Becoming Married Jane

Study Guide

During this study, I ask that you commit to the following

activities:

1. Start each day in prayer, learning to quiet your thoughts in

exchange for God’s thoughts.

2. I want you to lay down anything that is bothering you and lay
down anything that you don’t understand. This is your time to seek
peace in your household. When you are doing your part to care for
your man, God blesses the household with peace that no one can
attempt to understand. As the saying goes, prayer changes things.

3. Commit to completing the study. It’s designed to reveal

truths about yourself and your man. There isn’t one area that God
doesn’t see and completing the activities will help you to walk in
peace while God moves behind the scenes.

4. Ask a married friend to walk through this with you or create

or join a small group in your area. To review a list of BMJ small group
leaders in your area, visit bemarriedjane.weebly.com

Lastly, feel free to grab additional paper as there may not be

enough room for you to record your responses.

With Love and Happy Discovering,

Joelise Tillman-Josey
Founder of Becoming Married Jane
 Love Discussion and Activities
I. What are your thoughts about this chapter?
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II. In your opinion, what is love?

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III. What are three things that you admire most about your man?
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Week 1 Activity: Build Him Up

Each day this week, think of a way to build him up by telling him what you
love about him. I started doing this in my marriage and saw my man stand
up a little taller. It’s easy to tear men down but not easy to build them up.
Dig deep and practice building him up this week.

IV. Write about your experience at the end of the week. Be ready to discuss
with your small group!
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 Marriage Vows Discussion and Activities
I. What are your thoughts about your marriage vows and the promises you
made to God and to your man?
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II. What is one way that you have loved your man according to your
marriage vows?
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III. Why can it be challenging to keep your marriage vows?

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Week 2 Activity: Reignite Night

Watch a few wedding vow videos on YouTube. Choose one to show your
man. Invite him to watch the video with you. If he turns down your
invitation, don’t press the question again and don’t get upset. Pray for him
and watch God begin to soften his heart.

IV. Write about your experience at the end of the week. Be ready to discuss
with your small group!
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 Intimacy Discussion and Activities
I. What are your thoughts about sex with your man?
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II. What stops you from responding to his overtures to love you in this
way?
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III. How do you like to be pleased in this area and have you communicated
this to your man?
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Week 3 Activity: It’s Time for the Perculator!

This is the name of a song I used to dance to years ago. It’s fun and will
keep you moving with every dance move possible. It causes you to get
creative and represents in a fun way what intimacy with your man can be.
This week find fun and sexy ways to satisfy your man, no matter how you
feel. Remember, if he’s satisfied in this area, communicating with him will
be easier.

IV. Write about your experience at the end of the week. Be ready to discuss
with your small group!
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 Children Discussion and Activities
I. How do you and your man parent together?
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II. What struggles are you experiencing with balancing time for children
and time for your man?
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III. Do you and your man know your child’s love languages?
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Week 4 Activity: Alice in Wonderland

Tending to you man and to your children can be a bit overwhelming and
everyday can seem like a new experience. Alice was dazed and confused
when entering Wonderland but was ready for an adventure. This week’s
assignment is simple, don’t complain. When tempted, lean into the
adventure of loving on your man and raising a beautiful family.

IV. Write about your experience at the end of the week. Be ready to discuss
with your small group!
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 Money and Your Mate Discussion and Activities
I. What is your financial dream for your family?
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II. Is your man aware of the financial dream you have?

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III. How often do you discuss finances with your man?

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Week 5 Activity: Your Enterprise

Your home is an enterprise or business. In Proverbs 31, women are praised

for their ability to manage the household wisely. This week read Proverbs
31: 10-31. Create a plan based on what you read on things you can do to
improve the financial outlook of your household. (Hint: she is a modern-
day stock trader and invests in real estate!) Present your plan to your man.

IV. Write about your experience at the end of the week. Be ready to discuss
with your small group!
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 Girlfriends Discussion and Activities
I. What do you enjoy most about your closest girlfriends?
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II. What are your girlfriends’ views on marriage?

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III. Has your man mentioned any of your girlfriends that he is not fond of?
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Week 6 Activity: Tending Your Garden

There comes a time in every woman’s life when friendship seasons change.
As confusing and hurtful as it may be, your man will be the one who will
not change with the seasons. This week look at your garden. Determine if
you have cared for your man with the same care you have shown your
girlfriends. Also begin to dig up friendships that are showing signs of loose
roots.

IV. Write about your experience at the end of the week. Be ready to discuss
with your small group!
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 Disagreements Discussion and Activities
I. Who generally must have the last word during disagreements?
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II. How have you resolved disagreements with your man?

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III. Is it easy for you to forgive and forget after a disagreement with your
man?
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Week 7 Activity: Pointing Fingers

When disagreements arise, we tend to point fingers and expect our men to
understand why we feel wronged. But have you noticed that when you
point a finger of blame, three fingers are aimed back at you? This week,
when tempted to become offended by something your man has done, don’t
react. Write down your frustrations and what you want to say to him and
rewrite it placing yourself in his shoes. Find a time to communicate the
updated version of your frustrations to him.

IV. Write about your experience at the end of the week. Be ready to discuss
with your small group!
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 Date Nights Discussion and Activities
I. What is your idea of an enjoyable date night?
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II. How did your husband treat you differently when you were dating versus
now?
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III. Considering you and your man’s schedule, what is a good day for date
nights?
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Week 8 Activity: Language of Love

Gary Chapman has expertly put together a quiz to help couples define how
they like to be loved. Discovering this knowledge has worked wonders in
my marriage. This week, plan a night with your husband to take the love
languages quiz by typing the following web address into your browser-
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/couples/. Begin to practice
meeting your man’s love language.

IV. Write about your experience at the end of the week. Be ready to discuss
with your small group!
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 Prayer Discussion and Activities
I. How have you seen God answer your prayers for your man?
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II. What do you want God to change in your marriage?

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III. What keeps you from praying for your man as you should?
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Week 9 Activity: Honor Your King

God has lovingly placed a lover, protector, and provider in your care. Your
man is a physical representation of a king and your prayers will ensure he
is strong to lead you. This week, before you begin to pray for your needs,
pray for your man. Give God praise for him until you feel grateful for him
being in your life. We do not always feel love for our men, but prayer fills us
with love for them because their well being depends on our prayers.

IV. Write about your experience at the end of the week. Be ready to discuss
with your small group!
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