9457 Monte Carlo Method

Student’s
Blueprint
for Success
A Student’s Guide to Success
Life Skills Development
Dipankar Biswas
Life Coach & Corporate Trainer
Life Management Academy

www.lifemanagementacademy.com
Copy right © 2010 by Life Management Academy
This book is copyright under the Berne Convention.

No reproduction without permission.
All rights reserved, including the right of
reproduction in whole or in part in any form.
International Standard Book Number (ISBN) : 978-81-908156-2-8
Published by
Life Management Academy
15- 105, Gurumurthi Nagar,
Balanagar (Opp: IDPL Colony)
Hyderabad, India – 500037
Ph: +91- 9989675936
www.lifemanagementacademy.com
Printed and bound in India by

Sri Balaji Graphics
# 7, 3- 1- 218, Opp: Manju Theatre,
Secunderabad, India.
Pin Code - 500003
“The highest possible stage in human culture
is when we recognise that we ought to control
our thoughts.”
Charles Darwin 1809- 1882 Naturalist
If we want to change the society, organisation or our family for

betterment then we are to change the mind set,
i.e. thoughts of the people.
Most difficult task in human life is to conquer self. If you can

conquer yourself, you can conquer the world. If you want
to conquer yourself, then you have to conquer your mind.
Mastering our mind is the most difficult job, but most satisfying
accomplishment in one’s life time.
Here you are to conquer your mind.
Content
Author’s Preface 01
Acknowledgement 03
Introduction 05
Our mind is the root cause of all challenges 09
Three kinds of Students: Victims, Aggressors and Creators 15
Four basic traits needed to succeed in our lives 27
Analyze yourself 29
The master key to your growth is awareness about yourself 29
How to progress in life? 35
What is the main cause of health disorder? 36
Create your Blueprint 39
Organise yourself: Time Management 53
Thought X Knowledge X Action = Attitude 69
Success Pyramid 73
Secret of Happiness: Maintaining good relationships 77
Character is more important than Intelligence 83
Be an Effective Communicator 97
How to control our mind? 105
Stress Management: Strategy to Clean the Mind 107
If you want peace, be ready for war 115
How to deal with criticism? 121
6 Student’s Blueprint for Success
Student’s Guide to Success 1
Preface
Ever since my first book: ‘9 Secrets, the Ultimate Success Strategies’

was released, most of the readers of the book have asked me to
make a student edition. This book is the result of encouragement
and inspiration from the readers of my first book. They felt this kind
of book will help the current generation to shape up their career.
Strategy is a bundle of actions to be taken to achieve a goal. Goal is

your blueprint for success. Unless we have a plan or blueprint to
construct a building we will not get a constructive result. Therefore
it’s essential to have a written goal to construct our career. The most
important goal of any student is to pass out from their respective
institutes with flying colours. In this book you have all the strategies
to be successful in your student days and in your
career thereafter.
If you want to play a game, you need to be aware of

the rules of the game. Then only you can play the
game well and enjoy. You have to accept your role
that you have been given to play. Are you ready to
accept the role of a student or getting carried away
by movie heroes?
The student period of our life is to create a

foundation so that we can grow with strong roots.
Most students are looking for immediate results.
And it takes time to set roots.
Bamboo takes four to five years to set its root

before it comes out to grow. Once it comes out on
the ground, it grows 4 to 6 inches a day. While you
are setting your roots you may not have enough
time to interact with friends and participate in every fun activity.

Friends may start teasing you as a fool. People who ever achieved
extraordinary results in their lives, were initially criticized or labelled
as fools; because only they could see their long-term outcome or
vision.
The fear of criticism is one of the biggest obstacles in

the path of success. Criticism is your feedback that
you are going to be an extraordinary person in the
future. Coal had to go through extreme temperatures
and pressure to become a diamond.
You are a rough diamond; dealing with criticism

is polishing the diamond that is you. Wish you all success in your
student life and thereafter.
Acknowledgement
This book is the result of encouragement and inspiration from the
readers of my first book, ‘9 Secrets, the Ultimate Success Strategies’.
I am grateful to them for their support.
I am deeply grateful to Mr P V S Ravindra Varma for his moral

support and encouragement by providing me a place to sit and
write this student’s edition. Without his support, it would have
taken more time to realise this dream.
I am thankful to Mr M G Sankara Pillai and Mr P Sheshanjaneyulu

for their valuable contributions in my journey through their
constant encouragement and support to publish this book.
I am grateful to Mr Srinivas Gaud of Balaji Graphics for his support

in publishing this book and graphic designer Mr Premanandam for
his valuable inputs.
The others I need to express my gratitude for all their support

during my crucial days include Mr Abhay Rao, Mr Basawaraju, Mr
Subramanya Prasad, Mr Hanumanth Rao and Mr Sharanappa.
Last but not the least, I am grateful to all the members of my

relations and my wife for their constant support.
Introduction
Whatever I have mentioned in this book is nothing new. As we feed
our body, we need to feed our mind to remind us the task to be
carried on- to be a successful student. It’s not what is presented in
this book, but how it is presented that’s very important. Some of the
topics need deeper understanding. Please go through those topics
twice for more clarity.
Every student wants to become someone successful but how many

become what they wanted to become? Later some students will
not like themselves just before the examination; or just before the
examination results to be declared; and after passing out of their
college due to non-selection for a job. Even some of the students
are committing suicide due to their internal communication, “I
hate myself ” or “I feel like committing suicide”.
Let’s analyze- who hates whom or who is killing whom? I hate

myself; that means ‘I’ and ‘myself’ are two
different entities. ‘I’ is what you wanted to
become and ‘myself’ is what you are right
now. Let’s understand ‘body’ and ‘mind’
are two different entities. It’s the mind
which controls the body. You have to act
on your mind. You have to visualise in
your mind what are the end results you
want to achieve as a student.
You may not like to get up early morning

or exercise in the morning or study. But
if you can remember and visualise the
benefit of getting up early morning or the
benefit of exercise and study; and tell your
mind “I will get up early in the morning/ I will exercise for my health
and fitness/ I will study to do well in my examination.” You will
change your acts as your thoughts become stronger and stronger.
Do you want to control yourself or you want to be controlled by
others?
It’s very important how we communicate to ourselves, because
first we communicate to ourselves, and then we communicate to
individual or address a group. We communicate and act on the basis
of our values, beliefs, thoughts and knowledge on the subject. Every
student will be imparted the same knowledge. But few of them will
be successful. Why?
When you say, “I want to become”; you rarely become. If you notice
when you say, “I will become”, you become that person, as there
is affirmation and belief in your communication. Our mind is a
superb instrument or you can say super computer if we know how
to use it rightly. But in most of the cases we don’t use the mind,
in other words the mind uses us. Everything is a consequence of
our thoughts. We become what we think about ourselves more
often. The values we carry give us our character. Commitment,
character and intelligence are far more important than your
formal education.
Every student has a dream and dreams turn
into fantasy if we don’t get the proper
guidance at the appropriate time to take the
appropriate action. Now the question is:
What is the difference between a dream
and a fantasy?
The dream is a goal or blueprint with a due
date. If you work towards your dream, you
will be able to realise it. The fantasy is a dream with no due date
or where the due date has expired. Suppose you wanted to be a

cricketer but you are at such a stage in your life, it can’t be achieved.
So whenever you see a player is playing well, you visualise as if you
are playing the game. You get totally involved in the game.
Most of the time students fantasise instead of acting towards their
dream, “I wish I could have played like Dhoni or I wish I could have
danced like Hrithik Roshan.” But very few will take constructive
steps towards achieving their goals. Nothing is impossible when
you split your goal into small steps and work everyday towards your
goal.
If you want to be a Doctor or an Engineer, or a Scientist, you can
become, if you put your efforts. Research has proved that we use
less than 10% of our intelligence. But again the question comes why
do we use less than 10% of our intelligence?
You got a bike or a car which you brought
to your college and one of your classmates
placed a small scratch. How will you feel?
You will feel very bad. Am I right?
Whenever you get scratches on your body, are you that serious?
Rarely!
Why is that? Because our body comes to us
free of cost.!
Most of the precious things on this earth come to us

free of cost: our body, mind and intelligence. As our
intelligence came to us free of cost, we take it for granted;
otherwise every student has the capability to excel.
This book will help you to create your blueprint, shape up your life,
decide your destiny and design your success.
Our Mind is the root cause of

all challenges
Whenever anything goes against our interest we feel unhappy as we
are attached to our views and beliefs. We can’t bear any criticism
and are not willing to accept that others may have different views.
If someone does something wrong or speaks bad about us, we
use all our effort to prove that he/she is wrong. Even we try to
destroy others when it goes beyond our tolerance limit. But how
many people can you change or control or destroy? You may have
to spend more energy to change or control others. But if you look
inwardly towards yourself, you will be spending time and energy to
control one person only. That’s you. Which is better?
There is nothing wrong in blaming and everyone is right according

to their perceptions. But at the end of the day who is suffering?
How many people or situations can you control? Can you have total
control on outside people or situations? ‘The only person you can
have total control is you, if you want’. But do you have?
Let’s take an example that we face daily in our life, traffic jams. You
want to reach your destination in time but got stuck in a traffic jam.
Most of us feel frustrated and angry, as
we are not able to reach in time. It’s the
truth that you cannot be in time to
your destination. Suppose you are to
make a presentation when you reach
your school. Will you be able to make
a good presentation? You will be
carrying all the anger and frustration
with you. It’s going to affect your
presentation. Instead of being reactive
you can be observant. You can call your institute or friend to let
them know that you will be late and apologise for the delay. Promise
yourself and to other members that next time you will start earlier
to be in time. That’s under your control. Otherwise you will be out
of the team.
Now, you can observe what’s happening in you and around you at
the traffic signal. You can observe the situation and other people
around you, how they are reacting to the situation. We go to watch
movies like ‘Traffic Signal’* by paying for the ticket; now you
are watching a live movie with out a ticket. Next time when you
get stuck in a traffic signal if you can practise what is mentioned
above, you have already got more than enough value of this
book. “Can you be more observant than reactive from today?”
(*“Traffic Signal” is a Bollywood Hindi movie directed by Madhur Bhandarkar)
If you want to score good marks in the examination and pass out
with flying colours, all the facilities are available to you if you look
around. But usually we blame teachers, parents, friends and others
for our mistakes and in the long run we become victim to our own
justifications.
If you want to control a situation or your life, you need to control

and manage yourself. The
root cause of all challenges
is the mind. If you can
conquer your mind, you
can conquer the world. This
book will give you a crystal
clear picture to control your
mind, control your
thoughts, control your
actions and control your
destiny.
Success Action Exercise - A
Q. In the last 7 days how often you said “I know”?
A.__________________________________________
Q. How often have you been reactive rather than observant? Please
describe a situation.
A. __________________________________________
Q. Describe a situation when you have been observant and the

learning from the observation.
A.__________________________________________
Instruction to yourself:
I will take out 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the

evening to sit in a comfortable position.
Then I will close my eyes and observe
my natural breath. Different thought
will come to me. Let the thought come
and let the thought go; as if I am the
host and my thoughts are my guests.
There are no bad thoughts or good
thoughts, every thought is a thought. I
will be only observant without being
judgemental. To avoid distractions I
will ask permission from people around
me not to disturb for next 15 minutes and put a reminder alarm for
15 minutes. (Meditation)
Some people cannot accept silence. When you are in silence, your
conscience takes over. The cloud of compulsive thoughts start
clearing for the conscience to come up. We see our true self. We
can see our egoic self. To face our true self we need strong courage.
Very few people have got that courage and avoid facing true self
by diverting mind in other activities like watching TV, addiction
to alcohol or tobacco or excess eating and many other activities.
You ask yourself, which activity you take up to avoid silence and to
avoid your true self?
BLAME GAME:
This is the story about four people named Everybody,

Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important
assignment to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody
would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s
assignment. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but
Nobody realized that Everybody would not do it. It ended up
that Everybody blamed Somebody, when actually Nobody
accused Anybody
Personal Notes
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Three kinds of Students:

Victims, Aggressors and
Creators
“The highest possible stage in human culture is when we recognise
that we ought to control our thoughts.”
Charles Darwin (1809- 1882), Naturalist
In an educational institute on the basis of thoughts all the students

can be categorized into three different categories. They are Victims,
Aggressors and Creators. The three different thoughts are Lay
blame, Justification and Responsibility. When we don’t get the
desired result, we tend to blame situations, circumstances or other
persons. The students who blame others or justify for their failures,
in the long run become victims of their own creation. They may
escape from immediate punishment but they victimise themselves
and later on suffer for their own deeds. The student, who takes
responsibility of his actions becomes the creator of his own destiny.
Have you ever noticed that some students pass through life blaming
everyone else for why their life is the way it is? If they don’t get a
desired result, they will blame situation, circumstances or other
person.
If a student does not get a job, whom does he blame first?
His own parents, ‘I can’t get a job because I was not sent to a good
English Medium Public School.”
If he was sent to a good English medium public school, he will be

blaming the teacher’s; “Teachers were not good.” Then he will blame
the govternment, “most of the government jobs are gone.” Even he
will blame the interviewers. The interviewers are not competent
enough to take the interview.
According to our perception there is nothing wrong in blaming. We

learn ‘blaming’ from our environment. Our political leaders teach
us to blame others. When there is any mistake in them, they will
blame the other political parties.
If I keep on blaming everyone and take least effort to know and

rectify myself; who is suffering? It’s me; I become victim of my own
creation. I victimise myself. Once I was taking a programme with
a mixed crowd and there were some govt officials. One of the govt
officials who in his 50s and he was arguing with me. “What’s wrong
in blaming, when our ministers can play the blaming game?”
I said, nothing wrong, even one day I was also playing the same game
till I opened my eyes. You can also play the same game if you think
that you are right. Everyone is right according to his perception.
Even a mad person is right.
Whenever we point out a finger toward anyone, how many fingers

point out towards us?
Then you get another kind of students who justify their failures. As
we grow up, we develop ego unconsciously. We have difficulties to
acknowledge our failure. Most of us try to prove that ‘I am right”
by hook or by crook. If a student comes late, he will justify his late
coming due to traffic jams or a late bus. If you question him, he will
get aggressive to prove he is right. To make up for one lie, there will
be another five lies. I call them aggressors. But who is missing the
classes and who has to write the exams?
There is another category of student who takes responsibility of his

every action. A responsible student acknowledges his late coming,
“Sorry I came late today; I will make sure that I take the previous
bus tomorrow to come in time. If he takes the previous bus he may
come 25 minutes before the class timing. These 25 minutes he can
relax with some deep breathing exercise and read book. He can
prepare his lessons for the day so that he does not have to break his
head before the exams.
There is no power in life unless a person takes full Responsibility for

his/her actions. Bad things happen to us in life but we can choose
how we react to the situation. ’It’s not what happens - it’s what you
do about it’
The most empowering position is to be a CREATOR. To say

“I am Responsible for my Life and I will choose how I react to
any situation so that it does not control me”. The most powerful
students are Creators - they acknowledge their mistakes and
choose their Future. Only human being can change their
destiny by changing attitude.
Some of our current time creators are Dr. Shah Faesal, IAS topper,
Mohammed Gouse Jani from Visakhapatnam, 2010 Eamcet topper;
Dr. Manmohan Singh, Hritik Roshan , Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam and
Baraka Obama,. They all came out of extreme challenges in their

life to become some of the shinning diamonds of our society. There
are many more, I have listed only few of them here.
Dr. Shah Faesal is the IAS topper 2010. His family moved to
Srinagar from Sogam village in Kupwara after
brutal murder of his father in 2003. His father
Ghulam Rasool was a schoolteacher and well-
known personality in the village. He fell prey
to militants’ bullets without any reason. Fasal’s
mother is also a schoolteacher and she said, “I
am happy that he achieved his dream.”
Mohammed Gouse Jani from Visakhapatnam, topper of this
year’s Eamcet lost his elder brother just months before the
Eamcet exams. His father earns a couple of hundred rupees
driving an auto and his mother works in neighbourhood houses.
He scored a staggering 159 marks out of 160, the highest marks
in the engineering stream. He thanked his teacher Mr. Narayana
for giving him free education to complete his studies. He studied
10 hours a day for the exams. The lack of basic amenities in life
did not deter him from dreaming of becoming an engineer. He
dedicates his success to his parents.
If you are playing cricket, when the tough ball comes, do you
leave the crease or ask your team mate to play the game? If you
leave the tough ball, you can’t think of going to a higher level in
your team.
Same way tough situations come in everyone’s life. How do you

overcome them and become a successful person depends on
the qualities. Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. In
everyone’s life opportunity comes in the form of tough situations.
But very few have got the foresight to take up those challenges as
opportunity. Who ever have become successful had to go through

these challenges to be an achiever.
Dr. Manmohan Singh is the country’s 14th prime minister,
a man of high moral standing and accomplishment, is also
the first Sikh to have reached the country’s
top legislative position. He was born on
26 September 1932, in Gah, Punjab (now
in Chakwal District,Pakistan).
At the dawn of Independent India

in 1947, Manmohan Singh, aged 13,
displaced by the partition, came to live
with his parents in Amritsar from Gah. “In the early days, his
family faced great problems due to poverty. His father had
a petty job, and some days it was so bad, there wasn’t even
bread in the house to eat. He used to go to school barefeet.
They didn’t have electricity in the house, so he studied under
a street lamp. Very often his family had to go to bed hungry
for want of money.”
Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam the 11th President of India was born on 15th
October 1931 at Rameswaram in Tamil Nadu,
India. Dr. Kalam is one of the most distinguished
scientists of India with the unique honour of
receiving honorary doctorates from 30
universities and institutions. He has been
awarded the coveted civilian awards - Padma
Bhushan (1981) and Padma Vibhushan (1990)
and the highest civilian award Bharat Ratna (1997). He is recipient
of several other awards and Fellow of many professional institutions.
He specialized in Aeronautical Engineering from Madras Institute

of Technology.
In his book Dr. Kalam wrote “During the II world war in

1941, it was a difficult time for our family at Rameswaram.
I was a ten year old boy then. I used to get up at four in the
morning, take bath and went to my teacher Swamiyar for
learning mathematics. He will not accept students if they
had not taken bath. He was a unique mathematics teacher
and he used to take only five students for free tuition
in a year. My mother used to get up before me, and gave
bath to me and prepared me to go for the tuition. I used
to comeback at 5:30 when my father would be waiting for
taking me to the Namaz and Koran Sharif learning in Arabic
school. After that I used to go to Rameswaram Road Railway
station, three kilometers away to collect newspaper. Madras
Dhanushkodi Mail will pass through the station but will not
stop, since it was war time. The newspaper bundle will be
thrown from the running train to the platform.
I used to collect the paper and run around the Rameswaram

town and be the first one to distribute the newspapers in the
town. After distribution, I used to come home at 8 AM. My
mother will give me a simple breakfast with a special quota
compared to other children because I was studying and
working simultaneously. After the school gets over in the
evening, again I will go around Rameswaran for collection
of dues from customers. One day, when all my brothers and
sisters were sitting and eating, my mother went on giving
me chapattis. When I finished eating, my elder brother
called me privately and scolded “Kalam do you know what
was happening? You went on eating Chappati, and mother
went on giving you. She has given all her chappatis to you.
It is difficult time.
Be a responsible son and do not make your mother starve”.

First time I had a shivering sensation and I could not control
myself. I rushed to my mother and hugged her. Even though
I was studying in 5th class, I had a special place in my home
because I was the last guy in the family. There used to be no
electricity. Our house was lit by the kerosene lamp that too
between 7 to 9 PM. My mother specially gave me a small
kerosene lamp so that I can study up to 11 PM.”
Hrithik Roshan was born on 10 January 1974 in Mumbai, India.

He was diagnosed at age 21 with scoliosis
(Scoliosis is a disorder that causes an abnormal
curve of the spine, or backbone) and doctor
told he could never be an actor and do all the
things that a Bollywood hero needs to do. But
he prepared himself extensively for his screen
debut, taking acting, singing, dancing, riding
etc. lessons for years. He also worked hard on
his diction and physical appearance (strenuous
workout routines). He fought hard to overcome his stammering
problem.
He worked for many years on the sets of his father Rakesh Roshan
in every role including sweeping the floor and serving tea to the
stars, to learn the business from scratch.
Barack Obama, the 44th president of the Unites States and the
first African-American ever elected to that position. He was
born to a white American mother and a black Kenyan father.
He was largely brought up by his grandparents. The family lived
in a small apartment.
He was enrolled in the fifth grade at the esteemed Punahou

Academy, graduating with honors in 1979. He was only one
of three black students at the school. This is where Obama
first became conscious of racism and what it meant to be an
African–American.
Obama attended Columbia University. After that he went to

Harvard Law School, and in 1990 became the first
African-American editor of the Harvard Law
Review. He turned down a prestigious judicial
clerkship, choosing instead to practice civil-
rights law back in Chicago, representing
victims of housing and employment
discrimination and working on voting-rights
legislation. He also began teaching at the University of Chicago
Law School.
Whoever I discussed above are ordinary people with extraordinary

nerve to stand and face the hurdles of life to be where they are. There
is no difference in their physical appearance; the only difference
is in thought management. Thoughts, positive or negative, grow
stronger when fertilized with constant persistence and repetition.
Dr. Shah Faesal and Gouse Jani had all the excuse to perform low in
their examinations. Dr.Kalam could have told “I can’t go to school
as my parents could not afford to educate us.” Dr.Manmohan Singh
was a refugee from Pakistan. He had all the ingredients to be failure.
But it’s the determination of every successful person to continue
persist in spite of every obstacles.
We become what we think about ourselves. How you think

determines how you act. When we justify or blame others for
our failure, we allow some one to control our life. But as you
start taking responsibility of your life, you start controlling

your own life. In the beginning it may be difficult but as it forms
a habit it becomes part and parcel of your life.
TOP ACHIEVERS are the students who won’t and can’t settle for
the status quo. They continually look for ways to stretch themselves,
to get better, to do better and to be better! They set their sights on
goals that others have never even thought of.
High, lofty goals usually take a while to get there so there will always
be plenty of time to be tempted to stray away from the road that is
taking you to those goals. Develop the ability to say no to the good
things in order to get to the best things. The will power to prioritize
and the sincerity and consistency to move ahead are crucial to be
successful in life.
Success Action Exercise
Describe an incident when you took responsibility.
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We all have played all the roles and still now also we are playing.
Sometime you played the role of a victim by blaming someone
for whatever happened to you or sometime you justified your
failure. And you have taken responsibility also. What you are
today is result of the responsibility you have taken in your life.
Below there are few pie chart. Rate yourself how often you are
blaming some one, how often you are justifying your failure
and how often you are taking responsibility. Then set a target
for three month where you want to be. What percentages of
responsibility you want take in the next three months? Your
target will be to get to 100% responsibility in this lifetime.
Justify Lay Blame

Justify
Lay Blame (failures)
1 1
(failures) 2 2
3 3
Responsibility Responsibility
Examples
You rate
Responsibility
yourself
Personal Notes
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Four basic traits needed to

succeed of our lives
1. Patience
2. Punctuality
3. Positive Attitude &
4. Initiative
Patience is one of the most important qualities for improvement

in life. Nothing happens overnight. It takes time to achieve our
goal. Patience to persist with will-power will help you to achieve
your objectives. If we want to have better result in our exams, we
must have the patience to read lessons every day, till our exam days
are over. Are our educationist fools to allocate 4 years of time to
complete engineering courses, if we can complete by reading at the
last month? If we want to bake a cake to firmness, we have to bake
at an even temperature for a specific period of time. If we want a
cake in short time and place it in high temperature we will get a
burnt cake. Same way we get burn out if we put ourselves under
high pressure just before the exams.
Everyone has got 24 hrs in a day. If I am not punctual, then I am

not respecting other person’s time. If I don’t respect others, I can’t
expect respect from others. I will not be able to work in a team and
I will be left behind. I must be punctual to attend my classes in time
and be present in time for all group activities.
Every incident has a positive side and negative aspect. How we take
the incident depends on our awareness and attitude. If a teacher
is scolding, he is giving feedback to improve in our studies. Some
teacher may not be good in giving feedback in appropriate method
and we may get upset. It is our duty to study well and pass out all the
exam papers with flying colours. Sometime we focus so much on
other’s negative aspect we forget to look towards our own negatives.
We always like a student who takes initiative by himself to take up

the task instead of waiting to be told. If you are not clear on any
subject, it is your responsibility to take the initiative and clear your
doubts from teachers, classmates, seniors, reference books and
from internets in this information age.
Analyze yourself
The master key to our growth is awareness about ourselves
Most common question you are bound to face during your student
life, “What do you want to become in life?” Most of the answers
would be “I want to become so and so...” How many students
become what they wanted to become as a student?
There is difference in “I want to become....” & “I will become ...”

There is affirmation in the second statement.
“I want to become so and so...” is part of the norm or compulsion to

fulfil the requirement; though there is no clear goal in your mind.
Bill gates wrote in his diary very clearly

when he was 20, “I will become millionaire
by 30”. He didn’t write, “I want to become
millionaire”. First we communicate to
ourselves and then to others. What we
communicate to ourselves is very
important.
Before you decide to become something, you must analyse yourself

first. Let me ask you a question, “Who is your main competitor?”
It must be single person. Competitors can be many, but main
competitor must be one.
Some of the answers I get – ‘one of the classmates better than him’,
‘my elder brother’; even some answers are their father. But how
can ‘others’ be your main competitor? Their circumstances are
different, their capabilities and capacities are different, and their
inspirations are different. They can be your competitors but not
main competitor.
Your main competitor is yourself. How was your performance

last year or last semester? If there is no improvement, then you need
to worry. You must be aware of what’s happening around and plan
your future on the basis of your circumstances, capabilities and
inspiration. If you want to reach your destination, first you must
know where you are standing right now. Then you must decide
your destination (your career). Once destination is decided, next
step is to decide on strategies to reach your destination.
There are maps to determine where you are standing. In the same
way I have created a Student Life Map to analyse yourself where you
are standing in your life right now. All the areas of our life have been
described in the map. They are ‘Performance in your Studies’,
Health, Emotional states (Happiness, Sadness, Frustration etc),
Finance (Managing your pocket money), Relationship (with
Teacher, Classmates, Parents) and Core values (Commitment,
Trustworthy, Responsibility).
You need to rate yourself where do you stand in all these areas
according to your perception. Not what your teacher, classmates or
parents think about you, but what you think about yourself.
This is a subjective process to get a visual picture of where you are

at in life right now as a student. You need to be measuring your
progress and this is a good reference point for that measurement in
all areas of your life.
So, let’s begin with the Performance in your studies. Where do

you rate your current performance according to your perception?
Though you got 70% marks in the exam, still if you think you are
doing average in your studies, then you are at 5. If you think your
performing is good in studies according to your perception then
Student Life Map
you are at 6; and if you think you are doing very good, then you are
at 7. If you think you are excellent at your studies then you are at
8, and if you think your performance is outstanding then you are
at 9. If you think there is no more room for improvement in your
studies; you are doing the best what you can do then you are at 10.
The next domain is your health. If you think you are totally happy
about your health in terms of your energy level, your vitality, your
weight according to your height and age then you are at 10. But if
you think there is a room for improvement then rate yourself where
do you stand right now according to your perception.
Emotion: The next field is your emotional state right now. There
are positive and negative emotions: happiness, joy, satisfaction
are some of the positive emotions. Whereas sadness, frustration,
depression and, worries are some of the negative emotions.
Finance: You will be getting pocket money from your parents. If

you can manage your expenditure with your pocket money, instead
of asking from parents again and again or borrowing from others,
then you are at 5 in finance. If you can make some saving out of your
current pocket, then you are at 6, 7, 8 or 9; and if are totally happy
about your financial position then you are at 10.
Relationship: The next area is relationship. How do you rate your

relationship with your classmates, seniors, teachers and parents
according to your perception? You may prefer to keep some people
away from you and some people you want to bring to your close
circle. The way you want to maintain relationship with everyone, if
you can make; then you are at 10 in relationship according to your
perception. Some people, whom you keep away from your close
circle, may think you are rude. You can’t make everyone happy. You
need to understand your priorities as every one of us has got 24
hours in a day.
Core Values: There are personal values and core values. Personal
values can change from person to person, place to place, community
to community and country to country. But core/universal values are
same everywhere in the world. We play different role at different
time. Are you keeping your commitment with the role you are
playing? There are many core values, I have mentioned only three
core values here (Commitment, Trustworthy, Responsibility).
As a student our main role is to study. We join an educational

institute with that commitment to our parents. You must
ask yourself, “Am I keeping my commitment?” If you keep
your commitment and take responsibility of your actions, you
become trustworthy to everyone.
If you think you are keeping your commitment all the time, then
you are at 10; otherwise you are at 5, 6, 7, 8 or 9. Rate yourself,
where do you stand according to your perception.
Once you have rated yourself in every area, join all the points in a
circular manner.
Pause for sometime and observe

your life map
“What have you got? What does it show you?”
You must get another circle within the circle. Is the circle uniform
in shape?
There is nothing wrong or right, whatever you got. Whenever you

want to purchase a quality product, you will be very conscious of
the ingredients, whether all the ingredients are balanced or not.
What about your life?
Today if you came to the institute in a vehicle. If the wheels of the

vehicle be of the same shape of what you have got, what kind of
journey or ride you will have? A bumpy ride!
You will find you are doing well in some areas and some areas are
getting neglected.
Let’s take typical example,
• Performance in Studies: 5.5
• Health: 8
• Emotion: 6
• Finance: 5
• Relationship: 7
• Core Values: 6
In this life map 8 is the highest point and 5 is the lowest point. Some
participants ask, ‘what about making everything to be 5, then we
can get a smooth ride!’
I agree with the statement, if you can accept from your heart that
you want to go down. But as human our urge is to improve from
where we are right now. Therefore our endeavour should be to
make all the areas to 8 and then expand in uniformity.
Now you know where you are standing. You must design your career
according to your capability, circumstances and inspiration. What
inspire others may not inspire you. You must ask yourself what
inspires you. Then you must assess your strength and resources
available to reach your destination.
How to progress in life?

If we are truly interested to progress in our life, then we must focus
on our core values. Core values are the roots and rest others like
performance in exam, relationship, emotion; health and career are
the fruits.
As a student if I don’t keep my commitment to study and perform

well in my examination. I will lose my relationship with others
including myself, if I keep myself busy with all the fun and
entertainment activities only. At school if my teachers and
classmates don’t like me I will not feel like going to school. At my
home also parents will not like me if I keep on breaking my promise

and get associated with all the bad guys in the institute. During my
campus interview I will not be able to get any good job and I will be
cursing myself throughout my life. I must start preparing right now
itself to make my future bright.
What is luck?
Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. Are you preparing for
the opportunity which is going to come to you at the end of your
course in the form of exams and interviews? If you are preparing
then you will be a lucky student.
What is the main cause of health disorder?

The main cause of our health disorder is that our immune system
goes down. And our immune system goes down for two main
factors. One, if we don’t have the right amount of nutrients in the
body like vitamins, protein, fat etc. The other factor is, if we are not
emotionally balanced. As discussed previously if I don’t keep my
core values in the long run the people matters to me will not like me
and if no one likes me I will be emotionally down.
Immune system is the resistance power to fight disease. To

understand about immune system, let’s assume that one of your
classmates is suffering from chicken pox and you all went to see him.
Will all get affected with chicken pox? May be one or two persons!
Why not all of you? Others have stronger immune system.
Life is an adventure; you get opportunities to play different game at

different time. When you accept your role whatever comes during
this life journey, you start to enjoy.
If we resist and not willing to accept the roles, whichever

comes during our life journey, we suffer. When we don’t accept
the present- regrets, anxieties, worries keep replaying unpleasant
scenarios in our minds which create neuromuscular tensions.

Unexpressed emotion leads us to physical stiffness and fatigue
resulting in headaches, neck aches, sore lower back, chronic fatigue,
muscle ache, back pain and reduces flexibility. Research shows that
chronic emotional tension can generate or aggravate symptoms
such as headache, arthritis, hypertension and blood pressure. The
other disorders are dyspepsia, colitis, ulcers and insomnia.
If you are not healthy, your performance in studies is also going

to suffer and during professional life you will not be able to give
your optimum output; which will have impact on your income.
Therefore I request all students to focus on core values. Core values
are your foundation for a great career and great future.
Goal Setting: Create your

Blueprint
Have you ever asked yourself, where do you want to see yourself 10
years from now?
Let’s assume you have been given everything to construct a house:

land, material, labour and money. Can you construct a house? What
kind of house will you construct? What you need first to start the
construction?
“A Blueprint”
At this stage of your life as a student you got everything in your side.
What you require is a blue print.
Do you have a blueprint of your life?
If you don’t have blueprint in a piece of paper to construct a house,

you will start with something in your mind. But after sometime
your mind may change, if all the pillars and walls are not aligned
you will not get the desired house.
In the same way all of us have 365 bricks in a year and 366 in leap
years. Where do you place your daily action if there is no blueprint?
As we don’t have a blueprint, we take

action without any prior and proper
planning. Sunday you thought of
completing your assignment, but
suddenly you got a call from your
friend to come for a movie and you
rushed to give company to your
friend. You are placing one brick here
and another brick there without any
proper blueprint. If we take our daily actions without any plan, we

don’t get constructive result.
To succeed in life a blueprint or plan or you can say a written goal is

must. Every bit of human progress- our inventions big or little, our
medical or engineering discoveries, and every business success was
first visualised before they became realities. A goal is more than a
dream; it’s a dream being acted upon. If goal is not written down,
as our thoughts keep on changing our goal keeps changing. The
important thing is that it’s not where you are but where you want
to get.
A progressive organisation plans company goal 10 to 15 years ahead.

Executives who manage leading business houses ask themselves
“Where do we want our organisation to be 10 years from now?”
The organisations don’t leave their future to chance. Should you?
A research was conducted in Yale University. In 1953, a

questionnaire was circulated to the graduating seniors at
Yale University. They were asked the question, “Do you
have clear, specific, written goals for your life, and have you
developed complete plans for their accomplishment after
you leave this university?”
The results of the survey were surprising. Only 3 percent

of the seniors had clear written goals and plans for what
they wanted to do when they left the school. Thirteen
percent had goals, but had not written them down. The
other 84 percent had no goals at all, except to get out of
school and enjoy the summer.
Twenty years later, in 1973, the surviving members of the

Yale graduating class were surveyed again. Among other
questions, they were asked, “What is your net worth today?”
When they totalled and averaged the results of the survey,

they found that the 3 percent who had clear, written goals
and plans when they left the university twenty years before
were worth more, in terms of dollar, than the other 97 percent
put together! And ‘goal setting’ was the only characteristic
that the top 3 percent had in common. The one common
denominator of the most successful graduates was that they
had been intensely goal-oriented from the very beginning.
Therefore written goals are essential to succeed in life.
Growth in life is infinity:
Growth or improvement in life is infinity. As you are getting this

knowledge at this age, you can become anything whatever you
wish, provided you take persistent effort toward your goal.
We have to close the loop to be time bound to achieve our goal in a

specific period of time. Most of the students say “I want to become
so and so…” but never specifies within what period of time. There
is timer, it’s always ticking. Right now as you are reading this article
the time is passing by. After sometime it will be past. So, we do have
a past and a future. The present time is very small and we have to
take action in the present or ‘now’ to achieve whatever we want
to achieve. This time with this date will never be back in your life.
What you are today is due to the actions you have taken in the past.
Whatever action you take now will mould your future. What ever
happened- happened in NOW.
Whenever we think of taking action our thought goes in past. As

human psychology most of thoughts are of failures in the past. But
here is no failure in real life. You learned something from your past
actions. Otherwise we will be stuck in life.
We learn in two different ways, by our own action and experience

or from someone’s experience by reading their book or listening to
the lectures. All the highly successful people learned though their
own experience by putting their little knowledge into practise and
taking daily actions towards their goals. Most of them are not highly
educated formally but they are self-educated through their
own experiences. Let it be Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Bill Gates,

Dhirubai Ambani to Rabindranath Tagore. Edison had only three
months of formal education; Henry Ford had less than sixth grade
schooling. Neither of the above mentioned
personalities are degree holders. There is
a saying “formal education will give you a
job and self-education will give you
fortune”. Their lives are more bigger than
degree courses. According to Thomas
Alva Edison, “Genius is one percent
inspiration, ninety-nine percent
perspiration” –Harper’s Monthly
(September 1932).
What is taught in MBA and formal management course is the

learning from these great people.
We can’t go through all the experiences to learn as they are

time consuming and painful. So it’s better to learn from other’s
experiences.
Most of us are stuck in life. We keep on worrying and delaying our

decision. Tomorrow becomes another tomorrow; our experience
says “It’s now or never, because tomorrow is too late!” Therefore
you have to act now. But what kind of action will you take?
Your action will be based on your future blueprint and past

learning. One of the best definitions of success; “Success is the
progressive realisation of worthy ideals.”
According to Dan Millman, “No matter how intelligent or talented

you are, only your actions shape your destiny. You need more than
willpower to make a journey- you need a direction, a task, a goal, a
mission- you need a purpose that has meaning for you. Knowing
your purpose and acting in alignment with that purpose unleashes
the full force of your will. No task is too formidable when you divide
your goals into small, realistic steps and prepared well”
Now the question is, how to write a goal?
A person may be effective but not successful if he is not doing

what his conscience says. We request you to set a SMARTIES goal
instead of SMART goal.
SMARTIES goal stands for:

S: Specific
M: Measurable
A: Achievable
R: Realistic
T: Time Bound
I: Inspiration
E: Emotional attachment
S: Success
There was a survey in 2002 among the MBAs who were working in
multinational companies in high position to find out if they were
happy with their jobs. 82% responses were negative.
• Your goal must be specific, not 10 things at a time. Then our

energy gets distorted. Our mind and energy must be focused like
a laser beam.
• You must be able to measure the progress. Suppose you got

65% in the last exams and your goal is to make 75% this year or you
are average in communication and your goal is to be an excellent
communicator.
• It must be achievable by you. You are an ordinary student and if

you want to be the topper in next 3 months, it may not be achievable.
• Therefore your goal must be realistic according to your capability

and circumstances
• You must set a time bound goal, otherwise tomorrow becomes

another tomorrow. Long-term goal to be broken down into yearly
goal, monthly goals, weekly goals, daily goals, and immediate goals
– the next step, right now.
• More than all the above points, you should have inspiration to
achieve your goal. What inspires you, you need to ask yourself.
• You should be emotionally attached to achieve your goal

• That will lead you to success, which you will enjoy.
I feel a person is successful if he/she is doing what he wants to do

and doing well in his field. To make it
clear let’s take an example. There are
two doctors ‘A’ and ‘B’. Let’s assume
‘A’ wanted to be a singer but her
parents insisted her to be a doctor.
It so happened, some people in the
family or in the village died due to
lack of medical facilities available in
the area. Therefore her parents promised that they will make their
child a doctor to serve the society. So when ‘A’ expressed her desire
to be a singer, it was declined. Her parents insisted her to be a doctor,
otherwise no more studies and they would get her married. But she
was not interested in marriage unless she established herself. ‘A’ was
a brilliant student and to avoid early marriage she agreed to go for
medical.
She cleared all the entrances test. She studied all the five years and
finished her internship. It’s been 7 years she joined the M.B.B.S and
now she is a full fledged doctor. Whereas ‘B’ wanted to be a doctor
and she is a doctor. ‘B’ is also talented as ‘A’. ‘B’ also cleared all the
entrance tests and finished all her studies. Now she is also a fully
qualified doctor. If both of them are sitting in front of us, what we
think about them, that both of them are successful as doctors.
Is ‘A’ successful? Mostly the answer is going to be ‘No’
In the morning whenever ‘A’ thinks of going to Hospital, she gets a

negative feeling. The thoughts come in her mind, “Again I will have
to go to my clinic – People come with cut, blood, puss and stinky.”
She gets stress even before going to hospital with these negative
thoughts.
Where as if ‘B’ get delayed to reach her clinic she starts worrying by
thinking, “People come to hospital
with so much pain, I bring smile
to their faces, how come still I am
here, I am supposed to be in the
hospital.” She gets satisfaction
and sense of fulfilment, when the
patients thank her for the service
she renders to them. If she gets an
emergency call at 10pm after coming back home from work, she
will attend to the patient.
Whereas if a person comes to A’s home after 7 pm to call her to

attend an emergency call; ‘A’ will send her mother to tell them that
she is not at home. She keeps brooding, “Already they have eaten 9
hours of my brain in the hospital. I don’t want to go out any more.”
We may assume both the doctors are successful as they are well
qualified doctors and earning enough to take care of themselves.
You tell me, is ‘A’ successful? – NO.
Is ‘B’ successful? Yes, because she enjoys what she does. Both of
them may be effective but not successful.
I have already mentioned four traits are essential to be successful.

They are
a) Patience
b) Punctuality
c) Positive Attitude &
d) Initiative
Successful students are not necessarily smarter or more talented

than their unsuccessful counterparts; they are only more disciplined.
Many smart students fall by the wayside because they strive only
when they feel motivated. Successful students strive no matter what
they feel by applying their will to overcome apathy, doubt or fear.
Motivation works in a moment, but your will power, persistence,
perseverance and patience will keep you in right track.
Whenever you want to achieve anything extraordinary in your life;

you will have to act differently. If you take different actions other
than the traditional ones, people start labelling you to be fool or
idiot. Most of us don’t want to be criticized. This fear of criticism
stops them from taking further action. Opinions are cheapest
commodity on the earth. Thousands of men and women carry
inferiority complexes with them, throughout their lives, because
some ignorant person destroyed their confidence through opinions
or ridicule.
Sample Goal Setting & Inspiration Writing
Unless we have clear written goals and plans for, what we want to
do or achieve; we rarely achieve. Again it’s to be written everyday to
remind us. As we feed our body, we need to feed our mind.
We have discussed when someone said “I want to become so and so.”

He rarely becomes as there is not much affirmation in the statement.
But when you say “I will become.” There is more affirmation and
you become what you want to be. Again it needs to be time bound
and follow the SMARTIES procedure. One of the architects of the
software industry, Bill Gates clearly mentioned in his diary when he
was 20 “I will become millionaire by 30.” But there was a mistake
in his writing. He became billionaire by 30. If you take Bill Gates
case; he started his company with his friend at the age of 20. In the
next four years he was financially broke. But he didn’t give up and
from the 5th year the business started to pick up. As he was very
clear about his long term goal or you can say vision; he didn’t give
up when he was having tough time. Another important point to be
noted, he didn’t say “I want to become.” He wrote “I will become.”
It was Specific and time bound.
There is a saying “If you can visualise, you can actualise.” We will
go one step ahead. We will write our goal in present tense, as if we
have achieved our goal. Feelings are very important to achieve a
goal. When we visualise, we are inspired with the success of our
goal. It helps us to keep in right track with right actions towards our
goal.
Let’s write a sample goal. You can modify according to your

capabilities, circumstances and inspirations.
If it’s not true for you and if you don’t believe you can achieve,
please don’t write. Belief in yourself is the most important aspect
in achieving any goal. If you don’t believe and there is a doubt you
will not act whole heartedly. Doubts are traitors, they destroy you;
destroy your confidence in carrying out the task to be carried out.
Let’s assume today is beginning of your semester/ year and you are
writing your goal for achieving high marks in your examination. We
will write our goal in present tense.
Today our final examination results are out. I have scored more than
90% (if your goal is 70% or 80%, then write that figure) in the exam. I
am happy and excited as I have achieved my goal of scoring more than
90%. My parents, teachers and classmates are proud of my achievement.
My friends are also proud of my new found confidence and sometime
they come to take advice from me.
Please close your eyes. Now assume that have achieved your goal?
How the other people are reacting to your achievement? If you are
confident that you can achieve, you will achieve. If you are confident
and have got belief in yourself, then you will act to achieve your
goal. If you take action, then definitely you will achieve your goal.
That’s law of the nature.
Action Reaction, Newton’s third law
To change the course of your life visualize positive outcomes so

that you can finally develop the confidence to act and display the
courage and the commitment.
As we feed our body; we need to feed our mind on regular basis.

You need to keep writing for the next 90 days. If you keep writing
for 90 days, then definitely you will achieve your goal.
In the recently concluded workshop one of the participants asked

“Can’t I achieve without writing?” I said, “You may achieve, I am
not sure. But if you write definitely you will achieve your goal. That’s
the assurance from me.” If you keep on writing every day, initially
you may write for me. But later on you will realise, “For whom am
I writing?” You are hammering yourself every day, hammering
your mind. You will realise, you are cheating yourself. Once that
realisation comes everything changes for you.
It takes 90 days to form a habit. If you can focus your
action for next 90 days, definitely you will achieve
your goal and it will form a habit for you.
There is another exercise to be carried out every day and it may take
another 5 minutes, writing your daily activities in a diary called ‘My
24 Hrs’. We will discuss in detail in the next chapter.
If we don’t write, our thought keeps changing and we ultimately

end up with nothing concrete in our life. As you keep writing
you remind yourself the actions towards your goal and you will
definitely achieve your goal.
Goal Writing Exercise:
Please write your goal in the space provided below:
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
Affirmation:
I will write my goal everyday.
I will engage myself in physical Exercise for 15 minute every
day to improve my health
I will carry on breathing Exercise (Meditation) for 15 minute
every day
I will be more observant than reactive.
Time Management: Organise

yourself
“Time and tide wait for none; it’s now or never.”
Today as you are reading this book, what is the time by your watch
and what’s the date today? Will you get back this time and with the
same date again in your life? No, this date will never come back in
your life. Therefore you need to act right now toward your goal;
otherwise this opportunity will never come back to you. Whether
we admit it or not what we are today is due to the actions taken in
the past and the actions we will be taking today and tomorrow will
mould our life for the future. We can cheat others but we can’t cheat
ourselves.
Everyone has got 24 hrs in a day; no one can get a single second
more than you. Every morning your purse is magically
filled with 24 hrs of time. You can compare time with
a plain bar of iron, which is worth Rs.100. Now you
can convert this iron bar into nails that may fetch Rs.
1000. And that same identical bar of iron can be
turned into balance spring for watches, which is
worth Rs. 1000000. The same is true with time. Only
a few of us have learned to turn a golden hour into
true-tempered watch springs. You need to prioritise
yourself where you want to use your valuable time.
Time is the most valuable asset you have got. To get
the maximum benefit out of your time you must organise yourself.
Otherwise someone will take away your time.
If you are serious about your time and focus most of your time
towards studies from now onwards, you will be so much valuable
that most of the companies will come forward to pay you in lakhs
for your knowledge during campus interviews. Most of us crave for
more time and keep on telling “I don’t have time”. But everyone
in this world has got 24hrs in a day. Whether you are a rich man
or poor, whether a student or Principal; God has been equal to
everyone on this aspect.
It’s forming the habit of acting on your priorities. What is important

for you may not be important for another person; let it be your close
people like mother, father, brother, sister, friend or classmates. It’s
important to understand your priority, your inspiration and your
goal in life. No one can make changes in your life unless you want
to make. To see yourself in the mirror of your time you must write
your daily activities. There is nothing right or wrong. What is right
for you may not be right for another person.
When you want to make changes in your life to give importance

to your priorities, you will come across hurdles and difficulties.
These hurdles will be mostly created by your near and dear ones.
Unknowingly they will place obstacles on your path to success. They
will not support you to keep your commitment and be punctual.
They will support you to procrastinate and expect more time from
you, and if you don’t give them your precious time they will accuse
you of betrayal. The gist is explained below”
“It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy”
Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder
If we can’t be in time, most of us come out with different excuses to

justify delay. Therefore I am asking; can you disappoint someone
to keep your commitment? I am not interested in the story why
are you late? I am least interested to know whether the story you
are telling is true. To keep your commitment you may be accused
of betrayal by others, as they are not getting the time which they
used to get from you in the past. You have to take out the time
from 24 hours allotment only. There is no alternative to anyone
in this world to get more than 24 hours in a day. If you are using
that time for your development then others are devoid of that time.
The relationship with yourself is most important as you will
be with yourself all the time. Your self esteem goes down every
time you are apologetic about your delay. The other people will
leave you when their interests are over or if you are not fulfilling
their expectation. Ask your conscience, your soul to follow the right
path for yourself. Check your commitment list which you have
committed earlier, then take up the next assignment. Sometimes
we commit too much, in the process neither we are able to keep
commitment with others nor with ourselves.
24 Hours
There are so many techniques and procedures to organise yourself.
To organise yourself you must analyze yourself and to analyze
yourself writing daily activities is one of the best systems I have
experienced. Most people will plan their day but rarely the plan is
followed. I am asking you to write your daily activities at the end
of the day before going to bed. Or carry a small note book or the
exercise book with you and note down the activities you have done
during that time. You will analyze your time and you can make the
changes on the basis of your priority.
One example is given below
24 Hours Activities Date:________
Timing Activities
5:30 am- 6:30 am Got up, Freshen up,Yoga, Exercise,
6:30 am – 8:00 am Yoga, Exercise, Newspapers reading,
8:00 am – 8:30 am shower, B/F
8:30 am – 9:00 am Travelling to School/ College
9:00 am – 1:15 pm Attending Classes
1:15 pm – 2:00 pm Lunch Break
2:00 pm – 4:00 pm Attending Classes
4:00 pm – 5:00 pm Back home
5:00 pm – 6:30 pm Sport/ Exercise & Freshen up
6:30 pm – 8:30 pm Study
8:30 pm – 9:30 pm Dinner & Watching TV
9:30 pm – 10:30 pm Study
10:30 pm – 5:30 am Sleeping
Every day, writing your daily activities will give you a clear picture
where are you spending your 24 hours.
As if you are seeing yourself in the mirror of your time. Now you can
prioritise yourself, which are necessary and which are unnecessary.
You can make the changes according to your requirement. As
mentioned again and again no one can change you except you;
but this system can change you. If you are spending your time in the
areas which are not important to you, you will give your best effort
to make those changes; as if you are hammering yourself everyday

by writing your daily activities. If anyone can write his daily
activities in detail for 30 days, there will be drastic improvement in
him. If you can seriously carry on the exercise for 90 days, you will
transform your life, that’s the assurance from my side.
According to Motivational Trainer Steven Covey our daily

activities can be divided into four sections, they are: Important -
Urgent, Important – non-urgent, non-important – urgent and non-
important – non-urgent.
Important – Urgent: The categories which come under ‘Important

– Urgent’ section are accidents, assignment/ Examination with
immediate due dates or any events without any due dates.
Important – non-urgent: The categories which come under this

section are all except accidents from previous section with due
dates. Once all the activities in the previous section had due dates,
when it was important but not urgent. We are given enough time
to complete an assignment but we keep on waiting for the last
moment to complete. If you can organise yourself and commit to
spend enough time every day towards your task, you will never
invite stress for yourself. The only activity will appear in the first
section is accidents.
Non-important – Urgent: The activities which are urgent, it’s

happening now only but not important for you to spend time on
all those activities, such as live cricket match, movie on the first
day first show, phone is ringing while you are having an important
meeting. You can call back the caller after the meeting is over.
Research shows out of 20 unknown calls 19 calls are not important:
mostly from marketing companies.
Suppose you have decided to complete an assignment on Sunday in

between 2pm – 5 pm. suddenly your friend called you at 1:00 pm

to inform you that he has got 2 complementary pass for TPZ (Tare
Zamen Par) which you wanted to watch yesterday, but could not
get ticket. He invited you to come and watch the movie with him.
What would you do? It’s urgent; the movie was at 3pm- 6pm. Your
assignment was important but you thought you would complete
once you come back from the movie. Your friend insisted to have
dinner at a restaurant. By the time both of you came back home,
it was 10:30pm. Then you sat to complete the assignment on your
computer. You were very tired but completed the assignment in
half-sleep as it was urgent. What kind of assignment it’s going to
be? You submitted the assignment next day morning and were
assessed on the basis of this assignment for grading. Your grading
came out to be very low due to grammatical and spelling mistakes
in the assignment.
Watching the movie was urgent not important as you can see the
movie later on but you have to pay for it. To save money for a movie
tickets and give company to your friend you lost good placement.
Suppose you lose a year due to such small

mistake, how much do you lose? Suppose
your salary would have Rs.25000/- month
after completion of your MBA, you lose
Rs.300,000/- .
Non-important – non-urgent: The activities which come

under this are neither important nor urgent but you enjoy doing
those activities such as repeated watching your favourite movie,
unnecessarily gossiping with friends for long time. If you have
worked for a long time and then gossiping with your friend for
relaxation is important.
Once again let’s take the same above example, you have decided to
complete an assignment on Sunday in between 2pm – 5 pm. but
suddenly you switched on the television at 2:30 pm and you saw
one of your favourite movies was running, which you saw twice
before. Some of us would be watching the movie again thinking
that he would complete the assignment after 5pm. After 5 pm one
of relatives came to your house, what would you do? You treated
your relative with dinner and by the time your relative left your
house, it was 10 pm. then you sat to complete the assignment on
your computer. You were very tired but completed the assignment
in half-sleep as it was urgent (It has moved to ‘Important-Urgent’,
which was in ‘Important – non-urgent’ section at 2pm). What kind
of assignment it’s going to be? How will be your grading?
Watching the movie was neither urgent nor important as you saw
the movie before. If you want to watch the movie you can watch
that later in your video.
Time Matrix by Steven Covey
In the above exercise also you will be able to analyse yourself well,
24 Hours’ daily activities everyday.
One of the traditional ways to explain time management is through

glass jar. Draw a picture of glass jar and beside that draw pictures of
big stones almost the size of glass jar so that only one stone can fit
inside the jar. Next to that draw pebbles, sand and liquid. Ask the
participants, “How many stones can you put inside?” The response
will be, ‘only one’. Next you point out to pebbles and ask, “Can
we place pebbles inside the jar?” You fill up the blank space with
pebbles. Next you point out to sand, “Is there any space for sand?”
You fill up the jar with sand. Next point out to liquid, “Can we pour
water inside this jar?
Can we expand glass jar or can we squeeze the glass jar? What does
the glass jar represent? It represents our 24 hours in a day. No one
can expand a day nor shorten a day by squeezing. Big stone is your
top priority that to be accomplished in that day.
Let me ask you, “If I place sand first in the jar, will I have space for
big stones, or pebbles?” We form the pattern of filling our day with
unnecessary tasks like sand and left with no space for the big stone
i.e. our top priority. Now your task is to form the pattern placing
the big stone first (top priority), and then next priority, and then
next important task to be carried out. Once you form the habit of
prioritising your task and working according to their importance,
the less important task will take its space wherever time is left; you
don’t need to take any extra effort for that. As a student, your top
priority is to focus on studies; next priority is your health and next
is your entertainment. Some students do the opposite. Their top
priority is their entertainment, next is attending to gym and if any
time left then only they study.
Please start prioritising from today, there is no tomorrow. You will

be able to organise yourself and enjoy your life rather than getting
stressed out and craving for more time. There are different kinds of
relationship in your life, and every relationship takes away some of
your time, such as relatives, classmates, friendship and other social
obligations, and yourself. How you are going to use your time is up
to you? Only you can make changes in your life for betterment or
worse. Wherever you go, the only person will be with you all the
time is yourself, but we give lots of importance to the others and we
neglect our studies, and ourselves.
The only person you can have total control is yourself.
If we can’t manage our time and organise ourselves, most of us will

blame external factors and others. “I wish I was given some more
time to complete the assignment. The dot in the centre is you and
there is a small circle of people around you where you have some
influence or some control, i.e. if you tell them to do something for
you, they will do for you (if possible by them). But they will not do
anything and everything for you. For example, if you are not feeling
well and ask your mother to prepare a special meal for you; she will
prepare for you. If you ask for help from your seniors, teachers and
classmates to complete an assignment, they will help you as much
as possible by them. The areas of influence consist of your family
members, friends, teachers and seniors; where you do have some

control on them but not total control. The only person you can
have total control is you. But do you have total control on yourself
or others control you? Think about it.
The outer circle around ‘area of control’ is the ‘area of concern’. The
area of concern is the whole world other than you and your area of
influence (area of control). Anything happens in this world affects
our life directly or indirectly i.e. it bothers us. But we don’t have
any control on those areas. Let’s take an example. Suppose there is
match between India and Pakistan, and India wins the match. How
do you feel? We feel happy. And if India loses the match, how do
you feel? Sad & depressed! Can you do anything about it? But we
keep on gossiping and commenting on the match even though the
match is over long time ago.
In this world every one of us has got 24 hours. If you are spending
more time on the area of concern, where you don’t have any control
or influence, then you are spending less time on yourself and on
the area of influence. If you are not spending time for your growth,
you will be left behind. The more time you spend on yourself for
your studies, your area of influence will increase as you will be able
to contribute more to people. The more time you spend on your
‘area of concern’, your area of influence decreases. For example,
our former president Dr.Abdul Kalam has spent more time on his
growth to improve his intellectual. Therefore from a student now
he has got influence on everyone of us.
We train people how we want to be treated
One of my clients used to come for ‘Life Coaching’ session at 4 pm

on Saturdays. He called me at 3pm to inform me that he will not
come for the session as one of his relatives was coming at 5 pm. I
asked him, “When did your relative inform you about his arrival
at your home?” He said, “Just an hour before.” I said, “We have
planned for this session one week back (last Saturday). How can
you agree to meet him and change your plan? One of your goals
in this programme is to improve relationship with your relatives
and as you have started getting little result you want to ignore your
commitment to attend all the sessions (except emergency needs)?”
Most of us are not aware, how to say ‘no’ in such situations. I
advised him to call his relative to inform, “I would like to come and
see you immediately, but I got an important appointment at 4pm. I
will come and see you by 7pm and meanwhile my son and wife will
take care of you.” I asked my client to inform his wife about their
relative’s arrival at 5pm.
In the past someone used to be at home all the time. Situation has
changed as both husband and wife are working. Therefore I asked
him to inform his relative to intimate in advance next time so that
they can be prepared to receive him. If you don’t give importance
to yourself, no one will give importance to you. We train people
how we want to be treated by others. When you request relative
to intimate in advance, you are conveying the importance of
your time, you are not sitting idle at home. Your relative will give
importance of your time. Next time he will intimate you in advance
to check your availability.
Same way, as a student you plan to complete your home task or
assignment or preparation for your exam; suddenly friend or
relative will come and want to spend time with you. How do you
handle such situation?
Attend to your friend or relative for five minutes and inform them
politely, “I would like to spend time with you; unfortunately I am
in a hurry to finish my assignment. Please excuse me for not giving
time to you all.”
Fear of losing relationship hinders us to take such actions.
Immediately your friend or relative may feel offended but in the
long run they will respect you and your intention as you become
successful in your examination and in your life.
Affirmation:
I will write my goal and my 24 Hrs activities everyday.
I will engage myself in physical Exercise for 15 minute
every day to improve my health
I will carry on breathing Exercise (Meditation) for 15
minute every day
I will be more observant than reactive.
My 24 Hours Activities
Timing Activities Date:

5 am -6 am
6 am - 7 am
7 am - 8 am
8 am - 9 am
10 am-11am
11 am-12 pm
12 pm- 1 pm
1 pm - 2 pm
2 pm - 3 pm
3 pm - 4 pm
4 pm - 5 pm
5 pm - 6 pm
6 pm - 7 pm
7 pm - 8 pm
8 pm - 9 pm
9 pm - 10pm
10 pm -11pm
Success Action Exsercise
1. When was the last time you were late to your class and what
was the reason?
2. How do you rate your time management (punctuality)?
3. How much time do you spend in watching TV?
4. How much time do you spend in your physical fitness?
5. What are the steps you are going take to improve time man-
agement?
Personal Notes
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Thought x Knowledge x Action =

ATTITUDE
The quality of our thinking determines the quality of our life.
According to Jeffrey Gitomer, author of ‘Yes! Attitude’; students
who are overconfident and arrogant without experiential knowledge
on the subject will say, “I know that” and move along. Students
with positive attitude and confidence ask themselves, “How good
am I at that?” and seek to improve. The quality of our thinking
determines the quality of our life. Mind generates thought and
there is compulsive thinking; and most of the thoughts are negative
unless we take conscious effort to generate positive thoughts.
Psychologists estimate that we talk to ourselves more than 50,000

times a day, compulsive thinking. These self talks or compulsive
thinking directly influences our self-image and determines our
behaviour and attitude. Our mind is a superb instrument if we know
how to use it rightly. But in most cases we don’t use the mind, in
other words mind uses us. Unless we take conscious effort to
generate positive thought, it will
generate negative or destructive
thought. We can compare mind
like a fertile land. If we don’t take
conscious effort to grow useful
plants, there will be weeds. By
using our mind and generating
positive thought, we take charge
of our life and determine our
destination. The most rapid and
positive changes in our personality and our life come from the way
we change our thinking about our possibilities and ourselves.
Ultimately I came to the conclusion:

Thought x Knowledge x Action = ATTITUDE
We all have the knowledge that we should study to be a good

student but how many of us practise that. Only knowing is not
going to serve the purpose unless we put it into action. We need
to have positive thought of making our parents proud and listen to
our teachers patiently to understand the subject. Then only we can
score good mark.
Let’s take a small example, suppose a white board marker is lying on

the ground. What is to be done with the white board marker is
known to all the students passing through that area. If a student’s
thought is positive then he will take the positive action that will
give positive attitude. If a student’s thought is negative, he will take
negative action, which will give negative attitude. We can get the
benefit of this knowledge by putting it into
action. As we keep on practising it will form
a habit over a period of time.
We all know our success depends on our

positive attitude. Now the question is how
much? Most universities agree to be 80%.
Suppose you need an operation and I recommend a doctor with no
formal training. Will you get operated by doctor?
Now the question is, “Are you training yourself in positive attitude?”
Our life is what we make by our own thoughts. Everything is a

consequence of our thoughts. All states of happiness or misery are
result of our own thoughts. Thought determines actions and actions
decide destiny, we create our own character and circumstances
by the manner of our own thinking. A happier tomorrow is built
only when we assert our will power to live a committed life today.
By the purity of mind one can gain higher success and unending
happiness. Therefore the secret for ultimate success in life is to take

responsibility and ownership of our own thoughts and our actions
Personal Notes
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SUCCESS PYRAMID
“You are a product of your environment.” W. Clement Stone
The base of the success pyramid is Environment. We are not talking
about natural environment with beautiful view of sea or hills with
lots of greenery, but the kind of people you interact or surrounded
by. That is your family background, cultural background and the
religions you have been brought up, the schools and colleges where
you study and your friend circle creates a certain belief system in
you. When we believe something then only we act; otherwise we
hesitate to take action. If you take an action, definitely you will get
result. The result is positive or negative will depend on the goal you
have set. If your actions are towards your goal then it is positive
or otherwise it may be negative. If we achieve our goal we become
happy. Happiness is one of the common purposes in our life.
Everyone has got a unique purpose in their life. Goals are the mile
stones toward our purpose in life.
Now the question is where do you spend most of your time?
Are you spending most of your time in the class, library, with
teachers and among the classmates who are serious about their
studies or in the canteen and theatre halls?
Most of us lost belief in ourselves. If we don’t believe we don’t take

the required action to progress in our life. Doubts are our traitors. If
you believe you take the required action and if you take the action
definitely you are going to get the result. That’s the law of the nature.
If you have set a goal to achieve, and your current environment is

not supporting to achieve your goal; you have got an option to
change your environment or create your environment.
To understand in a better way, let’s take an example, if you are born

in a traditional Hindu family and if you are asked to consume beef.
You may get angry and refuse to eat. But if you have been brought
up in an Islamic or Catholic family? ……
∫ Pause for a while
That’s the impact of our environment.
You can only visualise your long-term goal and vision. To achieve
your long-term goal you will be taking different steps and people
around may think you are a fool. Because they are not aware of your
long-term vision and neither you have time to explain to them.
Initially most of the achievers are thought to be fool by the society.

Therefore when you are working towards your goal and if anyone
criticises, take it as complement. That’s the indicator that you are
progressing towards your goal and you will definitely achieve your
goal.
If you can align your environment with your goal, then you can
reach your destination faster. Otherwise like a car, if the wheels are
not aligned you will have difficulties in driving. In the same way
if your environment is not aligned with your goal, you will have
difficulties to achieve your goal.
The importance of Environment
Environment plays a major role in our success. The fastest way to

achieve any Goal is to change the environment where you spend
most of your time. If your goal is to score good marks in the exams,
then spend most of your time in the class; though it may be boring
some time. Patience is very important to succeed in life. Spend time
with classmates who are serious in their studies, then in the library
completing assignments rather than watching TV or playing video
games. This will automatically change your Belief systems, which
will change your Actions and you will achieve your desired Results
and Goal. This is the secret formula for success.
Secret of Happiness: Maintaining

good relationship
Today if you are happy after you have financial stability and scored
good marks in the examination, because you have good relationship
with the people around you who matters to you; such as teachers,
classmates, seniors and parents.
The reason you have good relationship with them as you are
contributing to their life in some way. Contribution can be done in
three different ways. They are through Physical (Money, Book, Car)
resource, Intellectual resource (Knowledge) and Emotional (Love,
respect) resource. Emotional resource plays the vital role in our
lives but it’s the most neglected area; as we have been emotionally
beaten in the past in some course of our life. Therefore maintaining
core values play a vital role in long-term relationship.
Cotrbutions can be in 3 Different ways
Otherwise, we become worthless when we stop contributing. If

any relationship is not working well with you then there must be
missing of either of these contributions to the other person.
Let’s take your relationships with your parents. As a child you go

to your parents for all the support. They support you with all the
physical resources such as food, school fees, clothing, shelters etc.
You go to your parents to solve the school homework or clear your
doubts, in that way they contribute to your Intellectual Resources.
Suppose you scored a low mark than you expected and you didn’t
feel good about that, they support you by saying, “It’s OK “Betta”
(Son), this time we will study well and score good marks in the next
exam.” Or if you are not physically well and you are not feeling well;
you go to your parents as they always support you emotionally
(Emotional Resource) and you feel good.
Similar way your parents and teachers also expect intellectual

and emotional contribution from you. As a student your primary
business is to study. If you study well and score good marks in
your examination, your parents and teachers feel proud of your
contribution. In the process you are contributing emotional
resource to them and they will be happy. Your parents are not
looking for financial contribution from you, rather they are there to
contribute to your financial need.
If you are performing well in the examination, then you can help
your classmates through your intellectual resource and emotional
resource.
If any of your relation which you feel important, is not working well
with you ask yourself, “Am I contributing to other person’s life in
any way?”
You may not be able to contribute to other person’s life financially

or intellectually if you are not having income or fund to help

others. But you can help everyone emotionally as it is with every
one of us. But you must have the intent to do that, and then you will
automatically master the art of contributing to others emotionally
keeping your values intact.
Some of the ways you can contribute to others emotionally are:
Listening
Listening builds trust and creates better emotional bond. The most
precious asset which you can contribute to other is by listening.
Listen patiently and attentively to your teachers and parents though
you may have heard it before. Resist the urge to jump to a conclusion
and start playing your ‘I’ tape recorder. The most important aspect
in emotional contribution is the art of asking right questions and
listening patiently to understand.
Appreciation
Every individual is having some bad qualities as well as good

qualities. Our job is not to focus on their bad qualities but on their
good qualities. This is to be done genuinely. Some of us may not
have the skill of appreciating others, but this can be developed
through practice and taking a conscious effort over a period of time
and later on it will be a habit for you to appreciate others. If you
appreciate a person, he will feel good and happy. If a person feels
good and happy, he will also find the ways to make you happy.
The other emotional contribution can be through:
Patience,
Positive attitude &
Initiatives which I have discussed earlier chapter

Suppose your teacher scolds you due to delay in submitting

assignment. Instead of getting angry you can apologise for not
able to complete the task in time and take the immediate step of
completing the assignment. Ego is a vicious imaginary circle we
form unconsciously around us. We formed the habit of winning the
argument at any cost, by hook or by crook. In the long run we are
left alone. Losing argument is winning the Relationship.
Personal Notes
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Character is more important

than Intelligence
“Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of
value.”
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
Our values form our character and values can’t be taught, they
are imbibed and inherited. Values also determine one’s attitude.
During recruitment importance is given to intelligence but after
recruitment importance is on the character to sustain your job.
Values play a vital role for a long-term relationship. The most
common reason why people have disagreements is because they
have differences in values. The environments in which we have
been brought up play vital role in the creation of our values such as
our parents, friend circle and educational institutes where we have
studied.
There are personal

values and there are
core values. Personal
values and
organizational values
changes from places
to place, community
to community,
religions to religions
and person to person.
Dressing, cultural
practices, ways of
greeting are some of
the aspects of
personal values.
Core values or universal values are the same anywhere in this

universe. There can be many core values. The essential core values
are commitment, responsibility, trustworthy, kindness, patience,
punctuality, integrity, gratitude and forgiveness. No relationship
can sustain in the long run unless we practise these values.
The core values are like roots covered under the soil and cannot be
seen with naked eyes but benefits can be experienced in the long
run. As these can’t be seen with ordinary eyes, unless the other
people around us have a long-term vision they may term you as fool
and ignore you. This is the time to again remember the four traits to
achieve your ultimate success: Patience, Positive Attitude,
Punctuality (Persistence) and Initiative.
Our character is the sum total of values that we posses. Values can’t
be taught; they are imbibed and inherited from our parents. We
inherit character or values from our parents through genes, which
scientists have already proved; and through observation. During
childhood our parents are our role model. Whatever they do, we
tend to follow and whatever we do, if we get approval from our
parents we tend to accept as right action. If a child watches parents
to lie, the child will pick up lying unconsciously. If a child watches
parents to put on revealing dresses, the child will think, it’s Ok to
expose our body to get attention from others.
Once I was travelling in a train to Guwahati (a north-east Indian

city). I was sitting at the corner window seat. A father with his three
year old child was sitting in front of me on the other window seat.
When the train stopped in one of the station, a beggar came to the
window asking for alms. The child spitted on the beggar, but there
was no reaction from the father. The father said nothing to the child.
What the child will learn? “It’s Ok to spit on someone.” One day the
same child will spit on father if his demands are not met.
The father could have told his child, “It’s not right to spit on anyone.
Don’t do such nuisance in the future.” And he could have given a
rupee to hand over to the beggar; in the process the child would
have learned kindness.
I will narrate one of my own incidents. When I was young boy of 10

year old, I picked up two dry coconuts lying on the ground on the
way to our home. On the way home there is an unmanned garden
with full of coconut trees. Two coconuts were lying and there was
no one to pick them up. I thought, “My mother will make laddus
(round sweet balls of coconut and sugar) with those and we all
will enjoy. She will praise me for brining the coconuts.” But I got a
shocking treatment that day. My mother scolded me like anything.
She said, “In future never pick up anything from anywhere, and let
it be money. Please go and drop those coconuts from where you
picked them.” I felt so bad that day, but today I know why she did
that. I feel grateful to her for imparting me good values.
Values can’t be taught; they are imbibed and inherited
from our parents.
Most of you must be knowing the story of a teenager who used to

steal Cocks & hens from the neighbour. One day he was caught and
produced in the court. In the court the judge asked the boy before
pronouncing his verdict to send him to

juvenile correction centre, “If you have
got anything to say before I announce
my verdict.” The boy said, “I want to
talk to my mother.” When the mother
came, the child in the pretext of saying something to her ear he bite
her ear. Then the judge said, “What did you do?” The child answered,
“If I am going to jail my mother should also come along with me.
Everyone in the family enjoyed the feast. I didn’t know what is right
and what is wrong, but no one educated me on the consequence.
Employee – Employer Relationship
There is a saying “Marry the right person. This one decision will
determine 90% of your happiness or misery.” The same thing is
applicable in terms of the relationship between employee and
employer to determine happiness or misery in our life. It’s that vital
to have a cordial relationship in between employee and employer.
Out of the 24 hours of our day we spend 6 to 8 hours in sleeping
and 2 to 3 hours in travelling, so left with approximately 14 hours
time when we are awake and our brain is working fully. How much
time will you spend at the work place? You will be spending 8 to 12
hours at your work place. So major time of your professional life will
be spent at work place, therefore if you will not enjoy the company
of your colleagues while at work, your life would be miserable.
The two main components to build any kind of strong and happy
relationships are trust and contribution from both sides; let it be
husband–wife relationship, employee-employer relationship or
friendships. When one of the components is missing the relationship
breaks down. In the case of employee-employer relationship,
marriage takes place with the recruitment. The employee
promises to contribute his time, energy, knowledge and skills for

the employer, the employer trusts the candidate (employee) and
promises to contribute salary or package. As long as both trust each
other and are satisfied with contributions from both sides a healthy
relationship exists. But over a period of time the expectation from
each side keep increasing and as either of them are not happy with
the contributions, the doubt prevails and the whole environment
changes from sweet relationship to a sour relationship. We forget
our core values such as commitment, integrity, and forgiveness and
invite our own misery.
Let’s find out how an employee-employer relationship is established.

The employee-employer relationship takes place with the recruit-
ment as mentioned above. Initially we try to match with the physical,
intellectual and emotional parameter to recruit a person. Then we
put him under probation period to find out whether the candidate’s
values (character) are matching with the organisation. Now I am
going to discuss in detail each steps involved in this process. It will
give you insight for successful career during your future days ahead.
Physical Link or Matching: When a person wants to join an

organisation, certain aspects come into his mind, “How big is
the organisation, how much salary (package) I will get, will the
organisation be able to pay me that salary?” Therefore during
recruitment presentation the organisation will also boast their
physical assets to attract best talents.
In the same way the interviewer will give importance to physical

appearance- dressing, physical fitness. The interviewer may ask,
“Will you be able to work in night shifts and under tough situations?”
To check your physical fitness, you may be sent for a proper medical
check up by doctor before final recruitment. The procedure varies
from organisations to organisations and the position you have
applied for.
Employee – Employer Relationship

Physical Link or Matching
Intellectual (knowledge) matching:
Emotional Matching
Character (Values) Matching
Intellectual (knowledge) matching: The most important aspect

for the recruitment is the intellectual
(knowledge) matching. Whether
you have got the right kind of
knowledge the organisation is
looking for in that position. For
Intellectual matching during the recruitment there can be written
test, personal interview and practical test. To match the IQ
requirement there can be either or combination of tests.
As a candidate in your mind you will also think, “Will I gain any
intellectual from this organisation, will my experience be valuable
for my career growth?” Let’s
assume you are fresh out from
college and you got options: to
work for Microsoft as junior
engineer where you will get less
salary and another very small
organisation of 15 employees but
with higher salary than Microsoft. Where will you work? Most of
the candidate will opt for Microsoft with less salary to gain
intellectuals.
3) Emotional Matching may not be very high on the agenda

during recruitment, then also the interviewer will take note, how
do you answer the questions during personal interview and group
discussion sessions as you have to work in a team. When you are
working in a team, you will be dealing with human computers
and these human computers have got emotions. In the beginning
to fulfil your basic needs you may give more importance to salary
(physical asset). But as your basic needs are fulfilled you will give
more importance to Emotion and Core values. As a human being,
we take decisions emotionally and justify them rationally.
In the same way your (boss) employer expects you to support

emotionally to customers, colleagues, subordinates and superiors
at the best possible ways. The above three matching come under
personality; which can be judged during recruitment to some
extent.
4) Value Matching: Every organisation has got its own style of

functioning. If we want to get along with other team members
we must understand the organisational culture. Some members
are very rigid and want to stick to their old pattern of functioning.
It creates lots of misunderstanding and distraction to smooth
functioning of the organisation and in turn hampers the
productivity. Organisational culture comes under organisational
values and there are core values; if you can understand and get
along with organisational values and maintain your core values you
will enjoy your work.
During interviews every candidate will tell, “I am a person with

commitment, I am trustworthy, I have got experience in these fields,
I know so and so, I will do anything to improve the organisation.”
The organisation is not sure how much committed or trustworthy
you are, therefore every organisation has got a probation period.
As mentioned above, the kind of values you carry determines your
character. It takes minimum 90 days time to find out someone’s

character. But an organisation can’t be observing a person all the
time, therefore most of the organisations have got six months
probation period. There are no organisations in the world with
less than 3 month probation period for the new recruits. If any
organisation is not following this principle, like marriages the
organisations are going to face trouble in the long run.
Families are also like small organisation. When a girl gets

married, she adopts the other family. There are bound to be
some differences in culture to the adopted family, but sometime
the girl is not willing to adopt the new family culture and all the
trouble starts from there.
Why is there a probation period?
A person is recruited on the basis of his/her personality and IQ i.e.

knowledge about the task to be performed. We can’t determine the
character of a person in short period of interaction. Therefore all
the companies have got a probation period to judge the character of
the person. Personality can be imitated or acted (faked) for a short
period of time but the true character is bound to come out in long
run. In the beginning the employee promises to do whatever it takes
to grow the organization. The probation period is to determine if
the person is committed and trustworthy before placing him in
permanent category for long-term association. If the values are not
matching, employer can terminate the agreement at any period
without any prior notice. Therefore Character is more important
than intelligence.
Core values are also called Spiritual Asset. In western world core
values are known by SQ. To recruit top management position most
importance is given to SQ or core values of the individuals whoever
applies for the post. The top management position holder is already
having IQ and EQ otherwise he will not be in that position. But
if he is not having SQ, he will siphon the company fund to his
personal account.
The people whoever achieved extraordinary results in their life
took defeats, momentary failures and depression in their stride,
never lost courage or compromised with their values. Each and
every one of us possesses extraordinary capabilities and immense
potentials. But can you sustain your core values or give up to the
immediate pressure?
Success achieved without core values is short lived
If you don’t follow core values, no one remembers you including

your children. I knew an engineer who was working in Calcutta
Metro Rail project. He was caught by Anticorruption Bureau for
Rs.90,00,000/- manipulation. His name with photograph was
published in all leading newspapers. He couldn’t tolerate the
humiliation and committed suicide. After his death, his photograph
was kept in the drawing room. He was having a child of 14 year
old. One day his friends came to his house to meet him. They
saw the photograph and asked, “Whose photograph is that? We
saw this person in the newspaper. He has eaten away our 90 lakhs
(Rs.90,00,000/-).” The boy felt so embarrassed that he told his
mother not to keep any of his father’s photograph displayed in the
house. Whenever anyone asks his father’s name he uses the short
form to avoid his father’s true identity.
The stronger is your core values you can achieve more success
and happiness in your life. The ultimate leadership is all about
maintaining core values such as commitment, responsibility,
trustworthy, punctuality, persistence, integrity, gratitude and
forgiveness.
Core Values are like the roots of a tree and foundation of a

building. The stronger and deeper are the roots of the tree, higher
the tree can grow with stability. The tree can face any kind of
challenges like storm, flood & Cyclone. It will not be uprooted.
The stronger the foundation of your building more storeys you
can add on the top, otherwise the building will collapse. Some
of the corporate houses are building their business without a
strong foundation of core values and collapsing in no time, like
Enron, WorldCom, Lehman Brothers and Satyam Computers.
It may be shocking revelation to you that though we give too much

importance to physical appearance during any kind of relationship
building process but in the long run it accounts for only 1% out of
all the four matching. It is never love at first sight; it is always lust at
first sight. Initially we are attracted to the physical appearance but
matching the character last the relationship. Physical appearance
plays a crucial role in the beginning to bring people closer.
With the word appearance another incident reminds me. In a

celebration a person was filling
colourful balloon with helium gas
and releasing to the air. One child
asked, “Uncle, can you fly a black
balloon?” The person replied, “Yes
dear, it’s not due to the outer
appearance that the balloon goes
up. It’s the content that takes up
the balloon.” Your rise in your
organisation will also be
determined by the content you
have got not by the appearance
only.
Which is the longest relationship

in our life? Parents -child
relationship is the longest, as
long as our parents live we keep
our relation with them. But the
amount of time we spend together
in our life time is husband- wife.
Once we become adult we don’t
sleep with our parents, we will be
sleeping in our own room. We may
have alcohol or cigarette and parents may not know about them.
We will say only hi, hello before going to bed. We will take a mouth
freshener before going to meet our parents. But we can not cheat our
spouses as we have to sleep with them. We will be spending most of
the time at home with our spouses. They will be able to make out
from body language and facial expression that we are trying to hide
something, and trust may disappear in our relationships.
In our society marriage is the longest relationship. If we

consider four matching: Physical appearance, Intellectual,
Emotional and Values (Character) as 100%. To have an ideal
marriage relationship the importance of four matching are as
follows:
Physical appearance Link - 1%
Intellectual Link - 3%
Emotional Link - 6%
Values (character) Link - 90%.
First three are the part of our Personality and last one forms
our character.
Therefore the age old wisdom says,
“Wealth has gone nothing has gone,
Health has gone something has gone,
Character has gone everything has gone.”

Be an effective communicator
You can have the greatest ideas in the world, but they are of no
good to you and your career, if you can’t express them clearly
and confidently. Barrack Obama though from an ordinary family
background has become the 44th President of United States on
the power of his communication. We communicate on the basis
of our values, beliefs, thoughts and knowledge on the subject. As
a student you need to communicate your ideas in front of your
teachers, parents, classmates and later on in front of interviewer
to get selected for a good job or manage your own business. It’s
not what you communicate but how you communicate plays the
major role in every relationship.
I am not here to teach English grammar. There may be

some grammatical mistakes in my writing also. Here I am
going to discuss some negative impacting statements we
use in our day to day life unconsciously. Unconsciously we
communicate in a blaming or doubtful manner. If we can
take a conscious effort to modify those statements, we will be
a better communicator. For example instead of saying, ’you
should have come in time’ to ’will you come in time or can
you come in time.” And instead of saying, “I will try to come
in time” to “I will come in time.”
Everyone is right according to one’s perception. Even a mad person

in the street is right according to his perception; otherwise he will
not act in that way. If we disagree then the ego barrier of the other
person comes up and disrupts the communication process.
Therefore the first step to open the gate of our communication is

to agree with the other person and then put forward your views,
opinions and objectives of the communication. If you respect the
EGO BARRIERS
other person’s opinion, he will also respect your opinion to listen

and channel of communication will open. To agree we must listen
first. But very few people are willing to listen.
To be a better communicator, we have to be a better listener.

Listening skills is one of the most difficult skills though it seems
to be simple. Most of the time we are not listening but hearing and
there is a compulsive thinking going inside our mind, like playing
our own tape recorder. Most of the time we are preparing to reply
or answer with little listening and understanding the other person’s
ideas and perspectives. We have created such a strong wall of our
views, opinions and perceptions that we are always preparing to
defend our views and opinions to be the best.
If I listen, then only I can understand the other person’s view. We

must remember ‘listening builds trust’.
Though the fault is in every one of us, no one likes to be

blamed and commanded by others. If you can communicate
without blaming others, you can achieve better results in your
relationship.
Replace ‘YOU’ with ‘I’, whenever you want to express your

feeling. If you suppress your feeling by not expressing the
truth, you are inviting ‘Psychosomatic Health Disorder’ in
the long run. You can use this key in any language. There is
no barrier to express your feelings, replace ‘you’ with ‘I’ and
observe the response from the other person.
Building positivity in
communication
No one likes to be blamed

though the fault may be of his / her
It is easy to disagree but very difficult to agree
Replace "YOU" with "I"
How to communicate with parents?
The generation gap between your parents and you is 20 to 30 years

or may be more. What your parents think right may not be right
in the present context. How do you handle such a situation when
your parents speak something which may not be relevant with
the current circumstance and situation? This is one of the main
contexts of misunderstanding between parents and children in the
present generation.
If my father says something which is not

right in the present situation, I can
defend directly by disagreeing with
father by saying, “Dad what you are
saying is rubbish. Everyone makes fun
about your opinions. I have been in the
best schools and colleges in India and
abroad. I know what is right and what is
wrong. You don’t have to teach me.”
If I communicate to my father in this manner, my father will think
that it was better not to educate me.
The same message I can convey in a different way, “Dad what I am
today is because of you. You have given me opportunities to study
in the best schools and colleges in India and abroad. What they
taught me ‘this is right with the present context’. If anyone makes
fun about you I feel very bad, I get hurt. I agree with you, what you
are saying was right. But it was right 20 years back.” How will a
father feel? Will he be ready to listen to his son?
What have I done in the above statements, I have appreciated my
father’s effort for what he has done to me. I have used ‘you’ to praise
him and ‘I’ to express my feeling, how I feel if anyone makes fun
about him. I didn’t accuse or blame him for anything. I just expressed
my feeling without hurting him. I agreed with him that he is right
according to his perception (which was right 20 years back). Once
again I want to reiterate, “It’s not what you communicate but how
you communicate that makes the difference.”
A very common statement is used to say ‘no’, “I will try”.

How many times have you used the statement “I will try” in the
last 7 days? When do we use the words, “I will try.”? If we really

analyze, we will see most of the time we have used the statement to
say ‘no’. Certain action you have been asked to do and you are not
sure or you don’t want to do and to avoid saying ‘no’ and to avoid
immediate trouble you said, “I will try.” In the long run we create
bigger trouble for ourselves. The truth is “We train people how we
want to be treated”. Every time you use “I will try” you lose your
credibility infront of others.
To highlight the impact of “I will try” Let’s do this exercise.
Please place your pen or pencil on your left palm and try to lift
the pen by your right hand. I repeat, please try to lift, don’t lift. I
will hit if you don’t try and if you lift also. You must keep trying
to lift your pen. What happened? Is it
coming up? No.
That’s exactly happens when you say ‘I will

try’. In most instances job is not done. Let’s
analyze the statement. When I am saying,
“I will try” I am expressing doubt on my
own capability and intention. Doubts are our traitors.
First we communicate to ourselves and then we communicate

to others and sometimes we need to communicate to groups
also as a presenter or public speaker.
What have I done to myself, I have created a doubt in my own

capability. When I said, “I will try to complete the assignment by
Sunday” I communicated to myself that I am not sure whether
I can complete the assignment by Sunday. In most cases I will
be late in submitting my assignment. From today start observing
your statements, you will find every time you said” I will try to
be there by ---- time “You have been late.
Let’s go back to the example. You know whether you can lift the
pen or not, then where is the question of ‘try’ comes in the picture.
You can say, “I will lift or I will not lift.” There can be a situation,
when your teacher said to remove a box or an object weighing 200
pounds and you can lift only 100 pounds. What will you do? Most
of us say “I will try to remove’ though you know it is beyond your
capability. After an hour your teacher comes back and sees the same
object is lying there itself and shouts at you, “I told you to remove
that object.” Your response will be, “I tried but could not remove as
it’s too heavy”. The teacher replies, “You could have told me at that
time only to give you another person.” In this process we prolong
our communication and deadlines are not met.
The same communication could have been better if you had said, “I
will remove but I need someone’s help. It’s too heavy for me. Can
you ask someone to give me a helping hand?”
If we can avoid using ‘I will try’, this one statement will improve
your effectiveness in your communication to a greater extent.
Public speaking is a common source of stress for everyone, but

the best way to develop oneself. As a school captain or class leader
we will need to speak to all the classmates to get certain tasks
accomplished. And if we want to be leaders or achieve anything
meaningful in our lives, we will often need to speak to groups to
be successful. Therefore utilise every opportunity to participate in
school’s extracurricular activities such as debate, extempore, poem
recitation competitions. It will build your confidence and great
personality.
Wherever you go what you carry with you? It’s yourself. People
first see your dressing (packaging) and then what comes out
from your mouth. Again it’s not what comes out from your
mouth but how it comes out is more important. It is not what
you speak but how you speak make you an effective speaker.
Suppose you are thirsty and you went to super market to buy
a drink. There are two drinks of same price. One is nicely
packaged and the other is ordinarily packaged. Which one will
you pick up? Obviously the nicely packaged one
You have purchased the drink. Now you want to drink, but
having difficulty to open the bottle. After long struggle you
opened the drink bottle, but it spilled your dress. Will feel like
buying the drink again? NO.
“Dress Right. You can’t afford not to!” You may be having all
knowledge but how you dress and how you deliver matters.
Otherwise you miss opportunities; especially job interviews.
The top 5% of students commit to self-development. They invest

in books, courses and seminars to develop their skills and abilities.
They then go one step further and apply what they learn.
Only the top 5% students don’t waste time. They use the same 24
hours they have each day to get things done. They don’t waste hours
watching TV. These students are more likely to be part of the TV
entertainment than brooding on all problems.

1. When was the last time you spoke in front a group?
___________________________________________
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2. How do you rate your speech in terms of effectiveness?
___________________________________________
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3. What are the steps you are going to take to improve your
communication skills.
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How to control our mind?

“Everything one needs for happiness is within oneself.”
The root cause of all problems in this world is the human mind.
The toxic mind is causing turmoil in the family, society, country,
community and in you. If you want to conquer the world first
you have to conquer yourself. We are seeing the problem outside
and also searching the solution outside; therefore spending all
the energy and resources to control outside than own self. We are
reducing our horizon and creating enemies all around. At the end
we are living in fear and trying to guard ourselves against self.
Cleaning our body and mind is very important to be successful. A

person’s success is determined by the state of one’s mind. If there
is dirt in your room, what you do? You must be cleaning the room
and throw away the rubbish. If there is dirt on your body, what you
do? You must be going for a shower. But if there is dirt in your mind,
how do you clean?
Life is a continuous succession of problems. We are surrounded by

a world that seems preoccupied by negative events. Every radio and
television show, news channels, newspaper, and news magazine are
full of negative and sensational stories. The conversations of the
people around you consist largely of problems, negative gossips,
worries, and uncertainties about the future and doubts. Most of the
movies are full of violence, revenge and sex to excite and pollute our
mind for negative act.
Every incident has got a positive aspect and negative aspect,

how do we take it depends on what we think about ourselves.
These thoughts are generated from our mind. Our mind is a
superb instrument or you can say super computer if we know how
to use it rightly. But in most cases we don’t use the mind, mind uses
us. It always generates thoughts. Unless we take conscious effort
to generate positive thoughts, it generates negative or destructive
thoughts. We can compare mind like a fertile land. If we don’t take
conscious effort to grow useful plants, there will be weeds. The
quality of our thinking determines the quality of our life.
We can take an incident as failure or learning, feedback or being

blamed. It depends on our thinking and it is within us. If you
improve the quality of your thinking, you will improve the quality
of your life. By using our mind and generating positive thought,
we take charge of our life and determine our destination. We move
from being powerless to become powerful.
In our life we will be humiliated or hurt or cheated, if we keep on

carrying them in our mind we are carrying dirt in our mind. Are
you important to yourself? Then, why are you carrying all those
dirt?
Anyone or everyone can be happy and live in peace, if he or she is

living in a conscious state of living. But most of us are living in an

unconscious state of living identified with our mind i.e. ego. Ego is
a vicious circle around us, created by us only. Ego makes us to live
in the past and future, not in the present.
As mentioned above every incident has got a positive aspect and

negative aspect, how do we take it depends on how we think about
ourselves.
Stress Management: Strategy to

Clean Mind
Mind is the root cause of all the suffering. Suffering is mental and
pain is physical. How our minds perceive each and every incident,
on the basis of that our body reacts. Stress comes from suffering
than pain. In everyday life pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional
- a by-product of poor choice. We want to change the other person.
Things don’t change; you change your way of understanding. As
you change your perception everything changes for you.
Suppose your teacher scolded you for not completing your

assignment in time in front of other classmates. You may take it as a
feedback and promise to complete assignments in time or get angry
on your teacher and plan to take revenge. It’s up to your values and
thoughts. The main difference among individuals is ‘the sum
total of individual’s thoughts’.
We feed our body regularly to sustain the daily challenges and we

need to feed our mind to face the new challenges. You can cheat
the whole world but you cannot cheat yourself, your conscience.
According to Buddha’s discovery the body reacts on the basis of
your inner conscience. Whenever we do something against our
inner conscience to gain something in physical level or emotional
level, we start forming knots (deformities) in our body which we
are not able to recognize as our mind is always diverted outward.

As our mind is diverted outward we have lost the ability to sense
the reaction happening each and every moment. We only recognize
that when it comes out in the form of disease or pain as we grow
older. This kind of disorders are called psychosomatic health
disorders, “psyche’ means mind(emotions) and ‘soma’ means body,
The research shows that currently 90% of the patients admitted
in corporate hospitals are suffering from psychosomatic health
disorders.
There are positive emotions and negative emotions. Negative

emotions destroy us and we develop psychosomatic health
disorders: anger, frustration, revenge, jealousy, unease and anxiety
are some of the negative emotions. All the negativity is caused by
an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present.
Anger comes by birth, it’s an instinct. Most of the people exploit
them for their own benefit, specially film makers and politicians but
in the long run anger eats them. As they pass on the same values
to their children, children imbibe the same qualities. One day they
apply the same anger on their parents if anything goes against their
own interest.
There can be several methods to clean our mind. I have experienced

two methods extremely helpful to clean our mind: Forgiveness &
Gratitude Writing.
Forgiveness can be one of the hardest things to do in life. It

can also be one of the most liberating as our energy returns to us
and the person we are forgiving no longer holds power over us.
Forgiveness & Gratitude come under supreme core values.
If you can practise forgiveness you become supreme Selfish.
You don’t allow anyone to disturb your peace and happiness,
and you don’t give any opportunity to develop psychosomatic
health disorders in you. You will be able to focus on your studies

and score good marks.
Please write down the people you need to forgive on the space
provided (one of them may even be you) and the reasons you need
to forgive them.
You have joined a course and took money from your parents
for the course. You promised and committed to your parents
that you will do everything to pass out with flying colours.
Are you keeping your commitment? Once we take admission

in school or college most of us forget about our promises.
Instead of being serious about our studies we show seriousness
in our entertainment. Are we not committing mistake? Do I
need to forgive myself?
Mistakes happen with every one of us but if I carry that person in
my mind I get affected and can’t focus on the task and studies to be
carried out. One of the main reasons why we are not able to live in
the present moment and not able to enjoy the present is that we are
not able to forgive ourselves and others. If I can’t forgive other, and
myself, my mind gets preoccupied with those people who have hurt
me. I will get stressed.
We are living in a society and mistake may happen with our parents,
teachers, classmates, friends and seniors. If you can’t forgive them,
then every time you see them, read their name, hear their name or
any thought comes in your mind about them, you get disturbed
and not able to focus on the task to be carried out at that moment.
You are harming yourself. The control switch of your happiness is
outside, not within you. If you can’t forgive them, you get disturbed
and not able to focus on the task to be carried out and it will affect
your performance in examination and in turn your career.
The people who hurt you are ignorant of your good intention about
them; they lose a good person like you. You may feel pity on them.
No one does mistake consciously. Either they are ignorant or their
ego makes them to commit mistakes. If you can practise forgiveness
you will be free of tension, your mind will be clean, and you will lead
a happy life. Practising forgiveness shows that you give importance
to yourself. Forgiveness does not mean that you will have to go
and embrace the person or tell him that you have forgiven him.
You need to do it in your mind and you can write in a piece of paper
and throw it.
Below are examples on how to write forgiveness:
I,...my name…forgive myself for all the mistake I did because I was
ignorant and unconscious of the consequence of my actions.
I forgive …(Name of the person)..for all the wrong/ misdeed done

to me because he was ignorant. He did not know what mistakes he
was doing.
The above exercise to be carried out if anyone has hurt you
Gratitude Writing:
The other exercise to be carried out regularly is gratitude writing.

Our parents struggled hard to give us a good life. Sometimes we
forget about that. Instead of expressing our gratitude towards our
parents and teachers, we start abusing our parents and teachers. The
nature has got a way to give us what we desire but the nature has also
got a way to take away from our life if we don’t show gratitude for
what we have got. The research shows the students who write their
gratitude journal are happier, positive, and enthusiastic and live in
the present rather than in the past or future. They have better sleep
and better relationship with everyone including teachers, parents
and friends. They perform very well in their examinations. Express

your gratitude to those people who helped you in any form to make
your life. It will help you to remind good experiences and keep you
in positive mental state.
Maintain a Gratitude Journal. The idea is to write 3 to 5 things that

we have in life. It helps us to get more of the things that we want,
and it gives us a different attitude.”
Gratitude writing example:
I am grateful to my classmate XYZ for sharing knowledge with me.
I am thankful to my teacher Mr.YXZ for explaining the topic so

nicely today.
I am grateful to Mr.XYZ for helping me to reach in time.
I am grateful to bus driver for safe driving.
I am grateful to the film director for making such a good movie

(If you have watched a movie and felt good)
Meditation or breathing exercise is another exercise that must be

included to clean your mind.
If you can practise the above wisdoms you will be a happy and
successful person.
The metaphysician knows that all disease has a mental

correspondence, and in order to heal the body one must first “heal
the soul.” The soul is the subconscious mind, and it must be “saved”
from wrong thinking.

Please write the names and why you need to forgive them in a piece
of paper and throw it.
Gratitude writing example:
Please maintain a Gratitude Journal: Write the names of the people

who has helped you or made you happy in any form during the day.
Even you can mention non-living object like sun, moon etc (Thank
God I got a chance to see beautiful sun this morning which gave me
happiness. I am grateful to Mr.XYZ for sharing knowledge with me.
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Steps to manage your stress:

• Practise forgiveness whenever such situation arises.
• Write your gratitude journal everyday
• Be more observant than reactive
• Practise Mediation for minimum 15 minutes daily
• Practise Pranayam (Yoga) for minimum 15 minutes daily
Personal Notes
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If you want peace, be ready for

war
One of the common incidents happens in everyone’s life; the other
person makes mistake but to defend himself, he shouts at you and
put the blame on you. How do you handle such situations?
Let’s assume you are in your bike with your

friend sitting at your back driving properly.
Suddenly another person comes from the
wrong direction in his bike and he was about
to hit you. He shouts at you, “You idiot, don’t
know how to drive.” What will you do? Will you shout back with
same kind of wording?
If you don’t react, your friend may say, “Are you really an idiot?”
To prove you are not an idiot, you replied and that turned into
altercation. The altercation turned into physical fight and both
landed in hospital. Will you be able to accomplish your mission in
life, if you react in such small provocation?
My question, “If dog barks at you do you bark back?” Why not?
Because you know the dog is ignorant. You will come across dogs
around you in everyday life to provoke you. Why are you barking at
them? If you are barking back, then you also come to their level. You
are reading this book to come above that level. Fire of knowledge
i.e. awareness can take away your suffering.
When the same dog comes to bite you what you do? You hit back.
In the same way if any human dog comes to bite you, you also hit
back. Therefore one of our ancestors said, “If you want peace, be
ready for war”.
As mentioned before, we developed ego unconsciously and this

unconscious living is creating problems for us. Since childhood we

have been taught to win by hook or by crook. Most of the time we
take the crook path to win; the ego stops us to bow down our head
in spite of our mistakes.
When you know the other person is ignorant of his mistake, then
why are you making the same mistake? Fighting is never a solution,
imparting the right knowledge and the awareness is the solution.
If you can fulfill his ego for that moment, you can make a long-term
relationship with him. Later on you get an opportunity to rectify
his mistake.
Let’s take the same incident. The other person said, “You idiot, you
don’t know how to drive.” And you replied, “Sorry”. Would he come
to hit you? In 99.99 cases he would go away and you could have
also reached your destination in time, because his ego was fulfilled.
People around you including your friend might have criticized
you by saying, “You are a fool.” Regarding this criticism I have
discussed in detail in the next strategy. Dealing with criticism is a
very important obstacle to be crossed on the path of success.
Let’s go back to the above example where you fought with the other
person in that day. After three months of the incident one night your
brother met with an accident at 11pm. You have been informed to
come and pick him up. To pick up your brother you have to pass
through certain areas which are not safe during night and police
advised to avoid that area during night or move in a group. You
could not get any one and you didn’t have alternative. And you were
travelling alone in your bike at 11:30 pm to pick up your brother.
In the same route and towards the same direction, the same person
was travelling along with 4 friends and he could recognise that you
are the same person who broke his 5 bones. That day as you were
two persons you broke his five bones. How many bones of yours
would they break now?
Let’s take the second incident, where you

said, “Sorry”. What would he do to you
now? He would also reciprocate the same
gesture. His ego would dissolve and his
conscience will come up, “That day I
abused you and you said sorry. I am
extremely sorry for that day. By the way,
why are you here at this time? It’s not a safe place to travel at this
time.” You said, “My brother met with an accident and I am going to
pick him up.” He would say, “He is not only your brother, but our
brother. We all will come to pick him up.”
The question is, “How big is your family?” We keep on creating

enemies unconsciously with the influence of movies and TV
programmes. I feel the movies which promote violence and sexual
desires should be taxed heavily to discourage them. Taxpayers pay
a heavy price to stop violence and rapes in the society. Movies and
such programmes are polluting our mind.
Please focus on studies, go out and participate in outdoor sports

activities, form a team who would be interested in personality
development programme instead of watching movie and TV
serials. Practise meditation, yoga and join a health club. All
these activities will keep you physically and mentally busy to
avoid any wrong thoughts and deeds.
Our life is what we make by our own thoughts. Everything is a

consequence of our thoughts. All states of happiness or misery are
result of our own thoughts. Thought determines actions and actions
decides destiny, we create our own character and circumstances by
the manner of our own thinking. A happier tomorrow is built only

when we assert our will power to live a committed life today. By
the purity of mind one can gain higher success and unending
happiness. Therefore the secret for ultimate success in life is to take
responsibility and ownership of our own thought and our actions.
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How to deal with Criticism?

“It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
to achieve your GOAL and SUCCEED in life.”
People who ever achieved extraordinary result in their lives, were
initially criticized or labelled as fools; because they only could
see their long-term outcome or vision. Fear of criticism is one of
the biggest obstacles in the path of success. Whoever has been
successful in this world had to defeat this worst enemy- fear of
criticism. Some students refuse to set high goals due to the fear of
criticism from friends and relatives.
Successful students consider criticism as a feedback and opportunity

for improvement. Criticism is the measuring scale
to inform you that you are doing something
extraordinary. Those who don’t do anything
extraordinary in life don’t attract any criticism.
Criticism is a part and parcel of a successful student
life. We can’t make everyone happy in this world.
When you become serious in your studies and start
practising for your examination well in advance,
you will not be able to give company to your
friends. Your friends may make fun out of you by
labelling as ‘bookworm’.
Fear of criticism is one of the common reasons for

students to avoid speaking on the stage in spite of
having a strong desire to be a good public speaker
and presenter. Though Mrs. Sonia Gandhi could
not speak proper Hindi, but that has not stopped
her to come on the stage and today she is one of
the top leaders in the world. People have always
criticized her speech. Where are those critics? If Thomas Edison

would have feared ten thousand failures, we would not have got
electric bulb. When Marconi, inventor of wireless communication
announced that he had discovered a principle through which he
could send messages without any direct physical means, was taken
to a psychopathic hospital by his friends.
Some students blame their failure on the fate and some blame on
their near and dear ones for not getting the expected support from
them. Initially people will not support rather they will criticize;
that’s the law of the nature. Very few can overcome these criticisms
and stops taking any further action towards their goal. Only your
actions can take you to your destination.
Some students believe in rings and stones to change their fortune.

Rings and stones are the reminders to take action as you can see
them all the time. Stone can never change any one’s fortune. Our
body reacts when rays and vibration
pass through stones and metal that
touches our body. You can be
hyperactive or stone can make you dull
to stay back at home. If you can use
these reactions in your favour, you
achieve success. For example a student
who always prefers to stay back at
home will be given such a stone by
astrologer, he will become hyperactive.
He will feel like going out. He can use this action to meet teachers
& spend time in the libraries or run after girls. It’s up to his awareness.
On the other side if a student is hyperactive, he may be given the
opposite kind of stone to become lethargic and stay back home. He
can use this time to study and finish assignments to succeed in
career or keep watching movies, TV serials and sleeping.
Strike can never be a solution: It’s very easy to go on strike and

show anger. Show commitment and work towards your task instead
of taking the path to avoid studies. Today if you are following strike
to press your demands, tomorrow your children will also follow the
same path, because you impart the same values to your children.
That day for God’s sake don’t blame your children for the behaviour
shown to you.
You focus on your task; you will get what you deserve. It may take
some time, therefore I have discussed again and again- Patience,
Punctuality, Positive Attitude and Initiative are essential to be
successful.
Life is full of Adventures
Sometimes I feel formal education has stopped people to think.

Most of the time we are taking decision from our conditioned
mind to invite misery in our life. Let’s assume you have gone for
parasailing in ‘Hussain Sagar’ lake.
Parasailing is an adventure sport, also known as Para ascending.
This sport requires a speedboat and a parachute. The parachute
is tied to the speedboat. A rope of about 300 feet long is attached
to the parasail harness (a set of straps and metal pieces to fasten)
at one end and to the speed boat at the other. As the speedboat
speeds off, the Para sailor is hauled up in the air. The parascender
has little or no control over the parachute. The tow-vehicle
controls the speed and height of the person flying the parasail.
You are the ‘parascender’ and you have gone up in the air almost
100 meters above water level. Suddenly the parachute snapped and
you fell down in the water. You never knew swimming, but as you
were splashing water to survive, you realised you are floating very
easily and swam 200 meters to come to the shore. What would be
your reaction?
You went to the organiser and asked

for compensation. If organiser didn’t
agree to pay the amount you have
demanded, you took him to the
court. After several months and
several rounds in the court you got
the money that you demanded. But you realised the amount you
have shelled out to lawyers and your travelling expenses plus your
parent’s office absence is almost the same. More over you had to
pass through all the agony of coming back to the court again and
again to attend all the session which was terrible. What you gained?
Every incident has got a positive aspect and negative aspect, how
do we take it depends on how we think about ourselves. You can
take the incident as failure or learning. You went for adventure and
you had real adventure in the trip. You learned swimming due to the
incident; you came to know your capability that you can fall down
from 100meter above water level and still you can swim more than
200meters. What a great adventure!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
Nelson Mandela
You had the true experience of the Nelson
Mandela’s above statement that you are
powerful beyond measures. If you could
think that way, you could have thanked the
organiser from the heart. Organiser was
terrified and nervous due to the accident
and was expecting that you would shout at
him. But what you did? You thanked him.
What would be his reaction, “Sir, are you human or God. I gave you
so much pain and you are thanking me. Please forgive me and if I
can be of any help please let me know. Please allow me to pay any
medical expenses.” You gave him opportunity to acknowledge his
mistake and built long-term relationship for ever. You have increased
your family. If you want to come back for parasailing, you will
always be welcomed like their family members
Some people may criticise your act of thanking the organiser. But
you followed your conscience. If you are practising the previous act,
you will never be welcomed and create enemies everywhere.
It is not what others do but our own mistakes that hurt us the most;
it is our response to those provocations. What people will say or do
is under their control. But how you will react is under your control.
If anyone criticise you to be fool, you agree and say “Yes, I am fool
or mad” and carry on your task. In the long run people will come
to know who fool is. You can have control on your thoughts, and
thoughts are generated from mind. You can achieve mastery over
your mind through conscious and continuous practise; otherwise
compulsive thinking will take you over. By controlling your mind
you can control your destiny. Your mind & conscience is your
spiritual asset. Protect and use it with the care. God has given us
the will power to protect it from evil purpose. Mind control is the
result of self-discipline and habits. You either control your mind
or it controls you. There is no half-way compromise. The most
practical of all methods for controlling the mind is the habit of
keeping our mind busy with a definite purpose and definite goal in
our life, not 10 different goals.
No one has learned everything from birth. We learn through making

mistakes. How many times you have fallen down to learn walking?
Please don’t get afraid to make mistake to avoid criticism. Criticisms
are your feedback that you are going to be an extraordinary person

in the future. Coal had to go through extreme temperature and
pressure to become diamond, and this diamonds need cutting
and polishing before they can be useful. You are a rough diamond;
dealing with criticism is polishing the diamond that is you. Wish
you all the success in your life.
Please make this year your best year ever.
1. What is the one thing you really need to complete this year?
2. Please write three steps you will take in the next 30 days?
3. Please write down the strategies you will be following th is year?


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Forgiveness Exercise:
Goal & Inspirational writing: Date:
Gratitude Exercise : I am grateful for today is


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Forgiveness Exercise:
Goal & Inspirational writing: Date:
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Student’s

Life Management Academy

This book is copyright under the Berne Convention.

Printed and bound in India by

If we want to change the society, organisation or our family for

Most difficult task in human life is to conquer self. If you can

Ever since my first book: ‘9 Secrets, the Ultimate Success Strategies’

Strategy is a bundle of actions to be taken to achieve a goal. Goal is

If you want to play a game, you need to be aware of

The student period of our life is to create a

Bamboo takes four to five years to set its root

time to interact with friends and participate in every fun activity.

The fear of criticism is one of the biggest obstacles in

You are a rough diamond; dealing with criticism

I am deeply grateful to Mr P V S Ravindra Varma for his moral

I am thankful to Mr M G Sankara Pillai and Mr P Sheshanjaneyulu

I am grateful to Mr Srinivas Gaud of Balaji Graphics for his support

The others I need to express my gratitude for all their support

Last but not the least, I am grateful to all the members of my

Every student wants to become someone successful but how many

Let’s analyze- who hates whom or who is killing whom? I hate

You may not like to get up early morning

or where the due date has expired. Suppose you wanted to be a

Most of the precious things on this earth come to us

Our Mind is the root cause of

There is nothing wrong in blaming and everyone is right according

If you want to control a situation or your life, you need to control

Success Action Exercise - A

Q. In the last 7 days how often you said “I know”?

Q. Describe a situation when you have been observant and the

I will take out 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the

This is the story about four people named Everybody,

Three kinds of Students:

In an educational institute on the basis of thoughts all the students

If a student does not get a job, whom does he blame first?

If he was sent to a good English medium public school, he will be

According to our perception there is nothing wrong in blaming. We

If I keep on blaming everyone and take least effort to know and

Whenever we point out a finger toward anyone, how many fingers

There is another category of student who takes responsibility of his

There is no power in life unless a person takes full Responsibility for

The most empowering position is to be a CREATOR. To say

Baraka Obama,. They all came out of extreme challenges in their

Same way tough situations come in everyone’s life. How do you

opportunity. Who ever have become successful had to go through

At the dawn of Independent India

He specialized in Aeronautical Engineering from Madras Institute

In his book Dr. Kalam wrote “During the II world war in

I used to collect the paper and run around the Rameswaram

Be a responsible son and do not make your mother starve”.

Hrithik Roshan was born on 10 January 1974 in Mumbai, India.

He was enrolled in the fifth grade at the esteemed Punahou

Obama attended Columbia University. After that he went to

Whoever I discussed above are ordinary people with extraordinary

We become what we think about ourselves. How you think

start taking responsibility of your life, you start controlling

Success Action Exercise

Describe an incident when you took responsibility.

Justify Lay Blame

Four basic traits needed to

Patience is one of the most important qualities for improvement

Everyone has got 24 hrs in a day. If I am not punctual, then I am

other’s negative aspect we forget to look towards our own negatives.

We always like a student who takes initiative by himself to take up