Linde Fonville

English D Block

Reflection Letter

Dear Mr. Gardner,

After 273 days of High School, I am in awe that it is finally ending. Honestly, over my 9th

grade year, writing created a source of frustration for me; because it is, I have learned so much

more about writing. The writing tips that I have learned this year will set a great foundation for

the years to come.

Throughout the literary pieces we have read this year, they all seem to have common

messages and themes. Whether it be a theme of fear or friendship, the literary pieces always have

an underlying message that teaches the reader life lessons. The Penelopiad, for example, has an

underlying message: always speak the truth, or else the consequences arise worse than the initisl

consequences. In A Midnight Summer’s Dream, Shakespeare questions the reality of “true love”

versus “obsession”. These life lessons that I decipher from the books apply to my literary

assignments and I have remembered them throughout my 9th grade year. The messages and

themes teach the reader a deeper meaning to the story and about life.

For the literary analysis paper’s, I direct my writing to other 9th grade students who haven’t

read the books. I hope to uncover the underlying messages in the books and teach the readers

about these lessons. The books incorporate an underlying theme and a lesson that the protagonist

has to overcome based on their similar challenges. In the conclusions of my writing, I hope to

discover these underlying themes and express them in a way so people can learn from literature.

The revision process encouraged me to look at my writing in a new way. After receiving

great feedback, I reflected on parts of my writing that went well, and parts that needed

improvement. Often, the papers that I turned in consisted of similar recommendations, such as
the careful crafting of my thesis or the effective organization of my paragraphs. Depending on

the literary piece, I have learned from those challenges and effectively display improvement

throughout my revisions.

In the Things Fall Apart analytical paper, I refined my thesis, claims, and analysis to

make to a more precise argument. In this paper, my original thesis states, “Okonkwo’s

resentment and aspirations to be nothing like his father, ultimately causes him to live his life in

fear of weakness and failure”. This thesis states a fact, rather than an argumentative point. After

revisions, my thesis became, “In Things’ Fall Apart, by Chinua Achebe, Okonkwo tries to

suppress his fear and confirm his masculinity through his actions, but the underlying fear

ultimately causes the fragmenting of his relationships and contributes to the downfall of his

tribe.” My final thesis references specific points in the text while also presenting an argument

and analysis of the book.

In my body paragraphs of this paper, I revised my paper to make clear claims and use

effective evidence from the text which then connects back to the thesis through the analysis. My

original paper lacked a clear claim and analysis; therefore, I revised my paper, so the claim

informed the reader what they are about to read and how it connects back to the thesis. In the

second body paragraph, I introduced a whole new point and evidence to strengthen my paper. I

also tried to eliminate the use of “be” verbs. Revised to connect to the real world, the closing

demonstrates the connection between Okonkwo’s challenges and the challenges of everyday life.

Overall, the revisions of my thesis and claims, evidence, and analysis create a more effective and

augmentable literary analysis paper.

In The Penelopiad literary analysis paper, I used the suggestions on Turn It In to further

advance my argument. In the introductory paragraph, I improved many vague pronouns to make
them more specific and precise. Instead of using, “they” and “it”, I use specific nouns like “the

Suitors” or “Penelope”. This makes the paper more clear and precise. At the end of the

paragraphs, I adjusted my thesis so that it clearly states the argument. My original thesis was

composed of many sentences. My final thesis contains one, concise, sentence that effectively

presents the argument. In my body paragraphs, I worked to make them less verbose and less

repetitive. I eliminated claims that did not connect to my thesis. I revised the first sentence of the

paragraphs many times so that it clearly informs the reader of the argument while making an

effective claim. I tried to get rid of “be” verbs as well and replaced them with strong active

verbs. In the analysis portion of the paragraphs, I carefully revised the sentences to avoid

redundancy and passive language. Overall, the changes made to the literary analysis paper’s

make a better argument as well as more clear and understandable analysis.

For my creative pieces, I revised the Allegory Map Assignment and I wrote a chapter in

Christopher’s perspective for The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. For the map

assignment, I created a new map that was intertextual. In the map, I compare the challenges that

Okonkwo, Christopher, and Odysseus face. The map has three countries, colored in green. The

one in the bottom right is Nigeria, home of Okonkwo’s village, Umuofia. The one in the top right

is the Mediterranean with countries such as Greece to symbolize Odysseus’s journey. Lastly, the

country on the far left is Great Britain, the home of Christopher. In each country, “fear”, “away

from home”, and “change” exists in bold letters to emphasize the challenges that each of the

protagonists encounter on their journey. Each piece of land encompasses three quotes (one from

each book) that represent the challenges that the protagonist faces.
 For “Fear”, Odysseus fears the wrath of the Gods, Christopher fears his father, and

Okonkwo fears becoming weak and womanly like his father. For these challenges, all the

protagonists must face their fears and be brave to achieve the end goal of their journey.

For “Change”, Odysseus must overcome the change of Ithaca by the Suitors when he

returns home from his journey. Christopher must overcome the change of his father and

adjustment to the fact that he told a big lie. Okonkwo must overcome the change of his tribe after

the Christian missionaries come to Umuofia. The protagonists of each book realize their world is

changing and they all act against it. Odysseus attacks the suitors, Okonkwo attacks the

Europeans, and Christopher leaves his father’s home.

Lastly, the “Away from Home” category symbolizes the challenges that the protagonists

face with being far away from their home. In the Odyssey, Odysseus cries on Kalypso’s island

because he longs to return home after many years. Christopher fears being far away from his

home in an unfamiliar place, alone. Exiled from Umuofia for 7 years, Okonkwo flees to a new

tribe. Each of the protagonists must overcome the challenge of being away from home and they

must be brave and strong to overcome this challenge.

In the middle of the map, there is a triangle that connects all three land masses. Each of

the characters has a figurine; Okonkwo is represented by a mask, Christopher is represented by a

rocket ship, and Odysseus is represented by a boat. With some of my creative skills, I was able to

engineer a poster board so that the figurines can move in a full circle around the map and they

can travel to each continent, representing the challenges that they face during their journey.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time chapter, I wrote in Christopher’s style

and his perspective. In his book, Christopher writes by using very long sentences and sometimes,

they are run-on sentences. Mark Haddon, the author, uses run-on sentences because Christopher
sees all the information at once, therefore, there is no pause for him to absorb all the information.

When there are no periods in a sentence, it is hard to digest the information that you are reading,

just like the information in Christopher’s head. In the chapter, I try to use long sentences so the

reader understands Christopher’s perspective and how his mind works.

In the chapter, I used specific diction and syntax that Christopher would use. For

example, I say “maths” and “I felt like I was going to sick all over the place”. I also used specific

facts and diagrams that Christopher uses to better explain what he is saying.

I am proudest of my District Commissioner paragraph. I enjoyed writing in a new

perspective and viewpoint of the book. I paid close attention to the literary devices used, such as

tone and diction, to emphasize the point of the District Commissioner. The paper that I am most

proud of in my Portfolio is my Things Fall Apart essay. I revised it to have a stronger thesis and

to have stronger verbs. Overall, the original paper compared to the final paper is representative

of how I have grown as a writer. With these revisions, my argument is stronger and proves a

point, rather than being weak and lacking a claim. I worked hard in this paper to eliminate the

“be” verbs and replace them with strong and powerful verbs that make the sentences more

powerful. I enjoyed seeing the original product compared to the final product and I feel as

though it encompasses the ability and potential of my writing, therefore, it deserves the award for

“proudest piece”!

One of the greatest challenges that I faced during the portfolio was making sure my

sentences make sense. Since I am the writer, many parts of my papers make sense to me but may

not make sense to the reader. I often do not recognize this, making my paper’s confusing and

repetitive. Like said earlier, I struggle with choosing strong verbs and making strong claims. The

verbs I often use weaken my paper and take away from the overall literary piece. I revised my
jumbled and confusing claims to inform the reader what they expect to read while also

reinforcing my thesis and evidence. Lastly, I often make sentences in my paper that present other

claims that differ from my thesis. Throughout this portfolio, I worked to carefully revise the

structure of my paragraphs. Overall, the challenges that I face throughout my writing make me a

better writer because I am able to learn from my mistakes.

I believe that 9th grade English has built me a great foundation for writing next year. I

have learned some tips this year that will help me with my writing in the future. For example,

while reading books, I will mark certain passages and quotes that I find interesting. This way, I

can use them in a paper after finishing the book. This year, I learned how to effectively organize

a paragraph with a topic sentence, claim, signal phrase, quote, analysis, and transition phrase.

That format will give me a great template to use next year when making a strong argument.

Lastly, I learned about specific writing styles and literary devices when I am reading books and

writing papers. I am now able to identify things such as tone, diction, similes, purpose, ectara. I

am sad for my 9th grade year to end, but I have learned so much that will make me a better

person. I cannot wait for the years to come. Thank you so much for a fantastic English class and

I really appreciate all that you have done to help me with my writing this past year!!

Sincerely, Linde Fonville