Sie sind auf Seite 1von 44

SYSTEM

SOCIAL
CHARM
HOW TO LEVEL UP YOUR SOCIAL
SKILLS, RELATIONSHIPS, AND
DATING LIFE, ESPECIALLY WITH
WOMEN IN ASIA
CONGRA
TULATI
ONS!
ou’ve just gotten yourself a that only my private clients get to hear
01
copy of what very well could (and they’ve paid me handsomely for it).
be the best information you If you’re wondering what is in the
can find on how to meet, mind of one of the world’s top dating
talk to, and date women in coaches, who’s been doing this for nearly a
Singapore, Asia and around decade... if you’re wondering what my best
the world. I’m not sure technique is and what I make sure I pass
how you found out about on to every student who passes through
me or Aura Transformation my supervision at the Academy, you’ll find
Academy... but I’m glad you went BOTH in this book.
ahead and purchased my book.
I don’t like making big promises or ABOUT THE AUTHOR
sweeping statements, but I am confident Before we begin, here’s a little bit about
of this... What you’re about to read can me. As one of the world’s top dating
change your life. coach and president and director of
You’re about to get some never- the biggest dating academy in Asia—
before-released information on dating Aura Transformation Academy, based in
women and some of my “greatest hits” Singapore—I provide proven solutions and
“I knew years ago that David had the practical guidance for men dating lives, and love lives;
potential to reach the level of the top and women on how to be and to deliver a total solution
social and how to succeed in for excellence in relationships
mentors and even beyond. And now love and life. and lifestyle.
he’s fulfilled all that and more! With I’ve lived in several When I was a lonely 29-
all his unique experiences and skills, countries on multiple year old graduate student,
he is totally going to dominate.” continents. Born in Taiwan, depressed over my failed
raised in North America, and marriage and completely
–CHRISTIAN HUDSON, FOUNDER OF THE SOCIAL MAN
now having lived or worked in clueless about dating and
many parts of Asia for over 15 socializing, I had the good
years, I have excelled at the fortune to be in a class with
highest levels of academic Christian Hudson, the co-
study of Asian culture, with founder of one of the largest
awards and fellowships from dating skills companies in
Harvard, Princeton, Michigan, the world at the time and
02
Toronto, McGill, as well who was then responsible
as national fellowship and for running much of its
research foundations. I then operations. He became my
proceeded to a tenure-track first mentor in the dating arts.
professorship at the National And I owe him a huge debt.
University of Singapore. My many mentors
I founded Aura taught dating skills to, well,
Transformation Academy to “ordinary” men. But when
empower men and women a life-long academic with a
throughout the world with Ph.D. in Asian culture and
the social skills, emotional philosophy appears with an
intelligence, and dating eager, deep desire to learn
strategies to find greater and grow, well... the results
happiness and fulfillment in were on a different level. I
life; to equip people with a dug deeper to understand
proven system for achieving not just “how” the various
success in their social lives, techniques, strategies,
and methods worked, but “WHY.” in Singapore, which, with almost no
I applied my specialized expertise advertising, is growing exponentially
in psychology, philosophy, culture, every year.
and other fields to breakdown and Having a Ph.D. doesn’t mean I’m
internalize the principles underlying a nerdy academic attempting to teach
social dynamic interactions and you dating and charisma. Instead,
relationships. Basically, I approached imagine a “Doctor” who hangs out at
the subject that way I did all my Ph.D. the top clubs in Singapore and all over
research. The outcome astounded Asia having the time of his life. And Having a Ph.D.
even me. imagine this “Doctor” studied dating doesn’t mean I’m
I was also lucky enough to count and relationships with as much tenacity a nerdy academic
many incredibly alpha Asian men living and thoroughness as he did his Ph.D.
attempting to teach
in Asia as my mentors. I traveled the and is now giving you the low-down in a
globe, training with some of the best short, easy-to-understand guide. you dating and
dating coaches around the world. And If that gets you excited to read this charisma.
03
I started to get really crazy results. book you just purchased, then good!
Eventually, this led to a flourishing That was the point. Approach each
consultancy, helping men and page and every minute you spend
women around the world from almost reading this with that same optimism
every continent succeed in dating and excitement, and you’ll definitely
and relationships. I’ve successfully learn a ton from these pages that you
coached clients from almost every can apply in your life right away.
continent and throughout Asia, Read it over again once you’re
especially in Singapore, China, Hong done. Absorb and assimilate the
Kong, Korea, Japan, Taiwan, Malaysia, teachings contained herein. Internalize
Thailand, Indonesia, Brunei, as well as them until they become a part of you,
many cities in the USA and Canada. for they are the keys to abundance and
In 2010, I resigned my full-time fulfillment in your dating and social life.
tenure-track professorship at the See you on the other side.
National University of Singapore to
follow my passion and found and Best,
direct Aura Transformation Academy David
THIS
EBOOK
CONTAINS ... 04

PART 1 PART 2
05 13
THE MINDSET: THE
THE RIGHT WAY “HOW TO”
TO THINK ABOUT
ATTRACTING
WOMEN
PART 1:
THE MINDSET:
THE RIGHT WAY
TO THINK ABOUT
05

ATTRACTING
WOMEN
or “How Aura Transformation
Academy Differs from the PUA
Industry”
he Better Way to Think
About Attracting 1. “PICK UP AS SPORT”
Women (or “How Aura
Transformation Academy First, the PUA industry approaches
Differs from the PUA the process of meeting, attracting,
Industry”) and dating women as a sport.
In the autumn of 2004, Neil PUAs compete with each
Strauss published The Game: other on how many or what
Penetrating the Secret Society percentage of women they can
of Pick Up Artists, which went on to become get numbers, kisses, or fuck-
a New York Times bestselling book for many closes from. They don’t treat
years. As recently as 2013, I found stacks of the women as human beings but
international version of this book piled up right as HB6’s (Hot Babe 6), UGs (Ugly
next to the cash register in a major bookstore in Girls), or pivots. They don’t really
Bangkok. care about her feelings, dreams, or
This book revealed a thriving online global uniqueness, except insofar as it helps them 06
community of men who had been sharing their get a “close” of some kind in the sport of pick
experiences and knowledge of how to “pick up. They constantly check their progress against
up” women, as well as the multi-million dollar other PUAs to see how well they’re doing in the
industry selling men coaching and products in sport of pick up, for example, whether they can
this industry. “consistently pick up an HB 6.537 on the street” or
In tackling the PUA (“pick up artist”) industry, go “five for five in clubs on an HB8-8.95” or how
I should clarify that within the broad spectrum many views, comments, or thumbs-up’s they’ve
of PUA teachers and teachings lie a lot of gotten on their lay reports on some random
contradictions and half-truths. It’s easy to poke online PUA forum.
holes in the teachings of the PUA industry. So Now do you understand why women find the
the points I make here are carefully selected to whole PUA thing so creepy and why emotionally
reflect the vast majority of PUA teachings. mature adults find it dehumanizing to women?
How is the PUA industry different from what The whole “pick up as sport” idea was actually
is offered at Aura Transformation Academy? created specifically to dehumanize women. Neil
Strauss explains in The Game that if you view your
interactions with women as if you were just playing
2. BEING GENUINE
At Aura, we place a premium on being genuine,
authentic, and real with people. After all, that’s the
only way in which real love can happen. Not from
seeing people as objects in some virtual reality
computer game, but actually opening
yourself up to getting to know and
becoming intimate with real,
individual, human women.
Notice that if you take
the “pick up as sport”
attitude, you’ll actually end
up with an extremely weak
framework for interpreting
social interactions (i.e.,
a “weak frame”). You’ll 7

a computer game, then your ego could never be tracking your closing
be hurt by rejection because if you see women percentages with women and
like targets in a video game, then every time you comparing your scores with other
get shot down, you can just hit the “continue” players instead of truly screening people to see
button and play again. No ego damage. No whether they’re worth
need to actually open yourself up to real people. getting to know.
Just see people as targets in a first-person This means that how good you feel about
shooter game, and hey, you don’t have to care yourself will still be dependent on how women
about what people think of you anymore. It makes treat you and what they think of you. Putting your
complete logical sense. If these people aren’t self-esteem at the mercy of others is placing your
really human beings, if they’re just objects in a happiness beyond your own control. And that is a
video game, then how can they hurt you? Problem recipe for depression and failure. The real issue
solved. Dehumanization begins. was never really resolved. You just learned how
That’s NOT how we approach social to run away from it.
interactions at Aura Transformation Academy. But if you view interacting with women as a
possible opportunity to connect with someone—if
she is up to your standards 3. PUAS AND SHAME
and worth your What’s a sure sign of a weak frame and an
attention—then you’ll immature boy?
be coming from He exhibits shame in approaching women.
a much stronger Many PUAs suffer from this shame.
framework, one They’re ashamed of what they’re learning
in which how you and doing in attempting to approach and attract
feel about yourself women. And that’s because deep down, they think
is not dependent they’re actually doing something ethically wrong.
on how others view They mask it with bravado and
you or treat you and comparing scores, but deep down-
one in which your self- there’s an inner conflict that will one
esteem and ego are not day rear its ugly head and refused
at the mercy of others. to be hidden again.
Instead, YOU are in the driver’s This is also why many
seat. You are the one who calls the shots. You are guys give up learning 08

the one in control of your own self-esteem. how to be better with


Because if you don’t view women as the mere women altogether. They
targets of some sport that you’re competing in with think that the only way to
other players, then you won’t need to get or take succeed with women is
anything from them to feel good about yourself. to go down a path that is
And finally, you can enjoy women for who against their values, rather
they truly are--real human beings with dreams, then encouraging them to
desires, and passions. You can face them without embrace their values even
fear because you are not dependent on them. more (which is what I am teaching
When you do that, when you adopt the Aura you here).
attitude of being genuine and authentic with
people, you’ll be amazed at how women are 4. TAKING VS. GIVING
easily drawn to you, gravitate to you, and open Do you know why the PUA guys feel like there’s
themselves up to you. That’s one of our secrets something unethical with what they’re doing?
to the tremendous successes we’ve had at Aura It’s because they have a “taking” mentality
Transformation Academy when it comes to women, showing that they think
they are of lower value than the woman. It’s What if the tables were turned? What
betrayed in their language: if you truly believed that you were of
equal value as the woman? Or even of
“Did you take her phone number?” higher value?
“Did you steal a kiss?” Because if you knew were actually of
“Did you get a date?” equal or higher value, you would speak
“Did you get to third base?” and act differently.
“Did you get sex from her?” All women around the world say that
the number one thing they look for in a man is
They think they’re “taking” something from CONFIDENCE.
her. And they feel like they’re taking something And that kind of attractive confidence comes
from the woman that she doesn’t want to give up. from the deeply rooted belief that when we interact
Why don’t PUAs say instead: with other people, we are actually adding value to
their lives. Their lives are better off for having met
“Did you give her your number?” us and interacted with us. Heck, our very presence
“Did you give her a kiss?” adds value to her life. 09
“Did you let her touch you?” Why?
“Did you give it up to her?” Because we are giving them what women
everywhere value the most: Good feelings and the
This is how hot girls talk. Why don’t PUAs opportunity to know a really amazing guy.
think this way? It’s because they have a “taking” They feel pleasure when we are around them.
mentality. And this pleasure is addictive. When you can
make her laugh at will, arouse her at will, make her
excited and happy when you’re around her, then
women will want to be around you more and more.
And they’ll miss you and obsess over you when
you’re not around. They’ll talk about you with their
other girlfriends. And those girlfriends will become
intrigued about you and want to meet you. And ...
well, you get the picture. That could be your life.
And that’s one of the most telling signs of a guy
who has a “giving” mentality. He knows he’s not
“taking” anything from to enjoy yourself in the
her. Instead, he’s giving presence of others and
her tremendous value. how to be sexy and
And this comes sexual in a way that
from the simple power maximizes pleasure
of expressing yourself for yourself and your
honestly, but in an partners.
attractive way. Unlike the PUA
You don’t have to be industry, at Aura, we
someone else to attract do not view women
her. After all, eventually, as a means to an end.
she will find out who you Women are not objects
really are. in a video game. Women
You can be your are not simply notches
most genuine, authentic on the bedpost to be
self... and still attract bragged about in some 10
women. Heck, when online forum. They aren’t
you master the proper just another number-
way to communicate close, kiss-close, or f*ck-
your genuine feelings close.
and thoughts to a Instead, view women
woman--one of our core as ends in themselves to
lessons at Aura--you’ll be enjoyed for who they
be absolutely irresistible are as unique individuals,
to women. They’ll be with their own dreams,
thinking about you and passions, and goals.
talking about you long If you learn to live
after you’re gone. fully in the present with
a woman and express All women around the world say
5. VALUE AND FUL- yourself genuinely and that the number one thing they look
FILLMENT authentically, with no for in a man is CONFIDENCE.
Rather, you learn how subterfuge or agenda,
Unlike the PUA industry, at
Aura, we do not teach how to
deceive or manipulate women. 11

then women will be drawn to you without even good feelings and adds value to her life by his
knowing why. very presence.
Women love us because we open ourselves At Aura, our members learn how to live lives
to them without fear, not hiding anything, and in full of love, pleasure, and happiness. And woman
turn, they open themselves fully to us. desperately want to be a part of that.
They make our lives better. And we make The point is not to toil away at beating another
their lives better. player at the sport of picking up chicks, checking
So when we approach a woman to get to off another number-close, club make-out, or notch
know her better and see where things may lead on the bedpost.
with her, we know that we are giving her a rare Rather, the point is to learn how to succeed
opportunity to meet an amazing guy, a man who in forming fulfilling experiences and relationships
can add exceptional value by giving her endless and truly making your life extraordinary.
WOMEN LOVE
US BECAUSE
WE OPEN
OURSELVES
TO THEM
WITHOUT FEAR,
NOT HIDING 12

ANYTHING,
AND IN TURN,
THEY OPEN
THEMSELVES
FULLY TO US.
13

PART 2:
THE
“HOW TO”
his 12-Step System, when
followed closely, will
practically guarantee you
spark attraction and get
girls wanting to meet up with
you. Even more importantly, it will give
you a deep understanding of social
intelligence and psychology, which
will enable you to get what you want,
not just from dating women, but from
any part of life that depends on social
charm, including making new friends,
professional networking, or just having
others think well of you and respect you.

The 12 Steps in the System are: 14

1 The Fundamentals.
2 The Attraction Mindset.
3 The Anxiety of Approaching.
4 Starting Conversations.
5 The Transition.
6 The V-I-B Model.
7 Screening.
We are all about
8 Qualifying. giving women good
9 Going from Platonic to Sexual. feelings and bringing
10 The Transition Revisited. value to other
11 Humor. people’s lives.
12 Exchanging Contacts.
1. THE FUNDAMENTALS 2. THE ATTRACTION MINDSET
Before I give you any lines, techniques, methods, Also, the most important mindset to have when
or “things to say,” I must remind you that when it you’re socializing is what I call the Attraction
comes to attraction and likeability, the words you Mindset.
say account for less than 10% of the result. It’s all The Attraction Mindset dictates that at least
in the delivery, your body language, eye contact, 90% of your mental processes are taken up with
vocal tonality, and most of all, your mindset during the following in this exact order:
the interaction.
HAVE FUN!
IF YOU PRESENT A GOOD IMAGE WITH
GOOD FASHION AND HAVE SOLID MAKE OTHERS HAVE FUN.
BODY LANGUAGE, TONALITY, EYE
CONTACT, AND THE RIGHT FRAME MAKE CONNECTIONS AND SEE IF
AND MINDSET, THEN YOU CAN SAY PEOPLE MEET YOUR STANDARDS.
JUST ABOUT ANYTHING AND CAN
ATTRACT A WOMAN. The remaining 10% of your mental processes can 15

be taken up with any techniques or strategies you


If you don’t present a good image with good are working on and handling logistics, such as where
fashion and don’t have solid body language, you are going to take her next or handling obstacles.
tonality, eye contact, and the right frame and If this is your first time attempting a cold
mindset, then even the best words probably will approach, you will probably forget the Attraction
not save you. Mindset, which is a horrible beginner’s mistake.
These are what I call “the fundamentals.” In my Just remember: Have FUN first and foremost.
new Limitless online training program, I provide an By “have fun,” I mean enjoy yourself. Have a smile
in-depth two-hour sequence of courses on Fashion on your face. Get in a fun mood first. That’s the
& Image led by our resident image specialists, a MOST IMPORTANT thing, far more important
two-hour course just on body language, a two- than what you say.
hour course focusing on eye contact and vocal
tonality, and over a dozen hours of courses on the 3. THE ANXIETY OF APPROACHING
right attitudes, frames, and mindsets. But since beginners always want to know what to
say, I’ll give you an excellent default opener.
First, you’ve got to get up is not a crime. In fact, it is actually a crime for a man
the courage to approach to physically assault you for simply speaking to a
that beautiful girl you woman. So modern law actually protects you when
see walking by. Feeling you strike up a conversation with a new woman.
nervousness or anxiety However, your caveman brain will still generate
at the thought of adrenaline in your body when you approach a
approaching and flirting stranger. Heck, my caveman brain makes my heart
with a woman you don’t race when I know I have to raise my hand and
know is incredibly common. speak up in a large university classroom. That’s
In fact, if you didn’t feel that just our evolutionary instincts kicking in.
way, you’re probably not human. Look at it another way though. Successful
Through the process of evolutionary people embrace the adrenaline rush that comes
adaptation, our caveman ancestors bequeathed from taking risks.
to us a brain that is programmed to hesitate Think of it this way: Hundreds of thousands of
before taking certain risks, such as approaching people every day around the world pay over $50
strange women for mating. Back in caveman each to enter an amusement park and ride roller- 16
days, if a man approached the wrong female, he coasters that scare the heck out of them. They
could be bludgeoned to death by her husband, actually pay good money to scare themselves.
brothers, or father who were just out of sight Actually, our brains can’t distinguish between
around the boulder. The cavemen who blithely the feeling of fear and adrenaline. It’s our
attempted to mate with any female he saw had interpretation of the context that makes
his genes eventually weeded out of existence. that feeling either pleasant or unpleasant.
There is about a 100,000 year lag between That feeling you get when the roller-
the evolutionary development of our physical coaster is slowly ascending up the
bodies and our environments. Life in the track to the very first drop is exactly the
modern world means that you’re mostly safe same feeling you get when you’re first
from these caveman risks. approaching a new woman.
Fortunately, in It’s just that the guys who are really good
The possibilities are There is about
modern cities like with women—the masters—have learned to a 100,000 year
endless... and easy to Singapore, merely love and anticipate that adrenaline high and lag between the
evolutionary
come up with. approaching and have trained themselves to feed off that feeling. development of our
physical bodies and
speaking with a woman If you want to learn how to eradicate our environments.
approach anxiety forever, my new online training museum, directions to a good sushi restaurant, or
program Limitless includes an entire three- even directions to the restroom.
hour Module on exactly that — how to conquer But you could also use almost anything in the
your approach anxiety, and even in fact, how to environment as your pretense.
turn your greatest weakness into your greatest If you’re in the pasta aisle at the grocery store,
strength. you could ask whether she knows which pasta
sauce mixes best with seafood.
4. THE OPENER: “DROP THE If you’re in the travel section of the bookstore,
PRETENSE” you could ask her if she’s been to the place on the
Also, the most important mindset to have when cover of the travel guide she’s skimming.
you’re socializing is what I call the Attraction If you’re in a clothing shop, you could ask
Mindset. her for her opinion on the accessories selection
Second, once you’ve walked over and gotten because you’re looking for a gift for your sister.
her attention, what should you say? The possibilities are endless... and easy to
Here I shall reveal to you the most versatile come up with.
opener known to man. Some masters use this The point of the pretense is just to break the 17
as their only default opener because it is THAT ice and get her to start talking...
effective. You can use it in ANY situation in which But... and here’s maybe one of only two tricky
you find yourself. parts...
I call it: “Drop the Pretense.” It’s easy and You have to interrupt her after 2-3 seconds.
simple to use. Anybody can learn it. Don’t interrupt her right away. Don’t interrupt
There are basically just two parts to the opener. her after 5 seconds; that’s too long. 2-3 seconds is
the sweet spot.
I. First, you need a pretense to begin the This means you can’t ask for directions to
conversation. This is usually some bit of a place that is right near you, or she will just
information that any civilized, mature human point, and you’re done. You also shouldn’t ask
being would be willing to offer you. For example, for directions to a place that is really far away, or
directions are a good one. If you’ve ever been a she’ll just give up and tell you to ask someone
tourist lost in a foreign country, you’ve probably else.
done this part before. You could ask directions So you should ask a question that would
to the Starbucks nearby where you are supposed prompt a response of at least 5 seconds, so
to meet your friend, directions to the nearby art that you can interrupt her after 2-3 seconds.
II. After she starts to answer your question, You (after 2-3 seconds): “Actually, I already
you interrupt her after 2-3 seconds with know where it is, haha. I just wanted to come
something like the following: over to talk with you ‘cause I thought you were
really cute.” (sheepish smile)
“Actually no, I don’t really need to know.” Her: Haha
“Actually, I already know.”
“Actually, I don’t really care.” It’s generally a good idea to get logistical
information right after this. Ordinarily, you should
This interruption will be completely stay away from boring questions. But in this case,
unexpected... And that’s what makes it funny. you can capitalize on her emotional high from the
Yes, funny. It is absolutely essential that she humor, as well as make yourself seem normal and
finds your interruption completely unexpected. not like a player, which can hurt your Believability
This is what makes it funny. (more on that later).
Make a girl laugh, and you’re well on your But, you only get one logistical question. You
way to getting more intimate with her. can ask something like the following:
18
III. Then follow up with your explanation. “So who are you here with?”
“I just wanted to come over to talk with you (if it’s in a social environment, like a bar or
‘cause I thought you were really cute,” followed nightclub)
by a sheepish smile.
You must not do this opener with a serious “So where are you headed?”
or straight face. It must be humorous, and your (if you’re on a city street or in a shopping mall)
smile must be sheepish, like you just got caught
playing a harmless prank. Or, you can ask something more pointed like:
Thus, putting it all together, you have:
“So how do you know the host?”
You: “Do you know where the Starbucks in (if you’re at a house party)
this mall is located? I’m supposed to meet a
friend there.” (Or whatever Pretense you’ve “So how are you connected with [XYZ
chosen.) company]?”
Her: [Her answer] (if you’re at a launch party or a networking
event)

You can only ask ONE such logistical
question after the opener. Do NOT get caught
up in a question train of boring questions!
Then you can riff off her answer to the
logistical question, or you can move on to your
Transition.

5. THE TRANSITION: FIRST PASS


Going by chronological order, the next thing
you’ll do is transition into your Screen, which I’ll
describe in the next section.
However, your transition will be largely
determined by the Screen you want to use. So
while chronologically speaking, the Transition
section should be here, I’m going to save the 19
explanation of Transitions until after I explain
how to Screen and Qualify.
1
Most models of attraction are linear, what I call “diachronic” models (dia
6. THE V-I-B MODEL as in the Greek, which means “through”). That is, they say how attraction is
built through time.
The technique I’m about to show you is
incredibly effective because it’s one of the only Diachronic models have a lot of limitations. One of the most salient is that
techniques that simultaneously increases all the life rarely proceeds exactly as planned, and this applies to flirting and fun
conversations. Diachronic models are just not flexible enough to take into
factors that account for sexual attraction. I need account the constantly changing circumstances of real life.
to acknowledge the influence and teaching of
If you must think in terms of a linear, diachronic model, keep it simple. My
my old friend, Sebastian Drake, for inspiration “A-B-C” linear model is as simple and effective as it gets. A-B-C stands for
on the V-I-B Model and for first teaching me the Approach-Build Believability/Pump Buying Temperature-Close.
basics of Screening & Qualifying.1
Synchronic models (syn from the Greek, which means “with”) are much more
V-I-B stands for Value-Investment-Believability, flexible and accurate. A good synchronic model enables you to analyze how
which are the three pillars of attraction. much attraction you have from a woman at any point in time.
How attracted a woman is to you at any Take any slice of time, say t3, and you can figure out how much attraction
given time, say t3, can be determined by you’re getting from a woman at t3 by simply using the synchronic model.
By the way, it’s fine
to be “friends” with a
woman. Women hook
up with their male
friends. Women marry
their male friends.
This is perfectly
normal.

20

analyzing how much Value, Investment, and ambition and industriousness, intelligence,
Believability you have at t3. physical strength and size, good health, and most
In my new online training program Limitless, of all, whether he can give her good feelings.
we have a two-hour course on Value, a four-hour There’s obviously a lot more to be said about this,
sequence of courses just on Investment, and a but I’ll leave it at that for now.
two-hour course on Believability. “Investment” refers to how much time
Simply put, “Value” here refers to how and effort a woman is putting into you, your
important the woman thinks you are, i.e., how relationship, and the interaction. Money can be
much she “values” you. a good gauge here, i.e., how much money she
According to the many studies in spends on you, because usually, it takes time and
evolutionary psychology, social psychology, effort for her to make money. But money is not
and neuropsychology, women generally value the only sign of time and effort. Again, much more
the following in men: economic capacity, social can be said here about Investment, including the
status, emotional maturity and intelligence, Cost-Worth connection and differing Investment
Scales, but this is enough to
get us started.
“Believability”
becomes the
determining issue
when you have your
fundamentals down,
that is, when your body
language and tonality are
solid and when you have a
strong sense of your identity
and your own value. Unlike PUAs,
I don’t personally think much about
“social value.” I try to live my life the way I
want, going for the goals I feel are important to
myself, and giving it my best. After all, Value is 21
relative. While many of us value the same things,
there are always people who consider different
things to be important. So I don’t much bother
actively to “demonstrate higher value.” It’s not
something I do. I just am.
And at this point, believability really becomes
THE most important issue, in my experience.
That’s why I call it the key to ELITE game.
Believability gets at the issue of whether
the girl feels she can believe your sincerity,
that you really do mean what you say in your
compliments and verbal rewards, and that your
touch escalations make sense emotionally.
Let’s be clear that she does not need to
believe that you want to have sex with her. Every
hot girl will automatically think that she can
attain sex from you. That’s not what’s in question. now has to depend on getting What you don’t want is
What she craves to know is that you appreciate her drunk or high enough that to be a “just friend.” If a
her for being more than just a sex object. she isn’t in her right mind (or, he woman ever tells a man
That’s a quickie explanation of Believability. can find a girl who is just feeling
they are “just friends,”
For more on Value, Investment, and slutty that night). This is the
Believability, you should take the sequence of Player’s only recourse. this means the man just
courses offered through the Academy. So now the Player knows failed in an escalation
So at any given time, you can simply stop that getting further Value or attempt.
and ask yourself, “How am I doing on Value? Investment from her is counter-
How am I doing on Investment? How am I productive. He needs to shore up
doing on Believability?” If you find that your his Believability.
Believability is low at that time, it won’t do you In the second case, the man has moderately
any good to try to bump up your Value. Actually, high Value and very high Believability, but
that’s one of the biggest mistakes of the PUA moderately low Investment. This is the man
community, which generally assumes that the caught in the Platonic Friend Zone.
man is of lower social value and is obsessed By the way, it’s fine to be “friends” with a woman. 22
about trying to increase Value all the time to the Women hook up with their male friends. Women
detriment of the other two factors. marry their male friends. This is perfectly normal.
To help you understand how explanatorily What you don’t want is to be a “just friend.” If
powerful the V-I-B model is, consider the a woman ever tells a man they are “just friends,”
following cases. this means the man just failed in an escalation
In the first case, the man’s Value and attempt. Imagine you turned to your guy
Investment are high, but his Believability is low. friend and said, “Hey dude, we’re just friends.”
That is, the woman considers him high value and Something weird just happened, ha.
is putting in time and effort into the interaction. So the Platonic Friend who has been given
Any player worth his salt would look good and the “just friends” speech needs to improve his
can make her laugh. She finds him fun to talk Investment mainly and to a lesser degree, his Value.
to and pleasing to the eye. However, when it She values him to a degree and that’s why
comes time to escalate further, she hesitates and they’re friends. Friends are important to us.
withdraws. This is the “Player’s Problem.” And when he tells her, “Babe, you’re so
Why would she pull back? Because he lacks smart and sexy. You’re way too good for that bad
Believability. She doesn’t trust his sincerity. He boy who keeps ignoring you,” she believes his
sincerity. So Believability is not his problem. AFA (Average Frustrated Asian). The woman
His weakness is that he’s not getting enough doesn’t consider him important. She doesn’t
Investment from her. She’s not kissing him or give him much time or effort. And when he
opening herself up to him physically. tells her he thinks she’s hot, well, she believes
So he can skip the Believability techniques he thinks she’s hot. He needs to first work on
and even the Value techniques for now. raising his Value and Investment.
What he needs to focus on first is to ramp up For the sake of completion, I’ve added the
his Investment. So now he can turn to his arsenal last case where the Value is low but the other
of Investment strategies and start to build two are high. Because of the upward mutual
Investment from her. pull of Value and Investment, this sort of case
You see how powerful this model is? is thankfully rare. And I’ve called it the “rapist”
I’ve drawn these out in bar graphs for you to case. This case would entail coerced time and
see at a glance: effort from the woman.
You can see that the third case is the typical
23

VIB VARIATIONS
14

12

10

VALUE
2
INVESTMENT

BELIEVABILITY
0
PLAYER JUST FRIENDS AFA RAPIST
7. SCREENING thing is, almost every time I ask a guy what he’s
Now that you’ve had a whirlwind tour of how looking for in a woman, the first (and only) things
the V-I-B model works, let’s move onto one of he tells me are her physical traits—how tall she
the only techniques that simultaneously raises is, her bust, waist, and hip measurements, her
all three—Value, Investment, and Believability. hair color, yada yada. Dude, this is one of those
(Before I go on, let me remind you that if you reasons why you don’t have a girlfriend yet. Sure,
have questions or want to dive deeper into the I have a pretty good picture of my ideal physical
V-I-B Model, we’re just an email away: support@ woman. But what we’re after here are her non-
auratransformation.com. I kept that section physical qualities. Otherwise, you’re just like the
short so we could move on but realize you may next creepy guy.
need further explanation.) Think of at least five non-physical traits and
This technique is called “Screening and write them down. To give you an example, I’ll give
Qualifying.” you an abbreviated version of my current list.
You’ll see why as we proceed. The “bad” girl character traits I like: Open-
Overall, Screening & Qualifying done minded. Non-judgmental. Non-jealous. Non-
properly: possessive. A girl who “goes with her feelings.” 24
Spontaneous. Adventurous in life. Sexually
Shows that you genuinely have high adventurous. Independent.
standards (Value). The “good” girl character traits I like:
Loyal. Mature. Cultured. Sophisticated. Caring.
Allows her to earn your attention and Affectionate. Responsible. Understanding.
affection for her non-physical qualities I look for a girl who combines the “bad” and
(Investment). “good” girl character traits, the more the better!
In addition, I’m also looking for the following more
Shows her you appreciate her for her personalized qualities.
special characteristics and for meeting your
high standards (Believability). Loves East Asian culture, especially its
movies, art, music, history, fashion, and food
First, Screening. (the last is a deal-breaker)!
You should reflect on what you’re looking Loves to travel and experience new cultures
for in a woman. I know almost all of you know Appreciates the arts and has some artistic
what kind of physical traits you want. The funny talent (dance, drama, music, visual arts)
S & Q (“Screening and Qualifying”)
raises all three of Value, Investment,
and Believability.

Passionate about life and is a positive and maintain a SCREENING


optimistic person in general FRAME. You are in the
I’ll omit the rest; you get the idea. position of the evaluator,
the judge, the referee.
These are just a few examples of what I You should have this frame 25
screen for. You should come up with your own throughout the interaction, from
list. That means you’ll actually have to pause and the approach to the close, and over
reflect for a minute or two. the long-term.
Take a moment to do it right now. Reflect and In fact, this should be your default frame in
write down at least five non-physical traits you life, not just with women, but with everyone. You
want in your ideal woman. should be a man of high standards, who knows
For you to pull this off properly, you should what he’s looking for in women, in friends, in a job,
genuinely want these qualities in a woman. in colleagues, employees, etc.
It’s really up to you how much you’re willing to So that’s the mental preparation and mindset
compromise on any of them. For me, she would behind Screening, which are far more important
have to be insanely hot for me to compromise than the actual words you use.
on any of the above. These can be in the form of either statements
This is NOT merely a technique. This is a whole or questions. Always contextualize your
frame of mind. statements and questions. Don’t just ask or say
To do this properly, you need to have and them out of the blue. For example, talk about a
AS FOR THE WORDS,
HERE ARE SOME
DEFAULT SCREENING
LINES :

“I LIKE X.”

“BEING X IS REALLY IMPORTANT


TO ME. IT’S SOMETHING I REALLY
LIKE ABOUT SO-AND-SO FRIEND.”

“ALL MY FRIENDS ARE X. HMM, 26

YOU SEEM X. AM I RIGHT?”

“YOU STRIKE ME AS AN X
PERSON. YOU’RE X, AREN’T YOU?”

“I CAN TELL YOU’RE VERY X.


BUT ARE YOU Y AS WELL?”

“ARE YOU MORE X OR Y?


YOU’RE NOT Y, RIGHT?”
time when you or your friends were X before you Frame and you must have a Screening Delivery.
ask her how X she is. What’s the right delivery? Well, you want her to
These should roll off your tongue as if they’re put some work into her answers, to Invest in you.
the sort of things you say or ask everybody you You’re aiming for at least a 50-50 workload here.
talk to. Actually, the more she talks, the better.
Here are some bare bones Screening After you make the statement or ask the
lines. Just substitute the X for the trait you are question, pause and hold the tension. Freeze your
Screening for. body language, and look at her expectantly. Lean
And here are some more personalized back a little as if you are judging her and are a
Screening questions that arose out of my own little skeptical that she will have a good answer.
personal interests: After all, you have high standards. Apply social
pressure with your expectant silence. High-value
[After talking passionately about some people expect others to answer their questions
travel-related topic,] I say, “So where do and respond to their statements.
you like to travel?” (this is a positive If she doesn’t give you anything after you
presumption which implies that she does in pause, resist the urge to fill the silence with 27
fact travel) babbling. Look away or withdraw your body
“You have that artistic air about language slightly to let her know she’s losing you.
you / You look artistic. What kind of art Then slowly turn back to her if you want to give
do you do?” (again, positive presumption) her another chance.
“All my friends are adventurous. It’s I usually give a girl three strikes before I
something I look for in new friends. move on. It’s up to you how much you’re willing
What’s the most adventurous thing to compromise on your standards. Remember,
you’ve done... in the past month?” though, it’s much more powerful if your standards
“Uh, you don’t get jealous easily do
you?”
If she gives you a great answer, which
Now the delivery is crucial here. You can she should if you did this right, you
parrot these words, but if you have the wrong should reward her
delivery, you’ll totally flop. So if you want her
working to get your attention and affection, you
absolutely must have the mindset of a Screening
are genuine. I’ve had plenty of girls that I’ve In a conversation, good effort can include
next’ed come find me later in the night because speaking a lot, asking you questions, telling you
they were so impressed that I held to my a story, telling you a joke or just plain making you
standards and walked away. laugh, defending her view, changing her own view
If she gives you a great answer, which she to match yours, or even just taking the time to pay
should if you did this right, you should reward attention to you and focus on what you’re saying.
her, which brings us to step two: Qualification. You get the idea. She is supposed to contribute to
One caveat: Having explained all that, you the conversation and make an effort before being
should realize once you get really good at the reward with a Qualification.
Screening technique, you can use it to screen Before you proceed to the Qualifying stage,
on just about any trait, even if you don’t really you must first get her to Invest in you. That is how
care about that trait. In fact, one fun exercise we you build your Investment.
do in the Academy is to give you a random trait Qualifying prematurely, without any effort
and have you make up a screen for it and start on her part, is worse than not Qualifying at all
a conversation with it on the spot. Screening because it will just showcase your neediness.
on a trait you don’t actually care about is called When you Qualify properly, you should see her 28
“False Screening.” So yes, although ideally, it eyes kind of light up and a smile on her face, as if
should include the whole mindset of a Screening nobody had really appreciated that in her for a
Frame, it could be just a technique. As long as while.
you can act out the delivery properly, it’ll work. This is because you will only be
However, you either have to be a good actor or qualifying her on non-physical traits.
really experienced with the technique to do this Almost everyone else will be focusing
smoothly. For now, just focus on “Real Screening,” on a hot girl’s looks, everyone but you,
getting practice and experience using Screening that is. You will be looking right past
on traits that you actually care about. her superficial appearances and
appreciating her personality
8. QUALIFYING and character. That’s what
Before you can qualify, you MUST get builds your Believability.
Investment from the girl. In other words, she has There is often a
to put time and effort into the conversation. good thirty seconds
Always reward good effort and punish bad to three minutes
behavior. or more of
conversation between contextualize and personalize the Qualification
the Screen and the as much as possible. Again, the X stands for the
Qualification. This personality trait you were Screening for.
is because you are
allowing her to
“WOW, YOU REALLY ARE X. I LIKE
Invest in you and the
THAT.”
conversation, which
is vital to generating
“MMM. YOU’RE SO X.”
Attraction.
Remember, the overall level of
“IT’S REALLY COOL TO HANG OUT WITH
Attraction a woman has for you is only as high
SUCH AN X GIRL.”
as the lowest of the three factors—Value,
Investment, and Believability. So if your Value is
“WOW, YOU’RE SO X. COOL.”
very high, but your Investment and Believability
are low, it will do you no good to raise your
“YOU’RE SO X. I LOVE IT.”
Value even more. The only way to generate 29
Attraction then would be to also raise your
Investment and Believability to match your level I like to sprinkle the word “friend” into my
of Value. Qualifications. Like most strategies that work,
Also, once she has either demonstrated the it’s counter-intuitive. It gives you plausible
trait you are Screening for and she has put in time deniability—you’re not hitting on her, you’re just
and effort into the interaction, you MUST right appreciating her personality. And if you deliver
then Qualify her. You should not wait until later to it correctly, she’ll like that you appreciate her
Qualify her on that trait because then she will not personality and will feel more attracted to you.
associate the verbal reward with her effort. But then she’ll wonder to herself, “Wait, why is
You should Qualify her immediately after he calling me just a friend? Isn’t he attracted to
she Invests the time or effort into attempting to me? I like him. I guess my womanly charms aren’t
demonstrate that trait. working on him. I’ll have to work harder to get him
So that’s the “when.” Here’s what you’re hooked on me.”
actually going to say. Yes, I am suggesting you put girls in the Friend
The following are examples of a bare Zone first. LJBF them, haha. This makes them work
bones Qualification. Obviously, you should even harder for you.
“Too bad you’re such a dork/geek/nerd/
“OKAY, OKAY, YOU’RE X. YOU CAN BE
snob/baby, etc.”
MY FRIEND NOW.”
“But don’t get a big head, … or I’ll have to
spank you… maybe I’ll do it anyway.”
“I LOVE HAVING SUCH AN X FRIEND.”
“I knew this would happen. I’d compliment
you. You’d get a big head. And then I’d
“YOU REALLY ARE X. I’M GLAD WE
regret it.”
CAN BE FRIENDS.”
“Too bad you’re not my type.”
“But you’re too cold/arrogant, etc.”
“SO YOU ARE X. YOU’RE JUST LIKE
ALL MY FRIENDS!”
Back-turn.
Your verbal rewards and escalations should be
“MAN, YOU ARE X. IT’S GREAT TO
accompanied by touch rewards and escalations.
BECOME FRIENDS WITH YOU.”
Start off small. Give her a friendly squeeze on the
outside of her elbow or her outside thigh. Pull her
“GEEZ, YOU’RE JUST LIKE MY FRIEND
in for a big hug. Look deeply into her eyes with a 30
JENNIFER.”
puppy dog “where have you been all my life?” look.
Basically here, you use S&Q as reasons for
“YOU REMIND ME OF A LOT OF MY
your touch escalation.
FRIENDS. YOU’RE SO X TOO!”
You screen her. She passes. You verbally
reward her with qualifications while also physically
rewarding her with touch escalation. It all makes
By rewarding her after she meets your screen, sense to her rationally and emotionally. She’s
you are verbally escalating. Another way to put this earned your affections and now she gets to collect
is that you are escalating on her high points. her rewards.
If you stack enough of these screens followed To give you a better idea of how this would
by qualifications, pretty soon, the girl will be work, here’s an excerpt. Notice how I hold off on
begging you to escalate big time. my approval until she gives me something worth
If you feel that she isn’t taking the compliment rewarding:
well, you should release her from her discomfort
by injecting a “backhand rejection” or takeaway. [A minute into the interaction, I say, it’s great
Here are a few backhand rejections you can use: to be back in town.]
Me: I just got back from backpacking Her: Haha, no.
through southwest China. We were in
Sichuan and trying to get to Tibet, but with [Me, looking at her expectantly, controlling the
all the rioting there, they wouldn’t let us in. tension.]
Had a blast, though… So where do you like
to travel? [looking at her expectantly] Her: Oh, … I loved the beaches. We spent the
whole week on these beaches that were
Her: Oh, I like southeast Asia. almost completely deserted. What a nice
change from the crowded beaches in China.
Me: Cool. Which part? (notice she gave me (wow, this is a lot. So many possible threads to
so little, so I only gave her a one-word take here.)
answer)
Me: That’s awesome. My best friend was there
Her: Uh… Thailand! last month, and she showed me all these
awesome photos of them scuba-diving. It
Me: Nice. So what do you like so much looked absolutely beautiful. What was the 31
about Thailand? (again, a one-word answer most adventurous thing you did while you
deserves a one-word reward. Expect more.) were there?

Her: Oh, I don’t know. [Me, holding the Her: Uh, oh, yeah. We took a little boat out to
silence and tension while leaning back with a explore the small islands off the coast. And
skeptical look.] then we went diving off the boat. We were
swimming with the fish!
Me: Well, a lot of guys like Thailand for all
the cheap sex. I’m assuming that’s not why Me: Damn, you’re like adventure-girl! I like
you like it. that you about you. Gimme the rock, HB!

Her: Haha, no. [HB gives me the rock and smiles big-time]

Me: (smiling) ‘Cause if it was, that’s okay, Me: You’re really making me want to explore
too. I’m not judging. Thailand now. The closest I’ve been is Bali. You
know Bali? [wait for the nod] The beaches
there were divine, and the surf’s awesome! Me: Wow, you’re an adventurous eater, too!
That’s cool. Mmm, okay, you pass. [Pull her in
[HB nods vigorously] for a big hug.] We can be friends now. [big
smile]
Her: Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard!
This girl opened up after just a little bit of
Me: I went surfing for the first time there, probing. It can get more complex depending on the
and I totally wiped out, like over and over type of girl.
and over. For a more advanced technique, check out my
article on “Challenge Screening” on my blog http://
Her: Hey, me too! Well, I was in Thailand, www.doctorasianrake.com. I’ve used the more
but yeah, surfing’s a lot harder than it looks. advanced technique of Challenge Screening to great
effect on pretentious girls who often think they have
Me: Hey, if you like southeast Asia, you must higher social status, like models, actresses, rich girls,
have been to Singapore. and the like.
32
Her: No, not yet, but I really want to. 9. GOING FROM PLATONIC TO SEXUAL
Up to this point, you’ve gotten a great recipe
Me: Cool. I was just there a few weeks ago. for starting conversations with women, building
Man, it’s like a food-lover’s paradise! I connections, and making friends with them.
haven’t had so many different kinds of Now though, you might want to turn things
curries in one place before. sexual.
The easiest way to have women thinking of you
Her: Oh, I’ve heard. I love curry. That’s all we sexually is to project a sexual vibe in your image,
ate in Thailand. body language, eye contact, and tonality. These are
all covered in separate classes and modules in my
Me: Thai curries are so diverse. Yellow curry, new online training program, Limitless, which gives a
green curry, red curry, and they’re all sweet guy complete control of his dating life and is based
and spicy at the same time! on cutting edge advances in neuroscience and
psychology.
Her: I know, I love it! In addition to these all-important non-
verbal factors, you can also change your verbal
Qualifications from the gauge her current degree of
platonic (the “I like X about attraction to you.
you” variety) to the sexual. I usually do variations
This is most smoothly on this: “Look, missy, just
accomplished after you’ve because you’re all sexy and
delivered a few platonic sh*t doesn’t mean you can
Qualifications. expect everyone to treat you
An easy way to go from like a queen.”
platonic to sexual is to use Or, “Oh, good. I thought
an Embedded Qualification. you were just another pretty
An Embedded Qualification face who just likes shopping
is where you bury the and watching TV.”
X-quality (some sexual You could also be
adjective, like “sexy,” “hot,” more direct, which could
“attractive,” “gorgeous,” be riskier. The degree of
etc.) in the middle or the directness is something 33
beginning of the sentence, you calibrate to the specific
so as not to draw attention context and woman you’re
to it and make yourself interacting with.
sound smoother. With some girls, you
The classic line, “Not might even have to just say,
only are you sexy, but you’re while looking deeply into her
adventurous too!” is an eyes, “I think… you are …
example of an Embedded really… beautiful.”
Qualification where the X is As the interaction
“sexy.” goes further and further,
This is of the form: “Not you can use Sexual State
only are you [X sexual trait], Transference, a technique I
but you’re [Y non-sexual teach and demonstrate in my
trait], too,” which is a good Desire video course and in
way to gradually build my live coaching programs.
sexual interest, as well as to At the same time, you can
NOT ONLY
ARE YOU SEXY,
BUT YOU’RE
ADVENTUROUS
TOO!

34
start escalating touch and blaming it on her: you’ll say between the Opener and your first
“Don’t look at me like that. You’re driving me Screen. You literally just insert the short Transition
crazy. Stop it.” in between the Opener and the Screen. As
“You don’t know how hard I’m trying not to I mentioned, the Transition you use will be
kiss you right now.” dependent on the Screen you’re transitioning into.
Eventually--maybe after a couple of hours of There are basically three types of Transitions.
building sexual tension--you can be even more
direct and say, while making sexual eye contact 1. Backstory
and in slow and smooth tonality, “I want to do 2. Observation
you really, really hard.” 3. Tacit
Or, “I am going to do you so hard you won’t
even be able to walk in the morning.” 1. First, with the Backstory Transition, you’re
All of these sexual compliments should be going to transition using an explanatory story or
accompanied by some kind of touch escalation. anecdote. Keep it short and sweet.
The degree and kind of touch you apply Some examples:
depends on the woman you’re with and where “I just got back from an amazing trip through 35
you’re at in the interaction. You can start off with the islands around Phuket. Amazing snorkeling.
a light tap on the outside elbow, to pulling her And the sand was perfect... So where do you like
in for a big hug, to putting your arms around her, to travel the most?”
to pulling her face in for a kiss, to caressing the “Just had a crazy intense workout today at the
body part you’re complimenting, and so on. Crossfit gym... So which gym do you go to?”
But just make sure that your touch escalation “My buddy from Korea is visiting next week,
are rewards. That is, she should feel like she’s and I can’t wait. Whenever we get together,
won that physical touch for the reasons you state we get into some crazy adventures... So, what’s
in your compliment. And if you’re in Asia and the most adventurous thing you’ve done ... this
interacting with an Asian woman, remember to month?”
hold off on sexual touch until you are alone in
private. 2. Second, with the Observation Transition,
you’re going to transition using an observation
10. THE TRANSITION REVISITED related to your Screen. Generally, the more
Now that we’ve covered Screening & Qualifying, specific you can be, the better.
we can return to the Transition, which is what Some examples:
“You look really fit! ... So what do you to Her: “Great!”
keep so fit? What’s your secret?”
You: “So, what’s the most fun thing you’ve
“I love how you’ve matched the blue in your done today?”
heels with the blue in your bracelet and belt.
You’ve got a great aesthetic sense... So what After the transition, you get right into your
kind of art do you do?” Screen.

“You seem like a really cosmopolitan 11. SPECIAL NOTE ON HUMOR
person... So where do you like to travel the Even though there is no stage marked “Humor”
most?” (again, it’s best not to think too rigidly about
sequential or chronological stages, but to
3. Third, you can use the Tacit Transition, which analyze interactions instead using the synchronic
is where you just skip the Transition because you V-I-B model), you should remember to sprinkle
realize that you don’t really need one. A high- in humor throughout your interactions.
value person just asks a thoughtful question 36
and expects a smarts answer. These are best for
high-comprehension environments like a coffee ALWAYS KEEP THINGS LIGHT AND FUN!
shop, a lounge, or a quiet bar.
Some examples, starting from the opener: This is especially true if you’re in a
higher energy or louder environment
“Hey there [smile]... So, what’s like a nightclub. The more
your passion in life?” low-comprehension the
environment—the less
“Hey there [smile]... So people in that environment
what kind of art do you can comprehend
do?” conversations—the more
humor you should use.
Or, If you’re looking for
practice and coaching in
You: “How’s your girls’ humor, you should consider
night out going? my new Limitless, an online
training program that gives you complete control
of your dating life and features multiple modules
on humor and frequent drills and exercises to
develop your skills with humor. If the city you live in
has classes in improvisational comedy, you can try
out those classes, which are another good place to
develop your humor.

12. EXCHANGING CONTACT INFO


If you’ve done everything else up to this point
correctly, this will be the easiest part.
You can get an attractive woman’s number
or contact info within a minute of meeting her.
But there’s no harm in establishing a more solid
connection before getting the digits.
The most common amateur mistake is waiting 37
too long to exchange contacts, which makes it into
a “big deal” in the guy’s head and messes up his
mindset.
The most important thing to realize in getting
the contact info is that IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL. As
long as you believe it’s not a big deal, then she
won’t think it is either.
I get asked all the time by the media how to get
a girl’s number. The fact is that the number doesn’t
really matter.
What’s important is whether she’s attracted to you.
What the media should really be obsessed with asking
me is how to get a girl attracted to you.
You see, if she isn’t attracted to you, even if
you tricked or manipulated her into giving you her
number, it wouldn’t matter because she won’t be
picking up your calls or responding to your Instead, use the more more neutral term
texts. “phone” here.
But if she is attracted to you, then you So again, the key question is:
won’t even have to worry about asking for the “So do you have your phone with you?”
number. She’ll be eagerly waiting for you to ask It’s also a great question because you’re not
her and even asking for yours first. actually asking for her number here. You’re just
When should you go for the exchange? asking a simple factual question of whether she
Notice that I wrote “exchanging” numbers has her phone with her or not.
and not “getting” her number. This is because It’s a Yes-or-No question, so there are only
you should always see your interactions as an two responses here.
exchange of equals. If she says, “No.” You say, “No problem, I’ve
You should view the contact exchange as a got mine.” And you take out your phone and
REWARD for her. Your number is her reward for open it to the keypad and put it in her hand.
investing time and effort into the interaction. Girls usually know what to do with something 38
So the best time to pop the question is right once it’s in their hands ;)
after she’s Invested in you or the interaction. If she says, “Yes.” Then you say, “Great! Let’s
In other words, it’s the same time when you trade.” And you do the same thing. Take out your
Qualify. phone, open it to the keypad, and put it in her
Right after your second or third hands.
Qualification (“I like X about you”), follow up Remember to give her a missed call.
immediately with this default line. You can also do this on her phone instead if
“Let’s keep in touch. Do you have your she’s got hers out. And you can save your name
phone with you?” as something cheeky like, “[Your name], Man of
The reason we are using the word “phone” My Dreams” or “[Your name], Super Stud.”
and not “number” is because the word And then carry on as if it’s no big deal...
“number” is too deeply anchored with a “pick because it isn’t.
up” scenario where the guy is trying to get a Exchanging numbers is simply a logistical
girl’s number. Unfortunately in modern culture, tool so that when you’ve parted, the two of you
“number” is too loaded with bad connotations. can get in touch again.
Facebook is just as good as a number
39
these days, especially in Singapore,
which has one of the highest rate of per capita
Facebook users of any city in the world. Just
make sure you’ve got a killer Facebook profile
because she will check out your profile.

Carry on the really doesn’t matter


conversation for at least except as a logistical
a few minutes longer tool).
so it doesn’t seem like ... And that’s it!
you were just collecting Just remember. The
phone numbers (which magic line is, “Let’s keep
you shouldn’t be anyway, in touch. Do you have
since like I told you, it your phone with you?”
CONC
LUSION
hus concludes Part 2— and fail to truly internalize them. I’ve 40
The “How To,” and it placed a lot of emphasis on adopting
concludes the rest of this the proper mindsets and attitudes about
primer. I really hope it was many things, and I strongly suggest that
helpful. It is really a ton of you read and reread those points over and
information, tightly packed over until you’ve internalized them.
into these pages, so if I were This is when true change happens.
you, I’d read it over several When your thinking is set straight, the
times to make sure that the way you behave, talk, and carry yourself
principles stick. will naturally change too. Then the girls
Remember that it’s not just about will begin to notice. It isn’t just an image
“knowing” something in your head. you’re projecting. It’s really something you
There are a lot of guys who read tons of believe.
material online and then get nowhere... Then you will be sexually attractive,
just thinking about a lot of things but not genuinely and authentically.
really doing anything. And while this book is as packed as I
Worse, they may know a lot of things could make it, without turning it into an
encyclopedia, and is truly powerful if you to start doing a few things on your own
apply everything I’ve taught you thus far... and gaining a bit of confidence, and
it still falls short in the areas where our then your hunger to grow further in this
Coaching Programs shine and succeed. area will push you to reach out to us for
I mastered this area of my life largely personal coaching. I would love to meet
because I got the right mentors and the you in person! You can grow just by
right coaching at just the right times in my reading this book. But when you’re in one
life. The ideal mentor really cares about of our personal coaching programs, you
your progress. He tracks your growth, will transform in ways you never thought
listens to your concerns, pinpoints your possible.
natural strong points and diagnoses your I want to thank you for taking the time
weak spots. He challenges you when you to read this and for taking a bet on me and
give him bullshit excuses and reins you in the Aura Academy. I trust it was worth if
when he knows you need to pause and for you, and I look forward to hearing from
reflect to understand a lesson or point you!
more deeply. Get it done. Get it handled. 41
Only a great coach can do that.
My hope is that you’ve received a lot All the best,
of value from this brief book... enough David Tian, Ph.D

P.S. IF YOU NEED MORE


INFORMATION, DON’T
FORGET TO VISIT
WWW.AURA
TRANSFORMATION.ORG
AURA TRANSFORMATION
CORE VALUES FOR MEN

DIGNITY AUTHENTICITY COURAGE


Give good feelings to Become our best selves. Have courage in facing
others. fear; in the face of fear,
Be true to my edge step up.
Add value to others by wherever it may be.
42
our presence. Push beyond my
Take constructive comfort zone.
Never disregard the criticism like a man.
emotions of others, Persevere; adapt but
especially the more Be understanding never give up.
vulnerable. and empathetic.
Speak up when
Respect the dignity Compare my progress wronged; do not harbour
of all human beings, against my former self not resentment
regardless of race, against others; check my
religion, gender, age, or ego at the door. Have FUN!
political persuasion.

Earn the respect of


others; do not simply
demand it.
43

WWW.AURATRANSFORMATION.ORG