10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation

Celeste Headlee
TED © 2015
[@] getab.li/26600
Video:

Rating Take-Aways

9
10 Applicability • Increased polarization coupled with the demise of interpersonal skills due to digital
communication has compromised the art of conversation.
7 Innovation
10 Style • To improve your skills, give your fellow conversationalists your undivided attention,
and don’t use the dialogue as an opportunity to preach your beliefs.

• Ask open-ended questions that elicit more than just a yes or no response. Let the
  conversation unfold organically rather than preplanning the direction of the dialogue.
Focus • Don’t feign expertise in a subject area. Empathize with those with whom you speak
without attempting to relate their experiences to yours. Avoid repeating yourself.
Leadership & Management
Strategy • Don’t get bogged down in irrelevant minutiae. Be concise, and listen attentively with an
Sales & Marketing
open heart and mind.
Finance
Human Resources
IT, Production & Logistics
Career & Self-Development
Small Business
Economics & Politics
Industries
Global Business  
In collaboration with
Concepts & Trends

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Recommendation
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As a seasoned NPR reporter and talk show host, Celeste Headlee meets people from all walks of life each
day. Oftentimes, she doesn’t agree with their viewpoints, but this doesn’t hold her back from engaging in great
conversations. With charm and humor, Headlee shares her top 10 tips to help you enjoy more meaningful exchanges.
getAbstract recommends her astute, entertaining talk to anyone who wants to master the art of conversation.
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Summary
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A Pew Research study of 10,000 American adults found that people are more polarized
today than ever before. As a result, conversations often turn into disputes, whereby
participants, firmly entrenched in their views, are unwilling to listen or to consider other
“It used to be that in
order to have a polite perspectives. Mobile technology – in particular, texting and on-screen communications –
conversation, we just also has contributed to the demise of interpersonal conversational skills. Nevertheless, it is
had to follow the advice
of Henry Higgins in
possible to have productive face-to-face dialogues with people who see the world differently
My Fair Lady: ‘Stick to than you do. The following 10 tips will help you become a better conversationalist:
the weather and your
health.’ But these days,
with climate change 1. “Don’t multitask ” – When talking with someone, give them your undivided attention.
and antivaxxing, those Be present in the moment.
subjects aren’t safe
either.” 2. “Don’t pontificate ” – A conversation is give-and-take; it’s not a lecture or a
“promotional opportunity.” Be open to new viewpoints and opinions.
3. “Use open-ended questions ” – This interviewing technique encourages your
conversational partners to consider and elaborate on their thoughts and feelings.
4. “Go with the flow ” – Follow the conversation and respond organically instead of
focusing on being clever or thinking about what to say next.
“A conversation 5. “If you don’t know, say that you don’t know ” – Be wary of expounding on a topic
requires a balance
between talking as though you are an expert if you aren’t.
and listening, and 6. “Don’t equate your experience with theirs ” – Don’t use other people’s grief
somewhere along
the way, we lost that or misfortune as opportunities to unburden yourself or brag about your resilience.
balance.” Empathize rather than trying to commandeer the moment.
7. “Try not to repeat yourself ” – Rehashing your ideas is boring and patronizing.
8. “Stay out of the weeds ” – Details you find interesting or necessary may simply bog
down the conversation and bore the listener.
9. “Listen ” – If you’re not listening, you’re not engaging in a conversation. “You’re just
“You need to enter
two people shouting out barely related sentences in the same place.”
every conversation 10.“Be brief ” – When you talk for too long or monopolize the conversation, you lose
assuming that you have other people’s attention.
something to learn.”

When you’re interested in another person, you’ll want to hear what he or she has to say.
Every person is unique and remarkable. If you participate in real, genuine conversations by
speaking from the heart and listening with an open mind, others will surely amaze you.
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About the Speaker
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Broadcaster Celeste Headlee hosts On Second Thought, a talk show on Georgia Public Broadcasting.

10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation                                                                                                                                                 getAbstract © 2019 2 of 2

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