Tang 1

Wenqing (Ary) Tang

Professor Marie Webb

Ling 12

05 Jun 2019

Psycho Path

Sometimes it feels like I have a super power called “knowing

a lot more people who have mental problems than others.”

—Ary Tang

In China, people are not exposed to psychology very often. Psychological counseling is

also considered as peculiar to a minority of people. Students don’t usually have the chance to

know about psychology as a science until some of them choose it as their major in college, while

in the US, students can take psychology classes at some high schools. Around the age of

fourteen, I had my first contact with psychology and psychological counseling—a little bit earlier

than that of normal people under my cultural background.

Since seventh grade, I have known my classmate Eva. She was a fine art student back

then who had really uneasy early ages. She used to tell me this story that her best friend who

grew up with her died in elementary school because of pneumonia and she said she had some

kind of mental problems ever since then. After I learned her story, I started to become interested

in her and her mental conditions, and wanted to be close to her. Little did I know that my

decision to be friends with her changed my life and affected my understanding of psychology,

which later caused me to choose psychology as my major when I applied for college.

Fine art students were not any popular groups in Chinese schools, especially in middle
 Tang 2

schools, where everyone works so hard to earn a spot in a famous high school for themselves,

and also for their families. Fine art students, though, were treated like those rich, exceptional

people who could escape all the pressure from entrance examinations by drawing their little

pictures, and Eva was no exception. However, having a great interest in art and drawing, I have

always been easily attracted by gifted artists, plus I felt sorry about the truth that there

weren’t many kids who wanted to be close to fine art students. These reasons made me and Eva

good friends at the beginning.

However, things changed later on. During the first year of middle school, there was an art

festival and each class was asked to hand in two paintings to participate in the competition. Since

I have been practicing drawing as a hobby on my own, I signed up as a participant and handed in

my work. Eva also participated in the competition. The results came out very delightfully that

both of our arts won prizes for our class. The art teacher even praised my work especially and

wanted me to participate in competitions in the district. But Eva was not happy about this kind of

appreciation that the teacher gave to me. She began to tell me about how fierce the competition

between fine art students could be, and blamed me for “taking away her educational resource,”

which is, according to her, the art teacher’s attention.

Even though she didn’t like me for a period of time, I still had some sort of pity for Eva

because of what happened to her in our class. When she was bullied by the boys in our class and

her sketchbook was torn apart for fun, I got very angry and warned those boys for it. When she

was once asked to read her essay in class about difficulties being a fine art student, she stood at

the front of the room, pouring out her sadness, and I was sitting in my seat, crying along with
 Tang 3

her. I hoped that all of these things I did for her could make her understand that I really cared

about her and wished to help her.

My own wishful thinking didn’t make her hate me less. She talked to my friends and

somehow made them dislike me together with her. There was a time that I felt like there was no

one to turn to. My colored pencils were lost; my wallet was hidden and later found in another

student’s bag; various rumors about me were spread on purpose. I was really frustrated and asked

Eva why.

“You have basically betrayed me by practicing drawing!” Eva told me with a ruthless

look on her face.

“Drawing is just my hobby. I’m never going to be a fine art student in the future!” I tried

so many times clarifying. I even wrote a letter to tell her not to worry about me stealing her art

teachers, but none of the communication worked.

Fortunately, in middle school, we had a mental health class. The teacher taught us about

basic psychology in daily life and the class content was very attractive to me. She was the person

that I would go and talk to when I felt down. She had this nice little office all the way down the

hallway where I could sit in the armchair, relax myself, and enjoy afternoon sunlight quietly. She

was a tender, sensitive person and had great empathy with others. What's most important is that

she gave me great support. She would listen to me and give me important advice about things

that I couldn’t tell other people. For a time I thought that counselors were just what she was like:

a lady with slight build and glasses on her face, yet looks really reliable and understanding.

During the time I spent with her, I found for the first time that it could be really great to be with

someone who knows psychology.

 Tang 4

However, my first acquaintance with psychology didn’t end there. After knowing Eva

and my mental health teacher, I knew something about what psychology was and developed an

interest in it. But I have never thought about treating psychology as something I might study

academically for the rest of my life. Incidents happened then changed the course of my life even

more.

During eighth grade I had a boyfriend. Having a relationship with someone of the

opposite sex before eighteen was strictly forbidden both in my family and at my school. But I

didn’t know about it. I had been happy for a while, but the teacher who was in charge of our

class knew about our violation of the rules soon because there were enough number of students

who disliked me and turned me in. My mom also found out about it somehow. She seriously

requested me to break up with my boyfriend, and I had no choice because the teacher had also

talked to my boyfriend back then.

I was depressed for a long time. I had no friends at school, and the teacher and my mom

didn’t like me. My mom tried to unlock my phone and read my messages secretly. Sometimes

she blamed me for letting her down, and I won’t forget those words in my whole life.

One time my mom yelled at me, “You are such a black sheep!” All I could do was stand

in front of her quietly and try not to weep.

Once she even woke me up at night and asked me the combination to my phone. All the

things she did made me constantly had this feeling that she was spying on me. I didn’t even feel

safe and comfortable at home. Since my father was not always in town those years, I felt that my

mom was being hysterical, and so was I. I cried for days and hurt myself with knives, and I was

even more ashamed when my mom found my arm full of scars.

 Tang 5

The internet was pretty much my only way to convey my feelings besides going to the

“counseling” that the mental health teacher offered me. Although I had terrible experiences and

my mood couldn’t be cheered up for a long time after the break up, I didn’t know much about

mental diseases until I had constant access to the internet in ninth grade. It was through the

internet I met more people with different degrees of mental illnesses. It even seemed to me that I

could communicate better with those who have mental issues than with normal people because

we understood each others’ sorrows and connected with each others’ thoughts.With these friends

I gained knowledge about mental illnesses at an early age, and understood how serious

psychological disorders can affect one’s life.

That was the story of how I had an earlier contact with psychology and psychological

counseling than others. Maybe it was karma or something. Because of some fellow students I

met in middle school, I expressed my first interest in psychology. Because of my bitter

experience back then, I have been through a period of depression since around the age of

fourteen. Because of the depression at that time, I had an early connection with psychological

counseling offered by our mental health teacher in my middle school. But all of these hardships

didn’t drive me away from psychology when I got out from middle school. Instead, my

experience encouraged me to know more people who have mental issues from the internet, and

gave me qualification to empathize with them. Even, I chose psychology as my major when I

applied for universities. I think that from my perspective now, I need to thank every person I met

who pushed me toward the path of psychology directly or indirectly.

Many of my friends whom I knew on the internet still keep in touch with me now, but not

all of them are always doing very well. In fact, one of them just tried to kill herself weeks ago.
 Tang 6

Every time this happens, I realize how urgent it is to popularize psychological knowledge and let

more people know how to recognize mental diseases and help themselves as early as possible.

Meanwhile, I believe it’s also important to make educators like parents and teachers, whose

behavior might influence a kid’s life forever in either bad or good ways, to guide children

correctly. My past experiences motivate me to drive forward, and I’m excited for my career in

psychology.
 Tang 7

April 26, 2019

Ary Tang
University of California, Santa Barbara
Goleta, CA93106

Dear Ary:

You have been through some tough early experiences which somehow led you to choose
psychology as your major. Because of the fellow students you have met in middle school, you
had a bitter experience, developed a period of depression, and ended up having an early
connection with psychological counseling around the age of fourteen. However, it was because
of your experience with psychology that you were encouraged to choose it as your major. Now
that you have successfully gotten into college as a psychology and brain science major, it is
important to make plans to enhance your practical skills besides in-class performance so that you
are better prepared for further academic success. Here are some strategies that are worthy of
trying, including participating in clubs and engaging in part-time jobs.

This quarter you have had some involvement with the Society of Undergraduate Psychologists
(SUP). You have been to the first club meeting this quarter and followed their official Facebook
page. You have learned about this club and I think it is a good beginning. You know that clubs
can provide you numerous assistance such as academic help, leadership improvement, and
internship services, which are not that easy to get from other places on the campus. Thus, I hope
that you could apply for membership and attend club meetings as often as possible. Since there
are a lot of good resources the club can offer, I hope that you can make good use of them. For
instance, a psychology club can let you periodically participate in activities with professors in
your major and give you opportunities to chat with them face to face. Hence, it is beneficial to
seize the chance and build constant connections with professors who are attached to the club. Let
them know more about you during club activities because getting along with professors can
always help by gaining advice. In the personal memoir, ​Lab Girl​, written by Hope Jahren, an
award-winning scientist, Jahren shows her gratitude because her undergraduate professors gave
her advice to continue studying and apply for a Ph.D. (54). Her professor knew that it would be a
good advice for Jahren because they were familiar with her great interest in the professors'
research laboratories. If Jahren had not worked in her professors’ labs and had not build a good
relationship with them, she could never attain such important advice. As a result, Jahren took
their advice and finally got not only free tuition but also an extra stipend (54). Similarly, Jahren
developed her dissertation topic with the help of her advising professor when she was struggling
for her Ph.D. thesis (73). The assistance her advisor offered her fostered her success developing
the analysis. Thus I think it is also helpful for you to be close with experienced and especially
academically successful people like your professors because from them you can obtain valuable
suggestions that cannot be gained from your other friends or families. Since it is necessary for a
psychology major to go on to graduate school so that he or she can be more competent in
academia, you have numerous decisions to make in the future just like what Jahren had to make.
When it comes to decisions about whether to apply for Ph.D. or not, and topics for your
dissertation paper, have a professor or advisor who knows both you and your field well enough
 Tang 8

to give you advice is really important.

Besides the professors, you can also network with other psychology major peers as much as
possible in SUP. I know this could be hard for you because you always get nervous when talking
to people you do not know. But as Jahren believes, “in the right place, under the right conditions,
you can finally stretch out into what you’re supposed to be” (31). The club has already rendered
you the perfect place and the perfect condition where the officers organized ice-breaking
activities, so you should try valiantly to talk to people and network with everybody. This could
be a great chance for you to practice communicating with people and also learn from them
because you have plenty to learn from other club members as a freshman. Not only other
students who are in higher level than you, there are also mentors who are graduate students that
can guide you through college years. You can join the mentorship program in SUP so that you
will have a mentor to talk to when you have academic as well as life problems that need to be
dealt with. Furthermore, when you feel comfortable and competent in the club, maybe try to run
for an officer position which could really help you gain good experience and prepare you with a
competent resume. Since you are always ready to assist others, being a secretary might be
suitable for you. You will be the person who makes event schedules for the club and writes
meeting reports. These tasks may improve your time management, plan-making skills and the
ability to record the minutes and to write reports. Remember, getting into a club is similar to
getting into a tiny society, it will prepare you from every aspect before you finally enter the real
world.

Another strategy that might be really crucial to your academic success is to engage in part time
jobs or volunteer activities. According to Jahren​,​ getting a part time job can help you know more
about this field that you are working in. Jahren claims that she has held about ten part time jobs
during her college years at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, among all of which she
gives the most detailed description of the job in a hospital pharmacy(32). Similarly, you can
apply to work in departments like student counseling center. Also, you may prepare for being a
clinical social worker if you want to go deep into clinical or counseling psychology because
working as a clinical social worker allows you to gain a better understanding of clinical
psychology. From the job in the university hospital which a girl in Jahren’s chemistry class
recommended her, Jahren learned how to prepare and deliver medications for patients as well as
how each nursing station works in detail (33). These precious on site experiences about your
major area can only be acquired by actually working in a job that is closely related to your field.
One cannot simply learn them from classrooms and textbooks. Moreover, when you look for
employment, these practical experiences can also make your resume look better.

All in all, psychology is a science that is closely related to real life. If you want to have a
promising future in the field of psychology, it is not adequate to just focus on grades and in-class
performance. Preparing for the real world is equally beneficial. Seize your chances and make
good use of resources you can get, and you will earn what you deserve.

Sincerely,
 Tang 9

Ary Tang
University of California, Santa Barbara
Goleta, CA93106
 Tang 10

Works Cited

​ intage Books​,​ 2017.

Jahren, Hope. ​Lab Girl. V