Ye Must Be Born Again

“Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be ​born again​,
he cannot see the kingdom of God." (John 3:3)

"Now I say unto you that ye must repent, and be ​born again​; for the Spirit saith if ye are not
born again ye cannot inherit the kingdom of heaven" (Alma 7:14)

What does it mean to be born again?

If our goal in life is to inherit the kingdom of God, the scriptures insist we must be "born again".
But what does this mean? And how do we know if we've been born again? And if we haven't
been born again yet, how is it accomplished?

These are very important questions. According to the scriptures our membership in the kingdom
of God hinges on how we understand and act on this topic...

“And the Lord said unto me:​ Marvel not that all mankind, ​yea, men and women, all nations,
kindreds, tongues and people,​ must be born again;...and unless they do this, they can in
nowise inherit the kingdom of God.”​ (Mosiah 27:25-26)

It would be beneficial to take a moment to think about the three scriptures referenced thus far.
They say, in very clear language, that if you want to live with God again you must be "born
again".

To put it another way, ​if you have not been born again you have failed to meet the requirements
to enter the kingdom of God.

Take a few minutes to let the importance of this sink in if you need to. It’s not something to be
taken lightly, nor do you want to just assume that it will take care of itself if you’re a good
person.

To take this a step further, it would also be helpful to ask yourself if you know the answers to
these questions:

● Can you define what it means to be born again?

● Do you know how it is done?
● Do you know the signs and experiences that accompany it?

If you're not sure of the answers to these questions, please read on. If we are to take the
scriptures seriously, your entrance into the kingdom of heaven depends on it.
So what does it mean to be born again?

To understand what it means to be born again, it helps to know that the scriptures have many
ways of describing this experience:

Alma describes being "​born again​" as being “​redeemed​”, being made into a “​new creature​”,
and becoming “​sons and daughters of God​” (Mosiah 27:25–26)

Likewise King Benjamin defines it as a “​mighty change​”, becoming a “​child of Christ​” and
having "​no more disposition to do evil​ but to do good continually." (Mosiah 5:2-3, 7)

As we will explore below, when the scriptures speak of being "​saved​", "​converted​", receiving a
“​remission of sins​", or when a great spiritual change is talked about, such as when someone
“​becometh a saint​ through the atonement of Christ the Lord” (Mosiah 3:19), they are all
describing the same thing. As you familiarize yourself with how all these terms are used in the
scriptures you come to realize that they each are related to, and describe the experience of,
being ​born again.​ ​ You start to see that this one event is talked about ​all over the
scriptures.

Elder David A. Bednar brought these scriptures together when he said:

“We are instructed to “come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny [ourselves] of all
ungodliness” (Moroni 10:32), to become “​new creature[s]” in Christ​ (see 2 Corinthians 5:17),
to put off “the natural man” (Mosiah 3:19), and to experience “​a mighty change in us, or in our
hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually​” (Mosiah
5:2). Please note that the conversion described in these verses is mighty, not minor​—​a
spiritual rebirth and fundamental change of what we feel and desire, what we think and
do, and what we are​. Indeed, the essence of the gospel of Jesus Christ entails a fundamental
and permanent change in our very nature made possible through our reliance upon “the merits,
and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah” (2 Nephi 2:8). As we choose to follow the Master,
we choose to be changed​—to be ​spiritually reborn​.”
(“Ye Must Be Born Again” David A. Bednar, April 2007 General Conference)

If we were to try and take everything that's been said concerning this experience and sum it all
up, it could be defined like this:

To be born again is to be cleaned from all your sins and to be fundamentally changed
into someone who naturally only desires to do good.

This single experience, this one moment, is brought up over and over again in the scriptures.
And for good reason--not only is it a springboard into a life devoted to God, but ​we cannot live
with God again without it.
“Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, ​Except a man be born
again, he cannot see the kingdom of God​." (John 3:3)

"Now I say unto you that ye must repent, and be born again; for the Spirit saith ​if ye are not
born again ye cannot inherit the kingdom of heaven​" (Alma 7:14)

How do I know if I’ve been born again?

This is an important question to ask yourself. Alma asked it of the members of the church in his
day:

“And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been ​born of
God​? Have ye received his image in your countenances? ​Have ye experienced this mighty
change in your hearts?”​ (Alma 5:14)

To be born again means to start a new life. To experience a “mighty change in your heart”. But
how do we know if it has happened to us?

The results of being born again are actually very hard to miss. It is called a “mighty change” for
good reason.

To know if you've experienced this, you first need to recognize how the scriptures describe the
change it creates in you.

The change you experience when you are born again is the exact opposite to the state we are
used to being in: that of the "natural man".

You see, as we become accountable for our actions we inevitably sin and each of us becomes
“​carnal, sensual, and devilish​, and are shut out from the presence of God.” (Moses 6:49). It
doesn't matter to what degree we've sinned, we are “natural men”, and we can't return to God in
this condition. This is where we all start out. Once we have sinned, this is our default state: “For
the natural man is an enemy to God​, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever
and ever, unless…”

Here is where the change happens:

“...unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and
becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord​, and becometh as a child,
submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love​, willing to submit to all things which the Lord
seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Mosiah 3:19)
The moment you are born again, you are changed from your “natural man” condition to that of a
saint. In an instant you acquire the attributes listed above. You find that submissiveness and
meekness before God is your new natural state, that your patience and humility are boosted far
beyond where they were before, and looking on others with charity is second nature to you.

There is a very real, very literal ”mighty change” that comes upon you at the moment you are
born again. King Benjamin's people described it like this: “the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent…
has ​wrought a mighty change in us​, or in our hearts, that we have ​no more disposition to
do evil​, but to do good continually.” (Mosiah 5:2)

Other instances in the scriptures speak of this moment and the change the people experienced:

“And it came to pass that when Ammon arose he also administered unto them, and also did all
the servants of Lamoni; and they did all declare unto the people the selfsame thing—that ​their
hearts had been changed; that they had no more desire to do evil​.” (Alma 19:33)

Alma the Younger said of his own father: “And according to his faith there was ​a mighty
change wrought in his heart​. Behold I say unto you that this is all true. And behold, he
preached the word unto your fathers, and ​a mighty change was also wrought in their
hearts…​” (Alma 5:12-13)

This moment of great change is mentioned all over the scriptures. Here are a few more…

“Cast away from you all your transgressions, whereby ye have transgressed; and ​make you a
new heart and a new spirit​: for why will ye die, O house of Israel?” (Ezekiel 18:31)

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a ​new creature:​ ​old things are passed away​; behold,
all things are become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

“And the Lord said unto me: Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations,
kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, ​changed from their
carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness​, being redeemed of God, becoming his
sons and daughters; And ​thus they become new creatures​; and unless they do this, they can
in nowise inherit the kingdom of God.” (Mosiah 27:25-26)

If you've never noticed how much the scriptures talk about this, hopefully you are seeing it now.
This process of repenting and being changed is a theme that runs throughout the standard
works.

President Benson described it this way:

“When we have undergone this ​mighty change​, which is brought about only through faith in
Jesus Christ and through the operation of the Spirit upon us, it is as though we have ​become a
new person​. Thus, the change is likened to a ​new birth​. Thousands of you have experienced
this change.” (Chapter 5: Principles of True Repentance, Teachings of the Presidents of the
Church, Ezra Taft Benson)

What is it actually like to be born again?

In the aftermath of being born again individuals and entire peoples have made remarkable
changes under the influence of the spirit.

This is the moment that turned Alma the Younger into a missionary for the Lord, the experience
that changed King Lamoni and his father into righteous rulers of the Lamanites, and brought
thousands of converts to God. It caused the Lamanites to bury their weapons of war so they
would never offend God again, and caused everyone listening to King Benjamin to become fully
converted to the Lord as a people. In each of these examples, people were fundamentally
changed on the inside at the moment of their born again experience.

Keith B McMullin of the Presiding Bishopric related and commented on the experience of
President Joseph F. Smith:
“​When one is born again, his heart is changed. He has no appetite for things evil or
unclean.​ He feels a deep and abiding love for God. He wants to be good, to serve others, and
to keep the commandments.
President Joseph F. Smith​ described his experience with this mighty change: ‘The feeling that
came upon me was that of pure peace, of love and of light. I felt in my soul that if I had sinned
… it had been forgiven me; that ​I was indeed cleansed from sin​; my heart was touched and I
felt that I would not injure the smallest insect beneath my feet. I felt as though I wanted to do
good everywhere to everybody and to everything. I felt a ​newness of life​, a newness of desire
to do that which was right. ​There was not one particle of desire for evil left in my soul.​ I was
but a little boy, it is true, … but this was the influence that came upon me, and I know that it was
from God, and was and ever has been a living witness to me of my acceptance of the Lord.’
So we call upon you wonderful young brethren to ​diligently strive to be “born again.”​ ​Pray
for this mighty change in your life.​ Study the scriptures. Desire more than all else to know
God and to become like His holy Son.”
(“The Power of the Aaronic Priesthood” Keith B. McMullin, October 2011)

Being born again is a life-changing event!

To provide a bit more detail, here is my own personal journal entry on the day I was born again.
I had spent months learning everything I could about what it meant to be “born again”. As I
searched, pouring over the scriptures (including the ones mentioned above) I began to truly
believe that this was something real and that we've been instructed by God to pursue it.

I had been praying for this experience for several days and, on July 9th 2017, the following
occurred...
------

An hour and a half into my prayer I started exploring my own history of trying to overcome sin.
There are many carnal, sensual, and devilish issues that have an audience in my mind on a
regular basis. How many times have I stewed over someone else's reckless driving long after
the incident occurred? How many times had I lingered on the picture of a shapely woman when
I should have looked away? How many times had I lost my temper with my kids and replayed
the incident in my head coming up with new and unusual ways to put them in their place? How
many hours had I spent watching movies and shows with all sorts of inappropriate content?
How many times had I imagined seriously harming or even killing a stranger because, in a
situation I had created in my imagination, he was threatening to harm me or my family? These
kinds of things run through my head all the time. They are natural man tendencies, and I'd been
trying to change them for years, even decades, with little progress.

And how often did I forget to do the things that would nourish my spirit? It seems if I focused on
one area of spirituality I could excel at it, but in the meantime the others would get forgotten. If I
focused on scriptures, my prayers would get forgotten. If I then focused on prayer, I'd do a poor
job at magnifying my callings. And how long has it been since I've been to the temple?? And
now look--it's been a week since I've picked up my scriptures...

And I began to realize just how stuck I was in these tendencies. Tendencies that pulled me
away from spiritual things while violent, vengeful, inappropriate images had a regular audience
in my mind, and occasionally they exhibited themselves in real life in much more minor, but no
less real, ways. And I began to realize I would never be rid of them, no matter how hard I tried,
because I was a carnal man. I was in a fallen state. My most basic sins were not going away, no
matter how hard I tried. I had been trying to change these things for YEARS, with little
progress. Scripture decreed that I'd be in this sensual and devilish state continually unless I was
changed, not by my own efforts but by Christ. Suddenly I could see the hopelessness of my
situation unless I could get help. Only the purity and love afforded by Christ's atonement could
ever bridge that gap between where I was and where God is. Otherwise I would be continuously
fighting and ultimately losing the battle for my soul. I could not overcome these carnal
tendencies by my own will. I had been trying to for 40 years! Left to myself, it was just never
going to happen.

As the full hopelessness of my situation dawned on me, that without help I would wear the stain
of these sins till judgement day, I began to feel completely bound down and trapped with no way
out. I was stuck. And there was nothing I could do about it. I came to realize and truly feel the
awfulness of my situation, and I saw in my mind a wide chasm between myself and where God
and Christ stood, and there was no way for me to cross over to them. I was desperate to do
something, but I was completely helpless to do anything, and as I began to wallow in the
hopelessness of my situation, I cried out in my mind as Alma the Younger did "Jesus Christ,
thou son of God, have mercy on me!"--and immediately the spirit washed over me from head to
toe, and it remained for several seconds. But during that time I also felt a warm heat envelope
me--a real, tangible heat all around my body.

As it dissipated, I wondered in myself "Was that it? Have I been born again? Is that what I just
experienced??" I wasn't sure. I lay down on my bed pondering this for some time.

I definitely felt different. I felt... clean? Pure? It's hard to describe.

As I lay there I started testing some things out in my mind. I started, carefully, to think of some of
the unwelcome images that might enter into my head and hang around on any given day... and
the images seemed to bounce right out as soon as they came in. I didn't want to push that too
much, but that was encouraging! I went to the grocery store before work and found it easy to
look strangers in the eye and smile at them... the beginnings of charity, perhaps? I noticed a
low-level buzz around my body, not the audible kind but the kind where you just feel sort of
good all the time. I could tell a difference...

Update:
It's been several weeks since this experience, and things are certainly different for me. The spirit
is much more present in my life. In general the scriptures make more sense to me, and I feel my
mind has been enlightened many times while searching for answers to questions and trying to
understand gospel concepts.

I have become much more sensitive to spiritual promptings, particularly in regards to sin. For
example, when I am about to get contentious I get a strong warning from the Holy Ghost that I
need to stop. All sins are this way--if I step out of line, or I am about to, I can feel it immediately
and I can pull back.

Likewise, bad thoughts bounce right off my brain. Inappropriate thoughts that previously might
have found a home in my head are booted out as quickly as they appear. This has been the
most amazing thing for me!

I've felt positive attributes more strongly, such as love for others. I have more empathy and
patience... a LOT more patience. Especially with my kids. This has been one of the most useful
and practical daily benefits of being born again--I feel much more able to work with my children,
and other people, in a way the Lord approves of. There have been times when my children said
something that would normally start an argument, but the spirit shows me what they're really
trying to say and then helps me respond in a way that completely defuses the situation. This has
made a huge difference in our home!

The media I use to consume (movies and tv shows and other forms of worldly entertainment)
holds little interest for me now. I'd much rather spend my time searching the scriptures and
praying. I find these activities more and more fulfilling than anything else!
I look forward to praying more than anything because it is so productive and satisfying. I feel the
spirit guide my thoughts to new ideas and interesting scriptures, and I continually find
connections to how the words of the prophets apply to my life. Even after spending hours
praying and reading scriptures, I'm sad when I have to move on with my day.

Sharing the gospel with others has become one of my burning desires. This experience has
dramatically improved so many aspects of my life that I am excited to bring it to others. This one
thing--being born again--will have an immediate and huge impact on any individual who
receives it, and I want everyone to have it!

I feel I truly have no more desire to do evil, but to do good continually. I've been changed. And
the change was real and dramatic and instant. All those things that I struggled with
before--praying continually, feasting on the words of Christ, keeping all his commandments,
having the spirit with me always--might actually be possible now. So far so good!

And I'm so excited--if being born again is such a powerful and life-altering thing, then what about
the other things the scriptures talk about? What about spiritual gifts? What about visions? What
about angels? What about miracles? What about receiving your calling and election? What
about meeting Christ and God? These things are referenced repeatedly in the scriptures, and
suddenly I'm looking at these as real life possibilities. Maybe they're not just nice stories of
impressive people in times past--maybe they're in the scriptures to help guide us to do the same
thing. Why not? This gospel has true power in it!

I feel I've taken the first step, and the scriptures promise far more to those who continue from
here.

------

That was my own born again experience. If you've experienced something similar it is very
possible you’ve been born again and didn’t realize it. You certainly would have noticed the
change in yourself, even if you didn't know what to call it.

How to be born again

After having my own born again experience, I became very interested in how others could
experience the same. The scriptures contain not only the results of being born again, but details
on how it is received. There are 3 basic steps:

1. The person came to a full realization of their fallen standing before God
2. They repented, relying upon the mercy of Christ
3. They experienced the mighty change that true repentance brings
Applying this to my own experience, it looks like this:

1. The person came to a full realization of their fallen standing before God (​I began to realize
and truly feel how trapped I was in my sins​)
2. They repented, relying upon the mercy of Christ (​I cried out to Christ for mercy in my
moment of deepest despair​)
3. They experienced the mighty change that true repentance brings (​all the changes and
increased attributes as I've described above​)

Let's examine King Benjamin's people:

"1 And now, it came to pass that when king Benjamin had made an end of speaking the words
which had been delivered unto him by the angel of the Lord, that he cast his eyes round about
on the multitude, and behold they had fallen to the earth, for the fear of the Lord had come upon
them.
2 And they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the
earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning
blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for
we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who
shall come down among the children of men.
3 And it came to pass that after they had spoken these words the Spirit of the Lord came upon
them, and they were filled with joy, having received a remission of their sins, and having peace
of conscience, because of the exceeding faith which they had in Jesus Christ who should come,
according to the words which king Benjamin had spoken unto them." (Mosiah 4:1-3)

Applying the 3 steps to their situation looks like this:

1. The person came to a full realization of their fallen standing before God (​"they had viewed
themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth"​)
2. They repented, relying upon the mercy of Christ (​"And they all cried aloud with one voice,
saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive
forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified..."​)
3. They experienced the mighty change that true repentance brings (​“we have no more
disposition to do evil, but to do good continually."​)

This is the pattern of how one is born again.

Alma the Younger describes it this way:

"13 Yea, I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of
hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy
commandments...
17 And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the
memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto
the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the
world.
18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son
of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the
everlasting chains of death.
19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was
harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.
20 And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as
exceeding as was my pain!" (Alma 36:13,17-20)

Here are the key points of Alma's experience:

1. The person came to a full realization of their fallen standing before God (​“I did remember all
my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell”​)
2. They repented, relying upon the mercy of Christ (​“I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou
Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about
by the everlasting chains of death.”​)
3. They experienced the mighty change that true repentance brings (​“my soul was filled with
joy as exceeding as was my pain!", and from then he went on to repair all the damage he
had done to the church and became a great spiritual leader​)

Here's another example, this time King Lamoni:

"39 But this is not all; for he (Ammon) expounded unto them the plan of redemption, which was
prepared from the foundation of the world; and he also made known unto them concerning the
coming of Christ, and all the works of the Lord did he make known unto them.
40 And it came to pass that after he had said all these things, and expounded them to the king,
that the king believed all his words.
41 And he began to cry unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, have mercy; according to thy abundant
mercy which thou hast had upon the people of Nephi, have upon me, and my people.
42 And now, when he had said this, he fell unto the earth, as if he were dead...
6 Now, this was what Ammon desired, for he knew that king Lamoni was under the power of
God; he knew that the dark veil of unbelief was being cast away from his mind, and the light
which did light up his mind, which was the light of the glory of God, which was a marvelous light
of his goodness--yea, this light had infused such joy into his soul, the cloud of darkness having
been dispelled, and that the light of everlasting life was lit up in his soul, yea, he knew that this
had overcome his natural frame, and he was carried away in God" (Alma 18:39-42, 19:6)

Here are the steps King Lamoni took to receive this experience:
1. The person came to a full realization of their fallen standing before God (​King Lamoni came
to fully understand his need for repentance as Ammon “expounded unto them the plan of
redemption”​)
2. They repented, relying upon the mercy of Christ (​“O Lord, have mercy; according to thy
abundant mercy which thou hast had upon the people of Nephi, have upon me, and my
people.”​)
3. They experienced the mighty change that true repentance brings (​King Lamoni received the
“marvelous light of (God's) goodness” that infused his soul with joy, and he became a
spiritual leader to his people thereafter​)

Do you see how it works? Let’s look at King Lamoni's father. See if you can spot the pattern as
it unfolds:

"15 And it came to pass that after Aaron had expounded these things unto him, the king said:
What shall I do that I may have this eternal life of which thou hast spoken? Yea, what shall I do
that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast, and receive his
Spirit, that I may be filled with joy, that I may not be cast off at the last day? Behold, said he, I
will give up all that I possess, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy.
16 But Aaron said unto him: If thou desirest this thing, if thou wilt bow down before God, yea, if
thou wilt repent of all thy sins, and will bow down before God, and call on his name in faith,
believing that ye shall receive, then shalt thou receive the hope which thou desirest.
17 And it came to pass that when Aaron had said these words, the king did bow down before
the Lord, upon his knees; yea, even he did prostrate himself upon the earth, and cried mightily,
saying:
18 O God, Aaron hath told me that there is a God; and if there is a God, and if thou art God, wilt
thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee, and that I may
be raised from the dead, and be saved at the last day. And now when the king had said these
words, he was struck as if he were dead." (Alma 22:18–15)

1. The person came to a full realization of their fallen standing before God (​“what shall I do
that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast…”​)
2. They repented, relying upon the mercy of Christ (​“I will give away all my sins to know thee,
and that I may be raised from the dead, and be saved at the last day.”​)
3. They experienced the mighty change that true repentance brings (​when the King regained
consciousness he had seen Christ and went on to convert his whole household and open
his lands to missionary work​)

Elder D. Todd Christofferson spoke in the October 2017 Saturday morning session of a friend's
experience that was strikingly similar to the ones recorded in scripture above. (All the “...” below
are Elder Christofferson’s edits, not mine.) He said:

"Not long ago, a friend recounted to me an experience he had while serving as a mission
president. He had undergone a surgery that required several weeks of recuperation. During his
recovery, he devoted time to searching the scriptures. One afternoon as he pondered the
Savior's words in the 27th chapter of 3 Nephi, he drifted off to sleep. He subsequently related:

"I fell into a dream in which I was given a vivid, panoramic view of my life. I was shown my sins,
poor choices, the times ... I had treated people with impatience, plus the omissions of good
things I should have said or done. ... [A] comprehensive ... [review of] my life was shown to me
in just a few minutes, but it seemed much longer. I awoke, startled, and ... instantly dropped to
my knees beside the bed and began to pray, to plead for forgiveness, pouring out the feelings of
my heart like I had never done previously.

"Prior to the dream, I didn't know that I [had] such great need to repent. My faults and
weaknesses suddenly became so plainly clear to me that the gap between the person I was and
the holiness and goodness of God seemed [like] millions of miles. In my prayer that late
afternoon, I expressed my deepest gratitude to Heavenly Father and to the Savior with my
whole heart for what They had done for me and for the relationships I treasured with my wife
and children. While on my knees I also felt God's love and mercy that was so palpable, despite
my feeling so unworthy. ...

"I can say I haven't been the same since that day. ... My heart changed. ... What followed is that
I developed more empathy toward others, with a greater capacity to love, coupled with a sense
of urgency to preach the gospel. ... I could relate to the messages of faith, hope, and the gift of
repentance found in the Book of Mormon [as] never before.""
(“The Living Bread Which Came Down from Heaven” D. Todd Christofferson, October 2017
General Conference)

Here is how this Mission President's experience applies to the pattern of true repentance:

1. The person came to a full realization of their fallen standing before God (​“My faults and
weaknesses suddenly became so plainly clear to me that the gap between the person I
was and the holiness and goodness of God seemed [like] millions of miles.”​)
2. They repented, relying upon the mercy of Christ (​“I awoke, startled, and ... instantly
dropped to my knees beside the bed and began to pray, to plead for forgiveness, pouring
out the feelings of my heart like I had never done previously.”​)
3. They experienced the mighty change that true repentance brings (​"I can say I haven't been
the same since that day. ... My heart changed.”​)

This is the pattern the scriptures provide us so we too might experience the mighty change of
being born again.

“True repentance”
As you’ve been reading a valid point may have arisen in your mind: “I’ve continually asked God
for forgiveness for my sins and have tried to make amends to others I’ve wronged. ​Haven’t I
repented of all my sins already?​”

The simple answer is: if you haven’t experienced something similar to what has been described
in the scriptures (mighty change of heart, no more desire to do evil but to do good continually,
etc…) then you haven’t repented. Or, more accurately, you haven’t repented the way the people
in the scriptures have.

You’ve probably noticed that the repentance which precedes being born again doesn’t follow
“the 5 R’s of repentance” as taught in Sunday School. To differentiate it we’ll call it “true
repentance”. The phrase “true repentance” comes from both ancient and modern prophets (see
4 Nephi 1:1, Moroni 6:2, D&C 20:37, “Principles of True Repentance” Ezra Taft Benson).

You'll find that this phrase is accurate because, once you experience it, you'll feel for the first
time that you've truly repented. Like President Joseph F. Smith described “I felt in my soul that if
I had sinned … it had been forgiven me; that I was indeed cleansed from sin.”

It is a wonderful, powerful, and unmistakable feeling. Here’s how it works...

The Gap between us and God

The key to true repentance is a proper realization of our standing before God. We need to
come to understand just how desperate our situation is--just how fallen we are and how
big a gap separates us from God. And once we fully realize our truly great need for
Christ's atonement, the desire to repent and cry to Christ for mercy comes quite
naturally.

The gap between us, as fallen human beings, and goodness and holiness of God is truly like
"millions of miles". It is an insurmountable distance. There is no way, even given a thousand
lifetimes, that we would be able to bridge that gap on our own. No matter how hard we try, or
how good we are, or how well we keep the commandments--by virtue of the fact that we have
sinned in the slightest, we have disqualified ourselves from being able enjoy the presence of
God.

Notice something very important: a majority of the examples of true repentance in the
scriptures involved some very bad people!​ Alma the Younger was described as "a wicked
and idolatrous man" (Mosiah 27:8) before he repented. King Lamoni murdered many of his
servants simply for not keeping his sheep safe. (Alma 17:28) King Lamoni's father wanted to kill
Ammon on sight. (Alma 20:19-20) These are not good people! How is it that they could possibly
qualify for such miraculous experiences and choice blessings? What made them so special??
The whole point is this: they weren’t special, and they DIDN'T qualify! Why? Because nobody
does! ​You can't qualify yourself for the atonement! You can't earn this mighty change of
heart through your own merits. You cannot be born again through any worthiness of
your own.

Look at it this way: on the trip of millions of miles it makes no difference if, by trying really hard
to be a good person, you've traveled 20 miles farther than someone else. Just like them, you
still have millions of miles to go!

We are ALL in the same impossible situation. The kindest most loving person on the planet, and
the most evil and vile of all sinners--neither of them can make this trip on their own merits.

Elder Holland uses this parable to help explain what we're up against:

"Let me use one of the Savior's parables to say this in a little different way. A servant was in
debt to his king for the amount of 10,000 talents. Hearing the servant's plea for patience and
mercy, "the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and ... forgave ... the debt." But
then that same servant would not forgive a fellow servant who owed him 100 pence. On hearing
this, the king lamented to the one he had forgiven, "Shouldest not thou also have had
compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?"

There is some difference of opinion among scholars regarding the monetary values mentioned
here--and forgive the U.S. monetary reference--but to make the math easy, if the smaller,
unforgiven 100-pence debt were, say, $100 in current times, then the 10,000-talent debt so
freely forgiven would have approached $1 billion--or more!

As a personal debt, that is an astronomical number--totally beyond our comprehension.

(Nobody can shop that much!) Well, ​for the purposes of this parable, it is supposed to be
incomprehensible; it is supposed to be beyond our ability to grasp, to say nothing of
beyond our ability to repay. That is because this isn't a story about two servants arguing
in the New Testament. It is a story about us, the fallen human family--mortal debtors,
transgressors, and prisoners all. Every one of us is a debtor, and the verdict was
imprisonment for every one of us.​" ("Be Ye Therefore Perfect--Eventually" Jeffrey R. Holland,
October 2017 General Conference)

We are, each of us, in debt far beyond what we can ever pay. It would be far easier to pay a
billion-dollar debt than to somehow perfect ourselves and then go back and atone for our own
sins to become spotless and enter the kingdom of heaven. Because the fact is it's not even
possible for us to perfect ourselves once we've sinned even in the least degree. It's an
impossible journey. It can't be done. On our own, we can never be saved.
As Elder Holland said "It is a story about us, the fallen human family--mortal debtors,
transgressors, and prisoners all. ​Every one of us is a debtor, and the verdict was
imprisonment for every one of us​."

King Benjamin aptly described the difference between ourselves and God like this:

"I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God,
and ​your own nothingness​, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, ​unworthy
creatures​..." and "the knowledge of the goodness of God at this time has awakened you to ​a
sense of your nothingness, and your worthless and fallen state​..." (Mosiah 4:11, 5) These
words may sound harsh, but they were key to helping King Benjamin's people come to a true
understanding of their fallen situation. Once his people truly understood, it drove them to repent.

We need to stop and dwell on our awful situation, and pray to God to help us understand and
feel it, because it is the key to true repentance. We are each in this predicament. We are each
hopelessly in debt. We are each millions of miles away from where God and Christ are. We are
each trapped by our sins, and we will never be clean from them on our own efforts. ​The only
thing that can pardon our debt and bridge that gap is Christ's mercy and the power of his
atonement.​ We merit nothing of ourselves. And that is why anyone, regardless of how good or
evil they've been to this point in their lives, can repent and be changed. It really doesn't matter if
you're a member of the church striving daily to keep the commandments or a murderous
Lamanite monarch: there is no difference in the eyes of God--we are all in the same boat. "All
have sinned, and come short of the glory of God". (Romans 3:23) But the prophets have made it
abundantly clear that if we follow this pattern set in the scriptures, we can each receive a
remission of our sins and be changed no matter our past mistakes.

In fact, the Lord set things up this way intentionally so we would ​have​ to rely on him…

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that
they may be humble; and ​my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before
me​; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, ​then will I make weak
things become strong unto them​." (Ether 12:27)

Who is it that makes weak things strong? It's not us, it's him. He makes weak things strong. We
cannot overcome sin through our own strength or merit, no matter how hard we try. We are not
meant to. Our efforts to change our own nature are well-meaning, but cannot succeed.

It is through Christ, and Christ alone, that we are meant to overcome sin and become perfect
like him. "...there is no other way or means whereby man can be saved, only in and through
Christ." (Alma 38:9)

It's been said "God helps those who help themselves", but the scriptures show us it's really the
opposite: God helps those who realize they are helpless without him.
Pray for understanding

If you can’t feel the distance that your sins have put between you and God, pray to him
that he will help you truly feel that separation.​ Study the scriptures and pray to feel what
those people in the scriptures felt that drove them to sincerely and fully repent. Be humble, and
be persistent. ​It may take time and effort for the Lord to bring you to this point, but he will
show you how to yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit and put off your natural man
(Mosiah 3:19).

Keep at it. This is important. Your spiritual life depends on it. It is coming to understand and
deeply feel this gulf of misery that separates us from God, and our dire need for the atonement
of Christ, that will be the catalyst to bring us to true repentance.

Conclusion

Being born again is an amazing experience. It will change you into a person who naturally
hungers and thirsts after righteousness and will help you immensely in overcoming the wiles
and snares of the devil. I can completely identify with Ammon when he said:

“Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power,
and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you,
I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.” (Alma 26:16)

May you, my brother or sister in the gospel, experience the same.