Inside: When it comes to separation anxiety in preschool, you need these helpful tips, given by parents and teachers

with experience.

Separation anxiety is tough. You parents who are going through it are nodding, perhaps through tears. It’s so hard to
leave your babies, especially if they are clinging onto you, not wanting you to leave. And even if you do finally say
those good byes and leave, you might find yourself going through the whole thing again the next day, perhaps being
even worse. You are looking for separation anxiety tips. You might have done a Google search, desperate to find
answers. I hope I can help!

I am extremely sensitive to this subject. As a child, I had separation anxiety issues, off and on. I then had 3 children
who went through separation anxiety. And now, a teacher for over 15 years, I experience it with my toddler and
preschool students. And their parents.

It is hard. And I address this with my parents before school even begins. Their biggest fear is that we will make
them stay at school while they are crying the entire time. I assure them that we will not. We want this experience to
be a positive one. We want them to feel safe and loved. That is our goal starting the very first day we meet them,
at open house.

HOW WE HANDLE SEPARATION ANXIETY IN PRESCHOOL:

When we open our classroom doors each morning, a teacher greets each child with a warm welcome. We suggest
that parents give hugs and love and say their good byes at the door. However, if they feel more comfortable coming
into the classroom, that is fine. Whatever they decide, they should be consistent each day.

We’ve also found that shorter good byes seem to be easier. We help by gently taking the child, giving him love, and
getting him involved in an activity. This gets easier as the year goes on because we have a good idea what activities
they enjoy.

If a parent says good bye to a tearful child, we will send a text and photo showing their child happily engaged in an
activity. This is probably the biggest comfort to parents. I clearly remember leaving my tearful preschooler and
wondering all morning if he stopped crying. That was back before text messages, so I’d actually call the school. I
needed to be told that my child was no longer crying. I will never forget that feeling, so I know how my toddler and
preschool parents are feeling.

If a child is having a real hard time, we will call the parent. We’d rather have a shorter day, hoping that the next day
we can go a bit longer.

We do allow lovies in the classroom, such as stuffed animals. Usually within an hour the lovie is abandoned so we
will slip it in the child’s cubby. We can always retrieve it if the child needs it again.

The main thing is to let parents know that you are sensitive to the situation.

HOW OTHERS HANDLE SEPARATION ANXIETY IN PRESCHOOL:

I decided to ask my Facebook readers how they’ve handled separation anxiety. Some answers were from parents and
some from teachers. Here’s what they had to say:

Separation anxiety advice from parents:

Practice runs, reassuring they are safe and that you will indeed come back. – Julie C.
We had a little angel pin for him that made tough days better – I’d pin it to his shirt to remind him that mommy
loves him. Then by December he’d made some friends and he was way more excited to go spend time with his
friends. Still didn’t always want to leave me, but wanted to spend time with his friends enough that all was well. –
Heather W.

A “lovie” worked for my son! He got super attached to his cow cow but it was the only thing that worked. – Kelly E.

I gave my son a worry rock. He’d give it a squeeze when I was about to go. I think the main thing for him was also
to keep busy, if he was distracted goodbyes were a lot easier! – Lilly D.

I drew a smiley face on her hand and she drew one on mine, so when we missed each other we could look at the
face! -Candy B.

My son’s teacher was great. She had a routine to distract him, feeding the classroom frog and guinea pig. Those
distractions seemed to work the best. – Erica B.

What worked with my daughter eventually was a good long hug and telling her “I’ll always come back”. I was told
during the day she’d say “Mommy come back” and keep playing knowing Mommy will be back. – Gina M.

We read the book called The Kissing Hand often and we set up a routine at drop off that included a kiss in the palm
and we drew hearts on each other’s arm. He took a photo of us to school with him. Eventually, he started to forget to
bring his photo and stopped picking the book at bedtime for stories, but we continued the kiss in the palm
throughout the whole year. – Bianca B.
I made a key ring with a photo of myself on one side and daddy on the other side and attached it to the button hole
of her cardigan each day. I told her if she felt sad she could look at us and know we were thinking of her and we
would be back soon. – Tas W.

I used to put a spritz of body spray on my daughter’s wrist, and a spritz on my wrist every morning and we’d rub
them together {her wrist on mine} so we smelled good together. This gave my daughter a sense of my being close
by, she’d smell her wrist and knowing I had the same smell it make her feel more content. – Sarah C.

I make sure my son has an activity to go to as I leave and I generally hand him to a teacher for a cuddle and to wave
from the window. For some reason actually seeing me go helps – otherwise its like i just disappear from the room. –
Kimberly S.

Separation anxiety advice from teachers:

I tell parents on the first day that I recommend short goodbyes and long hellos. Make goodbye quick, no more than 5
minutes. There will be tears but we stay with the child comforting him and letting him know they are heard and that
they are safe and loved. When the parents pick up, I tell them to walk with their child around the room and spend
some time in the classroom.” – Diane C.

At pre-school where I now work we suggest a comfort toy or blanket, a photo of family or something that mum will
need later so they know she will come back. We let parents/carers know they can phone us at any point to see how
their child is getting on and sometimes give them a slightly earlier collection time which is gradually extended as the
child settles. – Kelly F.

Consistency with the parent and teacher is crucial. Decide on a routine and stick with it. – Rachelle L.

As a teacher I know that, for most kids, when the parents are confident and comfortable with the idea of leaving
their kids at school, the toddlers adapt faster. – Gabi C.
We have a family wall where kids bring photos of their families and hang them up so they can see them when they
get overwhelmed. – Christina C.

Best solution I’ve had on both parents and teachers side is all about routine. Routines help child have some level of
control of their day and help them to know what’s coming next. I always had the same routine/schedule all day and
my students always knew what was coming next and when their parents were coming back. – Kathryn J.

 Related post: The Secrets to Handling Transitions in the Classroom

Parents should try to have a steady routine in the morning before drop off and a relatively quick drop off process —
don’t linger and let them ask for more time. The longer the drop off the more anxiety about leaving. – Kathryn J.

For me, with my 2s and 3s, it helps to engage the kids in some sort of activity right away while mom/dad are still
there. They usually are distracted enough that they either don’t cry, or cry very little. – Rachel L.

At pre-school where I now work we suggest a comfort toy or blanket, a photo of family or something that mum will
need later so they know she will come back, we let parents/carers know they can phone us at any point to see how
their child is getting on and sometimes give them a slightly earlier collection time which is gradually extended as the
child settles. – Eleanor K.

I make sure to acknowledge the child is sad and let them know I get sad to0 when I need to say good bye to my
mom as well. I also let them know where mom is going and run through what our day will look like. Also encourage
quick goodbyes explaining to parents the reasoning for it and letting parents know it’s important to tell child
mommy has to go to work. Mommy will come and pick you up when I’m done, have a good day love you. – Kelly
G.

Most commonly, kids can feel parent’s anxiety…if it’s too hard for you get someone else to drop them off. – Maria
E.

Put together a teacher made book with a visual schedule so the child has an idea when the parents will come back. –
Misty T.

Understanding the child’s feelings, too, and letting them know it’s ok to be sad when they leave but remember we
will have great fun and they will be back. – Lorna T.

I have a communication friendly space (snuggly area with drapes and soft sparkly lights) that the children use if they
feel upset. – Helen M.

As a preschool teacher we have an area where the kids can look out the window and wave goodbye. It really helps.
Also,
a picture of mom and dad they can keep with them really work to so they can see mom and dad all day. -Krista N.

At open house I talk to parents about the possibility of separation anxiety and tell them to come up with a goodbye
routine but to always say goodbye and you will be back this afternoon. Sneaking out makes their anxiety worse. –
Amanda D.

We also tried a method, that did help a lot, of having the mom leave a “important item” of mom’s that the child had
to take care of and mom would want back. So it gave the child connection to mom and another “reason” so to speak
for mom to need to come back. It worked well, and my other four year old kids in the room would help remind her
to take care of the item! And that mom was coming back for her and the important item. In this case it was an old
cell phone. – Alyssa B.
At curriculum night, I had the parents trace their hands onto card stock, write a message to their children on it,
decorate it and cut it out. I laminated them before meeting the children the next day. When all children had arrived I
read the story “The Kissing Hand” and then presented the kids with their own kissing hands made by their parents. I
hung the hands at the back of their cubbies and allowed them to visit their hands whenever they wanted. Many
children visited their hands less and less over time. One child still asked mom to fill her hands with kisses before she
left on the last day of school. – Tammy P.

When I was a teacher, I would always greet students and tell them I had a special day for them! This worked often…
and time helped. – Mary B.

I encouraged my kids to bring a book or toy to share with their teacher. When a child approached me to show me
something I got on their level and my attention was on them. They could keep said item in hand until group time and
THEY put it in their bag. Worked like a charm. – Christina B.

Sheryl Cooper is the founder of Teaching 2 and 3 Year Olds, a website full of activities for toddlers and
preschoolers. She has been teaching this age group for over 20 years and loves to share her passion with teachers,
parents, grandparents, and anyone with young children in their lives.
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July 21, 2016 at 1:21 am

I am a playschool teacher. Lots of things have worked for me over the years. I encourage quick goodbyes
too, but it doesn’t work with most kids. So I let my assistant take those crying kids outside the classroom
and allow them to chose any center, of their choice. Sometimes, we encourage the care giver from home
to stay a little while with us while we play together and have fun. After a week or so, the child builds
confident in us teachers, then we stop the care giver from staying back. We also allow the kids to bring in
their Lovies or socker. These are the things that have worked for me.

My son is allowed to make a picture for me. That seems to help

August 16, 2016 at 11:44 am

It’s good to know that teachers and students are aware of a child’s possib le separation anxiety. I know my
kids will be pretty scared to go to preschool when they get to that age. I also really like the idea of getting
picture of my kids playing happily in school. You are right, that is comforting.

Do you have suggestions on how to handle separation anxiety for the parent….
or maybe it is quilt.
i have a mom who will not leave her daughter if she cries and i believe the 3 year old has figured this out.
if she screams and kicks up a fuss mom will take her home.
i suggested to mom to stay and sit back – read a book – do not interact with the child.
the child was totally fine – no tears – asked once where mom was and continued to play.
suggested to mom that maybe – she can start sitting there and then leave for a short time – then come
back and sit back down and read….
thoughts…..

Every teacher wants to be good, but what exactly are the qualities that make a good teacher? What are the skills,
talents, and characteristics, and can they be taught or learned?
Teaching can be quite satisfying for people who do it well. I know this because I am a teacher, too. Although I do
not think I'm always the best teacher, do I know that the majority of my students love me, and I guess this is partly
why good things happen in my classroom.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about—and done a lot of research into—the question of what characteristics make
a teacher effective and how I can succeed in the classroom. Although every great teacher has their own special,
unique style, I have found that there are nine specific universal qualities that are necessary for anyone who wants to
teach effectively, whether they want to teach in an elementary school or a university. If any teacher possesses the
following characteristics and qualities, he/she can become a very good teacher with large fan base.

What Makes a Great Teacher

 expert communication skills

 superior listening skills

 deep knowledge and passion for their subject matter

 the ability to build caring relationships with students

 friendliness and approachability

 excellent preparation and organization skills

 strong work ethic

 community-building skills

 high expectations for all

Each of these characteristics is described fully below. Although great teachers may also possess a number of other
wonderful qualities (like a sense of humor, personality, flexibility, kindness, leadership, classroom management, a
calm demeanor, experience, and the ability to multitask), these are the qualities the best teachers universally possess.

Education is not the filling of a pail but the lighting of a fire.

— William Butler Yeats

1. Excellent Communication Skills

You'd think that the most important quality for a teacher to possess would be knowledge, since that's what the job is
all about, after all: sharing knowledge. But no matter how knowledgable a person is, if they can't convey what they
know to others in a way that is not only understandable but engaging, the knowledge itself is useless.

 If a teacher's communication skills (verbal, nonverbal, and visual, which involve speaking, writing, imagery,
body language, and the organization of ideas into understandable structures) are good, they can convey
knowledge with better skill and results.

 Since a large part of good communication is knowing when the audience has understood, these teachers notice
when they have communicated effectively and when they have not. They will often paraphrase, illustrate, or
take another tact entirely when it becomes apparent that their communication has fallen flat or has not reached
or connected to the entire class.
  A good teacher notices when even one student among many does not understand, and makes an effort to
communicate individually when necessary.

 Communication also involves explaining exactly what the assignments and expectations are. When students
fully understand what is expected of them, it's much easier for them to deliver.

 Interestingly, not only are communication skills incredibly important in the classroom, but they are among the
most important skills in any setting. According to a recent survey by the Pew Research Center, most
Americans view communication as the most important skill for long term success “to get ahead in the world
today.” So by being good communicators, teachers are modeling important lifetime skills by example.

2. Superior Listening Skills

In addition to being good communicators, good teachers also happen to be excellent listeners. As the Turkish
proverb says,"If speaking is silver, then listening is gold." Of course, effective communication only happens when at
least two parties are actively involved in the process together, and the only way to know if communication is heard
is by asking (and listening to the answer).

So in an ideal learning environment, teachers ask important questions and then actively, carefully, empathetically
listen to what learners have to say. When good teachers develop this patient quality in themselves, they start to
become great. Great teachers listen hard and then use what they hear to improve the communication.

Those who know, do. Those who understand, teach.

— Aristotle

3. Deep Knowledge of and Passion for the Subject Matter

There is a saying that a teacher is only as good as what they know. If a teacher lacks knowledge in a subject, that
dearth of understanding is passed along to the students. And keep in mind that although formal education is one way
a teacher might gain the knowledge they need in order to teach well, there are other ways.

Passion is infectious. Love of a subject matter inspires a person to learn more, dig deeper, and think harder about it,
so passion inspires deeper knowledge. The best teachers are those that clearly love their subjects and pass that
passion and desire to learn more on to their students. When the teacher not only has the right answer to a student's
question but can expand the discussion with vivid examples, amusing illustrative anecdotes, and relevant facts, and
when the teacher has a deep well of understanding and expertise to draw on, then every lesson is enriched, and every
student might be inspired.

4. The Ability to Develop Strong Relationships With Students

It's not enough just to know what you're talking about, though, and a great teacher doesn't only teach from the head.
In the best classrooms, hearts are involved, as well. In order to create successful learning environments, great
teachers need to be able to build caring relationships with their students. It is the caring student-teacher relationship
that facilitates the exchange of information.

The best teachers are often the ones that care the most deeply, not only about their jobs, but about every student they
serve. It's not enough just to love the subject matter: Great teachers also share a love of students. Caring about the
students is what inspires teachers to reach out, do better, communicate more, ask, learn, refine, and improve. This is
something that can't be taught, not even in the best school.

5. Friendliness and Approachability

Because it's the teacher's job to help students learn, they must be easy to approach. Students will have questions that
can't be answered if the teacher isn't friendly and easy to talk to. The crabby, unapproachable, terse, mean, arrogant,
rude, all-business teacher can't last long. If the students think of their teacher as their enemy, they certainly won't
learn much. The best teachers are the most open, welcoming, and easy to approach.

6. Preparation and Organization Skills

No matter how charming you are, if you show up for a class without an excellent plan for how to teach your
material, you won't succeed. Great teachers spend endless hours outside of the classroom preparing, designing
lessons, learning more (both about their subject matter specifically and how to teach, in general), participating in
professional development, and thinking of fresh and interesting ways to reach the students.

The best teachers have excellent lesson plans, lectures, and assignments that they continually improve. They have
studied extensively and read widely about how to teach and methods to facilitate learning. They structure their days,
lessons, and units in a way that fosters maximal understanding and interest. They collaborate with other teachers and
attend classes to learn more about their subject matter and how to best convey it. They are available outside of class,
and they grade papers quickly, writing personal notes to help their students understand.

A good teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.

— Henry Adams

7. A Strong Work Ethic

Anyone who's done it knows that teaching is one of the hardest jobs there is. The secret that keeps them going is that
great teachers really, really want to be great teachers, and they'll stop at nothing do succeed. A great teacher will do
almost anything to help their students. They always make time and they're always willing to help. If something
doesn't work, they'll work tirelessly until they find a solution. A teacher's work is never done but the best ones never
stop trying, they never quit.

8. The Ability to Build Community

The best teachers understand the importance of building supportive and collaborative environments. In addition to
forming caring relationships with each student, the best teachers foster healthy and mutually respectful relationships
between the students. They know how to establish guidelines and assign roles to enlist every student's help and
participation. Every student feels like they are not only accepted by the larger group, but that their presence is a
necessary ingredient in the classroom's magic. Their classrooms are like little communities where each individual
plays a part and feels at home.

9. High Expectations for All

Studies show that a teacher's expectations have a huge impact on student achievement. The best teachers have high
expectations for all of their students. They expect a lot from each student, but those expectations are both
challenging and realistic. This doesn't mean they hold all students to the same high standard, but instead that they
know what each student is capable of individually and strive to help each one attain their personal best.

What if you strongly possess 7 of the 9?

I know that I am solid in #s 1-5 and #7.

I am 49 years old and am in just my second year as a teacher. I teach 6th and 7th graders primarily. My preparation
and organization skills are "developing". I work my tail off. I am finding it hard to set any expectations, let alone
high ones, as my class is chaotic and every lesson, no matter how detailed the plan, is thwarted by constantly
redirecting off-task students. Classroom management (Which I suppose can be under #8 Building Community) is
not coming quickly.

And so I am really befuddled by this:

"[Good teachers]...foster healthy and mutually respectful relationships between the students. They know how to
establish guidelines and assign roles to enlist every student's help and participation."

How does one do this, or at least begin the process?

In my classroom, there are cliques. Those who are part of the cliques and those who are not already come to the
class with unhealthy, (mostly, though sometimes one-directional) mutually disrespectful relationships.

I am struggling to maintain a minimal level of engagement. I have sought help from my mentor and my principal
(who likely won't be renewing my contract). I am giving it my best shot, but I am pretty darn stressed out.

How to talk about your health if you have a problem:

-So how have you been feeling?

-How is everything with your health?

-Are you feeling any better?

-I’m not feeling so hot these days

-I’ve been better or (“been better”)

-I haven’t been feeling so great lately

-I’m still battling these migraines, stomach aches, etc

“Why should we hire you?” is one of the toughest interview questions to answer, but it is useful to know that this
question allows employers to gauge how committed you are to the job (and to the profession as well).
Below you will find some tried-and-tested answers to this question – feel free to adapt them to your personal
circumstances and you'll be on your way to getting the teaching assistant job you've always wanted.

Sample answer 1
Why should we hire you? – As a qualified teaching assistant I believe I have an extraordinary opportunity to assist
and support children through their individual learning paths. I take this opportunity seriously because I understand
that it can have a great impact on children's lives and on the type of society we are helping create.
I’m committed to not only using my knowledge and skills in the classroom, but also and more importantly, to be an
integral part of my student's development. This sincere interest in the pupils' personal growth has been my primary
motivation when applying for this job.

Sample answer 2
Why should we hire you? – Because I'm equipped to help the school achieve its educational goals. I would define
myself as a problem solver and a team worker who thrives on rising up to challenges and on achieving objectives.

I have a thorough understanding of the school's mission and I believe that my personality and skills put me in the
right position to help create a stimulating learning environment. Since I identify with your values and mission, I am
committed to inspiring students to adopt them too.

Sample answer 3
Why should we hire you? – As someone who values and practices discipline, empathy and respect, I believe I can
be a positive role model to your pupils. The way I see it, being a teaching assistant is all about providing young
people with good behavioural examples they can implement when learning and interacting with others.
During my career, I have made a conscious effort to evaluate my actions, choices and attitudes so that I can
eventually be seen as an inspirational role model beyond the classroom, helping students take away values that will
prepare them to be responsible and caring adults.

Sample answer 4
Why should we hire you? – In many ways, the school environment mimics what adult life is like. I have a clear
vision of the role that education plays in society and I have worked hard to come up with teaching strategies that
foster collaboration, curiosity for knowledge, respect, resilience, and drive for success.
For several years I have prepared myself to carry out a role that is essential in our society and I'm proud to say it's
one which gives me enormous satisfaction. As you can see from my references and previous experience, I have
proven that I can deliver what the board expects while making the learning process appealing to students.

Sample answer 5
Why should we hire you? – Because I am not committed to just a job, but to the teaching profession as a whole. I
place high value on constant learning and I always take the initiative when it comes to attending conferences,
workshops and talks that can prepare me to be a better TA.
Ever since I was a teenager I've had a keen interest in learning and bettering myself, and I believe that if I use the
right tools and strategies, this hunger for learning and self-improvement can be picked up by students who can then
incorporate these values into their own lives now and in the future.

Sample answer 6
Why should we hire you? – I was inspired by your institution's mission to (add the school's mission and vision
statement here). I would feel honoured to collaborate with such an admirable task and to put my skills to good use
by working for an institution that believes in the power of education.
As I was reading through your mission statement, I realised that my personal and professional values were fully
aligned with yours and I decided to apply to this role because I feel I could easily fit into your team and become a
valued member of your teaching staff.

Conclusion
As you can see, the sample answers above focus on demonstrating a few key things: enthusiasm, dedication and a
genuine interest in both the teaching profession and in the pupils themselves.

These are some of the key qualities that employers in this field are looking for, so by rewording the sample answers
above you should be able to feel confident when you sit in front of the interview panel and make it clear that you can
make a difference because your motives, skills, and experiences are the right ones.