Even positive life changes can cause stress.

What are the things that come up to your mind if you think of positive life

changes? Getting married, moving to a bigger house, Win the lottery… People

normally think these as positive life changes. Therefore, when someone is getting

married, not only his/her family members and friends but also strangers give

applause and wish luck. The same thing happens to the lottery. Lots of people are

desperate to win the lottery so that their miserable life could be changed

completely. The lottery is like a key for them. When people see an article about the

lottery winner, the comment section is full of jealous people’s comments. Likewise,

people think positive life changes bring only positive things. But that’s not true.

They only see one side of a coin. Bad life changes cause stress of course. Everybody

is aware of that. However, only do bad changes cause stress? These are three

examples of people who got stressed after having positive changes.

The common belief that people will eventually get married to somebody

makes people think marriage as an easy step. But the cost is huge. Not only in

financial issue but also in keeping each other’s space, it needs huge effort to keep
the marriage in a good way. It is said that this generation is facing this situation,

you have to give up three things; relationship, marriage and having a kid. Likewise,

society is changing. Yet some people still believe that marriage is a common

mission for everybody. But marriage brings huge stress. Two different people are

living in one house. They become each others’ legal family. It brings the

responsibility that my action influence to my family, not just myself. There is a

saying in Korea. “You never know this is the one you’ve been waiting for until you

get married.” It implies that there is more unhappy marriage than a happy marriage.

Furthermore, marriage itself is not only a good thing for everyone. A marriage with

a bad start could end into a bad result. He/she could be forced to get married in

the name of the marriage of convenience.

When a child grows up to the age of university student, they leave their

home. Before that time, they were together with their parents. Going to university

means more than just ‘living alone’. It’s a huge step for people going through in

their life. It is generally considered a good life change. You get an opportunity to

see various aspects of the world. But it causes stress to both of a child and its
parents. Emptiness syndrome and New semester blues are examples. Parents feel

isolated from their own child, knowing that they are not the same person they’ve

been raised anymore. Parents find it hard to admit that their child doesn’t need

help from them anymore. And for a child, going to university would be not

considered as a positive life change. Most people go to university when they

become an adult. Being an adult means that they take responsibility for their action.

That thing is enough to burden a child. And the university problem comes up. The

feeling of being protected by parents is gone. Likewise, both parents and child will

be suffering from a new change.

Many people dream about having a baby with their loved ones, or they just

dream about a baby. In general, having a baby is considered a fortune. Especially

these days, when childbirth ratio has been decreasing. Government promotes the

profits they’re going to supply to those who gave birth to a baby. Watching a tv

program that shows celeb and its kid, people say ‘I wish I have a baby like that kid'

easily. Even though there is a positive image of having a baby, the reality is a bit

different than the expectation. Having a baby means you need to spend money on
the baby. More money, more time and more patients are required. Plus, there is a

possibility that your kid born with a disability like down syndrome or autism. It cost

even more money, time and patience in case of a disabled baby. What if the poor

couple gave birth to a baby and it turns out their baby has a disability? Whether

they give up to raise a baby or not, they will force lots of problems. You'll never

know your baby will be born healthy or disabled. Also, having a baby cause an

argument between the couples or a person who is responsible for the baby.

Unplanned pregnancy or forced pregnancy are happening too.

Just as these three examples, even positive life changes cause stress. ‘Do

not judge a book by its cover.’ This sentence exactly defines my opinion. Something

might be seen as a positive thing to you. But it doesn't count as a positive thing

to everyone. If there is a positive side, there is always a negative side. Likewise,

even negative life changes cause happiness too. For example, a victim of a crime

will be happy if a person who hurt the victim dies. To become a person who is not

seeing a thing in one particular perspective, you need to have these attitudes. First,

be open minded. Even the same action does not cause the same result. And second,
be ready for unexpected things. You need to be aware that everything can happen.

Positive things can cause stress. Negative things can cause happiness.