WHY MARRIAGE MATTERS

A Looking At Cohabiting Couples, The Tradition Family

between a Male & Female And Same Sex-Families
-Antonio Bernard
Part 24
 SEXUAL EXCESS

“Having lots of sexual partners can shorten lifespan, and divorce can have a
devastating impact, the researchers claim. Splitting up is distressing but less
so for women "because they have more supportive social networks."

—The Daily Telegraph, Friday, January 28, 2011

 SEXUAL EXCESS

“Sexual excess will effectually destroy a love for devotional exercises, will
take from the brain the substance needed to nourish the system,

and will most effectively exhaust the vitality"

— Testimonies for the Church, vol. 2, p. 477.

 SEXUAL EXCESS

“The body is enervated, the brain weakened. The material deposited there
to nourish the system is squandered. The drain upon the system is great."

— Testimonies for the Church, vol. 2, p. 470.

 SEXUAL EXCESS

“Men who masturbate in excess do not allow their bodies to replenish

hormones and neurochemicals needed for sex… When men start to over
masturbate, the issue can cause a disruption in the endocrine-nervous
system, create hormonal imbalances and alter brain patterns…”

— “Over-Masturbation: Symptom and Solution Guide,” HerbalLove Editorial, no date,

http://www.herballove.com/guide/over-masturbation-symptom-and-solution-guide”
 SEXUAL EXCESS

“O.M. [over masturbation] reduces the production of oxytocin, DHEA, testosterone

and DHT. [Possible negative effects include:] anxiety, lower back pain, eye floaters or
fuzzy vision, chronic fatigue, groin discomfort or testicular pain, penis shrinkage,
premature ejaculation, prostatitis (prostate inflammation), insomnia, stress and
mood swings, thinning hair, weak erections.”

— “Over-Masturbation: Symptom and Solution Guide,” HerbalLove Editorial, no date, http://

www.herballove.com/guide/over-masturbation-symptom-and-solution-guide”
 SEXUAL EXCESS

Dr. David Horrobin, an M.D. and Ph.D. from Oxford University, states:

“The amount of zinc in semen is such that one ejaculation may get rid of all the zinc that can
be absorbed from the intestines in one day. This has a number of consequences. Unless the
amount lost is replaced by an increased dietary intake, repeated ejaculation may lead to a
real zinc deficiency with various problems developing, including impotence."

 SEXUAL EXCESS & MASTERBATION

“It is even possible, given the importance of zinc for the brain, that 19th
century moralists were correct when they said that repeated

masturbation could make one mad"

— Zinc (Vitabooks: St. Albans, Vermont, 1981), p. 8.

 SEXUAL EXCESS

This statement is similar to that made by Carl C. Pfeiffer,

Ph.D., M.D., in his book on zinc. He declares:

“We hate to say it, but in a zinc-deficient adolescent, sexual excitement

and excessive masturbation might precipitate insanity.”

— Zinc and Other Micro-nutrients (Keats: New Canaan, Conn., 1978), p. 45.
 SEXUAL EXCESS

“The clinical manifestations in severe cases of zinc deficiency included bullous-pustular dermatitis,
alopecia, diarrhoea, emotional disorder, weight loss, intercurrent infections, hypogonadism in males
and it is fatal if untreated. A moderate deficiency of zinc is characterized by growth retardation and
delayed puberty in adolescents, hypogonadism in males, rough skin, poor appetite, mental lethargy,
delayed wound healing, taste abnormalities and abnormal dark adaptation [night blindness]."

— Abstract of "Clinical, endocrinological and biochemical effects of zinc deficiency," A. S. Prasad,

Clin. Endocrinol. Metab. 1985 Aug;14(3):567-89.
One might think that all kinds of sexual activity are alike in terms of
sexual satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, mental health, and
physiological effects. An orgasm is an orgasm. It turns out that this
view is not supported by scientific research. Numerous studies
have pointed to significant differences between, on the one hand,
coitus (i.e. penile-vaginal intercourse or PVI) and, on the other
hand, noncoital sexual activity such as oral sex, anal sex, and
masturbation with or without a partner.
In his Journal of Sex Medicine article, “The Relative
Health Benefits of Different Sexual Activities,” Dr.
Stuart Brody summarizes a number of studies
stating that “[a] wide range of better psychological
and physiological health indices are associated
specifically with penile–vaginal intercourse. …”
“Other sexual activities have weaker, or (in the
cases of masturbation and anal intercourse) inverse
associations with health indices.” Multimethod
evidence points to better psychological and
physiological health benefits associated with
coitus but not with other sexual behaviors.
Researchers also found differences in mental health satisfaction when comparing coitus
with noncoital activities. Brody writes:
“In a large representative sample of the Swedish population, PVI [penile-vaginal
intercourse] frequency was a significant predictor of both men’s and women’s greater
satisfaction with their mental health. In contrast, masturbation was inversely (badly)
associated with mental health satisfaction in the multivariate analyses that controlled for
other sexual behavior frequencies, and partnered sexual behaviors other than PVI
[penile-vaginal intercourse] were uncorrelated with mental health satisfaction.”
 Differences also existed regarding intimate
relationship quality: “noncoital sex frequency was
associated with less global relationship
satisfaction, and noncoital partnered orgasm
frequency was associated with less love.”
Likewise, researchers found differences with respect to rates of depression. In Brody’s words:

“The association of masturbation with depression is unlikely to be a result of simply a lack of PVI,
because more masturbation and less PVI make independent contributions to less satisfaction with
relationships, sex life, life in general, and one’s mental health (the multivariate analyses also
examined some partnered sexual activities other than PVI, and revealed that anal and oral sex
frequency also have independent inverse associations with some of the satisfaction indices). It is
likely that only unfettered, real PVI has important mood-enhancing benefits.”
“The findings demonstrate that sexual satisfaction is strongly related to PVI but
not to other sexual behaviors (some of which are significantly inversely related to
sexual satisfaction). A similar pattern applies to satisfaction with relationships, life
in general, and one’s mental health. This evidence contrasts with assertions that
masturbation and other sexual activities are as satisfying as PVI.”
The difference may be due to greater release of prolactin which is associated with
sexual satiety: “the prolactin rise after PVI orgasm is 400% greater than following
masturbation orgasm.” Coitus and other kinds of sexual activity are not equivalent.
“[S]atisfaction with sex life, life in general, sexual partnership, and
mental health correlates directly with frequency of penile-vaginal
intercourse (PVI) and inversely with frequency of both masturbation
and partnered sexual activity excluding PVI (noncoital sex).”
 One might be tempted to account for these
psychological differences in satisfaction in terms of
underlying differences in attitude among those who do
them. People with more strict moral codes might feel
guilty in doing noncoital sexual behaviors, and so might
not experience the same psychological benefits that
persons with less strict moral codes would experience.
However, in a study entitled, yes, this is the real full title, “Satisfaction (Sexual,
Life, Relationship, and Mental Health) Is Associated Directly with Penile-Vaginal
Intercourse, but Inversely with Other Sexual Behavior Frequencies,”
Brody and Rui Miguel Costa point out, “The exploratory finding that a rigid attitude
toward variety in sexual activities was completely unrelated to the satisfaction indices
suggests that it is indeed sexual behaviors (and the underlying psychosexual motives
that guide them) that are related to satisfaction, rather than inflexible attitudes.”
 In other words, it was not guilt about perceived failure
to adhere to moral norms that undermined satisfaction.
Those without so-called “rigid attitudes” had similar
experiences as those with more traditional attitudes
 Brody and Rui found that “[t]he results are consistent with evidence that
specifically PVI frequency, rather than other sexual activities, is associated with
sexual satisfaction, health, and well-being. Inverse associations between
satisfaction and masturbation are not due simply to insufficient PVI.”
 In addition to psychological benefits, physiological benefits are also associated with
coitus but not other kinds of sexual behavior. Researchers found that, “specifically
PVI but not other sexual behavior was associated with an important measure of
better homeostasis, better parasympathetic tone, lower mortality risk, and
better psychological function (including better relatedness).”
The research suggests “not only that it is specifically PVI (rather than other sexual behaviors)
that is associated with optimal cardiovascular ‘protection’ from stress, but also that the
benefits are not simply due to having a partner.” Similarly, Brody cites studies showing the
benefits of coitus but not other sexual activities in reducing the likelihood of prostate cancer, breast
cancer, hot flash symptoms, pre-eclampsia, low sperm count, and high blood pressure.
Results
For both sexes, sexual compatibility was
independently predicted by higher frequency of
penile–vaginal intercourse and greater vaginal
orgasm consistency. Women's sexual satisfaction
score was significantly predicted by greater vaginal
orgasm consistency, frequency of partner genital
stimulation, and negatively with masturbation. Men's
sexual satisfaction score was significantly predicted
by greater intercourse frequency and any vaginal
orgasm of their female partners.
Conclusions
The findings suggest that specifically
penile–vaginal intercourse frequency and vaginal
orgasm consistency are associated with indices of
greater intimate relationship adjustment, satisfaction,
and compatibility of both partners, and that women's
masturbation is independently inversely associated
with measures of dyadic and personal function.
Indeed, the evidence suggests that coitus produces health benefits:
“It is specifically PVI (penile–vaginal intercourse) competently performed and
sensitively experienced, that is associated with . . . and produces . . . aspects
of better mental and physical health. This is not the case for other sexual
behaviors (masturbation and anal intercourse are associated with poorer
health indices, effects not attributable simply to lack of PVI).”
What might account for these differences? A number of mechanisms might account for the
differences between coitus and noncoital sexual behavior. For example, Brody writes:

“Evolutionary pressures strongly reward behaviors and mutations even

slightly associated with increased likelihood of gene propagation. The
difference between PVI and other sexual behaviors is not slight.”
“The difference between PVI and other sexual behaviors is not slight. The
mechanisms by which such evolutionarily mandated rewards might operate range
from direct physiological mechanisms (responding favorably to PVI but neutrally or
unfavorably to other sexual activities) to mechanisms secondary to the evolutionary
behavioral ‘success’ of specifically PVI being rewarded by better physical and mental
health (and perhaps the evolutionary behavioral failure of other sexual activities such
as masturbation being punished by poorer physical and mental health).”
“Based upon a broad range of methods, samples, and measures, the research findings
are remarkably consistent in demonstrating that one sexual activity (PVI and the
orgasmic response to it) is associated with, and in some cases, causes processes
associated with better psychological and physical functioning. Other sexual behaviors
(including when PVI is impaired, as with condoms or distraction away from the penile–
vaginal sensations) are unassociated, or in some cases (such as masturbation and anal
intercourse) inversely associated with better psychological and physical functioning.”
“Abuse of Sexual Privileges—Let the husband and wife in their married life prove a help and a
blessing to one another. Let them consider the cost of every indulgence in intemperance and
sensualism. These indulgences do not increase love, nor ennoble and elevate. Those who will
indulge the animal passions and gratify lust will surely stamp upon their offspring the
debasing practices, the grossness of their own physical and moral defilement.”

—Manuscript 3, 1897. TSB 114.4

 “That love which has no better foundation than mere sensual gratification will be
headstrong, blind, and uncontrollable. Honor, truth, and every noble, elevated power of the
mind are brought under the slavery of passions. The man who is bound in the chains of this
infatuation is too often deaf to the voice of reason and conscience; neither argument nor
entreaty can lead him to see the folly of his course.”

—The Signs of the Times, July 1, 1903. AH 51.1

 “True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. On the
contrary, it is calm and deep in its nature. It looks beyond mere
externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and
discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding.”

—Testimonies for the Church 2:133. AH 51.2

“Love, lifted out of the realm of passion and impulse, becomes spiritualized,
and is revealed in words and acts. A Christian must have a sanctified
tenderness and love in which there is no impatience or fretfulness; the

rude, harsh manners must be softened by the grace of Christ.”

—Testimonies for the Church 5:335. AH 51.3

“Love is a pure and holy principle; but lustful passion will not admit
of restraint, and will not be dictated to or controlled by reason. It is
blind to consequences; it will not reason from cause to effect.”
—RH Sep 19, 1899. Chrisitanity In The Marriage Relation

Unnatural Practices Produces Diseases

“ Many women are suffering from

great debility and settled disease
because the laws of their being have
been disregarded; nature's laws have
been trampled upon.”
--RH Sep 19, 1899. Chrisitanity In The Marriage Relation
Unnatural Practices Produces Diseases
“The brain nerve power is squandered
by men and women, being called into
unnatural action to gratify base
passions; and this hideous monster
-- base, low passion -- assumes the
delicate name of love.”
--RH Sep 19, 1899. Chrisitanity In
The Marriage Relation
 DELAYED SEX
People who delay sex until marriage do
indeed have better relationships.
A statistical analysis showed the following benefits enjoyed by couples who waited until marriage
compared to those who started having sex in the early part of their relationship:

-    Relationship stability was rated 22 percent higher

-    Relationship satisfaction was rated 20 percent higher
-    Sexual quality of the relationship was rated 15 percent better
-    Communication was rated 12 percent better

For couples in between – those that became sexually involved later in the relationship but prior to
marriage – the benefits were about half as strong.
Sociologist Mark Regnerus of the University of Texas at Austin, who was not involved with this
research, read the study and shared his take on the findings.

“Couples who hit the honeymoon too early – that is, prioritize sex promptly at the outset of a
relationship – often find their relationships underdeveloped when it comes to the qualities that make
relationships stable and spouses reliable and trustworthy,” said Regnerus, author of Premarital Sex in
America, a book forthcoming from Oxford University Press.

Because religious belief often plays a role for couples who choose to wait, Busby and his co-authors
controlled for the influence of religious involvement in their analysis,
“Regardless of religiosity, waiting helps the relationship form better communication processes, and
these help improve long-term stability and relationship satisfaction,” Busby said.
“Most research on the topic is focused on individuals’ experiences and not the timing within a
relationship,” said lead study author Dean Busby, a professor in Brigham Young University’s School of
Family Life.

“There’s more to a relationship than sex, but we did find that those who waited longer were happier
with the sexual aspect of their relationship,” Busby added. “I think it’s because they’ve learned to talk
and have the skills to work with issues that come up.”

Sociologist Mark Regnerus of the University of Texas at Austin, who was not involved with this
research, read the study and shared his take on the findings.
The BYU findings are based on an analysis of answers provided by married couples who took a 276-question online
survey between 2006 and 2009. The questionnaire took between 30 and 60 minutes to complete.

"We are not making claims that if you have sex early there's no hope for your relationship. It seems
to set up the relationship to be more focused on the physical side of things and other things get
underplayed," Busby said.

University of Texas sociologist Mark Regnerus, who was not involved with this research, read the study and offered
commentary in a BYU release.
The study involved 2,035 married participants in an online
assessment of marriage called “RELATE.” According to the
study, people who waited until marriage:

• rated sexual quality 15% higher than people who had

premarital sex
• rated relationship stability as 22% higher
• rated satisfaction with their relationships 20% higher
Prioritizing Sex at Start of Relationship May Not Be Optimal

Mark Regnerus, PhD, of the University of Texas, who wasn’t

involved with the study, says it suggests to him that couples
who “prioritize sex promptly at the outset of a relationship
often find their relationships underdeveloped when it comes to
the qualities that make relationships stable and spouses
reliable and trustworthy.”
Prioritizing Sex at Start of Relationship May Not Be Optimal

“The longer a couple waited to become sexually

involved, the better that sexual quality, relationship
communication, relationship satisfaction and perceived
relationship stability was in marriage ...”
Negative Effects of Premarital Sex and Cohabitation
Americans commonly believe that couples who engage in premarital sex or live together before marriage are more
likely to create a successful marriage. In fact, studies show that both those who have sexual experiences before
marriage and those who cohabitate are more likely to divorce. Cohabitation in particular is linked to lower marital
commitment and a higher divorce rate. Researchers have found no benefits of cohabitation. Some speculate that
cohabitation has harmful effects because it teaches a couple they can have the benefits of marriage without full
commitment, which in turn fosters a type of independence that is not compatible with a healthy marriage. When the
couple marries, it is difficult to unlearn this independence and create a healthy interdependent bond.
Positive Effects of Chastity Before Marriage
Researchers have found that chastity before marriage offers many benefits,
including a decreased chance of psychological damage from expressing intimacy
without commitment, freedom from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and
unwanted pregnancies, and an increase in marital stability and satisfaction.
Psychological Dimensions of Sexual Bonding
The basic human need for touch and physical affection is real, but even more important is
the basic human need for a loving connection with others. Many people confuse their need
for sexual expression with their need for love. If they attempt to connect with another person
primarily through sex, chances are high the relationship will eventually deteriorate and leave
psychological damage in its wake.
Psychological Dimensions of Sexual Bonding
Jess Lair, a psychologist at Montana State University, explains that sexual experiences can be
psychologically significant for individuals: "Sexual bonding includes powerful emotional, psychological,
physical, and spiritual links that are so strong that the two people become one, at least for a moment. Sexual
intercourse is an intense, though brief physical bonding that leaves indelible marks on the participants. . . . To
believe one can walk away from a sexual experience untouched is dangerously naïve."
Psychological Dimensions of Sexual Bonding
Recent research may have discovered the physiological basis for this deep bonding--a hormone called
oxytocin. This hormone is released in both women and men during sexual orgasm. It promotes an
attachment between the two individuals that is likely to grow with each sexual exchange. Since most
unmarried couples will break up, it is psychologically unsafe for them to engage in sexual activity.
Perhaps this is one reason God has benevolently commanded "that the sacred powers of procreation
are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife"
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)
According to the Center for Disease Control, approximately 333 million new cases of STDs are reported in
the world each year. The cost for health care to treat STDs is about $17 billion per year in the United States
alone. Anyone who begins a sexual relationship believing "it can't happen to me" risks his or her health--
and possibly his or her life.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)
There are dozens of STDs, some mild and others lethal. Common STDs include syphilis, gonorrhea, pelvic
inflammatory disease, genital warts, genital herpes, chlamydia, and AIDS or HIV. A few STDs are particularly
dangerous to women. Human papilloma virus, for example, the most common STD in the world, rarely
causes symptoms in men but can cause cervical cancer in women. About 99.7 percent of all cervical cancer
cases are caused by this STD. In addition, women are much more likely than men to become infected with
HIV through heterosexuals.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)

The best way to ensure you never get and STD is to abstain from sex
before marriage and to marry someone who also has abstained.
 SEX AND CULTURE

“For every additional sexual partner a man has and the shorter-lived those
relationships are, the greater the chances that a man creates children with
multiple women without commitment either to those women or to those kids.

It increases the likelihood of creating fragmented families, and then big

government will step in to pick up the pieces with a host of welfare programs

that truly drain the economic prospects of all of our states.”

Unwanted Pregnancies
and Abortion

Unwanted pregnancies are a huge problem

today, especially among teenagers. The
negative effects impact the mother, the
child, and society in general.Children born
to unwed mothers have, on average, lower
birth weights and more complications at
birth. Unwed mothers are more likely to
drink alcohol, which can permanently
damage their babies.
Unwanted Pregnancies
and Abortion

Single mothers and their children are

more likely to live in poverty than married
women and their children. The children of
teenaged mothers are more likely to be
incarcerated than children with more
mature parents.
Unwanted Pregnancies
and Abortion

In many cases, the double burden of providing

both parenting and financial support is too
much for one person to handle. Two parents
are better able to care for a child than one.
Once again, the Proclamation offers wise
counsel: “Children are entitled to birth
within the bounds of matrimony.”

Society, too, pays a huge cost because of

unwed pregnancies. Half of our nation’s
welfare funding goes to families created by
teenaged pregnancies
Effects of Chastity on Marital Stability and Satisfaction
Couples who remain chaste before marriage report greater satisfaction in their marriages than
those who were sexually active before marriage. Their marriages are more stable and more
fulfilling. Researchers have even found that couples who did not have sex before marriage
report greater sexual fulfillment after marriage than those who had premarital sex
A study published in the Student BMJ says that committed couples live longer than singletons, with
the health benefits of companionship increasing over time. Both spouses benefit from marriage in
different ways. Married men are kept physically fit because their wives ensure they lead a healthy
lifestyle, while women’s emotional health benefits because they value being in a relationship.

Meanwhile having lots of sexual partners can shorten lifespan and divorce can have a devastating
impact, the editorial claims. Splitting up is distressing but less so for women "because they have
more supportive social networks.”
David Gallacher, a trainee medic at University Hospital of Wales, and John Gallacher, a reader at
Cardiff University's School of Medicine, write: "In a study of one billion persons across seven
European countries the married persons had age-adjusted mortality rates that were 10-15
per cent lower than the population as a whole.”

The students believe that being in a committed relationship leads to better social support - from a
partner, their friends and family - which improves mental health and life choices. Marriage is thought
to provide the largest benefits, because it involves "deeper commitment" than merely living together.
Sex Desires and Appetites :



• "You are of that age when the will, the
appetite, and the passions clamor for indulgence.
God has implanted these in your nature for high
and holy purposes. It is not necessary that they
should become a curse to you by being debased.
They will become this only when you refuse to
submit to the control of reason and conscience.”

-Testimonies for The Churches, volume 3, page 84.1

 “If you don't see her being your soul mate for life in marriage don't plant seeds in
her garden. Children need two loving parents to teach them the way. Sex is not to
be used for something to do because your bored, horny or lonely. Sex is for mature
grown ups who truly love each other and are married. A real man nurtures his
garden until the seeds are fully grown, keeps the weeds (troubles away from his
children) until they're mature and ready to be on their own.”
-JoanIt Has
- Ryan T. Anderson, “Marriage Matters, and Redefining Hart Mitchell
Social Costs”https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2014/01/11880/

 “A real and mature woman will allow her ground to be tough and hard (in
other words she will not be having sex outside of marriage), and she will
not allow anyone to plant seeds in her garden without seeing he's qualified
to be a good provider, husband and good father first. Can't make wise
discernment without first knowing the truth of the Word of God. You Must
yield to the truth to make righteous judgement in all things.”
-JoanItHart
- Ryan T. Anderson, “Marriage Matters, and Redefining Mitchell
Has Social Costs”https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2014/01/11880/

“ Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but
whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
Hebrews 13:4
- Ryan T. Anderson, “Marriage Matters, and Redefining It Has Social Costs”https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2014/01/11880/

REFERENCES BELOW
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/mc08vpdjz1gzke0/
AAAQ517HZnf5ntn9jVX4dxxua?dl=0
-Antonio Bernard , dindinbernard1@hotmail.com

Part 24