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When

the o ender does not live in the home, visitation may be allowed. If the o ender is in treatment
or under supervision, guidelines may come from those sources. However, if the o ender has not been
convicted and/or is no longer on supervision or in treatment, it is the mother's responsibility to
maintain the safety of the children. The following rules are helpful as guidelines for both home visits
and family visits outside the home. 

Rules for Home Visits (adapted from Meinig & Saunders, 1995):


The offender never enters a child's bedroom.
The offender uses a separate bathroom, one not used by children, whenever possible.
All family members lock the bathroom door after entry.
The offender must be within eyesight at all times while he is in the home.
The offender is not to control children's activities.
The offender is not to discipline or otherwise confront children regarding
any misbehavior.
The offender is not to sit next to children.
The offender is not to sit with a child on his lap.
The offender is never to be involved with any physical hygiene involving a child.'
The offender is never to criticize or compliment a child's physical appearance, including
hair, clothing, or makeup, unless the child specifically asks the offender for an opinion.
The offender is never to engage in horseplay and never to tickle a child.   

Rules for Overnight Visits (adapted from Meinig & Saunders, 1995):

All bedroom doors must have locks. Children have the option or locking their doors.
The offender is fully clothed at all times when he is outside the bedroom or bathroom.
The offender cannot be awake, up, and in other areas of the house if his wife is asleep.
If the offender needs to get up during the night, such as going to bathroom, he must
wake his wife.
The offender is never to be left alone with the children. He is to be outside the home if
the wife is away and children are at home for any reason.
The offender must leave the home if children invite their friends to spend the night. If
the parents of the visiting child are aware of the offender's history and give permission
for their child to stay, then the offender can remain in the home, but always under
supervision.

Rules for Family Visits Outside the Home (adapted from Meinig & Saunders, 1995):

The offender is never left alone with children.


The offender is never to discipline children. The mother is responsible for disciplining
the children. She is also responsible for administering any rewards.
The offender is not to discuss the abuse in any way with the children. Any discussion of
that type must take place in a setting that includes a treatment professional.
The offender will minimize physical contact with the children and will initiate NO
physical contact with the children. This includes hugs, hand-holding, and kisses.
The offender will not sit next to children in the car, the restaurant, or in any other
place the family visits.
The offender is not to be around the children's friends.
The offender is not allowed to have any secrets with the children.
The offender is not allowed to directly give the children any gifts. These must be given
through the mother or the other responsible adult chaperoning the visit.

 
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Stop Abuse Campaign published a plea for


adults to make a pledge to be a "Believer."
Believe victims of child abuse and domestic
violence and strive to protect them from their
abusers? The children called us believers
because we believed them when all the
professionals who were supposed to protect
them didn’t.
Hello, I’m Barry Goldstein and many people ask
me how I can keep working on painful abuse
cases in which courts often disbelieve true
complaints and fail to protect chi... See More

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