CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION .......................................................................................................................... 2
1. MARRIAGE PRINCIPLES ................................................................................................. 3
2. THE CUSTOMARY APPROACH TO MARRIAGE ....................................................... 3
2.1. A GIRL IS SHOWN TO HER SUITOR .................................................................................. 4
2.2. MARRIAGE GIFTS ............................................................................................................. 5
2.3. PREPARATION FOR WEDDING .......................................................................................... 5
2.4. MARRIAGE RITUAL ......................................................................................................... 6
3. TYPES OF MARRIAGES IN NSO CULTURE ................................................................. 6
4. THE PURPOSES OF MARRIAGE ..................................................................................... 7
4.1 COMMUNAL UNION ................................................................................................................ 7
4.2 PROCREATION ........................................................................................................................ 8
4.3 THE ECONOMIC PURPOSE ....................................................................................................... 8
CONCLUSION ............................................................................................................................... 9
SELECT BIBLIOGRAPHY ......................................................................................................... 10

1
INTRODUCTION

Nso is one of the tribes in Bui Divisions made up of six sub divisions in the North West

Region of Cameroon and has Kumbo as its capital. The Nso people are regarded as the grassland

people and use Lamnso as their language (Language of Nso). Nso’ is one of the biggest

chieftaincy in Western grassfields.1 The Fon of Nso is the highest traditional ruler, both

respected by his people and the government. His palace is called “Ntoh Nso”, meaning fon’s

residence which is use as a centre for both social and cultural festivities within the community.

The Nso society is divided into lineage group often referred to as the “Big Compound” ruled by

traditional heads known as “Fais” or “Shu Fais” and is instituted by the Fon of Nso. Like all

traditional heads, they do not shake hands with humans as tradition demands to show that they

are superior to the people.2

Traditional marriage rites take place in most Big Compounds and as tradition demands,

the groom to be must visit the family of the bride. This is to make sure that the family be aware

of the person whom their son has chosen as a wife and too that there is no family link. A Nso

man or woman cannot get married to his or her close relative, that is, third cousins as tradition

demands. The parents of the bride have little to say about what will be given as a bride’s price.

The bride-price for the first girl of a family is paid at the mother’s big compound as tradition

requires, and for the other girls, it is paid to the father’s big compound.3 The question that arises

is; what is it that constituted marriages in Nso culture or what is the understanding of marriages

in Nsoh culture?

1
Cfr. K. L. TANLAKAR, Thesis, We are all one, Kola, the nut which brings peace, joy and life in Nso’ society,
Cameroon, University of TromsØ, 2013, 7.
2
Cfr., http://brendaline2001.blogspot.com/2012/10/traditional-marriagesin-nso-land-bui-is.html#.W-869ugo_ct,
16/11/2018, 10:48.
3
Cfr., Ibid.

2
 1. MARRIAGE PRINCIPLES

These marriage principles of the Nso people are very much peculiar to them and it is well

respected by all Nso people. These principles are; In Nso, the first daughter or the only daughter

of a woman is given in marriage by the maternal grandmother of the girl; this for the very reason

that as the woman is married and gone, the first or the only daughter is to replace her mother’s

position; Secondly, in Nso culture the marriage gifts on the girl should not be more or should not

exceed those received on the mother for it is often said in Nso that the shoulder can never grow

more that the head. Nso culture believed that there is no bride-price to the woman; in fact they

give their women for free for they do not sale their children. What is received is considered gifts.

Thirdly, that there are three houses to which these gifts goes to, that is, the immediate parents of

the girl, the maternal grandfather and the second maternal grandfather (ta-yiy bam); Furthermore,

the daughters begotten of unorthodox marriage (kincem) should marry in unorthodox style as

well; In addition, it is expected that it is the duty of the father to initiate arrangements and

encourage the son to first of all build a house and to marry the first wife and lastly men are

considered weakly in situations that they have no choice of a wife.4

2. THE CUSTOMARY APPROACH TO MARRIAGE

The Nso man has two main ways of marriage approach as prescribed by the law and

custom of the clan. We have the offering of palm wine by the boy to the girl’s father in a

4
Cfr., Fonka L. S-W. Banboye, “Nso Marriage Customs” “Methods of Wife Acquisition” A Nso History Society
Production, Nooremac Press 6, Abiodum street, Mushin, Lagos Nigeria, p. 1.

3
calabash or a pod of kola-nut. He may say “I beg for “mbar” which is a kind of vegetable or that

“I am dying of hungry.”5 Once the girl’s father and relatives drinks it without paying it is a sign

that your permission as a son-in-law and in Nso’ it is called “sejuu”,6 has been granted but if

what is paid as cost of the palm wine is less, then they are demanding you to revisit with more

palm wine; if more he is considered rejected. Sometimes some refusals are a test to the man’s

seriousness, his humility, patient and perseverance. With the Kola-nut if it is given back to you

as you gave unsplited then you have been rejected, if not then the request have been granted.7

The second is the spotting of a compound of a girl or of many girls’ he may develop a

generous and helpful attitude towards the family without expressing his intentions. He could

share a drink with the compound-heads or he may make himself available in any important

occasion in the girls’ compound with gifts. So after a careful examination the elders may be the

one to approach the compound-head of the issue in other to give the boy “food.”8

2.1. A GIRL IS SHOWN TO HER SUITOR

At this point in time, the visit that the young man takes after he has been given food, that is,

when he must have been accepted is always exceptional big as compare to the first visit. The boy

is accompanied by five of his relative with five calabashes of palm wine and one of the five

calabashes is given to the elder’s house whom they first gather before he takes them to the

compound-head. The women process to greet the visitors, the line is headed by an elderly

woman. The left four calabashes is taken to the fai and he in turn invites all elders and any other

5
Cfr. Kilian Lamtur Tanlakar, Thesis, We are all one, Kola, the nut which brings peace, joy and life in Nso’ society,
Cameroon,51
6
Cfr. Kilian Lamtur Tanlakar, Thesis, We are all one, Kola, the nut which brings peace, joy and life in Nso’ society,
51.
7
Cfr., Fonka L. S-W. Banboye, “Nso Marriage Customs” “Methods of Wife Acquisition” p.2.
8
Cfr., Ibid, 4.

4
person who is present to assemble at the hall (Shu fai) At his orders two of the calabashes is

place in front of the people and the young girl in question is ask to approach and give his consent

by pouring it into the family wine-pot for the elders to drink. In doing this, she shyly steals a

look at the boy. While she is pouring it everyone is so joyous at his free acceptance yet some

may have personal objections to the visitor,9

2.2.MARRIAGE GIFTS

The most common items on the list are red oil, salt, matches, roofing zinc, palm wine,

hen, cock (rooster), goats and loin clothes commonly known as wrappers. Items like the chicken

will be slaughtered for the traditional rite and offered as sacrifice to the gods together with the

palm wine. This is done to ensure a happy marriage life with children which tradition regards as

being so important. According to tradition what was paid for your mother as gifts will be the

same that will be paid for you, which can be in the form of cash or kind, but mostly the groom’s

family is provided with a list of things to bring as gifts.

2.3. PREPARATION FOR WEDDING

At this point serious preparation is done by both families, that is, the boy’s family and the

girl’s family as well. As a preparation of the girl there is what is known as the fattening of the

bride and the collection of marriage gifts which are known as “Nko’ se vijin” These are marriage

special parcels brought by the bride’s relative in the procession. The procedure of fattening is

characterized by regular baths, rest at home and painting with cam-wood (Bii) twice daily and

special dieting.”10 It is noted that this fattening is the duty of the girl’s immediate relatives and

the representatives of the maternal grandfather. This fattening is done depending on who the girl

9
Cfr., Fonka L. S-W. Banboye, “Nso Marriage Customs” “Methods of Wife Acquisition” .6.
10
Ibid, 9.

5
is; for a commoner, it takes one week and for a prince it takes two weeks or the daughter of a

lord (kibai). 11The woman according to custom is allowed to visit the boy friends but this is done

in secret, that is, the journey to the boy friends is done at night. How popular she is in her area

determines the richness of the fattening gifts such as honey, sugar-cane, groundnuts and meat for

her to accompany the process. There is the collection of things like wine, foods, chickens money

(cowries in the olden days).

2.4.MARRIAGE RITUAL

At the ritual area where only the head of the family can visit and who can be the Fai or

Shu Fai, Shey, and Biki will sprinkle red oil and salt to awake the gods. As a sign of acceptance

that the girl wants the groom to be her husband, palm wine is poured in a traditional cup made

from pumpkin by the head of the big compound. He makes a speech, drinks a bit and asks the

girl to drink a bit, then hands over the rest to the man who will become her husband. The

husband then must finish the wine that is left in the cup to show he has taken possession of his

wife. The remaining items will be shared to the people living in the big compound.12 You may be

wondering what happens to the roofing zinc, it is used to build a new house in the big compound

for children who come home to visit. Traditional marriages in Nso land are a great symbol.

3. TYPES OF MARRIAGES IN NSO CULTURE

In Nso Culture there are two recognized types of marriages, that is, Monogamy and

Poligamy. That is the marriage of one and two or more women to one man rest. Poligamy is not

so familiar especially to an ordinary man but is common with the traditional authorities of the

Nso land. Monogamy happens to very common. Apart from the traditional title holders, there are

11
Cfr., Fonka L. S-W. Banboye, “Nso Marriage Customs” “Methods of Wife Acquisition”, 9.
12
Cfr. Ibid, 6-7.

6
also some individual who find themselves into the practice of polygamy especially wealthy

individuals. But monogamy is widely encouraged for the fear of creating disorder in the family,

in a situation where the two women are not able to understand themselves.13

What about methods of getting married? There are three methods of getting married that are

acceptable in Nso culture, that is, traditional, civil and church marriage. The first step of wife

acquisition is the traditional method. What is known as “Knock door” to the girls family and then

the big compound acquisition where by the tradition family head is expect to perform some

marital rituals as a sign of conformity to the marriage of their daughter to the man.14 Next is the

civil marriage, the recognized state marriage, this is done in order that if problems arise the state

can get involve in settling the conflicting issues among the couple. Last of it is the Christian

method, this this done at the present of the churches recognized minister who stand as witness to

the church of having the two Christian joined in the sacrament of matrimony.

4. THE PURPOSES OF MARRIAGE

Everything comes with its own advantages and so is the case of marriages in Nso culture.

These can be seen in communal union, Procreation, Economic, Socialization and companionship.

4.1 COMMUNAL UNION

The marriage between the two persons or families brings in the spirit of communal living.

This brings the two families into a closer relationship. For the sake of the man and the woman

family ties are strengthen and in a case where the two families have not been in good terms, the

spirit of reconciliation is need. This is done to help the young people achieve the fullness of what

13
Cfr., FAI LIMBUY, On Phone call, Jakiri, 16/12/2018, 3:13pm.
14
Cfr. Ibid.

7
they feel towards each other which is love. The two families will also be able to assist each other

in times of difficulties and two in good moments they share their joy.

4.2 PROCREATION

One of the most and very important reason why people get married in Nso culture is for

procreate. Children are a gift from the gods and they believe the family is only complete only if

there are child. The desire to bear children is for the sake of family continuity. There is that

desire to realize that after their departure from this material world to the world of ancestors there

is part of them left behind that will inherit their property. That is the reason why in a family

where the two couples are unable to bring forth a child or children there is always conflict.15

4.3 THE ECONOMIC PURPOSE

One of the reasons why people get married is to act as support to each other. There is that

need of building an economic life, a life whereby they can join hands and make a life that is very

conducive. The two bring their resources together as one and to make a plan of more economic

improvement. The woman duty of the house wife is; taking care of the children to grow up in a

moral and respectful way, make sure the child and the husband have something to eat. The

husband is there as the main man to provide for the family whenever there is need, especial basic

needs of the family, like clothing and school fees.16

15
Cfr., FAI BAH , On Phone call, Jakiri-shiy, 16/12/2018, 4:31.
16
Ibid.

8
 CONCLUSION

Marriage in Nso culture is one of the most important cultural practices as we have seen in

the preceding paragraphs. It is joy not only to the boy or the girl involve but to the family

members as well as the entire Nso society in the area where the ceremony is taking place. The

paragraphs above give us a deeper understanding of marriage in Nso culture. It also gives of the

principles, customary approach to marriage, types of marriages and the purpose of marriages. We

also note that taking a woman in as a wife without any formal marriage sanctions is known in

Nso as “kincem or Ncemi”, meaning marriage that is not standard. As custom demand the, the

children begotten in such “marriage” belong to the parents of the wife while the man who is the

father of the children is considered a “he-goat”17 This is because the man has no claim over the

children.

17
Cfr., Fonka L. S- W. Banboye, “Nso Marriage Customs” “Methods of Wife Acquisition”, 20.

9
 SELECT BIBLIOGRAPHY

FONKA L. S-BANBOYE.W., “Nso Marriage Customs” “Methods of Wife Acquisition” A Nso

History Society Production, Nooremac Press 6, Abiodum street,
Mushin, Lagos Nigeria.
TANLAKAR Lamtur K., Thesis, We are all one, Kola, the nut which brings peace, joy and
life in Nso’ society, Cameroon, University of TromsØ, 2013.
ARTICLE
http://brendaline2001.blogspot.com/2012/10/traditional-
marriagesin-nso-land-bui-is.html#.W-869ugo_ct.
PHONE CALLS
FAI LIMBUY, On Phone call, Jakiri, 16/12/2018.
FAI BAH, On Phone call, Jakiri-shiy, 16/12/2018.

10