10 Trucs Pratiques Strelecky

Ten Tips for Living the Life of
Your Dreams
by John P. Strelecky- Best-selling Author of The Why Café
The first book I wrote is called earlier in life, things that I reflect
The Why Café – also known as The on often and that continually give
Why Are You Here Café. It is a me a boost and help me on my
fiction story about a man who journey to achieve the life of my
wanders into an all night café and dreams.
is surprised to find three questions My hope is that in sharing those
on the menu. Why Are You Here? things with you, they will in some
Do You Fear Death? Are You way assist you on your journey to
Fulfilled? live the life of your dreams.
Shortly after the book came out I So with that as a prelude, I
was asked to give an inspirational present to you, Ten Tips for Living
speech, and so I came up with the the Life of Your Dreams.
following ten tips.
In response to requests from 1. Know your Purpose For
people who had heard the speech, I
Existing (PFE), or at least be
created this article, which gives the
text of the ten tips. looking
I am not so arrogant now, nor Most lists start from the bottom
was I when I wrote the speech, to and work their way up so that the
think that I have the answer to most impactful one is at the end.
how anyone except for me should You can’t do that with this list,
live their life. I do know though, because the first one is too
that there are certain things I’ve important. All else flows from it.
learned that help me think about Your Purpose For Existing is
life in a different way. There are exactly what it says. It is the
things that I wish I had learned reason you exist, the reason you
are alive. It is the answer to the
1
Copyright 2003- John P. Strelecky International best-selling author of

The Why Café, Life Safari,
The Big Five for Life – Leadership’s Greatest Secret
www.bigfiveforlife.com jstrelecky@bigfiveforlife.com
question I asked you at the start of Someone once told me a great
this article. Why Are You Here? quote about trying something new.
Your PFE is like your own He said he had been battling with
personal compass for life. Should fear for a long time until one day
you go to New York City and his friend told him, “Listen,
become a commodities trader? Go realistically what’s the worst that
back to your PFE. Why are you could happen.” I think that is
here? Should you travel the world great comment to remember. We
as a peace corp. volunteer? Go are often paralyzed into non-action
back to your PFE. Why are you by the concern that something
here? Should you stay in a drastic might happen. But the
relationship you’ve been reality is that almost any decision
questioning? Go back to your PFE. we make or action we take can be
Why are you here? changed if we don’t like the
In addition to taking a great deal outcome.
of the stress out of decision We can almost always go back to
making, it also takes a lot of the whatever it was we were doing
anxiety out of everyday life. You before we tried something new.
don’t have to justify to yourself or Furthermore, what are the odds
anyone else why you do what you that the “worst thing” will happen?
do. You know the answer. You It probably isn’t likely at all, and
meet someone and they say, “Hi, yet that remote chance keeps us
what do you do?” You respond, from doing the things we want to
“Oh, I teach yoga,” or “I’m an do.
insurance salesperson,” or “I’m a I’ll share with you a personal
chiropractor.” “Interesting,” they story. Fear is something I used to
say, “what made you go into that have an ongoing battle with. I
line of work. “Well, it helps fulfill feared failure, and I feared success.
my Purpose For Existing,” you Now that puts you in a pretty
respond. Wow! That is a powerful interesting predicament. You don’t
statement. You do what you do try things that you aren’t totally
because it helps you fulfill the sure you will succeed at, and the
exact reason you exist. It doesn’t things you do try, you stop just
get much simpler, or more powerful before you are going to be
than that. fantastically successful. When you
Know your Purpose For Existing let something like that control your
(PFE) or at least be looking. life, you end up missing out on
most of the things you want to do.
2. Fear is a terrible thing, My major “Aha” moment which
don’t let it control your life. enabled me to get past my fears,
came one day when I suddenly
2

realized that there are very few I thought to myself, if they could do
things that have not already been it so can I.
done by at least one, and probably It is likely that whatever you are
thousands of people. Certainly trying to accomplish in life,
everything I was attempting, other someone, at some point in history,
people had already tried and at some spot in the world, did it,
succeeded at. Well heck, I thought. and proved it could be done. If
If they could do it, so can I. they could do it, so can you.
In 2002 my wife and I Don’t let fear control your life.
backpacked around the world.
Using a combination of bus, train, 3. Either we can live as a
horse, plane, car, elephant, bicycle, speck of meaningless exis-
scooter, pick-up truck, camel and
tence, or we can live a life of
an assortment of other transport
including our own two feet, we meaning
covered over 70,000 miles, which is Have you ever been somewhere
almost three times the circum- on a very clear night when you
ference of the earth. could get a great look at the stars?
This was something that I had You were in a place nice and dark
wanted to do since 1997. When without any local lights distracting
you don’t know anything about your eyes. How many stars do you
embarking on such a journey it think you could see with your
seems like a very daunting task. naked eye when you looked across
How will I find places to stay in the whole sky? It seemed like
other countries? What happens millions I bet. The sky seemed just
when I can’t communicate with packed with stars. Well, the
anyone because we don’t speak the reality is that the immense
same language? What should I do quantity of stars you see on a
if I get sick, or if I’m attacked by totally clear night when there is no
muggers? How can I be sure the outside light is actually about
plane won’t crash? 3,000.
In the past, these concerns and To put that number in
thousands of others that I would perspective, keep in mind that in
have come up with, would have our galaxy alone, there are 100
been more than enough to keep me billion stars. 100 BILLION
from going. But the reality is that STARS!!! Now, our star, which is
tens of thousands of other people the sun, has 9 planets and 54
have traveled the world. They are moons that rotate around it. Using
people just like me, and they our star as a proxy, that means
figured out a way to get around. So there are 6.3 TRILLION stars,
planets, and moons floating around
3

in our galaxy. So what you see on I’ve had people say to me, “But
a perfectly clear night, that what if you are wrong?” “What if I
immense amount of stars and think I have a PFE, and I live my
space, is around .00000005% of life like I do, but I really am just a
everything in our galaxy. Amazing speck of meaningless existence?”
isn’t it. Now consider this. That is My reply to that is always the
just our galaxy. Do you know how same. If we find what we think is
many galaxies there are? our very purpose for being alive,
Scientists estimate there are over our purpose for existing, and we
100 billion of them! live a life to fulfill it, then by
So here we are, living on a single default, we will have given
planet that is just one of the very meaning to our life. What has
large number you get when you meaning, can no longer be
multiply 6.3 trillion times 100 meaningless.
billion. That can make you feel
pretty small, especially when you 4. Realize something is
consider that each of us is just one fulfilling because we decide it
of almost 6.3 billion people that
is fulfilling, not because
live on this planet.
So with all that as perspective, someone else tells us it is.
how important are our individual In 1997 I graduated from
lives in comparison to the entire Northwestern University’s Kellogg
universe? It is pretty easy to see Graduate School of Management.
how someone could think that they It was ranked #1 in the business
are just a speck of meaningless school rankings when I went there,
existence. Certainly we are all just and is ranked #1 now. The school
specks in the big picture. But is known for marketing, and that
suppose we aren’t meaningless. was one of my focuses. When I left
Suppose there is a specific purpose Kellogg I spent five years helping
that each of us is here, a reason companies figure out ways to make
that we exist right now that goes more money by selling more of
beyond just sperm met egg and their products and services.
nine months later out popped a Why am I telling you this? Is
little you or me. this simply shameless self
I believe there is a reason. I promotion? No, actually I save the
believe we each have a specific shameless self promotion for my
Purpose For Existing, or PFE as I book now. I’m telling you this
like to refer to it. My suggestions because I see a disturbing trend in
is, find that purpose. Fulfill that this country and I want you to
purpose. know that I’m not some crackpot,
but that I actually have a basis
4

upon which to make the following the advertisement will stimulate
statement. There are a lot of long term brand loyalty for a
people out there trying to get you particular product.
to buy things, and they will tell you Among the companies looking
almost anything to get you to do it. into using this are General Motors,
Do you know how much money Ford of Europe, and the one that I
was spent on advertising in the find particularly interesting is
United States last year? The Camelot, the United Kingdom’s
answer is a staggering $124 billion national lottery operator.
dollars. That’s right, $124 billion Can’t you just see that?
dollars. The goal of those Someone is walking down the
expenditures is to get you and me street, they pass a billboard, and
to buy things, and advertisers are suddenly have this tremendous,
getting more and more savvy about compelling, yet unexplainable urge
how to do it. to buy lottery tickets.
If you haven’t read it, see if you Are we to that point yet? No, I
can track down the September don’t think so. Will we get to that
2003 edition of Forbes magazine. point? I don’t know. The point is,
Keep in mind, this is Forbes, a marketers and marketing tech-
respected magazine with a focus on nology are, and will continue to,
top business professionals. The make it harder and harder to sift
title of the article that is profiled through all the noise so that we
on the cover is “In search of the buy can form our own perspective on
button”. The article explains how things.
marketers are using brain response Now that doesn’t mean we
measurement technology originally should refuse to go out and buy
developed for the medical things, and it doesn’t mean we
profession, to create advertise- should all go live in log cabins
ments that are more enticing to somewhere. As a matter of fact,
customers. purchasing things can be a
For example, they have learned fascinating part of the life
that memory and emotion are experience.
significant factors in whether or The challenge is to realize
not a customer has brand loyalty to something is fulfilling not because
a product. So they review brain someone tells us it is, but because
responses of test subjects who are we individually determine it is
shown advertisements, to see if a fulfilling. Does love really come in
particular advertisement invokes a the form of diamond earrings,
reaction from the emotion center or which say “You love her and would
memory center of the test subject’s marry her all over again”? Does
brain. That way they can tell if self worth and empowerment truly
5

lie in owning a particular But we can. We have the financial
automobile? I personally don’t benefit of a strong currency
think so in either case, but don’t compared to the majority of the
listen to me anymore than you world.
would listen to the advertisement. In South Africa, almost 2/3rds of
You decide. the population lives a life of
Realize something is fulfilling poverty. The people live in
because we determine it is townships that often consist of
fulfilling, not because someone else small shacks which lack the most
tells us it is. basic functions like running water
and heat. Do you know why?
5. Be thankful for and Those people were born into a
leverage the advantages that society where the color of their skin
dictated whether they had any
come from living in this
freedoms.
country South Africa is now a
We have some amazing democracy, and has been for the
opportunities at our fingertips last ten years, and the situation
simply because we live in this there is improving every day. But
country. Now, I don’t know about you can’t just turn a switch and
you, but all I did to get these suddenly 30 million people have
opportunities was pop out of the the education, training, and work
womb in what turned out to be a experience to make a decent living.
very fortuitous spot. Even if you could, there isn’t an
Do you know how much the economy in place to support a more
average college graduate in educated workforce of that
Myanmar (formerly Burma) magnitude.
makes? They make 10,000 Kat per But we already have those
month. That is about $12.00 U.S. opportunities. In this country we
How about the average college can get an education, and we can
graduate in China? How much do go out and get a decent paying job.
you think they make per month? We think unemployment is really
That number is 1500 Yuen, which getting bad when it hits 6%. In
is just under $200.00 U.S. places in South Africa it is over
Now salaries of that magnitude 40%.
are enough for those people to As a country we have our fair
function in their country’s share of problems. When you get
respective economies. In all outside the borders and travel to
likelihood though, those people will other places, you see things that
never be able to travel and see the make the U.S. look like paradise.
world. They just can’t afford it. We have freedom. We can say
6

what we want, buy what we want, home, something? How about this.
become what we want, travel Do you wake up each weekday and
where we want, and for the most stretch for at least 20 minutes?
part the only thing we did to get all Ok, different question. What is
this, is pop out of the womb in the more important to you, health or
right geographical area. We money? Would you permanently
shouldn’t take it for granted. trade the ability to walk up a flight
Instead, we should appreciate of stairs in exchange for money?
the opportunity and leverage it to Would you permanently trade the
live the life of our dreams. ability to take a bike ride along the
Be thankful for, and leverage the beach, garden, lift up a grandchild,
advantages that come from living play sports, or go fishing in
in this country. exchange for money?
Then be careful about how you
6. Look at the little picture, spend your time each day, because
but with a big perspective making the decision to head off to
People often say, look at the big work 20 minutes early, or spending
picture. I say look at the little an extra 20 minutes at work,
picture, but with a big perspective. instead of taking 20 minutes per
Do you know what life is? Life is day to stretch, is a slow version of
actually a day multiplied by about trading those abilities.
28,500. Sometimes it is less, For a number of years I was the
hopefully more, but usually around poster child for making that trade.
28,500. The easiest way to make I would have the best of intentions,
sure we have a life we enjoy is to but when the alarm would go off,
make sure that each day we do I’d hit the snooze alarm three times
something we enjoy. I’m sure this and then finally roll out of bed with
sounds simple to you. It took me just enough time to shower, shave,
decades to figure this out. dress in a suit, and hit the road.
Doing something you enjoy each I had it timed down to the
day is an example of looking at the minute. As long as I got up 28
little picture. But keep in mind the minutes before I had to leave, I was
big perspective, which is what is good to go. Then I would work long
your PFE? What is it that you hours at a client, grab a late
want out of life? Why are you dinner, and arrive back home or to
here? a hotel room so tired that I would
Here is an example of little just go to bed.
picture and big perspective. Do But the reality is that people
you do some form of work for at change jobs an average of every
least 20 minutes each weekday? three years now. Our bodies
Do you go to a job, work from however, we keep for our whole
7

life. Which one deserves the extra emergency room. I started to have
twenty minutes per day? near life experiences.
This concept isn’t just about Near life experiences are the
exercising either. The same goes times when you are doing exactly
for spending time with our spouse, what you want. You are enjoying
friends, significant other, kids, life, you are having the exact
grandchildren, or even complete experience you want out of life, and
strangers if that is what brings us because of that you feel truly
joy. fulfilled with the life experience.
We have a propensity as a Near life experiences (NLE’s) can
society to spend all kinds of time on come from something as simple as
other things, and when we are good hugging your significant other or
and tired and barely have the as complex as achieving a
energy to say hello, then we go particularly difficult goal you set
interact with those who mean the for yourself. They come when you
most to us, or spend time on are fulfilling your PFE.
ourselves. This is the fast track to When you are having a near life
finding yourself feeling like a experience, you are absolutely and
complete stranger with the people completely happy. It is the most
who mean the most to you, and amazing feeling in the world.
yourself. Find those moments for yourself
Look at the little picture, but and figure out how to get more of
from a big perspective. them into your life every day.
Experience so many of them that
7. Seek out near life you get to the point where you
experiences insist on having a life full of them,
At the age of 28 I began to have a life where you fulfill your PFE.
near life experiences. Have you Have them as soon as possible,
heard the term near death because the fantastic thing about
experience? That is when people experiences, especially near life
survive a heart attack, or almost experiences, is that the sooner in
get hit by a car and they get this your life you have them, the longer
tremendous sense of lucidness you have to reap the benefits.
about how short life is and how What you learn at 20, 35, or 50 can
they should give some thought to be applied for a lot more time and
how they really want to live it to a lot more situations than what
before they don’t have a life to live. you learn at 85. Even better, the
Well at 28 I started to have experiences build upon each other.
those revelations without the Once the insights start coming,
potential for a trip to the they create this fantastic

foundation of knowledge upon said, “Well what would you do if
which everything else rests. your life depended on it?” It really
Seek out things that are exactly puts things in a different
what you want to do. Seek out perspective doesn’t it? Now all of a
near life experiences sudden it is more important. MY
LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!!!
8. Choose your own metric of Well, in reality, our life depends
success in life on the decisions we make every
When you have spent time in day. Whether or not we achieve
other countries, and then you come and experience what we want out
back to the U.S., you realize just of life is entirely dependent on our
how strongly our culture equates daily decisions.
success with money. How much do Have you ever heard the term
you make? What kind of car do you “The Big Five”? The big five is
drive? How big is your house? something that you hear all the
These are all money based metrics. time when you are on safari in
If we choose that as our metric, Africa. It stands for rhino,
that’s fine, just so long as we make elephant, buffalo, leopard, and lion.
sure that we chose it. And when People are always asking, “Have
we are deciding what our metric you seen the big five? How many
will be, we should keep in mind of the big five did you see? Where
that money is not the only one. were the big five?”…
The amount of time we spend each I think we should adopt this
day doing what we want, our term for our lives. The Big Five for
degree of fulfillment with life, how Life will be the five things we
happy we are, how much love is in absolutely want to do, see, or
our life, and many others, are also experience in our life. The things
metrics for success in life. that on our deathbeds, we will look
Evaluate them closely because back on and go, yeah, I did my Big
the metrics we choose become the Five for Life.
driving force for our actions. Wouldn’t that be a great
Choose your own metric of conversation starter? “Hi, I’m
success. John, and you are?...” “Nice to
meet you. So, what’s on your Big
Five for Life list and how can I help
9. Act like your life depends
you fulfill them?”
on your decisions, because it Although they can be, items on
does the Big Five for Life list don’t have
Have you ever been in a to be things that are one time
discussion where you were events. For example, number one
debating what to do, and someone on my list is to have a lifelong
9

loving relationship with my wife. they define success. For more
It is something with a non-defined details visit:
end date. As long as I am here, it www.whycafe.com/thebigfiveforlife.
is on the list. htm)
The reason I think this would be
so fantastic is because we often 10. Choose to work on things
forget to act like our life depends you are passionate about and
on our decisions. We get into a
you will always be passionate
pattern and pretty soon we have all
these reasons why we can’t go do about what you are working
the things we want. on
That $124 Billion of advertising Here is a statistic you may find
out there often doesn’t help. There shocking. It shocked me. In an
are all kinds of people trying to average week, between Monday
scare or convince us to live life a and Friday, the average person will
particular way. Having our Big spend over 70% of their awake life
Five for Life would really focus us either at work, getting to work, or
on the fact that our ability to live on work related activities at home.
the life we dream of, our ability to Almost three fourths of our
fulfill our big five, depends on our awake life during the week is spent
daily decisions. We need to be on work! Now that is something to
conscious of them, and to make keep in mind when we are making
sure we don’t forget that we are in decisions about what type of work
control of them. we want to do. “I am choosing to
That really becomes impactful give half of my life to the pursuit of
when put in the context that life is whatever this job is.”
just a compilation of 28,500 days. If you are going to spend 70% of
It isn’t infinite. When the days are your awake life on work related
no more, we no longer have the items each week, you might as well
chance to fulfill the big five. choose to work on something you
Make your daily decisions as if are passionate about. I know this
your life depends on it, because it can be challenging. We live in this
does. interesting world where people
value experience at something over
(Note: In my CD series called The much more important skills like
Big Five for Life, I go into great aptitude, general intelligence, drive
detail about my Big Five for Life and many more.
technique, and how anyone can use The job someone picks when
it to accelerate their efforts toward they graduate college, which after
success in their lives – however extensive research I have learned
is primarily chosen based on the
10

degree to which it can help pay off you cannot accomplish the feat of
student loans and support beer climbing it.
consumption, suddenly becomes There have been numerous men
their career guidepost for life. and women that have proven this
Nonetheless, think of it this way. to the nth degree. Orville and
If there is something else that you Wilbur Wright proved that people
have always wanted to do, but lack can fly. Sandra Day O’Connor
experience in, every day you don’t became the first woman Supreme
go do it is a day less of experience Court justice in the history of this
you will have. You might as well country. Neil Armstrong stepped
get started right away. on the moon. The individual who
Choose to work on things you are most personifies this for me is
passionate about and you will Mahatma Gandhi.
always be passionate about what In a non-violent fashion, he
you are working on. personally took on one of the most
powerful empires in the world.
They experts say a good writer What do you think the Las Vegas
always gives readers more than odds on that confrontation would
they expect, yet leaves them have been? I don’t think too many
wanting more. To that end, here is people would have bet on Gandhi.
a bonus #11. You’ll have to wait But he refused to let anyone tell
for the next article for number #12. him that he couldn’t accomplish his
goal, and eventually, he won.
11. Never let anyone else The courage and conviction of a
determine what you can or single man was the catalyst that
brought an end to England’s
cannot accomplish
colonial rule of India and the
If it hasn’t happened already, I
eventual end of England’s colonial
have no doubt that at some point in
rule around the world. He freed an
your life someone will inform you
entire nation of people and did it
that you probably do not have the
without violence.
ability to accomplish something
Now, I don’t know what you’ve
that you believe you can do. This is
got in store for your life in terms of
such a tremendous travesty of
what you want to do, but I
reality.
personally don’t plan on taking on
No one but you truly knows what
anything nearly that daunting. He
you can accomplish. You may
wouldn’t let anyone else determine
decide a particular mountain is too
what he could or could not
high, or that it is the wrong
accomplish and neither should you
mountain for you to climb, but
or I.
never let someone else tell you that
11

Toward the end of my book, The “The Why Cafe”, Life Safari, and
Why Café, Mike, who is the owner The Big Five for Life –
of the café, makes the comment Leadership’s Greatest Secret. In
that “life is a great story, it’s just 2007, he was honored alongside
that some people don’t realize that Oprah Winfrey, Wayne Dyer,
they are the author and they can Deepak Chopra, and Dr. Stephen
write it any way they want.” From Covey, as one of the 100 Top Minds
the bottom of my heart, I wish you in the field of Leadership and
all the success in the world at Personal Development. John can
writing, and living, the life that be reached through his website at
you want- the life of your dreams. www.bigfiveforlife.com, or at
------------------------------------------------- jstrelecky@bigfiveforlife.com.
John P. Strelecky is the .
international best selling author of
12


10 Trucs Pratiques Strelecky

Hochgeladen von

Dokumentinformationen

Copyright

Verfügbare Formate

Dieses Dokument teilen

Dokument teilen oder einbetten

Freigabeoptionen

Stufen Sie dieses Dokument als nützlich ein?

Sind diese Inhalte unangemessen?

Copyright:

Verfügbare Formate

10 Trucs Pratiques Strelecky

Hochgeladen von

Copyright:

Verfügbare Formate

Ten Tips for Living the Life of

Copyright 2003- John P. Strelecky International best-selling author of

Copyright 2003- John P. Strelecky International best-selling author of

Copyright 2003- John P. Strelecky International best-selling author of

Copyright 2003- John P. Strelecky International best-selling author of

Copyright 2003- John P. Strelecky International best-selling author of

Copyright 2003- John P. Strelecky International best-selling author of

Copyright 2003- John P. Strelecky International best-selling author of

Copyright 2003- John P. Strelecky International best-selling author of

Copyright 2003- John P. Strelecky International best-selling author of

Copyright 2003- John P. Strelecky International best-selling author of

Copyright 2003- John P. Strelecky International best-selling author of

Copyright 2003- John P. Strelecky International best-selling author of

Das könnte Ihnen auch gefallen