Page 1 The Office: The Staff Meeting

S C E N E 1 . I N T. D AY -
THE OFFICE.

( E A R LY M O R N I N G . T H E O F F I C E I S E M P T Y E X C E P T F O R O N E
P E R S O N . P E O P L E A R E S TA RT I N G T O A R R I V E F O R T H E S TA F F
M E E T I N G . T I M I S AT H I S D E S K R E A D I N G T H E PA P E R . G A R E T H
ENTERS)

GARETH:
Morning.

TIM:
H e l l o m a t e . I s e e y o u ’ r e r e a d y f o r t h e b i g m e e t i n g . Ve r y s m a r t !

GARETH:

(OPENING THE BRIEFCASE ON HIS DESK)

Ye s . I n m y p o s i t i o n a s A s s i s t a n t R e g i o n a l M a n a g e r o b l i q u e Te a m L e a d e r I
h a v e t o s e t a c e r t a i n s t a n d a r d f o r o t h e r s t o f o l I o w. P l u s , I ’ m t a k i n g t h e
m i n u t e s t o d a y.

TIM:
A s s i s t a n t t o t h e R e g i o n a l M a n a g e r . A c t u a l l y, G a r e t h , I ’ v e a l w a y s m e a n t
to ask you. What exactly do you keep in that briefcase? I mean you bring
i t i n e v e r y d a y b u t I t h i n k t h a t ’s t h e f i r s t t i m e I ’ v e s e e n y o u o p e n i t .
What you got in there? Big sandwiches? Back issues of The Infantryman?

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 2 The Office: The Staff Meeting

GARETH:
F u n n y. L o t s o f t h i n g s a c t u a l l y.

TIM:
Such as?

GARETH:
This pen for starters.

(GARETH PRODUCES AN EXPENSIVE LOOKING PEN FROM THE

CASE).

TIM:
I t ’s o n l y a s t a f f m e e t i n g G a r e t h . N o t a r o y a l v i s i t .

GARETH:
A good soldier is always well prepared.

( D AW N A R R I V E S . S H E I S O U T O F B R E AT H A N D L O O K S F L U S T E R E D )

TIM:
Morning dawn. Alright?

D AW N :
N o . I t w a s b l o o d y m u r d e r g e t t i n g h e r e f o r 8 . 3 0 . I h o p e t h i s m e e t i n g ’s
worth it.
GARETH:
We l l i t m u s t b e s o m e t h i n g i m p o r t a n t f o r D a v i d B r e n t t o c a l l a m e e t i n g s o
e a r l y. S o m e t h i n g m u s t h a v e g o n e o n a t t h e c o n f e r e n c e

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 3 The Office: The Staff Meeting

TIM:
Oh yes. Amsterdam wasn’t it? He probably wants to tell us about the
shag he got.

D AW N :
That would be a first!

TIM:
Oh, he’ll have paid for it.

( D AV I D B R E N T A P P E A R S A S T H E Y A R E L A U G H I N G ) .

D AV I D :
M o r n i n g . W h a t w as t h a t Ti m ?

TIM:
Oh, morning. I was just saying to Dawn that I thought that even though
the company had flown you all to Amsterdam for the conference you
probably had to pay for your own accommodation, seeing as how profits
are down.

D AV I D :
N o T i m o t h y. A l l e x p e n s e s p a i d . 4 s t a r . Yo u c a n ’ t p u t a p r i c e o n t h e
benefit of getting senior management together round a table.

TIM:
So what did you do whilst that was happening then? Go sightseeing?

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 4 The Office: The Staff Meeting

D AV I D :
Ve r y f u n n y. I h a d s o m e g o o d n e w s f o r y o u a c t u a l l y, b u t I ’ m n o t s u r e I ’ l l
s h a r e i t n o w.

TIM:
Oh, go on. I was only joking.

D AV I D :
A l l w i l l b e r e v e a l e d i n t h e f u l l n e s s o f t i m e . We l l , i n a b o u t 1 5 m i n u t e s
a c t u a l l y. I c a n ’ t l e t t h e m e e t i n g d r a g o n , I ’ v e g o t a 1 0 . 3 0 w i t h t h e h e a d
of purchasing at Drysons. See you in the meeting. Gareth, are you ready?

( G A R E T H G AT H E R S H I S N O T E PA D A N D P E N A N D S C U R R I E S
T O WA R D S B R E N T ’ S O F F I C E )

GARETH:
P r e s e n t a n d c o r r e c t s i r.

S C E N E 2 . I N T. D AY -
TRAINING/MEETING ROOM.

( T H E S TA F F A R E S I T T I N G R O U N D C H AT T I N G A M O N G S T
T H E M S E LV E S A S D AV I D A N D G A R E T H E N T E R T H E R O O M
E N T H U S I A S T I C A L LY. )

D AV I D :
H i y a ! R i g h t . G o o d m o r n i n g e v e r y o n e . Yo u a l l g o t a c o f f e e o r w h a t e v e r ?
G o o d . G o o d . T h a n k s f o r c o m i n g i n a b i t e a r l i e r t o d a y. T h i s i s t h e f i r s t

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 5 The Office: The Staff Meeting

official staff meeting and something that I’d like to do on a regular

basis.

( L O O K S R O U N D F O R A P P R O VA L A N D J U S T G E T S B L A N K , T I R E D A N D
P I S S E D O F F FA C E S S TA R I N G B A C K ) .

Yo u k n o w t h e t r o u b l e w i t h u s i s t h a t w e c o m m u n i c a t e b u t w e d o n ’ t r e a l l y
communicate if you know what I mean?

( B L A N K FA C E S A G A I N )

We ’ v e g o t t o b e m o r e i n t e r a c t i v e y e a h ? A f t e r a l l , t h e r e ’ s n o ‘ I ’ i n t h e
word team is there?

( G L A N C E S R O U N D F O R N O D S O F A G R E E M E N T, I N S T E A D G E T S
QUIZZICAL LOOKS).
Listen,

(POINTING TO HIMSELF)

David Brent may be the hands that tell the time to head office, yeah? But
you lot

( G E S T U R E S A S I F T O I N D I C AT E E V E R Y O N E )

are all parts of the mechanism that go towards telling that time yeah?
Yo u a l l h a v e a r o l e t o p l a y.

( W E S E E T I M ’ S FA C E E X P R E S S I N G A N A U S E O U S L O O K )

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 6 The Office: The Staff Meeting

O K . Te l l y o u w h a t , l e t ’ s t r e a t t o d a y a s a n e x p e r i m e n t . A c h a n c e t o g e t a l l
our ducks in a row yeah? Create a better synergy?

TIM:

(LOOKING PERPLEXED)

Yo u O K ?

D AV I D :
Ye s I ’ m f i n e t h a n k s w h y ?

TIM
No, I was just wondering if you were planning on using cliches
throughout the meeting or just getting them all out at the start.

D AV I D :
I t ’s c a l l e d m a n a g i n g t h e d y n a m i c s o f t h e w o r k p l a c e . W h e n y o u ’ v e b e e n
o n t h e c o u r s e Ti m , f e e l f r e e t o c o m e b a c k a n d c r i t i c i s e , u n t i l t h e n , g i v e
it a rest yeah? If you listen you may just learn something. OK, moving
s w i f t l y o n , l e t ’ s g e t s t a r t e d . We ’ l l t r y t o k e e p i t b r i e f , a l t h o u g h , a s y o u
know

( H I S FA C E L I G H T E N S AT T H E M E M O R Y )

I have just come back from the company conference in Amsterdam

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 7 The Office: The Staff Meeting

( PA U S E S , G L A N C E S R O U N D WA I T I N G F O R C O M M E N T S , S M I L E S A
S O RT O F “ I ’ V E B E E N A N A U G H T Y B O Y ” S M I L E )

It was a bit of a ‘mind shower’, the old grey matter took a bit of a
pounding – and I used my brain a bit as well! There are a few points to
get through – no, don’t go there

(HE NUDGES MALCOLM, LAUGHS AND GIVES THEM ALL ANOTHER

S M A R M Y “ G U E S S W H AT I ’ V E B E E N U P T O ” LOOK)

N o w, y o u ’ v e a l l g o t y o u r a g e n d a s

(HOLDS UP AGENDA)

M y r i g h t h a n d m a n G a r e t h w i l l b e t a k i n g t h e m i n u t e s . Yo u a r e r i g h t
handed aren’t you Gareth?

GARETH:

(WHISPERING)

Yo u s a i d y o u w e r e g o i n g t o i n t r o d u c e m e a s A s s i s t a n t R e g i o n a l M a n a g e r .

D AV I D :

( U N D E R H I S B R E AT H ) )

A s s i s t a n t t o t h e R e g i o n a l M a n a g e r. I f o r g o t .

(THEN, OUT LOUD)

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 8 The Office: The Staff Meeting

N o w, b e f o r e w e s t a r t h a s a n y o n e g o t a n y m o r e p o i n t s t h e y w a n t t o
include or any questions?

(MALCOLM RAISES HIS HAND)

Ye s M a l c o l m .

MALCOLM:
David. Can I just ask why these meetings have to be held at 8.30 when
we don’t start work until 9? Why can’t they be after work or during
office hours? Down in the warehouse they have their meetings during the
day in company time. Why can’t we, or maybe after work rather than
before. Some of us have long journeys?

D AV I D :
I ’ l l t e l l y o u w h y. W i n d o w s o f o p p o r t u n i t y y e a h ? C u s t o m e r s y e a h ? I f t h e
phone rings at 10 o’clock and you’re not there to answer it, what are
they going to think. ‘Oh, Malcolm doesn’t care about my business.
M a y b e I ’ l l t a k e m y b u s i n e s s s o m e w h e r e e l s e ’ . Ye a h ? A l s o , i f i t w a s a f t e r
w o r k i t w o u l d n e v e r h a p p e n w o u l d i t ? Yo u l o t

( G E S T U R E S T O WA R D S A C C O U N T S )

are out the door like shit off a shovel come 5 o’clock. Am I right?

( W I N K S . W E S E E M A L C O L M ’ S FA C E S TA R I N G D A G G E R S AT H I M )

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 9 The Office: The Staff Meeting

Course I am. If we go the extra mile, if we have a game plan, we can

o n l y h a v e a w i n - w i n s i t u a t i o n . Yo u a l l w a n t t o b e w i n n e r s d o n ’ t y o u ?

( G L A N C E S A R O U N D , S E E S L O N G FA C E S ) )

Ye a h ? A l r i g h t y, l e t ’ s s t a r t . A m s t e r d a m .

(LOOKS SMARMY AGAIN)

T h e o f f i c i a l s t u f f ! We ’ l l c o m e o n t o t h e u n o f f i c i a l s t u f f l a t e r - y o u c a n
always twist my arm if you buy me a pint!

(WINKS AND NUDGES KAREN)

N o , s e r i o u s l y, w e d i d g e t s o m e w o r k d o n e ! T h e b o a r d a n d s e v e r a l o t h e r
k e y e m p l o y e e s i n t h e u p p e r e c h e l o n s , i n c l u d i n g y o u r s t r u l y,

( C L E A R LY R E F E R R I N G T O N O T E S A N D R E A D I N G A P R E - P R E PA R E D
PHRASE)

took a helicopter view of the business and decided that the key objective
in Q4 is to introduce service level agreements for all our customers,
thereby ensuring we aggressively retain them as clients.

GARETH:
Chinook was it?

D AV I D :
What?

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 10 The Office: The Staff Meeting

GARETH:
T h e h e l i c o p t e r, w as i t a C h i n o o k ? L i k e a b i g p e o p l e c a r r i e r h e l i c o p t e r,
n o t a t w o s e a t e r . A r m y u s e t h e m . A n d t h e N a v y. T h i n k t h e R A F m i g h t
too.

D AV I D :
N o , w e t o o k a h e l i c o p t e r v i e w o f t h e b u s i n e s s . We d i d n ’ t a c t u a l l y g o i n a
h e l i c o p t e r.

TIM:
(PUZZLED LOOK)

Come again?

D AV I D :
Which part don’t you understand? I’ll read it again.

( R E F E R S T O H I S N O T E S A N D R E A D S O U T T H E S TAT E M E N T A G A I N ) )

‘we took a helicopter view of the business and decided that the key
objective in Q4 is to introduce service..

(TIM INTERRUPTS)

TIM:
Ye a h , I h e a r d i t , w e a l l h e a r d i t , b u t w h a t d o e s i t m e a n ? W h a t ’ s a
helicopter view? And Q4?

D AV I D :

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 11 The Office: The Staff Meeting

T h e f o u r t h q u a r t e r o f t h e y e a r. H e l i c o p t e r v i e w i s a n o v e r v i e w o f t h e
business.

MALCOLM:
So why not say ‘the fourth quarter and an overview then’?

D AV I D :

( A H U R T L O O K O N H I S FA C E )

L i s t e n , I ’ m j u s t t h e m e s s e n g e r. D o n ’ t s h o o t m e . I f y o u w a n t t o s h o o t
a n y o n e , s h o o t y o u r m a t e t h e F i n a n c e D i r e c t o r. H e w r o t e t h i s , n o t m e .

TIM:
OK. Service level agreements then?

D AV I D :
What about them?

TIM:
E x a c t l y. T h a t ’ s w h a t I ’ m a s k i n g . W h a t a r e t h e y ?

D AV I D :
Oh, right.

( H E I S S T I L L C L E A R LY R E A D I N G A P R E PA R E D S TAT E M E N T ) )

Ye s , e r , w e l l , t h e d a y s o f a f i r m h a n d s h a k e o v e r a p i n t o f b e e r a r e o v e r .
B u s i n e s s r e l a t i o n s h i p s h a v e m o v e d o n t o a h i g h e r p l a i n . We n e e d t o m o v e

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 12 The Office: The Staff Meeting

w i t h t h e t i m e s y e a h ? P r o a c t i v e n o t r e a c t i v e . R e s u l t s d r i v e n . L e a n e r,
m e a n e r We . .

(GARETH BUTTS IN)

GARETH:
What about you and Finchy then?

D AV I D :
We l l t h a t ’ s d i f f e r e n t . We a r e o n a d i f f e r e n t p l a i n t o t h a t h i g h e r p l a i n .
We ’ r e m a t e s , m e a n d F i n c h y ( s m i l i n g , g l a n c e s r o u n d f o r a g r e e m e n t o n c e
more, doesn’t get any). Finchy isn’t going to move his business
anywhere.

GARETH:
Who is then?

D AV I D :
We l l t h a t ’ s t h e p o i n t . N o o n e i f w e a l l p u l l t o g e t h e r . N o ‘ I ’ i n t e a m ,
remember?

( P O I N T I N G B A C K WA R D S )

E a r l i e r ? W h e n I s a i d ? N o ? N e v e r m i n d . S o , a n y w a y, w h a t I ’ d l i k e i s f o r
all of you who are customer facing to go away and prepare a service
level agreement for each of your customers. So for example Gareth and
Ti m y o u m i g h t p u t d o w n t h a t y o u p r o m i s e t o a n s w e r t h e p h o n e i n t h r e e
r i n g s o r t o r e t u r n c a l l s w i t h i n 2 h o u r s s a y. .

(GARETH INTERRUPTS AGAIN)

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 13 The Office: The Staff Meeting

GARETH:
Ye a h b u t I a l r e a d y d o t h a t .

D AV I D :
I was just painting a picture. It was just an example. But there you go
then, you’re halfway there aren’t you? Just write it down and give it
y o u r c u s t o m e r s . B u t r u n i t b y m e f i r s t y e a h ? J u s t i n c a s e . I t ’s a l e a r n i n g
opportunity yeah, not a problem.

TIM:
H a n g o n a m i n u t e . T h i s i s b o l l o c k s . I m e a n i f a c u s t o m e r t h i n k s G a r e t h ’s
a wanker

( G E S T U R E S T O WA R D S G A R E T H )

No offence Gareth

GARETH:
None taken

TIM:
Then what difference is a bit of paper saying Gareth isn’t going to let
t h e p h o n e r i n g , o r t h a t h e ’s g o i n g t o b e p o l i t e t o t h e m a t a l l t i m e s m a k e ?

D AV I D :
A h ! Ye s , b u t l e t ’ s s a y t h a t t h e c u s t o m e r t h i n k s G a r e t h i s a w a n k e r w h e n
r e a l l y h e ’s n o t .

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 14 The Office: The Staff Meeting

TIM:

(CONFUSED)

What???

D AV I D :

( P O I N T I N G AT G A R E T H )

We l l , G a r e t h , t h e “ w a n - k e r “

( E M P H A S I S E S T H E W O R D ‘ WA N K E R ’ B Y M A K I N G S P E E C H M A R K S
W I T H H I S F I N G E R S A S H E S AY S I T. W E S E E G A R E T H L O O K I N G
EMBARRASSED)

gives them a service level agreement with all these points on it, they
look at it and think,

( E X A G G E R AT E S T H E N E X T S TAT E M E N T ) )

‘Oh, maybe I misjudged him. Maybe if we’d had an SLA in place before,
I might not have thought that he was a wanker’ yeah?

GARETH:

( U N C O N V I N C I N G LY )

I ’ m n o t a w a n k e r.

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 15 The Office: The Staff Meeting

D AV I D :
Ye s , I k n o w t h a t , b u t d o y o u r c u s t o m e r s ?

( G A R E T H L O O K S AWAY I N T O S PA C E T H I N K I N G , B U T D O E S N ’ T
R E P LY )

Yo u s e e ? N o t s o s u r e a r e y o u ? S o , g e t a n S L A i n p l a c e , h e y p r e s t o .
P r o b l e m s o l v e d . J o b d o n e . N o w, i f I c a n h a v e t h o s e f r o m y o u b y t h e e n d
of this week?

TIM:
SLA?

D AV I D :
Ye s . S e r v i c e L e v e l A g r e e m e n t . S L A . T h e b o t t o m l i n e i s w e n e e d t o b e
more quality driven, more out there yeah?

KEITH:
David. What should I put on mine?

D AV I D :
Yo u t e l l m e , y o u ’ r e t h e a c c o u n t a n t

(SMARMY SMILE, GLANCES ROUND FOR LAUGHS)

I d o n ’ t k n o w. T h a t y o u ’ l l p a y y o u r b i l l s o n t i m e ? T h a t y o u w o n ’ t s e n d
the boys round with baseball bats to repossess their furniture if our
customers don’t pay?

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 16 The Office: The Staff Meeting

KEITH:
Oh come on David, be serious.

D AV I D :
I told you, I’m just the messenger yeah? I’ve just spent 4 days in
Amsterdam being serious. No weekend for David Brent last weekend,
well apart from the Saturday night. No, I was out there, fighting your
c o r n e r . I f y o u ’ v e g o t a p r o b l e m , c a l l D o u g i n h e a d o f f i c e . Ta l k i t
t h r o u g h . T h e ‘ b i g m e c h a n i s m ’ y e a h ? H e ’ s a v a l u a b l e k n o w l e d g e b a s e . Ta p
into it.

(KEITH LOOKS BEMUSED).

TIM:
What does aggressively retaining clients mean?

D AV I D :
What?

TIM:
Yo u s a i d s o m e t h i n g a b o u t a g g r e s s i v e l y r e t a i n i n g c l i e n t s ? D o e s t h a t m e a n
we’ve got to get them in a head lock or something? Go down their offices
and tie them to their chair?

D AV I D :
N o , d o n ’ t b e s i l l y. C o u r s e n o t . I t m e a n s w e j u s t h a v e t o p u t a f e w
processes into place to ensure that we continue to focus on our core
business.

TIM:

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 17 The Office: The Staff Meeting

What???

D AV I D :
Look, just do your service level agreement. Let me put the ticks in
boxes, dot the i's & cross the t's OK? I’m on your side yeah? Oh and
before I forget, you two

( P O I N T S AT G A R E T H A N D T I M )

the dynamic duo, are getting new job titles and descriptions.

GARETH:
O h ? W h a t ’s a l l t h a t a b o u t t h e n ?

D AV I D :
We l l t h e r e ’ s g o i n g t o b e n o m o r e s a l e s e x e c u t i v e s . T h a t t i t l e i s o f f i c i a l l y
redundant. From now you’re going to be called relationship managers.

GARETH:
Wi l l I b e s e n i o r r e l a t i o n s h i p m a n a g e r ?

D AV I D :
We l l , a t p r e s e n t t h e r e a r e n o g r a d a t i o n s o f r e l a t i o n s h i p m a n a g e r .

GARETH:
But I’ll still be your number two will I?

TIM:

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 18 The Office: The Staff Meeting

W h a t ’s t h e d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n a r e l a t i o n s h i p m a n a g e r a n d a S a l e s
Executive?

D AV I D :
I don’t know yet. Give me a chance. I haven’t had the job description
and the organigram back from head office yet.

TIM:
So why the change?

D AV I D :
We l l , i n e s s e n c e , w i t h a n y f o r w a r d l o o k i n g c o m p a n y t h a t w a n t s t o m o v e
onwards and upwards there has to be change doesn’t there? Per se, we
were kicking around a few ideas in Amsterdam and came up with
R e l a t i o n s h i p M a n a g e r s . A c t u a l l y i t w a s m y i d e a b u t t h a t ’s n o t i m p o r t a n t .

TIM:
B u t I d o n ’ t s e e t h e p o i n t o f t h a t c h a n g e , i f i t ’s j u s t a j o b t i t l e .

D AV I D :
We l l I t h i n k I ’ d p r e f e r t o b e c a l l e d a m a n a g e r r a t h e r t h a n a n e x e c u t i v e
wouldn’t you?

(GIVES A SMARMY SMILE ONCE AGAIN, LOKS ROUND THE ROOM

FOR AGREEMENT)

Te l l y o u w h a t , l e t ’ s w a i t t i l w e g e t t h e j o b d e s c r i p t i o n s , c o v e r t h e w h o l e
idea in Bovril and see if the puppies, viv a vis, you and Gareth, will lick
it, yeah?

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 19 The Office: The Staff Meeting

( T I M A N D G A R E T H L O O K M Y S T I F I E D . T H E R E I S A S L I G H T PA U S E )

GARETH:
Ye a h , w e l l I ’ m t h e s e n i o r p u p p y a n y w a y s .

D AV I D :
A l r i g h t y. M o v i n g s w i f t l y o n . T h e n e x t i t e m o n t h e a g e n d a i s C h r i s t m a s .
H o o r a y ! T h e p a r t y s e a s o n . We a l l l o v e a p a r t y e h ? O p p o r t u n i t y t o l e t
your hair down Malcolm?

(ANOTHER SMARMY SMILE. WE SEE MALCOLM’S EXPRESSIONLESS

FA C E . H E I S N O T A M U S E D )

T h i s y e a r, o w i n g t o a s l i g h t d ow n t u r n i n p r o f i t s , t h e c o m p a n y h a s a g r e e d
to pay £10 towards each member of staff attending a Christmas function
of our own choosing.

( C O L L E C T I V E S I G H S A N D C R I E S O F “ W H AT ? T E N P O U N D S ? ’ )

Ye s I k n o w i t ’ s n o t a l o t , b u t I t e l l y o u w h a t . E v e r y t e n p o u n d s t h e y p u t
in, I’ll put in two out of my own pocket.

( H E PA U S E S F O R T H A N K S . N O N E C O M E S )

W h a t y o u l o t h a v e t o d e c i d e i s w h e r e a n d w h e n t o h a v e i t . S o , W h o ’s
going to be social secretary?

DONNA:
W h a t ’s a s o c i a l s e c r e t a r y ?

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 20 The Office: The Staff Meeting

D AV I D :
The organiser? Decides where we’re going? Collects the money? OK, so
any volunteers?

(GLANCES ROUND. NO ONE OFFERS)

N o o f f e r s ? C o m e o n , d o n ’ t b e s h y. N o ? O K , I ’ l l s t a r t b y n o m i n a t i n g
Gareth

( W E S E E G A R E T H S M I L I N G A N D G R O W I N G I N S TAT U R E AT H AV I N G
B E E N N O M I N AT E D )

TIM:
N o w a y. N o t G a r e t h . We ’ d e n d u p h a v i n g o u r p a r t y i n t h e N A A A F I o r
something.

GARETH:

( C U R S O R Y G L A N C E AT T I M )

S t u p i d . A n y w a y, I ’ v e h a d s o m e v e r y g o o d p a r t i e s i n t h e N A A F I . I ’ v e s e e n
things that would make your hair curl at some of those parties.

TIM:
What, like getting your balls blackened with boot polish.

GARETH:
No. Clever clogs.

( PA U S E )

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 21 The Office: The Staff Meeting

It wasn’t black, it was brown actually

(WE HEAR EMBARRASSED LAUGHTER. GARETH SLUMPS BACK

D O W N I N T O H I S S E AT A G A I N ) .

D AV I D :
S o d o y o u w a n t t o d o i t Ti m ?

TIM:
N o , b u t I n o m i n a t e D a w n . S h e ’s a g o o d o r g a n i s e r.

D AW N :

( F L AT T E R E D . L O O K I N G T O WA R D S T I M )

T h a n k s Ti m .

TIM:

(SMILING)

T h a t ’s a l r i g h t .

D AV I D :
So, Dawn, will you do it?

D AW N :
What, on my own?

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 22 The Office: The Staff Meeting

D AV I D :
D o n ’ t b e s i l l y, n o , n o t o n y o u r o w n .

D AW N :
We l l , w h o w i t h t h e n ?

D AV I D :
We l l a l r i g h t , o n y o u r o w n , b u t a f t e r w e ’ v e d e c i d e d w h e r e w e a r e g o i n g .

D AW N :
I thought you said the organiser decided where we are going?

D AV I D :
Ye s , b u t o n l y a f t e r t h e c o m m i t t e e h a v e v o t e d o n i t .

D AW N :
What committee?

D AV I D :

(GESTURING AROUND THE ROOM)

Us lot!

D AW N :
O h , I ’ m c o n f u s e d n o w.

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 23 The Office: The Staff Meeting

D AV I D :
I t ’ s q u i t e s i m p l e . Yo u o f f e r t o b e s o c i a l s e c r e t a r y, w e ’ l l h a v e a q u i c k
chat now about where we want to go and then you’ll book it and collect
the money yes?

D AW N :
We l l w h y d i d n ’ t y o u s a y t h a t i n t h e f i r s t p l a c e ?

D AV I D :
I did.

D AW N :
No, you didn’t.

GARETH:
( F R A N T I C A L LY L O O K I N G B A C K T H R O U G H H I S M I N U T E S )

No you didn’t say that. I’ve got evidence. I’d have written it down
otherwise.

D AV I D :
OK, well I’ve said it now yeah? Now can we discuss where we want to go
please? A few pointers to start. Should it be a lunch? Should it be after
work? Should it just be us or should we invite other departments?

MALCOLM:
We l l I d o n ’ t k n o w a b o u t o t h e r s , b u t I w o u l d p r e f e r a l u n c h t i m e m y s e l f

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 24 The Office: The Staff Meeting

( G L A N C E S A R O U N D F O R M O R A L S U P P O RT, D O E S N ’ T G E T A N Y )

TIM:
B u t i f i t ’s a l u n c h t i m e t h a t m e a n s w e ’ l l b e s t u f f e d f o r t i m e w o u l d n ’ t w e
and

( S A R C A S T I C A L LY )

what about our customers and the ringing phones?

D AV I D :
O K , l e t ’s t a k e a r a i n c h e c k o n t h e l u n c h t i m e i d e a . I t h i n k a n e v e n i n g ’s
b e t t e r . I t ’ s b e t t e r f o r F i n c h y a n y w a y.

KAREN:
Oh marvellous, you’ve invited Finchy even though we haven’t decided
when and where we are going?

D AV I D :

( G L A N C I N G A R O U N D , S M I L I N G T H AT S M A R M Y S M I L E , L O O K I N G
F O R S Y M PAT H Y ) .

Yo u ’ v e g o t t o i n v i t e F i n c h y h a v e n ’ t y o u ? H e ’ s t h e l i f e a n d s o u l . Yo u
c a n ’ t h a v e a p a r t y w i t h o u t F i n c h y.

TIM:
So does that mean we’re all inviting partners then?

D AV I D :

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 25 The Office: The Staff Meeting

(MOCK HORROR)

F i n c h y ’s n o t m y b o y f r i e n d Ti m . I ’ m n o t g a y

( S M I L E S A N D W I N K S AT K A R E N )

F i r m h a n d s h a k e s a n d p i n t s o f b e e r . T h a t ’ s m e a n d F i n c h y. N o t t h a t I ’ v e
g o t a n y t h i n g a g a i n s t g a y p e o p l e . B l o k e i n a p u b o n c e s a i d t o m e ‘ Yo u
know what would fit nicely into the small of your back – my stomach’ I
c o u l d h a v e h i t h i m b u t I d i d n ’ t , I l a u g h e d w i t h h i m . Yo u ’ v e g o t b e P C
these days.

TIM:
We l l i f y o u ’ r e i n v i t i n g F i n c h y, t h e n c a n w e a l l b r i n g s o m e o n e ?

D AV I D :
Like who?

TIM:
I don’t know yet. I haven’t thought about it. I’m just asking.

GARETH:

( M O C K I N G LY )

Ye a h , w h o k n o w s , y o u m i g h t g e t a g i r l f r i e n d b e f o r e C h r i s t m a s . I ’ l l w r i t e
down that you can bring her if you like. Make it official.

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 26 The Office: The Staff Meeting

TIM:
H a r k a t M i s t e r L a d y k i l l e r. I n f a c t , c o m e t o t h i n k o f i t , y o u p r o b a b l y a r e
a l a d y k i l l e r. W h e r e d i d y o u b u r y t h e m ?

GARETH:
Ve r y f u n n y - n o t ! I g e t m y s h a r e .

D AV I D :
C o m e o n , t i m e ’s m o v i n g o n . S o , w e a l l a g r e e t h e n . A n e v e n i n g d o .
Where?

KEITH:
How about that nice Italian wine bar opposite the cinema?

GARETH:
What? Italian? At Christmas? Oh yeah, very traditional.

KEITH:
OK, you think of somewhere”

GARETH:
L o c a l p u b . I t ’s c h e a p , i t ’s c o n v e n i e n t a n d i t ’s B r i t i s h , j u s t l i k e C h r i s t m a s
should be. If the company is chipping in a tenner I reckon we could get rat
arsed and it wouldn’t cost us much more than a fiver each tops. Four quid if
you include the bosses contribution.

JOAN:

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 27 The Office: The Staff Meeting

P u b ’ s a r e t o o s m o k y. A n y w a y i t ’ s C h r i s t m a s . We c a n g o d o w n t h e p u b a n y
d a y o f t h e y e a r.

TIM:
Ye a h c o m e o n G a r e t h , u s e s o m e i m a g i n a t i o n .

( S A R C A S T I C A L LY, W H I L S T L O O K I N G AT D AV I D )

Think outside the box!

GARETH:
W h a t ? I t ’s S l o u g h w e ’ r e t a l k i n g a b o u t h e r e r e m e m b e r.

(SCENE ENDS)
S C E N E 3 . I N T. D AY -
TRAINING/MEETING ROOM

(WE REJOIN THE MEETING, STILL IN PROGRESS SOME MINUTES

L AT E R . T E M P E R S A R E G E T T I N G S L I G H T LY F R AY E D O V E R T H E
CHRISTMAS ARRANGEMENTS)

MALCOLM:
W h a t a b o u t t h a t p l a c e i n t h e H i g h S t r e e t , w h a t ’s i t c a l l e d ? D o e s a l l s o r t s .
English, French?

D AV I D :
W h a t ? T h e r e ? Yo u ’ r e n o t s e r i o u s a r e y o u . M e a n d F i n c h y g o t c h u c k e d o u t o f
there last time for ogling the waitress?

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 28 The Office: The Staff Meeting

TIM:
Chucked out for ogling?

D AV I D :

(SMARMY AGAIN)

Yo u h a v e n ’ t s e e n h o w F i n c h y o g l e s ! O n s e c o n d t h o u g h t s , y e s y o u h a v e !

( W I N K S A N D N O D S S U G G E S T I V E LY )

Now you know why we got chucked out then don’t you?

( M O R E S M A R M A S H E G L A N C E S R O U N D T H E R O O M F O R A P P R O VA L )

SANJ:
It doesn’t have to be in Slough. My wife and I went to a very nice place the
o t h e r n i g h t i n Ta p l o w , o u t n e a r M a i d e n h e a d .

ADRIAN:
Ta p l o w ? T h a t ’ s m i l e s a w a y. Yo u m a y c o m e f r o m r o u n d t h e r e , b u t I l i v e i n
We s t L o n d o n . I ’ m n o t t r a p s i n g a l l t h e w a y o v e r t o Ta p l o w t o s p e n d a n
evening with you lot.

CARL:
T h e r e ’s t h i s g r e a t r e s t a u r a n t j u s t o u t s i d e S l o u g h . I g o t o a l o t . L o v e l y
p l a c e . Ve r y r e a s o n a b l e . D o e s a l l s o r t s . I k n o w t h e M a n a g e r .

D AV I D :
What do you call reasonable?

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 29 The Office: The Staff Meeting

CARL:
About fiteen pounds a head?

D AV I D :

(LAUGHING AND GLANCING ROUND AGAIN, LOOKING FOR OTHER TO

JOIN IN AS HE RIDICULES THE IDEA)

F i f t e e n q u i d ? T h e r e m u s t b e s o m e t h i n g w r o n g w i t h i t t h e n . T h e w a r ’s o v e r
y o u k n o w . E v e n o u t i n Ta p l o w !

CARL:
No, its..

GARETH:
I k n o w. T h a t w i n e b a r w h e r e w e w e n t w i t h F i n c h y l a s t w e e k . W h a t ’s i t
called? I saw a board up saying they were doing bookings for Christmas.

D AV I D :
Ye a h ! F i n o ’ s . O o o h s o m e t o p t o t t y i n t h e r e .

TIM:

( R E S I G N E D LY )

T h e r e y o u g o . F i n o ’ s i t i s t h e n . Wo u l d F i n c h y l i k e t o b e s o c i a l s e c r e t a r y a s
well by any chance?

D AV I D :

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 30 The Office: The Staff Meeting

O i , c h e e k y. T h a t ’ s a b i t b e l o w t h e b e l t . Yo u ’ r e q u i c k t o m o c k b u t I n o t i c e
you haven’t suggested a venue yet.

TIM:
Actually I was thinking of just putting my money in the kitty and buggering
off down the pub on the day to get pissed.

MALCOLM:
I know how you feel.

D AV I D :
O h c o m e o n , w h e r e ’ s y o u r t e a m s p i r i t . We ’ r e a t e a m r e m e m b e r ?

TIM:
S o r r y, I ’ m a …

( E X A G G E R AT E S T H E E M P H A S I S )

… ‘ s e l f - s t a r t e r ’ . S e r i o u s l y, W h a t s p i r i t ? C o m e o n , g e t r e a l . N o o n e c a n
a g r e e w h e r e w e s h o u l d g o . We ’ l l j u s t e n d u p r o w i n g a n d g o i n g r o u n d i n
c i r c l e s . I t ’ s m e a n t t o b e C h r i s t m a s f o r G o d ’ s s a k e . A t i m e o f j o y, h a p p i n e s s
and peace to all men.

GARETH:
And women

D AV I D :
Point taken. OK Dawn, I’ll tell you what we’ll do. I’ve got to move on or
I ’ l l m i s s m y 1 0 . 3 0 . Ta k e s u g g e s t i o n s f r o m e v e r y o n e a f t e r t h e m e e t i n g a n d

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 31 The Office: The Staff Meeting

w e ’ l l r e v i s i t i t l a t e r. H a v e a s o r t o f s e c r e t b a l l o t . N o a r g u m e n t s . I n t h e
e v e n t o f a t i e t h e j u d g e ’s d e c i s i o n i s f i n a l .

D AW N :
O K . I v o t e f o r. .

D AV I D :
N o , n o t n o w. C o l l e c t t h e s u g g e s t i o n s a n d w e ’ l l v o t e n e x t w e e k . B u t k e e p m e
i n t h e l o o p a l r i g h t ? To p b a n a n a ! N o w , A n y o t h e r b u s i n e s s ?

MALCOLM:
Ye s , I h a v e a n o t h e r i t e m . T h e l i g h t s i n t h e m e n ’ s t o i l e t s . W h e n a r e t h e y
going to be fixed.

D AV I D :
M a l c o l m , I ’ v e t o l d y o u . I t ’ s t h e s a m e f o r e v e r y o n e . We a l l g o f o r a d u m p .
We l l a c t u a l l y I w a i t u n t i l I g e t h o m e . Yo u n e v e r k n o w w h a t y o u m i g h t
catch off the seat with you lot.

(SMARMY SMILE AND LAUGHTER)

Only kidding. I’ll look into it. Not the toilet, getting the lights fixed. 
A c t u a l l y, n o , f o r g e t t h a t . I ’ v e g o t a b e t t e r i d e a . C a l l J o h n o n t h i s
extension

( H A N D S M A L C O L M A S C R A P O F PA P E R W I T H A N U M B E R O N I T )

and tell him the Brentmeister says when are you going to fix those
****ing lights in the gents toilets, OK? It helps to have contacts.

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 32 The Office: The Staff Meeting

(SMILES TO CAMERA, SCENE ENDS)

S C E N E 4 . I N T. D AY -
THE OFFICE.
STUDIO

( W E B R I E F LY S W I T C H T O A N E M P T Y O F F I C E W I T H T H E P H O N E S
R I N G I N G O N E V E RY D E S K A N D N O ONE THERE TO ANSWER THEM)

S C E N E 5 . I N T. D AY -
TRAINING/MEETING ROOM.
STUDIO

( A S W E R E J O I N T H E M E E T I N G A G A I N , D AV I D B R E N T I S L O O K I N G AT
H I S WAT C H A N D G E T T I N G S L I G H T LY A G I TAT E D B U T T R Y I N G T O
P O R T R AY A B O S S I N C O N T R O L )

TIM:
How about getting some more plants in the office. I read somewhere that
plants help introduce oxygen into the environment. Oxygen stimulates
the brain. Therefore, we’d be more productive.

D AV I D :
O h g r e a t ! Te l l y o u w h a t . T i m e s a r e h a r d , p r o f i t s a r e d o w n . L e t ’ s g o o u t
and spend a fortune on some greenery shall we? Listen, I read somewhere
that eating lots of spinach makes you strong, doesn’t mean I’ve got a
c u p b o a r d f u l l o f i t a t h o m e d o e s i t e h ? I d o n ’ t n e e d s p i n a c h a n y w a y. I ’ v e
always worked out anyway so I don’t need building up in the muscle
department. Feel that Karen.

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 33 The Office: The Staff Meeting

( D AV I D F L E X E S H I S A R M . K A R E N R E C O I L S )

I f y o u w a n t m o r e a i r, o p e n t h e w i n d o w.

ADRIAN:
Ta l k i n g o f a i r , w h e n i s s o m e t h i n g g o i n g t o b e d o n e a b o u t t h e a i r
c o n d i t i o n i n g ? S o m e d a y s i t ’s l i k e a b l o o d y f r i d g e i n h e r e a n d t h e n e x t i t s
boiling.

D AV I D :
Oh come on, its not that bad. Look on the bright side. At least we don’t
get a rainy season.

(MORE SMARMY LAUGHTER AND A WINK).

TIM:
E a s y f o r y o u t o s a y, y o u ’ v e g o t y o u r o w n o f f i c e , w h i l s t t h e r e s t o f u s
sweat or freeze.

D AV I D :
Listen I’ve sat in offices that are worse than our toilets in my time.
W h e n y o u ’ v e s p e n t q u i t e a s l o n g a s m e i n t h e p a p e r i n d u s t r y T i m o t h y,
then you’ll probably have your own office. And who knows, maybe a
flasher car than mine too.

GARETH:
That you pranged.

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 34 The Office: The Staff Meeting

D AV I D :
I did not prang it. Some old biddy went into the back of it at the lights.
B y t h e w a y, I d o n ’ t m e a n o l d b i d d y i n a d e t r i m e n t a l w a y. M y m u m ’ s a n
o l d b i d d y, s o ’ s m y d a d . M a l c o l m w h e n y o u r o n t h e p h o n e t o J o h n t e l l h i m
I told him to pull his finger out and sort the aircon out as well, alright?

MALCOLM:
David, are you sure we wouldn’t be better off going through the official
channels?

D AV I D :
I think you’ll find I am the official channel Malcolm, and you’ve just
b e e n t h r o u g h m e . W h o o p s , e a s y t i g e r ! Ta l k t o J o h n . H e ’ s a t o p b l o k e ,
friend of Sammy in the warehouse, he’ll get it sorted. Right, any other
business?

( D AV I D Q U I C K LY G L A N C E S R O U N D A N D I G N O R E S M A L C O L M A S H E
M A K E S A M O V E A S I F T O R A I S E A N O T H E R P O I N T B U T D AV I D
I G N O R E S H I M A N D C A R R I E S O N TA L K I N G )

N o ? A l r i g h t , m e e t i n g a d j o u r n e d . T h a n k s a l l f o r c o m i n g . L e t ’s g o d o i t
yeah? Shall we fix a date for the next..

( P E O P L E A R E O U T O F T H E I R S E AT S A N D S TA RT I N G T O F I LT E R AWAY
A S H E S P E A K S . H E G I V E S U P T R Y I N G T O F I X A N O T H E R D AT E )

D AV I D :
Right Gareth, I’ve got to fly or I’ll be late for my 10.30. I’ll see you
l a t e r. D o n ’ t f o r g e t t o w r i t e t h e m i n u t e s u p a n d g i v e a c o p y t o K a r e n O K ?

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 35 The Office: The Staff Meeting

GARETH:
Ye s s i r .

S C E N E 6 . I N T. D AY -
IN THE CORRIDOR AFTER THE MEETING.

( W E S E E P E O P L E WA L K I N G B A C K A L O N G A C O R R I D O R T O T H E I R
D E S K S A N D O V E R H E A R S N I P P E T S O F C O N V E R S AT I O N )

MALCOLM:

(TO A COLLEAGUE)

I t ’ s n o t j u s t t h e l i g h t s . S o m e o f t h e t a p s a r e b r o k e n t o o . Yo u c a n h a r d l y
see in there. The other day I swear I trod in..

TIM:

( T O D AW N )

S o w h a t ’s y o u r f o r e c a s t f o r Q 4 ?

D AW N :
Eh?

TIM:
O h , n o t h i n g . Yo u ’ d t h i n k t h e y c o u l d a f f o r d a f e w m o r e p l a n t s w o u l d n ’ t
you. David Brent goes swanning off to Amsterdam for a long weekend.
What do we get?

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 36 The Office: The Staff Meeting

SANJ:

(TO CARL)

I mean, I don’t think fifteen pounds is too cheap. And the food is very
good.

DONNA
Te n p o u n d s t h e y a r e p u t t i n g t o w a r d s C h r i s t m a s . Te n p o u n d s . T h e y t r e a t
us like dirt.

S C E N E 7 . I N T. D AY -
THE OFFICE. GARETH’S DESK.

( G A R E T H I S G L A N C I N G AT H I S N O T E S A N D T Y P I N G T H E M U P O N
HIS PC)

G A R E T H :   

I thought it was a very fruitful meeting.  A number of issue were 

discussed and, as the official minute taker I will of course type up a full 

report and keep it on file. Company records. Just in case.

S C E N E 8 . I N T. D AY -
MALCOLM’S DESK

(MALCOLM HAS JUST DIALLED THE NUMBER ON THE SCRAP OF

PA P E R D AV I D G AV E H I M )

MALCOLM:
Hello, its Malcolm from admin here. I’ve got a message from The
B r e n t m e i s t e r, h e s a y s w h e n a r e y o u g o i n g t o f i x t h o s e * * * * i n g l i g h t s i n

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 37 The Office: The Staff Meeting

the gents toilet and whilst you’re at it can you pull your finger out and
sort out the air conditioning.

MALCOLM:
I ’ m s o r r y ? We l l t h e r e ’ s n o n e e d f o r t h a t k i n d o f l a n g u a g e . L o o k J o h n ,
David Brent told me to call you, he said you would fix it.

( T H E R E ’ S A PA U S E W H I L S T T H E P E R S O N AT T H E O T H E R E N D
REPLIES)

J o h n ’s o f f s i c k ? W h o a r e y o u t h e n ?

( PA U S E )

A h ! O K , s o r r y t o b o t h e r y o u . Ye s I w i l l . N o , I ’ l l t e l l h i m . Ye s O K .

( M A L C O L M P U T S T H E P H O N E D O W N A N D S H E E P I S H LY L O O K S AT
THE CAMERA)

MALCOLM:
John’s off sick.

(SCENE ENDS)

S C E N E 8 . E X T. D AY -
BACK OF A CAB

( W E A R E I N A C A B W I T H D AV I D B R E N T O N H I S WAY T O H I S N E X T
M E E T I N G . H E I S L E A N I N G B A C K I N T H E S E AT, H A N D S B E H I N D H I S
H E A D . S M U G , R E L A X E D , S E L F - C O N F I D E N T, B U T H E I S T R Y I N G T O
H AV E T W O C O N V E R S AT I O N S AT T H E S A M E T I M E A S H E G I V E S T H E
DRIVER DIRECTIONS)

D AV I D :
Ye a h , t h a t w e n t w e l l I t h o u g h t . We s h o u l d i n t e r f a c e m o r e o f t e n . L e f t a t
the lights mate. Cheers. If you don’t, what happens? People get
d e m o t i v a t e d t h a t ’s w h a t . O h s o r r y m a t e , d i d I s a y l e f t ? I m e a n t r i g h t ?
Quick, do a U turn and go round the roundabout again, then take a right
at those lights. If you don’t take action, things get put on the

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
 Page 38 The Office: The Staff Meeting

b a c k b u r n e r . We r u n a t i g h t s h i p h e r e , b u t a h a p p y o n e . C a l l m e J o l l y
Roger if you like. OK, which roundabout is this? Bloody Bracknell, eh?
All the roundabouts look the same! Ah! Straight on here mate, second on
t h e l e f t , t h e r e d b r i c k b u i l d i n g . W h e r e w a s I ? O h y e s , J o l l y R o g e r. N o ,
on second thoughts, he was a pirate wasn’t he? Errol Flynn then, out of
o n e o f t h o s e o l d s w as h b u c k l i n g m o v i e s , y e a h t h a t ’ l l d o ! H e h a d t h e e r,
b i g e r, a p p e n d a g e d i d n ’t h e ?

(SMUG SMILE TO CAMERA)

N o , s e r i o u s l y, s o m e o f m y t e a m c o m e a c r o s s a t t i m e s a s b e i n g a b i t
m i s e r a b l e , b u t i t ’ s j u s t a b i t o f b a n t e r r e a l l y, a b i t o f a n a c t . I ’ m l i k e a
f a t h e r t o t h e m - o r a b r o t h e r. A f a m i l y f i g u r e a n y w a y - a n d t h e y a r e l i k e
the attention seeking child. Management eh? They all resent my success
but who’d want my job? Only kidding. I love it. Love it. How much is
that mate?

CAB DRIVER:
T h a t ’s s i x t e e n f i f t y p l e a s e .

D AV I D :
A l r i g h t , h e r e ’s s e v e n t e e n . I ’ m r u n n i n g a b i t l a t e , g i v e m e a b l a n k r e c e i p t
yeah? Cheers.

(TURNS TO C A M E R A A N D S M I L E S S H E E P I S H LY )

Yo u ’ r e n o t s t i l l f i l m i n g a r e y o u ?

THE END

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence
Page 39 The Office: The Staff Meeting

© Alasdair D Murray 2002 – in confidence