Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
Jo Ann Iantosca
The aim of this study was to examine the lived experiences of adult children who have
experienced parental divorce in childhood. Parental divorce can impact the child’s overall well
being in a variety of ways. Researchers looked into the impact of divorce on the child, parent-
child relationships, children’s perspectives and support and resilience throughout and post
divorce. Semi-structured interviews were conducted with five consenting participants that
effective co-parenting plan in connection with positive behaviour outcomes of the children. This
study also discusses how meaningful relationships with people close to the child were affected
post- divorce. Furthermore, the current study highlights the significance of communication for
the child throughout the divorce process. Recommendations for future research and practitioners
are also mentioned as findings may help educate people on the lived experiences of children who
Key words: divorce; children; academic performance; relationships; mental health; support
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Statement of Contributors
From the development of the research project to the creation of the literature review, the
researchers worked together to form this study. Researchers both completed the Research Ethics
Board (REB) application then recruited and conducted interviews with participants. Information
was then coded, analyzed and findings were developed. Both researchers contributed equally
Acknowledgements
This study acknowledges that this research would not have possible without contributions from a
variety of supporters. Researchers would like to show gratitude to the participants who took time
to participate in the interview process. We would like to recognize the Seneca College Research
Ethics Board for their approval of this study, as well as the support received from the professors
in the Honours Bachelor of Child Development Degree. Researchers would like to give special
thanks to our co-investigator and research supervisor Jo Ann Iantosca for all the time and efforts
dedicated to the completion of this study. Jo Ann Iantosca should be acknowledged for her
Table of Contents
CHAPTER 1: Introduction……………………………………...………………………………...9
Literature Review……………………………………………………………….…..……10
Parent-Child Relationships………………………………………………………13
Conclusion ……………………………………………...……………………….20
CHAPTER 2: Methodology..…………………………………...……….…………………...…..22
Philosophical assumptions…………………………………………………………..…...22
Reflexivity ………………………………………………………………………...……..23
Participants ……………………………………………………………………......……..24
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Data Collection……………………………………….……………………...…………..24
Theme: Roles…………………………………………………………………….28
Theme: Academics……………………………………………………………….31
Theme: Communication…………………………………………………….……37
Relationships………………………………………………………………..……...…… 44
Communication………………………………………………..…………….…..……… 45
Recommendations ………………………………………………………..…..…..…..… 47
Conclusion ………………………………………………………………………..……. 48
References………………………………………………………………………………………..49
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Appendix A: Recruitment Poster………………………..…………………………………....….52
List of Figures
Chapter 1
Introduction
Divorce is defined as, when legally married couples go to a court to officially end their
marriage (Department of Justice, 2015). According to the 2011 General Social Survey on
Families, approximately five million Canadians had separated or divorced within the last 20
years (Statistics Canada, 2015). When going through a divorce where children are involved, the
most important thing for parents to consider is what is best for the child (Department of Justice,
2015). The Federal Divorce Act enforces the idea that parents must do what is best for the child
and states that for the child’s best interest, it is important that the child is allowed to have as
much contact as possible with each parent (Department of Justice, 2015). When debating about
what is best for the child, the parents must make decisions on a variety of issues, such as where
the child is going to live, go to school, what religion they will practice in the home, among other
In this review, we will be discussing a variety of positive and negative factors divorce has
on the child, the child’s perception of the experience, and the parent’s relationship with the child
post-divorce. Finally, this research will outline how negative factors can be buffered through
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support, which in turn creates resiliency. This is a qualitative study that focuses on the detailed
and contextual data collected from the participants (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). The researchers
used a phenomenological lens throughout this study to look at the lived experiences of adult
children who experiences parental divorce. Participants were recruited through posters posted on
the walls around Magna Hall and Garriock Hall at Seneca King Campus and on Facebook. Both
researchers of this study conducted interviews with consenting participants which were
conducted either in person, over the phone or though email. Participants of this study included
adult children who experienced parental divorce as a child before the age of 16 and had
experienced parental divorce at least five years prior to interview. Through this research, we
have sought to learn about divorce and children, and specifically answer the following research
question; what are the lived experiences of adults exposed to parental divorce in childhood?
Literature Review
Divorce can impact a child’s overall well being in many ways and there are multiple
variables to consider. Studies have found that divorce can impact children’s academic
achievement, well-being and mental health. Research suggests that the effects of divorce on a
child are far reaching, and not caused by one single factor, but from a variety of sources during
Demographic Factors and Divorce. The parent’s education level plays a role in the
parent-child attachment post-divorce as fathers with more education are more aware of how
divorce can negatively impact a child (Kalmijn, 2015). Evidence also suggests that if the mothers
have a high education level, the divorce will have less of a negative impact on the child’s
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development, and there may even be a slight positive effect on the child, but if the mother has a
lower education level there can be a significant negative impact on the child (Mandemakers &
Kalmijn, 2014). Whereas, results imply that fathers with higher education can create a slightly
negative impact on the child’s psychological well-being if the mother has lower education
(Mandemakers & Kalmijn, 2014). Children with more highly educated fathers show less of a
decline in academics after experiencing parental divorce (Mandemakers & Kalmijn, 2014).
Children who came from poverty as defined in the Economic Deprivation Index (EDI) , had a
harder time dealing with the divorce, and children whose parents consistently read to them prior
to the divorce were not as negatively impacted academically after the divorce (Mandemakers &
Kalmijn, 2014). Mandemakers & Kalmijn (2014) suggest that children are able to better cope
with parental divorce if parents are able to uphold their material well-being and continue to
provide the same level of monetary involvement. Parental education seems to affect the child’s
Academic Achievement. A study conducted by Potter (2010), set out to examine the
correlation between divorce and the child’s psychosocial well‐being and academic achievement
after a parental divorce. Information gathered from the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study
Kindergarten Cohort (ECLS-K) found that divorce typically lessens a child’s psychosocial well-
being, which in turn leads the child to have poorer performance in academic achievement (Potter,
2010). A child’s approaches to learning (ATL) includes their ability to stay motivated and
engaged, as well as being able persist and ask questions when needed (Anthony et al., 2014).
Results from the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study — Kindergarten Class of 1998–99 (ECLS-
K) were examined in this study to look into the timing of parental divorce, observable classroom
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behaviours and how the child’s learning environment impacts how much they learn (Anthony et
al., 2014). Findings show that children who experienced parental divorce were slightly less
successful in math than children who are not in divorced families. Divorce showed a clear
connection to the child’s decline in their ATL post-divorce which may be due to the fact that
divorce can negatively influence a child’s motivation, which then can lead to a decline in
engagement (Anthony et al., 2014). In regard to gender, these results indicate that divorce
negatively impacted both boys and girls’ academic achievement, but this gap was most
noticeable in girl’s mathematics scores (Anthony et al., 2014). Age and timing of divorce also
had an impact on the child’s academic achievement as children who experienced parental
divorce at an older (9 to 11 years old), rather than a younger age, experienced further decline
(Anthony et al., 2014). There are other notable factors that relate to academic achievement such
Mental Health. In a study conducted by Uphold-Carrier and Utz (2012), they find
associations between a child’s mental health and family solidarity in relation to the timing of
divorce. Researchers found that children who experienced divorce at any age had higher risks for
depression than of those children of non-divorced families (Uphold-Carrier & Utz 2012). This
increased risk of depression may be due to their lack of ability to maintain higher quality family
camaraderie (Uphold-Carrier & Utz 2012). Researcher Short (2008) discuses that children of
divorce reported more aggressive behavior, greater substance use and depression than those
children who have not experienced parental divorce. These children also reported more stress
and less problem- focused coping (Short, 2008). The study on children’s mental health found that
the ways in which the divorce later affects the child, is related to the timing of which the divorce
occurred; not just the amount of time which a person has experienced after it (Uphold-Carrier &
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Utz 2012). Results of this study show that the amount of time since the divorce occurred did not
have a major impact on the probability of depression for the children. However, age at the time
of parental divorce and time since the divorce did have a significant affect on family solidarity
for both a child and adult that experienced divorce (Uphold-Carrier & Utz 2012). In addition to
mental health affecting the academic achievement of divorced children genetics and the
et al., (2012), authors discuss the influence of genetics and the environment on children’s
behaviour in relation to divorce. Researchers from this study found that for twin siblings of
divorced parents, internalizing and externalizing problems were higher than of children from
difficulties, but this is due to environmental differences. Internalizing problems consisted of the
child showing signs of depression, anxiety and withdrawn behavior (Robbers et al., 2012).
al., 2012). Genetic factors only accounted for only 25% of the variance in the results related to
internalizing and externalizing behaviours for the children; concluding that environmental factors
can have a greater impact on behaviour problems in childhood (Robbers et al., 2012). A genetic
factor that seemed to have the most impact on children’s social behaviours as children with
Thus, when children experienced negative parenting moments, it triggered the social gene in
children that makes them more susceptible to their environment (Feinberg, et al., 2007).
Furthermore, there is evidence that a parent-child relationship influences the impact of divorce
on a child as well.
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Parent-Child Relationships
Research shows that marital conflict strongly impacts the relationship between children
and their parents. Higher levers of self-blame that the divorced children experience is often due
to parental conflict as children often blame themselves for the divorce (Goodman & Pickens,
2009). This conflict has a weaker effect on father–child relationships as opposed to mother-child
relationships (Kalmijn, 2015). Both father-child and mother-child relationships will be explored
as the researchers look into the impacts of the divorce on the child.
Father Child Relationships. In a study conducted by Stone (2008), factors that influence
the relationship between a father and child post-divorce were examined. The findings show that
the three most influential factors that impact the relationship between a father and child after a
divorce are the father’s clarity on his role, his view that his parenting style is effective and his
perception that the mothers parenting style is not effective. This study suggested that a father’s
clarity and understanding of his role as a parent is essential for creating a positive father-child
relationship post-divorce (Stone, 2008). This study also shows how a father’s perception of his
own ability to be a high-quality parent gives him more confidence when interacting with the
child, thus improving the quality and relationship with the child (Stone, 2008). Fathers who had
a negative outlook on the mothers parenting abilities worked harder to create a positive
relationship with their child post-divorce as they felt that had to be a positive influence for the
child (Stone, 2008). Fathers have also shown higher quality support and more frequent contact if
the mother is the one who re-partners (Kalmijn, 2013). This study suggests that divorce
education programs should place more value on building up fathers’ self-efficacy as parents, and
ensuring fathers are clear on their role as a parent to help them and the child adjust to the stress
family, a few factors that contribute to this is the amount of time the child is able to spend with
the father, the proximity to where the father lives and re-partnering of either parent (Kalmijn,
2013, Kalmijn, 2015 &Viry & Gil, 2014). Research from a variety of studies has found that
parental divorce has negatively impacted the relationship between fathers and their children,
especially older children as the fathers usually spend less time with their children, and there is
usually more conflict with their father (Kalmijn, 2015). In a separate study conducted by
Kalmijn (2013), the researcher expresses the negative affects that re-partnering can have on a
father-child relationship post-divorce. When a divorce transpires, the fathers have less contact
with their children regardless of them re-partnering and when the father re-partners they show
less support to their child (Kalmijn, 2013). If the divorce occurs early in their life, the children
expressed their relationships with their fathers as more inferior (Kalmijn, 2013). This study states
that when a father post-divorce forms a new relationship, this in turn leads to them to spending
less time with their child in comparison to a father that remains single. Evidence suggests that
divorced mothers who are the child’s primary caregiver are 63% less likely to re-partner post-
divorce as compared to mothers who share custody with their ex-partner (Schnor, et al., 2017).
The distance at which a father lives from his child can affect a child’s adjustment to the
divorce depending on his proximity (Viry & Gil, 2014). More specifically, if closer in proximity,
the child demonstrates a higher level of pro-social behavior, as well as less difficulties in regards
to behavior (Viry & Gil, 2014). For the father to maintain a strong relationship with a child after
divorce, it is key that the father is actively involved with the child during the marriage, especially
since arrangements of the divorce are not generally beneficial for the father (Kalmijn, 2015). The
interactions and involvement of the father during the marriage helps determine the custody and
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visitation rights of the father with the child post- divorce (Juby et al., 2005). Mothers who seem
to have a positive family value, with positive attitudes towards re-partnering are more likely to
have sole custody of the child post-divorce (Schnor, et al., 2017). Finally, research notes that
fathers are more capable of negotiating custody and visitation arrangements after the divorce if
they are more educated, possibly increasing the likelihood of visitation rights (Kalmijn, 2015).
Mother Child Relationships. In a study by Wallerstein, Lewis, Packer, Jurist and Elliot
(2013), researchers address the mother child relationship post-divorce. This study found that
post- divorce, over half the mothers were less available and less responsive to their children. This
was particularly noticed from mothers who had two or more children, these findings also were
seen more so post- divorce than during the deteriorating of the marriage (Wallerstein et al.,
2013). Mothers of children who had experienced parental divorce also seemed to express more
humor than mothers of intact families which may be a coping mechanism from the traumatic
experience of divorce (Brenner & Hyde, 2008). One third of the mother’s priorities post-
divorce went from parenting, to trying to rebuild intimate relationships and become finically
stable (Wallerstein et al., 2013). As a result, the children of these mothers displayed irresponsible
activities, which later improved when the mothers provided stability and responsiveness
(Wallerstein et al., 2013). Mothers who experienced divorce seemed to have less maternal
sensitivity post-divorce which made them less able to match their child’s zone of proximal
development meaning how aware the mother is of the child’s level of understanding (Brenner &
Hyde, 2008). One quarter of the mothers struggled with parenting do to their lack of well-being
from the divorce (Wallerstein et al., 2013). Next, we will explore how parental divorce can
Children’s Perspectives
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Every child has a different perspective on parental divorce, each of which can have an
influence on their parental relationships, and their overall view of themselves (Kelly 2017 &
Goodman & Pickens, 2009). Children of divorced and non-divorced families were compared,
and findings showed that children of divorce had lower self-esteem and more self-blame
(Goodman & Pickens, 2009). Children’s self-perception was much lower for children of divorce,
though in a later measure, the scores had increased due to the children’s resiliency and their
divorce occurs was discussed. More specifically, the perception the daughters had on their
father-daughter relationships post-divorce affected them later in life (Kelly, 2017). Daughters
who experienced a positive relationship with their fathers were confident and had high self-
esteem which later impacted their future partners, friends and children in positive ways due to
their high values (Kelly, 2017). If the daughter did not feel they were impacted by the
relationship after the divorce, they had no anticipation of healing (Kelly, 2017). However, these
failed relationships then led these women to seek sympathetic partners in life and other people
who were receptive to their distresses (Kelly, 2017). Interestingly, daughters who had negative
experiences with their father’s post-divorce, placed higher standards on themselves later in life,
had awareness of their importance in life and believed they were the ones that control their own
happiness (Kelly, 2017). When a father is accepting, supporting and loving, research shows that
daughters perceive this as a positive relationship (Kelly, 2017). Furthermore, children who
expressed having fathers that made them feel safe, secure and protected, was a result of the
consistent presence of their father (Kelly, 2017). The high regard daughters have for their fathers
will often motivate them to make choices to make their fathers proud (Kelly, 2017). With regards
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to mothers, it was discovered that children took on a caring role, which then led them to have
less parental support (Wallerstein et al., 2013). This may change the perspectives that children
have when regarding their parents, until stability is restored. Not only does the child’s
perspective influence the relationship they have with others, how they construct the meaning of
Maes, De Mol and Buysse (2011) explain the experience children have when going though
parental divorce and their contractual meaning of divorce. To help children construct meaning
during a parental divorce it is beneficial for the children to have an understanding about what is
going on (Dj Maes et al., 2011). It is more difficult for the children to accept the divorce if they
do not understand why the divorce is happening (Dj Maes et al., 2011). These types of
discussions allow children to feel that they matter to their parents and that their voice counted in
regards to issues such as living arrangements (Dj Maes et al., 2011). When children do not feel
as though they are taken into account during these decisions, they often feel that their post
divorce life did not reflect whom they were (Dj Maes et al., 2011). A study conducted by
Ängarne-Lindberg, Wadsby, & Berterö (2009) looked into adults’ reflections on their experience
of parental divorce in childhood. Many children who experienced divorce expressed feelings of
disappointment either towards their parents or towards their friends and family (Ängarne-
Lindberg, Wadsby, & Berterö, 2009). Children were disappointed in their parents for making
them feel lonely throughout the divorce process, and also for their parent’s lack of discussions
related to the divorce (Ängarne-Lindberg, Wadsby, & Berterö, 2009). With this disappointment
also came some resignation for putting the responsibility on the child to take care of the angry
and unhappy parent, making the child feel that they have to put themselves second (Ängarne-
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Lindberg, Wadsby, & Berterö, 2009). These children reported being disappointed in their friends
and family as most children reported not having many people to talk to about the divorce and the
feelings caused by the situation they were in (Ängarne-Lindberg, Wadsby, & Berterö, 2009). A
separate study conducted by Du Plooy and Rensburg (2015) discussed a variety of coping
strategies that adult children tend to use after experiencing parental divorce. Results of this study
show that people who persevere through the changes that come with parental divorce helped
them to cope with the entire situation (Du Plooy & Rensburg, 2015). Open and effective
communication within the family that is experiencing divorce, as well as in the extended family
and friend group is a large and effective part of the coping process including sharing thoughts
and feelings as a form of interpersonal connections (Du Plooy & Rensburg, 2015). Other
children of parental divorce reported feeling content with the situation as they felt that the family
was better off after the divorce, they were happy with the way their parents handled the divorce,
and happy with the amount of support they received during and after the divorce (Ängarne-
Lindberg, Wadsby, & Berterö, 2009). If parents work out a proper parenting plan it will help in
creating cohesive parenting which leads to fewer behavioral difficulties, less difficulties with
peers and less difficulties with behaviour (Viry & Gil, 2014). Ultimately, children can interpret
divorce in both positives and negative ways according to the support and experience they have
throughout the adjustment of the divorce process and the way in which they interpret the event
In spite of the negative effects of divorce, recent qualitative studies explored different
factors that contribute to the child’s well being throughout the process of divorce. Milam and
Schmidt (2018) explored how social support and spirituality can impact a child’s posttraumatic
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growth after experiencing parental divorce as well as how resilient the children have become
after the divorce. Posttraumatic growth is when people are able to positively move on from a
traumatic event, in this case, after a parental divorce (Milam & Schmidt, 2018). Themes of pain
were associated with parental divorce, and when adult children were asked to list negative
outcomes of divorce, many of them mentioned that they experienced disappointing and changed
relationships with their parent’s post-divorce (Milam & Schmidt, 2018). Findings of this study
suggest that higher levels of emotional social support resulted in higher levels of posttraumatic
growth, while spirituality did not play a significant role (Milam & Schmidt, 2018). Research
states that even after the stress of divorce, these children can have the potential to be resilient and
strengthen their identity and personal relationships (Milam & Schmidt, 2018). The adult-childs’
awareness of available social supports is more important than the amount of times they actually
use the supports (Milam & Schmidt, 2018). It was also noted that these children felt more
comfortable in their living environment after a divorce as their parents were often happier and
more at peace, which helped them with their posttraumatic growth as well (Milam & Schmidt,
2018).
Conclusion
Divorce impacts a child’s lived experiences in several ways. Some themes in which this
paper further explores are the impact on the child, the parent-child relationship, the child’s
perspective on the divorce and support and resilience post-divorce. In relation to these themes,
studies have found that divorce negatively impacts the child by diminishing their psychosocial
well being which in turn negatively impacts a child’s academic achievement, as well as their
behaviours. Father- child relationships post-divorce seems to have major impacts on the child’s
development. How the child perceives the divorce can have lasting effects on their future
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relationships. These negative effects can be buffered through a variety of positive relationships
and though having some control over decision making through the process of divorce.
When investigating relevant literature on the topic of divorce, a gap of research was
noticed in a variety of areas. Information about step parents and how they may affect the child
seemed not to be as prominent when researching this topic. Another area of knowledge in which
does not have a large amount of research is on the mother-child relationship post divorce, as
most research studies focus on both parents, thus not looking in depth at the child’s relationship
solely with the mother. Additionally, research in this area is lacking on the variety of coping
The research that is found will benefit people working with children who have
experienced parental divorce. Another way this information can be used is by a variety of people
and professionals such as social workers, RECE’s, other researchers and parents who interact
with children of divorce. This information can be used when creating support programs and
workshops for these children. This information is relevant to understanding how parental divorce
Researchers of this study intend to interview adult children and their unique experiences
of going though parental divorce. Throughout this paper, the authors are hoping to gather
information on the lived experiences of adults who have experienced parental divorce in
childhood.
Chapter 2
Methodology
The methodology that was used in this study is qualitative, defined as detailed information on
a small population with an emphasis on words or pictures (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). Qualitative
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studies focus on the variety of meanings that people connect with different phenomena and
experiences (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). For the purpose of this study, qualitative methodology is
best as it looks into rich and contextualized detail in the data (Mukherji & Albon, 2015).
Qualitative research empowers individuals to share their stories as they describe what they felt in
time, body, space, and relationships throughout their experience of parental divorce. The
methodology within qualitative research which will be used in this study is phenomenology,
which looks at the lived experiences of oneself or others. Our intent is to look at the lived
experiences of adult children who experienced divorce as a child using the paradigm of
young age. Through semi-structured interviews were able to collect data from participants which
offered us multiple views and perspectives (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). A semi- structured
interview allows the researchers to ask detailed questions where the participant is able to freely
express themselves (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). We were able to create common codes and
themes and group them into common views and perspectives (Mukherji & Albon, 2015).
Philosophical Assumptions
The ontology of this research takes on an interpretivist lens as the researchers have
collected information taking into account the multiple realities and subjective truths of the
participants. Interpretivism can have multiple explanations for actions and meaning towards
those actions (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). These findings will not be universal as there are no
generalizations of people’s experiences (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). The researchers have sought
to discover how people interpret phenomena in different ways (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). The
epistemology of this study is based on knowledge that is obtained through the experiences of
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parental divorce of the participants. The researchers know this information to be true as people
have subjective experiences and the researchers cannot quantify their experiences.
Reflexivity
The authors of this paper have examined the responses of adult children who experienced
parental divorce. The information from the interviews has been interpreted with the authors
biases towards the phenomena. A bias may be that both researchers have experienced parental
divorce as children, which may influence the way information from interviews is interpreted.
The information that the researchers have chosen to focus on may be influenced by their own
experiences. Due to the researchers experiencing parental divorce in a more positive way than a
negative way this may also influence the material we choose to focus on. Both researchers have
studied child development and have background knowledge on what may be viewed as typical or
appropriate behaviours in regards to child rearing. Moreover, authors of this paper were
interpreting the information from the interviews through a student lens in which may have
persuaded the authors to view general themes were explored in the Honours Bachelor of Child
Chapter 3
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Qualitative Research Design
The following research design will outline the participants, data collection, procedure and
timeline as well as the data collection instruments and measurement. Qualitative studies often
include interviews to collect descriptive data about the participants lived experiences. In this
case, researchers have sought to find information on adult children’s lived experiences of
parental divorce.
Participants
For the purpose of this study, the researchers have conducted interviews with five adult
children who experienced parental divorce as a child. Participants were recruited through posters
posted on the walls around Magna Hall and Garriock Hall at Seneca King Campus and on
Facebook (Please see Appendix A). This was an example of opportunity sampling which can be
defined as researchers who gathering information from participants who are part of a particular
population and are available and willing to participate (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). Inclusion
criteria included men and women who experienced parental divorce as a child before the age of
16 and must have experienced parental divorce at least five years prior to interview. Participants
were between the ages of 18-30. Exclusion criteria included people under age 17 who have
experienced parental divorce in the last five years and if parental divorce occurred when the
person was over the age of 16. These criteria help to mitigate the potential risks to the
Data Collection
To collect data needed for this research paper, the researchers conducted interviews
(Please see Appendix B). These interviews consisted of a combination of 11 open-ended and
closed- ended questions (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). Participants were required to drive to the
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local library to conduct the interview in a private meeting room. The time needed to complete the
interview was approximately 15- 45 minutes. This study was approved by the Research Ethics
Participants were recruited, given a letter of information which informs them about the
study and how to contact the researchers if they are willing to participate in the study (Please see
Appendix C). Both researchers of this study have conducted interviews with consenting
participants which were all conducted in person (Please see Appendix D & E). Before the
interviews had begun, the participants were reminded about the study, signed any necessary
consent forms and told that they are able to withdraw from the study at any point in time. Once
the participants consented, researcher’s audio recorded the interview. The participants were
asked to verbally answer 11 questions about their experience of parental divorce. The
participants were then thanked for their time and cooperation. The researchers started recruiting
participants in January 2019 and recruitment was closed once five interviews have been
conducted which ended in the beginning of February 2019. Researchers had all data collected by
February 2019 and then used the data to code information to then use it to answer the research
question.
The instrument used in this qualitative study is an interview, which can be defined as people
asking questions to another person or group of people with the expectation to gather information
about their views on a particular topic (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). Interviews are usually used
when researchers are looking for an in-depth explanation (Mukherji & Albon, 2015).
Researchers created the interview questions with the intention to gather information about the
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lived experiences of adult children. These interviews touched upon the overall relationships,
emotions, changes and support that the participants may have experienced throughout the
process of parental divorce. Questions for the interview were also created in relation to the
scholarly articles discussed in the literature review. Researchers created prompts for certain
questions to ensure that they are receiving the information needed to help answer the research
question. The questions that will be used in the interviews were reviewed by experts and all
variables have been defined in the literature review. Through the responses of the participants,
Chapter 4
Data Analysis
The researchers of this study have analyzed all the data collected from the interviews of adult
children’s lived experiences of parental divorce. Once the researchers became familiar with the
data by reading the transcripts from the interviews and putting the information into context, the
data was coded (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). In order to code the data, the researchers grouped the
data by colour coding similar ideas, attitudes, thoughts and feelings that are consistent
throughout the interview (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). The questions created for the interviews
evoke participants to deeply discuss their experiences through their senses, space and time. Next
the codes were categorized by combining the codes that fit together (Mukherji & Albon, 2015).
To create themes and relationships among the codes, the researchers searched for a broad theme
that will reflect the fundamental meaning of the participants responses (Mukherji & Albon,
2015). The researchers then developed concepts and came to general themes by developing a
narrative explanation of the findings to represent the data (Mukherji & Albon, 2015). Although
this is a phenomenological study in which participants are asked to express their personal
experiences, coding allows the researchers to gather similarities within the interviews.
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Chapter 5
Findings
The present study investigated the participants responses to the interviews in which they
discussed their lived experiences of parental divorce. The coding process led to a global theme,
sub themes and codes that were generated to describe the experiences of adult-children who went
and familial and extra-familial relationships all relate to changes that come with divorce. Many
of the participants spoke about variations in their experiences, which were grouped into similar
categories.
Theme: Roles. Participants described the many roles that they played, such a becoming a
financial contributor to the family, or increasing the amount of help around they provided for the
house. The participants felt that these roles turned them into a caregiver in the home, rather than
remaining in the role of a child. Step parent also fits under roles, as post-divorce some
participants parents had re-partnered, leading the new individual in the home to take on a role,
which had both positive and negative effects on the adult-child. This relates to the global theme
of Changes, since the child and parent roles changed, with new duties assigned and new
individuals present in the home and taking on the work of the former parent.
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Table 1. Theme: Roles
Becoming a Caregiver Participant 003:
“After the divorce, my oldest brother felt that
he needed to take over the role of the man of
the house so he stopped focusing on school
and he worked a lot so he was bringing in
money and helping my mom”
Participant 002:
…I notice that I am more independent that I
would have been if the divorce didn’t occur, I
notice a few little things.”
Participant 003:
“So my relationship with my stepfather was
that I was glad to have him because I saw
how happy he made my mom and I cared for
him. He took care of us, he would come over
all the time, bring us food and help out, he
genuinely cared for me.”
Participant 005:
“I believed that due to my situation, my mom
was my mom and my dad was my dad. No
one else could or would come in and try to act
like my parents if they weren’t”
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Theme: Living Arrangements. Codes that appear to connect to an overall theme of
living arrangements include travel, frequency, convenience and needed us. Travel fits under
living arrangements since the distance to visit the other parent made traveling between homes
more difficult. Frequency fits under living arrangements as the location that the child resided at
impacted how often the child visited the other parent. Convivence fits under living arrangements
as the distance to which the parent lived impacted the accessibility to resources for the child such
as distance to school or friends. If the father indicated that he didn’t need the child, or if the
mother indicated a need for close physical proximity, this affected the living arrangements since
the father would be less involved. Globally, these living arrangements changed for the children,
Participant 003:
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PARENTAL DIVORCE
“The quality with my dad wasn’t good either
because I would see him, but it was rare that I
would see him and I didn’t feel the same”
Participant 005:
“My mother had custody of us, so we resided
with her. My brother and I went to our fathers
every Wednesday, sleepovers every other
Wednesday and spent every other weekend
with him.”
Participant 002:
“My mom, she lived way closer to our school,
she lived right behind our school so we lived
there. We would just walk to school every
day. That was really the main reason.”
Theme: Academics. A code that appeared to connect to the overall theme of academics,
is poor academic performance. This code fits under academics as post-divorce the majority of
participants revealed a decline in their academic performance such as having trouble focusing in
school, not wanting to go to school and dropping grades. This connects to the global theme of
Changes, since the adult-children observed a difference between prior academic success and
decline post-divorce.
Participant 001:
“…academic performance, I didn’t wanna go
to school, I held off on going to college for a
while”
Participant 003:
“Academic performance... it was hard for me
to focus in school, my grades were dropping
but I didn’t really notice it. It was teachers
that noticed and spoke with my mom. I didn’t
really care for school work, I was angry so I
tried to be the class clown to hide my
emotions through joking”
Theme: Behaviour. Codes that appear to connect to the overall theme of behavior
consist of numb, anger, escape, acting out and stress. Numb fits under this theme as a few
participants noted that their emotions were shut off and that they did not feel anything anymore,
which in turn may have affected their behavior. Anger fits under the theme of behavior as post-
divorce a participant noted that she was always angry and this led her to get into a lot of fights.
The code escape fits under the theme of behavior as a participant noted that she wanted to go out
more post-divorce, which was in relation to her stating she was not used to being at home yet.
This was a change in her behavior as it was different prior to the divorce. Acting out is a code
that falls under behavior as a participant noted that he was a hyper child, which led him to
believe this was why he was acting out. All participants described these emotional or behavioural
Participant 003:
“…I think that I just shut myself off
afterwards so there was really nothing that I
said that would have been able to be taken
into account….”
Theme: Parent Relationships. Codes that appear to connect to the overall theme of
parent relationships consist of stronger/closer, less tense, time away, emotional distance, co-
parenting and support. The code stronger/closer falls under parent relationships as few
participants noted that their relationship with their mothers grew stronger and closer post-
divorce. The code less tense falls under this theme as a participant noted that her relationship
with her father prior to the divorce was more difficult and post-divorce their relationship
improved and became less tense. The code time away falls under this theme as post-divorce as
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the amount of time spent away from the parent may influence their relationship. Emotional
distance falls under this theme as the relationship between the child and parent grew increasingly
absent, despite the desire of the child. In fact, the majority of participants explained that their
fathers were more distant from them. One participant wished her father was in her life more
while another explained that her relationship with their father no longer existed. The code co-
parenting falls under this theme as most participants noted that the co-parenting has an effect on
the relationship between both parents. Participants noted that when the parents planned and
started to figure things out that the relationships between the two improved. The code support
falls under this theme of parent relationships as most participants noted that they felt supported
throughout the divorce process stating that their parents made sure they were okay and that they
were there for them emotionally. Ultimately, the relationship between the parent, co-parent and
child showed significant changes, noting the relationship to the global theme.
Participant 002:
“…with my mom, it brought us closer
together…”
Participant 005:
“I feel like the space away from my father,
because he moved about half an hour away
from my house, improved our relationship as
I got older.”
Participant 002:
“… my dad was more distanced and my mom
was closer.”
Participant 003:
“I wish I had to have the opportunity to have
my dad in my life more.”
Participant 002:
“During the divorce was a little rocky they
did not get along at all, but as the years went
on, its been now 11 years so everything has
become a lot smoother and they both kind of
panned out and things kinda worked
themselves out.”
Participant 003:
“Even though they weren’t in a good place
after the relationship they could be in the
same room but maybe it was for the sake of
us that they were civil because they didn’t
wanna cause a scene in front of us.”
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PARENTAL DIVORCE
Participant 005:
“Throughout the divorce process it was very
rocky, but now it has changed a little. When
they discuss finances and child support that
was never received, their relationship is toxic.
But when they are discussing the safety and
overall well-being of my brother and I they
begin to co-parent.”
Participant 004:
“Yes I was supported from both my parents,
they were both very understanding and made
sure that me and my sister were okay”
Participant 005:
“They were always there for us”
Participant 003:
“I would say that I did feel supported, my
aunt would call me a lot and talk to me, she
would come over a lot. My other aunt would
come over a lot, she was like my emotional
support, she would talk to a lot and take me
out to the movies or shopping and we would
talk a lot because she also went through the
same thing, so she helped me understand and
gave me the experience side of it. She was
there for me.”
Theme: Parenting Styles. Codes that appeared to connect to an overall theme included
being strict and being lenient, which both fit under the theme of parenting styles. The code strict
fits under parenting styles as some participants reported that the parenting styles of their parents
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PARENTAL DIVORCE
had become more strict post-divorce. Leniency also fit under the theme of parenting styles since
some participants reported their parents becoming more lenient throughout the divorce process.
This connects to the global theme of Changes, since the adult-children observed a difference in
parenting styles of their parents’ post-divorce where parents became either strict or more lenient.
Participant 003:
“She was strict, but I would still talk back and
give her attitude”
Participant 002:
“With my mom, I feel that she became more
laidback and became a little more, you know,
when you have kids and this happened, I
guess she felt that she had to kinda be a little
bit nicer in a way.”
communication include poor communication and no input. The code poor communication fits
under the theme of communication as few participants recall minimal or negative conversations
with parents throughout the divorce. No input fits under the theme of communication as majority
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PARENTAL DIVORCE
of participants reported having no say in the matter and felt as if their views were not taken into
account at the time of the divorce. All participants noted changes in their communication
throughout the divorce process, thus creating a connection to the global theme.
Participant 003:
“She would always complain to me about my
dad and always say to me that my dad is such
a horrible person and father. My dad had a
family after the divorce, my mom would trash
talk my dad a lot which made me angry
towards my dad but also angry towards my
mom”
Participant 003:
“ …I don’t think my views were taken into
account. But for instance, I did say like why
didn’t I go with my dad, why did I stay with
you, and my mom said well because I’m your
mother…the divorce process is all about them
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PARENTAL DIVORCE
…They don’t really consider what we
feel…Clearly it doesn’t matter what I think”
Participant 002:
“They just said that it was kinda happening
and that’s how it was going to be.”
Participant 004:
“…my views weren’t taken into account, noo,
it kinda just happened and we didn’t have a
say.”
Participant 005:
“I was happy that my mom told me rather
then just handling the situation on her own,
she knew the right thing to do was inform her
eldest child.”
an overall theme included siblings, extended family and friends, which all fit under the theme of
familial and extra-familial relationships. Researchers placed these codes with this theme to be
able to find connections between participants relationships that may be similar. The code
siblings fit under this theme as some participants reported having a close relationship with a
sibling throughout the divorce process. Extended family fits under the theme of familial and
extra-familial relationships as most participants noted that there was a negative change in their
relationship with their extended family post-divorce as one participant reported the interacts as
being awkward. Also, the code friends fit under this theme as some participants noted that they
had noticed slightly negative changes in their relationships with their friend’s post-divorce, while
another participant reported no change. The global theme of Changes includes this theme as
relationships with siblings, extended family and friends were all affected by the divorce.
Participant 002:
“Me and my sister didn’t really know much
when we were young, so we didn’t really
know what was going on, but as we got older
we are now really close, so I think it worked
out for the best.”
Participant 003:
“There was a time where we didn’t get along,
but after a couple of years we were closer.”
“… She didn’t wanna separate my brothers
and I because we had a close relationship
growing up”
Participant 004:
“My relationship with extended family was
probably impacted the most, just because
some people were weird about it and they felt
awkward about it even though I didn’t.”
Participant 002:
“Well a little bit, we did go back and fourth to
my aunts and grandparents houses, so it was
kind of like a big deal for everyone because
they were kinda put in the middle of it, but
other than that, the relationship wasn’t really
affected”
Participant 002:
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PARENTAL DIVORCE
“Uhmmm.. my friends, it didn’t really affect
my relationship with them at first because we
were young so I didn’t really know, and not
even they knew really what was going on.”
Participant 001:
“Friends didn’t really understand so it’s hard
to have someone guide you when they don’t
know what it’s like to be going through that.”
Theme: Coping
The theme of coping is a new theme that researchers felt was important to look into as
participants all mentioned different strategies used for coping throughout and post-divorce.
Codes that appear to connect to an overall theme of coping include healthy and unhealthy coping
strategies. The code healthy fits under the theme of coping as all participants reported some
positive coping strategies that they use post-divorce such as going for drives, listening to music,
baking or going to the gym. The code unhealthy fits under the theme of coping as majority of
participants reported some negative coping strategies that they use post-divorce such as smoking
Participant 002:
“…I go to the gym a lot so I used that as a
stress reliever I guess you can say, but more
so now because when it happened I was too
young. I also played videogames and stuff
like that when I was stressed.”
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PARENTAL DIVORCE
Participant 003:
“… many different types of therapies, like
regular ones where you go and sit down and
talk to someone, which I found helpful
because even though you don’t like to talk
about certain things, sometimes these people
know how to talk to you, and its important to
talk about certain things. Its nice to have
people outside the family to talk to about
these things, its important when going
through something to have an outsiders
opinion. Other types of therapy like paint
therapy which I enjoyed where you talk to a
therapist while you paint.”
Participant 004:
“I just take time for myself, like I go to my
room, or go out and drive around, I relax and
watch a movie.”
Participant 005:
“I also enjoy going for drives and listening to
music when I’m stressed.”
Participant 003:
“Back then I would also yell and scream, I
didn’t know to deal with stress back then, I
didn’t have strategies, when I was stressed
before people knew to stay out of my way.
Strategies I have now, I smoke a cigarette …I
still have to work on dealing with stressful
situations, I get overwhelmed and anxious.”
Participant 005:
“I began smoking cigarettes as well as
marijuana occasionally.”
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Chapter 6
Discussion
In this section of the discussion, researchers will be making connections from the
findings of the literature review to the results of the current study being examined. Researchers
will discuss pertinent ideas in relation to the lived experiences of adult children who experienced
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parental divorce. These concepts have been organized into headings that consist of the effects of
divorce on the child, relationships and communication. Lastly, the researchers will discuss the
limitations of this study and pose possible recommendations for future research.
In the literature review, studies show that children who have experienced parental divorce show
a decline in their approach to learning which may influence their motivation academically
(Anthony, Diperna & Amato, 2014). Multiple participants in the current study expressed that
they had poor academic performance after the divorce process. They voiced that their grades
were dropping, they were not motivated to go to school, it was hard for them to focus and some
didn’t care for school work. Previous research also states that aggressive behaviour, depression,
substance abuse and stress may escalate in children due to parental divorce (Short, 2008).
According to the current study’s results, participants reported increased aggression caused by
anger generated from the divorce. Substance use was amplified post-divorce, additionally, the
researchers found that the use of cigarettes was also amplified. Many participants of the current
study also mentioned having increased levels of stress, one stating that she let her stress get the
best of her. For instance, participant 003 stated, “Back then I would also yell and scream, I didn’t
know to deal with stress back then, I didn’t have strategies, when I was stressed before people
knew to stay out of my way. Strategies I have now, I smoke a cigarette …I still have to work on
Another connection found in the literature review was that children who experienced
parental divorce noticed a negative change in their relationships with a parent post-divorce; pain
was also associated (Milam & Schmidt, 2018). Participants of this study communicated that their
relationship with their father no-longer existed post-divorce or that they were most distanced in
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PARENTAL DIVORCE
their relationship. In relation to feelings of pain, a participant desired the opportunity to have a
Studies have shown that post-divorce, children have the ability to be resilient and
reinforce their own identity and personal relationships, even after the stress that often comes with
parental divorce. All participants displayed resilience and noted some positive changes in
themselves post-divorce. Some changes reported by the participants include more independence,
behavioural changes within the family and the use of positive coping strategies such as cooking,
All significant relationships surrounding each participant can have a vital role in the
coping process (Du Plooy & Rensburg, 2015). Communication such as expressing feelings and
thoughts form interpersonal connections within the relationships (Du Plooy & Rensburg, 2015).
A participant in the current study stated that she felt very supported by her extended family. She
mentioned that she was able to use that interpersonal connection to have someone to talk to
openly about the divorce. The participant also noted that part of her coping involved going out
and talking with extended family to help understand the situation and hear advice from someone
with experience. Children of parental divorce felt that they were unable to discuss their feelings
and thoughts around divorce to family and friends, which fostered disappointment in the children
(Ängarne-Lindberg, Wadsby, & Berterö, 2009). Post-divorce, the majority of participants in the
current study noted that communication with extended family was minimal or awkward, which
hindered their communication. Researchers stated that the participants also found it uneasy to
speak with their friends about parental divorce. They found it difficult for their friends to
understand the situation seeing as though they have not experienced divorce themselves.
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Through the lack of discussion between parents and their children related to parental
Wadsby, & Berterö, 2009). The researchers of the present study found that the majority of
participants felt that there was no discussion around the divorce and views of the children were
not taken into account. Participants report that when being told of the parental divorce, they did
not have a say and that they felt as though their parents had their minds made up and their
opinion did not matter. When children do not understand the circumstances that lead to parental
divorce, accepting the divorce is more difficult (Dj Maes et al., 2011). In connection to this
finding, a participant of the current study reported that she was happy that her mother took the
time to explain the situation to her, as she felt that was the right thing to do which helped the
Kalmijn (2015) found that the relationship between children and their fathers were
affected in a negative way. As the children grew older the relationship between the father and
child grew more distant as they spent less time together, greater conflict was also a factor in
fostering a negative relationship (Kalmijn, 2015). Participant 002 mentioned that he noticed a
negative change in his relationship with his father as he got older due to the fact that he was now
spending less time with him. However, in contrast to Kalmijn (2015), the majority of the
participants in the current study noted that spending less time with their fathers was related to
positive outcomes in regard to the father-child relationship. This may be due to …? In addition to
what was previously discussed, it has been noted that children overall demonstrate better
behaviour when parents have a positive co-parenting relationship and plan accordingly (Viry &
Gil, 2014). In relation to the current study, one of the participants reported acting out earlier in
the divorce as the parents were still not effectively co-parenting. However, when the parents
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planned a cohesive parenting plan, the participant states that his behaviour improved. Another
participant reported her parents having a successful co-parenting relationship from the beginning
which in turn lead her to report only slight difficulties post divorce.
Findings of this study may benefit the research community as it can better inform people
working with children how children truly feel and are affected by parental divorce, which may
lead to them creating more effective support programs for them. This research may benefit
society-at-large as the information from this study may lead to people being more informed
There are a couple of limitations of the present study that have become apparent
throughout the research process. Researchers may not have gathered the information they have
sought if the interviewee misinterpreted the questions being asked. During the interview
process, the interviewees may have only provided the researchers with information that they
think the researchers wanted to hear. The researchers may have provided additional prompts to
elicit relevant and detailed responses. In regard to recruitment, researchers’ posters did not
display the exclusion criteria which in future should be revised so as to avoid those not meeting
the requirements to participate. To mitigate risks, participants had to have experienced the
divorce more than 5 years prior to the interview, however researchers found that people most
responsive to the posters were currently experiencing parental divorce. Furthermore, some
participants had difficulties recalling the exact events of the parental divorce as it had occurred
many years ago and at a young age. The researchers were unable to mitigate this issue given
to analyze, code and create general statements of the results. Findings of the study are not
generalizable and cannot be viewed as universal as the data collected is unique to the individuals
Recommendations
With regards to the method used for the study, in order to improve future research, the
researchers reccomend including the use of a survey in addition to the interviews in order to
triangulate the findings and make them more generalizable. Additionality, interviewing the
parents of children who have experienced parental divorce may be beneficial as these insights
may provide connections or contrary insight, providing different implications from the child’s
interview. Future research could also conduct a study to examine behavioural changes in children
pre and post divorce. Another recommendation for future research could be to gather additional
information about step-parents and how they may impact a child who has experienced parental
divorce, as this was an interesting but small finding from this study.
parental divorce should openly communicate with their child about the divorce process as
evidence has shown positive outcomes for the children. Due to the stress that may be caused by
the parental divorce, children seem to develop unhealthy coping patterns, it may be beneficial for
practitioners to provide these children with positive coping strategies which in turn may lead to
positive behaviours.
Conclusion
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Researchers presented a number of issues that children face post-divorce, this study
examined the lived experiences of adult children who experienced parental divorce in childhood.
The present study builds on current literature and replicates the findings of previous studies on
the topic of parental divorce. The findings of this literature presented the researchers with both
positive and negative outcomes of parental divorce in regard to behaviour, relationships and
communication. This study suggested that the behaviour of the child depended on the co-
parenting relationship established by the parents. Results indicate that the father child
relationship grew further apart while the mother child relationship seemed to grow closer post-
that children felt they were not involved in meaning making and desired open communication
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I have received a copy of the Invitation to Participate for the research project entitled A
Retrospective Study: Lived experiences of Adults Exposed to Parental Divorce in
Childhood, I have had an opportunity to read the information provided and any questions that I
may have had have been answered.
I agree to participate in this research project, understanding that I am doing so voluntarily,
that confidentiality will be maintained, that I may choose not to answer to any of the questions,
and that I have the right to withdraw from the study using the means outlined above.
Circle one:
Print Name:________________________________________
I have received a copy of the Invitation to Participate for the research project entitled A
Retrospective Study: Lived experiences of Adults Exposed to Parental Divorce in
Childhood, I have had an opportunity to read the information provided and any questions that I
may have had have been answered.
I agree to participate in this research project, understanding that I am doing so voluntarily,
that confidentiality will be maintained, that I may choose not to answer to any of the questions,
and that I have the right to withdraw from the study using the means outlined above.
Circle one:
Print Name:________________________________________