The Banjo Player’s

Brother
an interactive story by Mark White copyright Mark White
2009

Grammar Focus

(relative clauses, passive voice, conditionals, present

perfect continuous tense, past perfect tense, idioms and
clichés, embedded questions, word families, ed/ing adjectives,
participle phrases, parallel phraes, deixis, authorial voice)

Content
Prologue

1. Louisiana
2. The Robbery
3. The Prison Break
4. The Flight out of America
5. The Trade Mission
6. The Mystery of the Missing Cult Members
7. The Bolivian Veal Sausage Scandal
8. The CIA Cover-up and the Balsa Wood Boat
9. The Charismatic religious Cult Leader in Vanuatu
10. The Conversation on the Beach and the Embassy
Cocktail Party
11. Kiwi Secret Agent, Sean Connery and the Plot to Kill L.
Ron Hubbard

Epilogue
 Instructions
Student A read the text one sentence at a time
Student B say “Uh-huh” if you understand, one more time or
“What does…mean?” if you don’t and answer the question, if it
is a question. Pay attention to the distinction between a
question and a statement. Stop at any point in the story and
chat, discuss tangents, or express your own thoughts, opinions
and feelings.

Prologue
Down in New Orleans many years ago a young African
American woman gave birth to twins. What were they named?
The woman died in childbirth but the twin boys survived
though they were separated at birth and sent to two different
orphanages. Where were the orphanages located? Eventually
the boys were both adopted but they were raised in different
homes and neither of them knew of the existence of the other.
Why were they not told that they were twins?

One of the boys was raised by an extremely wealthy family.

The other one was fostered by a simple working family. Would
the wealthy family necessarily have provided the best
education for their foster child? Were the boys raised in the
city or in the countryside? One of the boys was taught to play
the banjo. Was the other one given any musical instruction?
Were either of them taught to play the piano? What kind of
musical education were you given?

The banjo player grew up and graduated high school. Was he

awarded any prizes at his high school graduation ceremony?
He was inducted into the military and sent to war in the Middle
East. Was he drafted or did he volunteer? Are people who
voluntarily join the military attracted by monetary incentives?
The banjo player came back and got a job in New Orleans.
Where was he employed and what was his job description? The
young banjo player got romantically involved with a local artist
and led a happy life.

The other brother was drawn into a life of crime. He became

involved with a gang and robbed banks for a living. How many
banks are robbed every day in the United States? Are ATM
thefts treated by the courts in the same way as other bank
robberies? Should they be regarded as less serious? What
proportion of robberies are armed robberies? What proportion
of arrested suspects are charged? What percentage of them
are tried? How many of them are found guilty? How many of
them are actually innocent? Is the jury system just? Are all
legal systems imperfect?

Of the two brothers, one of them was raised in an atmosphere

of love and affection. Was he given everything that he desired?
The other one was not loved and nurtured much. He was
exploited and abused. Was he abused physically? Was he
sexually abused? As the two brothers grew up, they were
confronted with different obstacles and faced with different
challenges. Were either of them handicapped by physical
disabilities of any type? They were given different
opportunities to do different things and they did not turn out
exactly the same. One of them became a banjo player. The
other one became the owner of a banjo case, which contained
a gun, which he used to earn his living as an armed robber.

If you were informed that you had a twin that you did not know
about, would you want to meet up with that brother or sister?
Would it make a difference if it was a brother or a sister?

Should people who have not been given a decent upbringing

be held responsible for mistakes that they make later in life?
What is the cutoff point at which a person should be held
responsible for his or her actions, in terms of age? In the
debate over whether a greater influence is exerted by
environment or innate psychological character, where do you
stand? Has the polarization of the argument into “nature” OR
“nurture” oversimplified the issue?

Are people who have studied music more or less inclined to

commit bank robberies than people who have not been given
any musical instruction? Could the introduction of free piano
lessons for all children be a solution to all of the social and
economic problems, which the United States is beset by at the
current moment? Is your country plagued by social inequality
and injustice? What other problems beset your country? Have
you ever been given the opportunity to handle a banjo? How
are the strings on a banjo adjusted? How is a banjo tuned? Is it
tuned in the same way that a guitar is tuned?

1. Louisiana

It is a hot sweaty day in New Orleans. A large woman in a long

flowing dress is crossing the street. She is carrying an artist's
easel under one arm and a bag under the other arm. What is in
the bag? A painting is strapped to the easel. It is a portrait of a
man. Does the woman usually paint portraits?

The woman is on the way to her studio. She is going to meet

her lover. Is the painting, that the woman is carrying under her
arm, an oil? Are the man, who is depicted in the portrait and
the man, who she is going to meet, the same person?

The woman's lover is a banjo player. Have you ever held a

banjo in your hands and plucked at the strings? Have you ever
strummed a guitar?

There is a man standing on the corner. He has just got off the
bus. How long has he been standing on the corner? The man is
wearing a colourful shirt and he is carrying a musical
instrument case. Does the case that the man is carrying
contain a musical instrument?

The man who is standing on the corner bears an uncanny

resemblance to the man who the woman is going to meet.
When she sees the man who is standing on the corner, she
thinks that it is the man who she is going to meet. She goes up
to him and she says something to him. What is it that she says
to him?

The man ignores her as if he has not heard what she has said.
The woman repeats what she said. Does she say exactly the
same thing again or does she change the words a little? The
man looks at her and tells he to go away. He says that he does
not know her. He tells her to go away and quit bothering him. If
somebody who you did not know came up to you in the street
and started to talk to you, would you ignore her or tell her to
go away or what?

The woman thinks that the man who is standing on the corner
is the same person as the man who she is going to meet in her
studio. She wants to know what the man is doing standing on
the corner ignoring her when he is supposed to be meeting her
in five minutes. She loses her temper when he refuses to talk
to her. Would you lose your temper if a person who you were in
a romantic relationship with refused to talk to you? The
woman gets even angrier when the man tells her to get lost.
Would you become irritated if somebody told you to get lost?

The woman insists that the man who is standing on the corner
talk to her. She is sure that he is just pretending not to
recognise her and she is getting angrier and angrier. Suddenly
she starts to shout. Would you shout at a friend if he or she
pretended not to recognise you?

The man who is standing on the corner turns and glares at the
woman. A couple of passersby stop and stare at the two of
them. The man turns and looks at the people who are staring
at him and the woman. He asks them what the hell they are
looking at. Do the two people hurry quickly on or stand up for
their right to be in the street and look at whatever is in front of
their eyes. If a guy in the street asked you what you were
staring at, would you defend your right to look at anything you
like in a public place or would you walk quickly away?

Suddenly a car turns the corner and pulls over to the kerb. The
man who is standing on the corner walks quickly away from
the woman who is holding the easel and the painting and
hurries towards the car that has pulled over to the kerb. Does
the woman who is holding the painting follow the man? Does
she call out to him? Are the onlookers still in earshot? Are they
still in sight?

The man who is carrying the musical instrument case gets into
the car. There are two other men in the car. One of them is
sitting in the front. The other one is sitting in the back. Is the
one who is sitting in the back sitting behind the driver or
behind the front passenger seat? The car drives off. The man
who is holding the musical instrument case and sitting in the
front passenger seat says something. Does he say it to the
man who is driving or to the man who is sitting in the back
seat? What is it that he says?

Meanwhile on the street corner, the woman who is holding the

painting and the easel continues on her way. She heads for her
studio. When she arrives, the man who she is expecting to
meet, has already arrived. He is sitting in her studio plucking
the strings of his banjo. He is also wearing a colourful shirt
although it does not have exactly the same pattern as the shirt
that the man on the street corner was wearing. Is the shirt
that the man in the studio is wearing the same colour as the
shirt that the man on the corner was wearing?

The woman, who is an artist, accuses the man who is playing

the banjo of ignoring her. The man, who is her lover, denies
having ignored her. He says he has been sitting in the studio
for ages, which he has. How long has he been sitting in the
studio? How long has he been playing the banjo? He tries to
find out why the woman who he loves is so furious. Why is she
angry?

The man who plays the banjo is not able to get the woman who
paints to calm down. She starts to shout at him and he leaves.
He wanders the streets. He is upset. Why is he upset? He goes
into a bar that he has never been to before. He sits in the
corner and starts to drink heavily. The barman tries to talk to
him but he is unwilling to talk to anybody. How come he
doesn’t want to talk to anybody?

Meanwhile back at the studio the woman, who is the lover of

the man who is sitting in the bar getting wasted, is painting. Is
the painting that she is working on the same as the one that
she was carrying through the street earlier in the day? Does it
cross her mind that the man who she saw in the street might
not have been the man who is her lover and that she might
have been mistaken?
2. The Robbery

It is late in the afternoon in a dimly lit bar in a quiet part of

New Orleans. A group of drinkers are sitting on barstools at the
bar. How long have they been sitting there? A few other
customers are playing slot machines in the corner. Do the guys
who are sitting at the bar know the guys who are playing the
slot machines? Does the barman know all the guys who are
playing slot machines?

Suddenly two men rush in and hold the place up. One of the
men is holding a pistol. The other man is holding a sawn-off
shotgun. The man who is holding the shot-gun is wearing a
colourful shirt. What does the man who is holding the pistol
have on?

The man who is holding the sawn-off shotgun points it at the

customers, who are playing the slot machines and tells them
to put their hands up. The man who is holding the pistol tells
the drinkers who are sitting at the bar to get over into the
corner with the people who are playing the slot machines.
Then he points the pistol at the guy who is working behind the
bar and he tells him to empty the till. Does the guy who is
working behind the bar empty the till immediately?

Suddenly there is a loud noise. The shotgun has gone off. The
man who is wearing the colourful shirt has fired it
accidentally. He has fired it into the crowd of drinkers who are
standing with their hands up. Many of them are injured.

The guy who is holding the pistol asks the guy who is holding
the shotgun what happened. The guy who is holding the
shotgun says that it went off accidentally. One of the men who
has been shot is lying on the floor. He has been shot in the
stomach. Another man is slumped against the wall. Where has
he been shot?

Three other people have been hit with pellets from the
shotgun. One of them is leaning on a slot machine, one of them
is sitting on the floor and one of them is still standing. Where
have they been hit? Another man has tripped and fallen onto
the floor. Has he been shot? How many people have been hurt
altogether? Has anybody been killed?

The barman has stopped emptying the till. Suddenly the guy
who is holding the pistol loses his cool. He starts to shoot at
everybody. Then he grabs the money from the till but he spills
most of it on the floor. The two robbers run out. A third man is
waiting in the getaway car. The two robbers jump in and drive
off.

A few minutes later the cops turn up and soon after an

ambulance arrives. Then a journalist turns up. One of the cops
interviews one of the survivors. What does the survivor tell the
police officer?
The police get descriptions of the robbers and they start to
comb the town looking for suspects. Two of them go into a bar
where they find a man wearing a colourful shirt, sitting in a
corner with a banjo case at his feet. He is completely blotto.
The cops assume the man wearing the colourful shirt is the
same guy as the man who held up the bar with the sawn-off
shotgun. The suspect is arrested and taken in. Is he beaten
up? Is he given anything to eat?
The banjo player is thrown into a cell, where a couple of other
prisoners are lounging on bunks. How many of them, and what
are they accused of? Have any of them been charged?

Later that night the banjo player is questioned by two police

officers. How long is he questioned for? Is he given access to a
lawyer? Do the cops play “good cop, bad cop”? After
questioning the man is thrown into the cell again and locked
up. The following day there is a line-up. Several suspects are
paraded before one of the survivors. The banjo player is
identified as one of the guilty men. He is taken away and he is
charged. He is not granted bail. How long is it before he is
tried?

The day of the trial arrives. The banjo player is taken to the
courtroom. He is led in. Who is he led in by? Is he handcuffed?
He is taken to the dock. He is given the oath. What is the oath?
Does he put his hand on the bible while he is swearing to tell
the truth?

The charge is read. What exactly is the accused charged with?

A jury is selected. What is the composition of the jury? The
prosecutor’s case is heard by the judge. Several witnesses are
called to the witness stand. How many witnesses are called?

Later on the case for the defence is presented. Are any

witnesses for the defence called? The prisoner wants to see
his lover and ask her to be his alibi but she has left town. She
has gone to the countryside to paint. Would she be able to
provide an alibi for the banjo player?

After all of the evidence has been heard, the jury withdraws.
How long does it take to reach a verdict? The banjo player is
found guilty of murder. The following day he is sentenced. What
prison term is he given? After the sentence is read, the man is
led away. He is put into a prison van and he is transported to
the State prison. Is it located in the city? Are prisons usually
located in urban areas?

At the State Penitentiary, the man is told to strip. He is

searched. Is his head shaved? What colour uniform is he given?
After he has been inducted the man is shown to his cell. He is
locked up with another man. What has the other man been
found guilty of? Is he an innocent man? The banjo player is an
innocent man. He languishes in his cell. How often is he fed?
How often is he allowed to exercise? Is he allowed visitors?
3. The Prison Break (passives, conditionals, phrasal verbs,
idioms, relative clauses)

Two guys are sitting in a prison cell. Are they in for armed
robbery? If you were given a life sentence would you try to
escape? In the next cell, two other inmates are doing time as
well. One of them, who happens to be a banjo player, has been
convicted of murder and given a life sentence. He is actually
an innocent man and the whole thing is a case of mistaken
identity. The other one is in for murder as well. He is in for
murdering the pedophile, who kidnapped and assaulted his
daughter and several other children in his neighborhood
church group. If you were the judge, what sentence would you
have given him?

Meanwhile in another part of the state, an armed robber, who

bears an uncanny resemblance to the imprisoned banjo player,
is feeling remorseful. If you were an armed robber who had
killed people, would you feel remorse? The robber has started
attending a local church. How long has he been attending it?
He believes that he has been saved. He has repented all of his
sins. He has seen the light and he has become a committed
Christian. He thinks that atheists will be burned in hell. What is
an atheist? Have you ever met anybody who believes that
people who do not believe in God will be burned in hell? The
ex-robber becomes a leader of his local church group. He does
a lot of community work and he is praised by the local
minister. His name is mentioned around the community and he
is spoken of highly by community leaders. He is invited to join
a local conservative political group. Is he charged any money
for the privilege of joining?

While the ex-armed robber is rising to prominence in his

community, the man who is being punished for his crime, is
languishing in a cell. Would you feel like giving up if you found
yourself in a situation like that? Do you believe that one should
never give up? The banjo picker is popular among the other
inmates because he can lift their spirits with his music but
unfortunately he is not allowed to play his banjo. How would
you feel if you were able to play a musical instrument but were
not allowed to touch one? How would you react to a situation
where you owned one but were not given the privilege of
touching it except on special occasions? One of these, such
special occasions, when the banjo picker who is in jail for
murder is allowed to actually play his instrument, is coming up.
Thanksgiving is approaching and traditionally the Governor is
lenient to the cons around that day. Sometimes prisoners are
even pardoned on that day. If you were imprisoned for a crime
that you did not commit, would you try to appeal the
conviction or accept your lot and serve your time? Would the
routine of prison life appeal to you in a strange way? If you did
not have to worry about when to eat and when to go to sleep
and when to get up, would it be strangely comforting to you to
have all of those decisions taken out of your hands? Would you
be prepared to work as a prison guard? Is prison a punishment
or a place of punishment?

The banjo picker who is in for life cannot take it any more. He
longs for freedom. He is tired of being locked up. How long has
he been locked up? He decides to bust out. He has been asked
to play his banjo at the concert on Thanksgiving. Routine will
be relaxed on the big day and there will be lots of
opportunities for him to make a break for it. Would you make a
break for it, if you were in his situation? Will the concert be
attended by people from outside the prison? The banjo player’s
cellmate is not interested in doing a runner with him. He is
prepared to serve his time and wait for an appeal to come
through. Would you be the type to serve your time and wait for
an appeal to come through or would the lure of freedom be so
strong that you felt that you had to make a break for it?

While the banjo player plans his escape, the armed robber, who
has converted and joined the local church, has been attending
political rallies. He has joined a political party. He has met a
lot of people and he has been invited to run as a candidate in
the next election. Is he likely to be elected? How come? The
new candidate is given access to large amounts of money. He
is flown to other parts of the country and he is introduced to
important people in the party. Is he asked his opinion on
abortion? Is he asked his opinion on involvement in overseas
wars? Is he invited to give his views on the crisis in the Middle
East? Is he made privy to any party secrets? Is he introduced
to people in the gun lobby? The day of the election
approaches. Huge political rallies are held. They are attended
by thousands of people. Speeches are given. Promises are
made. A speech is delivered by the new candidate, who looks
like the banjo player. Is it well received?

Meanwhile in the prison where the banjo player is being held,

the big day rolls around. It is Thanksgiving. The inmates are
given a special meal with turkey and roast vegetables. Are
they allowed to consume alcohol? Are they granted extra
tobacco privileges? Some ballet dancers are brought into the
jail to perform for the inmates. Music is played and dances are
performed. Which ballet is performed? The banjo picker
performs with some other prisoners and then slips backstage
and mingles with the ballet dancers who have been hired to
entertain the inmates and raise their level of cultural
awareness. Can crime be prevented by raising the general
level of education and social awareness? Is crime caused by
poverty? The anguished banjo player makes his run for
freedom. He dresses as a ballerina and escapes by hiding
himself and leaving on a bus with the other performers. Why is
the bus not searched as it leaves the prison? It drives out of
the prison but suddenly breaks down one and a half miles
away. How many kilometers are there in a mile? The
passengers on the bus are ordered to get off by the driver. The
banjo-playing ballerina emerges from the bus and finds himself
in a car-park outside a shopping mall. A political rally is taking
place. He wanders towards the stage feeling dazed at his
newfound freedom. Suddenly he finds himself staring at a man
who looks exactly like him. The man is addressing a political
rally. If you came upon a person who resembled you in every
respect would you feel impelled to talk to him? Has the bus
been fixed? Has the prison escape been noticed by the
authorities?
4. The Flight out of America (passives, relative clauses,
conditionals, pres perfect )

A banjo player, who is dressed as a ballet dancer, has just

escaped from prison. He is at a political rally. He has just been
confronted with the sight of a man who bears an uncanny
resemblance to him. Would you feel dazed and confused if that
happened to you? Feeling dazed and confused he allows the
crowd to push him this way and that. He allows himself to be
drawn along by the throng. He lets things happen. Are you the
kind of person who lets things happen or do you try to control
your own destiny? He lets things flow. Are you the type to let
things flow or do you try to have a hand in controlling things?

Suddenly he finds himself at some kind of party and somebody

hands him a drink. He knocks it back and he is handed another
one. If you knock them back one after the other, do you get
wasted? If you get wasted, do you experience a dramatic
personality change or do you pretty much remain the same
person, however much you drink? As the party winds down, the
banjo player, who is an escaped convict, picks up a coat and
puts it on over his ballerina costume. He makes his way out of
there and finding some loose change in the pocket of the coat,
gets a bus across town and heads for his girlfriend’s studio.
When he gets there he finds that the window has been left
open. He climbs in and looks around. There are pictures on the
wall but they have not been worked on in ages. There is a bed
but it has not been slept in for some time. There is milk in the
fridge. Has it gone off? There is bread on a table. Has it gone
mouldy? What other signs are there that the studio has not
been occupied for some time?

The guy, who is still in love with his girlfriend, though he has
not seen her for some time, lies down on the couch. He really
misses her. Is he being hunted by the police? Has his escape
been noticed? He does not know what to do next? Does he
think of giving himself up? Would you turn yourself in, if you
were him? The banjo player dozes off and dreams that he is
being cradled in the arms of his lover.

Suddenly there is a knock at the door. Somebody enters. It is

the artist’s sister. She is happy to see the banjo player. She has
always like him, because he is basically a good man. She tells
him that her sister has joined a weird religious cult and gone
to Bolivia. Where is Bolivia located? She, the artist, thinks that
the world is going to end in 2012. The sea level is going to rise
and the world is going to be flooded. The cult members are
going to survive in the high country in the Andes. If you
thought that the world was going to end, would you try to
survive or accept your fate?

The banjo player wonders what to do. Finally he decides to call

an old buddy from the military, who owes him one. The guy
helps him to get a fake passport. What name does he take?
How much money is required to do something like that? Is a
visa required to enter Bolivia? The banjo player manages to
borrow some money and he flies to La Paz. Is La Paz located
on the coast or in the mountains? Is Bolivia landlocked? Which
countries is it bordered by? The girlfriend’s sister has given
the banjo player the address of the religious commune, which
she has moved to. Why is it located in the mountains?

While the escaped banjo player who is carrying a fake

passport is flying over central America, the man who looks like
him is running for office back in Louisiana. On what date is the
election held? He is elected and he becomes a politician. If you
were elected to political office, would you be easily corrupted?
The politician is approached by a man, who represents a large
construction corporation. The man who represents the
construction corporation tries to bribe the politician. Are
politicians easily bribed? The corporate representative wants
the politician to help further the corporation’s interests in
South America.

The plane, which is carrying the banjo player, lands in La Paz.

He goes through customs and immigration and he spends a
night in a hotel. Is the hotel reasonably priced? The next day
he takes a bus out of the city and into the highlands. Is his bag
loaded onto the roof? Is he given a window seat? Is he allowed
to sit on the roof of the bus? The bus travels for a whole day
then the man spends the night in a provincial city. The next
day his journey is delayed. The bus has broken down. How long
does it take for it to be repaired? Does the mechanic have to
wait for parts to be sent from La Paz?

A few days later the banjo player manages to reach the area of
the weird religious cult. He hikes up into the mountains where
the cult’s headquarters has been constructed. He finds a
village, which has been constructed of stone. Has dry stone
construction been used? He sleeps in the village that night. Is
he asked for any money? Is he treated well?

The next day he walks into the commune. He is reunited with

his girlfriend. She has married another member of the group.
How long has she been living there? How long has she been
co-habiting with her new partner? She is not happy to see the
banjo player. She thinks that he is a liar and a thief and a
murderer. The two of them argue. She tells him that she is
married now. He tells her that the marriage is not recognized
in the US. She says that it does not matter. He begs her to
come away with him. Are foreign marriages recognized in the
US? Are foreign university degrees recognized in the US?

The guy is invited by the cult leader to stay in a large

communal building. That night food is shared and songs are
sung. Are any drugs taken? The principles of the cult are
explained to the banjo player. Ancient prophecies are revealed
to him. Is he invited to participate in any ceremonies? Is he
invited to join the group? Is he given a comfortable place to
sleep?

Meanwhile back in the US, a politician has agreed to represent

the interests of a US construction company in Bolivia. A flight
to Bolivia is booked. Is it paid for by the US government or the
construction corporation?
5. The Trade Mission (passives, conditional, relative
clauses)

A plane flies from Miami to La Paz. Three US politicians are

aboard. How long have they been in office? What kind of food
are they given? Are they served any drinks? Are they briefed on
the local political and economic situation en route? Are they
briefed on the local culture? Are they given any lessons in
Bolivian Spanish? Are they told anything about the language
and culture of the place? They are on a trade mission.

If you were a politician, would you try to learn about the local
culture when you were on overseas trips or do you think you
would be too busy to do that? Are all of the politicians required
to show their passports at immigration? Are any of their bags
examined by customs? What colour are the uniforms that are
worn by the customs officials? Are the uniforms that are worn
by the customs officials the same colour as the ones that are
worn by the immigration officials?

The trade mission is met by an official from the US embassy.

Are they taken to the embassy or to a hotel? How are they
entertained that night? The following day the politicians are
met by a delegation from the Bolivian Water Board. There is a
problem with water in Bolivia. The infrastructure is not well-
developed and the water is contaminated. The Bolivian
government needs help from the American government to
increase the efficiency of the water supply system. This is just
one of a number of infrastructure projects that the Bolivian
government needs help with.

The US officials meet with various Bolivian public officials.

They brief them on the aid, which can be made available to
them by the US government. All the talks are successful. Are
any of the Bolivian public officials given any bribes for political
favors by the US trade delegation?

One of the US politicians bears an uncanny resemblance to

another American who lives in Bolivia. The US politician flies
out of La Paz after three days but the other American, who
happens to be an escaped convict, remains there. What crime
was the escaped convict convicted of?

The escaped convict, who happens to be a banjo player, is

living in a village high up in the mountains. He has come to
Bolivia to track down his missing girlfriend, who happens to be
a very talented artist. The girlfriend, who has joined a weird
religious cult, which teaches that the world is going to end in
three years, has married the leader of the cult.

The banjo player, who has followed his girlfriend down to

Bolivia, has tried to persuade her to come away with him but
she has refused. He has been kicked out of the community and
he has been forced to live in an abandoned shack in a village,
which is located a day’s walk below the isolated spot where
the religious community has made its headquarters. Has he
been allowed to go back to the community to visit his ex-
partner?

The banjo player has run out of money. Has he been offered
any help by the indigenous people, who live in the village
below the isolated religious community? Has he been forced to
go hungry? Have you ever been forced to go hungry?

The banjo player is taken care of by some indigenous people.

He learns some of their language, which is called Quechua. He
is told that he should stay away from the place, where the
religious community is located, because the whole area is
inhabited by the ghosts of the ancient people from that region.
The place is haunted. Is your house haunted? If you lived in a
haunted house, would you make friends with the ghost or try to
get rid of it?

The American banjo player, who does not own a banjo at the
moment finally decides to go into the city. He has no money so
he is forced to walk for several days, and then he is picked up
by some farmers in a truck. He has learned a lot of Spanish by
now and he is able to have a basic conversation with the
farmers. They are cattle farmers. How many of them are there
and how long have they been raising cattle?

After traveling for a week the banjo player, who is getting

pretty good at Spanish by now, has made it to the capital. He
walks into town. The farmers have given him some new clothes
and some money. He goes into a hotel. He books a room. How
much is he charged for the room? He goes to a restaurant. He
is given a menu. He orders some food. Is his Spanish easily
understood by the waiter?

After his meal the banjo player goes for a stroll. He is walking
down the street when he is suddenly jumped by a couple of
guys. He has been mistaken for a US politician who bears an
uncanny resemblance to him. He is kidnapped. He is taken to a
room in a quiet part of the city. He is tied up and he is locked
in the room. What is he tied up with? Is he gagged? Is he given
adequate food and water? Is he threatened or treated badly in
any way?

The banjo player is held to ransom. Some local criminals think

that he is a US politician. He has been mistaken for one of the
members of the US trade mission that recently visited the city.
A ransom note is delivered to the US embassy. How much
money is requested? The guy’s photo is taken. Is the photo put
in an envelope with the note?

Meanwhile in the US, a politician who recently visited Bolivia

is contacted. He is told that somebody to whom he bears an
uncanny resemblance has been kidnapped and held to ransom.
If one of your family members was kidnapped, would you pay
the ransom? The US embassy refuses to pay the ransom. The
criminals decide to kill their victim. Do you think the banjo
player is going to get shot or stabbed or thrown off a cliff? Do
you think he is going to be released? Have you ever been
involved in a kidnapping? Have you ever been involved in an
act of piracy? Have you ever committed a crime?
6. The Mystery of the Missing Cult Members
(passives, mixed conditional, relative clauses, embedded
questions, use of semi-colon, parallel phrases)

A planeload of journalists is making its way from Los Angeles

to La Paz. Do you imagine that they would all be equipped with
lap-tops, mobile phones and voice recorders? Simultaneously
another flight also laden with media people is winging its way
south from Miami. How many hours apart are the ETAs of the
two flights, which originate in the United States?

The journalists have come to Bolivia to cover an astonishing

event high in the Andes. The entire population of a remote
mountain community run by a weird religious cult has
disappeared. All of the members of the community have
vanished into thin air. Some say they have been kidnapped.
How many people are kidnapped a year in Mexico? Some say
they have been murdered and their bodies have been
concealed or burned. If you were in a situation where you had
to conceal a body, would you burn it or bury it or what? Others
say the missing members of the cult have been teleported into
another dimension. If length, breadth and width are the first
three dimensions, what would the fourth dimension be? Do you
accept the possibility that there might be other worlds or other
dimensions with other beings in them who exist
simultaneously with us and around us but we cannot see them
and we cannot be seen by them?

A kidnapped American banjo player is being held by an obscure

terrorist group, which has nothing to do with the weird
religious cult. Is he bound and gagged? The kidnappers have
been negotiating with the US government. Have they been
negotiating with a high level official or a mid level official or a
low level official? They have been trying to persuade the US
official that they have kidnapped a US congressman. The
problem is that the congressman has not been kidnapped.
What is the reason for this situation where the two parties
involved are acting on the basis of different versions of what
the facts are?

The banjo player learns that the members of the religious

commune have disappeared. They include the woman who he
loves; the woman who left him; the woman who happens to be
the only person who can clear his name by providing an alibi
for him so he can get a retrial. Do you think he is ever going to
manage to clear his name? Is he disheartened by his
predicament? Is he down-cast?

The entire military of Bolivia and the police force of La Paz are
scouring the city and the countryside in search of the missing
cult members. The people who are holding the banjo player are
spooked by all this activity. One member after another gets
cold feet and slips off. Finally the banjo player is left alone
with one kidnapper. Is the man a perverted character who
takes delight in the suffering of others? Are you the type of
person who derives enjoyment from observing the misfortune
of others? I should hope not.

The sadistic kidnapper goes outside of the room where the

banjo player is being held. Does he leave the room because he
wants to use the water closet? The banjo player, who is sitting
on the bed, jumps up and leaps through the window. His hands
are bound but his legs are free. Is he blindfolded? He falls six
storeys.

The banjo player’s fall is broken by a canopy over the entrance

to the hotel where his kidnappers are holed up. He is hardly
hurt at all. He just has a few minor scrapes. Are his hands cut
and bruised? He finds himself standing staring face to face at
a tall thin woman with dark wavy hair. They stare at each other
but they do not say anything.

A security guard calls out. The banjo player does not want to
be recaptured by his kidnappers. He does not want to be
captured by the police either. He is a wanted man in the US. He
is an escaped con. Is he worried that he will be extradited to
the US where he will forced to stand trial for escaping from
lawful custody? Would he be sent back to the US if he was
arrested?
Suddenly the tall thin woman with the dark wavy hair smiles. It
is very nice of you to “drop in”, she says. This is a double
entendre. Are plays-on-words like this used much in your
mother tongue? The woman’s smile is infectious. The banjo
player feels compelled to smile back at her. He is surrounded
by yelling people. Two kidnappers run through the hotel lobby.
They are being chased by police officers and a security guard.
Are the security guards armed? What are the police armed
with? Some soldiers enter the foyer. The banjo player stands
aside. The woman unties his hands. The soldiers pass by. The
banjo player stares at the woman. He asks her to help him. Has
she ever been asked for help by a stranger before? The woman
is not Bolivian. She is Australian. Would you help a stranger in
a foreign country in a situation like this?

The woman has a four-wheel drive outside the hotel. She

explains to the banjo player that she is an astronomer. She is
working at a telescope in a remote area high in the mountains.
She has been sent into the city to get supplies. What sort of
supplies has she been asked to pick up? Has she been able to
source everything that she needs? The banjo player and the
astronomer drive out of “the city of peace” and head up into
the hills. The road climbs higher and higher and becomes more
and more precarious. Do they stop at any little places on the
way? Are they required to make a refueling stop? As they drive
they talk. They get on wonderfully well. Does it seem like there
might be the possibility of a romantic involvement?

As the couple drive into the night there is an announcement on

the radio. It seems that the cult members have been murdered.
Some bodies have been located. Have they been tampered
with or mutilated in any way? The banjo player reflects on his
relationship with the artist who has probably been murdered.
She is his only chance to clear his name.

7. The Bolivian Veal Sausage Scandal

Over the next few days a Bolivian veal sausage scandal

emerges in the US newspapers. What are veal sausages made
of? It seems that a series of gruesome murders have taken
place and the bodies of the victims have been minced and
mixed with veal and chicken to create a very tasty and
extremely popular mixed veal sausage which has made huge
inroads into the delicatessen and fine foods market all across
the country. Which is more nutritious, veal sausage or
Camembert cheese?

The man behind the scandal is the manager of a chain of

import stores, who also happens to be the leader of the
mysterious religious cult, whose members have gone missing
in Bolivia. Is all the food that is imported into the US inspected
by customs officials to ensure that it is fit for human
consumption? It is feared that the sadistic cult leader who has
murdered all of his followers is still at large and hiding in the
Andes. Is the cult leader supposed to have committed all these
murders single-handedly or is he supposed to have had the
assistance of some accomplices? The Bolivian military and
police continue to scour the countryside in search of the
fugitive. Are they assisted by US special forces? Are they
provided with helicopter support by the US Navy?

Meanwhile in Washington the US congressman who is

responsible for trade to Bolivia is being grilled. Has he been
called before a house committee? The member of congress,
who happens to bear an uncanny resemblance to a certain
banjo player who is trapped in Bolivia, is being asked what he
knows about the veal sausage industry. Have the veal
sausages been advertised as Bolivia’s national dish? Is Wal-
mart involved in any way? Is the research and Planning
Division of MacDonald’s involved? Have any Bolivian veal
products been trialed by McDonald’s? Just what exactly is
veal? A Latin American cultural expert has been called before
a house committee and has testified that veal is not commonly
consumed in the Andes. Is veal eaten in La Paz? Where is it
commonly eaten? Is it milk-fed or grain-fed?

The US congressman who is responsible for trade to Bolivia

has a lot on his plate. Does he have more than he can handle
on his plate? The Bolivian water board has just been
privatized. It has become a wholly owned subsidiary of an
originally American multinational corporation, which goes by
the name of Bechtel. Is Bechtel based in San Francisco? What
industries have been privatized in your country? A public
company has been set up and it has been listed on the stock
exchange. Where is the stock exchange of Bolivia located? The
price of water has been increased. Is the water properly
filtered before it is made available for human consumption? Is
any fluoride added? Is the water in your hometown fluoridated?
In some areas the price of water has been doubled. In other
areas it has been tripled. Are there any areas in which it has
been quadrupled? A new pipeline has been constructed. Has
the construction of the pipeline provided jobs for local people
or have foreign experts from overseas construction companies
been flown in to carry out the project? Local peasants have
not been considered in the deal. Have they been consulted at
all? Terrorists have attacked the pipeline. How are the
terrorists armed? Have they been given any assistance by the
Russians or the Chinese or the Arabs? What is a terrorist? Has
the pipeline been damaged? Supply to some areas has been
cut off. Has supply to the capital been cut off?

The US congressman has been sent to Bolivia again. Reports

that he has been kidnapped have been replaced by reports
that he has escaped. Is he confused by the whole thing? Does
he have any inkling that somewhere in the world there is
somebody who looks just like him?

Meanwhile up in the mountains a tall thin woman with dark

wavy hair and her companion, a fugitive banjo player who
speaks Quechua, are arriving at the site of a very large
telescope. The woman is involved in a project, which is
attempting to understand the nature of “dark matter”? What
the hell is “dark matter”?

The banjo player and the Australian astronomer with dark

wavy hair have been discussing the disappearance of the cult
members. They have also been talking about the existence of
dark matter. Has dark matter been proven to exist? The woman
with the dark wavy hair is an astronomer. The banjo player
wonders if she is also an astrologer. He wonders if there is any
clue to our origins and our destinations in the map, which the
sky presents us. Is the sky really a map of our destiny or is
that just a stupid metaphor, which has no bearing on reality?
Are all the events in our lives pre-destined? Are some of the
events in our lives pre-destined? Are horoscopes made up by
sadists?

The banjo player has spent time in the community with the
cult members. He has been told that the world is going to end
in 2012, when the Mayan calendar finishes. Does he think that
the ending of the world is merely the ending of one cycle and
the beginning of a new cycle? Do you think our destiny is set
out in great cycles or do you believe that all of time is just one
long series of random events? Are time and space connected?

The tall thin woman with the dark wavy hair, who happens to
be an Australian astronomer, who is researching dark matter
and the banjo player with the penchant for philosophical
inquiry who happens to be a fugitive from the law are weary
after their long journey and their deep discussion. They devour
a meal of pork and potatoes and then they shower and fall
asleep on bunk beds in the woman’s quarters. How many
astronomers are housed in the observatory complex? How long
has research been going on here? Why has the Andes been
chosen as the best location for this type of research? Are the
astronomer and the banjo player attracted to each other?

8. The CIA Cover-Up and the Balsa Wood Boat

In a secret room in the US embassy in La Paz, a US

congressman is being briefed. Is the room nicely decorated?
He is being told that the Bolivian veal sausage scandal is a
hoax. Have you been to South America or eaten any veal in the
last ten days? The congressman is being told that the hoax
was perpetrated in order to conceal the real facts. Is that an
oxymoron? Has the reputation of veal been tarnished forever?
Is the congressman a moron? Are the Morons a religious cult,
which has its headquarters in Pennsylvania?

The sausage scandal is a CIA cover-up, which has been

organized to hide the real facts. Are sausages and salami filled
with the same stuff? The real facts are, that the Bolivian
religious cult murders have been perpetrated by its leader, who
is a rogue CIA agent. The CIA are looking for their rogue agent.
They are trying to hide the fact that one of their agents killed
several hundred people.

Anyway the murders have been carried out by the religious

cult leader, who happens to be a former CIA agent, who has
turned on his old employer and become an international
terrorist and now a mass murderer. The congressman is being
told this, because he actually knows the cult leader. He is
actually an acquaintance of this mass murderer who is now
being hunted down by American intelligence agents.

The congressman and the former CIA agent turned religious

cult leader and then mass murderer are high school friends.
Were thy educated at the same university? They have known
each other for many years although they have lost touch in the
last decade. Has either of them married in the intervening
time? The congressman is asked to work with the CIA. Is he
easily persuaded? Is he offered money? Would you be easily
persuaded to turn in a former comrade?

If the religious cult leader knew the politician’s face, why

didn’t he say anything when he met the banjo player, who is a
dead ringer for the politician?
Could it be that religious cult leader did note the similarity of
the banjo player to his old school friend, but he thought it
unremarkable and he did not mention it to anyone? Do you
tend to spontaneously blurt out things that you notice without
thinking or are you more inclined to keep your observations to
yourself?

The congressman is going to assist the CIA in their

investigations. Are they going to be assisted by his wife as
well? Is she going to be let in on the details of the veal
sausage scandal? Is it safe to eat veal or not? The Director of
the CIA wants to catch the rogue agent and eliminate him.
Does he want him dealt with lawfully and imprisoned for his
crimes if found guilty? Has he reached the point of being
prepared to break the law to catch the rogue agent? Is US law
routinely broken by the CIA? Are CIA operations usually
carried out beyond the boundaries of the jurisdiction of US
law? The politician agrees to give full co-operation to the CIA.
He is flown back to the States soon after. What happens to the
water pipeline in Bolivia? Is the politician being told the whole
truth by the CIA?

Meanwhile high up in the Andes, the banjo player, who is a

dead ringer for the congressman, of whom we have just been
speaking, is peering up the eyepiece of a very large telescope.
Is dark matter able to be seen with the naked eye? Is it able to
be seen with a very large telescope? Are astrology and
astronomy linked? How are they connected?

The banjo player has struck up a friendship with the other

astronomers at the observatory in the mountains. He has been
loaned a banjo by one. How long has it been since that
particular instrument has been played? One of the
astronomers is a Swede, whose contract is coming to an end.
Is he descended from a long line of Vikings? The Swede is
going to embark on an ambitious project at the completion of
his time in the mountain observatory. He is going to attempt to
cross the Pacific Ocean on a balsa wood boat. Where is balsa
wood found? Is it grown commercially? What is it used for?

The Swede is trying to prove that the indigenous people of

South America were sea travelers who visited Polynesia.
Where is Polynesia located? Is New Zealand included in the
term “Polynesian”? The banjo player is offered a place on the
balsa boat that is going to sail across the Pacific. If you were
given an opportunity like that, would you take it?

Meanwhile back in the US it has been leaked to the media that

the Bolivian veal scandal was a CIA cover-up. The whole thing
was a hoax. There has never been anything wrong with
Bolivian veal. People will still not eat it however. It seems that
its reputation has been badly tarnished. Is the stain indelible?

All five hundred and seventy two members of the religious cult
are still missing. Have any dead bodies been recovered? Where
might the religious cult leader be hiding out? Do you think
anybody has really been killed? Can the CIA be trusted? Can
the US government be trusted? Can any government be
trusted? Is it true to say that politicians are not generally to be
trusted? Why do you think it is that many people are inclined to
say that politicians are not to be trusted?

The banjo player has a dilemma. He is not sure about his

feelings for the Australian astronomer. Are some of us destined
to meet at certain times in our lives? He is unsure whether he
should cross the Pacific with the Swede or stay in the Andes
with the Australian. What would you do? Do the banjo player’s
thoughts ever turn to his ex-girlfriend who is an artist? Is she
still teamed up with the religious cult leader? Has the
Australian astrologer ever been married? How many times
have you been married?

9. The Charismatic Religious Cult Leader in

Vanuatu

On a small island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, a

religious cult leader and his five hundred and seventy two
followers are building a village. They are building the village on
the highlands at the centre of the island. Are the coastal areas
going to be inundated by rising seas?

The religious cult leader has a handsome face with a receding

hair-line. Does he have piercing eyes? Are his teeth decayed?
Is the skin around his eyes wrinkled? The leader’s hut is at the
centre of the village. Is it a thatched hut? It is inhabited by
himself and his partner, an American artist, who used to be in
a relationship with a certain banjo player. Is monogamy
generally practiced in the community?

The members of the cult want to know why they have been
taken to this remote Pacific island. They have been woken in
the middle of the night then they have all been told to get on a
private jet and they have been taken in groups to a larger
airport and then on to this remote island, which is situated not
far from Vanuatu. What currency is used in Vanuatu? What
languages are spoken? What ethnic group or groups is the
population composed of?

The cult leader explains that the CIA has been corrupted. It
has been infiltrated by foreign spies and corrupting outside
interests. Has it been infiltrated by Al Qaeda? The Director of
the CIA plans to assassinate the President of the United
States. Powerful economic interests plan to install a military
government. Will elections be abolished? Will civil rights be
suspended? Will segregation of blacks and whites be re-
introduced? Will slavery be re-introduced? Will Muslims be
persecuted?

The cult leader explains, that he is employed by the CIA and he

has realized, that the organization had been infiltrated and
corrupted and that his life is in danger. Has an attempt already
been made on his life? He has fled the community in Bolivia
and moved to this remote location. Has the move been
detected by the CIA? Are all his movements being monitored
on Google Earth? All of his followers have been brought with
him for their own protection. Have they been given time to
pack any belongings? Have they been given plenty to eat and
drink?

Over the coming months the community is re-established in

this remote Pacific island location. How many houses are
constructed? Is a theatre and meditation hall built? What kinds
of crops are planted? Are any cattle imported? What other food
is produced? Is much seafood caught? Are any dietary
restrictions imposed on the community for religious reasons?

The charismatic cult leader travels secretly to the US on his

private jet several times and confers with his allies in high
places. A coup is about to be staged in the land of the free. Is
the US President going to be assassinated? Is democracy
going to be wiped out? Is the flag going to be burned? Are the
American people going to be enslaved? Are the American
people already enslaved?

Meanwhile in Washington a US congressman is being

awakened night after night by recurring nightmares. Is he
awakened several times in a night? Is his wife disturbed? He is
being tortured by memories from his criminal past. He used to
be a bank robber and a murderer. Now he has repented all of
his sins and turned over a new leaf. Has he been converted to
one of the evangelical churches? Does he know that someone
has been sent to prison for his crimes? How would you feel if
somebody else was sent to prison for a crime that had been
committed by you? How often is the congressman contacted
by the CIA? Is he ever called by the President?

When is the CIA plan to assassinate the US President going to

be carried out? Are veal sausages still being sold in the US?
Has the price of water in Bolivia been lowered? Has the
company that bought the right to control all water pipelines in
Bolivia been nationalized? Should essential service industries
be privatized? Should banks be nationalized?
One day on the beach of a tropical island near Vanuatu, a boat
is sighted. How many masts is it rigged with? Is it constructed
entirely of balsa wood? The boat is carrying several
adventurers. Most of them are Swedes but one of them is an
American banjo player. Several hours later the boat is beached
on the island. It is dragged up the beach by the sailors and
anchored to a coconut tree. Are a lot of coconuts found on the
island? The sailors wander into the inland part of the island
and meet the members of a religious community. Everybody is
engaged in meditation. The captain of the sailors and the
leader of the religious cult suddenly see each other. They rush
up to each other and they embrace each other. Are embraces
commonly exchanged on meeting in your country?

The captain of the Swedish sailors is actually a member of the

religious cult as well. He has been in contact with the cult
leader the whole time. Have they been able to contact each
other telepathically? Has the Swede been guided to the island
by a GPS device? Has he been tracked by the CIA? Do you
believe the CIA ever really would stage a coup and assassinate
the US President? Which US Presidents have been
assassinated? Have you heard about the coup that was
attempted by Prescott Bush?

Is the Australian astronomer still engaged in research at the

remote astronomical observatory far up in the Andes? Is she
romantically interested in the banjo player? The banjo player
meets his ex-girlfriend, the artist from New Orleans. She has
not been murdered by the cult leader. Nobody has been
murdered. Has anybody been turned into veal sausage? Is veal
produced in your country? Is it commonly eaten? How is it
prepared?

10. The Conversation on the Beach and the

Embassy Cocktail Party

A tall thin African American in a colourful shirt is sitting on the

beach of a Pacific island near Vanuatu. A banjo is cradled in
his arms. Has the seat of his pants been dampened from
sitting on the wet sand? Are his clothes worn? Is he clean-
shaven or bearded? The banjo player is engaged in a heated
discussion with his ex-lover, who is an artist.

The woman is being asked to cast her mind back. She is being
requested to try to remember things that happened several
years ago. She is being told to try to remember the day she had
an argument with her boyfriend in her studio. Is she able to
remember the fatal moment on the street corner when she saw
the guy who bore an uncanny resemblance to her lover? Does
she believe that her ex is not guilty of the crime for which he
was imprisoned? Is she prepared to try to help him clear his
name?

The woman feels like she is never going to be able to get rid of
this man. She is happy in her new relationship. She thought
she would never have to see the banjo player again. Why does
he keep turning up in her life again and again? Are their paths
destined to cross? Are their destinies entwined? Are they
meant for each other? Should things have turned out
differently?

Meanwhile in Washington the congressman who is the exact

double of the beleaguered banjo player is preparing to make a
trip to Bolivia. The offices of the American water company in
La Paz have been ransacked by rebels. How are rebels
different from terrorists? Have any of the employees of the US
company been injured? Have any Americans been kidnapped or
taken hostage? The congressman is being sent to negotiate on
the part of US interests. Basically the US water company will
be represented by him.

This same company was once run by the vice president of the
US. Are political and business interests closely linked in your
country? Why is it undesirable to have close links between
business and political interests? Is it inevitable that political
leaders will be chosen from the business community?

Just before the congressman flies to La Paz he is contacted by

the CIA and told to meet an agent in Bolivia for a briefing. The
man who he is supposed to meet is a New Zealander. Is New
Zealand situated anywhere near Vanuatu?
The congressman flies to Bolivia and meets with
representatives of the government to discuss the water
pipeline issue. Is the problem resolved? Later that night he
goes to a cocktail party at the US embassy. Is wine served?
Are any local dancing girls invited? Are dancing girls usually
invited to parties and events including political meetings in
your country? Do you think that all public meetings should
begin with a display of dancing? Do you think that dancing
should be taught to all children? Is there anywhere that you
know of where dancing is outlawed?

At the cocktail party the congressman is introduced to a group

of wives of politicians. Is he invited to dance by any of them?
Is he bored by their company or enchanted? Later on he gets
into a conversation with a group of businessmen.

One of them is a mild mannered textile trader who works for

the last woolen garment manufacturing company in New
Zealand. Are all the clothes, that are worn in New Zealand
now, produced in China? His company is manufacturing and
marketing a range of sexy woolen underwear with male,
female and unisex lines. The name of the product is
“Sheepies”. The slogan is: “It is cold. Are you wearing your
sheepies?” Has the product been well received in Japan? How
has it been received in Korea? Has it been marketed in Russia?

After midnight the party warms up. Does everybody get

toasted? At one point the congressman is drawn into a
conversation about different codes of football with the Kiwi
woolen garment manufacturer. Is the topic of football often
brought up by the New Zealander? Are New Zealanders
generally obsessed with rugby union? Are the All Blacks
worshiped like gods in the Land of the Long White Cloud?

The US trade rep and the Kiwi sexy wooly undergarment rep
go outside for a cigar on the balcony? Is smoking prohibited in
all government buildings under federal law? The Kiwi and the
Yank find a quiet spot. Who are the cigars provided by? Who
are they lit by? Is the smoking of tobacco prohibited in
restaurants?

The kiwi wooly underwear salesman reveals that he is actually

a New Zealand secret agent who is working for the New
Zealand secret service. Is the congressman surprised to meet
his contact in this way? The New Zealander, whose code name
is W7, explains that his government is worried about an influx
of conventional weapons to the Pacific area. Is the New
Zealand government also worried about an influx of nuclear
weapons to the Pacific area?

The New Zealand secret agent explains that Chinese weapons

manufacturers are sourcing new markets in the Pacific. Are US
markets being encroached on? These weapons are being
purchased by independence and secessionist groups in various
Pacific islands and also by organized crime and militant
political interests in New Zealand and Australia. Are there any
independence or secessionist groups in French Polynesia?

The influx of Chinese made weapons to the area is considered

to be a major threat to regional security. Considered by whom?
Both the New Zealand and Australian governments are
extremely concerned that society will be destabilized. Is the
US government concerned? How is the Chinese government
concerned? Meanwhile on an island near Vanuatu a banjo
player is being grilled by his ex and in an observatory high up
in the Andes, an Australian astronomer is dreaming of the
banjo player.
11. Kiwi Agent Sean Connery and the Plot to Kill L.
Ron Hubbard

A US congressman is standing on the balcony of the US

embassy in La Paz discussing codes of football with a Kiwi
secret agent who is disguised as the representative of a
company that markets sexy wooly underwear. What are they
smoking? What kind of tobacco products are commonly
smoked in your circle? Are their cigars made in Cuba? The New
Zealander has just revealed himself. He has just revealed who
he is. His name is Sean Connery.

The congressman and the New Zealander are suddenly joined

by the local CIA operative. He reveals that the rogue CIA
agent, who happens to be a religious cult leader and also the
owner of a chain of stores that imports veal sausages to the
United States and European Union, is also an arms dealer in
Vanuatu. How long has the religious cult leader been involved
in the veal sausage business? Are his so-called veal sausages
really made of a mixture of alpaca and lama with a little pork?
Is he really involved in the arms business? Is an arms race an
effective way of offsetting a conflict? Are drug dealing and
arms dealing connected?

Agent W7, who goes under the name of Sean Connery, has been
summoned to Bolivia to meet the congressman and liaise with
him in preparation for the hazardous mission that they are
about to be sent on. When will they be sent? Will they be sent
to Vanuatu? Will they be paid danger money? They are going to
try to eliminate the rogue CIA agent, who is codenamed L. Ron
Hubbard by the CIA. Under what circumstances is the taking of
another human being’s life excused by law?

At that same moment on a small island near Vanuatu, the

religious cult leader, who is known as L. Ron Hubbard by the
CIA, is engaged in an intense conversation with his friend and
lieutenant, a Swedish astronomer and adventurer who has just
crossed the Pacific on a balsa wood boat. Is their conversation
being monitored by the CIA? Has the KGB been replaced by the
CIA as the classic modern “big brother ” figure? Ron and the
Swede are discussing the fact that they have just received
intelligence that the plot to assassinate the President of the
United States will be carried out soon. Has the President been
warned that the Secret Service and the CIA have been
infiltrated by elements that are hostile to the forces of
freedom and democracy?

Meanwhile down on the beach a banjo player is arguing with

his ex. Are they seated on a blanket? How long have they been
arguing? He is begging her to help him clear his name but the
woman will not be persuaded. Why will she not be persuaded?
At that very moment a CIA satellite far out in space is making
use of sophisticated digital video technology to monitor their
activity. Is the woman’s mobile phone being activated without
her knowledge in order to eavesdrop on their conversation?

The CIA have designated codenames for the people who they
are monitoring. The banjo player is known as Marlon Brando.
The artist with whom he once had a relationship is known as
Angelina Jolie. Is the astronomical observatory in the Andes
being used to help the CIA conduct surveillance activities by
satellite? Is the Australian astronomer a CIA operative?
Not long after the small island near Vanuatu is raided by a
contingent of US special forces. Are they accompanied by
agent W7? The cult leader, who is referred to as “Ron” is
captured. The Swedish adventurer who is referred to by the
CIA as “Thor Heyerdahl”, is not apprehended. He manages to
escape. Is he born away on his balsa wood boat?

The banjo player, who is referred to by the CIA as Marlon

Brando, is taken in. He is flown to Guantanamo Bay, where he
is locked in a cell. Is he put in solitary confinement? Is he
water-boarded? Is simulated drowning commonly used as an
interrogation technique in your country? Is Marlon given
access to legal counsel? Is he given any religious texts to use
as toilet paper? Is he forced to engage in any kind of sexual
activity? Is he humiliated in any other way?

While he is incarcerated, the banjo player, who is now known

as Marlon, is confronted by his long lost brother, the
congressman. Is the congressman flown in on an unmarked
CIA plane? Nobody knows that Marlon and the congressman
are twins. The congressman has been code-named Denzel
Washington. Does he bear any resemblance to Denzel
Washington in real life?

The congressman and the CIA interrogators are puzzled by the

strange resemblance that the banjo player bears to the
congressman. Has a case like this ever been encountered by
the agency before? They come to the conclusion that Marlon
has had plastic surgery to make him look like the
congressman. Is plastic surgery common used to beautify the
face and body in your society?

They think it is a part of a plot to assassinate the

congressman. They put the congressman in protective
custody. After he has been confronted by the sight of the man,
who looks like him and realizes the lengths people will go to,
to get him, the congressman has a nervous breakdown. He
throws himself on the altar at his local church and weeps.
Does he confess his crimes to the members of his church?

The banjo player is tortured by CIA agents. During one

particularly cruel session he is accidentally killed. He
becomes aware of the fact that he is floating above his body
and then he is led through a long tunnel by an angelic being. Is
he led towards a very bright light? His whole life flashes before
him as if in a movie. Is he moved to tears by this? The banjo
player floats up to heaven. He is met by St Peter at the pearly
gates. Is St Peter bearded?

Epilogue

A recently deceased banjo player has just arrived in heaven.

Has his whole life been flashed before him as if in a movie? He
has had a difficult life and he has been subjected to a lot of
suffering. Is it inevitable that all people will be subjected to
suffering in life?

St Peter is explaining to the banjo player that it has all been a

terrible mistake. He was supposed to have had a quiet life. Was
he supposed to have died in his sleep? He was not supposed to
have learned to play the banjo. He was supposed to have
married and raised a family and lived quietly and happily. Was
he supposed to have become a grandfather? Unfortunately
there was a mix-up early in his life and this changed
everything. Are mistakes made in heaven as well as on earth?

The banjo player’s brother was supposed to have learned to

play the banjo. How are the strings connected to a banjo? His
banjo-playing ability was supposed to have given him the
resilience to deal with many difficulties in life and overcome
many obstacles. How is the soul connected to the body?
Unfortunately without the resilience of the banjo to support
him, the brother was not equal to his task. Was he inclined to
give up when the going got tough? He was led into a life of
crime and although he became a congressman despite this, he
was weak and nervous and not equal to the tasks, which he
was called upon to perform. What tasks was he called upon to
perform? He was eventually corrupted by the evil Director of
the CIA and became a part of the plot to assassinate the
president of the USA. Why are political leaders assassinated?
Is it inevitable that good men will be murdered?

Is it plausible to you that that a whole course of events could

have been changed because the wrong brother learned to play
the banjo?
From his vantage point in heaven the banjo player gazes at life
on earth. He sees the cult leader in his cell. When will he be
released? He sees the Swedish explorer on his boat. When will
land be sighted? He sees the artist who used to be his lover. Is
she also imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay? Can “Gitmo” be
compared to Gulag Archipelago and Siberia? Would you feel
ashamed to live in a land where justice was a game?

The banjo player also sees agent W7. He has quit his job and
returned to New Zealand, where he has become a shearer. Are
sheep shorn by hand or machine? Are “sheepies” still in
fashion?

The banjo player sees the Australian astronomer gazing up at

the heavens from her observatory in Bolivia. Is she dressed in
“sheepies”? He is aware of a strong attraction to her. He longs
for her and she longs for him. He suddenly realizes that she is
going to be his mother.

One night he stares at the woman and from his star in heaven
he shines down her telescope and enters her being and soon
after she becomes pregnant. Is the entry made through her
eye? Is it an immaculate conception? At what point does the
soul enter the body? Is the body occupied by the soul before
conception? Is the body occupied by the soul at the moment of
conception? Is the term “occupy” a clumsy way to describe the
relationship between the body and the soul? Is the moment of
conception the same as the moment of physical sex? Might the
universe be constructed in such a way that the body is entered
by the soul before or after the moment of physical or sexual
conception? Should pregnant mothers go to graveyards to get
souls for their babies? Are ghosts just disembodied souls?

The banjo player knows that the President of the United States
will be assassinated. On what day will the assassination take
place? Is the President going to be assassinated by the banjo
player’s brother? He knows that the world will be cast into a
dark era of war and uncertainty. Will America become involved
in a conflict with Russia or China?

The banjo player has decided to incarnate again as a human

being to help. Is incarnating again straight away a good idea?
He wants to do something good in life. He wants to do
something worthwhile. He wants to force his body to obey his
soul. He wants to create heaven on earth. Will his dreams be
realized? Will all people one day be judged by the content of
their character rather than the colour of their skin? Will all the
hands of all the children on earth one day be joined in
brotherhood and sisterhood? Can being taught to express
oneself through music have a profound effect on the quality of
life on earth? Are all human beings angels, who have been
incarnated many times before and will be reincarnated many
times again until enlightenment is finally achieved?

Who is going to be the banjo player’s father? We know who is

going to be the banjo player’s mother. Who is going to be the
banjo player’s friend?