Abilene Kugler

Jackie Burr, Instructor

English 2010, Section 2

11 February 2019

Open Letter Concerning Cosmetics and Men

Dear men of the modern culture,

We all are worthy of respect regardless of what society may tell us. Each individual

desires respect in different forms— for different reasons— but regardless of this, when respect is

received, it is what grants us both confidence and solidarity with ourselves. It may be upsetting

to you to when you recognize that there are so many things, so many simple choices, that you

could affect the level of respect you had once been a host of. That your friends: the ones you’ve

known your whole life, the ones you have just met; the ones that are black, the ones that are

white; the ones that are poor, the ones that are rich; all of them— they may augment the entirety

of their perception of you based on one small decision. I care about all of you so much and

encourage you to look into your own life for figures that do not respect you as I feel you deserve.

I have witnessed so many incredible people that I am personally connected to experience a sort

of social and subjective rejection within their lives. The way to counteract this is to make the

personal decision to not participate in degrading others for participating in anything that you may

not see as traditional. I think there are things that have the capability of drastically improving

confidence and overall happiness but that many stay away from because of the stigma that fellow

men create around it. One example is Self Care. It’s a trendy word right now but the roots of it

are simple and have been practiced since the beginning of humanity. Proof of this is everywhere:

Pharos used make up as a symbol of power according to archaeological finds in Egypt.

 My daily routine as a highschool girl looks something like this: wake up, quickly get

ready, have fun playing with makeup on my face and help myself feel more confident for the

day, go to school, come home, socialize, clean my face, shower, go to bed. There are a few steps

that might look differently from yours which is okay. It is incredible that everyone likes such

unique sets of things and that their confidence emerges in different ways. What’s not ok is when

people only choose to participate in certain things because of a social pressure to remain

exclusively “masculine”.

Male suicide, especially in teens, is staggeringly high. It is the primary cause of death in

teens, beating out even cancer. Many suicides and depressive thoughts originate with an inability

(or feelings of the inability) to be seen and respected for who one’s self is. I’m not saying that all

men need to start up their own makeup and skincare routines, but you should be able to

participate in any sort of regiment or activity that builds your own self confidence without a fear

of rejection. The gender biases that are made under cosmetics contribute to one issue discussed

in a recent study. A study under a School of Social Sciences showed results proving that “Our

understanding, and action to prevent, suicide in men and women must take place in the context

of our gendered social world” (Moore et. al, 1)

Unfortunately, even large companies admit that “Male patients have for a long time been

the forgotten cosmetic customer” (Schlessinger, 1). I have had multiple guy friends in my life

that are affected by forms of acne that they admit affect their self confidence. I was sitting on the

floor with a guy friend recently and our conversation went something like this, “your skin looks

clear,” I said. “Really? I feel like it’s way worse than usual and it’s embarrassing.” I’m so glad

that he felt like he could share with me that it was embarrassing to him because I’m not sure how

many people feel comfortable enough to admit that. The casual statement is true for many men
(even if it’s not said out loud), especially teenagers. Women are socially allowed to use cosmetic

tools to improve their confidence in these situations and feel better about themselves because of

it. According to Richard G. Fried, “[Men have] many motivations and can achieve both

emotional and functional benefits from appropriate esthetic procedures” (2). Of course I am also

an advocate for finding self worth in things other than your physical appearance, but if cosmetic

tools are a good step towards confidence for you, I would never want any sort of stigma to play a

part in preventing this.

Even basic forms of self care that may not be so instantly noticeable, you may not feel are

accessible to you without judgement from peers. Though some aspects of this are not part of

most women’s (including my own) daily routines, procedures like exfoliating or using a face

mask are branded as inherently feminine. Even things that are nothing more than simply hygiene

related such as using face wash daily have been misperceived as abnormal for men. Though

maybe the results of it are not instantaneous, if face wash is used over periods of time it can

prevent dermal flaws and blemishes that may lower esteem in some individuals.

Aside from confidence building and skin care, cosmetics are often used as a form of self

expression. Having creative outlets available in your life is so important. Regardless of what

someone’s outlet is, many times it allows them to express emotions, evoke happiness, and even

tell their stories that might not otherwise be released. The choice to self express with the use of

cosmetics should not be something that is judged. Even if a someone’s form of creativity isn’t

suited to our personal tastes, it doesn’t make them less deserving of our respect. Witnessing the

expression of the people around us gives us a chance to learn more about them, appreciate their

talents, and understand what they need.

 I challenge you to notice times when you or your friends judging others for participating

in inherently feminine things, whether it is cosmetic or related to basic self care. Remember any

times that your confidence has been affected by physical appearance. You should feel free of any

restrictive society pressures and are able to do what makes you feel best about yourself. You

deserve complete respect, and so do they. This respect should not be dictated by small personal

decisions. You have the power to try and stop the stigma around male cosmetics by supporting

your friends when they try it and by allowing yourself to fearlessly experiment with cosmetics as

well.
 Works Cited

Fried, Richard G. “Esthetic Treatment Modalities in Men: Psychologic Aspects of Male

Cosmetic Patients.” Dermatologic Therapy, vol. 20, no. 6, Nov. 2007, pp. 379–384.

EBSCOhost, doi:10.1111/j.1529-8019.2007.00152.x.

Schlessinger, Joel. “Skin Care for Men and Its Marketing.” Dermatologic Therapy, vol. 20, no.

6, Nov. 2007, pp. 452–456. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1111/j.1529-8019.2007.00161.x.

Moore, Fhionna, et al. “The Gender Suicide Paradox under Gender Role Reversal during

Industrialisation.” PLoS ONE, Aug. 2018, pp. 1–10. EBSCOhost,

doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0202487.