Nonverbal communication (NVC) is usually understood as the process of communication

through sending and receiving wordless messages , language is not the only source of
communication, there are other means also. NVC can be communicated through gestures and
touch ( Haptic communication), by body language or posture, by facial expression and eye
contact. NVC can be communicated through object communication such as clothing, hairstyles
or even architecture, symbols and info graphics. Speech contains nonverbal elements known as
paralanguage, including voice quality, emotion and speaking style, as well as prosodic features
such as rhythm, intonation and stress. Dance is also regarded as a nonverbal communication.
Likewise, written texts have nonverbal elements such as handwriting style, spatial arrangement
of words, or the use of emoticons.

There is a science "psychology of clothing", where the concept "fashion victim" - is not a
popular phrase, but a clinical diagnosis. Orientation exceptionally on the last word in fashion - is
a sign of heightened hypochondria, a woman's psychological dependence on other people's
opinion, uncultivated self-respect.

According to psychologists, a man, whose costume is extremely considered (no matter which
one, even a skiing one), often tries to hide his colossal diffidence and prove his value, attract
attention and sometimes to confirm his superiority with the help of some attire.

All-sufficient, steady people with various interests usually dress in rather simple way, not
showing off, and interest in new trends reasonably, not hunting for new labels. They feel quite
comfortable wearing as old jeans, as an evening toilet (as a rule, rather reserved).

Moreover, to psychologists' opinion, one can discern some certain type of self-consciousness
behind each style.

1. Classic style. Its main feature - are moderation and traditional nature in combination with
fashionable trends without carrying to extremes. Quite self-confident people, who do not feel any
heightened necessity to prove their magnitude to other people, moreover using clothing, keep to
this style.

2. Sporty style. Prominent organization men, bankers and other rich men, who always used a
style "costume-cravat", suddenly began sweeping away jogging shoes, sporting cloth, rucksacks
or sportive bags from counters. Yes, of course, today an idea of youthful appearance and healthy
way of living has seized a strong hold on our minds, but this does not mean all these people
decided to go in for sport or invigoration. This cloth became a standard not only for exercising,
but also for rest, vacation. A turn to visible simplicity and liberation means striving of well-to-do
sections to "complete with poor", as psychologists consider.

3. Grunge style. A style of "shabby cloth" gave designers a good task! They are cutting off and
out, ripping up, soaking cloth in chloric acid, pressing, imitating spots and patches knowingly -
they do all these things only because a "grunge" style has come into fashion. Tattered pullovers,
dresses, coming unraveled, dirty jeans are sold in leading couturier's shops and ordinary
boutiques. This is a challenge to elegance, struggle with stylishness, expensive refined cloths and
impeccable seams. If earlier it was impossible to go out wearing the same dress more than once,
now "grunge" style praises scruffiness, as if it is saying: we are wearing the same cloth all the
time!

Nevertheless, all this crude "old" cloth surpasses all reasonable prices. Some Levi's models cost
more than 6 thousands of dollars! This trend, often causing associations with hippie from Beatles
days, displays neglect to cloth and a challenge to social inequality. However, psychologists
consider that a style of "chic rubbish heap", which bourgeoisie added to its arsenal, says about its
self-destruction and can even be treated as asking forgiveness for sins - similarly to medieval
monastic rags.

4. Exotic (ethnic) style. Hindu, Chinese, Arabian and other oriental motives can be just a
fashionable detail for one people, and a completed style and manner of clothing for other people.
Such choice testifies to one's thirst for traveling, mental escape to exotic countries, where
everything is not so grey, like around. Exotic style, covered with bright national legends and
traditions, says about one's wish to live in a fairy-tale, escape from reality to some dream world.
But it can also be a sign of belonging to culture, philosophy of some country, for example,
Buddhism.

5. Military style. Khaki color, camouflage pattern, details, peculiar to military cloth, high heavy
boots - some women do like this style. You have not to be a psychologist to understand that this
means escape from feminine, a wish to gain a foothold in such masculine qualities, like
decisiveness and power. A clue to one's love for uniform (and for man's style in general) should
be searched in childhood, in too strict father's upbringing, often military people, or fathers
dreaming about son and bringing up daughters, like she was a boy...

6. Country style. Variegated skirt, loose blouse, decorated with patterns, laces or drawn-work,
shoes without heels, simple beads, straw hat - these are attributes of natural, or country style.
Simple, natural cloths and simple-minded, plain patterns are typical for it. This style can be a
sign of one's nostalgia on country life or testify about one's ecologic views. A straw hat and a
chintz skirt are saying with one accord with their possessor: we are not synthetic, we are natural!

7. "La Femme Fatal". This style is everlasting, but it is marked with fashionable attributes: high-
heel shoes, skirt with cut, deep décolleté, strings and open-work stocking. A woman-temptress, a
woman-vamp, oversteps the limits of elegant moderation venturesomely, and self-affirms, as an
object of men's lust. Strangely enough, the choice of this style does not always mean a woman's
heightened sexuality. We can rather say that such woman does not see any other advantages in
herself, which could attract men's attention to her and cause their delight.

Black
Black is the color of authority and power. It is popular in fashion because it makes people appear thinner.
It is also stylish and timeless. Black also implies submission. Priests wear black to signify submission to
God. Some fashion experts say a woman wearing black implies submission to men. Black outfits can also
be overpowering, or make the wearer seem aloof or evil. Villains, such as Dracula, often wear black.

White
Brides wear white to symbolize innocence and purity. White reflects light and is considered a summer
color. White is popular in decorating and in fashion because it is light, neutral, and goes with everything.
However, white shows dirt and is therefore more difficult to keep clean than other colors. Doctors and
nurses wear white to imply sterility.

Red
The most emotionally intense color, red stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. It is also the color of
love. Red clothing gets noticed and makes the wearer appear heavier. Since it is an extreme color, red
clothing might not help people in negotiations or confrontations. Red cars are popular targets for thieves.
In decorating, red is usually used as an accent. Decorators say that red furniture should be perfect since
it will attract attention.
The most romantic color, pink, is more tranquilizing. Sports teams sometimes paint the locker rooms used
by opposing teams bright pink so their opponents will lose energy.

Blue
The color of the sky and the ocean, blue is one of the most popular colors. It causes the opposite reaction
as red. Peaceful, tranquil blue causes the body to produce calming chemicals, so it is often used in
bedrooms. Blue can also be cold and depressing. Fashion consultants recommend wearing blue to job
interviews because it symbolizes loyalty. People are more productive in blue rooms. Studies show
weightlifters are able to handle heavier weights in blue gyms.

Green
Currently the most popular decorating color, green symbolizes nature. It is the easiest color on the eye
and can improve vision. It is a calming, refreshing color. People waiting to appear on TV sit in "green
rooms" to relax. Hospitals often use green because it relaxes patients. Brides in the Middle Ages wore
green to symbolize fertility. Dark green is masculine, conservative, and implies wealth. However,
seamstresses often refuse to use green thread on the eve of a fashion show for fear it will bring bad luck.

Yellow
Cheerful sunny yellow is an attention getter. While it is considered an optimistic color, people lose their
tempers more often in yellow rooms, and babies will cry more. It is the most difficult color for the eye to
take in, so it can be overpowering if overused. Yellow enhances concentration, hence its use for legal
pads. It also speeds metabolism.

Purple
The color of royalty, purple connotes luxury, wealth, and sophistication. It is also feminine and romantic.
However, because it is rare in nature, purple can appear artificial.

Brown
Solid, reliable brown is the color of earth and is abundant in nature. Light brown implies genuineness
while dark brown is similar to wood or leather. Brown can also be sad and wistful. Men are more apt to
say brown is one of their favorite colors

However, much of the study of nonverbal communication has focused on face-to-face

interaction, where it can be classified into three principal areas: environmental conditions where
communication takes place, the physical characteristics of the communicators, and behaviors of
communicators during interaction

Good communication is the foundation of successful relationships, both personally and

professionally. But we communicate with much more than words. In fact, research shows that
the majority of our communication is nonverbal. Nonverbal communication, or body language,
includes our facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, posture, and even the tone of our voice.
The ability to understand and use nonverbal communication is a powerful tool that will help you
connect with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build
better relationships at home and work.

The power of nonverbal communication and body language

Nonverbal communication, or body language, is a vital form of communication. When we

interact with others, we continuously give and receive countless wordless signals. All of our
nonverbal behaviors—the gestures we make, the way we sit, how fast or how loud we talk, how
close we stand, how much eye contact we make—send strong messages.

The way you listen, look, move, and react tell the other person whether or not you care and how
well you’re listening. The nonverbal signals you send either produce a sense of interest, trust,
and desire for connection—or they generate disinterest, distrust, and confusion.

Nonverbal communication cues can play five roles:

• Repetition: they can repeat the message the person is making verbally
• Contradiction: they can contradict a message the individual is trying to convey
• Substitution: they can substitute for a verbal message. For example, a person's eyes can
often convey a far more vivid message than words and often do
• Complementing: they may add to or complement a verbal message. A boss who pats a
person on the back in addition to giving praise can increase the impact of the message
• Accenting: they may accent or underline a verbal message. Pounding the table, for
example, can underline a message.

Nonverbal communication and body language in relationships

It takes more than words to create fulfilling, strong relationships. Nonverbal communication has
a huge impact on the quality of our relationships. Nonverbal communication skills improve
relationships by helping you:

• Accurately read other people, including the emotions they’re feeling and the unspoken
messages they’re sending.
• Create trust and transparency in relationships by sending nonverbal signals that match up
with your words.
• Respond with nonverbal cues that show others that you understand, notice, and care.

Unfortunately, many people send confusing or negative nonverbal signals without even knowing
it. When this happens, both connection and trust are lost in our relationships.

Types of nonverbal communication and body language

There are many different types of nonverbal communication. Together, the following nonverbal
signals and cues communicate your interest and investment in others.

Facial expressions

The human face is extremely expressive, able to express countless emotions without saying a
word. And unlike some forms of nonverbal communication, facial expressions are universal. The
facial expressions for happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust are the same across
cultures.

Body movements and posture

Consider how your perceptions of people are affected by the way they sit, walk, stand up, or hold
their head. The way you move and carry yourself communicates a wealth of information to the
world. This type of nonverbal communication includes your posture, bearing, stance, and subtle
movements.

Gestures

Gestures are woven into the fabric of our daily lives. We wave, point, beckon, and use our hands
when we’re arguing or speaking animatedly—expressing ourselves with gestures often without
thinking. However, the meaning of gestures can be very different across cultures and regions, so
it’s important to be careful to avoid misinterpretation.

Eye contact

Since the visual sense is dominant for most people, eye contact is an especially important type of
nonverbal communication. The way you look at someone can communicate many things,
including interest, affection, hostility, or attraction. Eye contact is also important in maintaining
the flow of conversation and for gauging the other person’s response.

Touch

We communicate a great deal through touch. Think about the messages given by the following: a
firm handshake, a timid tap on the shoulder, a warm bear hug, a reassuring pat on the back, a
patronizing pat on the head, or a controlling grip on your arm.

Space

Have you ever felt uncomfortable during a conversation because the other person was standing
too close and invading your space? We all have a need for physical space, although that need
differs depending on the culture, the situation, and the closeness of the relationship. You can use
physical space to communicate many different nonverbal messages, including signals of
intimacy, aggression, dominance, or affection.

Voice

We communicate with our voices, even when we are not using words. Nonverbal speech sounds
such as tone, pitch, volume, inflection, rhythm, and rate are important communication elements.
When we speak, other people “read” our voices in addition to listening to our words. These
nonverbal speech sounds provide subtle but powerful clues into our true feelings and what we
really mean. Think about how tone of voice, for example, can indicate sarcasm, anger, affection,
or confidence.

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it

 • Intensity. A reflection of the amount of energy you project is considered your intensity.
Again, this has as much to do with what feels good to the other person as what you
personally prefer.
• Timing and pace. Your ability to be a good listener and communicate interest and
involvement is impacted by timing and pace.
• Sounds that convey understanding. Sounds such as “ahhh, ummm, ohhh,” uttered with
congruent eye and facial gestures, communicate understanding and emotional connection.
More than words, these sounds are the language of interest, understanding and
compassion.

Using body language and nonverbal communication successfully

Nonverbal communication is a rapidly flowing back-and-forth process. Successful nonverbal

communication depends on emotional self-awareness and an understanding of the cues you’re
sending, along with the ability to accurately pick up on the cues others are sending you. This
requires your full concentration and attention. If you are planning what you’re going to say next,
daydreaming, or thinking about something else, you are almost certain to miss nonverbal cues
and other subtleties in the conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment
experience in order to fully understand what’s going on.

Tips for successful nonverbal communication :

• Take a time out if you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress. Stress compromises your
ability to communicate. When you’re stressed out, you’re more likely to misread other
people, send off confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy
knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Take a moment to calm down before you jump back into
the conversation. Once you’ve regained your emotional equilibrium, you’ll be better
equipped to deal with the situation in a positive way.
• Pay attention to inconsistencies. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is
being said. If you get the feeling that someone isn’t being honest or that something is
“off,” you may be picking up on a mismatch between verbal and nonverbal cues. Is the
person is saying one thing, and their body language something else? For example, are
they telling you “yes” while shaking their head no?
• Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a
single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you are sending and
receiving, from eye contact to tone of voice and body language. Are your nonverbal cues
consistent—or inconsistent—with what you are trying to communicate?

Nonverbal communication and body language: Common mistakes

• You’re not subtle. Be objective about your own observations to make sure you aren’t
offending others by broadly mimicking their speech or behavior. Remember, most people
instinctively send and interpret nonverbal signals all the time, so don’t assume you’re the
only one who’s aware of nonverbal undercurrents. Finally, stay true to yourself. Be aware
of your own natural style, and don’t adopt behavior that is incompatible with it.
• You bluff. Thinking you can bluff by deliberately altering your body language can do
more harm than good. Unless you’re a proficient actor, it will be hard to overcome your
body’s inability to lie. There will always be mixed messages, signs that your channels of
communication are not congruent. It’s a prime example of leakage, and something others
will detect, one way or another.
 • You rush to accuse based on body language alone. Incorrect accusations based on
erroneous observations can be embarrassing and damaging and take a long time to
overcome. Always verify your interpretation with another communications channel
before rushing in. You could say something like, “I get the feeling you’re uncomfortable
with this course of action. Would you like to add something to the discussion?” This
should draw out the real message and force the individual to come clean or to adjust his
or her body language.

Improving your nonverbal communication skills

Before you can improve your nonverbal communication skills, you need to figure out what
you’re doing right and where there is room for improvement. The most effective method is to
observe yourself in action:

• Video camera – Videotape a conversation between you and a partner. Set the camera to
record both of you at the same time, so you can observe the nonverbal back-and-forth.
When you watch the recording, focus on any discrepancies between your verbal and
nonverbal communication.
• Digital camera – Ask someone to take a series of photos of you while you’re talking to
someone else. As you look through the photos, focus on you and the other person’s body
language, facial expressions, and gestures.
• Audio recorder – Record a conversation between you and a friend or family member. As
you listen to the recording afterwards, concentrate on the way things are said, rather than
the words. Pay attention to tone, timing, pace, and other sounds.

As you watch or listen to the recordings, ask yourself the following questions:

Evaluating your nonverbal communication skills

Eye Is this source of connection missing, too intense, or just right in yourself or in
contact the person you are looking at?
Facial What is your face showing? Is it mask like and unexpressive, or emotionally
expressionpresent and filled with interest? What do you see as you look into the faces of
others?
Tone of Does your voice project warmth, confidence, and delight, or is it strained and
voice blocked? What do you hear as you listen to other people?
Posture Does your body look still and immobile, or relaxed? Sensing the degree of
and tension in your shoulders and jaw answers this question. What do you observe
gesture about the degree of tension or relaxation in the body of the person you are
speaking to?
Touch Remember, what feels good is relative. How do you like to be touched? Who
do you like to have touching you? Is the difference between what you like and
what the other person likes obvious to you?
Intensity Do you or the person you are communicating with seem flat, cool, and
disinterested, or over-the-top and melodramatic? Again, this has as much to
do with what feels good to the other person as it does with what you
personally prefer.
Timing What happens when you or someone you care about makes an important
and pace statement? Does a response—not necessarily verbal—come too quickly or too
slowly? Is there an easy flow of information back and forth?
Sounds Do you use sounds to indicate that you are attending to the other person? Do
you pick up on sounds from others that indicate their caring or concern for
you?
 Evaluating your nonverbal communication skills

The point of this exercise is to develop your nonverbal awareness. As you continue to pay
attention to the nonverbal cues and signals you send and receive, your ability to communicate
will improve.

Nonverbal communication is one of the five key skills of emotional intelligence

The Five Skills of Emotional Intelligence

Skill 1: Quick Stress Relief

Skill 2: Emotional Awareness

Skill 3: Nonverbal Communication

Skill 4: Playful Communication

Skill 5: Conflict Resolution

The ability to communicate nonverbally is the third of five essential emotional intelligence skills.
Together, the five skills of emotional intelligence help you build strong relationships, overcome
challenges, and succeed at work and in life.

The fourth key skill of emotional intelligence is the ability to use humor and play to deal with
challenges. Playful communication helps you bounce back from adversity, boost your energy
and your spirits, come up with creative ways to solve problems, and keep your relationships
fresh and exciting.