue sky in huge, white, cloud letters.
Or there is the day that all of her grandparents come to visit and
they are floating up the treacherous driveway in a big, wide car.
Then the wheels are sliding off the icy edge and the big car lurches
to the edge of the cliff and hangs suspended. The white heads in
the back seat sit very still while she runs, yelling for help.
There are her fingers crushed in the milk door on the landing,
her screams stifled in a panic to keep the secret that there are wild Ordinary life, too. -=-:-~.
rabbits running around in the cellar. arrest. Stilllifes punc~_~'::
Sunday drives are ice cream cones dripping down sticky fingers with ribbons and wir::: ;:'-:
in the back seat and the wordless theft of the baby's cone, silent in the back seat of d'.:: ;::.: .c
tears running down fat cheeks. There is the unspoken agreement lake, the collection c,c' :'c. c~:
among the older kids not to alert the front seat. after a hike in the ffiC_C. ~"--:
There's the dreamy performance at the VFW hall. Her sister is in the closet, the mccc.O:C.
the "cancan" girl covered in clanking cans, and she's the "balloon lurch into view wi~:,,-c .~
girl" dancing in floating plastic spheres to the lyrics of "Itsy Bitsy out when a strange CC."--'-- .. O:
Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" while everyone laughs. perience that pull a~c c -,-.c_"-
Later, there are Saturday mornings spent fidgeting at her frame.
grandmother's table while her mother and her aunts tell graphic A still life is a sta:::c :~.c':
stories prompted by the seemingly simple work of remembering nance. A quivering ;c. ~.-.:: _
kinship ties and married names-stories of alcoholism, accidents, gives the ordinary th:: cc_,,--';
violence, and cancers. It is the intensity :c cc. ::
There are the nights walking the streets with her mother, peer- or a glitch in the proi::cc --::
ing into picture windows to catch a dreamy glimpse of scenes at a life. Or a simple sw:::: ._.;:
rest or a telltale detail out of place. A lamp by a reading chair or a When a still life lC~C;: ~::
shelf of knickknacks on the wall, a chair overturned. a shock or as some .~=.:~. - -
So still, like a postcard. of sheer pleasure-2.r: _cc_:
feeling. Or an alibi c'cc =-- :
insanity folded into c~_:: ::::
can be a flight from L_CC.C'.c
strategies of carrying 'c."-
A still is a state of calm, a lull in the action. But it is also a machine It can turn the self :-.~: c
hidden in the woods that distills spirits into potency through a
process of slow condensation.
In painting, a still life is a genre that captures the liveness of in-
animate objects (fruit, flowers, bowls) by suspending their sensory
beauty in an intimate scene charged with the textures of paint and There was a time ,,'le::c. ~_-_0:
desire. traipsing around sme..:.-=-.--C.
Hitchcock was a master of the still in film production. A simple vation and faded be2.:':"C'-:--.
pause of the moving camera to focus on a door or a telephone ornate, stone-cut Geccc.-'-C. c _
could produce a powerful suspense. now hosting gift shcF'
_- -- ~~--~, Ordinary life, too, draws its charge from rhythms of flow and
~, - - --_'-..~ that there are wild
arrest. 5tilllifes punctuate its significance: the living room strewn
me: :.-:::: _=_0:: -:lawn sticky fingers with ribbons and wine glasses after a party, the kids or dogs asleep
- ----- ;~ babv's cone, silent in the back seat of the car after a great (or not so great) day at the
- - ,
-~_~~:lspoken agreement lake, the collection of sticks and rocks resting on the dashboard
after a hike in the mountains, the old love letters stuffed in a box
'1.::: ~- ~ 0 hall. Her sister is
-:=T in the closet, the moments of humiliation or shock that suddenly
~_i she's the "balloon lurch into view without warning, the odd moments of spacing
- - : ~ :nics of "Itsy Bitsy out when a strange malaise comes over you, the fragments of ex-
~,~ __:~ 'everyone laughs. perience that pull at ordinary awareness but rarely come into full
I: ,-- '- fidgeting at her
':: ~:-H
frame.
Ii: ':_-"- - :-:-_:- ~_~raunts tell graphic A still life is a static state filled with vibratory motion, or reso-
-:: _0 -,'-,erk of remembering nance. A quivering in the stability of a category or a trajectory, it
::: .:c:::oholism,accidents, gives the ordinary the charge of an unfolding.
It is the intensity born of a momentary suspension of narrative,
l!I: 00:' -<::, her mother,
peer- or a glitch in the projects we call things like the self, agency, home,
e: _ ::- ~c--.-_-- dimpse of scenes at a life. Or a simple stopping.
1::: - :.--.- ::::"~ a reading chair or a When a still life pops up out of the ordinary, it can come as
~r:urned. a shock or as some kind of wake-up call. Or it can be a scene
of sheer pleasure-an unnamed condensation of thought and
feeling. Or an alibi for all of the violence, inequality and social
insanity folded into the open disguise of ordinary things. Or it
can be a flight from numbing routine and all the self-destructive
strategies of carrying on.
"3 '..Itit is also a machine It can turn the self into a dreaming scene, if only for a minute.
=_:0 potency through a

u- -_-.:.- ::.:.:::~::eSthe liveness of in-

:: ;~';,ending their sensory
ILL: _ - _ =_-_ -=-.-_; textures of paint and
=_ ==_rf_ :,roduction. A simple
:: =_ -,--door or a telephone
There was a time when the two women would go on day trips,
traipsing around small Texas towns in various states of preser-
vation and faded beauty. There were town squares rimmed with
ornate, stone-cut German buildings from the nineteenth century,
now hosting gift shops or a local campaign headquarters. There
were serendipitous scenes like the cafe that featured pies piled
high with whipped cream and butter icing and where the waitress
described every ingredient in supple, loving detail. Or the antique
shop where a woman with big hair and a big accent described the
ancient armoires and gilded birdcages that went for a song at last
night's auction. People came from all around and left with their
arms full.
There was the little police station where the two women went
to find a public bathroom. A group of men in uniform talking
about fishing stopped and stared at them for a long minute. Then
a woman kindly took them behind the desk.
There was the weeping icon in a monastery on a dusty hill
where the women had to choose wrap-around skirts and head-
scarves from a big box by the door before they could be ushered
The potential SIO~C'=
_:-
into the chapel.
and relays.
There was the time they saw two teenage girls ride bareback
Fleeting and alT.,:-~:-:
into town, leaving their horses untethered behind the dry goods
emergent assemblc.SC',~ =-"
store while they got ice cream cones.
Yet it can be as :' c-: c., =
The day-tripping had struck other people's fancy too. There was
Potentiality is c. ,:-' __~
a day trips column in the weekly entertainment paper. There were
perience and dreae. :,', ':
local travel books to take along to help recall the name of the
nary, it engenders c.':'- = ~
fabulous barbeque place with the great pork chops or the authen-
unfolding of thins:s.
tic Mexican cantina tucked away on a side street. The New York
Times had started a weekly section of the paper called "escapes."
But the two women's traipsing seemed intensely private, and
special. Its concrete pleasures and compulsions held the dream
of being "in" a life- its rhythms, its stopping to contemplate still People are collec:::-~ ~'
lifes. They could rest their eyes on the scenes they happened into. metaphorical side ::: =-. =
They would pick up little tidbits to bring home: Czech pastries, ,he loop or ha,'e 0e=__ =~
some peanut brittle, a butter dish in the shape of a sleeping cat. :r' thev are the k 'c
/
2
.•..
~••.•.
~--- '2 '.
_._1.

Cabins covered in creeping vines took on the solid ephemerality The snatchins ::= c.:- =.
of an inhabited place. Local characters flickered in and out of view something) wid: :.--:'C' =.'
like dream figures. The women would drift into a feeling of possi- ::-ipping over a ba~;c-'
bility and rest. are happening too.
 It was certainly not small-town values or clean living they were
~~'= ::-.lI featured pies piled
after, but rather the way that the synesthetic web of fabulated
!ll-=~ :_:"z lnd whete the waitress
sights and tastes made scenes and objects resonate. It was as if
1C'::'= ,.' detail. Or the antique
_:"Z
they could dwell in the ongoing vibrancy of the ordinary, leaving
~... =,~ig
:..--_::.accent described the
_=_

out the dullness and possible darkness.

0..:.-== -=---,_=_~ ;..-ent for a song at last
The imaginary still lifes they carried home from their forays
--'--.::.~:::':ld and left with their
held the simple but profound promise of contact.
And the charged particularity of the objects, images, and events
c~c ~~e twO women went
encountered framed the importance of making implicit things
,: :-:-,=:" in uniform talking
- 0 lono- minute. Then matter.
- - b

c - • ::._-,-,~en-
on a dusty hill
lilt --~.::':ld skirts and head-
lil -=~'.~e ~-_e;:could be ushered The potential stored in ordinary things is a network of transfers
and relays.
! --;, -::::::. ::.z:::-
girls ride bareback Fleeting and amorphous, it lives as a residue or resonance in an
IJC,'=-=--::::e::. :::,::-hindthe dry goods emergent assemblage of disparate forms and realms of life.
tn,:: Yet it can be as palpable as a physical trace.
£1:' ::':c.::' ,=' rillcy too. There was Potentiality is a thing immanent to fragments of sensory ex-
~ ,- _- '-,~.::-:lIpaper. There were perience and dreams of presence. A layer, or layering to the ordi-
- ::.::' :::-.:::.11
the name of the nary, it engenders attachments or systems of investment in the
, ::.'•~:: :hops or the authen- unfolding of things.
, ::.= oueet. The New York
EC =--, e ::.::.:'e: ca11ed" escapes. "
-

-::- ~ i-:'.Ienselyprivate, and

-:: __'i!Jns held the dream
People are collecting found objects snatched off the literal or
- , ::.':::,-z to contemplate still
metaphorical side of the road. Things that have dropped out of
e : ~;-.::-s~ they happened into.
the loop or have been left sagging somewhere are dragged home as
- :,::.,z :-.ome: Czech pastries,
if they are the literal residues of past dreaming practices.
i:c: - :.-:: ':-.dpe of a sleeping cat.
The snatching practice mixes a longing for a real world (or
e ".••:"~:le solid ephemerality
something) with the consumer's little dream of spying a gem or
r'c:-: =-=_.:::::-:-ed in and out of view
tripping over a bargain. And in the mix, all kinds of other things
.. ::. ::.::.~-=-: i:lLOa feeling of possi-
are happening too.
Andrew, out scavenging the neighborhood, finds a letter written
in 1914 by an old woman to her nephew going to medical school.
It's like a letter in a bottle. A curiosity piece. People like to look at
it and hold its yellowed stationary in their hands.

Sunday nnd dawned dazzlingly fair but still too cold for comfort.
However, I braved the blast to give a birthday greeting to a friend-a
Dutch woman born in Holland, whose cake blazed with one hun-
dred candles. I took as a little offering a pretty birthday card and
a box of orange blossoms. The beautiful sprays were cut from rwo
trees of the Louisiana orange I bought and my daughter Faith and I
planted ourselves three years ago. The cold seems not to have touched
them and I learn that this tree will live and thrive in a temperature
of eighteen degrees. Well, the lady in attendance on the sweet cente-
narian selected a tiny wreath of the fragrant white buds and blossoms
nestling in the glossy green leaves, and pinned it on the black silk cap
of the old, old lady. The room was crowded-everyone applauded
and the recipient was charmed. The first orange blossoms she had
worn since her young girlhood's marriage.
I trust all this doesn't bore your majesty-crowned with the Ordinary scenes ca~ ~e::-::
weighty and mighty honor of rwenty-one years! I'm glad you have to
story let out of the ~~; .
work-a boy is gravely handicapped who has a well-filled purse. God Matter can shic:-::.e:: c
speed you to a true and worthy success! No matter ifI do believe that weight of received C~~~~_
work-honorable work-is the salt that savors life, had I money I'd One day she's\\'aL=-:_-_:: :.-~
fill your purse, I would. As it is-keep your dawn unsullied-and
California (where, a' :':--:
work for your purpose.
the trash cans sit c:-_ --
rows"). She comes a:::
The strangely vibrant rhetoric of the letter makes it a "some- parked at the curb
thing" in itself, as if it could embody the conventions of a past door are the word: .~
time and yet also defYcapture. your-face attitude. :~: a:
 ~.:-_~s a letter written Her neighbor advertises his moving sale in the paper. He's got
~_;: ~ J' medical schooL quality items: a new couch, oak bookshelves, and major appli-
- " ~-~J:,le tike to look at ances. By seven AM a hundred people are gathered outside the
gates. It's a tense and strangely vital scene as strangers, bent on
getting stuff, half bond and half vie for the best place to rush the
~: ':' cold for comfort.
gates when they open. One man goes and gets coffee and donuts
-
-_.
c-oo-;no-
:-- - - ----0
to a friend-a
to share. A woman and her daughter strategize about how to reach
__:: : _:2ed with one hun-
before anyone else both the media console sitting at the far end
: '::-=-:- birthday card and
of the yard and the washing machine propped up on a dolly in
: -.:--, ',':ere cut from two
the driveway. A grandmother is a habitual yard-saler. She laughs
: - '::':clghter Faith and I
about how it got so bad she had to buy a pickup truck and build
_ _,~_, :Lotto have touched
a second garage to store all the stuff.
. ' :. ~.-.::
__
:e in a temperature
Now bodies begin to maneuver and align. When the gates open
- .. :.:.:-_::: 0:1 the sweet cente-
at eight they rush in. By ten, everything has been carted away.
_-._~::
Duds and blossoms
. - c:' _~Jr, the black silk cap
:.~:.- ::-,-eryone applauded
: :.'.ze blossoms she had

Ordinary scenes can tempt the passerby with the promise of a

"-- crowned with the
:-:':' =':11 glad you have to
. =-- .:-ell-filled purse. God
-:-.:-:-::::if! do believe that
: :'it'<e, had I money I'd
...: '::':"\"nunsullied-and
: ::-:-::::makes it a "some-
-.':: :.-':1Yentionsof a past
story let out of the bag.
Matter can shimmer with undetermined potential and the
weight of received meaning.
One day she'swalking through the gated communities ofIrvine,
California (where, as some who can't afford to live there, say, "All
the trash cans sit on doilies and all the weeds grow in perfect
rows"). She comes across a late-model, fire-engine-red Ford sedan
parked at the curb on a cul-de-sac. Sprawled across the driver's
door are the words "PMS POWERED." A snazzy car with an in-
your-face attitude, it back talks the social snickering of PMS jokes.
She imagines the car driving around town as the moving scene of
an attitude adjustment.
But when she walks around the car, she sees that both tires
on that side are missing. The car is actually listing on one hastily
placed jack left either by thieves in a hurry or by the harried car-
owner in the middle of a compound problem. Now the car be-
comes another kind of thing. More complicated. Perched on the
unpredictable or unimagined edge of the ordinary, it takes on
the full charge of potential's two twisted poles-up or down, one
thing or another. It sparks in the tension between drudgery and
routine-the barely holding on-and the flash of event.

She's driving across the Texas Panhandle with a friend. A hotel

rises up out of the cotton fields like a mirage in the middle of
nowhere. They stop for the night. There is only the hotel, a gas
station, and a truck stop surrounded by fields and highways as far
as you can see.
They float in the big family pool in the lobby atrium. It's full of
exotic plants. Two stairways cascade down from the balconies on
the second and third floors. A few people are eating in the restau-
rant. The bar on the second floor is empty. The scene is a little flat,
dead, not quite right. It's like an imitation mall in a place where
mall culture has not quite taken off yet, even though the whole
thing looks so five minutes ago relative to more urban-suburban-
exurban places. It's like a partially realized (or, in other words,
failed) miracle. A fantasy tentacle floating in the stormy placidity
of the nowhere of dully compelling force peppered by dreams of
getting out or something.
They walk across the street to the Rip Griffin truck stop. Half a
dozen old men are sitting at the counter telling stories, bragging,
and making public performances out of teasing each other. She
 imagines their homes in a small town somewhere out of sight
across the fields, and how they must come to sit in this place
==0~hat both tires because it's connected to "the road" and the real and imagined
~~=-_~on one hastily modes of traveling that ride its back. The scene has the moving
~ =-- =~,,-e
harried car- stillness of an apparition of some kind of life marked as southern,
e -:-_ ~~'-JW the car be- or western, or rural, or small town, or ranch, or something.
:c -=~ Perched on the As the two women walk in, the old men turn to look, stopping
: ~~ lIl-, it takes on in mid sentence. They hold the silent stare for what seems to her
_ - ''':':J or down, one like a shockingly long time. Then they return to their business bur
=0-:-'=:-:1drudgery and they keep shooting looks back at them, obviously aware not so
much of having an audience, she thinks, as of having some kind
of potential to plumb from the scene of the two women traveling
together. As if strangers entering from the highway bring some-
thing with them. Or at least "strange" strangers in the middle of
some kind of situation or event.
_=_-_ 1 friend. A hotel A few years later, she stops again. The truck stop has become
- ~e-.::::- i:1 the middle of a shiny yellow mini mall with a Pizza Hut, a Burger King, and a
: =-_> the hotel, a gas southern fast food place called Grandy's. It stinks of plastic. The
::..:l..,d highways as far old men have migrated to the hotel restaurant, which is now full
of people and loud with banter. Everyone is smoking. There's only
: = =-- atrium. It's full of a tiny nonsmoking section tucked away in an isolated corner.
- ~::-::l the balconies on The hotel pool is closed to guests because there's a wedding. On
~-
-0 ~:-in ab in the restau-
_~l
the way back to her room, she stops to watch. The bride descends
--=-.-:- oceneis a little flat, the open stairway. The pool has been decorated with tea lights,
- .--:=~lin a place where so it takes on the glamorous glow of a mini Taj Mahal. The men
::-=-_ though the whole in the wedding party all wear black cowboy hats and boots, black
.--:-::e urban-suburban- jeans, and white shirts. The ceremony is brief and the reception
::::. 'Of. in other words, that follows consists of sheet cake, potluck dinner, and nonalco-
~ = _=- =hestormy placidity holic drinks. It seems unbelievably subdued for a wedding .
. ~~ =- =??ered by dreams of When she returns one last time a few years later, the hotel looks
old and rundown. Her room smells of smoke and mold. The res-
.:-~~:==~n
truck stop. Half a taurant has closed. The hotel manager says it's too bad but they
.-:- :=_:i:1gstories, bragging, just can't keep good help. "They go back on welfare."
- -~:,ina
. - -~ L:l
each other. She She crosses the street to the truck stop where an industrious
young woman in uniform is washing the floors in the yellow food
court. The young woman takes the trouble to ask the cook at
the Grandy's to make another steak even though it's technically
closing time.
She reads the local paper as she eats. A man is found not guilty
by reason of insanity in his dad's murder. Turns out he's been
having auditory and visual hallucinations for more than twenty
years. A bridge has collapsed and divers have recovered more
bodies from the river. There has been a head-on collision of two
trains. No one knows how the two trains got on the same track.
A bolt of lightning has killed a twelve-year-old boy. A few of the
high school graduates are receiving small scholarships of $200 or
$300, there are winning lottery numbers, the author of the Nancy

Drew detective series dies at ninety-six, the authorities say it was

a feud that led to the slaying of a South Texas man who had been
shot and dragged by his ankles several blocks behind a pick-up
truck. Two men are arrested for stealing street signs after the
police receive a tip, a man reports someone putting water in the
gas tank of his vehicle, a woman reports subjects dumping dead
animals and trash in two vacant lots, two gas station clerks report
gas drive-offs in the amounts of $9.30 and $3.00.
As she leaves, she reads the community bulletin boards by the
door. There are people looking for odd jobs. There are ads for
exercise classes, diet pills ("I lost 40 pounds in three months!").
There are a lot of ads for used cars ('84 Lincoln Continental, fully
loaded). There are public service announcements for low-income
services, a domestic abuse hotline, and the Texas runaway hot- A world of shared bc.:-_,-
line. There are pictures of missing children. There are legal ads hausting underw\\-,
("traffic ticket problems?"), church ads (Full Gospel Holy Temple picture of staged pc:-:-'= ::. -
Broadcast of Deliverance), ads for medical insurance, and baseball sense of shock or re~:,,:'~: :-
schedules. A weirdly floati:1[
These are only glimpses of a public culture shifting over time. enters a mall, or \Y::',,:-,
Partial scenes saturated with expectations, impressions too easily nds, watching scene, _:-.::
 : ~, ~:-~[he yellow food
- ~e ::: ask the cook at
~: :- :.-~ :":'§=Q it's technically
- -~.~, ~ound not guilty
: e' -=-
..:.
••.
r~sout he's been
lII;:,:L!:. - ~': ~ ..-::-lore
than twenty
-~~~:'recovered more
- :' c':'- ::: collision of two
1lIIi" - ~ :: ::: ~:1[he same track.
::-~-:.: bov. A few of the
::- ~.-,-••.
ships of $200 or
~- e ~..:.:horof the Nancy
~- e ~":'::1oritiessay it was
-:-:':=--, ~an who had been
: :::~ behind a pick-up
h1" ~~_ -; ::"':'cI signs after the
. -:' -..-..:.rring
water in the
_••.:'ccs dumping dead
;:..: 'c~cion clerks report
- - ~~~:,dn boards by the
: :c,. There are ads for
- _.::' ~:-.three months!").
- ::: .:-~Continental, fully
_~-:e::::':-~:stor low-income
-: ~-:' -=-:,:\:a5runaway hot-
::e:c. -~lere are legal ads
-::__~:;ospel Holy Temple
::.'..:.
••.
ance, and baseball
~_ ••.
_~:'shifting over time.
.:::~
?ressions too easily
gathered into a narrative of social decline (or whatever). These
Boating images do not begin to approach what might be happen-
ing to the ordinary in this time or place. It's just that the images
strike her, seem to unfold into a puzzle's pieces or to promise some
direct line into what's happening somewhere-in some place, this
little corner in the cotton fields. You could say, of course, that the
images that strike her in passing hide as much as they reveal. But
you could also say they mean only exactly what they say- Look at
this! Imagine that! Things happen! Here's something that might
be for you! It's the paying attention that matters - a kind of atten-
tion immersed in the forms of the ordinary but noticing things
too.
By now, Rip Griffin has a Web site with the headline "A family
owned and operated business." It's a corporate myth with mean-
ings that Bash. "Since the early days of the Pony Express rider ...
evolved into modern travel centers ... Rip Griffin started his
corporation with a one-pump gasoline station it has since
grown to a $250 million company ... with Truck and Travel
Centers in Texas, New Mexico, Colorado, California, Arizona,
Wyoming and Arkansas." But no one who enters the truck stop
for a coke or a meal cares about the Web site or corporate mean-
ings per se.
A world of shared banalities can be a basis of sociality, or an ex-
hausting undertow, or just something to do. It can pop up as a
picture of staged perfection, as a momentary recognition, or as a
sense of shock or relief at being "in" something with others.
A weirdly Boating "we" snaps into a blurry focus when one
enters a mall, or when one is Bipping through reality Tv chan-
nels, watching scenes unfold: the simulated thunderstorms tacked
onto the national map on the weather channel; the bedroom
transformed into an exotic dream room on the extreme-makeover
shows; or the meal made like magic on the cooking channel.
The animate surface of ordinary affects rests its laurels in the
banality of built environments and corporate cliches.
The "we" incites participation and takes on a life of its own,
even reflecting its own presence.8 It's a thing that happens when
e-mails with joking commentary show up in your in-box and you
pass them on for some reason. Or when intimate public slogans
float into a collective mode of address: "Know what I'm sayin'?"
"That's just wrong," "I don't THINK so," "That's what I'm talkin'
about," "I hear you," "It's all good." Or when bumper stickers talk
back to each other as if they can't help it: "Shit happens," "Magic
happens," "My child is an honor student," "My child beat up your
honor student," "Just say no," "Just do it," "Vote Bush," "I voted
for Bush and got Dick," "Bush is a punk ass chump," "Bush bin
Lyin'."

We take our cues so directly from circulating forces that the term
"hardwired" has become shorthand for the state of things.
Little undulations are felt as pleasures and warning signs, as
intoxications and repetitions in daily routine.

In "July Mountain.
incipient universe.

Weirdly collective sensibilities seem to pulse in plain sight.

A woman shows up at her door in the middle of the afternoon.

8 See MichaelWarner, Publics and Counterpublics (NewYork:Zone

Books, 1997).
 ____
, ,ne bedroom
-_-~ ~::,,;:me-makeover
: ::-~_~channel.
. _ :: _:s laurels in the
• - -'.~ile of its own,
- ~ :--_-'.:happens when
• _, i::l-box and you
, - -_-'.:;: public slogans
'I'
-'-,_at . '""1"
m saym,
---'.:' 'i,-hat I'm talkin'
: - - _"'_:Jer stickers talk
-__: _-_-'.:Jpens,""Magic
_ ::-_ild beat up your
-::;: Bush," "I voted
:,_'.:.mp," "Bush bin
She and her husband are thinking of buying the big house across
the street. She wants to know if anyone in the neighborhood uses
chemicals on their lawns, or if anyone uses dryer sheets.
At first, she has to ask the woman what a dryer sheet is. But
then images pop into her head: the sweet smell of dryer sheets
coming in with the breeze on a cloudless day, the bright blue sky
and the flowers in the yards, the little orange flags sticking up out
of the grass at the schoolyard, warning that chemicals have been
sprayed, the ChemLawn trucks parked up on widows' hill in front
of the places with the big lawns.
She mutters a shorthand version of these things to the woman
standing at her door, but really all it takes is a look and the woman
is gone, leaving little seeds of anxiety to sprout.

The ordinary throws itself together out of forms, flows, powers,

pleasures, encounters, distractions, drudgery, denials, practical
solutions, shape-shifting forms of violence, daydreams, and op-
portunities lost or found.
Or it falters, fails.
"-z ~: ,:es that the term
But either way we feel its pull.
-, :-'.::: of things .
.:.".: -,'.-arning signs, as

In "July Mountain," Wallace Stevens describes the poetics of an

incipient universe.

_:: _'" plain sight. We live in a constellation

.:::'~eof the afternoon. Of patches and pitches,
Not in a single world ...
The way, when we climb a mountain,
Vermont throws itself together.
 The "Vermont" that throws itself together in a moment is al- It's an odd scene-c~~-=-~~
ready there as potential. In other words, it's already problema- ing about her work=-.:=,:.::
tized; already a question and a something waiting to happen. It not obsessive abom :=: " -
exists in the differences and repetitions of a grab bag of quali- pulls out bottles o:',:=-=---=-
-
ties and technologies that can be thrown together into an event of these when I w~:~ _: :.'J

and a sensation. It is a potential mapping of disparate and in- noon. These are gooc :':: :::
commensurate qualities that do not simply "add up" but instead lotions and rubs the~~ ~..
link complexly, in difference and through sheer repetition and He maintains a c-=-:~~_
not through the enclosures of identity, similarity, or meaning, or to be going well for ~.~~
through the logic of code. It is fall colors, maple syrup, tourist A few minutes lace:
brochures, calendars, snow, country stores; liberalism and yet the biscuit man, "Of co-.::::
fight over gay marriage; racial homogeneity and yet everywhere nodding. "Of course, :.
white lesbian couples with babies of color; the influx of New York and gravy. His eyes ',' -=-.:-,
:::: ,
wealth long ago rushing in to shore up that certain look of rolling the range of possible :c":: ::'
hills and red barns and yet also the legacy of the dairy industry plate and eats.
written onto the landscape and property laws; and the quirkiness, She wonders hO'o-, -.
quaintness, dullness, and! or violence of village life in this time before Internet dar:L~
and place. The question is not where, exactly, this Vermontness local newspaper. i\ k: ~"O'
came from - its "social construction," strictly speaking- but the aged people in the (,y...:: =-
moment when a list of incommensurate yet mapped elements Just to see what ,,'OL.: ,':::
throws itself together into something. Again. One time among right, even though ":, .
many. An event erupting out of a series of connections express-
ing the abstract idea- Vermontness-through a fast sensory relay.
Disparate things come together differently in each instance, and
yet the repetition itselfleaves a residue like a track or a habit-the
making of a live cliche. Face-to-face interac=:::.
quick relay to floati:::=:::' -
tion that link us.
In Las Vegas in r}~e~-=-
==:
ad hoc storefront wir~~-=- =.:
She stops in at a cafe on a town square in Ohio. with eclectic inexpeLs:: :='
Two middle-aged people sit awkwardly together at the next and store are closed -'~:
table. A thin, blonde, carefully tanned woman is having a grape- uses the space.
fruit while the heavy-set, pasty man is eating biscuits and gravy. In one meeting a .
, ~ ,~, -'-:noment is al- It's an odd scene-clearly their first meeting. The woman is talk-
",-~::--,-d~'
problema- ing about her workout schedule and what she eats. She says she's
~_:_~c;TO happen. It not obsessive about it but she likes to keep her body in shape. She
_ :::--,-:,bag of quali- pulls out bottles of vitamins and herbal supplements. "I take two
~=~~::-~into an event of these when I wake up, these are with meals, these in the after-
---=.-':Jarateand in- noon. These are good for energy if! feel a little low." She takes out
~~'::''':'F''but instead lotions and rubs them into her skin .
. :=~rc:petition and He maintains a careful look of interest. But things don't seem
',I'I,r meaning, or to be going well for him.
=-'-; i::- ,nup, tourist A few minutes later she hears the grapefruit woman say to the
. ~:-~:,:n and yet the biscuit man, "Of course, you'd have to lose thirty pounds." He's
- ",--, ~ :.'c:teverywhere nodding. "Of course, oh yes." He's looking down at his biscuits
" = ,~_=-..:.s of New York and gravy. His eyes wander around the table at a level well below
::'-:-'-~,look of rolling the range of possible eye contact. Then he lowers his head over his
-- =__,:': dairy industry plate and eats.
",--.
~ :he quirkiness, She wonders how these two people found each other. This is
....=~= .J:~ in this time before Internet dating, so maybe they used personal ads in the
::,:=~, Vermontness local newspaper. Maybe they were the only two single, middle-
'-~:Jina-but
' __- b the aged people in the county. Whatever it was, it was an experiment.
.' :-:'-,-ppedelements Just to see what would happen. And things were happening, all
=-":1C: time among right, even though "it" was so "not happening."
~.~.c:;::rions express-
_;. -'-I~'t sensory relay.
. ::--,-=h instance, and
r-=.::.=,-~
or a habit-the
Face-to-face interactions and common encounters jump in a
quick relay to floating sensibilities and the conditions of connec-
tion that link us.
In Las Vegas in the late 1980s, a post office outpost shares an
ad hoc storefront with a flower shop and a gift shop sparsely filled
with eclectic inexpensive ceramics. At noon, when the post office
.::.
: zc:.::.her
at the next and store are closed for lunch, a color therapy group sometimes
- ~_ ~,having a grape- uses the space.
-; ~is;::uitsand gravy. In one meeting a dozen people sit in a circle on gray-metal
folding chairs. One man is talking about a relationship problem might begin to piece to§:~~:-~~ :
that has something to do with the fact that he's a magenta. The making things up.
people in the group respond with intricate discussions of the But the people \'vhe ~: ~=;
shades of color and color combinations that connect different colors as symbols or coC~,. -=-~-:
personal energies and styles. Then a young woman begins to talk colors and what the\,-G:':-~ .~: -:-
about a problem at work that stems from her being a yellow. They're fooling arounc "-
Now alternative health practitioners and mystics advertise color are made of Theywam ~::~ ~
therapy on the Web. They use colored gemstones, candles, wands, talking things over witt
prisms, light bulbs, water, fabrics, bath treatments, and eyewear
to balance the body's energy and stimulate healing. Each color has
a vibrational frequency; warm colors are stimulating; cool colors
are calming; a strong attraction to certain colors might signal a
particular imbalance. Meanwhile, down the ,,:::~
You can playa game with color codes if you want to. Red is that the color therap:~ g:: _~
active, daring, passionate, and optimistic. Red people are coura- cal factory explodes ac": :.
geous, confident, humanistic, strong-willed, spontaneous, hon- Nevada.
est, and extroverted. Purple is grand, idealistic, and sensitive, but The FEMA hearincr, - -: c'
t:'~ '-- --::-

may lack self-criticism and maturity. Purple people make good Small businesses have
inspirational leaders. They are kindly and just, humanitarian, self- carrying dangerous ch::-:~~:
sacrificing, visionary, creative, and strong mentally. Magenta is of backyards where in=--~:..:
~__~ _
less aggressive and more spiritual than red and also more practi- big business operations '_:::: -
cal than purple. Yellow is intellectual and communicative. Yellow of callous disregard for ~:.~_:: ~
people are good-humored, optimistic, confident, practical, and She starts talking \,,~:
t:-.~~-:~:
intellectual. owners. He feels sligh'::": ::' _
You can imagine yourself through the model of one of the frontations with local F=~~ ~~: ~
types. Or against it. Maybe you'd like to be orange. Orange is are fights. They're diggi=--.;:. ~ ::
more ambitious and self-sufficient than red, but lacks its warmth. voting his life to the C2':": ::-::
It has the intelligence of yellow without its loftiness. Orange distance phone calls :',:'- -
people are enthusiastic, happy, sociable, energetic, sporty, self- unearth stories: the vo':'=--~~ -..:.
assured, and constructive. But then you might think you're actu- poisonous snakes in i:, :::c"--=
ally probably closer to a green. And that's on a good day. Green everything in the blast: ~~-~:
'~-
is healing, sympathetic, steadfast, and restrained. Green people looking for peace or sc:-:~::_-_~
are understanding, self-controlled, adaptable, sympathetic, com- sound of windows and
passionate, humble, generous, nature loving, and romantic. You and the smell of gas.
 __ - : :-_,~ipproblem might begin to piece together combinations of colors and blends,
- :-:'2.genta.The
-=--
making things up.
- =-_:-.:-ssionsof the But the people who are really into color therapy don't read
- - -:: -_:-_~;::L different colors as symbols or codes. They're into the real surface qualities of
-- : -~~(Tins
_0·--- -'-:::-
to talk colors and what they can do. They don't care what colors "mean."
,- -:~_:-_:2.nllow. They're fooling around with the forces that be, to see what things
::' 2.dnrtise color are made of. They want to set things in alchemical motion. They're
_, -:2.-1dles,wands, talking things over with like-minded people. You never know.
, - ~:-_:O. and eyewear
, __,-_: Each color has
- _-=--:::-.~: cool colors
::' Tight signal a
Meanwhile, down the street, at practically the very same moment
: _ ".am to. Red is that the color therapy group is meeting in the post office, a chemi-
- _=-~~:ple are coura- cal factory explodes and blows up half the town of Henderson,
::: :1:aneous, hon- Nevada.
, - sensitive, but The FEMA hearings drag on for months. There is testimony.
,. c' : ~y::, le make good Small businesses have been ruined by the blast. Unmarked trains
- ~,-.:-~anitarian, self- carrying dangerous chemicals have been running along the edges
..•.c':-.:jl:-. Magenta is of backyards where innocent children play. There's talk of secret
_~=-':":'50 more practi- big business operations supported by the federal government and
_ :-:'_:-:·,'-.:-rricative.
Yellow of callous disregard for future generations.
- ~ =-c':_:,practical, and She starts talking with the de facto leader of the small business
owners. He feels slighted by FEMA. He and the others have con-
-- :::.d of one of the frontations with local politicians. There are sinister threats. There
. : :ange. Orange is are fights. They're digging for dirt and finding plenty. Bob is de-
-:..::~acksits warmth. voting his life to the cause. He spends hundreds of dollars on long
:: ~oftiness. Orange distance phone calls every month. He organizes a campaign to
_:-,~:~c'[ic, sporty, self- unearth stories: the young man who was raising tarantulas and
-~:,: chink you're actu- poisonous snakes in his apartment to pay for college and lost
: :-_2.good day. Green everything in the blast; the retired couple who came to the town
:: 2.-:lcd. Green people looking for peace or something and who awoke that night to the
__ ,-,-mpathetic, com- sound of windows and glass doors smashing all over the house
_ 2.-1dromantic. You and the smell of gas.
 When Bob and the other small business owners get no satisfac- izes his talk has becoT~ -
tion from the government, they decide to take things into their happening. The air gOe'
own hands. They come up with an idea to start over by building moving toward the -, -"
a chemical factory of their own. They already know plenty about leaves the house. He c~.'
manufacturing. This is America and they can do anything. Some- to report on the pro:;~~':
one says he knows an engineer who'll work with them. Now they him on the phone, no: ~~.::
just need someone who knows something about chemicals. ing her distance (too l,,-:~
Things keep getting worse. Bob is calling her every night. Then
he's piecing together a conspiracy too big to talk about over the
phone. She meets him in a church parking lot on the edge of
town. The sunset is spectacular. Bob wants to tell her his life story:
the big, beautiful, wild Nevada of his childhood; hunting and Watching and waitim: ~.-'-:~..
fishing in a pure land; his return, years later, to start his own busi- She's no different f~c~. -'---
ness and raise his children right; then the explosion, just when .mg "pay attentIOn.'
. I" b C::~.:.
he was beginning to get on his feet again. Now there are days he idea.
just wants to end it all. He takes his son fishing up at the lake and Hypervigilance has :-'--':~--
they're floating in a pristine scene. He has his gun with him and pulsives who keep elm:: :::0:,..
he's going to blow his head off. Because he's the kind of guy who, Like the guy she heard "-~: .... :
ifhe comes to the bottom of a mountain, he elimbs it, straight up, life recording everyth:,.~ .-.::_'
no problem, that's just who he is. But the system is throwing up splashed cold water 0" .-:: ~:...
roadblocks in front of him so he can't even get to the mountain to the bathroom, 6:45 m,,-d~ ...::-:. :
dig his heels in and start working. Or there are those ;:~:~:_ ~ :
It's getting dark. He's talking too much about himself. She gan where she and n\·o: :.-.~-:.
says she's talked to other people who have experiences like his houses. The neighbor's::'. ~~.
and think the way he does. This makes him mad (much to her his walks in the woods .. -..: . :J.
surprise). He's an individual. There's no one in the world like him. into Polish folk dances ".-.~:~ .
He isn't like anything. He comes on to her. She gets out of there dance floor together, d-.e~. :.~'':
but now she's anxious and her stomach is queasy. He keeps call- lic church in town. Or.:: ;:: - ,
ing. She visits him once more-this time at his house with his gathered at one of thei~ ~.:..:::
wife and children. There's no furniture left in the house. They sit of himself walking aroc:..~.:.-- ~
on the carpet in the empty living room and eat pizza out of the (At the same time he ~':
box. Everyone's very quiet. It's scary and depressing; there's some- without explanation. -=:-.~.....-::
thing just a little bit "off' and terribly wrong. Now he's mumbling have a nice evening.) _~-=-:~~ :..::.
bitterly about things she can't quite hear and then she half real- home video. They hear ;-.. _ 0:
 -~~:~'get no satisfac-
•.~~~-~incrs
~-- -" - 0
into their
- -.: .:.~.erby building
~:.:-~
.:.'.•.~plenty about
- ~: -=..n\L:hing. Some-
~ - ~_ ~lem. Now they
-< _~ :iemicals.
- :--:~ :""'0' night. Then
.:.~_-:about over the
-; :.:. :m the edge of
.:.:_~",r his life story:
~-_~.:.::.:hunting and
- ~ '.:.-=..:t
his own busi-
=::?" ~5ion, just when
::.~ereare days he
~ : ~.c~
-~ ..:.::'at the lake and
~..:.nwith him and
-_-: ~;:ind of guy who,
= :~~_--:_:'5 it, straight up,
-:.:."':-::-_
is throwing up
-,.:..:.:~'le mountain to
-=-::: y~[ himself. She
:c:riences like his
- ~:-=-i (much to her
- ::.-_C ,,"';oddlike him.
;:-: gets out of there
.:._ c-=..5~". He keeps call-
e':' _-_:, house with his
-- :_~:house. They sit
.- _~-.:. :-=-: Dizza out of the
.
_"=~:c":::lg; h'
teres some-
:- ~".:.'.'.~
he's mumbling
_- ~ ::-c",nshe half real-
izes his talk has become lewd and is directed at her. This can't be
happening. The air goes out of the room. She stands up and starts
moving toward the door. She thanks his now wide-eyed wife. She
leaves the house. He calls only once more, a couple of days later,
to report on the progress of his case with FEMA. She's cool with
him on the phone, not encouraging him to keep in touch. Keep-
ing her distance (too late).
Watching and waiting has become a sensory habit.
She's no different from anyone else. All her life she's been yell-
ing "Pay attentionl" but now she's not so sure that's such a good
idea.
Hypervigilance has taken root. There are the obsessive com-
pulsives who keep close track of everything because they have to.
Like the guy she heard about on the radio who spends his whole
life recording everything he does. "Got up at 6:30 AM, still dark,
splashed cold water on my face, brushed my teeth, 6:40 went to
the bathroom, 6:45 made tea, birds started in at 6:53 ... "
Or there are those like the neighbor on a little lake in Michi-
gan where she and two other anthropologists live in a row oflittle
houses. The neighbor's hobby is video taping every move he makes:
his walks in the woods, his rides in his Model T Ford, his forays
into Polish folk dances where old women go round and round the
dance aoor together, the monthly spaghetti suppers at the Catho-
lic church in town. One night when the three anthropologists are
gathered at one of their houses he stops by to give them a video
of himself walking around the lake in the winter snow and ice.
(At the same time he also gives them an xxx-rated porn video
without explanation. Then he just leaves, saying he hopes they
have a nice evening.) After dinner, they settle down to watch his
home video. They hear his every breath and footstep. There are
some deer droppings on the path and some snow piles that have
suspicious shapes. Then he's walking up to Bob and Alice's cabin
(they're in Florida for the winter) and he's zooming in on a mas-
sive lump pushing out the black plastic wrapped around the base
of the house. Uh-oh. Could be ice from a broken water main.
Maybe the whole house is full of ice. He wonders what will hap-
pen when the (possible) ice thaws. Could be a real problem. He
says maybe he'll send a copy of his video to Bob and Alice down
in Florida. Then he moves on. Back to the breathing, the icicles,
the footsteps in the snow. Things are (potentially) happening and
he is in the habit of paying strict visual attention. But he is not
necessarily in the habit of getting to the bottom of things or of
making a decision or a judgment about what to do. He is making
a record of his own ordinary attention to things and it's this-
the record of his attention-that he shares, indiscriminately, with
the anthropologists gathered next door and maybe with poor Bob
and Alice down in Florida. Possibilities and threats that pop up
in the process remain lodged in the actual look of things and are
preserved as such. He's an extremist, pushing things for some rea-
son, but the close, recorded attention to what happens and to
the intense materiality of things make some kind of sense to a lot
of people and not just when they're watching America's Funniest The anthropologisrs ~:~:=- .:.
Home Videos or reality TV. poking around. The' ~=-.-,-::
There are those who give shape to their everyday by mining huts on the frozen l'e-:-::-=---
it for something different or special. Like her friends, Joyce and sit down on the benc~_ -
Bob, who live in the woods in New Hampshire. He is a lumber- Not even "Who are -::.
jack. She cleans the little I950S tourist cabins with names like Swiss sit together in a wile . .:c-'
Village and Shangri-La. Joyce left her husband and four kids after hole in the ice to the:: ~~=-
years of living straight in a regime of beatings under the sign of a single question that :::~:."
Jesus. She went out the back window one day and never looked When they take \,.-~~:::-
back. Then she met Bob when she was tending bar and they took They are more talLe::--:
a walk on the wild side together that lasted for a dozen happy anthropologists to kr.: -, :",
years (though not without trouble, and plenty of it). She let him some other hunters ""=-: :_
have his drinking problem because he worked hard. He would hit nice. They've been to c: __~::::
 ~~:~'. piles that have
~ ~:: "-red.L'\lice'scabin
: ~_:::_gin on a mas-
": ::::.:."-::oundthe base
c ::::n water main.
:::::
" .:.::::,\\-hat will hap-
_" :::: "- ::::J problem. He
:= ::: "--''1d
Alice down
::::::"-~~ing, the icicles,
- ~"--_- iappening and
_"::~.:~:::".But he is not
- ~-:: ~_ of things or of
- c-:: 20. He is making
-_-__::~:::'and it's this-
::. .:.~,:::::minately,with
_~:--:~:c~~~:: \\~ithpoor Bob
" :: ~-_:::arsthat pop up
~~__ rhings and are
-;: ~-:~::.§:s for some rea-
=~.:.:iappens and to
-- : ~'=-::-.': of sense to a lot
- ".:::_-:'i!{'i'icas Funniest
:~::::-day by mining
~ -::: ~::::nds,Joyce and
::"_.:::. He is a lumber-
_:!" :lames like Swiss
- ..".:. "--=,_d
four kids after
::-;o_:lder the sign of
-: ::.:- ':'Ld never looked
- =_=;::a and they took
~::.:.::-:':a dozen happy
- _" =-~ :::- ir). She let him
: .:._-_ad.He would hit
the bottle when he got home at night and all weekend long. She
called him Daddy even though she was a good ten years older and
pushing fifty.
They moved from rental cabin to rental cabin in the north
woods. They invited raccoons into their cabin as if they were pets.
They got up at 5 AM to write in their diaries. When they got home
at night they would read their daily entries out loud and look at
the artsy pictures Bob took of treetops and bee nests. Finally, they
were able to get a low-income loan to buy a little fixer-upper they
had found in some godforsaken place on the north side of the
lake.
But then a card came from Joyce that said Bob had left her for
"that floozy" he met in a bar.
She wonders if Joyce still keeps a diary, if she still fancies the
serendipitous discovery of happiness and looks for ways to deposit
it in the ordinary, or if something else has happened to her ordi-
nary.
The anthropologists keep doing the fun things they do together,
poking around. They knock on the doors of the little fishermen's
huts on the frozen lake. They invite themselves in for a visit and
sit down on the bench inside. But the fishermen don't say a thing.
Not even "Who are you?" or "What are you doing here?" So they
sit together in a wild, awkward silence staring down through the
hole in the ice to the deep, dark waters below. They can't think of
a single question that makes any sense at all.
When they take walks in the woods, they come across hunters.
They are more talkative than the ice fishermen. They want the
anthropologists to know that they aren't "Bambi killers." Maybe
some other hunters are, but not them, the new breed. They're
nice. They've been to college and have things to say about politics
and the environment and the state. Most of the time there's a
woman in the group. They're teaching her to hunt.
The game wardens are the bad guys. Everyone cowers when
they come around a bend looking for poachers. They drive post-
apocalyptic cars with burned paint that have been specially outfit-
ted with giant guns and spotlights mounted on the hood. Rogue,
mean-looking guys, they fix hard stares on you and you can see
the muscles jump under their camouflage suits. These guys are
Jumpy.

In Austin, joggers passing over the high bridge on the river stop
to stretch their hamstrings on the metal rails. The expansive scene
from the bridge suspends elements together in a still life: fisher-
men sit upright in flat-bottomed boats; giant blue herons perch
on drowned cottonwoods; limestone mansions on the cliffs above
throw reflections halfway across the river. Crew boats glide silently
over the water. A riverboat thrusts itself slowly up the river, dredg-
ing the hard mass of the water up and over its wheel.
At times, the bridge is a stage for human dramas of intimacy,
rage, quiet desperation, or simple pleasure.
One morning a crude sign is taped to the railing. At the top
of the sign, two names, ANGELA AND JERRY, are slashed through
with big black Xs. Below the names, the sign reads: RELATION-
SHIP DESTROYED, WITH MALICE, BY FEDERAL AGENTS & A.P.D.

[Austin Police Department] FOR BELIEFS GUARANTEED UNDER

U.S. CONSTITUTIONAL BILL OF RIGHTS. I MISS YOU ANGELA,

JESSICA, & FURRY DOG It's signed ALWAYS, JERRY. Below

REEF.

the signature, the words YANKEE GIRL are encased in a pierced

heart and the words PLEASE COME BACK are highlighted with a
thick black border. At the bottom of the page, the sign continues:
 ::- ::.,;: time there's a ANGELA, JESSICA AND FURRY DOG REEF ... I MISS YOU. MAY

~_·-':'~lt. GOD HAVE MERCY ON THE SOULS OF THE HATEFUL, VINDIC-

- ==--.Y:lecowers when TIVE PEOPLE WHO CONSPIRED TO TAKE YOU FROM ME, AND

: _:~_=:'.They drive post- DID SO WITH SUCCESS. ANGELA, I WILL LOVE YOU ALWAYS

= ::'een specially outfit- AND FOREVER. I MISS YOU BABE, Then another pierced
JERRY.

_- -=::.: ~_:he hood. Rogue, heart memorializes YANKEE GIRL. On the ground beneath the
- --:~ and you can see sign there is a shrine of yellow ribbons and a Sacred Heart of Jesus
- ;-':'::5. These guys are votive candle with half-burned sticks of incense stuck into the
wax.
The sign is both cryptic and crystal clear. Its fury quivers in its
wavering letters. It does not ask to be interpreted, but heaves itself
at the world, slashing at it like the self-slashing of people who cut
themselves to feel alive. This is a poetics as common as it is strik-
:.. :: ::.~eon the river stop ing. It's the kind of thing you see everyday in the graffiti written
-=-:.,;: expansive scene on train trestles, or in the signs the homeless hold on the side of
::'c -.' ":: _::. a still life: fisher- the road, in the wild talk of AM radio talk shows, in road rage,
::..:....-_:
~lue herons perch in letters to the editor, or in the barely contained resentments of
on the cliffs above
. : ~.S workplaces and intimate spaces .
= :e··· ~oats glide silently This is the ordinary affect in the textured, roughened surface of
.. _-- '",p the river, dredg- the everyday. It permeates politics of all kinds with the demand
=: .:' ",.-heel. that some kind of intimate public of onlookers recognize some-
. -.:....:_:::amas of intimacy, thing in a space of shared impact.9 If only for a minute .
People might be touched by it, or hardened to its obnoxious
::.-. :.:_erailing. At the top demands. But either way, a charge passes through the body and
_ c, dIe slashed through
C lingers for a little while as an irritation, confusion, judgment,
_::.~_
reads: RELATION- thrill, or musing. However it strikes us, its significance jumps.
::.::. :::c_'-.::. .-\GENTS & A.P.D. Its visceral force keys a search to make sense of it, to incorporate
:;- -\R--\NTEED UNDER it into an order of meaning. But it lives first as an actual charge
: '.ass YOU ANGELA, immanent to acts and scenes - a relay.
. ::.<.T-\YS, Below
JERRY.

: _ :..:=encased in a pierced 9 For a discussion of "intimate publics," see Lauren Berlant, The
.:..:ehighlighted with a Queen of America Goes to "Washington City: Essays on Sex and Citizenship.
.• c : :..~e.the sign continues: Durham, N.C.: Duke University Press, 1997.
Affects are not so much forms of signification, or units of knowl- Positions are taken, l:>c~_~:
edge, as they are expressions of ideas or problems performed as wounded.
a kind of involuntary and powerful learning and participation. And just about e'.e-:-:-
Alphonso Lingis noted the jump of affect in his description everyday life to get \\'~.c.~.
of touring a mine at the Arctic Circle: "The young miner who She thinks it's son:: -
showed me the mine put out every cigarette he smoked on his face tension of some ~::..:.c.::. :.:
hand, which was covered with scar tissue. Then I saw the other cipient vitality lodgec :C. ::..----=-.,
young miners all had the backs of their hands covered with scar And nimble. If YOL:e
tissue .... when my eye fell on them it Binched, seeing the burn-
ing cigarette being crushed and sensing the pain .... The eye does
not read the meaning in a sign; it jumps from the mark to the
pain and the burning cigarette, and then jumps to the fraternity
signaled by the burning cigarettes."lo There are games vou cc.:-: -:_..c
/

Here, the abstracted sign of collective identity-the scar tissue Like the game of c_:~: .;
on the back of everyone's hands-not only retains its tie to the about to change lane,. ::::::--:_
problems of sense and sociality but demonstrates, or proposes, about this. They can te::
an extreme trajectory. It shows where things can go, taking off in driver isn't signaling 0: ~.'.e:.c.:-
their own little worlds, when something throws itself together. the edge of the lane 0: c.:~._-;
Ordinary affects highlight the question of the intimate im- Or there's the game:': ~-:-.=-
pacts of forces in circulation. They're not exactly "personal" but in a glance. This one', C.c.:::::
they sure can pull the subject into places it didn't exactly "intend" woman have coupon,: -:--.c'
to go. one looks like a talke:. -:-:: ':
gencies. Even a brilli2.'-~ :.=
dreaded price check c: c.-:;
you've made your cho:::e
Stuck in a fast lane;: c.: :
10 Alphonso Lingis, "The Society of Dismembered Body Parts," in perate for something:: ::.:
Deleuze and the Theatre of Philosophy, ed. Constantin Boundas and a list in your head, ge: ~: -
Dorothea Olkowski (New York: Routledge, 1993), 296. the surrounding bodie' c.c::, .
 -, :: units of knowl- Positions are taken, habits loved and hated, dreams launched and
: _==-::15 performed as wounded.
IImr1:L --~; .'.--:.dparticipation. And just about everyone is part of the secret conspiracy of
jllm:Jr - ,:- ,=-_his description everyday life to get what you can out of it.
1..,'
!l'--
I ~ 0 ',',"una
- b
miner who She thinks it's sort of like being a water bug, living on the sur-
.e,~'" :::= =-_= smoked on his face tension of some kind ofliquid. Seduced by the sense of an in-
ifB;:;.c _: -:-:_==-: I saw the other cipient vitality lodged in things, but keeping oneself afloat, too.
- ,.:-_ =-0:oyered with scar And nimble. If you're lucky.
":-n -
~",jJ(
i
-:-==-, seeing the burn-
~,':T'_ --: :- .'.-=-", , . The eye does
~,,- ~-: =-:::Lhe mark to the
~j_ _-=-,-::'0
La the fraternity

1-' There are games you can play.

jD!',,::_:- :. =C"_:: C''- - the scar tissue Like the game of noticing when the car up ahead in traffic is
~ :=:ains its tie to the about to change lanes. Some people have developed a sixth sense
~; c - : :_,::ates, or proposes, about this. They can tell when a lane change is coming even if the
~'l",c:::-: -, - z: : C-ll go, taking off in driver isn't signaling or the car itself isn't surreptitiously leaning to
.",:::-'::T, -',,:_ ',,- ,,_~: ',''-<- l'Lselftogether. the edge of the lane or acting nervous.
- - :,:' the intimate im- Or there's the game of trying to pick the quickest checkout lane
- -: =-':",Ct 1v " persona 1" b ut in a glance. This one's harder. How fast is that cashier? Does that
- - :._~n'rexactly "intend" woman have coupons? That one looks like a check writer. That
one looks like a talker. There are so many variables and contin-
gencies. Even a brilliant choice can be instantly defeated by the
dreaded price check or a register running out of tape. And once
you've made your choice, you're stuck with it.
Stuck in a fast lane gone bad, you might start to feel a little des-
= -, c,:-:-,=:,ered
Body Parts," in perate for something to do. But you can make a phone call, make
= ,=-",antin Boundas and a list in your head, get to work on your palm pilot. You can scan
:= -: .296. the surrounding bodies and tabloid headlines for a quick thrill or
an inner smirk. Or you can just check yourself out with a copy of
House and Garden or Glamour or Esquire. Picture-perfect scenes
flash up and snap into sense. You can relax into the aura of tactile
bodies, living rooms, and gardens jumping from fantasy to flesh
and back again right before your eyes. The glossy images offer not
so much a blueprint of how to look and live as the much more Stress is the lingua t:-~~::
profound experience of watching images touch matter. The jump wear that shows thar '.~~_:: :
of things becoming sensate is what meaning has become. busy, multitasking, ill -=-:-: c~:
against being OVenYOi~~:':' _
system, or subject to.:. ~:-~: :::-=:
Stress can motiY2.ec~~:_
alone in times of e'.:.~~:_::~
Sensory games spread fast, animating the pleasures and compul- ambient fear.
sions of being attuned to some kind of a common world of banal It can tell the sIO'.~
yet unspoken, or even occulted, sensibilities. or marginality. Bm ie'
Shifting forms of commonality and difference are wedged into stems not from a mea:-_~:-~c ::
daily interactions. There are hard lines of connection and discon- culations through forcc' :.:-.:.
nection and lighter, momentary affinities and differences. Little ture, the power of rhe:.:.-_~ .
worlds proliferate around everything and anything at all: mall cul- indifference, political':':~':e
ture, car culture, subway culture, TV culture, shopping culture, all of countless intricare> .:.::~
the teams and clubs and organizations (sports teams, dog breed- social injuries or im~e::.'.-: ::
ing clubs, scrapbooking clubs, historical re-creation societies, Stress is a transper5::-~-'--"
homing pigeon societies, off-road vehicle users clubs, book clubs, A thing like stress c.::..:-~ __-~
collecting clubs, fan clubs, country clubs, professional organiza- flow out of a househo:.:.-._--,::'
tions, walking clubs, home schooling groups, ethnic organiza- one who has been ur:.c::.:.:::.-
tions, adoption groups, sex groups, writers groups, neighborhood Any job.
hangouts, coffee drinkers), addictions of all kinds (drugs, alcohol,
sex, overeating, undereating, cutting, kleptomania), diseases of
all kinds, crimes, grief of all kinds, mistakes, wacky ideas. There
are scenes of shared experience-of tourists, or of locals versus
newcomers, or of people of color walking on a white street, or of This kind of thing is :-~~, :-:.
people waiting all day at the food stamp office.There are common Tom Lutz's Amei'i.~~: ':
attachments to musical genres or to dreams of early retirement. traces how neurasther..i: :: ~
But everyone knows there's something not quite right. at the beginning of rhc :--:-
 --: ..:~\'.·ith a copy of
- -----'-
-- --~-nerfect
t scenes
- ::: ~ ;::aura of tactile
- ::.-::::-:-_iamasy to flesh
_ ::,- :cnages offer not
: -'--'~he much more Stress is the lingua franca of the day. It can be the badge you
- __:_-.:-:-_luer.The jump wear that shows that you're afloat and part of what's happening-
busy, multitasking, in the know. Or it can be a visceral complaint
against being overworked, underpaid, abandoned by the medical
system, or subject to constant racist undertows.
Stress can motivate you, or it can puncture you, leaving you
alone in times of exhaustion, claustrophobia, resentment, and
:::-,--,-..:r;::s
and compul- ambient fear.
_,·_--:-.:'D world of banal It can tell the story of inclusion or exclusion, mainstreaming
or marginality. But its widespread power to articulate something
-o:::"_:c:are wedged into stems not from a meaning it harbors inside but from its actual cir-
. : :"_:".c::rion
and discon- culations through forces and trajectories of all kinds: self-help cul-
-'-----_::.
differences. Little ture, the power of the drug industry and direct advertising, social
--_::1eT at all: mall cul- indifference, political depression, road rage, or the proliferation
- -- ---:0
- -: ':"_::ppingculture, all of countless intricately detailed little worlds built around major
:~:: [c:ams, dog breed- social injuries or inventive forms of recreation or reaction.
_ :::-creation societies, Stress is a transpersonal bodily state that registers intensities.
- _:::' :lubs, book clubs, A thing like stress can linger and do real damage. Or it can also
::: :::'c:ssionalorganiza- flow out of a household like water down the drain, as when some-
::-: .::::. ethnic organiza- one who has been unemployed for far too long finally gets a job.
- :::-::.:.ps,neighborhood Any job.
- ~_-::...:::.ds
(drugs, alcohol,
:::::::':-:lania), diseases of
-'-'~::''.,,-ackyideas. There
.-_:::'_ or of locals versus
- :: .:"_a white street, or of This kind of thing is not exactly new.
=:c:. There are common Tom Lutz's American Nervousness, I903: An Anecdotal History
___
--_.:::- early retirement. traces how neurasthenia, or "nerve weakness," snapped into place
__ ::: quite right. at the beginning of the twentieth century as a widely experienced
mix of symptoms-insomnia, lethargy, depression, hypochon- tall tales, circuits of dc:c.~=-~~
dria, hysteria, hot and cold Bashes, asthma, hay fever, "sick head- the most ordinary for::-~' :::
ache," and "brain collapse." Lutz describes the phenomenon as the
embodied sensibility of an excitable subject adrift in a world of
large-scale modernist social transformations. He also describes it
as an unsteady and fraught structure of feeling that mixed a gothic
imaginary of hidden threats and unseen forces with the optimism It's the 4th of July a:-:.~~~- ':
of the new consumerist-therapeutic ethos of self-realization, per- works.
sonal magnetism, and corporate charisma. Its hegemony spread Her friend Danm~ c-r. ~ -
not through the power of a master narrative to gather up widely they notice that the §:..:.~'=- -=--
disparate identities and conditions of life but because it literally lose it. He backs up 2...' ::~c..: ~.
articulated competing and conBicting forces of science, tech- then surges forward C'':-' ~~-~ ~ .:-:
nology and medicine, religion and ethics, psychoanalysis, gender opens in front of him. = ~-_-
and sexuality, health and disease, class and race, art and politics. moves into slow mor~c:. -.:--
Like stress now, it was a weird super-sign of difference turned he can and then purs ~: _=-~ ~:
on the body. And like stress now it could only be seen through its hard. He pulls his car ::~:- :.
singularities: it had to be told as an anecdotal history in order to They look at each orhc:: :-r ~
see how its elements kept throwing themselves together through car again, this time ric:r~; _=-
difference and event. hood. His wheels spin C.r~~
and then he just sits r~~c::::::
on the Boor of the G.r :-:~~ ~-
staring at the guy bur -
goes over and tells the c: ~ C.r"
Rogue intensities roam the streets of the ordinary. Boor. He points out tl-~c.: ::~~:
There are all the lived, yet unassimilated, impacts of things, all walk. Danny sees the :: ::
the fragments of experience left hanging. guy out of the car. He:: ::.=-_;:
Everything left unframed by the stories of what makes a life him.
pulses at the edges of things.
All the excesses and extra effects unwittingly propagated by
plans and projects and routines of all kinds surge, experiment,
and meander.
They pull things in their wake. The cultural landscarc
They incite truth claims, confusions, acceptance, endurance, sensed.
 ,e::l __-~ ~~:~e'ssion, hypochon-
___
-=---
feyer, "sick head-
- ~-_
~ ::~_e'nomenonas the
_~~-=-i.-iii:
in a world of
:-Ie'also describes it
pw:T '-:: - ~ ~~car
mixed a gothic
~~~,,.'.-~ththe optimism
•~-''''~--realization, per-
:~, :,egemony spread
~ ~ =, gather up widely
-" = -.:.~ ':ecause it literally
~~",'of science, tech-
: .--::coanalysis, gender
_- ~ ~-=-~'" art and politics.
,::- = ~- difference turned
=_-- :e seen through its
_~_~"-:-jstory in order to
- :-"', ~ogether through
~_=_~> propagated by
-, <rge, experiment,
tall tales, circuits of deadness and desire, dull or risky moves, and
the most ordinary forms of watchfulness.
It's the 4th of July and the roads are gridlocked after the fire-
works .
Her friend Danny and his girlfriend are stuck in traffic. Then
they notice that the guy in the car in front of them is starting to
lose it. He backs up as far as he can, touching their bumper, and
then surges forward to the car in front of him. Then a big space
opens in front of him. Danny and his girlfriend watch as the scene
moves into slow motion. The guy pulls his car forward as far as
he can and then puts it in reverse and floors it, ramming them
hard. He pulls his car forward again and throws it into reverse.
They look at each other and jump out of their car. He rams their
car again, this time riding up right over the bumper and onto the
hood. His wheels spin and smoke when he tries to dislodge his car
and then he just sits there. Danny sees him reach for something
on the floor of the car and imagines a gun. A traffic cop is now
staring at the guy but he doesn't make a move toward him. Danny
goes over and tells the cop about the something reached for on the
floor. He points out that there are all kinds of people on the side-
walk. Danny sees the cop is afraid. Danny goes over and pulls the
guy out of the car. He brings him over to the cop. The cop arrests
him.
The cultural landscape vibrates with surface tensions spied or
sensed.
 She gets called to jury duty. A young African American man is She hears of a suici~~ -:.
facing five years minimum sentence for breaking and entering. At who rented a cute lic:~ ,~::-_
the jury selection, the lawyers ask a room of four hundred people used to be parties (b~:-::~ -
if anyone has a problem with that. She says she does. She objects broken up with hilT.
to automatic sentencing. She wants to know the circumstances. reach him. She asked :-,.' :-_~
And not just dead circumstances, but the live events. She tells hanging in the kitchc :': - :
hypothetical stories of injustice (what if he was stealing a loaf of the state and loaded ~ :-=-.,
bread for his children?). The lawyers are dead bored and openly over it as if that were ,,-_ -:"',~
rude. Mter dismissing a few other objections, they focus their at- his motorcycle. The,' .=.:.:::_
tention on the only four black people in the room, all women. someone found it P"-:::~':'
They prompt them. They ask them questions. They listen carefully must have put it there.
to the brief, dignified answers they get.
When the crowd is dismissed for the day, she falls into step on
the sidewalk behind the four women. They're much more ani-
mated now. They're saying they have no problem with punish-
ment. If this man did what they say he did, he should be pun- Unwanted intensities ..--=_
s_=-=-
ished. But it isn't their place to judge. That's the Lord's place. The And then a tiny act: ~ . --:
next morning, the four women go up to talk to the judge. He dis- sardonic humor in p:.::_,::
misses them from the jury selection. Then the defendant's lawyers of human contact rel~,,-,_ ~
immediately enter a guilty plea. The man gets twenty-five years She pulls up to a tC__:'::
because it's a repeat offense. She's amazed at the whole thing. says the guy in the ca: ,:- ::::
Sunday mornings, homeless men line up for breakfast at the line. That's her. It takes ,',~::.=
Jehovah's Witness church down the street. Men of all colors, but Oh! They both gaze a:: :::-~ :::
this is no utopia of racial mixing. They look hot, tired, sour, and She and Ariana ar~
out of place. Like stick figures of abjection and wildness, they woman, brown bab,'. s: =-=-~,
come on buses or walk across town carrying all their belongings boys dressed tough, S:-,: _. ':
in dirty backpacks. Then they make the trek back again. You can one of the boys sa)' :':D :.:=-, ~ -
tell they hate this particular moment in their week. see that cute baby?"
She knows a woman in her forties who has never married and She's driving omo :.:"----=-:: _
lives alone. Her life is full of work, good friends, and family, all front of her stops in :::-.~:-:'_':'
kinds of passions and forms of self-knowledge. But it's like there's set woman cross the s:::~~: ~
no frame to announce that her life has begun. She knows this is Then she looks back. ~:: ~ ~.
ridiculous, but she swims against a constant undertow. big smile, vaguely'y.=.' "-
 - .-_-=-.:::~ican
man is She hears of a suicide in the neighborhood. A man in his thirties
; ~.i entering. At who rented a cute little stone house with a great yard where there
_~.-. .:.:".dredpeople used to be parties (before he moved in). His girlfriend had just
::.::::s.She objects broken up with him. Then she got worried when she couldn't
~.-.= ::~cumstances. reach him. She asked his neighbor to go in and look. He had been
: :·::::1[5. She tells hanging in the kitchen for days. His relatives came from around
'-' :~:::jing a loaf of the state and loaded up his stuff on trucks. They were fighting
.::. ~:~:::d and openly over it as if that were all they cared about. They were looking for
. =- ~ocus their at- his motorcycle. They accused the girlfriend of stealing it. Then
.. : -:: =. all women. someone found it parked in a neighbor's front yard; someone
-:-:.:-.::srell carefully must have put it there.

-: ~'~_s into step on

.: ~.·.:.ch more ani-
.. ~.-== ,,·.,-irhpunish-
_ _-.= '~.ould be pun- Unwanted intensities simmer up at the least provocation.
=-":=-:~d's place. The And then a tiny act of human kindness, or a moment of shared
.: =-".:::
judge. He dis- sardonic humor in public, can set things right again as if any sign
. : ::':~·::::"idant's
lawyers of human contact releases an unwanted tension .
::. ...-.,.-:::nty-fiveyears She pulls up to a tollbooth in New Hampshire. The attendant
..... ': ·'~lole thing. says the guy in the car in front of her has paid for the next car in
. :: ~ :creakfast at the line. That's her. It takes her a minute to process what she's hearing .
.:.- :~.all colors, but Oh! They both gaze at the car up ahead pulling into traffic.
- :~. [ired, sour, and She and Ariana are out walking in the neighborhood: white
. ~.i \vildness, they woman, brown baby. Some teenagers pass them, scowling; brown
-; .:....~:leir belongings boys dressed tough, showing attitude. But as they pass she hears
::.::.::~again. You can one of the boys say to the others in a sweet boy's voice "Did you
see that cute baby?"
::.::".:::'.-er
married and She's driving onto campus early one morning. The pickup in
. ~-=.-is. and family, all front of her stops in the middle of the road to let an older, heavy-
: _~= 3u.r it's like there's set woman cross the street. The woman scampers across, too fast.
- ::_=-. Sie knows this is Then she looks back, first at the man and then all around, with a
big smile, vaguely waving. Too grateful.
 are released into the c.i~, = ~
up in an out-of-this-v"=~.~.-,
Disappearance has :..,"-=
masses. We are gifted c=-'----=-:
capture the slip, if or:>' ~
Little fantasies pop up. Like the one in the car ad where two surface.
hip young white people are driving through the streets of New Blankness has blc.I'.::-::=
Orleans listening to a pleasantly funky soundtrack. Suddenly they through the comfonc.~= __=
realize that the vital scene of African American street life outside communities, and the ':~c.-.
the car has come into synch with the music inside. They look at stores for every corner: ~._~~
each other and shrug their shoulders in the pleasure of a surprise bed and bath, pizza, t2.:=
event. It's unbelievable but they can take it in stride. Keep mov- Banality is the vital::- :: ==
ing. They (or you, the viewer, or the couple form, or whiteness, places where it's on di'?-='
or hipness, or something) are sutured to a pretty picture with sur- feeling disconnected ;-~=~ -=: _:
round sound. They can just drift for a while.
A sensory dream of seamless encounter floats over the currents
of racial fear, rage, segregation, discrimination, violence, and ex-
haustion.
This is not just ideology but an event, however fleeting or insig- Everyone knows there', ': - -"
nificant it seems to be, and whatever purpose or underlying causes sprawl: the deserts of?'~'
it can be slotted into. getting fat eating POt;;,:,::.-.:'
It's one of the many little somethings worth noting in the direct of the affordable dre2L-,: .-:
composition of the ordinary. plans no matter where ~'
But the houses are: ,Z :':
expected to have. :\ Ie:e ::.='-.=
into a model home. I: ~"==_-
is set up for the perfee: ~'-=---=-~_
Ecstatic little forms of disappearance have budded up. We dream baby's room all read,' >= ::.--
the dream of a finished life. The dream job or the dream body in." It makes it look 5[' =::..:-~
settles into a perfect form. She visits a maSter-: ,~ __ -
Or we dream of the kind of magic that comes in a flash. The plane outside of to\\T. -=-,-,-:~-:
sweepstakes cameras appear at your door when you are still in tion, a day care, and c.;~-:-:-~,
your housedress, and big bunches of balloons in primary colors trees around yet and ::-,=,-,:_,

: ~~ .::.dwhere two
~_-_= ,~:-eetsof New
_--~~~~Suddenly they
..__-_ <:-=o:~ life outside
-.------c:. They look at
;
~ :.::..~:-eof a surprise
- :~~~ie. Keep moy-
: :: :-:-:~.or whiteness,
- - c-' :-~.::mrewith sur-
:'.'O:[ the currents
--:<Jlo:nce,and ex-
- c::- --=.eetingor insig-
:.::_:"'_derlyingcauses
- _::..iedup. We dream
: r the dream body
in a flash. The
~ : ::-:10:5
-- ,-_enYOU are still in
: '.' in primary colors
are released into the air. Or UFOS come in the night and lift you
up in an out-of-this-world levitation trick.
Disappearance has always been the genius of the so-called
masses. We are gifted dreamers of getting away from it all, giving
capture the slip, if only by slipping into the cocoon of a blank
surface.
Blankness has blanketed the country, spreading smoothly
through the comfortable uniformity of theme parks and gated
communities, and the sprawling new shopping meccas of big-box
stores for every corner oflife - home, pets, coffee, books, garden,
bed and bath, pizza, tacos, hamburgers, toys, babies, office.
Banality is the vitality of the times. You can slip into any of the
places where it's on display and check out for a while without ever
feeling disconnected for a second.
Everyone knows there's something not quite right about suburban
sprawl: the deserts of plywood spreading over hayfields; the kids
getting fat eating potato chips in front of the TY; the creeping lure
of the affordable dream house that comes in the same four basic
plans no matter where you are.
But the houses are big, beautiful, white, more than you ever
expected to have. More than you can resist. One day you walk
into a model home. It feels like walking into a dream. Everything
is set up for the perfect family: the boy's room, the girl's room, the
baby's room all ready like they're saying "Come on, family, move
in." It makes it look so easy. So over and done with.
She visits a master-planned community built on an empty
plane outside of town. There's a fire station, a school, a police sta-
tion, a day care, and a green belt with running paths. There are no
trees around yet and the house siding is still unmarred plastic.
 She stops at a convenience store built to look like a southern back. Everything is
country store. The sales office next to it is a cute little bungalow. mostly couples, mos:>~
Two men wearing pressed shirts are playing horseshoes on the have bumper stickers : ~.c:-::
lawn. They wave at her, big smiles. They yell, "Hey, neighbor!" She "On the road and of- ~,= ~:~
realizes these guys must be the realtors staging a scene. But this is beginning. If you dOL: ':' ~
obvious. It's as if it's not nostalgia for a small town that is being and drive away. The:' :~_.c:':<
offered but the fabulousness of the built environment itself. It's as They visit war monu:-::-_=:-~-_
if the value of the new and emergent-the up-and-coming mode and Clark Trail. Or d-_='~
of community itself-is embodied in a shared dream of finished hunt treasure with ill:::-=-: :,-
surfaces. It's a game of living lite. A value that only goes so far. They seek out beautif~: '::=-:':
Maybe it's not only the dream house (the more-house-for-your- gazebos.
money) that people are after when they buy a house here, but also They use the natioL-=-~.
the move to be part of what's happening and to be part of the light their itineraries. The- ':==:: ..
inevitability of it all, too, the seamlessness. day of driving, the:' cc.:-_,~~~..
The air is full of sneering stereotypes about gated communities. back out to the parkiL~ .::: -:
There are cartoons about it all over the place, like the one about a walkie-talkie set so ::-~=' ::~.
the older couple sitting in their living room complaining that meet other Rvers in (h:: :::c..:.'__-:
that dead body is still out there on the lawn next door. But the Wal-Mart is bad for ~;~c._:-;~:
sneering at cliches of conformity and isolation doesn't really get at without competition: -=--:-.:'
what's going on. There's also something more basic about how the what can you do? Ib:;::: :::.;;=
dream world is desirable precisely because it only goes so far. And
something abour how that dream wants to be sutured to the mo-
ment when things snap together. It's like flexing one's watching
and waiting muscles, keeping them limber. And it's just as attuned
to the possibility that things will fall apart, the elements dissipat- The objects of mass
ing or recombining into something else. Not exactly "passive," it's itself-travel, instam
hypervigilant and always building itself up to the intensity where lure of new lifestyles Fc.::::-~=:"
action can become reaction. into scenes of a possil:<=._::~:
The experience of 2::::-.; .=
sory experience oflitcc....' :" -
happening.
But nothing too h::c.-
Three million retirees live in upscale RVS fully loaded with
kitchens, bathrooms, marble countertops, and TVS front and
 . : : =; like a southern back. Everything is built in, tucked away, clever. The retirees are
__ .::.::little bungalow. mostly couples, mostly white. They wear matching T-shirts and
. -;:: :-_=rseshoeson the have bumper stickers that read "Home is where you park it" or
. :-:::~,,"
neighbor!" She "On the road and off the record." For them, every day is a new
-r.;:: c.scene. But this is beginning. If you don't like where you're at, you can just get in
IF -:-.:... ::.::.",'.n
that is being and drive away. They have pets and projects. They're history buffs.
•• .r: :-.:-:lentitself. It's as They visit war monuments and ghost towns or follow the Lewis
jllw":~ . ~- ':"cd-coming mode and Clark Trail. Or they visit theme parks all over the country. Or
1Iir~1 -cC:: '::'reamof finished hunt treasure with metal detectors or prospect for gold nuggets.
~. 0- __ : ::,,-.c.::'
only goes so far. They seek out beautiful scenery or little New England towns with
jiml:IL" .'.~.: r::-house-for-your- gazebos.
~ . _ :: .·.yc:.sehere, but also They use the national Wal-Mart atlas of store locations to plan
.m"r:::~L:-:- _' ::.::.:r,c part of the light their itineraries. They sleep in Wal-Mart parking lots. After a hard
p.n:c:" . day of driving, they can shop for whatever they need and then go
""f"-~: .::. ;::c.::.cdcommunities. back out to the parking lot to make supper. They buy gadgets like
~""'::' - c::' = .:l",ethe one about a walkie-talkie set so they can find each other in the store. They
I-' :-: .:-r. complaining that meet other Rvers in the parking lot and tour their rigs. They know
~ r. r.clI door. But the Wal-Mart is bad for Main Street but where would this country be

E=:cc
t-.
-~~~:~::~:lr~~~~
::.= s·..lmredto the mo-
without competition? They say social inequality is a fact oflife-
what can you do? Their biggest problem is the price of gas.ll

===:':'rlgone's watching
, : ---=- . .::.:I"S just as attuned
::"'.::elements dissipat- The objects of mass desire enact the dream of sheer circulation
.: ::.:::,:c.CI
I"·"
y paSSIve, It . ,s itself-travel, instant communication, movies, catalogues, the
_r ::.:::.~-:.eintensity where lure of new lifestyles patched together from commodities gathered
into scenes of a possible life.
The experience of being "in the mainstream" is a concrete sen-
sory experience ofliterally being in tune with a "something" that's
happening.
But nothing too heavy or sustained.
~Jllv loaded with
.:..-.i TVS front and
 It's being in tune without getting involved. A light contact zone catastrophe, isolation. ~:-.~ :..
that rests on a thin layer of shared public experiences. beaten to death in tic.: .'.
A fantasy that life can be somehow seamless and that we're in worker; men who bur,: .:-': -,
the know, in the loop, not duped. That nothing will happen to them and their new .~,
us, and nothing we do will have real consequences - nothing that after the neighbors he~: ::-~ "
can't be fixed, anyway. News of the weird feaL":':~:.: -
The experience of being "in the mainstream" is like a flotation middle-class couple v.':-.:
device. behind a hundred ca" -; -
But its very surge to enter life lite leaves in its wake a vague in the walls.
sense of all the circuits that give things a charge.

Sylvie's neighbor Torr:.r:-.'.'.~ :

Home is where the heart is. You can get inside and slam the door. bottom of the hill. He .-.~ ~ c;
We dream of the big, beautiful, sensate commodity-to-live-in, the drinker. She sits in fror.: ::' -=-' : :
bathroom done in the textures of old stone and precious metals, Sylvie has seen her dm":-.:.' =-~
a utopia of colorful decor. But the synaesthesia of being at home language you've ever hc~:~ ==:
is always already afloat in the circuits of the prevailing public to send Juanita dov;n t':-.~:e.
winds- privatization, sensible accumulation, family values, or down there, Tomm\'
some kind of identity or lifestyle or something. and he was smashin'(Th~- '~:. ,
The American dream takes the form of a still life: the little take him away. Andbth:~----- -'
family stands beside the suv in the driveway, looking up, stock Sylvie said you'd onh- .~c.'~.
portfolios in hand, everything insured, payments up to date, yards Tommy and the WO~2:-. : __~ .:...
kept trim and tended, fat-free diet under their belts, community she hoped they did, bu: ::-~ ::C'
watch systems in place. Martha Stewart offers advice on the fin- little girl. Juanita took ::-.~;:. -
ishing touches. tain until things settle2 :.:
But then the little disappearing acts start coming up right in
the middle of home's retreat, adding a different charge to things.
There are times when it seems as if everything the heart drags
home is peppered with a hint of addiction, aloneness, something
rotten or worthless. In Las Vegas, she suspec:~~:" -
Horror stories leak in over the airwaves. Seemingly ordinary family. She would he~:- :='z',: c:
intimate spaces are revealed to be scenes of hidden corruption, the trailer. He'd yell, ,0:::' ;: ..._' ~
 catastrophe, isolation, and crime. There are children on welfare
~ ~iCTht
c -
--
~L
;:,
contact zone
beaten to death in their homes between visits from the social
_ :::~ ::~:ences.
--:-~::"and that we're in worker; men who burst into their exgirlfriends' trailers, shooting
- ~_: ~':-":::lg will happen to
them and their new lovers in their beds; bodies discovered only
_~..:.::.:-_ces-nothing that after the neighbors hear the dog barking in there for days on end.
News of the weird feature stories like the one about the educated,
middle-class couple who calmly goes away on vacation, leaving
behind a hundred cats - some dead, some alive, wild ones living
in the walls.

Sylvie's neighbor Tommy has been "into it" in his house at the
bottom of the hill. He has a woman in there with him. She's a
1 : ~c ~ _.:-_'::'e and slam the door.
drinker. She sits in front of the tube and never sticks her head out .
.me:- ~::: ~_:11Odity-to-live-in, the
:. :~: .:-_::
and precious metals, Sylvie has seen her down there drunk in the yard and the foulest
language you've ever heard. One time it got so bad that Sylvie had
- -a::'~~,::sia of being at home
_ ~: : ~ ,he prevailing public to send Juanita down there to see about them. When Juanita got
.., --:-__a::on, family values, or down there, Tommy had this woman handcuffed to the radiator
and he was smashing her head against the floor. The police had to
It: - ::- :::~l.:ng.
a still life: the little take him away. And then, of course, she went right back to him.
J[[ :: -::-:.-a;.',
::.:_ looking up, stock Sylvie said you'd only have to beat up on her once. Juanita told
Tommy and the woman she didn't care if they killed each other,
ilL :. ::-a:-::nentsup to date, yards

_.:-::.::~
Their belts, community she hoped they did, but they better not do it in front of Tommy's
little girl. Juanita took the girl to stay with her up on the moun-
IllL -:- ~~Jtfers advice on the fin-
tain until things settled down.

£-~ a:~' s~art coming up right in

1iIl:_>~ a :.::tferent charge to things.
:It - - ::-ernhing the heart drags
c _:._ :~:o~, aloneness, something
In Las Vegas, she suspected that the guy next door was beating his
_ :...::--aves.Seemingly ordinary family. She would hear fights at night through the thin walls of
the trailer. He'd yell, something would go thud against the walls,
ill ::: : ~e:les of hidden corruption,
the woman would scream, teenagers would skulk out of the trailer working when he was "-~~~:
and hang around outside, despondent. Then one day the guy was had his jaws locked 0 r: ~-.: ;'_
having a cigarette on the little porch. The railing broke and he Luckily, the guy had h:, ~:. . ".
fell face down in the gravel expanse that serves as the yard. He and killed the dog. Yr.: ::.:;
lay there face down without moving. His wife and kids came out pairman was a victim c..,-.::' C. .".:
slowly, carefully; they peered at him from a good twenty yards When she heard th:,
away. ''Are you ok?" Long pause. "No. I'M NOT OK." But they from an acquaintanc: . ,-"
kept their distance, frozen in a vignette. quirky stories:
Not long after that, the family was gone. No moving vans or
waves good-bye, just there one day and gone the next. Then she A homemaker's c>.
realized that the guy was still in there. One night she heard him man. Since she had c: ::: .
laughing maniacally. Full beer cans thudded against the walls. leave the key under ::.: - ::.'
After that, she began to notice the TV turned up loud at night, its the counter, and I'll :-:::.c... _ -.:1
blue light flashing in the darkened trailer, and him laughing loud about my Doberm2.': .
at the wrong moments. One night she caught him standing at do NOT under A:':Y c.: :_:: .~'_
his living room window staring out at her. She got heavy curtains pairman arrived at t'-l: r.:
and kept them closed. Then she would notice the top of his head the biggest and me"-.-.:':.
peering out of one of the three little window panels on his living just as she had said, :r.: ::"~
room door. She pictured him standing on his tiptoes. She thought the repairmen go 2.':X..::.
he must be completely deranged by now, if he hadn't always been. him nuts the \vhoL: c.::.:
Every once in a while at night she would take a quick scan to see name-calling. , ,Fir ..:.... _. _
if the top of his head was there at the little window. any longer and )'elL:':::
Years later, a friend living in Austin told her the same story. replied, "GET HL\f,~" -
There was some weird guy next door in there alone after the
woman left him. He was throwing beer cans against the walls in
the dark and laughing at the wrong times to the flashing blue light
of the TV.
Home is where the h:.:..-~
and things get sketch" :.:.: -
or the sudden rino-
t:'
0" _. c
-- - - _--
_.

canny resemblance b:.-·:~ - ":

Her brother's cable is out. When the repairman arrives he says, cocooning we no\,; Cd...-.: -:
"Do you know who I am?" It turns out that he's been on the news. The home cocoon ::
He went into a house to repair a TV. He was down on his knees nerable, and jump:',
 _.:. :~~.:.lk
out of the trailer
~ .::~..'l.e day the guy was
-.:: :i.ling broke and he
,==,.'e5as the yard. He
.:·eand kids came out
.:.good twenty yards
:--;OT OK." But they
_" moving vans or
_ );'0
tilL . ~ ;:: l.e [he next. Then she
working when he was attacked by the family's pit bull. The dog
had his jaws locked on the guy's leg and the family just laughed.
Luckily, the guy had his tool belt on, so he grabbed a screwdriver
and killed the dog. The dog's owners were outraged. But the re-
pairman was a victim and a hero on the local news.
When she heard this story, she remembered an e-mail she got
from an acquaintance who liked to send her stupid jokes and
quirky stories:
A homemaker's dishwasher quit working so she called a repair-

ill .~':-.:: :light she heard him man. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told him, "I'll

II' ..:::.c: .. _.:. .:ed against the walls.

leave the key under the mat ... Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on

up loud at night, its the counter, and I'll mail you the check ... By the way, don't worry

::•. -'.:'.d him laughing loud about my Doberman ... He won't bother you, but whatever you do,

.:: :.:..:.ght him standing at do NOT under ANY circumstances talk to my parrot!" When the re-
pairman arrived at the homemaker's place the next day, he discovered
I' 1~ = .. :,:::Sie got heavy curtains
lit _ ':' .. : :::e the top of his head
the biggest and meanest looking Doberman he had ever seen ... But
just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching
II::~C" ,:-. .: .'.\' panels on his living
the repairmen go about his business ... However, the parrot drove
1ISl:._ .. :;: ::-. ::.istiptoes. She thought

III . .~ie hadn't always been.

him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and

tiir~ '_,: :ake a quick scan to see name-calling ... Finally the repairman could not contain himself
any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!!" The parrot
f" 0-::..=\yindow.
..

in. -_. - :.d her the same story. replied, "GET HIM, Spike!"

~.: .:.: • .l. there alone after the

IIIlFt·...:: • =::: ::2J15against the walls in
1IIf: ,.< ...•... =' :0 the flashing blue light

.. = :epairman arrives he says,
: ...: :~,-athe's been on the news.
:-Ie was down on his knees
Home is where the heart is. But take one foot out of the frame
and things get sketchy fast. At the unwanted knock on the door,
or the sudden ring of the phone at night, you can feel the un-
canny resemblance between the dazed state of trauma and the
cocooning we now call home .
The home cocoon lives in a vital state-open, emergent, vul-
nerable, and jumpy.
 It lives as a practiced possibility, emergent in projects like home the late leader of the :'~.:.~ . -
remodeling, shopping, straightening up the house, rearranging nization. The book is .:.::~: _ _
furniture, making lists, keeping a diary, daydreaming, or buying on racial genocide. 1L" ,~~ ~'-
lottery tickets. invented past when go'·: :::-.- ,,- -
Practices that stage the jump from ideal to matter and back tore apart seemingl.v 5::<_ .••.
again can fuse a dream world to the world of ordinary things. rested hordes of peop:: ::: _:: =-
Objects settle into scenes of life and stand as traces of a past still gin trauma incites a IT':~:::':' =
resonant in things; on a dresser top are loose change, pens, re- through the details of.:. r· .1

ceipts, books, scattered jewelry, knickknacks, a kid's drawing, and "how-to" manual for r:c::~-~~ ~~ -.::
- ~
a long-discarded list of urgent things to do. A small wooden table ists, and it has been ere: .••._~=.••.
arranged by a window holds the promise of a profoundly secluded homa City bombing. S: =." =-
interior. description at the end:: ~~-: ::.:
But the dream of approaching the ordinary lives only in the the Pentagon and the 2.::::-_-,-- . -:.~1
moment of its surge- in the resonance of the still life or the prac- 2001. In the book, SC:::~==:::- ::
tice of the perfectly manicured lawn. Left to its own devices, it nization" carries OUt 2.r~ ~.:: _-
undoes itself through its own excesses. It drifts off in a flight of date is also William L:~-.::,:: ~::'-::
fancy, leaps into a wild plan of action, and overextends itself. It strange and floating L-_:~ .•..-~- -
grows wild tendrils that harden into nodules of paranoia, perfec- But what is most 5:"::::: =.: _=,- .3
tionism, or private dysfunction. It tries to fix itself into a code as ~ mestic scenes and the:::::. -.:..-
if it could imprint itself on the world -like magic. In the gated offers are not just aboL~ .-.:
community the rules of community order soon reach a tottering but also how to set L:: ::..- _
point open to parody and endless legal contestation: garage doors underground. The her:::· ::..:.••.=
have to be kept shut at all times, drapes must be in neutral colors bravery and camarader:: r _~:: :
only, no digging in the yard without permission, no clotheslines shooting, sexual perfo=-=.:.:-::::,:..
in the yard, no pickup trucks in the driveway, no planting without It's a recipe book to::::. -:-.::::
permission, no grandchildren visiting in a senior compound. No A little world comes ~:-.~:
exceptions. model of communir.· .:.r.••.
with the textures and '::-. . __
world.
This lived, affecti',-: ::: r- __~.
make the book not iL':::..r~ -
The Turner Diaries is a racist, fascist novel from 1996 written under is) but also a scene o::~~.::~= - -
a pseudonym (Andrew MacDonald) by William Luther Pierce, sions, and hoped-for 5:~
-..::- -~_ ?rojects like home
- - -:: ~_:use, rearranging
--=-~::-,-~ing,or buying
:: :natter and back
-:- ordinary things.
:: -,-cesof a past still
: ':: change, pens, re-
.c~id's drawing, and
-_ ;:-:18-11
wooden table
- ~ :---::oundly secluded
- -=-_-~- hes only in the
--:: ;:Jllife or the prac-
-- :: ::s own devices, it
::.: _:=-:' off in a flight of
:-:::extends itself. It
_ ::: ::- paranoia, perfec-
_:,;:1finto a code as
_ ::"_-'-gic.In the gated
: : ~_:each a tottering
- -:::-,-:ion: garage doors
: c e in neutral colors
<:1. no clotheslines
_ ~_c planting without
=~_:J[ compound. No
-- - _.-_=996 written under
__:-,-m Luther Pierce,
the late leader of the National Alliance, a white separatist orga-
nization. The book is a prophesy of a new world order founded
on racial genocide. The story begins with "the terrible day" in an
invented past when government thugs broke into citizens' houses,
tore apart seemingly solid walls to unearth hidden guns, and ar-
rested hordes of people, rounding them up like cattle. This ori-
gin trauma incites a militia movement, which the book imagines
through the details of a postapocalyptic "ordinary." It reads like a
"how-to" manual for right wing conspiracy theorists and survival-
ists, and it has been credited with inspiring, in detail, the Okla-
homa City bombing. Some also draw uncanny links between the
description at the end of the book of a suicide mission to bomb
the Pentagon and the actual attack that occurred on September II,
2001. In the book, September II is also the date that "the Orga-
nization" carries out an assault on the city of Houston (and the
date is also William Luther Pierce's birthday). Such is the world of
strange and floating links that The Turner Diaries comes from.
But what is most surprising about the book is its focus on do-
mestic scenes and the ordinary details of everyday life. The tips it
offers are not just about how to organize armies and make bombs
but also how to set up cozy shelters and keep house while living
underground. The heroes distinguish themselves not by acts of
bravery and camaraderie but by honing their skills in engineering,
shooting, sexual performance, and housekeeping.
It's a recipe book for domestic competence.
A little world comes into view. It is a world based on a military
model of community and skill, but it is one that is filled, too,
with the textures and sensory details needed to imagine a dream
world.
This lived, affective constellation of practices and sensibilities
make the book not just an ideological diatribe (which it certainly
is) but also a scene of life filled with worries, fetishes, compul-
sions, and hoped-for satisfactions.
 It is possible to imagine how, for those readers who fInd it com- know them all, indul§=:c.;.
pelling but are not about to build bombs, it's a kind of self-help to help them ifhe co--.:: .:..;_
book. Self-help racism. But then they woulc: '~
For the uninducted reader, on the other hand, reading it is an starting the cat-and-c. _: :- -
eerie experience haunted by what seem at fIrst to be bizarre links But at exactly 4 ..IX '-... - :
between a racist rage at disorder, contamination, and decay and lie down on the floor ~.
an appreciation for the well-tended suburban lawn, the Martha He said he guessed c,'c- ~ . _.
Stewart-inspired interest in interior design, and the fantasy game weird, though, hO\\-ic
of reading catalogues to imagine oneself in that dress, with that
face, or holding that particular gun.

The affective subjeCI ;, ~ ~ -

can recognize it thro.:;.- ...
The self is no match for all of this.
unsteadily in the light: .~.~': ~ _
It's a dreamy, hovering, not-quite-there thing.
candle. Or project it cc_
A fabulation that enfolds the intensities it fInds itself in. It fash-
it as a pattern you h;.: . -
ions itself out of movements and situations that are surprising,
there's nothing you c"-c.
compelled by something new, or buried in layers of habit.
You can comfon ic. .-
It can become hyperresponsive-touchy, volatile, and tuned
track, even for a mirL ~c
in-or it can grow dull with anxiety. It gets caught in the quick,
Out there on its c'c --
repetitive cycles of ups and downs-the flights of fancy followed
nudge it into being. I~ ... _. .
by disappointments, satisfactions, rages, or dreams of rest.
up, to free itself, to b:.rc -
It exists, obliquely, in dreams of disappearing, of winning or
None of this is eas'-. ~~~, _
being done with it all. Forms of attention and attachment keep it
thinking claims thar
moving: the hypervigilance, the denial, the distraction, the sen-
as if all the messy bL':,:
sory games of all sorts, the vaguely felt promise that something is
a bad habit or a han§=c-:r ~ _..
happening, the constant half-searching for an escape route.
making projects pro:ic'c'~.: _.
demics of addictions ,,-c.o . - :
The fIgure of a becc'cc- _c _:-
for all kinds of strarez:
Her friend Danny worked night shift on the suicide prevention reinvention, redempt:cc ,-:
hotline for a while. He said the borderline personalities were the rests on agency's sho·c.o:·
worst. They kept calling back, looking for attention. He got to that.
 ': ~:ders who find it com- know them all, indulging them in their tiresome games and trying
E - -, i:'s a kind of self-help to help them if he could figure out when they were being straight.
But then they would slip out of reach and then call back later,
I " ''::~iand, reading it is an starting the cat-and-mouse game again.
•. ~: :=Ist to be bizarre links But at exactly 4 AM all the calls would stop dead and he would
J. ' . ~-:',.~2.tion,and decay and lie down on the floor to sleep for the last two hours of his shift.
!IlL::"', _: _~::-2.nlawn, the Martha He said he guessed even borderlines had to sleep sometime. It was
go ,~.:,' and the fantasy game weird, though, how it was like clockwork.
It " ,~ ;:hat dress, with that

The affective subject is a collection of trajectories and circuits. You

can recognize it through fragments of past moments glimpsed
unsteadily in the light of the present like the flickering light of a
p:,:r _,~~_~-'- -: ~_-jng.
candle. Or project it onto some kind of track to follow. Or inhabit
;:ri.nds itself in. It fash-
it as a pattern you find yourself already caught up in (again) and
II!- .. ,' • :,5 that are surprising,
there's nothing you can do about it now.
" ' ~:2"ers of habit.
You can comfort it, like a child. Or punish it for getting off
_:r.:', volatile, and tuned
track, even for a minute.
B,- . ~::' .::aught in the quick,
Out there on its own, it seeks out scenes and little worlds to
Il!Ii2 - : .::~:~:sof fancy followed
nudge it into being. It wants to be somebody. It tries to lighten
III" :Icams of rest.
•:
up, to free itself, to learn to be itself, to lose itself.
., :2=-ing, of winning or
c ~ ~

None of this is easy. Straight talk about willpower and positive

, :..:.2 attachment keep it
I: :-:.: iisuaction, the sen-
.'1 . ,~.• ~::se that something is
1liii!' . ' : 2.c-, escape route.
, :rc suicide prevention
-: ::-C:Isonalitieswere the
, . : 2.;:;:ention.He got to
thinking claims that agency is just a matter of getting on track,
as if all the messy business of real selves could be left behind like
a bad habit or a hangover. But things are always backfiring. Self-
making projects proliferate at exactly the same rate as the epi-
demics of addictions and the self-help shelves at the bookstore.
The figure of a beefed-up agency becomes a breeding ground
for all kinds of strategies of complaint, self-destruction, flight,
reinvention, redemption, and experimentation. As if everything
rests on agency's shoulders. But there's always more to it than
that.
At odd moments in the course of the day, you might raise your Things have started to :=: : -
head in surprise or alarm at the uncanny sensation of a half-known It's as if the solid g::-':._:-
_
influence. tender cocoons susperr::,,::. -
The streets are littered with half-written signs of personal/pub- and possibilities of a :i:.·" .-.: : -:.="
lic disasters. The daily sightings of the homeless haunt the solidity We notice our com;::::-_ .::..'._-=.
of things with the shock of something awful. They hold up signs mity in it. We knO\\ i> :._~ :: ;
while puppies play at their feet: "Hungry," "Will work for food," meltdowns as by smoo:.- : -
"God bless you." The sign hits the senses with a mesmerizing and a buoyancy too. A yib: -'.:-.::
repellent force. It pleads to be recognized, if only in passing. It and shopping malls.
gestures toward an ideological center that claims the value of will-
power ("Will work for food") and it voices a simple dream of
redemption ("God bless you"). But it's too sad. It offers no affect
to mime, no scene of common desire, no line of vitality to follow,
no intimate secret to plumb, no tips to imbibe for safety or good We shop.
health. Sometimes, or all d-." :._-=-"
There is no social recipe in circulation for what to do about Too much or nor er:.: .;::
homelessness, or even what to do with your eyes when confronted With flare or ·with ,~.-'.-:"
with it face to face. For necessities, fo: ::-."::':
The eye glances off the graphic lettering of the homeless sign as At Dollar Store or ~~e.::-:.::
something to avoid like the plague. But the sign also prompts the We shop at the me~-'.'-.-:.:: -.
surge of affect toward a profound scene. nient and everyvvhere-'.:-_:: :.-::-
:. c -'

A dollar bill stuck out of a car window gets a quick surge for- weirdly upbeat sloga,':=
ward and the heightened, unassimilated, affect of a raw contact. a Hero" give shoppir:.~ -'.
"God bless you." pricing cards stick oc:.:.c-.- :::-. _:
miss the sale items.
If you have plen n- '-.-:-
::. -.-
have no money at aL :::-.-
If the money is ti;:--.-
numbing, penny-pine:-_.:-.;:.~--
 . :...:.might raise your
- ':'~~:'=1ofahalf-known
;~_' of personal/pub-
- ~:" iaunt the solidity
..:__-=-_"1-=:"
hold up signs
:~:':lwork for food,"
~_-,~ mesmerizing and
. in passing. It
- ~ "--:-::~s the
value of will-
_:: .:.simple dream of
.:.~_It offers no affect
-: :i \-itality to follow,
- : ,:" [or safety or good
- :': __'.\-hat to do about
___:-':5 \vhen confronted
,~.~.: ~i-=homeless
sign as
--" _;=1also prompts the
;:~' a quick surge for-
. ~--:-:t of a raw contact.
Things have started to float .
It's as if the solid ground has given way, leaving us hanging like
tender cocoons suspended in a dream world. As if the conditions
and possibilities of a life have themselves begun to float.
We notice our common drifting and the isolation and confor-
mity in it. We know it's fueled as much by circuit overloads and
meltdowns as by smooth sailing. But there's no denying that it has
a buoyancy too. A vibrancy alive with gamblers, hoarders, addicts,
and shopping malls.
We shop.
Sometimes, or all the time.
Too much or not enough.
With flare or with shame.
For necessities, for therapy, on vacation.
At Dollar Store or Neiman Marcus or Sears, depending.
We shop at the megastores because they're cheap and conve-
nient and everywhere and because they're what's happening. Their
weirdly upbeat slogans like "Getting It Together" and "Go Home
a Hero" give shopping a slightly surreal charge. Day-glow orange
pricing cards stick out at right angles from the shelves so you can't
miss the sale items.
If you have plenty of disposable income, that's one thing. If you
have no money at all, that's another thing.
If the money is tight, you're supposed to shop with mind-
numbing, penny-pinching care. All those coupons. All those cata-
logs, the fantasies, the games of imagining having this thing or three other men - n'.~,:=- ~ - .
that and what you would do with it. Then the splurges on a tub of are carrying big yelle"!
ice cream or the suicidal squandering of a trip to Las Vegas. ing, "Isn't this great: y:~.~- ~.::
She shops with Ariana at supermarkets that play loud music. fast, nervous and ex::::~~ ~ _~
She runs up and down the aisles to make her laugh. People smile sidewalk they hesita::e.~~-- : '
or come over and say something. One day a group of kids follow says something aboL: c ~:: _~ -
them around the store, bouncing in single file and making peek- SHIT!" A cop car pd' _::-- -
a-boo faces for the baby. Another day a man next to them in an man bravely goes m~e:~::: .::'
aisle starts making birdcalls. Ariana snaps her head to attention the red-faced guy sh,,~~ _ _ __
and stares at his mouth, amazed, while he runs through dozens of campus more than SiT:-~ .
expert imitations.
One day in Walgreens she sees a handsome young man waiting
in line. He wears a mechanic's uniform with his name stenciled
on the pocket. When he talks or smiles he holds his hand up over
his mouth but everyone stares anyway. His teeth are grossly mis- The ordinary can hapFe: : ~- ':'
shapen. A few stick straight out of his mouth. There's a double ences of shock, recog:~~::.:-
row on one side. Like he's never been to a dentist-not as a child, most ordinary practi:ec ~_- :: -
not now. to catch up with \\~he:~~.~_ :~
Sometimes she shops at Foodland-a poor people's supermar- In Target the casr_:e~
ket that everyone calls Food-stamps-Iand. The music is more rau- she's buying are for. "':". ~::
cous than at the other stores. It smells of disinfectant and the asking. Maybe vacuur:.: :~e~- : - :
cashiers wear layers of thick gold chains around their necks or thing. The cashier 5a~c
thick baby-blue eyeshadow. Homeless people walk up from the she just throws it a\\~8.~~.
river for cheap beer and bread. People live in cars and vans in the they made bags for \8.: __: _
parking lot. She begins to notice a woman who lives with her they make disposablc~: ~~- . ':
two kids in a truck. She has long, black hair and there's always a that's what the you:,; ::e ~:: _ .
big circle of white on the crown of her head. One night there's a alarmed. Or disorieme:. -
jumpy, red-faced man with her. He runs up to her, excited by his One day in PetS'T~::: '.
discovery that they have six-packs for two dollars. She gives him a talking to a clerk in r:- ~:~:: - ~- ..
hard stare. He says "What? Coke! I'm talking about coke! I found wanders from tank te ::.=.:.:::
a good deal on coke for the kids!" He tries to act outraged, as ifhe There's a wall of aqucr.=.:~: -:- .:
thinks he's an unsung hero, but it's like he's not quite up for it. orange. She has the se:;~:: ~
A few days later, she sees the jumpy, red-faced man on campus. before, if only in a dre~:~
He's on foot, crossing the street at the entrance to campus with In the early 19905 c..':~::
r - .' - - ~- . .:.::--.g this thing or three other men-two Latinos and one African American. They
~ -:--=-==-.:.-.= o?lurges on a tub of are carrying big yellow street signs, and the red-faced guy is say-
iErlJ~': .'.:. :,:? to Las Vegas. ing, "Isn't this great? What did I tell you? MAN!" They are moving
F.---.. '.-2t play loud music. fast, nervous and excited. But the minute they hit the campus
, - =, laugh. People smile sidewalk they hesitate, gathering in a loose circle. The black man
J> .:. ;roup of kids follow says something about security ... the cops. "What the fuck! Oh,
IIl: ;: ~:= andmaking peek- SHIT!" A cop car pulls up to the curb in front of them. The black
iar· L next to them in an
-. -'---. man bravely goes over and sticks his head in the window. Then
~. - .-.=: head to attention the red-faced guy slowly sidles up to the car. They haven't been on
~;ciL.:: ': , _:--.0 through dozens of campus more than sixty seconds.

lIIa:..
- -::-.= ~.'oungman waiting
••. II'.•·•·· ,.- . ~~ :-Cisname stenciled
"'IlL". '. - : .::ishis hand up over
~i ,:==:h are grossly mis-
"6IT." - _':~.. There's a double
~~;"'! =. -: ~_ :~st:- not as a child,
!
! to catch up with where you already are.
I'
- :: . : , ?cople's supermar-
_=-.= .-:lusicis more rau-
- ::..oinJectant and the
c: :..:.nd their necks or
. =-= -.-.,alk up from the
-. : ~:s and vans in the
-no lives with her
. . -'--cdthere's always a
, . c:: IJI1enight there's a
_ =- ':: her, excited by his
= : _~rs. She gives him a
-:: ~::,outcoke! I found
- -. ~:: outraged, as ifhe
: =-,: ': quite up for it.
k''" >-:.::::. man on campus.
• . -:: ':':--
..:e to campus with
The ordinary can happen before the mind can think. Little experi-
ences of shock, recognition, confusion, and deja vu pepper the
most ordinary practices and moves. Sometimes you have to pause
In Target the cashier asks her what the vacuum cleaner bags
she's buying are for. "What?" She doesn't understand what she's
asking. Maybe vacuum cleaner bags have gone defunct or some-
thing. The cashier says when her vacuum cleaner stops working
she just throws it away. "What?" The cashier says she didn't know
they made bags for vacuum cleaners. "What?" She thinks maybe
they make disposable vacuum cleaners now, or something. Maybe
that's what the young people use. Whatever. But she's a little
alarmed. Or disoriented. Or something.
One day in PetSmart she has deja vu. Her partner, Ronn, is
talking to a clerk in front of the bank of fish tanks, while Ariana
wanders from tank to tank, pressing her face up against the glass.
There's a wall of aquamarine blue water with shimmering flecks of
orange. She has the sensation that she's been in exactly this scene
before, if only in a dream.
In the early 1990S a stapler built into a copy machine takes her
aback. It's the last week of a fellowship at the Humanities Research and then morph into ': :-'.:-- -
Institute in Irvine. She's frantically copying journal articles to take tories take root and Lt.o::-.
:.~=
home with her. One of the other research fellows walks in, sticks Ian Hacking's Rei,.. ::
some papers into a slot on the side of the machine, and pulls them Sciences of Memol)' ([2.~0:' .-.:

out stapled. She feels a slight shock at the discovery that copy daIs morphed into Io:~
machines now have staplers built into them. A sense of unease extreme trajectories L:o: •. _ ~rl
spreads through her in a tangle of thoughts. What else doesn't she Satanic Ritual Abuse ~~_"
know about? Why doesn't she hear about these things? She feels Day care was (anci:, :c:: :.<
her mother's anxiety about answering machines, cell phones, self- work, gender, class, r2.~: -=--: Ii
serve gas pumps, and ATM machines. It's the fear of being caught mother had a drinki:-.~ :::: I:::
up in something you can't master, of being found out. A kind of that was articulated ,,'.:_-. -=--:
illiteracy. situation-the guilt. :.-.c::~=
She uses eBay to buy crib sheets and Teletubbie videos. One and sexual abuse were ::-~- - -
day she gets an e-mail with a colorful certihcate of achievement. her small child relate~ :c:.-
"Congratulations on your success! You're A Rising Star at eBay!" dream world blosson~~~ := =~ I-~

She's earned a yellow star for getting a good feedback rating from cases, convictions lie
eBay sellers. She's a valued member of the eBay community. "Keep care, women pulled 0''':': :: ..
shooting for the stars!" She feels slightly depressed, or slightly of the picture permar-.o::-.:.
stunned. Mass-market books ~ r _. : :
Her friend Andrew comes back to the neighborhood for a visit vided the prototypes :: f __- =
after being away for a year and a half He says it's great to be back abuse. Then therapis:; __0: f _r
but unnerving ("Have I been away?"). So many things are the multiple personalin' ': f.c
same, and then every once in a while there's something really dif- patients, asking theIT. ::
ferent that comes as a shock, like a house all of a sudden where symptoms and cause',
there used to be an empty lot or an open field. How did it get sonality disorder b:·
there? Who are those people inside, and how did they get the presenting symptoms :c:-. r.-:~ -:
basketball trophies up on the wall so fast? dard quickly shifted r~:r:-.-:' _
over a hundred, and ::--.0: -=--C-c:I'
ing to reintegrate the ?o:: .
loging the "multiples.
Conflicts bet'iveeE --
Big social shifts float by on distant, cloudy discourses and scan- trauma culture and [2.::::- .
dals. The conditions of life assemble themselves into something ries of these moveme·.:':
Il.[~ -- -: ~ _~_;.nities Research and then morph into something else. Sometimes extreme trajec-
articles to take tories take root and then take off with a life of their own.
.,., \yalks in, sticks Ian Hacking's Rewriting the Soul: Multiple Personality and the
- c: -:-e. and pulls them Sciences of Memory traces how the 1980s day care (sex abuse) scan-
.':' ::"O:iJ\'erythat copy dals morphed into recovered memory syndrome and then into
., : =-=-. .:c. ,ense of unease extreme trajectories like Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) and
---:-,:-t else doesn't she Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA).
II _' .-:' e tiings? She feels Day care was (and is) a tense issue rooted in the conditions of
iim!s;: r._,t.-e' :ell phones, self- work, gender, class, race, the family, and the state. One working
R ": :'e:-:of being caught mother had a drinking problem that led to a working problem
:: ..:.:-.ci out. A kind of that was articulated with the mass of public feelings about this
situation - the guilt, the stress, the rage. Stories of child abuse
•• _ -:-:e:..:.=:
bie videos. One and sexual abuse were beginning to circulate with force. Somehow
.:L. C ::-==of achievement.
- - her small child related a story of sexual abuse at day care and a
. -:: .'::1g Star at eBay!" dream world blossomed. Before we all woke up, there were court
•. =.tee ='·::<ack
rating from cases, convictions (all later overturned), kids pulled out of day
_
- =.::t:1mumty.
- - c
. "K eep care, women pulled out of work, male day care workers pulled out
=.e=::essed, or slightly of the picture permanently.
Mass-market books and the popular movies they spawned pro-
.: ~-.=:=.'rhoodfor a visit vided the prototypes for the extreme trajectories of trauma and
.=, great to be back abuse. Then therapists helped their patients write the original
:-=-.:-:='
.. things are the multiple personality stories and suggested the disorder to other
: :-=-.erhingreally dif- patients, asking them to identity with a compelling narrative of
~ =.:.a sudden where symptoms and causes. Talk shows spectacularized multiple per-
~e.='. How did it get sonality disorder by showcasing victims with ever more elaborate
r - .. iid they get the presenting symptoms and more and more personalities. The stan-
dard quickly shifted from having sixteen personalities to having
over a hundred, and the therapeutic aim shifted from one of try-
ing to reintegrate the personalities to one of identitying and cata-
loging the "multiples."
Conflicts between believers and disbelievers, and between
•. =-.' =.oursesand
scan- trauma culture and rationalism, also fueled the extreme trajecto-
• -:' .=s into something ries of these movements. A professional couple whose daughter
had recovered memories of child abuse founded the False Mem-
ory Syndrome Foundation - a highly focused and sophisticated
pressure group that was eventually able to shift the blame from
parents committing child abuse to therapists and their troubled
patients producing an abuse hysteria. People with multiple person-
ality disorder founded a society of their own that celebrated rather Flash mobs are lea2~~::
than pathologized their symptoms, thereby turning the "disorder" e-mail, and the \i7eb. -=---::
into a liberation movement. They began to use the term "alters," onstrating only that e.:= • ~ - -_::- _.
articulating with the diffuse New Age celebration of altered states At a Toys 'R Us, aid' •.• -
of consciousness to experience spiritual energies. Rationalists at- saurus rex, and ther: ~'::._
tacked the "pseudoscience" of the movement as a symptomatic of hands before quick'> :.. ~:
disease in itself Strands of feminism promoting the recognition of sembled at the food cc_:- -
child abuse contributed to counterattacks. Some therapists who nizers (identifiable k ••::: '
had become activists for their patients accused skeptics of being a they were holding) §:c':: •.
support group for child abusers. what to do next. Sr"c~._
Then even more extreme trajectories took off. Increasingly suddenly assembled 0::-_ •. -:: '. ==
bizarre events were recalled and accusations took a strange turn next to Grand CemL_ ~.~-
into the highly scripted story of Satanic Ritual Abuse. A radi- onds, then left.
cal wing of the movement came to believe that patients suffer- When Howard Dee.:: .
ing from dissociative disorders had been ritualistically abused by comic strip called for d ::-= .
satanic cults run by their parents and featuring the bloody sacrifice September 13, IO:35 _".'_ = _ ..
of babies. Police and social workers developed elaborate lists and Link arms in an eno .::•• _. _ -:
maps of the elements and scenes of Satanic Ritual Abuse, using "The Doctor is in:" D:,..-::: ::
them as diagnostic tools and standards of evidence in hundreds of Howard Dean's "Get 1... : '--
court cases. The opposing side argued that the therapeutic move- Another Bash mob .:.:::'
ment itself had practices that were very much like cult initiation, puter to compete \\'it:_ •.'.:: -' -
including hypnosis and suggestion. in the world by bring:::-_;:. ~.
Such trajectories and metamorphoses are not just dead social tion, networking thee •• ::::--:'
constructions that we can track back to a simple origin, but forms major scientific problc: = -:., '

of contagion, persuasion, and social worlding.

 ,he False Mem-
- =- ~::.
e=--,-::cdsophisticated
-__~ ,he blame from
- - -,-=-_d
their troubled
.,=-:J1Ultipleperson-
- ,_-.o, celebrated rather
-_=-=-_::cg the "disorder"
_,~ ,:,e term "alters,"
- -_-.: ::cof altered states
: -:: :.~'. Rationalists at-
: -, .os a symptomatic
- =-; ,:,e recognition of
: : ::ce therapists who
-:-=-
'~,eptics of being a
: ,: off. Increasingly
- ,::'-"'-a strange turn
----
_, _~ Abuse. A radi-
: ,_-.-'-,patients suffer-
- _-'---:5 Iically abused by
- ; , e bloody sacrifice
:-e=-e:aborate lists and
-: ;~wal Abuse, using
- : _=-c::ccein hundreds of
- :_-_c,herapeutic move-
_:_- ::ke cult initiation,
I:: =-_JIjust dead social
--.=:::: origin, but forms
Flash mobs are leaderless gatherings organized by cell phone,
e-mail, and the Web. The mobs usually do something silly, dem-
onstrating only that a floating connection can flash into flesh.
At a Toys 'R Us, a flash mob stared at an animatronic Tyranno-
saurus rex, and then fell to the floor with screams and waving
of hands before quickly dispersing. In New York, participants as-
sembled at the food court in Grand Central Station, where orga-
nizers (identifiable by the copies of the New York Review of Books
they were holding) gave mobbers printed instructions regarding
what to do next. Shortly after 7 PM about two hundred people
suddenly assembled on the mezzanine of the Grand Hyatt Hotel
next to Grand Central Station, applauded loudly for fifteen sec-
onds, then left.
When Howard Dean was running for president, a Doonesbury
comic strip called for a Howard Dean flash mob. Time: Saturday,
September 13, IO:35 AM. Place: Foot of Space Needle. Activity:
Link arms in an enormous circle, hop up and down chanting
"The Doctor is in!" Disperse. The idea immediately appeared on
Howard Dean's "Get Local" Web site as an action tool.
Another flash mob tried to produce a momentary supercom-
puter to compete with the fastest and most expensive computers
in the world by bringing conventional computers to a single loca-
tion, networking them together and putting them to work on a
major scientific problem. It didn't work, but it almost did.
 of O. J. playing go~i.:-.=-.
skyrocketing. \'\Te ,T,:, ~:- ~ ,,"

dal spreads throug:~, .:.<~ -,::

thong panties, the ~.:.::-
e ~: J

a sensory imagina T:~:-. ~- '::-'1

Things flash up-little worlds, bad impulses, events alive with Scenes of public .:.~~e- - -:
some kind of charge. cial news into eccc.~~ :.1
Sudden eruptions are fascinating beyond all reason, as if they're killing spree. Afte: .:.~'e
divining rods articulating something. But what? of his love life, his ~~_~~_~. - -'~
into a life of its 0\\':-. ,:-, - _ -=-::-11'

run. Someone spc'~' .-.. t::- -

Mercedes Benz \T,:~:-.:: .•
with money. The r:~~:-e'
Scenes of impact catch the senses: LA in flames, a trailer wrapped clothes like a [\\':5::::= ~' -
in crime scene tape, the memorial ribbons and stuffed animals the king offash:c:-.. := _. ~. "J

lying at the feet of a still-smoking building. The plots become or something. Th::~=-. ._
so familiar we can list them in shorthand: disgruntled workers exactly, such thing:' .:.~e
going postal; jilted lovers and kids with guns opening fire in pub-
lic; orderly men who keep too much to themselves revealed to
be serial killers butying bodies in their backyards; the black men
beaten, raped, and killed by cops; homegrown militias whipped
into rage at the sight of unmarked helicopters and the stench of Jokes circulate abc .:~-
lost freedoms; messages coming through the mail as literal letter directly to semar:.:-. ~ _~
bombs or with anthrax in white powder or in a brown sandlike together.
substance. One day, shon:" .:.~e·
These scenes have an afterlife; it isn't like you can put a stop to the neighborhooc .. -.
them. Following the details of a breaking event is as compelling on quirky characr:::' ~. . -TIc:

as doing a crossword puzzle; once you get into it you have to stick fabricated on dro-.','-- :..- .
with it so you can get to the end and get out. One day there is
the amazing scene of O. J. Simpson's white Ford Bronco traveling
down an L.A. freeway, and before you know it you are into the
glove, the blood stains, the barking dog, the racist words of the
detective, the verdict, the reactions. Later, there are the sightings
 of o. J. playing golf in Florida and the sales of white Ford Broncos
skyrocketing. We watch, amazed, as the Clinton-Lewinsky scan-
dal spreads through a string of serial fetishes: the stained dress, the
thong panties, the tapes, the neckties, the cigar. The details incite
a sensory imagination that spirals off, following leads.
Scenes of public attention routinely drift over the fence of offi-
cial news into eccentric circulation. Andrew Cunanan goes on a
killing spree. After a few days of trying to track the traveling clues
of his love life, his friendships, and his murders, the story flashes
into a life of its own in multiple sightings of the actual man on the
run. Someone spots him in Lebanon, New Hampshire, in a gray
Mercedes Benz with Florida license plates and his pockets stuffed
with money. The money is falling out of cracks and crevices in his
-'-~::-ailerwrapped clothes like a twisted fashion statement from the guy who killed
- c~::. '::--"ttedanimals the king of fashion. But all that turns out to be just apparitions
-::. -=-:-." dots become or something. There is never any real effort to determine what,
~ z::-'-":-:ded
workers exactly, such things are.
-.
• ~ ,,=-.::-.~hre lil pu b -
'-.:-=-.'''.cs revealed to
~::.' ~:lCblack men
=-. :-:-:: :ias 'whipped
::-'::. ~.~ ~:le stench of Jokes circulate about how we might as well just wire ourselves
-': -=-.:.... -=..s
literal letter directly to sensation buttons and skip the step of content al-
. - -'-::'::-,w.-nsandlike together.
One day, shortly after 9/n, she gets an e-mail from a friend in
. _ ::.:...-:.
Flit a stop to the neighborhood who likes to keep up a running commentary
IIE:JL:":: . : =-.: .' compelling
2.S on quirky characters and scenes spied from her studio windows or
::-" iave to stick fabricated on drowsy afternoon walks. Her friend writes:
_: = :-.Cday there is
- :::.:3 ::-:,:-:cotraveling Here's a good story we would have had a few yuks about during
::---::"-"are into the coffee club. A friend of mine works @ St. Luke's Roosevelt hospital
::-:'::'.'~\\'ords of the in a building that housed several psychology and psychiatry offices.
:.' ::~ ~" the sightings Of course, it's not the big money area and the building is very rinky-
 dink and tenament-ish, not a big target for anthrax, let's just put it
that way. She works with mothers who have drug abuse problems,
and the office downstairs treats juvie-delinquent adolescent types.
Apparently, a few weeks ago one of the women who work in the office
downstairs turns on the ale (window unit) for a little conditioning
action and a white dust sprays out all over her. Yikes! They call the She's living in a tra::::~ ~' J

Center for Disease Control and men in white suits and gas masks Vegas. Her place is 2":'~;",-'' , .:
invade. My friend who is working upstairs is dubious-and so the brick through a winc.~··
people in her office just stay and work while the downstairs is cor- less old stereo, and 5':::,:': :' '.
doned off and investigated. They rush the substance off to the lab and large pair of scissors. -::-',::' . '.C

put everyone who was in the office on Cipro. Then the test results the police. "Kids," ti,,::,:: ~- =
come back. Low and behold, the substance tests positive for cocaine! at all the stuff pulIce ': _.: . : ':,':,
So good, isn't it? They think one of the juvies hid their stash in the ready to go. She sho'." :.',:- ::J
ale when he was afraid of being searched. I think it's a brilliant idea look at it and then c.~~ ,
to start pumping cocaine into the workplace. No need for caffeine black-and-white pho.:: ;~:~'_
anymore, let's just move right on up to the next level of productivity "Did they stick the':: _~ -
inspiration. Whadaya say? at her.
She calls the ma:" '::::-.:..'
can't get a piece of .
her computer over ':0 '

tells her he came hon',:: ,,': Cc

We will follow any hint of energy, at least for a little while. had emptied the pIa::: c...' .:
When something happens, we swarm toward it, gaze at it, sniff kids with her. And
it, absorb its force, pour over its details, make fun of it, hide from five-piece blue veh-e.: •
it, spit it out, or develop a taste for it. We complain about the for the kids in the \'8.: C'
compulsion to participate. We deny its pull. We blame it on the rough, handmade ch::~:
suburbs and TV and ourselves. Bur we desire it too, and the cure is of the three bears: a :-:=:~'':
usually another kind of swarming, this time under the sign of re- He had been planni:-:;, ~':' ;,:
demption: a mobilization for justice, a neighborhood watch com· girlfriend is calling -', c -

mittee, some way of keeping our collective eyes open. Something great the sex is with h:: ~ :-,:
to do. over to fix their toilet ":-,: ' '::'
Out of the blue he .:..<.:' ='
she's alone. They cou.~ :,: ~
 ,~ _' .:. -'--
..::''1r~x,let's just put it
. ': ::.~ugabuse problems,
III: _. - r ::':::'.:adolescent types.
-'::. "'::'0 \York in the office
11:;;, _: . :':::. :inle conditioning
':r 'likes! They call the She's living in a trailer park outside Nellis Air Force Base in Las
lIIIi::' , ... :: ';lits and gas masks Vegas. Her place is burglarized in plain daylight. Someone hurls a
=-_Jious-and so the brick through a window, rifles through everything, steals a worth-
c :.-.: jo\Ynstairs is cor- less old stereo, and sticks a note onto the living room wall with a
_= ::.=::.= off to the lab and large pair of scissors. The note says, simply, "Yeah, boy." She calls
-=-:-.=:1 the test results the police. "Kids," they say.They roam through the rooms looking
'. := :,::.' iLi,'e for cocaine! at all the stuff pulled out of drawers, the computer unplugged and
, :-,::' :ieir stash in the ready to go. She shows them the note stuck in the wall. Their eyes
. -"':-..:: ::', a brilliant idea look at it and then drift over the walls, skimming the dozens of
- ~,~:::,
:1~ed for caffeine black-and-white photographs of weathered characters tacked up.
'c' .:-=1 of productivity "Did they stick these up too?" "No, those are mine." They look
at her.
She calls the maintenance man to come fix the window. He
can't get a piece of plywood until the next morning, so she carries
her computer over to his trailer. His living room is empty. He
tells her he came home the week before to find that his girlfriend
~ . ':' __:c[c: while. had emptied the place and left, just like that. She took her three
~::. ::. gaze at it, sniff kids with her. And she took the only thing he had ever won-a
- c..: =_== of it, hide from five-piece blue velvet living room suite. He had built a playscape
=: =-=-,=,lain
about ~he for the kids in the yard: a wooden bridge over a little plastic pool;
= _, --:: dame it on the rough, handmade chairs lined up against the trailer like the chairs
"= ,= = =c!. and the cure is of the three bears; a machine of some sort covered with stickers.
- = _=.-=-::r the sign of re- He had been planning to get goldfish for the pond. Now the old
'= :':' =,=:--.oodwatch com- girlfriend is calling him in the middle of the night to tell him how
: ~'::'=!pen. Something great the sex is with her new boyfriend, and one day he even went
over to fix their toilet while they stood watching him.
Out of the blue he asks her to marry him since he's alone and
she's alone. They could help each other. She says no thanks. The
next day he helps her move to a single-wide trailer three streets station and he slips c.'c.
over. He won't take any money so she takes him out to dinner. him.
He wants to use a coupon a woman gave him in lieu of a day's The park manager f-'--. :(

pay for helping her move her office. He doesn't know where the that all the break-ins "'fce
place is, though, so she gets the name and address off the coupon. pened. A line ofbulb.-. '~ce~r'
Dean's Roadside Cafe. She drives up and down a long road lined the back wall of the Q..:: r::' , .
with strip malls. She asks him ifhe can see the place. "What letter to the other. Thev m ·":ffr._~
does it start with?" She looks at him: "a D." Minutes pass. She once and for all. One ':~.~.:-.
ce- ...
asks him again if he can see it. He admits he doesn't know what a can't quite read.
"D" looks like. She finds the place-a sport's bar-and they order Then people stan r'.: ~.:~.; '- .
sandwiches. Nervously, he gives the waitress the coupon and ex- jeep patrolling up an.~ ..::
plains that someone gave it to him. The waitress stares at the little with its headlights 06.= r:: ';::
piece of paper, scowling. "What's this supposed to be?" "She said of it slowly passing. s:-::..
it was a coupon to get one free." "No, you can't use this here. It's or five men hanging -=-_-~ :
l~ ~- .J

been whited out." She looks at him like he's a criminal. guns and spotlights ir'. ~':-.:.. ..:..:.
On the way home, they have to stop at a casino. He insists of" commulllty.". ane ..c.:~.:r.." :
they use valet parking. Then he rushes in, changes a twenty dollar if they've been taken i:: ..~-::~c.
bill, and loses it in a slot machine in less than a minute. She can't tions of reality TV CO?'.-: -.
believe how perfunctory it is-like blowing your nose or going to over some line intO d s~"'~::
the bathroom or something. They leave immediately. He says he surreal scenes of SUdC:: :,
never brings more than twenty dollars. silently in the nighL.
A few days later he leaves on a midnight bus to Houston. He She and some or ~.-.ce
asks her if she knows where the bus station is and how he might meeting to get these ;_'
get there. Then he's just gone. He doesn't say goodbye to anyone. teenager.
He doesn't let his boss know he's leaving because he's afraid he'll The soldiers do \';:l.c.~ ~,-.
be mad and won't let him go. She finds out the manager has only
been paying him enough for some food and letting him stay in his
trailer. Now he's off, looking for a life. He's got an old girlfriend
in Houston. She's married now, so she's out, but her daughter had
a crush on him when she was kid. She's a paraplegic now from a The nightly ne,vs re?: r-:.'
car wreck. He's hoping he can go there and take care of her and be popping under pres,_::
her man. That's his plan. He sells everything he can to get a hun- canes. Then a reco'.-o.:-·-fr.:
dred dollars for a bus ticket. Somehow he gets himself to the bus stop watching the no." .
 . ::.= ~~ailerthree streets station and he slips away. She never hears anything more about
II1U : .~':= .-.:0 out to dinner. him.
1iL,,~ :.' "'.~. :n lieu of a day's The park manager calls a community meeting. He announces
-: ::..",:-.'~lillow where the that all the break-ins are over. She points our that hers just hap-
11111 ' ::. c::' ::.~=
's off the coupon. pened. A line of bulky, stern-looking, air force guys leaning against
'ili':-. a long road lined the back wall of the Quonset hut shift their weight from one foot
It :-" :.'.= -::ace.
"What letter to the other. They murmur something about putting a stop to it
'. ::nures pass. She once and for all. One of them catches her eye with a hard look she
t".,,:-.· .,,::.: ",m'tknow what a can't quite read.
t- _., ~-'.: - and they order Then people start noticing a late-model, brightly colored, party
~__.'" coupon and ex- jeep patrolling up and down the streets at all hours of the night
I.. ::=;; stares at the little with its headlights off. One night, when she wakes up to the sound
;ildIJ =~ ~o be?" "She said of it slowly passing, she looks our and sees the dark shapes of four
"~"i : ~. ~ ·.lse this here. It's or five men hanging off the sides of the jeep with semiautomatic
IIIlE ::. : ::oinal. guns and spotlights in their hands. It's as if some floating images
~ ,. ::.:asino. He insists of "community" and "action" have suddenly become visceral. As
IIIIIIli . :...-.~=s a twenty dollar if they've been taken too literally, merging with the graphic repeti,
~tlIT ::.:::. __. ::. 8:nute. She can't tions of reality TV cop shows. As if "community" itself has drifted
It :: .. : ::.~nose or going to over some line into a state of free-fall, scripting the everyday with
, . - -:-=::.:ately.He says he surreal scenes of strange community meetings and jeeps passing
silently in the night.
~ ;101 _: ... ~ _' ~o Houston. He She and some of the others have to call another emergency
• a__
~dhow he might meeting to get these guys to stop before they shoot someone's
~iillli ~ :~,dbye to anyone. teenager.
. ,,:::.::.:'"he's afraid he'll The soldiers do what they're told .
, . ::.:.=::lanager has only
.=:-:::::ghim stay in his
:I - : ~ : ~ an old girlfriend
I _. ::. _~her daughter had

l ' ::.::..:-a?:egic now from a The nightly news reports an endless series of incidents of people
, ::.:.c.::=::.areof her and be popping under pressure or getting hit by stray bullets and hurri-
~'·i,., ....
_" ' can to get a hun-
; .'.'" canes. Then a recovery-movement guru recommends that we just
IIfrr .: ::':mself to the bus stop watching the news, listing it as one of the five major sources
.
of stress today. And, for a second, there's a pause in the flow as if
we stop to wonder if this is the little bit of advice that will finally
reach us like a fortune cookie shot straight from the factory to our
personal plate to spawn a quiet moment of clear thinking.
Too clear, maybe.

meets resistance, g:::~'~~.~ _-

thing it can't get oc ::-
It gyrates to mo:c _:.::
We look for a lesson in Columbine and its offshoots; or for a along. The fast, cd; :-
glaring cause like bad parenting (too much parenting? too little something to do: ~~::: c~

parenting? What kind of parenting?); or for some suddenly rec- red wine a day (or Li:: :::~~_~
ognizable copycat phenomenon coming from something in our oil; don't eat carbs :..:'-_
"society." It's as if some quick knowing of why bad things happen from your arteries: ::~~
would be a sign that we care, or notice things, if only in retro- lesterol; try antio:\::c~:-~
spect. Against this tenc::-:-
But the kids, or the records they leave behind, tell stories that into a fictional sac::='c: -:
have their own complex trajectories: they're caught in an obsessive pacts onto stages. R:: _. -
focus on the details of a BIG scenario; they're surging to escape ing both practical t:: c -:::
a trapped life; they're dangerously depressed; they're alone with hitting, lived recog::'..~
~_:-
their cadre and their plan. These stories don't end in a moral but compulsions perm:::..~:::::::..
are left to resonate with all the other ways that intensities rise out to get free of them (,:-~c: :...-:..-
I

of the ordinary and then linger, unresolved, until memory dims or

some new eruption catches our attention.
The intensity of erupting events draws attention to the more
ordinary disturbances of everyday life. Or it distracts us from
them. Or both. It's as if the news of the weird shows what could Benny has been Str:..:;:-_~:
happen if half-known pressure points, in the wrong hands, were a wild Pentecostal :~~_::.
cooked down to some basic craziness and pushed to a violent end. Christ church of
And we're left with the visible signs of relays we can't name or pre- Benny has a visior:.
dict and don't know what to do with. that. They'll ride ir:. -

12See Eve Kosofsi:· ~:-:..:-

(Durham, N.C.: Dei:: ._- :
 ~ _,:-::-:.the flow as if
~1. - c -::- ~:-:'atwill finally
:_-_~:_:-tacrory to our
- _ :-"'-:~_-_::1king.

The body hums along, rages up, or deflates. It goes with the flow,
meets resistance, gets attacked, or finds itself caught up in some-
thing it can't get out of.
It gyrates to mold itself to every new techno-gadget that comes
. =,_-_::,Qts;or for a along. The fast, edgy corrections of self-help regimens give it
- ~"'-~:-:_
.
~:D.g?
~ roo litde something to do: take an aspirin a day (or not); drink a glass of
•:-:-:-suddenly rec- red wine a day (or not); eat butter, or low-fat margarine, or canola
: :1~:-thingin our oil; don't eat carbs at all; eat oatmeal to strip the bad cholesterol
~"'-=-
~bngs happen from your arteries; eat wild Alaskan salmon to add the good cho-
.~-:':1lv in retro- lesterol; try antioxidants or kava kava or melatonin.
Against this tendency, a spate of memoirs works the lone self
~:-llsrories that into a fictional sacrifice powerful enough to drag the world's im-
_ : c _~:_ an obsessive
~ ::' pacts onto stages. Recovery groups add density to the mix, offer-
_ -= ..:.~§:i:1g ro escape ing both practical recipes for self-redeeming action and a hard-
_:. -=--_:---.~-: alone with hitting, lived recognition of the twisted, all-pervasive ways that
- :::_~ ::-:.a moral but compulsions permeate freedoms and are reborn in the very surge
- c -:_~:-=-_,i[iesrise out to get free of them once and for all.12
-.~_.=_"':TIorvdims or

to the more
-- = .-. ~.:..-:.
.- =--,~~acrsus from
:::. ,_-_:-: .., what could Benny has been straight for a year and a half. He starts going to
.:::-:.g hands, were a wild Pentecostal church. Then he decides to start a Bikers for
-.:-=-~J a violent end. Christ church of his own. The members go to prisons, visiting.
:- : .:-=-_
r name or pre- Benny has a vision of a big trip to Huntsville or someplace like
that. They'll ride in on, like, 150 Harleys and go up the aisles in

12 See Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, "Epidemics of the Will," in Tendencies

(Durham, N.C.: Duke University Press, 1993).

front of all the cages. He can hear the roar of the engines. He sees
the bikes and muscled bodies following him in. He feels the eyes
of the prisoners on him. He says it'll give them a thrill.

ing" is something cce-'.:-:'·

An old friend, Joyce, calls her with horror stories of trying to save hindsight. But it's 1,C ~ _< ~, I

her daughter Lilly from a bad addiction. She says it's like Lilly's an actual fold or Ie-';~~;c
in a dream world and she just doesn't care. Joyce realizes how bad There are man\' c;;:'-; ,-'
things are when she goes to bail Lilly out of jail one night but work better than c ~:-,c:-
Lilly refuses to leave her girlfriend and her girlfriend's baby. She Some can be prolc:-,;c ~
demands that her mother go get diapers for the baby as if that's and have to be co:-,'~-'.:-.~.
the only thing that matters. The difference ofcer:~c-; c- ~
Now Lilly's back staying with Joyce and working at Wendy's. work with.
She's saying she wants to get straight so she and her girlfriend But even thosecc,:-:',c
and the baby can get a place of their own. Her license has been behind them are s:i~~~. - ~'
revoked, so Joyce is spending four hours a day driving her over the and they still make r:~:' -
mountain to work and picking her up at midnight. not the smartest lhi:-::
The road is bad, especially at night, and twice this week Joyce that's not always Ihe ':-:-,~;::
has been followed by the same truck and car. The first time they the possibilities e\'C::-,:: "C ~_- ci

were shooting and she didn't know if they were shooting at her,
at each other, or at the road signs. But they finally passed her. The
other time they appeared out of the fog right behind her, but after
a while they just cut out their lights and disappeared.
One day Joyce called one of the hospitals that advertise addic- Sometimes the scel,C
tion programs. They told her it would cost four hundred dollars figure on the horizcl=-_ -
a day. She said ''Are you crazy?" She said, "Those ads are wrong suspended in the a:r -, -
that say if you need help you can get it. The rich people can help out of place can be -'. ;c ~.-'-: ,
their kids but not the poor people. Now if I thought I could get Or just funny, quir~-:-.-'.:-:
off cigarettes I'd stand naked in the four-lane to town. But now simultaneously to ,:--,C ':"-", '-=-- =:=
wait 'til you have kids; you can just kiss your mind goodbye." nary affects that anic-'.;c .~ -'--~
Her mother's p2.i:-..;::-;
says it really is, becc..•.'c ~,-:;: .3
 - ~- .:::--_:: ::ngines. He sees
IN'i _- - _::-_,:-Ie feels the eyes

: ~-_::::-::-_
.:.::hrill.

The closure of "the self" or "community" or some kind of "mean-

ing" is something dreamy that happens in a moment of hope or
•,_::' of trying to save hindsight. But it's not just ideology or irrelevant fancy, but rather
• -:: ,.:.~,-s it's like Lilly's an actual fold or texture in the composition of things .
::: r::alizeshow bad There are many compositions of subjects and meanings. Some
one night but work better than others. Some are smoother, more consistent.
- .::-,:,"'=-imd's baby. She Some can be prolonged. Others operate clumsily, break down,
- , ~-_::babv as if that's
/
and have to be constantly rethought. They can lead to trouble.
The difference often depends on what material a person has to
,::.:ingat Wendy's.
c, : work with.
-:: .:.:-:.d
her girlfriend But even those compositions with all the weight of the world
-- ::-::::,:icense has been behind them are still live. They still get hit by forces that shock
_ ::~-- -=-:-i':ing
her over the and they still make moves to leave themselves behind, even if it's
not the smartest thing in the world to do. Or they get stuck and
~T ~::: this week Joyce
--::::: that's not always the smartest thing either. We remain alert to all
~, _,C _ ::..: first time they
~_:: the possibilities even if we think we know it all.

.iH
•••. ;:

~
-::,:: shooting at her,
=::-_.:.:_~,-passed her. The
- -- - ,:::--.indher, but after
ll-., _::- , c:: -: ::2Ied.
i!i) advertise
::"'-.:.:: addic- Sometimes the scene of a finished life appears like a beautiful
.IJ1LL: hundred dollars
- --• ..:., figure on the horizon. For a minute, it's like a snapshot hangs
-=-_-_:s:: ads are wrong suspended in the air while we watch, wide-eyed. But a little detail
- -: ,::-: people can help out of place can be a telltale sign of something terribly wrong.
- : :",_,:mghtI could get Or just funny, quirky, a boink in the perfect scene. We're drawn
__- -::::0 town. But now simultaneously to the amazing bubble image and to all the ordi-
goodbye." nary affects that animate it and pull it apart.
Her mother's painting class has become a support group. She
says it really is, because there are interesting people in it, mean-
ing they have interesting lives, meaning they all have their prob- Her mother, Claire
lems-something to talk about and something to hide, too. her problems. So the ::: ~.
Mary is the quiet one who never says a word and everything is life. When she gave ::--.~:-:
. .:....~ :
always fine with her. But one day she lets something slip about a novel The Notebook, :.'~ c.
first husband and they're all over it. To make a long story short, husband were like, 0:-.= c:
she married the guy who helped her get away from her first hus- a woman who did soc=:.· __~'- :..
band and now they're so happy they eat low-fat vegetarian food, do that, but I bet C::
take all kinds of pills, and measure and weigh everything so they
can go on living forever.
Sue's first husband was cheap. He wouldn't spend a dime. He
took to his bed on their wedding day and never got up again. He
finally committed suicide on the day of her second marriage. The Like a live wire, ,he '.: =:. c..::
others notice that she talks fast and never seems to sit down. in the process of its
They suspect Betty comes from money. She's more of the gar- agulation of intensit:e;
den club crowd. But her family isn't exactly what you'd call good pressions, it's a thins .=. ". .
to her and she lost her only son in a car wreck. She paints too events it traverses or ::-..'.:: .'
fast; she's just happy to get one thing done and get on to the next Things happen, ~'.~~: -
one. Her husband makes the little boxes and plaques she needs to someplace it didn't e·,::::.
keep her busy. She's nice talking but once in a while she'll swear-
"That son of a bitch."
Carol's husband quit working because he couldn't take the
stress. He roamed around the house all day. Then he decided that
most of his stress came from her. He started following her around A cheerful e-mail.=c:-:'.=
the house, writing down in a little leather notebook everything When he lived in r~~~ ~_~_- _
she did that stressed him out. he would stop b:·, 2:-;:-; ~_
Donna's husband left her and their four kids for a younger the streets, or dolls 0: -::..- - -
woman. She finally found another man but the others are suspi- objects, real or imag::-.~c
cious of him because he told Donna that she was 50000 beautiful sional phone calL
and he said that she was going to turn his life around. (The eyes
roll). She has his ring and he's moved in with her and right away Mike was here ~:: :.' .
he's quit his job and he wants her to sell her house and buy an- around, and then :-~'c' _
other one because he doesn't want to have to be reminded of her a wonderful week cr. C .:. ~ ~.

former husband. And it looks like he drinks. She's counting. It to Wisconsin, no::: :~.
looks like it's four cocktails a night, at least. rather, it turns ou:. ::
;ml- c-_:,aye their prob- Her mother, Claire, is the good listener. She doesn't like to air
I. hide, too.
- :: :: her problems. So the others think she's the one with the perfect
z' ' ~:: c-;d everything is life. When she gave them all a copy of Nicholas Sparks's romantic
,', ~:.';r1g slip about a novel The Notebook, they decided that was what Claire and her
m:. - - c.c::: :: .::::1gstory short, husband were like. One day when one of them was talking abour
Ir' _ ,~ ::-:1her first hus- a woman who did something daring she said, "Well I would never
l"" '"~getarian food,
.~::: do that, bur I bet Claire would."
~;al _ c:. - ::':::::-::::hing
so they

_:- ':::::::1d a dime. He

., _ ::~;:: up again. He
lilt -:-.::' :narriage. The Like a live wire, the subject channels what's going on around it
:: ';I down. in the process of its own self-composition. Formed by the co-
II[ •. ~: ~~::re of the gar- agulation of intensities, surfaces, sensations, perceptions, and ex-
1'-::: ,--ou"dcall good pressions, it's a thing composed of encounters and the spaces and
III : :':. S~e paints too events it traverses or inhabits.
115= - _.-:: ::::::: on to the next Things happen. The self moves to react, often pulling itself
::::::::, she needs to someplace it didn't exactly intend to go.
f'r ., __::c ,he'll swear-

:: ::dn't take the

I: "'. -.:--:::- :-_~decided that

it: " : -<~g her around A cheerful e-mail comes from her friend Andrew in Chicago.
- J~ everything When he lived in his tiny little house down the street from her,
he would stop by, bringing acorns that had dropped in piles on
- ror a younger the streets, or dolls or paintings he had made, or stories of found
'1lIJ - - _ - ":: : :::ers are suspi- objects, real or imagined. Now it's e-mails coming in and an occa-
iii ,.'::.' ,")1)00 beautiful sional phone call.
IllEr' :.l::1d. (The eyes
:::

c::: ---.::: ,:'::1dright away Mike was here for the week, and it's always so fun to have him
iI[J . ::~.: :'::c and buy an- around, and then he has to go, and I get a little blue. 0, well, we had
1m ::::: :::::minded of her a wonderful week and did all sorts of fun things. Yesterdaywe drove
~ .-.::c', counting. It to Wisconsin, not to get apples, though we intended to do that, but
rather, it turns out, to snoop on Kenosha and Racine. In Kenosha,
 which was as cute as a bug, and just about as small, we saw a sign that dumfounded. \'('112,' ,~c-
said "Estate Sale" ... oh; you can imagine me salivating at that can't gats! Fuck you fagge,'
you? An estate sale in Sneekcraggle, Wisconsin?! Let's go! There's a sad siJ,::-.-=-:'
So we do. It's down a regular street of suburban homes. And then "But how did dre-
down a road that's narrower and the houses smaller, then down a "Hellooooo~
gravel path to homes that are EASILY half the size of my house in enjoying themsek:,
Austin! Really! It's like miniature people live on this street. All sorts "Oh."
of trees and bushes separate the homes and the grass is mowed "up
to a certain point" and then it's just weeds. The garage with the sale
is about six inches below ground level and is filled with the most
charming display of things and more things. And it's all half off. I get
a cluster of old rusty knives and forks taped together with the price Encounters can hacC' ::-. ,--" ','1
"$I.48 for ALL (8)," and Mike gets two crimson sateen brocade pil- ones, either.
lows that looked like they are inspired by the Ali Baba-in-the-Harem One day the \yc:-:-. .=....' ,

look. Inside, I can't pass up the crocheted carnations, which you are turns and stares 2I ~.:, ;:,--=- _".J

supposed to use as pulls for your window shades! So many other spreading over her '2:-.-=-: ,_
wonders that we can't or won't buy but it is a lovely dream. And the She smiles bac~~ 2, ~-:
sellers! Mike and I are ready to move in just to hang out with them. ment of locked ga.=> '
All of them very Wisconsiny, lots of O's and gee-whizzes. There is a young woman nod, e':: .J

room full of Betty Whites! All trying to help us figure out the half "Well I live in Ihe :-:e~- _ . -- ••
price. She keeps saying "0, gee. This is a hard one! One forty-eight! so)." The woman ::-2':-:.'
o gee, what would that be, then? Wow, well let's go on to this one, lips as if to say, "He":'. :-c.:-.
half of twenty-five, well, let's call it twelve cents, ok?" and on like her eyes are gleam::-:~
that. I am totally cuted our because they are all over seventy and are She slides her IT." -=-. e ,-
wearing Bulls parkas. The day is like that. No apples, bur lots of yel- "Ok, then. Bye-ke, ._
low and butterscotch and red trees. Just calming to drive through. sees her come OUI 2":-.= ~:-
She tells the SIC:-- 2, '

Then another e-mail comes from Andrew about a trip through course the woma:-: -'2,

Virginia. He and Mike are stopped at a traffic light. A gang of thing.

punks parades across the street wearing black clothes, safety pins, Oh. Yea. I guess,:
day-glow hair, and piercings. Andrew beams at them, following But the smiling ::-:-.2~:
their progress with pleasure until one of the women starts point-
ing at them, screaming something. Andrew stares at her mouth,
 \\~esaw a sign that
l'' ' _ ~ ~~ :-:-~~:, dumfounded. What's that she's saying? "Look at the fucking fag-
C::' - -, = '~:',~dtingat that can't gots! Fuck you faggots! Fuck you!"
lif - - =-=t'S go! There's a sad silence in the car.
~ _= _:.-: ~-~ homes. And then "But how did they know, Mike?"
It: _ .:-:-.2.11er,then down a "Hellooooo! Two men driving in a car together ... clearly
"" . --= <:c", of my house in enjoying themselves ... wearing sweaters .... "
III!I = .~, ~:-.:ssrreet. All sorts "Oh."
l1li::, _ -- = ~~dSS is mowed "up
~, ~- = ~2rdgewith the sale
!i'i." =='--:",d with the most
-.-.:. :~'sall half off. I get
ill: ~=~:-'",rwith the price Encounters can happen anywhere. And not the just sad and scary
1IJi"" ••.. ~ '2~eenbrocade pil- ones, either.
i -."-..32ba-in-the-Harem One day the woman in front of her at the convenience store
_ .~2~.=':1S,which you are turns and stares at her, grinning, a look of dawning recognition
.E_-2~=S: SO many other spreading over her tanned young face. Her eyes are ecstatic.
illLr ~=>dream. And the She smiles back at the young woman. Then, after a long mo-
rn :. ~-~-'--1.g out with them. ment of locked gazes, she says, "You think you know me." The
_.- = ~==-~',~hizzes. There is a young woman nods ever so slightly and heaves a sigh of pleasure.
!! . " •...' :=gureout the half "Well I live in the neighborhood. Maybe we met through (so and
i ~'':' :•... :< One forty-eight! so)." The woman barely shrugs and slowly puts a finger up to her
=. =~, go on to this one, lips as if to say, "Hush (little baby, don't you cry)." She sighs again;
_ =:•... ~" ok?" and on like her eyes are gleaming.
s:: ~·c •....~ =~,~er seventy and are She slides her money past the young woman to pay the cashier.
m_ 2Z? les, but lots of yel- "Ok, then. Bye-bye." As she is pulling out of the parking lot she
fit" _ •...- ~; ~odrive through. sees her come out and get on her bike.
She tells the story at home that night and it's decided that of
_ . ~.~ZJut a trip through course the woman was on something-acid or ecstasy or some-
I _ .. :.....:.:.:.
light. A gang of thing.
- ~=:: .:.:othes, safety pins, Oh. Yea. I guess so.
rJ'lV" : =~~.' 2t them, following But the smiling image stays with her for a day or two.
lit Jmen starts point-
_. - :,'.'

".~ .•L,;'~,__ _ ~-':2.res at her mouth,

 milk or a newspapc '~'~~ c _ -

things together.
Differences of at ~=--
tion, sometimes aIT.-':;~:-:':
_.
interest in somethi,.Z ; .
The labor of looking has been retooled and upgraded so we can are displays ofkiI~d:-.~
cut back and forth between the images popping up in the living can be noted as a .~
room and some kind of real world out there.
America's Most V01nted airs photos of bank robbers with and
without beards so you can scan the faces at the 7-II for a match.
Mimicking the moves of surveillance technologies, the citizenry
now practices self-discipline on the level of a bodily impulse. Of She and the bab:' §:~~c-
course there are refusals too, and all kinds of ambivalence, hesita- port there are ba:1:·2'
tions, and sidesteps. Practices gathered under the sign of discipline hotel shuttles. It's :::. .:..-:. ~ _
actually have tendrils spreading out to complex and shifting states room, but then a :-~~-==:__-_ :I
of attraction and distraction, pleasure and sadness, belonging and Suites. He says it's ~'-.~-: . ~c.:::

longing. Little half-lived games like scanning the faces at the 7-II sive. It's right dO\\·:-.~=-.=
are not just a matter of festering alienation or a mean-spirited will The place is sc:.:-.~~ ~ .
to bend others to the rule of law. There is also the simple seduc- calm, and next to c.-.~~~'
tion of the game of recognition itself. Or the fascination with the cases stocked wid:. _~:. =- .. ..

moment when something snaps into a frame to become more The suites are hu§::::':':-._ . - .
real, or at least more particular. Excesses of all kinds draw special ately brings up a :~i~:. ~
attention-successes and failure, surges of action, wild trajectories sheets and a bab,.-':-:.:.:-.:~'
that lead somewhere. They go do\\-n c.: c.' ~
There are socialities of the watching. In the convenience store, bar has been set L:- c.:-.:' :. .
there is an aggressively casual, noncommittal noticing-half fur- pizza and talking a:~: :
tive, half bored. If there's a checkout line, it's loose; people mill five-dollar bill. Th::::-.:.~~
= . :. c' ~

around waiting. They buy lottery tickets, cigarettes, junk food, yourself to some pi.:.:.:
and beer. There are those who buy a single giant can of cheap people gathered ar:'-'::'.:.
beer early in the morning. There are those who have a habit of eating together in s:~~~ "I.
two or more trips to the "rip store" a day. There are those who The hotel is 0\',:-. ~ :.
build a routine of going once a day just to get out of the house; everyone, except le·:. c. := ..:!

to have the transaction of buying something; to make brief, light color. It's like a set:': ~ .: _' = -
talk. There are those who only stop in occasionally for a quart of differently. A nene ~~.-'-::. -

.' _ - ~ _:,zraded so we can
~ -~~:-.; up in the living
II, : -:: ~:,bbers with and
~ _- =.-.=--II for a match .
• 1.. - _.: ;:;:5, the citizenry
If . ~ ~ -2il.',' impulse. Of
I :-
':':--.::'inlence, hesita-
B:"'.~ _.- :: - :_-=,ign of discipline
.' - ~ = .:.:-:cd shifting states
.1' ::'-_='S.belonging and
I" . -~=:-.=~acesatthe7-II
lID. - -::. :i-;:an-spirited will
::';: simple seduc-
E '_-: :':'.':::1ation with the
luLl, _.:' = - become more
1£::: - _ .·:.-.:-.ds
draw special
_: :- ":ild trajectories
:: =-.-:eniencestore,
IiJI - - __ :-.:::cing- half fur-
.' , :: se; people mill
. ::::.~=::es,junk food,
• ' ~ : ;.:.::: can of cheap
-.: :'w'e a habit of
I: ~- =:0': are those who
p ;:= : -..::of the house;
1lIl!T' =: :i-:.akebrief, light
, :-.:..>- for a quart of
milk or a newspaper because it's efficient and they're busy holding
things together.
Differences of all kinds are noted automatically. There is irrita-
tion, sometimes amusement, or a hard-boiled, hard-hearted lack of
interest in something someone else is doing. And sometimes there
are displays of kindness-brief, Bickering, half-made gestures that
can be noted as a bright moment in the day, or ignored.
She and the baby get stuck overnight in Atlanta. Outside the air-
port there are banks of phones and a whole parking lot full of
hotel shuttles. It's cold and gray. She starts randomly calling for a
room, but then a nice shuttle driver gets them one at the Ameri-
Suites. He says it's the best place in town, anyway, and not expen-
sive. It's right down the street.
The place is strangely gracious and homey. The clerks are very
calm, and next to the front desk there are freezer and refrigerated
cases stocked with ordinary frozen dinners, ice cream, and fruit.
The suites are huge and they have full kitchens. A man immedi-
ately brings up a crib for the baby and sets it up, complete with
sheets and a baby blanket. (This never happens in hotels.)
They go down to the lobby to roam around. An impromptu
bar has been set up and people are sitting here and there, eating
pizza and talking across tables. She asks for a beer and holds out a
five-dollar bill. The bartender says "What's that for? It's free. Help
yourself to some pizza." In the morning the same room is full of
people gathered around a full complementary breakfast buffet,
eating together in sleepy intimacy.
The hotel is owned and staffed by African Americans, and
everyone, except for a few stragglers like herself, is a person of
color. It's like a scene of unexpected hope. A way of doing things
differently. A nerve relaxed. A sense of learning. Because for once
the white people are not in charge of some kind of sensory alarm killing neighborhooc :~~ ~ .. :
system. The grass grows to _I I::· tc
trailer in the from ',·"T':' ~ -. .:
and starts ramming ~: ~:,: .. =:
they're evicted. The :~=--=-- =

Power is a thing of the senses. It lives as a capacity, or a yearning,

or a festering resentment. It can be sensualized in night rages.
It can begin as a secret kept or as a gesture glimpsed in a hall-
way. Down the street thc:~: ~' c~

It can be leaked or harvested for future reference. He's in his forties \"+.~=-.
,.:
It can spread like wildflower seeds randomly tossed on a sub- house next to her t~ic:=-.':'-~=-.-:1ii
urban lawn. lived before that.
We do things with power, and to it. There are palpable pleasures At first, he and _~~::' .

and acid stomachs in questioning it, spying on it, digging it up, and talking about :".': _ _ _
calling it out, evading it, ingratiating oneself to it, sacrificing one- goes out to get his e-'---. .
self on its altar, putting something over on it, or somehow coming pointedly and snee:', .. ::
to rest outside its whirlpool even for a minute. talk to Andrew at
Sometimes \"her. 'T.: :".'
guy out in his fron=·~:.:.
raged if someone cr>,,: :
foul language at the =::: =: .
The young woman who lives next door starts to pour a gallon jug says he's never hea=- ~---=--. -.::
of Round-Up around a tree in her front yard so she can plant a The guy becoIT,c:' -
decorative lawn cover there. Danny runs over to tell the woman attic. He starts talL::.:: ~ =

she'll kill the trees and poison everything with that stuff. He says the niceties of tra J:--'r
n ~: -:' : - -.
--:- ~,-
it's really just Agent Orange in an over-the-counter jug. He says Andrew comes haec: ~-: .::-_
he doesn't think the woman's all there. A year or two later, she dies shocked. All he sa',', :' -
in a car accident. Her husband is screaming and smashing walls in his attic again, at-:c::::: = - ..

in the house. Hordes of men move in with him. They hang out just lost it. He got a ,,:--. =~:- _,.. _. :
on the front porch, drinking beer and heckling women walking ceiling. Blood and ~:...=':....'
by on the street. They get puppies and then neglect them. So the white carpet.
puppies howl all day in the backyard or escape and run around Now he's standins: .=-.=__ .:
~. '~:-.::'
.~.
r sensory alarm killing neighborhood cats. The men start to fight with each other.
The grass grows to four feet tall and they park a large boat on a
trailer in the front yard. One day one of them gets in his truck
and starts ramming all the other trucks parked over there. Finally,
they're evicted. The landlord calls them hippies .

• ,:':: _ ' ,~:: ::.:~-.:c,'. or a yearning,

• ._::.~::. .:-:night rages.
~.;j • _ '_=~ ~:~:npsedin a hall-
Down the street there's a Vietnam vet with a temper problem.
He's in his forties when he marries the woman who owns the tiny
house next to her friend Andrew's place. No one knows where he
lived before that.
-': ' =::.:: ?alpable pleasures At first, he and Andrew get along well as men borrowing tools
'':: :~. it. digging it up, and talking about lawns and fences. But then one day Andrew
: : ::.:~:.sacrificing one- goes out to get his mail wearing a sarong and the guy stares at him
, ' :::.somehow coming pointedly and sneers, "Nice SKIRT." Mter that he doesn't want to
talk to Andrew at all, or even look at him.
Sometimes when she drives by on her way home she sees the
guy out in his front yard yelling at cars. Andrew says he gets en-
raged if someone drives by too fast or something, and he spews
foul language at the top of his lungs for a full ten minutes. Andrew
II c.:-:: ::'.Jpour a gallon jug says he's never heard anything like it-not even close.
~. so she can plant a
::c.: ~ The guy becomes obsessed with raccoons getting into his
~i "':::: to tell the woman attic. He starts talking to Andrew again in order to discuss all
~-:"",:: .::.:-:
that stuff. He says the niceties of trapping and killing raccoons. Then one day when
•• ,::<Junter jug. He says Andrew comes home the guy is standing in his yard looking shell-
1

1Ihe:"'" ' =::c.:.x tWOlater, she dies shocked. All he says is "Oh! It's bad! It's bad!" He heard the coons
.i'.,=,:~=_.:-.'::md smashing walls in his attic again, after months of coon-proofing strategies, and he

"ii' "".. iim. They hang out

i.:. " :::c::'::ngwomen walking
lIB: ::. "".:::-. :1eglectthem. So the
kT::' : ::<ape and run around
just lost it. He got a shotgun and shot big holes in the living room
ceiling. Blood and guts dropped out and fell onto his wife's new
white carpet.
Now he's standing in the yard, covered with blood, panicked.
 stant clash of people: _:- -; _= ;
consuming dream 0=' =,Z,-,. _ J
To say that a thi:'§:_~:~ . :::':]
say that it's like a b2.~ :::c:..,
- ,~
can talk people ou= :::=-:. - -:
Agency can be strange, twisted, caught up in things, passive, or holds things toged'.:::". :: --::.J
exhausted. Not the way we like to think about it. Not usually a beliefs, networks, :e:~.:-: ~
simple projection toward a future. and events.
It's what we mean by "having a life" (as in "get a life"). But It can take mane,'
it's caught up in things. Circuits, bodies, moves, connections. It lute rage, a habit 0=' o~,:-::
takes unpredictable and counterintuitive forms. It's lived through will, a body in a s=:=~
a series of dilemmas: that action is always a reaction; that the thrashing around 2.=-:- _ - . -_I
potential to act always includes the potential to be acted on, or to road rage, or parer.=, ","__= ::. __1:
submit; that the move to gather a self to act is also a move to lose children, or drug a::C:.:= ',:J
the self; that one choice precludes others; that actions can have spiral out of it. Ther::'.:- c

unintended and disastrous consequences; and that all agency is it plays itself Out, .~ :,==~ ::::
frustrated and unstable and attracted to the potential in things. dreams popping up~, . __. _
It's not really about willpower but rather something much more in workplaces ane ::-.=.r='::': .•
complicated and much more rooted in things. her children to sa',:: =~~:- .- -
Junta-the "hockc:' ::::: -
the ice. Or Juma's: r ::=,",
~:: _-:::
and battery with a 'C-d ;:: _ ::
at a Best Buy emplc:'c~
Redemption: The recovery of something pawned or mortgaged. A receipt.
second chance born of suffering and still resonant with loss.
The dream of redemptive violence has become the ready matter
of commonplace dreams. Dramas of a clarifYing surge of action
saturate ordinary life, macho movies, laws, publics, institutions,
and diffuse, existential dilemmas of personhood and power. Something huge aIl~ .:- ~~.
Mythic heroes sacrifice themselves to rebirth the world. Tight mysteriously intimc.-::::- ~~.=.~__i~~

little circles of religion wrap themselves in apocalyptic dreams. concrete, it's both 2. :>=.:-"- -,
The nation-state gets tough on crime on behalf of family values. claustrophobicall:~-=~;= ~:: ~~: -
The death penalty comes to stand for the execution of evil itself, stuck in a customer ,~:- ,::: --
one individual at a time. And everyday life is hot with the con- to get to the bottoD ::='::,-. .

~.:-_::,gs, passive, or
-~. -:\ot usually a
~~: a life"). But
~'. ;:onnections. It
=~'5 liyed through
_ -:c:-'.;:,ion;that the
~ ~ - T';" a;:ted on, or to
~; :'2. move to lose
~_-_.:.
~ -'.;:,ionscan have
- :. ~_-_2.t all agency is
- - = :: : ~c:=-_:ial in things.
- --- - ~-:...
-
---
in a much more
;:,
__ _ _ ::_~::.J:: mortgaged. A
: =-_~: \yith loss.
:-_":~e ready matter
.:.:~=-_~surge of action
:: --,-"=, L;:s, institutions,
-::': : =-__ _:.ood and power.
-:'-: :~_ The world. Tight
- ':'?~Kal:rpticdreams.
- : ~ ::_2.::- of family values.
-_- = ~:" :-,,:ion of evil itself,
: _' hot with the con-
stant clash of people butting up against each other followed by the
consuming dream of righteous revenge.
To say that a thing like redemptive violence is a myth is not to
say that it's like a bad dream you can wake up from or an idea you
can talk people out of. It's more like a strand in the netting that
holds things together. A conduit for bits and pieces of political
beliefs, networks, technologies, affinities, dreamed-of possibilities
and events.
It can take many forms. It can be a mean pettiness, a disso-
lute rage, a habit of self-destruction, an overcharged and swollen
will, a body in a state of alarm. It can be a derailed sensibility
thrashing around at full throttle. Or something really small. It's
road rage, or parents whipped into violent deeds to protect their
children, or drug addicts slashing at the American dream as they
spiral out of it. There's always something a little "off" in the way
it plays itself out. A little sad. It's the teenagers who kill, the pipe
dreams popping up all over the place, the smoldering resentments
in workplaces and intimate spaces. It's Andrea Yates drowning
her children to save them from eternal damnation. Or Thomas
Junta-the "hockey dad" -killing his son's coach in a fight on
the ice. Or Junta's brother, arrested shortly thereafter for assault
and battery with a dangerous weapon when he threw a cell phone
at a Best Buy employee who wouldn't let him return it without a
receipt.
Something huge and impersonal runs through things, but it's also
mysteriously intimate and close at hand. At once abstract and
concrete, it's both a distant, untouchable order of things and a
claustrophobically close presence, like the experience of getting
stuck in a customer service information loop every time you try
to get to the bottom of things.
 It's as if a net has grown around a mutating gelatinous sub- an act of vengeance 2~-'--:- .. ,
stance. emerge on the parai.::. ~:..;~
It's also as if the net is full of holes, so that little pieces or whole into place: the h:Te::- .; ..~"
blobs of things are always falling out of it and starting up some bottomless rage agai,,-,: :" .
new thing on their own. signs of what "the::' "-:~ _: .
It harbors fantasies and fears. action as a spectacle: ~ : - :,. ...0
It spawns trajectories. But there's more :: .: :.'~: -
It sets up a quick relay between things. theory. An intima:e ~::-.:'
It induces both rage and the softly positive sense of being activities, and little:: ..c., ..
connected and so somehow safe (or not, but at least "in it "they" are doing. __ ,
together") . tices, the indeterm::-.c.:~::. ::-
There's a promise of losing oneself in the flow of things. But panics, the dream :: : : ? : .:;
the promise jumps in a quick relay to the sobering threats of big kind of final truth (': ': .
business, global warming, the big-box corporate landscape, the what this is all abo..::
master-planned community, the daily structural violence of in- Conspiracy the:::- :-.J

equalities of all kinds, the lost potentials, the lives not lived, the routes, articulating 2 --.:'::: ':.:.;I
hopes still quietly harbored or suddenly whipped into a frenzy. by an all-pervasi\';::,'::-:.::::.' -~. 1
Either that, or the promise of losing yourself in the flow be- that be are funcrio:-.-,--,.:::.
comes a dull, empty drifting that you can't get yourself out of is structural, and t:-.2:: :
intentional, and o:=:--:--=-_ -~ - -
always already m::,:;:::..: -
a reversal or a retL::-. 2' .•': . :e.
around or some::,-::-.:::
Investigative reports, talk shows, TV series, movies, novels, and
textbooks present a diffuse, sometimes panicked, sense of struggle
against unknown forces-a deep worry that normality isn't nor-
mal anymore, that somebody has done something to the way
things used to be, that we have lost something, that we have been She's flying back :'-,::-::.': 'c::-~a
changed. Near the end of tr.:c=-=-.z." -..- = :1
Conspiracy theory follows power's secret moves through the heavy rain in the H: _: _ =,,,-
telltale signs inscribed on banal surfaces. It takes the vaguely lived has flooded (there' "-~..~ ._
sense that something isn't quite right and then snaps it into a the airport. Her -;:2:-.:::
puzzle form, a search for underlying causes. It dreams of a return By the time the:'
to a pristine past and the redemption of a human agency born in But then by the ti:-::~:'. -C-.J

~c-c~
~c_-:-dcpieces or whole
c c ':""-c:'
srarting up some
~:cc sense of being
='-J.rat least "in it
- ~c:-:='ow of things. But
- :::-;:ring threats of big
c: -::-: ::-dlelandscape, the
~~.
_:~-_rJ violence of in-
~-c:-~i';esnot lived, the
. ::-?cdinto a frenzy.
.
: _..-,elfin the flow be-
- ~ :::-~-,'ourselfout of.
rrlovies, novels, and
- ~ .. ::~;:d,sense of struggle
,- ~..-'-~rlormality isn't nor-
:...-:'.ethingto the way
- ::~c-c. .,=. that we have been
_i::'.- moves through the
:-:::-~
.r:,__ :: ~i.--;.cs
the vaguely lived
~_.:.~ien snaps it into a
liB' -< I~dreams of a return
p' • . ~.:-
..:.managency born in
an act of vengeance against the actual state of things. Extremists
emerge on the paranoid edge. A profile of the loner/loser snaps
into place: the hypervigilant over-the-edge look in his eye; the
bottomless rage against the system; the obsessive compilation of
signs of what "they" are up to; the guy free-falling into violent
action as a spectacle of some kind of crisis of agency.
But there's more to it than this. There's pleasure in conspiracy
theory. An intimate knowledge of secret collusions, clandestine
activities, and little collaborative worlds of an "us" tracking what
"they" are doing. There are the small, inventive interpretive prac-
tices, the indeterminate trajectories of where things might go, the
panics, the dream of popping up into the limelight with some
kind of final truth or something, the moment of the "Ah ha! That's
what this is all about!"
Conspiracy theory travels through divergent and conflicting
routes, articulating a widely shared sensibility of being controlled
by an all-pervasive something. It takes for granted that the powers
that be are functionaries of the opposing camp; that the problem
is structural, and that social structures are mysterious, motivated,
intentional, and often malevolent. It nods to an ordinary that is
always already mixed up in all of this, and yet it also beckons to
a reversal or a return as if a sudden magical jolt could turn things
around or something.
She's flying back from Guatemala en route to Austin via Houston.
Near the end of the flight the pilot announces that there has been
heavy rain in the Houston area. The new air traffic control tower
has flooded (there's a flaw in the design), and they have shut down
the airport. Her plane is short on fuel, so it's diverted to Austin.
By the time they land thirty minutes later, Houston has reopened.
But then by the time they refuel Houston has shut down again.
The pilot announces that there is no plan. No one can get off the tise gain purchase ie c.'.~ ::~, ,.
plane since there is no immigration office in Austin. They wait on erate in the very dFo::-,,:
the runway for nine hours. They run out of water and toilet paper. She's in Las Vega'. ~:
One man in a wheelchair has to be taken off the plane. partment of Energ:.- ::.._
They fly back to Houston, but they have just missed the last pository in the desc': ::-:.,.
plane back to Austin. They're given vouchers for a discount on a ings. The format is 21''-':-' '.' c
hotel and are assigned to flights in the morning. It's 2 AM when say that science cae :-,':'::-.::"'::
:.,::
they get checked in at the hotel and set off on foot across an urban only incites reactio:1. =-:::::: ,:: C..L...
expanse of highways to find an all-night diner. scenarios of what cce.:..::. ' ':::1
The next morning at 6, the lines stretch hundreds of yards out- country from a hLL'::':::::' '
side the terminal. Inside, three lines snake around the lobby fill- gency cleanup cre\,'s "
ing every inch of it with bodies pressed together. Sometimes the spill. Or they come '_? "
lines cross or merge but no one knows which one is best, or which could do with the sc.:.:=:: '
one they are supposed to be in, or where the lines are going. She ocean floor.
endures along with the rest of the passengers. Occasionally an air- Sometimes the D::::' ,. ',--
line employee dressed in red moves through the crowd, drawing the opposite of whc.: ':.::' :: "-='
frantic questions. But the employees don't know anything. The geology is not a prec:c':.'~ . =:
monitors are dead. At IO she makes it to a ticket counter and is happen to plutonic:...-c.:_--c_
told that her 9 o'clock flight has long been canceled. The agent years.
says she can book her on a flight the next afternoon. She says no One day at a he.:..c::::.;-- ."
way. Somehow she gets on standby on a flight that might leave in waste transportation c.:..: .': .
four hours. themselves. Thev
Inside the terminal, the working monitors show all flights as very systematic-Iook:::-.=
"delayed." Hers doesn't show up at all. She wanders around until irrational public fec.c-. =.- c
she finds a gate with a mob of people trying to get to Austin. feet high with barrels: " .-._ ~ ::__ ,'
Later, she gets on a flight. The next morning the news reports entrance to a Ke\y ",:: = - -.
that Houston airport is back to normal, and we try to forget, as if hanging over their :e.:.:::,: .:..':::
nothing happened. Just move on. a bridge clearance s;;:::, :.c.~'
has fallen off the cc:.c:: ::""::'
tunnel. It's the mor:-.~:::.:
"Go for id" The DOE -.:-'
technology to circu.-:::·::.'.-
There are uncertainties (to say the least) in the links between control systems. Ar c':::.~::
human action and complex systems. Notions of truth and exper- his hand on the nud::.:..':' ::...-:::.;
j;]n ' ~ :Jne
can get off the tise gain purchase in the gap, but sketchy connections also prolif-
mr - _~_.~_;.:.s,in.
They wait on erate in the very effort to solidifYsome kind of order.
mur _ - : :"'.o:er and toilet paper. She's in Las Vegas, following the conflict over whether the De-
Ill:: - - : -::: : e plane. partment of Energy (DOE) will build a national nuclear waste re-
1I[- .oe.1S' missed the last
. pository in the desert north of the city. There are regular hear-
eI _--e:' Tora discount on a ings. The format is always the same. Experts deployed by the DOE
!i1I'1 - : :- __ng. It's 2 AM when say that science can handle the nuclear waste. But this statement
Ii[ . ~ : :_:-ootacross an urban only incites reaction. People call them liars and then offer detailed
scenarios of what could happen to nuclear waste trucked cross-
I: .1.-:.dreds
_:- _-_ of yards out- country from a hundred sites on back roads where local emer-
D::: ~:e .o:'Jund the lobby fill- gency cleanup crews won't have a clue what to do with a nuclear
.: .::e:l-cer.
-=- Sometimes the spill. Or they come up with bright ideas about what else the DOE
liT','" - ::_ ,Jne is best, or which could do with the stuff, like shoot it to the moon or bury it in the
IF _ -" : e ~inesare going. She ocean floor.
:-_;e:,. Occasionally an air- Sometimes the DOE scientists, put on the spot, end up saying
1Ir: -- - . _;.- Thecrowd, drawing the opposite of what they've been brought there to say. They say
lilII'i:" -=- :._: ~-:-,owanything. The geology is not a predictive science; there's no saying what might
i1ic - -. ::cket counter and is
-=- happen to plutonium buried underground for ten thousand
I::: : ee._ canceled. The agent years.
_::=:ernoon. She says no One day at a hearing in a casino, the DOE displays a nuclear
~ _ =-_;:c: rhat might leave in waste transportation cask so that people can see it and touch it for
themselves. They show charts of the DOE chain of command (it's
.'::: - .• :.:s show all flights as very systematic-looking). Then they show cartoons that parody
1Il1:_ :-_ e --anders around until irrational public fears. One is of a pickup truck piled fourteen-
• :: ::--::1g to get to Austin. feet high with barrels of nuclear waste. The truck is stopped at the
.e:- -: .:__ ng the news reports entrance to a New York City tunnel. Workers with beer bellies
IIJ,- -=-=-_-=- '.\-etry to forget, as if hanging over their jeans are standing around in traffic looking at
a bridge clearance sign that says "eleven feet." One of the barrels
has fallen off the truck and is rolling down the ramp into the
tunnel. It's the moment of decision. One of the men is saying,
"Go for it!" The DOE says their system is not like this. They have
technology to circumvent the human factor. They have quality
I1II 0. _ _=: :n the links between control systems. At one point the DOE general manager places
III -: ._.,_5 of truth and exper- his hand on the nuclear waste cask for a full minute to show that
a body doesn't blow up on contact with nuclear waste (of course
the cask he has his hand on is empty). Then he invites the public
to the parking lot outside to see the cask that has just made the
first dry run across the country in an eighteen-wheeler. They go
inside the trailer to touch the cask and listen to the loud hum of
its "containment systems." It has a lot of flashing lights. The 0rdinary is a IT.:'. __~ :~-~
Then she goes up and talks to the truck driver sitting in the cab. sense of, but a set or 'e: __.: ~- -
He's wearing a cut-off Harley Davidson T-shirt and he has several The possibility tb: ': :-:-::'~:
earrings in one ear. He wants to talk about his high-level security untapped.
clearance-a G clearance, which is better even than a C clearance. We struggle to rr::':e: :
She asks him about the computer keyboard sitting on the passen- boards on the side 0:' : ...:: : .
ger seat. He tells her a story. As he was driving away from the ori- We track it thro'J~:-. :::. -
gin point in New Jersey, they told him to log in every fifteen min- versa!, or flight.
utes so they'd know where he was at all times. He had never used We signal its force ::-.'. _
a computer before, so he responded as if it were a joke: "Yeahsure, drifting, running in :<':'~e:
I'll call you when I get there." But the keyboard turned out to be It can be traced iL C:.· -=-.' -
easy to use-nothing to it. Except that the first time he logged built environments.
on, the people reading the satellite that was tracking him sent an Or in the direct ccc::-' .
urgent message asking if he had been rerouted. When he punched Or in the way th2.: :__ .e: ::. _
in that this was the route he'd been given, he received an alert that Or you can find :: .__ . .:.--.:"_
he was on the wrong route, which was accompanied by a second the stress registered ir. __
.::::: - _,
urgent request that he specifYif he had been rerouted. So he shut spring up like blades::' ;:-'-:
off the computer because ifhe'd had real nuclear material onboard dreamy surges.
he certainly wasn't going to listen to these people. Anybody could The ordinary mOYe' .__ . -
have gotten control of the satellite-terrorists or nuts. There were faire attitudes with tl'.e .:.:::"-.':,
terrorists out there who'd love to get their hands on this stuff. race and class. Or in :~.::__:.." ,
He ended up driving cross-country with no system tracking is given in the game 0:' ::::~:

his location, following the route he'd been given by his dispatcher. choices now.
For three days he was off the grid and they had no idea where he
was. Or at least that was his story. And she was happier ending her
own day's story there rather than inside with the DOE'S claim to
the banality of business as usual.
The American dream c: :-:-.:
There are only "WiLc.e:: ~ _
 ~~~=-_-...:.clear
waste (of course
~r:- -=-:-~::l he invites the public
~. :'--:~::har has just made the
[ ~~ ::_~.-:.:een-wheeler.They go
: ~- :- ~;:eE IO the loud hum of
- _:.==_,--,iing
lights. The ordinary is a moving target. Not first something to make
It:~- _ ::: :-::,,-ersitting in the cab. sense of, but a set of sensations that incite.
!!l.:- _ - -=-·:~-:.:nand he has several The possibility that something will snap into sense or drift by
: _: ~-:.:s high-level security untapped.
,:-:~::: ::-~E rhan a C clearance. We struggle to trace it with big stories thrown up like bill-
-.: ~:- ,:ning on the passen- boards on the side of the road.
~_:-.:=-.~ away from the ori- We track it through projects and lines of progress, failure, re-
:: .:;:n every fifteen min- versal, or flight.
.•[ _. :~:'--_::', He had never used We signal its force through dull routine and trouble, through
III ~-_: -"~:e a joke: "Yeah sure, drifting, running in place, and downtime.
E -": :: -: : ~d turned out to be It can be traced in conditions like speedup and the banality of
pr -.~:=.:..-.::irsI time he logged built environments.
£: c.' :.-acking him sent an Or in the direct commodification of the senses.
m:;::r _ ::::" \\nen he punched Or in the way that the consumer is now the citizen.
II - __ .:: .-eceived an alert that Or you can find it in all the drugs, or the prison buildup, or
I ::::.--.?aniedby a second the stress registered in neck muscles, or in the little lifeworlds that
I: .-erouted.
• ::::.--_ So he shut spring up like blades of grass around the body's compulsions and
_ -:_ - _:.::.::I material onboard dreamy surges.
::~::•? le. Anybody could The ordinary moves in the articulations of who cares / laissez-
11::- '.::' .Jr nuts. There were faire attitudes with the apartheidesque hardenings of the lines of
- .. _.--_,--=-_::
on this stuff. race and class. Or in the harsh responsibilities that the individual
IIWJI...-:---. ::10 system tracking is given in the game of becoming a winner or a loser. The only two
iI:"~ .::' ;.'::=-.by his dispatcher. choices now.
. c.: no idea where he
'--'iappier ending her
-:=-_ :he DOE'S claim to

The American dream comes into a sharp-edged focus.

There are only winners and losers now.
 Dream meets nightmare in the flick of an eye. vacation to liven L::- ~
Haunted sensibilities track unwanted influences and veiled the busy work of c·: =-~:-'---_ -"~
threats in idioms of addiction, dead ends, and conspiracy, while a starting point.
dreams of transcendence and recluse set afloat reckless hopes of There's the dre",---:~~
:: :~~:_,:.J
winning or escape. Or the dream 0:' ~:':-:-::.-= ::!
Anxiety ranges without object. But so does the sense of poten-
tial.
We lurch between ups and downs as overwrought dreams flop
to earth, only to rise up again, inexplicably revitalized, like the
monster in a horror movie or the fool who keeps coming back for The ordinary is a 2.::=:.=-;-:-::.""
more. something to pop ' ::=-
Lines of flight are fascinating too: the rocketing fortunes of the An experimem. S: =-=- __=,=
:':::.:
rich and famous, the dream of a perfect getaway cottage, or the sight.
modest success stories of people getting their lives together again. Carrie is a self·s:-~.:,:.:
Free-floating affects lodge in the surface tensions of low-level black hair belo\\~ b::: ~,~ •.
stress, loneliness, dread, yearning, a sense of innocence, backed up not quite making "'=-
. .:: =-=-
:':-='- -

anger, the ins and outs of love. a free in-house per-'.=-=-=-;

from house-sit to ~.: _:':- -
friends.
She's both reeL",,,
ness with the precis:: =-.
Some sink; others claim they can rise above the flow, walk on she risked evernh:.:-.~ : =-.:
water. and stranded her tl-."'::': -
Some wear their irony like a badge. learned she had a :~",=-.: :.: =LJ
There's pleasure in a clever or funny image, or in being able to playing cards to bL~~=-.:'::-
see right through things. dollars left over to ::-'-
C'~-
~-, - -- -,.-,-~ - _...
.•

Or in holing up to watch your favorite bad TV show, or spin- Now she takes OL::c: :.:-:~ -
~
ning classes at the gym, or singing along to loud music in the casino on the borde:. -=-.-::: '--
car. the casino and imc", -=--:::: ..~
Or the drugs of all kinds. the time isn't righr. ': - i..J

There's the grim pleasure of a meal at a shelter, or a free bus ride part of a James BO:1~ =-=- -]
because it's an ozone action day, or a whole box of donuts in the back to check the c.=.: __
._=-= .:J
dumpster, or a place to sleep on a church floor because it's freezing with the woman aT ,~.:': =- .~
tonight. But these, of course, are not the same as a little sensory bar, drifts by the mc.:- - - _'-__ 0

-~_~':'~Qces and veiled
'--~.~:onspiracy, while
:-::= : '--: reckless hopes of
vacation to liven up your day. More like forced treading water-
the busy work of constantly repeating the unsupported search for
a starting point.
There's the dream of checking out for good.
Or the dream of getting something for nothing.

III: ~ =:-:C-::Jught dreams flop

iIII=::' __~:. . -::',·italized, like the
Ill", . ,:==="coming back for The ordinary is a drifting immersion that watches and waits for
something to pop up.
•• --, .: = ..::::ing fortunes of the An experiment. Something worth trying that's hiding in plain
... ~=:-'.."Q:'cottage, or the sight.
F:L':: :.::=.::i-,estogether again. Carrie is a self-styled witch and gypsy. Four feet ten with jet-
II: :-".:.:=:::Dsions of
__ low-level black hair below her waist, she does clerical work at a university,
Ijll : :.. -.:lOcence,backed up not quite making ends meet. To get out of paying rent, she runs
a free in-house pet-sitting service for traveling faculty. She moves
from house-sit to house-sit. In the down times she stays with
friends.
She's both reckless and hyperorganized. She runs her busi-
ness with the precision of a corporate middle manager, but once
she risked everything on a love affair that took her to Australia
and stranded her there when things went badly. In Australia, she
learned she had a talent for gambling. She made enough money
playing cards to buy her ticket home and have a few thousand
dollars left over to get situated back in the states.
•. -:= :,;.d TV show, or spin- Now she takes quick trips to Nevada, stopping at the first cheap
~ :_':::J loud music in the casino on the border. There are always stories ... She walks into
the casino and immediately spots a machine with an aura. But
the time isn't right, so she waits it out. She checks in, watches
1IIIl:::~ L - .=::er,or a free bus ride
.:. ' __ part of a James Bond movie on TV in her room, and then goes
____
:.= box of donuts in the back to check the machine. The time is almost right. She chats
:Jr because it's freezing
:-. =-
L-::I~: with the woman at the next machine, listens to the band in the
~] .. - = '-'-''TIeas a little sensory bar, drifts by the machine again, watches another TV show, and
finally returns to the machine. It's after midnight. She sits down There's the ston', fc~.=-.
at the machine and concentrates. The woman at the next machine who thwacked off r":' :
(who is still there) stands behind her to cheer her on. She plays a every time he was si.:~::: . ::'...i:

couple of dollar slots and hits the jackpot. She gives the neighbor finger left and could=-.~.. :
a cut because she figures her cheering helped and it's good karma snake" outside Aus,:=-.
anyway. Later that night, she returns to the same machine and it ing he slipped on a bc....-'--..c -::1
pays off again. tally shot himself i~ ~.-.~ :: ..
Carrie says it's hard to explain how she knows when a machine was drinking hard. T.-.",:~:
is right; it's just a feeling. Some machines are just for fun, some cowboy who injures :-'--".:' -
are serious, but they all hold some promise of a payoff. Her tal- loses a toe or cu,s a,. -'-~~~ - ..
ent for spotting the promise in a machine lends substance to the just puts on his boo~ c....-.::. .::.:""
dream of beating the odds, and it turns the vague but compelling By the time he geLS~: -""::1
hope of "coming out a winner" into the sensory practice of keep- blood is pouring oc:~'.'~'::' .
ing her eyes on the prize through the din and the Bashing lights. These stories ,ak", ~.-.~ _. c

Her gambling is not just the residue or symptom of distantly de- at work to an end ::: .=-.:.
termining forces but an actual instance of affective and material away with things. ==-- :..- ~ - ..
emergence-a singularity that literally catches her attention and of agency and trieL .--.::.
holds it long enough for her to do something with it. parts become aClL~ .:: .:'_-= ::.JI

modest cash pa:"me,.~' .=- c ~ " -

They say La\yre:-:.:~

capital of the s,a~e.-_'- .
grandmother who '.'. .:.' :
One day, when she's living in a trailer park in Las Vegas, she meets in a deliberate hec.:'-: =-. -". ",:::1

a young man in the community hot tub. He's just moved from drivers were char:;e:' .
the Midwest. He can stay here with family for a little while, but and then steer ,her:::~: :..-:
he's already found a job humping tires for minimum wage. He the personal injuf': ~"'?. ~
shows her a missing finger lost at work the first week on the job. The effort to ge~.:' .:.:.'
He talks about it as if it were like losing a fingernail or something. dent, especially \,-r.C'" ? ~: ~
Something to be expected from a young man's work.
This reminds her of stories about people who injure themselves
for cash. Stories that turn a routine desperation into an odd mo-
ment fueled by a character, Stories that add a weird form of agency
or life (or something) to the hard core of desperation, adding up There are bodies O'..:~ • .- .:
to something like desperation plus. There are plen r: . :~. ~~:..
 _-C' .:..:-.:;ht.She sits down
::-::-
..
the next machine
.•..•...-'.:-.3.,
r- ==~ier on. She plays a
. ~ :-.C giYesthe neighbor
e:rr .. C r == ,,--,-'1d it's good karma
H."'""'. . -.-. = '-'.rne machine and it
,_...-
.• ',':' when a machine
m~". ~= JUSt for fun, some
- cowboy who injures himself in an accident out on the range. He
lit ~ = .::,'a payoff. Her tal-
. IL., __ .==" .=:-.2,substance to the
"""" .:..;uebut compelling
lB" . ,::.-.:. rc: practice of keep-
~'II: .:..:-~.2 ::,heflashing lights.
1tI;: ·'~·.:-::'Jm of distantly de-
.::,.c.: ::,. ,,--,-"::-'cctiye
and material
1:::.--'. .c-r.-.=' her attention and
III . :-.: ,,'.·ithit.
.:-. ::"25 Vegas, she meets
- :-:.c:,just moved from
.. ~'::,
r a little while, but
-. ~ ::-::-.inimum wage. He
-- " '=~,tweek on the job.
'=:-;c:rnailor something.
iii" _.::'.~ .-".-'.:-.', work.
- .:-:0 injure themselves
1II':r _ .. ::'''::'-'.::':In
into an odd mo-
. ::'::'-'.":eird form of agency
::'==,?eration, adding up
There's the story, for instance, of the old miner in West Virginia
who thwacked off his own fingers for workman's compensation
every time he was sick or needed money until he only had one
finger left and couldn't work at all anymore. Or there's the "lake
snake" outside Austin who collected insurance money by claim-
ing he slipped on a banana in the supermarket. Later, he acciden-
tally shot himself in the leg, becoming completely disabled. He
was drinking hard. There's a story genre in cowboy poetry about a
loses a toe or cuts an artery in his leg. There's lots of blood, but he
just puts on his boot and drives himself a long distance into town .
By the time he gets to the hospital he's barely conscious and the
blood is pouring out of the top of his boot.
These stories take the trajectory of expected or accepted injury
at work to an end point outside ordinary rationales. They run
away with things. In them, anything's possible and weird forms
of agency and tricky moves become real in twisted bodies. Body
parts become actual commodities that can be converted into
modest cash payments in a pinch.
They say Lawrence, Massachusetts, is the insurance fraud
capital of the state. An insurance fraud was uncovered when a
grandmother who was sitting in the back seat of a car was killed
in a deliberate head-on high-speed crash with another car. Both
drivers were charged with fraud. Runners would find the drivers
and then steer them to the lawyers and doctors who would fill out
the personal injury reports for a cut.
The effort to get by can quickly become a self-defeating acci-
dent, especially when people are pushing it (but not only then).
There are bodies out of place.
There are plenty of people in free fall.
 There are people whose American dreaming is literally a dream-
ing cut off from any actual potential. But that doesn't stop it-far
from it.
This situation isn't exactly functional but it's not necessarily
"bad" either. Though it can be.
She hears a ston- o~'~ ~
barely twenty, haH' :C":.- - '~~
try to get work be ~:-:'
driver's license or ~~=.:-=-
She remembers a night in West Virginia. A group of striking down, their tweke:': ..~ .

miners sits waiting to see the doctor in the poor people's health all day at the food ~-=:-~-_~ -- _'_
clinic. Their bodies are huddled together, their eyes are focused that one day the,d! ~:
on the dark looming hills outside, they talk in a slow, intimate thing and shoot tt.e ~.=:- ~. >::
rhythm of story and ruminative pause. It's the end of a long con· always talking aboL~ :-:'.c..::".-=- '~~
tract strike and it's suddenly clear that the strike will fail spectacu- cially if they eyer r~:-.I'-=-
larly. Everyone is saying that the union is dead, that the mines world was coming C~ ' : :-:',. ~:_ r~
are closing down for good this time, that the miners have been would, and it's as it'::. :='::.'
reduced to "company sucks." You can feel the mantra of stunned streets and into the :.:-:I,: :":' '
defeat settle on the room. Heavy talk gives way to even weightier kind of real ending~:.: ':
pauses filled only with the shallow, suffocating breathing of men Bur these tvm ',":.I'.:: ~. d
with black lung disease. easy·desperate plar: ~: ..:': .
Then Johnny Cadle starts in on an elaborate fantasy. Someday and tried to rob a cC.·::I'.: - .: '::1
they will scale the big brick walls of Governor Rockefeller's man- caught them before ~'.: ::' . - :
sion and loot it for all it's worth. The others draw their focus to the no money, no paro.e, .:-.:' :-,'-'
story. Power grows palpable in the image of high brick walls that their heads. That's .:::,:-,.
can be breached by a potent, collective, working-class masculinity,
and then broken up, as if tactile, and dispersed like loot.
The story lurches up and passes in an odd moment. It works
not as a representation of a real possibility or a model for action,
but instead as a live event-a fleeting conduit between the lived
and the potential hidden in it (or hidden from it). Potentiality
resonates in its scene. It's an experiment compelled by the drag
of affect in the room, and when it's over the men just sit calmly WHEATON, ILL. -.~_ .-:-

together, as if something has happened. prison for killing ~.:' :::: ': ." _
"It: :..-' ::~--:._.~.~ is literally a dream-
r.:;:L ~ _~ ~-.-'.~ doesn't stop it-far

She hears a story of a botched robbery. Two young street guys,

barely twenty, have been on their own now for some time. They
try to get work but they have no car, no ID. They try to get a
driver's license or food stamps, but their borrowed car breaks
_
.-\ group of striking down, their twelve dollars gets stolen, and they can't stand to sit
i::' ?oor people's health
. ~-.:: all day at the food stamp office getting jerked around. They brag
~~.cireyes are focused
;:l[.:':::~_~::~ that one day they'll go out in a blaze. They'll rob a bank or some-
Ie. .':0 ~-=-~~in a slow, intimate thing and shoot the rich people. The older guys on the street are
'. ~.-_:: end of a long con- always talking about making their big exit in a violent flash, espe-
. ~'.:::~~:kewill fail spectacu- cially if they ever found out they had cancer or the end of the
- .• ::'::ad,that the mines world was coming or something. They say they'd do it, they really
i!n: .. .:.~.:.ie miners have been would, and it's as if a flash of agency would catapult them off the
[ _.~~ :-:::: . .:..,,-e mantra of stunned streets and into the limelight. Or at least it would provide some
;-::; ·.~.a:'to even weightier kind of real ending to a life. Or something.
lllii -=. ':'':'~:I1g breathing of men But these two young guys actually tried to bring their little
easy-desperate plan to life. One day they just walked up the road
II! _: ~.:.atefantasy. Someday
:0.':':.' and tried to rob a convenience store with a baseball bat. The police
. ::':'=-.0[ Rockefeller's man- caught them before they got five blocks away.They went to jail-
~..::~;iraw their focus to the no money, no parole. They got twenty-five years. The others shake
~ .•.•::;:: ~~.high brick walls that their heads. That's stupid. This is Texas.
iIl:::::: • .:.',;ing-classmasculinity,
41-':: ::....••• -::.:.sedlike loot.
E:: . ~. ~.jd moment. It works
- ....-- or a model for action,
r:-,.:: .:..=-.::. ui t between the lived
, .::.::::=-. Irom it). Potentiality
- .=-.~ ::Jmpelled by the drag Life Sentence Is Imposed in 3 Kidnapping Killings
::~~ie men just sit calmly WHEATON, ILL.-A jury on Monday sentenced a man to life in
prison for killing his pregnant exgirlfriend and two of her children,
 and kidnapping his nearly full-term son from her womb. The man, She offered to gin'
Lavern Ward, 26, denied taking part in the killings. Mr. Ward had to wait with the :w.."':-,;~~
:....
_;':£ c.

been found guilty of the 1995 slayings of Debra Evans, 26, and her in their bus tickets. -=-:-. ~:-
daughter, Samantha, 10, and her son, Joshua, 7. He was also con- They soon found he-: :.: - -"
victed of kidnapping the baby, who survived and is being cared for As it turned out. th:o -, ::l
by Ms. Evans'sfather. for child abduetioL
These are not t~,-=
The story takes her back to a visit with friends in the country. dream. Stories like t:-. - ,
Five women in a kitchen are trying to piece together the details
of the murders. A man and his new girlfriend cut the baby right
out of his ex-girlfriend's belly! What in the world! Then the new
girlfriend took the baby home like it was her own, like no one
would notice! The women are puzzling this over. Maybe she just Stories are leakin~
wanted a baby, or not a baby, exactly, but the little fame of instant night to prevent e:c,?::'~= .- " _
motherhood. shelves on the o\'e:-,: Z.': .:_~
She thinks it must have been like a weirdly literal surge to have when an electron:c ::-.:: .::. .. '
a picture-perfect life. It's as if, in the act of turning image into ankle. There vvas lee ~'. .:..' ~Z=-
matter, things got out of hand. workers had been t,.:::: : .. ~ .J

The women imagine it must have been like being in a dream for any reason mhe-: :__ .~-. _ ",.
you can't wake up from, but it's not real. get there while), 1r. :? ~ .::.: : __ ,
Then the weird murder story prompts the memory of another dog in the street:'
story about the guy down the road who stole from his father so In other lock-ir.o :.
his father sent him to the pen. When he got out, he killed his stocker in Savanr:.i-,.=-~: ,

father and chopped him up in twenty-some pieces. He raped his icscouldn'tgetin: :-':-._:~.:'::''::.. II
stepmother and took her and the car. She got away from him and and women ha\'~'- ::-.=-,-- -- - ~~ -,
~~-
.J.:!

called the police. Some workers reci.: ~. :'.' ~:::=-

The women talk about drugs and demons. They say nothing in could not physical> .::~ :.::= ,_
this world would make any of them do a thing like that. if the fire alarm v·e:~ .::~.z::::
Later, there's another story in the paper about a toddler kid- chained shut.
napped from a greyhound bus station in Chicago on Christmas Wal- Mart officii.o ;:. -- ,
Eve. The kidnapper had told her boyfriend in prison that she had thirty-five hundrec '::~: ~
had his baby. So when he was getting out she had to make good not something \,\'al- '. :.:-: -
on her claim. She hung out at the bus station. She struck up a con- that much.
versation with a young woman traveling with two small children. Wal-Mart proh:~::c .::_:

- - ~.~ killings.Mr. Ward had
~F:~c ='~braEvans, 26, and her
•• '
' ••. -. ..".3.. 7. He was also con-
-~:i and is being cared for
""0 ~_-. ~:-:endsin the country.
':lIT'': ~ ~':::.: together the details
Ie" ;- -.~~.o:nd cut the baby right
... -. ::':-.0: world! Then the new
. --c.s :"1erown, like no one
"'--.~.~-:"-.:'over. Maybe she just
~_~~.-.elittle fame of instant
k ~.:-:,>,-literalsurge to have
.::~==,f turning image into
IT - ~~' .::r:.e
memory of another
;;.,L-.: '~ole from his father so
1;",-'. :- .. -.0: got out, he killed his
~:::~-.: ~==epieces. He raped his
':'_' ~ '-.0: ~ot away from him and
':::='.~::-,S.
!il'.':: They say nothing in
?" _. .:: ~::-jnglike that.
--: .::'::::-o:r about a toddler kid-
;;;:c: - .::-. Chicago on Christmas
;'" -':~o:::-.:' in prison that she had
=-~ :..:.~ she had to make good
;' _ :~c.~:Dn.She struck up a con-
.,..': ..::-;:"'i rh two small children.
She offered to give them a ride home to Milwaukee. She offered
to wait with the younger daughter while the woman went to cash
in their bus tickets. Then she took off running with the little girl.
They soon found her at home with the little girl in another state.
As it turned out, this was not the first time she had been arrested
for child abduction.
These are not the only stories of people lurching toward a
dream. Stories like this pop up all over the place.
Stories are leaking out about Wal-Mart locking in workers at
night to prevent employee theft. Michael Rodriquez was stocking
shelves on the overnight shift at the Sam's Club in Corpus Christi
when an electronic cart driven by another employee smashed his
ankle. There was no manager with a key to let him out, and the
workers had been told they would be fired if they used the fire exit
for any reason other than a fire. It took an hour for a manager to
get there while Mr. Rodriquez hopped around yelling, "like a hurt
dog in the street."
In other lock-ins, a worker in Indiana suffered a heart attack; a
stocker in Savannah, Georgia, collapsed and died when paramed-
ics couldn't get in; a hurricane in Florida nearly destroyed a store;
and women have gone into labor in stores all over the country.
Some workers recall management telling them that the fire doors
could not physically be opened, but they would open, like magic,
if the fire alarm were triggered. Some recall fire doors that were
chained shut.
Wal-Mart officials say they are a very large company with over
thirty-five hundred stores. They say locking people in is certainly
not something Wal-Mart condones. It's not policy, they can tell us
that much.
Wal-Mart prohibits paid overtime work. So night-shift em-
ployees clock out at the fortieth hour on the fifth night of the
week, usually around I AM.Then they sit around napping, playing
cards, or watching television until a manager arrives at 6 AMto let
them out.

Seven prisoners C'CC:::" ~", ,

find the escape l:C.lC:~ ,:- c '::,3

the surveillance cae e:-.:., '

Whirl-Marters are the culture jammers of shopping. Like hoaxing, prisoners then ro b 0:::0:':': . '.a
hacking, and billboard banditry, whirl-marting is an immanent Lodge under aSSUIT.C':' :-C:.-' ,
critique that immerses itself in media machines and built environ- man's sporting goo~, ::::'c
ments to leave some kind of mark that gives pause, or to stick to a local police officer. -=-:.. " . -~,c C

slippery surface where critiques launched from a full-blown order offered. Stories circ'..:.:c:c"~'. -,
of right and wrong, true and false, might just slide off. run from the la\\', c: . ~,
Whirl-Marters go on nonshopping sprees. They push empty who evaded the Tey:, -~-- ~ :: -_ ~.-
,"C'
..

carts around the store in a procession, wearing identical Whirl- over the state. AI C:-oC ::: ' .... ::j

Mart T-shirts. Surveillance cameras in the ceiling watch their Oklahoma, bur pec,::.~ :~' c ,"
strange progress through the store. But Whirl-Marters make their Texas state policec~~'" ,.: '.:::
own videos of getting thrown out or of store managers screaming Some say the Te:,:""- •.__: ,'.
at them: "If you're gonna spend so much time in here, pick up an prison guards duriClz C,',::.·· c: .c":

application!!" "The customers like our store!" "Number one, man, They love their \\i-,~, ~':' '..I

on the fortune five hundred. WE'RE NUMBERONE!" and cop killers. PL':::.C 2

Once some Whirl- Marters alerted the media that they were th ey're even caugm, :: ::~':'
l'

going to bring a live chicken into a store to barter for an item the effects of the pc:'
of clothing made in a third world sweatshop. Police and man- in the prisons.
agers formed a human wall to block the chicken's entrance. So The owner of an :C,"

the Whirlers got in their cars and drove around the parking lot Wanted and thinks ::'c :-::':~.'_
playing an antiWal-Mart polka cranked up high on their stereos. one of his trailers. B..:.::.',"
Then they put the whole scene up on the Web. in. He's not sure if" ~..
with his wife.
Meanwhile, one
leaving the trailer LO Z: :::
church. He's the one ~...:: :.:..' .::
park decides to turn C.·.":-: '
 ; ~_~~~_efifth night of the
m ~ - .:.-: =-.:-ndnapping, playing
iI._ -~e: arrives at 6 AM to let

Seven prisoners escape from a south Texas prison. The police

find the escape truck in a nearby Wal-Mart parking lot, where
the surveillance cameras have captured the escapees on film. The
or _; '_-=?ping. Like hoaxing, prisoners then rob a Radio Shack, and they check into an Econo
j, - - ..-:__a:-~ingis an immanent
Lodge under assumed names. On Christmas Eve they rob an Osh-
E:~-. - =_-__ ,_esand built environ-
man's sporting goods store, steal a cache of weapons, and kill a
II - -::_-e' ~ Dause,or to stick to a local police officer. They remain at large for a month. A reward is
Iw..~_::. ~:-=,ma full-blown order offered. Stories circulate. They're like outlaws in the movies on the
IIlI: - slide off.
- - ~ ~S(
run from the law. Or like the banditos ofTex-Mex conido fame
~~ -;= :-ees.They push empty who evaded the Texas Rangers on horseback and were spotted all
_~: -iner identical Whirl- over the state. At one point there are snowstorms in Arkansas and
--- --- b
II!IE'-. - ~_-_" ceiling watch their Oklahoma, but people can't buy chains for their tires because the
lIE- :: _ --~ :rl-:\1arters make their Texas state police came through and bought them all.
Ill[ -; :-emanagers screamlllg
- • ~=
Some say the Texas 7 are nice guys. They didn't kill any of the
!!II,; - ~.=:1ein here, pick up an
_:-:_
prison guards during their escape. They're friends, human beings.
~ ,_--;:-e:"" "Number one, man, They love their wives. The police say they're hardened criminals
l'L, -__ :=:::R ONE!" and cop killers. Prosecutors ask for the death penalty before
1Ii!t::::-":. ~_-e =nedia that they were they're even caught. So then there's talk of the death penalty and
iI!JIJJnJ • ~;:-" ~o barter for an item the effects of the prison buildup, the unbelievable overcrowding
IIir :. e,:,-~'hop.Police and man- in the prisons.
:::r ~-_echicken's entrance. SO The owner of an RV park in Colorado watches America's Most
IB,. =;;e .i.:-oundthe parking lot "Wanted and thinks he recognizes the Texas 7 as the men living in
!~_---,;::' -~"J high on their stereos. one of his trailers. But he isn't sure. At first, he doesn't turn them
&[.- - -.-_e \~\eb. in. He's not sure it's his place to do so anyway. He talks it over
with his wife.
Meanwhile, one of the men joins a local church and starts
leaving the trailer to go to services. People see him several times at
church. He's the one they can definitely identify. The owner of the
park decides to turn them in.
 They stayed together (a mistake) because they were friends and world. Publicly cir.::..:_.:.
- - ;-_
because they had to get IDS and jobs before they could split up. neously snap into F:':''::~_~ -
When the police arrive, they find three of the men in a Jeep Public specters - ,-.
Cherokee parked outside the trailer. Two more men are inside; lined up on the talk ,~_ _-=J
one surrenders peacefully but the other commits suicide with a monstrous act. Or :~~ ~~:.... - -,
pistol. They discover the last two a couple of days later, hiding out on intimate dramas :~-
in a nearby Holiday Inn. Before they're arrested, they make some right out of the can. -~~~.=
live radio broadcasts denouncing the state's justice system, adding gallon-sized lids of :-=--::-_: .::~-
at the end that "the system is as corrupt as we are." carpet. Then the cC.n~= ~.:. .= :...-
Details continue to circulate about the lives of these men, espe- ents, and even the >=_= ~:..._
cially the "ringleader," George Rivas. He's very intelligent. Born in cheeks and chins L.::::- ': = , __ '.
EI Paso, raised by his grandparents after the divorce of his parents, Trauma TV mo== =
he dreamed of being a police officer. But he didn't participate in Vicious spectacles c,=-~ -=--=
high school activities. He named his dogs Ruger and Baretta, after thirty-second theE~ =_:_.: _-~
guns. A year after graduating from high school he committed his tense encounter \';~:i_.
first robbery and burglary, for which he was sentenced to ten years we reach the satura::~:-. = 2J_=.
of probation. He enrolled as a general studies major at the Uni- One day there ~, -=--=_ :.::'
versity of Texas at EI Paso, but two years later he started a string talk show. The tea=s =..:=::.
of robberies: a Radio Shack, an Oshman's sporting goods store, in 1976. His old b::.~--=--
a Toys 'R Us. In prison he made trustee status and worked in old daughter alone. -~:'__~_. -,
the prison's maintenance department, one of the best duty assign- daughter, who is pla~-:::-.;. - =-::
ments. He became disillusioned (he had been sentenced to life in a can of kerosene ::-:.:.:.:.:-=c-c:.
prison). He spent his nights confined to an austere eight-by-eight His story launches ::-_c: __ .
foot cell equipped with only a bunk, a wash basin, and a toilet ... car in the drive\\-c.',-.-.O_::.~_ - =1
he was sick of the lousy food ... he was tired of hearing the metal has been revoked =c,.=e:..-
doors slide shut when he returned to his cell at lockdown. just puts the bab,- i=:.= ~ .:.:..= _~I;
When he's captured, his own words are about justice and rage. town, the traffic's b-=--.::~::::. _,= :.=;
He's very articulate. red light. He's screc.=_~; ~ : 1

kerosene! I've got to ;::-: .-.:~- -=

and someone hits h:=:.= __-.:..=::. _c,e:
get there, they take :i_::- .= .:..=
aging to scream ab 0;':': : ~
Public and private spheres are drawn into a tight circuit, giving her. They take him 0= ::
the ordinary the fantasy quality of a private life writ large on the they get the little gi=: ::
 ,_ ::~-_:::',-
were friends and world. Publicly circulating styles, sensibilities, and affects simulta-
IIDI:' -C - ~.-.:Tcould split up.
•. ~::
neously snap into place in hearts all over the country.
: ~-,he men in a Jeep Public specters have grown intimate. There are all the bodies
~~:'Ie men are inside; lined up on the talk shows, outing their loved ones for this or that
: - :: ~-~its suicide with a monstrous act. Or the reality TV shows where the camera busts in
_- :: :: .::..::.~-s
later, hiding out on intimate dramas of whole families addicted to sniffing paint
" .:.:~::;~::::..
[hey make some right out of the can. We zoom in to linger, almost lovingly, on the
,:,'~icesystem, adding gallon-sized lids of paint cans scattered around on the living room
.T--- -- ---:::.::.re. carpet. Then the camera pans out to focus on the faces of the par-
h!1 :::' :):- [hese men, espe- ents, and even the little kids, with rings of white paint encircling
:::- imelligent. Born in cheeks and chins like some kind of self-inflicted stigmata.
1Ii.r --:: .::.:--mce of his parents, Trauma TV morphs into split, schizophrenic trajectories.
11::::- := .. '-:: :'idn't participate in Vicious spectacles of pain and dysfunction are followed by the
_ :::.:.::::,and Baretta, after thirty-second therapeutic sound-bite. We dive back into an in-
l1li) :. he committed his
_ : : tense encounter with something, no matter how fabricated. Then
iiL:r _:::=-_ Lencedto ten years we reach the saturation point and stop watching.
JUc:-'- - .. =--:::' major at the Uni- One day there is an old man in a wheelchair on an afternoon
111"1: ~:::=- ie started a string talk show. The tears run down his face as he tells the story of a day
:-::::ring goods store, in 1976. His old lady has left him and he's raising his two-year-
II: --~.::.~-.:.sand worked in old daughter alone. When he gets up to go to the bathroom, his
De1 ' : : ~=-_::: best duty assign- daughter, who is playing on the porch, goes over and drinks from
1Jlm:: ::.: :'::::=-- '::ntenced to life in a can of kerosene that a neighbor had left for him that morning.
rim£:_.. - .:.:.'~::reeight-by-eight His story launches into graphic details: he has a broken-down
.,. -,-,in.and a toilet ...
~. =-
car in the driveway, with no plates on it, and his driver's license
lht '.",_ -':::. ::- hearing the metal has been revoked for drunk driving. But it's an emergency so he
II ~:: __
.::.~
lockdown. just puts the baby in the car and takes off flying. When he gets to
111'11 ' ,: : -.:.rjustice and rage. town, the traffic's backed up and people won't let him through the
red light. He's screaming: "I've got a baby in here and she's drunk
kerosene! I've got to get her to the hospital!" He runs the red light
and someone hits him hard and breaks his neck. When the police
get there, they take the baby to the hospital because he's still man-
aging to scream about the kerosene, but they don't let him go with
- .: .: ~ight circuit, giving her. They take him off to jail for driving without a license. When
III!iF -,~:: .::~ writ large on the they get the little girl to the hospital, they see that she has scrapes
on her knees from playing on the cement porch, and they decide
to take her away from him. The last time he sees her is on July 6th
in the welfare office by the elevators. She's crying frantically. He
tells her, "Don't cry, poodle doggie, daddy's gonna come back and
get you some day." And that's the last day he sees her. He's been
looking for her ever since. One day Sissy's hcF:' "-:-_
~ ~ __
On the talk show, father and daughter are reunited. They hug smart guy who tolc ~__~- -- _ -=
and kiss. Then he looks at his daughter, his mouth trembling and thing about hO\\ l+e ~:::
the tears pouring down his face, and says, "I wanted you, poodle have to print up a "-~_:.:
dog, I wanted to keep you, I always wanted you, honey!" Bud thinks that meC.~_' ~-c - - -:

The nightmarish realities on display in the scene of public Sissy thinks the gu:.-' ~c...":'-". ,~,
viewing are unthinkable, ridiculous, and ritually replayed with "But who cares?~ h- ~__.-:
only slight variations. It's not like the scenes are supposed to be They say the value =~~ _~
ideals or warning signs. They capture a haunted potential. Things People say they're ,i:: .-::~ - _
go off on trajectories. They're pushing something. "Pushing the of 60 Minutes on -
envelope" is a light, popular phrase but it might not capture the tel and jewelers c;:.r.'~~:'_ - -: .
state of things. diamonds, anywa,-,_- _ ~-- --
I could bank on m'.- _

The ordinary can turn on you.

Lodged in habits, conceits, and the loving and deadly contacts Racism can be a liy:: ~:_-_:c -
of everyday sociality, it can catch you up in something bad. Or can dreams of racia.: _:~: .-
good. People of color of:::~_::---
Or it can start out as one thing and then flip into something market. They strike..:? .-:- _
else altogether. A tension seems to :.-e:::"-::, _ -
One thing leads to another. An expectation is dashed or ful- provides an openin§:: .-~ _~
filled. An ordinary floating state of things goes sour or takes off Other times, the- ~:~ - _ _
into something amazing and good. Either way, things turn out to tau rants or at swim,,-:._.-_~
.-
be not what you thought they were. who it will be. SorH:_~-.:
it. It's a demandin§.:.? e>
you're doing?" or "\':-~_: .:.-
public like this." It c.,,-_
c.:::
 - _: ~~_,and they decide
=::' :eer is on July 6th
::--_=-_£frantically. He
::: ~_=-_a
come back and
':: '::=s her. He's been
One day Sissy's husband, Bud, came home talking about a real
...::: ~::--..:.nited.They hug smart guy who told him that the economy is going bust. Some-
-- : ~:h trembling and thing about how the price of gold would go way up and they'd
._.':ired you, poodle have to print up a whole different kind of money-red money .
~
, noney. ,
" Bud thinks that means that the color of the money will be red, but
, :,-_= scene of public Sissy thinks the guy's talking about communist money somehow.
. ~ : :-~~h- replayed with "But who cares? My money isn't worth anything anyway," she says .
c -::. :c.:e supposed to be They say the value of gold is all imaginary-and diamonds too.
.: ::::. potential. Things People say they're the best investment, but she just saw an episode
.
-:--_:::,-::ng, "Pus h'mg t h e of 60 Minutes on how the diamond mines are controlled by a car-
, -:-__~:--_rnot capture the tel and jewelers can't tell the difference between zirconium and
diamonds, anyway. "Just my luck," she thinks. "I always thought
I could bank on my wedding rings,"

I:; :c.Eddeadly contacts Racism can be a live texture in the composition of a subject. So
~ _ _::_ something bad. Or can dreams of racial utopia.
People of color often smile at her and her daughter in the super-
II: '-.' :::- :=jp into something market. They strike up conversations. They say the baby is so cute.
A tension seems to release, as if a white woman with a brown baby
lIB : ::':':_In is dashed or ful- provides an opening for public encounter.
. ;:: =s sour or takes off Other times, they get vicious stares from white people in res-
-
Ii :c.'.-, rhings turn out to taurants or at swimming pools. You can't tell by looking at people

ID~:
who it will be. Sometimes it's young, hip-looking women who do
it. It's a demanding, persistent stare that says, "What do you think
you're doing?" or "Who do you think you are, parading around in
public like this." It amazes her. She get tense, enraged. She stares
them down. "Who are these people?" "Who do they think they ture because the- _
are?" final boarding caL :) ~__- : __
She wonders what they've been reading and what church they their cell phones :O.~_::. ~ - -- . .
go to or what it is, exactly, that animates them and this trouble. ing video games.
Thursday nigh~
which is attendee.. :~ ;::-
are evident in fee.:~~_ ~. .1

talism, sex eduG~:_::-_

The Calvary Chapel church emerged during the Jesus movement sexuality throug!:1 ~:-_:
of the I970s. It drew converts through Christian rock festivals, duced ludicrous
go-go clubs, love-ins, coffeehouses, surfer clubs, baptisms in the sense. Christians
ocean, and hotlines for kids on bad trips, including a thirty-second computer might ,:..,;:~:-
cure for heroine addiction. Now it's morphed into a huge network the story of Peter :0.::-_::' ~.:
of suburban evangelical megachurches that mix hyperconserva- species. A person -'-_~__
. ::---:~
tive apocalypticism with a hip style-or, rather, a multicultural son with AIDS car.::-_::: :. -:
mall style. want to ban ton ~:-_-'-:
: :. -=,
The church hosts weekly meetings of the Working Women's shouting match '."-:~~--
Joyful Life Bible Study, Proverbs Class for Men, High School to control us. The :?' _-=- -=- :~L'
Mothers' Prayer Meeting, New Spirit Alcohol and Drug Recovery, accounts. Thev're :.:.... -=-.::- ::.-
.
Singles' Group, Prison Fellowship, and the Physically Disabled new fiber and the ~::~- -:---
Fellowship. Its bookstores offer books on the end-times symptoms pay your taxes bee-,-.': ~.::..-
of liberal humanism and Christian self-help books. The world is
in a steady moral decline. Kids who spend all their time on com-
puter games no longer play kick-the-can and hide-and-seek. The
storytellers are no longer the parents and teachers; instead, the
huge media conglomerates have taken on the role. But the pastor Anyone can fine. ~-_:~;:: :c_!:'J
, -
offers practical tips on how to be a Christian in the end times: try later, everyone de:, ;:.- :-:.:.
talking to non-Christians at holiday parties, do lunch with a co- yourself participa~:::-_~ __-.:: c::J
worker or invite neighbors for dinner, invite non-Christian men She takes up B- c:. ..
to watch the game with you, make contacts when you're working them, it's a joke.
out or at kids' events, contact people you used to know ("Though something to a he:: ::~ __
:-:
some, it's better not to look 'em up, know what I'm sayin'?"). effort.
Wednesday is movie night at the church. Christian horror Body for Life i, -'-__
: -. -
movies show scenes of teenagers who miss the plane to the rap- before-and-after Fi:~_~:
 ture because they are too distracted by a Walkman to hear the
final boarding call. Businessmen miss the flight because they're on
~; ~.:. ,•.·hat church they their cell phones and portable computers doing business or play-
Iiim._.= . - ~=-=-. :endthis trouble. ing video games.
Thursday night is the Christian Prophecy Update Meeting,
which is attended, it seems, by the church's extremists. Evil forces
are evident in federal gun control, unisex bibles, environmen-
talism, sex education in the schools, and the spread of homo-
Jesus movement
F:: - .. --; ~--.;:' sexuality through the media. False knowledge systems have pro-
Iar". L'::'- = .- ~:,~ian rock festivals, duced ludicrous claims posing as mainstream values and common
.._.-=~ ~_~,_baptisms in the sense. Christians have to learn to read between the lines. A man's
~._-=-:'~ga thirty-second computer might suggest that he call his wife his "spouse," and
fif:' II' ;-:-- :::.. _=--~:oa huge network the story of Peter and the Wolf is suddenly about an endangered
. - ~- ~'.:.\:hyperconserva- species. A person with measles can be quarantined, while a per-
- ~~~_o_;:,r.a multicultural son with AIDS cannot even be legally identified. Gun-control nuts
want to ban toys that even resemble guns. It's a crime to have a
- -_-.~\\~·orkingWomen's shouting match with your wife. The war on drugs is just an excuse
IIIi - ~ >i;:,n, High School to control us. The IRS suddenly has the right to access our bank
;KI! -.. - •. :..-.dDrug Recovery, accounts. They're building up the backbone of the Internet with
ip .::.-: ~~:YsicallyDisabled new fiber and the government can't control it. But don't bother to
•• w~,c -0-: ::_i-times symptoms pay your taxes because the Lord is coming soon .
•• -. - = .:: :- :-,oks.The world is
° :t_eirtime on com-
.:: '--.

- __- c-:' :-:'ide-and-seek.The

- .::~:::e:hers;instead, the
1liIIlI!£<:::-' - -. __ :: :ole. But the pastor Anyone can find herself caught up in a little world. Sooner or
_.~__.••... the end times: try later, everyone does. Something comes into view and you find
lunch with a co-
':'0 yourself participating in the apparatus that made it.
- ~: ~on-Christian men She takes up Body for Life on the advice of a friend. Between
=. :~'-t.en you're working them, it's a joke. They call it their cult. But they also know there's
__::
i :0 know ("Though something to a little extreme self-transformation, or at least the
___
:e~I'm sayin'?"). effort.
~- .: '::.0.. Christian horror Body for Life is a best-selling bodybuilder's book with glossy
~:o.;:' plane to the rap- before-and-after pictures on the covers. "Twelve weeks to mental
and physical strength." It's a challenge to put down the beer and everyone back; Hlc:. ; ~c:-
chips and start loving life, not just living it; thriving, not just the twelve-week c:-_~,:- :-
surviving. gazing approving,~ c-~,
She isn't at all taken with the oiled, muscle-man and muscle- you. You realize :,':''':''
woman pictures, but the little game of moving back and forth be- She isn't intere'~e::.
tween the before-and-after shots literally catches her eye. The eye actually reads rhe:: '
jumps from the fat and pale to the tanned and muscled. Peek-a- after photos and =:-_e::- ~,
boo. All the bodies are white. They remind her of the body displays at the end of rhe '::-:.
she was always running into in Las Vegas at the post office, or at of the charts so s:-.e = c-::--
the drive-in movie theater, or while waiting in line to get a new memorizes the acce~~c:-
driver's license. The half-naked bodybuilders with wet-skinned meal and gleefull~'"c-~
snakes draped around their necks, or a monkey on a leash, or a the week, as insL:'L:~"':' -
stars-and-stripes halter top and permed blonde hair. bars. She experic,,-~: ':'-J
Her friend calls the people in the pictures "beef cakes." Class shake taste like a ~.:.:-c--c
seems to be somehow involved in all this (but if you ask anyone lime pie. She geLS:::-.": :- _ _
they swear up and down that the people into Body for Life come come a piece of r.e: --::--::-..' -
from all walks of life). A "mainstream" emerges out of it as the the sliding in an c=_: :: .:
will to change and the game of imagining the fruits of success. she reduces the
-
In this mainstream-a space of promise-it's as if people can be exercise and \\"h", :: "c-~
catapulted out of the back seat of life and flighty, self-defeating Later, she SLUe ~ :" :
dreams can be made vital, generative flesh. There are testimonies work of dozens c:' ::, c-~
of the breakthroughs that happened when people were looking that make Bo~).;r( _,> ": ' c:e:l
at the pictures, or watching the inspirational video you get for ... those who ._ ,
a fifteen-dollar donation to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Sud- abundant life ,,'e :-.c-'e:, _' : -
denly released from sluggish banality and the feeling of being all freedom." Others.:.:" -_
alone, people begin to crave the twelve-week program even more sonal ads with pic,..:.::·
than they crave ice cream, chocolate, chips, and beer. In the char rooc' :- - ~ :-
There's nothing weird about how this happens. It's laid out like fesses that she cael.':C'.: ":
a twelve-step program in which spiritual transformation flows in the bowl ofHaL:::e- - '"
directly through the flesh. First you ask yourself hard questions support in capilal :,,::::
and write down the answers. You create twelve weekly goals and A man happily _ ,_,
voice them with mimicked confidence every morning and night favorite is chocolale ~ . .:." - -"-
until the confidence is real. You create five daily habits. You com- of ice from the RL::-:::.__'c,:
mit. You focus. You surrender the negative emotions that hold the jar and then pc,..:.: :-:
m.e- ': :: _~ down the beer and everyone back; you start looking forward. Everyone who takes up
ill -~ > thriving, not just the twelve-week challenge is a winner. You imagine other people
gazing approvingly at your new body until that image becomes
- _' :,=-man and muscle- you. You realize you will never again get sidetracked.
11:=---'::: back and forth be- She isn't interested in the inspirational business and she never
lIE-_ : ~~::-,c:sher eye. The eye actually reads the book. She plays the game of the before-and-
I: muscled. Peek-a- after photos and then goes directly to the food and exercise charts
IE:T: ::':: of the body displays at the end of the book. She gets organized. She makes copies
Ii ::::__~~ :ic: post office, or at of the charts so she can fill them out every day like a diary. She
III:: ~ =-=--_ ~ ::1 line to get a new memorizes the acceptable foods and stocks up. She ritualizes each
1111': - _ ::::s with wet-skinned meal and gleefully eats whatever she wants on the seventh day of
,-
r.- -' -- ~~-~\...
- ,-~\-on a leash ' or a the week, as instructed. She orders boxes of the shakes and power
.I: _ : _:=-_=-=hair. bars. She experiments with the recipes that make the chocolate
- =-_::' --beefcakes." Class shake taste like a banana split and the vanilla shake taste like key
: ...:.~
if you ask anyone lime pie. She gets the picture. She feels the surge. She lets it be-
- . _=-: Body for Life come come a piece of her. Then there are the inevitable ups and downs,
IIE:::J.= :=.::§:c:sout of it as the the sliding in and out of Body for Life's partial cocoon. Over time,
••.....
::.-~_:: ::,= fruits of success. she reduces the program to a few new prejudices about how to
IllmTI:: - _: s as if people can be exercise and what to eat.
I -:: "':',:ghty,self-defeating Later, she stumbles on Body for Life Community.com-a net-
Ill! -. ~ --:1J.c:reare testimonies work of dozens of chat rooms. Some are Christian fellowships
lIIlt:~ :=-.?cople were looking that make Body for Life their gospel: "Carry the message or wither
- c - .=-.2i video you get for ... those who haven't been given the truth may not know the
ta .... - · Foundation. Sud- abundant life we have found-a way out, into life, a real life with
.11- _-:: :.' = teeling of being all freedom." Others are organized by area and look exactly like per-
Pi: program even more
:::: sonal ads with pictures.
lilt - ~( .,-ndbeer. In the chat rooms, things get really concrete. One woman con-
IIlii -~:,=,cns.It's laid out like fesses that she can smell the chocolate right through the wrappers
...'_~ ::ansformation flows in the bowl of Halloween candy by the door, and someone shouts
-:...:.rselfhard questions support in capital letters: HANG IN THERE! YOU CAN DO IT!!!
~- ': :--'=h"c:
weekly goals and A man happily obsesses about how to prepare his shakes. "My
.: ::=-:. morning and night favorite is chocolate and to prepare the shake I always use 3 cubes
~.' -: =-c.ilyhabits. You corn- of ice from the Rubbermaid mold, put them (without water) in
Ia: ' ~ __. : c:motions that hold the jar and then pour the water in. Use twelve and a half ounces
and I centimeter, then blend for about fifty-five seconds. You got in the mirror. 1t.e ::-~: '
to use a stopwatch! I think this is why I love Myoplex, because I the palpable proT:':: ~' ~. -:2--:
blend it for more seconds and I drink it cool without milk or ba- world can be mac:: ::-~:••_.
nanas. " ting on track is no~ ~:-.::
Connections between people are important: "Good morning a tightrope from -.--.'.,
to everyone. Been off for a few days. Lizzy- sorry to hear about or an "epidemic O~· ~:-,::'
your migraine-scary! Jim-it's true-your pictures don't do decision, the bod\ ~::~_~' - "
you justice! Abs-I love your philosophy! It's true-we become
what we think about. Deb-Congratulations! Good luck with
your photos-can't wait to see your progress! If you find some-
thing that covers bruises, let me know- I bruise just thinking
about bumping into something. Can't wait to see you all at the The body surges. = ,_j

upcoming events!" Lifestyles and ::-,.=. __ ~--, '..1

There are support groups for the dieting and for ongoing make of the ,Ya,' :~ ~.-,~,
troubles and tragedies. The way it bu::c' ,~,
The public face of Body for Lift is made of excessive self- The way the
expressions that proclaim, confess, obsess, and gush. Not be- carried away. It s~.-"-:- __
cause the body really does just get on track and stay there, but drifts downstrear. __,,::
because it slumps and gets sidetracked and rejoins its Body for Agency lodgec i:- ~:-::~ .•• -
Lift self. It wants and it doesn't want; it might do one thing or tal. It no sooner S~-'-~~: ,J]

another. It noses its way along the track its on until it comes and then holes , _~ li
across a something. The half-formed trajectories are always the together or pull c. . "., ~ ':
most compelling. It's when the body is in a partly un actualized redolent with sme:~' , ,',
state and unanchored that it feels most intimate, familiar, and fires burrowed i:D~"
alive. When the body is beside itself, it pulses in the mutual and heavy things :. ~,~:.'
impact of dream and matter, hesitation and forward thrust. It to jolt it to atten::.:-
wants to be part of the flow. It wants to be in touch. It wants to The body kno-.',' i~:-- ~
be touched. It flexes its muscles in a state of readiness, hums like exhaustion, and rc.""-"-
a secret battery kept charged, registers stress in a back spasm or It can be alert 'Cc ::-.::
a weak limb. air or to a movem,,:-.::: '
Body for Lift says turning fleeting fantasies into a vital force is It can be ponde: ••..•. ' "
about making a decision, but making a decision is itself about emptiness. As a ne'," ,
playing games, looking at pictures, following recipes, mimicking
desired states, inventing social imaginaries, and talking to yourself
 :: 5C'conds.You got
:-oplex, because I
_~~-:.out
milk or ba-
1:':1: --:~.:: .. Good morning
L _.==- . : ::-'.' to hear about
Rt: - ::-:c~ures don't do
1liIiI:-:-- ~:·J.C'-we become
i-::;'oodluck with
=~-':ou find some-
. : ":'.'C'just thinking
''::: YOU all at the
- =:~-excessive self-
:c_::' gush. Not be-
:c_::'stay there, but
::: :,ins its Body for
- ;"_: ::'0 one thing or
: c. until it comes
. :::: ::::5 are always the
- c ::.=-~>.- unactualized
: redolent with smells of sweat, or cheap perfume, or smoky wood
. ""_::'~C'. familiar, and
: __ ':5 in the mutual
" ::.:-:::\Yard thrust. It
-: "~:..:.ch. It wants to
. :::::.::'i:1ess,hums like
_c_::.back spasm or
_c_ ~o a vital force is
:. ':1 is itself about
.:=:::cipes, mimicking
~_::.~':":'kingto yourself
in the mirror. The proliferating cultures of the body spin around
the palpable promise that fears and pleasures and forays into the
world can be made productive, all-consuming passions. But get-
ting on track is not the simple, sober choice of a lifetime but rather
a tightrope from which you can topple into ordinary sloppiness
or an "epidemic of the will" like obsessive dieting.13 And after any
decision, the body returns to its ordinary buzz.
The body surges. Out of necessity, or for the love of movement.
Lifestyles and industries pulse around it, groping for what to
make of the way it throws itself at objects of round perfection.
The way it builds its substance out of layers of sensory impact.
The way the body is submerged in a flow and both buoyed and
carried away. It strains against recalcitrant or alien forces, or it
drifts downstream, eyes trained on the watery clouds overhead.
Agency lodged in the body is literal, immanent, and experimen-
tal. It no sooner starts out than it gets sidetracked or hits a wall
and then holes up, bulks up, wraps itself up. It might pull itself
together or pull a veil around itself, build a nest of worn clothing
fires burrowed into wool. If it gets sluggish, it might call for sweet
and heavy things to match its inner weight, or for salt and caffeine
to jolt it to attention.
The body knows itself as states of vitality, immersion, isolation,
exhaustion, and renewal.
It can be alert to the smell of something sweet or rancid in the
air or to a movement too quick, a gesture that's a little off.
It can be ponderous, too, gazing on its own form with a zen like
emptiness. As a new lover, it dotes on revealed scars and zones in
on freckles and moles and earlobes. As one of the anxious aging, She scans her dr;:"-L-,
it's drawn to the sight of new jowls and mutant hairs and mottled what might be c.:.::: - :.
skin in the bathroom mirror. smells ofkumqu,,-: ::". ~- - -,
The body is both the persistent site of self-recognition and the mourning dows '"~,: ::::- : c,

thing that always betrays us. It dreams of redemption bur it knows and now breed iL :_-".. ::
better than that too. She knows \\+ - :_-: -.
It loves and dreads the encounters that make it. It latches onto out on the tracL::.: -
a borrowed intimacy or a plan of some sort. had been dmvn c.: ::: ::
Layers of invented life form around the body's dreamy surges event for the Stf;:;:: ::::. :::
like tendons or fat. gesture, a wide-cl?":
startled amplirucc:
the housed on a c_.:.
party host, maLL; "-:: ~-.:]
There are crashe' :.:.:
She's at a Laurie Anderson show at the Soho Guggenheim. The the stage, the voc.:.:.;
show is called "Your Fortune, $1." A white plastic owl is perched tonight. There arc:==-;--
on a stool in a darkened corner spewing our a stream of two-bit ThatnightBo::·-:: c :":J

advice, trenchant commentary, and stray advertising lingo. Its me- alone. He folh"c: c :-" -. _ - -=
chanical yet sensuously grainy voice drones on and on, transfixing story, Bobby sat '".: :-.: ::::-_'
her in a flood of Hallmark greeting card schlock. But somehow moment of rep:i;:" ~. .:.-
the owl's simple repetitions intensifY the ordinary background high, lonesome ': _:::. -
noise of slogans and cries of alarm, giving it a sensory texture that the penny laid OL :-" •. _
is at once deadening and weirdly ponderous. power. He la:- de,--':. c:':'
Then the owl says something she swears she was just uncon- the long train p."::'; -. -__
sciously chanting to herself: "Sometimes when you hear someone he hadn't, the tL::.
scream it goes in one ear and out the other. Sometimes it passes can sleep with a :: ,,-_:-
right into the middle of your brain and gets stuck there." Sometimes LC.- - -

for the train to :::,.:..':

grants drifted
their own welcor:';: :: .- .. -
into a memon· 0: :.-.: .'
A train wails in the still of the night. It often wakes her. Or it the coal trains \\.,.'_. .:. .:.
lodges in her sleep, reemerging as a tactile anxiety in the dawn. of town. People -.-,:_,.:. ~_-
~'" ~~ ~he anxious aging,
-- _-:...:-_
~:l.airsand mottled
- :,<~:ognition and the
lID -:.::.~,,~:,~ionbutitknows
a Guggenheim. The
-~ ~-,-,~i;:owl is perched
_: -'-sueam of two-bit
_ : .::.~,:i,ing lingo. Its me-
It ~- - : -, -'-:1d
on, transfixing
II'! ~. ~-,-~':k. But somehow
.}~ : ,-=.i:1arybackground
.: :..,,,mory texture that
',-," was just uncon-
',~:-_-.-ouhear someone
~Jmetimes it passes
,~'.:.;:kthere."
: -=-:~" 'wakes her. Or
it
: -,---jety in the dawn.
She scans her dreamy brain for what might have happened or
what might be coming. The morning air is saturated with the
smells of kumquat trees and mimosa blossoms and the sounds of
mourning doves and pet parrots that long ago escaped their cages
and now breed in the trees.
She knows why the train cries. Danny's friend Bobby passed
out on the tracks one night and was killed. He and his old lady
had been down at the free concert on the river. This is a charged
event for the street people. There are graceful moments: a dance
gesture, a wide-open smile, a sudden upsurge of generosity, the
startled amplitude of pariahs suddenly rubbing shoulders with
the housed on a public stage, perhaps even playing the role of
party host, making announcements or giving directions or advice.
There are crashes too: the people falling down drunk in front of
the stage, the vomiting, a man huddled and pale, too sick to party
tonight. There are fights.
That night Bobby had a fight with his old lady and stomped off
alone. He followed the train tracks to the camp. Then, in Danny's
story, Bobby sat alone on the tracks, taking stock in a booze-soaked
moment of reprieve. Bobby loved the romance of the train: the
high, lonesome sound in the distance, the childhood memory of
the penny laid on the tracks, the promise of movement, the sheer
power. He lay down and closed his eyes. Then, in the middle of
the long train passing, he raised his head, awakening. They say if
he hadn't, the train would have passed right over him. But who
can sleep with a train passing by overhead?
Sometimes now she gets stuck at the railroad crossing waiting
for the train to pass. One day, a boxcar full of Mexican immi-
grants drifted slowly by, waving and smiling as if they were staging
their own welcome to the United States. Another time she drifted
into a memory of the coal mining camps in West Virginia where
the coal trains would block for hours the only road in and out
of town. People would get out and lean on their trucks to talk.
Once a quiet claim began to circulate that someday somebody Abject and un::' ~~ .
was going get a pile of dynamite, blow the train in half, and clear thinkable. They §::
the road for good. the necessary or -.
The train shapes a story of abjection mixed with vital hopes.
Something in the exuberant waving of the new immigrants, the
explosive claims in the coal camps, or Bobby's lying down to sleep
on the tracks, suggests an intoxicated confidence that surges be-
tween life and dream. It's as if the train sparks weighted promises Some who live 0 C ~.'. ~ .::.=, _ ,cUll
and threats and incites a reckless daydream of being included in a very much nose ~i:~.', = -:
world. wolves at bay.
This is the daydream of a subject whose only antidote to struc- The wild ones ,~
tural disenfranchisement is a literal surge of vitality and mobility. suffering the cons:::.. =' : .
A subject whose extreme vulnerability is rooted in the sad affect use themselves as ~:' '" lJI"l

of being out of place, out ofluck, or caught between a rock and a world.
hard place, and who makes a passionate move to connect to a life They build th::~
when mainstream strategies like self-discipline or the gathering of push things to see '. ,.
resources like a fortress around the frail body are not an option. A Danny grew '-"? .
subject who is literally touched by a force and tries to take it on, young men earnec ~':-.:'
to let it puncture and possess one, to make oneself its object, if names- "Dannl' -':i:'~~:
only in passing. A subject for whom an unattainable hope can be- and skill and a cac:: .~'= "'':JJ1
come the tunnel vision one needs to believe in a world that could Like the time Da::.::. : ._
include one.14 pole in a lightnic; ,~~.- : __"Ln
This kind of thing happens all the time. It's an experiment that thrown open, ane :.'.:'::.- ,"
starts with sheer intensity and then tries to find routes into a "we" to the beer store c:~'~
::,::.
that is not yet there but maybe could be. It's a facility with imag- drove straight thrc.:;'
ining the potential in things that comes to people not despite the through the crops. -=-.'~" ":::i

fact that it's unlikely anything good will come of it but rather be- even after the o\\T;: ~ :.' ., , _ 12

cause of that fact. Dannyhasstori:;.:;'" ::llt:

It's as if the subject of extreme vulnerability turns a dream of andviolentimpac' '_-=-:",- -~1
possible lives into ordinary affects so real they become paths one somehow radicaliz: :,',~ , _ :1
can actually travel on. One Christmas. ".'. =' ': .. '.~.
heavily all day, the' -=~: -=.:: 2

14 See Rajchman, lhe Deleuze Connections, 140-44, for a discussion Claus propped up::, :' :'
of how all "beliefin the world" is lodged in sensation. grabbed a meat c:~~~. _' :'..lJ
 : •..•..
cday somebody Abject and unlivable bodies don't just become "other" and un-
- _=-" half, and clear thinkable. They go on living, animated by possibilities at work in
the necessary or the serendipitous.
• - .:.:'.ilh vital hopes.
0

1·- - ~-- i:nmigrants, the

• • _-:=-.gdown to sleep
lid. _.-=.:.::=-.~~ Ihat surges be-
- _.::c -'cighted promises Some who live on the edge claim a certain craziness; for others it's
- -.--~:n(Jincludedina
- -~~
- ;:,
very much nose to the grindstone, running in place to keep the
wolves at bay.
--_- ••midote to struc- The wild ones say they're wide open and they spend their lives
:~iIY and mobility. suffering the consequences. It's like they never learn; it's like they
Irr ::~••in the sad affect use themselves as testing grounds for the forces at play in the
II!".::L_':':-· : ~..-.'.-c:en
a rock and a world.
~;D:: -. ~:: connect to a life They build their identities out of impacts and escapes. They
f..D. : _.:_ ~::-the gathering of push things to see where they'll go.
'.:.: ••:~ not an option. A Danny grew up in a place in rural North Carolina where
,-.: ~:_.:.: ::-iesto take it on, young men earned the honorific title of being called by their full
: : :-..eselfits object, if names - "Danny Webb" - by doing crazy things that took nerve
__::::"::-..able hope can be- and skill and a complete disregard for what could happen to them.
~ _:.•• world that could Like the time Danny climbed, drunk, to the top of a telephone
pole in a lightning storm, balanced precariously on the top, arms
lilt =: ' ••n experiment that thrown open, and then fell. Or the time he was in a hurry to get
1::- .- routes
:_:.-:'. into a "we" to the beer store before it closed, so instead of taking the road, he
m~: =:' •• :acility with imag- drove straight through a mile of tobacco fields, tearing up a path
I!'I:T= :: ~Jple not despite the through the crops. Then he used the path whenever he needed to,
IIIl :: ;-_c ;f it but rather be- even after the owner of the fields tried to shoot him.
Danny has stories. Stories filled with mad, momentary victories
t L:::::: :=.fY turns a dream of and violent impacts suffered. And stories filled with wild surges to
l':~ :_-.c'.-
become paths one somehow radicalize the world through sacrifice.
One Christmas, when he and some friends had been drinking
heavily all day, they decided to attack the life-sized wooden Santa
:-'-:>44, for a discussion Claus propped up in the living room. After a few rounds, Danny
. ::_<.:ion. grabbed a meat cleaver and ran across the room, plunging the
knife deep into the wood. His hand slid down the blade, leaving dictions, hunger
two fingers cut to the bone and one hanging off. But the high who come unhi::.z::~ ."
point of his story is the scene of getting pulled over by a cop while desire to realin', -=-"-.::', _ :.21!1
he and his friends were speeding down the highway to the hospi- sad, exhausted, e:-:'.~- ,
tal in an old pickup in the middle of the night. Still drunk, they servative preside: :':n
c,'

told the cop it was an emergency and he told them to get out of with you on yoe '
the truck. Danny said, "No, really," and opened the towel pressed They are livir.; :..-. ,. -,'II
around his wound. The blood gushed out, spurting all over the out of an even'co.'
windows to the rhythm of his heartbeat. Some of the blood hit ties of all kinds. ~ ,
the cop's face. His face went white and he waved them on, shout- act but more like o...-
mg, "Go.IG o.I"
o
subject into the ::...::~=
Danny and his friends have big parties out in the country or at One thanksg::,:-:- .:: '
"the compound," where he has finally settled down in a hard and people on a bus" :::=='
sweet utopia/hell down by the tracks. They play music all night zone of contact :::.',' =
and the music resonates in their bodies: Matt becomes fiddle, Another time .'. ::
Danny becomes guitar, Rebecca becomes mandolin. They build a at the VA hospiIe:..:....
bonfire, smoke some ribs, tell stories. have their own F: : :.: : , '
Sometimes they perform an attack on the American dream, he found a Mr. '::;~:. ,
like smashing a television set and throwing the pieces on the bon- donated a huge .....'::~
fire while they dance around it. three burners. =!:':-.'
They cherish derelict spaces. They occupy a zone of indetermi- maker, drove iI :':.:: '
nacy. They're slippery. There was a lot c ...'~ ~
They live the life of a sheer collaboration produced through see if it was wor:,::::;:
circuits of debts, gifts, affects, and hard necessities. If one of them use it because iI
finds work, he will cut the others in. When they work, they work couldn't use it t,:: .
hard and fast. They build fences and furniture and sheds, cut down making calls age.::-.:
massive trees, xeriscape Bowerbeds, haul brush, run electricity or wanted to dona:e .. ,
plumbing. They gear up for a big job and then knock it out. Then was going on. 11:, ,
they party while they're still sweaty, exhausted, satisfied, together. "Trust is a break. : '. ':u
In the down times, there are long days of hanging out in living probabilities. The ,'. ' •=
rooms set up in the fields beside their shacks. Days of peace or and deliberation, .'
helpless despair. There are art projects built out of rusted metal its own momen'· .... :-.' ' ....
u
and aged wood. There are love affairs. There are rages, fights, ad- from a lock, swe:>;: =1
 - -_-_::
"=,~-,-de,
leaving
::- -;: : =- But the high
- -:::::,- a cop while
- ;:-_'e---:O the hospi-
-_;:-: S::~~drunk, they
~ ~-_:::-:__to get out of
- ::: :':- :::-_::
:owel pressed
- _:::::g all over the
- - _~
__
=:':- ,he blood hit
:-:: ~ ::-:em on, shout-
- _: _:-_:ie country or at
in a hard and
: -:_ :::- ~ :'.'.Tc
- -:: :-:e-'-music all night
: ~=:~becomes fiddle,
=- __=-_::olin,They
build a
::-_::_-\merican dream,
;: ::-_::vieces on the bon-
_____produced through
--~ -:: :::<sities. If one of them
-:::-_:he:; work, they work
_::0: and sheds, cut down
It- _ : :-~sh, run electricity or
- _ :~,e:nknock it out. Then
1rC- __ -=>:ed, satisfied, together.
I'lII_=~ :,:- hanging out in living
f _ _ - '_-_dcks.Days of peace or
1": - : ..:.ih out of rusted metal
--:-_-_::re
are rages, fights, ad-
dictions, hunger, sickness, withdrawal, suicide. There are those
who come unhinged at times. Those who Boat, unable to connect
desire to reality. There are days, or weeks, or months, or years, of
sad, exhausted, emptiness. There is crazy talk about shooting con-
servative presidents and robbing banks, taking a few rich people
with you on your way out.
They are living the rhythm of a struggle to wrest a "something"
out of an everyday life saturated with dragging, isolating intensi-
ties of all kinds. More often than not, this is not really a willful
act but more like an undoing or a willing mutation that draws the
subject into the prepersonal zone of affect.
One thanksgiving, Danny spent hours handing out Bowers to
people on a busy street. It was like he was trying to jump start a
zone of contact in the world.
Another time, he tried to get a commercial coffee pot installed
at the VA hospital for the guys in long-term rehab, so they could
have their own pot and a place to gather. He called businesses until
he found a Mr. Garcia who was very happy to help. Mr. Garcia
donated a huge, used, stainless steel, commercial coffeemaker with
three burners. Danny borrowed a truck, picked up the coffee-
maker, drove it the ninety miles to the hospital and installed it.
There was a lot of paperwork. He called a couple of weeks later to
see if it was working out. A clerk said they weren't letting patients
use it because it was a used machine. He said well, if the patients
couldn't use it he was going to come pick it up. Then he started
making calls again to see if he could find a new machine someone
wanted to donate. He was careful to let Mr. Garcia know what
was going on. This is the kind of thing Alphonso Lingis calls trust.
"Trust is a break, a cut in the extending map of certainties and
probabilities. The force that breaks with the cohesions of doubts
and deliberations is an upsurge, a birth, a commencement. It has
its own momentum, and builds on itself ... like a river released
from a lock, swelling one's mind and launching one on the way.
... To have put trust in ... (someone) is to have to put still fur- tures in motherl2-:-~
ther trust in him. Once trust takes hold, it compounds itself."15 trips thrown togC"~:-~
~~ -
Living in the state of being "wide open," these guys can take on dom gathered UD~~~ ~_- :
all the good and bad in the world at one time or another. But this without irony. C;:- ~: I]

is not a state of chaos or sheer negation. It's more like a work of Graham on viti:-:-
initiating, calling out, instigating, inciting. Just to see what hap- quickening that :, ~~ - _lJ

pens. Even if it's not much. there is only ODe ::~ ~ JJI
. .. It is not you: = _ -
valuable it is, nor :-~:~ ;:-TID

do not even hF:: ~: -

to keep open an~ __
The surge that starts things. A cracking open, like a kernel that ... Thereisno':~~::c_ - Til1.

splits and becomes fecund. A crackling. A flashing up. queer, divine di,, __
~~:c~
Durability. The property of being able to survive and grow. ing and makes u, :-:-~:-
AustinMama.com is an award-winning Internet zine for hard-
working, sacrilegious mothers. Its art, poetry, and stories perform
parenting as an affective charge that pulls people into places and
forms that are far from predictable in the ideological standards of
"good" and "bad" parenting. After 9/n the fi~_:: 1
AustinMama.com is funny and intimate. It sponsors gatherings firefighters' bod:C",~-: :TJ::l

like a Mother's Day spent sitting on lawn chairs in the parking lot and letters. The,~-':: - _It

of a hip store drinking cocktails and watching Mommie Dearest. women flocked te :-: -=- :.

It drifts into identity practices - the naming and demonstrat- They went throu;:_ ~_ c
ing of what it is to be "a mother." But then it breaks up "mother- to marry other i:~:=;- -: -,"Ii
hood" into splintering affinities and differences (a common taste stress syndrome c-:-.,=, -
in books, a shared distance from mother-culture norms, a propen- plained about thC":~:: - :::::]
sity for patience or rage). Then it drifts back into a looser, more just doing their :::: -: TJ"
affective, form of "mother" closure-an instance of hope, a feel- from the twenn--:=:- -- -u
ing of connection to something big running through things. Or the lobby for ano:_-~:~-- ':Ill

frantic depression or burnout. they heard the bL:_~_:~ _ ::L:ll

The journal is eclectic. Its sensibilities range from wild adven- onds before it feL. ::-~: _

15Alphonso Lingis, Trust (Minneapolis: University of Minnesota 16 Agnes De l\L:~ -

Press, 2004), 65. 335·
 -:: :'=, Jut still fur- tures in motherland (kids vomiting all over you all night, road
:-:~. -=-= ''':':C cisitself." 15 trips thrown together on a whim) to inspirational words of wis-
-=-~,-::'-:: ~'..:.~.~s can take on dom gathered under the sign of "the mother," though not exactly
-=-.-. -:: :: -=--=-.cIher.
But this without irony. Once, for instance, someone quoted Martha
: :; :C'. =:-:: :ike a work of Graham on vitality: "There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a
~_': :C' see what hap- quickening that is translated through you into action and because
there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique
... It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how
valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions .... You
do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have
to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you .
. . . There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a
. '. C.-'-':CT,g up. queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us march-
E .,= = :: "..:.,:,.-i\'e
and grow. ing and makes us more alive.16
:r::::.~:c.:ernet zine for hard-
Ie" = :':-. -,-ndstories perform
• ' _: c -::cpIe into places and
.~ :' .'::'-::Jlogicalstandards of
After 9/II the figure of the firefighter became a vital one. The
.,:.::':':-:: :, sponsors gatherings firefighters' bodies held a charge. They were inundated with gifts
II[ - cc.-,-irs in the parking lot and letters. They went on "Thank You, America" bike tours, and
. ~. -:::la }dommie Dearest.
II[ ----~~~ women flocked to malls and parking lots just to get a look at them.
_ ,~".. -;,-~"-' in t>a and demonstrat- They went through divorces, drugs, suicides. Some left their wives
. -=-'-:::c
it breaks up "mother- to marry other firefighters' widows. They suffered post-traumatic
B: -=---::=:'-:::-::Eces
(a common taste stress syndrome and World Trade Center syndrome. They com-
Er::: :=-:..:.::ure norms, a propen- plained about the stress of their mythic status. They said they were
,.::-:c: c -,-ckinto a looser, more just doing their jobs. One man said he got the call to evacuate
r,- ~-,::l5lance of hope, a feel- from the twenty-first floor, but he and other firefighters stayed in
!lie _:-:-jng through things. Or the lobby for another thirty minutes, helping people get out, until
they heard the building coming down and jumped out thirty sec-
onds before it fell. He said it was horrible, all the bodies falling.

16 Agnes De Mille, Dance to the Piper (Boston: Little, Brown, 1952),

335·
He had no idea whether any of the others who had been in the Later, she visit, ~ ~... _
lobby survived. He said that the only person he saved that day was perched on the e~~~ . - -
himself and he did it by running like hell. ders down to his .=-:- ~:
time. Then the
slumps way into ~:.~:
sucked our of hi, ~: ::.
They sit, suspc.::. ~::.
Sometimes you can see death coming. There's a sad slackening of she turns to star;::. _~- - _
flesh and bone. The body shimmers as if shrouded. As if an energy The next day ~ -
that's moving through it is still vibrant but passing. ing has come an~ ~: -
One day her father says he wants to talk to her. He's seventy-
three and still working. It's the boom years of the stock market
and he's been investing all of his income for retirement for the
past few years. Suddenly there's money! It's as if he has some kind
of secret genius to smell our what's happening. He's been watching She remembers ~: ~
the stock market channel. He's taken wild chances. (Her mother, she was walking c'-'~: - -: - ::..-=~
on the other hand, remembers a spectacular failure or two. She the barbed wire :'::::.:- _. _':~
worries that he'll go crazy and lose everything.) ment at the borc~: :. j
Now there's money! She doesn't react much to this news. She's their children ,HS ....:z .-- -
not sure what to say and she doesn't know that this is the moment young man dove ::. :- ~
for congratulations and good-byes. out across the ,\'i~~ ~ -.-_
Her father says he finally has all his papers in order. Something before he turned -:c.:.
about a trust. He says he's been tired the last couple of days. Then breeze was bIO\\'i..-:c:
~.-~
the sad slackening comes. Suddenly his body is smaller, looser. It the bank.
seems blurred, as if she's seeing him through water. She wants to Then she sa,\, c..c::: . ~
shake her head and turn on more lights in the room as if there's and draw togethc .: c : _. :1
something wrong with her eyes. thecenterstarted~: -.-'~:_- _..',:
The next day he stays up late at the Christmas Eve party and others joined in. T:.~'~
then dies in his sleep on the living room pullout couch. what they were siL~·.~ :
A blanket falls over everything. A massive ice storm kills half Walking over Ii;::: ~- ::.c:
the trees on her father's beloved mountain. The men in the neigh- below were like a..-:--.. ~ .
borhood murmur about how the trees snapping off in rapid fire
all over the hills reminded them of enemy fire in Vietnam.
 -, = ~"ld been in the Later, she visits a friend who has just quit drinking again. He's
- ~ ~,::;l--;:i ,hat day was perched on the edge of an old couch, hanging his head and shoul-
ders down to his knees. He says he just can't start over again this
time. Then the slackening comes. The edges of his body blur. He
slumps way into the couch, as if half the water has suddenly been
sucked out of his body.
They sit, suspended, for a long time. Then he closes his eyes and
-' C • 1 ,1~ ;~lckening of she turns to stare out the window.
= _~C:~ .. -"csif an energy The next day he's back. Miserable and scared. But the slacken-
ing has come and gone.
!i .~_-: : = ~c:. He's seventy-
til'C .,.:: :h;: stock market
Hi- -:: :c,i:ement for the
~': ~

iI[;c ~,e~,assome kind

:-5 ::

I:iiCC ~ : '_~;: -:-ie',lx:en watching
....., _::.=~.l-.ces. Her mother,
. __1= ~l:lure or two. She
::-._;'--.,0 ,his news. She's
:.',1: :his is the moment
~~:::~, :~ order. Something
,~.. . ":,,,':':Juple of days. Then
= : ::." is smaller, looser. It
__;:~_-.yater.She wants to
. -' :he room as if there's
'::~.::stmasEve party and
-_ :::.":our couch.
-:...~':--eice storm kills half
t: . :=-~__-=nemen in the neigh-
~,l::>pingoff in rapid fire
. =::' - i.Ie in Vietnam.
She remembers the oddly vital scene at the border one day when
she was walking over the bridge into Nuevo Laredo. She expected
the barbed wire fencing all along the bridge and the gruff treat-
ment at the border crossing. But a scene of a young couple and
their children washing their clothes in the river surprised her. The
young man dove in. He swam down to the river bottom and then
out across the wide expanse of water, halfway to the U.S. bank
before he turned back. The water was sparkling in the sun. The
breeze was blowing the clothes dry on the one scraggly bush on
the bank.
Then she saw a group of about thirty men gather on the bank
and draw together in a semi-circle around a speaker. The man in
the center started to preach, cheering and clapping his hands. The
others joined in. They all started to sing. She couldn't quite hear
what they were singing but it was clearly inspirational.
Walking over the bridge to make the border crossing, the scenes
below were like a mirage. But real too.
 something had SL?: : '-
long time. It's nc,-:,:~
new. Here was f:--,:: ~ __'
sleep. Then the -
taryand brash f::::'::
Marfa is a small west Texas town filled with (mostly white) to innocent slue,:::: ~
ranchers, poor Mexican American farm workers, artists, and bor- an undercurren -: :: '-~:_, -
der patrol. She is sitting in a Mexican restaurant, listening to two beached.
older rancher couples talking about ranching troubles when three She walked cC'.": '
border patrolmen come in and sit down at the table next to her. paper and rub
There are border stories in national circulation about immigrants national "we." T',:: C_'
dying of thirst trying to cross the long, desolate stretch of desert eyes and the nei~:--,:_.'
that these guys patrol everyday. But these guys spend their lunch her inner ear. 1:1:: ::: , : ::1'11

hour today swapping sweet, redemptive stories of rescuing wild fleshy.Their eye, ":::" _':::::ll
animals on their patrol. Detailed, innocent stories. At first, she She chained :',:::" ' -
thinks this is some kind of crazy camouflage appliqued onto the out to be an obs::':'
surface of the things these guys must do and see in the course of friend were figh-:::,z
~ .
their day on border patrol. But then she realizes that the stories cut off her frieD"'-' ,'.
they're telling are about the animals they rescued that very day or emphasis. Pay e.-:::::' .
earlier in the week, as if this is what they actually spend a lot of field and her hee.",--
their day doing. She knows there are eccentric characters in Marfa up out of the gL _:-=-
whose lives revolve around sheltering rescued animals-there's the moving back aI'-e : :. - ..-''']
turtle man and the hawk woman and she is sure there are others- She took a de.' -:::
all with their trailers and yards and heads stuffed to overflowing bration. Fields c':, -
with injured animals of that one kind. And listening to the border horses were fran:::"'- - : _ •
patrolmen tell their animal rescue stories adds an odd and simple pueblo was full::' :-'
excess to the heavily scripted image of the militarized border full cloths and bod, -:=,' '
of atrocities. from the native ',':::C
kidnapped babies. -=-: -=-
water of the river. ,-
who then lurchec ~-=-:
tically giggling a:,c::- -
On 9/II she was living in Santa Fe. The talking heads were say- to have to know eL::' _
ing that everything had changed. But to her it seemed more like business.

I - ,,=--, ~~ i mostly white)
:.r-- •~:~=~s.anists, and bor-
a: -:"~'-":'::-'-::1L. listening to two
"':~- •. -.. "':-z ~~oubleswhen three
n. .,.._'-~ ~-:.=,able next to her.
__ ~_.'-~__,..."jO;E immigrants
CIC':: =-=".",e streIch of desert
! -- :cc ;-":'~'sspend their lunch
L c .~.~:es of rescuing wild
- .• =,...~"ories. At first, she
ilC ~c..:;e ,,??lic,ued onto the
~'C =-. -'-.-._=_ see in the course of
:== - c ~e~~=es,hat the stories
i: -- =- '-='::-..:.edthaI yery day or
;r .. c- • .--' . spend a lot of
I:: __ '="'.:~.'-.-:-:'aractersin Marfa
l!! __ ,,= s-.iT"als-there's the
i: _.''':'::-=
,he,..eare others-
It - . ~=- ':·..:.~ed :0 m'erflowing
rl': -".._,:.. ,:er-,ing to the border
!iii,. - _ '-=_=_, ,,::1 odd and simple
::: - -...•.
_= .:..:::arized border full
=- -- C ~~~:i::1gheads were say-
:. _-_=~
:, seemed more like
something had snapped into place that had been building for a
long time. It's not like the shock in the ordinary was anything
new. Here was the same rude awakening from an already fitful
sleep. Then the double-barreled reactions of ponderous commen-
tary and brash reaction. Then the dream of some kind of return
to innocent slumber. Everyone was on alert. But there was also
an undercurrent of deflation, like something buoyant had been
beached.
She walked down to the neighborhood coffee shop to get the
paper and rub shoulders with strangers in the intimate public of a
national "we." The brilliant yellow daisies and blue asters hurt her
eyes and the neighborhood stilllifes blurred against the buzzing of
her inner ear. The people at the coffee shop looked more tenderly
fleshy. Their eyes were stunned, their cheeks puBY and pink.
She chained herself to the grid. But staying tuned in turned
out to be an obsession shadowing her. She dreamed. She and her
friend were fighting soldiers in a big field. Suddenly one of them
cut off her friend's head. The dream action froze into a scene for
emphasis. Pay attention! Her friend's body was standing in the
field and her head was on the ground next to her as if it had grown
up out of the ground like a pumpkin. The eyes in the head were
moving back and forth, surprised and confused.
She took a day trip to Taos Pueblo's annual Saint's Day cele-
bration. Fields of high grasses blew softly in the breeze. Dogs and
horses were framed in quiet poses against blue mountains. The
pueblo was full of grinning visitors. Native men wearing loin-
cloths and body paint were running around snatching things
from the native vendors' tables. They ran into the pueblo houses,
kidnapped babies, and swung them, squealing, through the cold
water of the river. With buckets of water they splashed spectators,
who then lurched back into the crowd when they came near, fran-
tically giggling and trying to avoid eye contact. It felt good not
to have to know exactly what was happening. It was secret. Their
business.
 Inside the ceremonial circle, the religious leaders were waiting.
It was beginning to storm. There was thunder and lightning, a
cold rain and a fierce wind. Two strong men made the climb up a
sixty-foot pole in the middle of the circle. At the top was a slaugh-
tered sheep and two big, brilliantly colored sacks full of offerings.
One of the men stood precariously on the top of the pole, untied The ordinary is a ,:-,;: ~. c' -J;
an American flag from the back of his loincloth and held it in the It's also a senso:-c':: , - :.
wind over his head for a long moment, lightning flashing in the And a world 0:- :.':::"-
sky around him. It was amazing. Then he dropped the flag. One moves of intensie:: :.:::
of the religious specialists snatched it out of the wind before it hit She walks th.: '.:'.;:.-.: -'-:1
the ground. Who knew what it all "meant," but it was certainly an morning, laying c:', ~.;-.,~
event in itself The yards are '.-":'.'.::~: : -
A fantasy crossed her mind of staying here; of being whatever The mist ris.:s .,. ~ .
this place was about. A mystery charged with potential. ues of giant bu:l:'," : ~:: - c.' I.

doing with all d-:.esc:~:._,

around them as i:' :: :::.~. -::I
Up the street. :.:.:;::
The bird cries ~c;;:.:-
A few weeks later, she went to the big annual dance at Jemez Ariana snatc:'1c-=-:.
pueblo. At the entrance to the plaza, three weathered-looking The vagueness:: ::: .- - -
white men were running an Osama bin Laden dart game. They so much a deficic::.:-c
were selling to teenage native girls the chance to shoot darts into still moving e\'er. :.-,: _;-
bin Laden's face. Three darts for two dollars. They were shouting, seems to be pleLe:: ::,~:'
"Everyone's a winner!" They were handing out American flags. This is no mo:::::..'.':. '- :'A
She watched. They watched her watching. Then she started to be realized, bm a :-:-.:::.: : - c - .,'j

sidle up to ask them what this was all about. Their faces twisted something not q'-.:i:::..::~_ .,~
like they were used to trouble. She slid back away from them
without finishing her question and moved on, ttoubled in many
directions at once.

17 The notion 0:' ::.= .' --

is from Rajchmarc. ::-, ~
 ~;:s.'='ers
were waiting.
'" -=-- _::-~.=.::::-
and lightning, a
:c_ - ;:::-~ :-:~adeIhe climb up a
~~_~~ie LOp was a slaugh-
. ~_ . full of offerings.
. ' ~~~ ~ ~: ?:yc~ ,he pole, untied The ordinary is a thing that has to be imagined and inhabited .
and held it in the It's also a sensory connection. A jump.
!It:- ~ tiashing in the
~::-~:"'lg
;::-~ And a world of affinities and impacts that take place in the
- ~ ~c: ?pec ,he flag. One moves of intensity across things that seem solid and dead.
·.•.·xd before it hit
- -~~~-:.c: She walks the neighborhood with Ariana in the very early
;r:: - - ~ ::-.: ~ : L •·.•.·as certainly an morning, laying down imaginaries.
The yards are vulnerable in the predawn.
;"eing whatever
:;;c. -.:: ~-~:::::: IJr' The mist rises in a yard full of playful and scary cement stat-
£::.:. ... ~:-,::'c~e2~ial. ues of giant bunny rabbits and gargoyles. What are these people
doing with all these statues? They've built an ugly aluminum fence
around them as if to protect them from theft. Or something.
Up the street, a large plastic ball is lodged in a tree.
The bird cries begin.
iJC '':: dance at Jemez
s.::-.::- . .:cl Ariana snatches flowers off bushes and drops them in her lap.
LC-:. ~~c::::'.<.-ealhered-Iooking The vagueness or the unfinished quality of the ordinary is not
r;.c . - _a'::'::::1dan game. They so much a deficiency as a resource, like a fog of immanent forces
_.: :.-..:.::-.:e~o shoot darts into still moving even though so much has already happened and there
!I'": •.. ~, -::I:.e~:
\wre shouting, seems to be plenty that's set in stoneY
ti-~=-::-.; :.:~ _-unerican flags. This is no utopia. Not a challenge to be achieved or an ideal to
_ , ..::-~,::. -=t,en she started to be realized, but a mode of attunement, a continuous responding to
. - : .:~.-::heir taces twisted something not quite already given and yet somehow happening .
.:. .-.:.:i 2.\':a\· from them
it - ~.:. :::-.. uoubled in many

17 The notion of the unfinished quality of the ordinary as a resource

is from Rajchman, The Deleuze Connections.

 People are
they mean is tha ~~::-~::
know where to ,~.:.~~:
a beginning dc~o:: "
tangles of assoc:.:.~~:~,
This book is abom how moving forces are immanent in scenes, passing, gestura.. :~-,--~
subjects, and encounters, or in blocked opportunities or the ba- inchoate bm .:::~ :=-'--
nality of built environments. ways of attend:-.; :: :- -
It's also about the need for a speculative and concrete attune- gestures not tc",~':':~ :"-. _.L.-r
ment. It suggests that thought is not the kind of thing that flows of knowinao' \\- .~..,
.. :-. .. , -
inevitably from a given "way of life," but rather something that question; an c t:::~:
takes off with the potential trajectories in which it finds itself in Ariana is to·...:: ~,:
the middle. "My turn! J{: ~...:::-
It doesn't mean to come to a finish. It wants to spread out into won't give her ::-.= ::.L.~:o
too many possible scenes with too many real links between them. the eat's litter:::
It leaves me-my experiment-with a sense of force and texture She has no id::.:.
and the sure knowledge that every scene I can spy has tendrils that she's tr<:-.Z :
stretching into things I can barely, or not quite, imagine. But I al- series of smi: ::::'.
ready knew that. The world is still tentative, charged, overwhelm- self withom ~=--:" ":" .

ing, and alive. This is not a good thing or a bad thing. It is not my intensity, and :-.z= ~ .. -':1J
view that things are going well but that they are going. I've tried solutions ha·::: :: ::
to let go of pat answers I never exactly believed anyway in an effort but there's .. _. : ..UJ
to stay in the middle of things. An impulse ~':'.~.,:,:
~ ~ . - ·:.lliE
Ordinary affect is a surging, a rubbing, a connection of some These imy..:.:o=: - -_" -
kind that has an impact.18 It's transpersonal or prepersonal- not ~ :,-.:- ,=:- _~1G
impulses to\~.'.:.:
about one person's feelings becoming another's but about bodies beginning, iu': ':=~.:- -
literally affecting one another and generating intensities: human an ordinary S2.~"':=~:=;:
bodies, discursive bodies, bodies of thought, bodies of water. 19

18 Anna Tsing'sFriction: An Ethnography of Global Connection (Prince-

ton, N.].: Princeton University Press, 2005) argues that the awkward,
messy, unequal, unstable, surprising, and creative qualities of encoun-
ters and interconnection across difference should inform our models of
cultural production.
19 See Deleuze and Guattari, A Thousand Plateaus.
 People are always saying to me, "I could write a book." What
they mean is that they couldn't and they wouldn't want to. Wouldn't
know where to start or how to stop. The phrase is a gesture toward
a beginning dense with potential. They have stories, substories,
tangles of association, accrued layers of impact and reaction. The
:'C:. ~:: ~mmanent in scenes, passing, gestural claim of "I could write a book" points to the
lC' . .:. . ::,::,onunities or the ba- inchoate but very real sense of the sensibilities, socialities, and
ways of attending to things that give events their significance. It
e.:-_:':.':: and concrete attune- gestures not toward the clarity of answers but toward the texture
CT ":: of thing that flows of knowing. What a life adds up to is still a problem and an open
l: = _~ =-lther something that question; an object of curiosity.
:,- .~_·,~'hichit finds itself in Ariana is four now. She wants to do things for herself She yells
"My turn! My turn! Not-you-only-ME" when she's afraid that I
"':'~IS spread out into
La
won't give her the chance to try to read a book herself or to clean
t:C.,' :::~ links between them.
the eat's litterbox.Then she shifts into focus with a dry little cough.
C::~':: of force and texture She has no idea whether she can do it, or even what it is, exactly,
'lr ::~,:: I can spy has tendrils that she's trying to do. My mother, Claire, is recovering from a
:: .:.:,.:ile,
imagine. But I al- series of small strokes. She, too, sets off to do something for her-
charged, overwhelm-
11::: :~:."::.
self without knowing whether she can. Simple things take time,
ll=~ ,: .:.::,adthing. It is not my
intensity, and ingenuity. Some things have to be sidestepped. Or
r __...'.:.:
:l-:.e-.-
are going. I've tried solutions have to be invented. There are deadening frustrations
:::. :.:.. e'-ed anyway in an effort but there's also a central, palpable pleasure in the state of trying.
An impulse toward potentiality.
t_: . ,~.:',a connection of some These impulses-Ariana's and Claire's-to "do it myself" are
E;':' ::', -or prepersonal-not impulses toward the speculative. Like this book, they're only a
,ilL':: '---.:. :ner's but about bodies beginning, just scratching the surface. But that's what matters in
:-,' :::.:.:ingintensities: human an ordinary saturated with affect's lines of promise and threat.
£ .. _:.l-:.cbodies ofwater.19

!;t,-' ~.-7 bal Connection (Prince·

. : : ' 2.:guesthat the awkward,
:~:lIi\-equalities of encoun-
E' .: : ,~:.lidinform our models of
Barthes, Rolanc .. c. ~
--. s/Z: "-i: ~ ..
---. "The -::-:
..: ~
Stills." TJ,e ~~,:
Representa,,:.· ;:
[ornia Press. =:
Benjamin, \,',,;::::
lin. Camb::.::.::::
Berlant, Lau::::.
---. "Inrr: '::'_::..
versity of C:-,. =.::.::, ,

and La p;.;;.

---. 71.'2 (~:.

Citizens;"'; = _-- co,

---, "Slc~.~.-
_ ~ _
Deleuze, Gill::;. a: ~ :::,
phrenia. \0 = -:-: :.0
MinneapoL'.
--.AT.
Trans. Bria.:-;;
1987.
De Mille, Agne; ..
Hacking, Ian. P,
Memory. Pr::,::::::.
Harding, Susan. a.-,~'
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Tramparenc:1 .:;
World Orde;. ::~
Duke Univer':-:-· ~:::
Hosseini, Khalec. ~
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"Ordinary Afficts is an extraordinary work of finely observed aspecrs of everyday life in contem-
porary America. It is a beauriful book about waking life, being awakened to life, and the fear
and desire rippling on the surface of people's ordinary movements through space. Radical yet
familiar, it is a profoundly pedagogical book." - LAU R E N B E R LAN T, author of me Queen of
America Goes to Washington City: Essays on Sex and Citizenship

"Full of resonating stories, encounters quirky in their unapologetic ordinariness, and murmur-
ing objects, this book takes me into the thick world of the everyday in the U.S.A. Intent on
critique or explanation, too many scholars hardly know how to experience, much less think,
such worlds, and so regularly give them Big Names like Capitalism and Modernity and Neo-
liberalism. Ordinary Afficts sounds the depths and shallows of intimate, particular worlds cru-
cial to finding our way in the tidal basin of contemporary culture. Here are accounts of lives in
plain sight, but only if we cultivate the deceptively hard pracrices of slow looking and off-stage
hearing. Kathleen Stewart touches the marrow of things by nurturing an oblique and un rushed
sort of attention, one alert to the bio-luminescence generated in ordinary living taken seriously,
without which we are in the dark in politics, philosophy, and cultural theory."
-D 0 N N A HA RAW A Y, University of California, Santa Cruz
''Anything but ordinary, this book rewrites the social sciences from top to bottom through its
bleak and beautiful honesty as to the human condition and the conditional nature of our lan-
guage and concepts. How the author has been able to step outside of the bubble we call reality
so as to render reality is a miracle, yet one we might all aspire to on reading this."
-M I C H A E L TAU S S I G, Columbia University

Ordinary Afficts is a singular argument for attention to the affective dimensions of everyday life
and the potential that animates the ordinary. Known for her focus on the poetics and politics
oflanguage and landscape, the anthropologist Kathleen Stewart ponders how ordinary impacts
create the subject as a capacity to affect and be affected. In a series of brief vignettes combining
storytelling, close ethnographic detail, and critical analysis, Stewart relates the intensities and
banalities of common experiences and strange encounters, half-spied scenes and the lingering
resonance of passing events. While most of the instances rendered are from Stewart's own life,
she writes in the third person in order to reflect on how intimate experiences of emotion, the
body, other people, and rime inextricably link us to the outside world. Stewart refrains from
positing an overarching system-whether it's called globalization or neoliberalism or capital-
ism-to describe the ways that economic, political, and social forces shape individual lives.
Instead, she begins with the disparate, fragmented, and seemingly inconsequential experiences
of everyday life to bring attention to the ordinary as an integral site of cultural politics.

KAT H LEE N S T E WAR T is Associate Professor of Anthropology and Director of the Americo
Paredes Center for Cultural Studies at the University of Texas, Austin.

cover photo: Nic Nicosia, Real Pictures #II, 1988.

Courtesy the artist and Dunn and Brown Contemporary, Dallas, TX.