A Christ-like Response to Friends and

Family Struggling with Homosexuality

February 18, 2009

I. Introduction

A. The deafening silence

B. Many Christians are afraid to talk about homosexuality for fear

of the repercussions

C. The difference between addressing individuals and addressing

issues in the broader culture

Question #1: How does God feel toward people struggling with
homosexuality?

John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave his one and
only Son, that whoever believes in Him, might not perish but
have everlasting life.”

Romans 5:8, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this, that
while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Matthew 9:35-37, “Jesus went through all the towns and villages,
teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the
kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36When he saw
the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were
harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37Then he
said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are
few.”

Rob Rienow, Family Pastor

rrienow@wheatonbible.org
Question 2: How should Christians feel about people who are
struggling with homosexuality?

A. Christians should view those struggling with homosexuality

with compassion.

B. There is a difference between having compassion for someone

and accepting their behavior, or celebrating it as morally right.

C. We hold to the Christian distinction of loving the sinner and

hating the sin. (Romans 12:9)

Question 3: What does the Bible teach about homosexuality?

A. A prerequisite question – what do you believe about the Bible?

B. Begin with what the Bible teaches about sexuality

Genesis 1:26-27

C. God created sex for one environment with three purposes

1. The one environment: (Genesis 2:24)

Monogamous (not polygamous, Deuteronomy 17:17)

Heterosexual

Marriage

2. The three purposes:

Uniting the spirits of husband and wife

Procreation

Pleasure

Rob Rienow, Family Pastor

rrienow@wheatonbible.org
D. Satan always takes the truth of God – and offers a counterfeit

1. Only one purpose – pleasure

2. Tempting us to use our sexuality in ANY way other than

the way God created it to be used (monogamous,
heterosexual marriage)

Promiscuity
Adultery
Pornography
Masturbation
Bestiality
Homosexuality
Sex with children

3. Satan wants to get people to do anything and everything

outside God’s plan – he doesn’t care what it is!

4. All sexual fantasy or activity outside of monogamous,

heterosexual marriage is considered “sexual immorality” in
the Scriptures. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)

E. The Bible teaches that homosexual lust and behavior is

destructive and morally wrong.

Romans 1:20 For although they knew God, they neither

glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their
thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were
darkened. 22Although they claimed to be wise, they
became fools 23and exchanged the glory of the immortal
God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and
animals and reptiles.
24
Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of
their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their
bodies with one another. 25They exchanged the truth of
God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things
rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
26
Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts.
Even their women exchanged natural relations for
unnatural ones. 27In the same way the men also abandoned

Rob Rienow, Family Pastor

rrienow@wheatonbible.org
 natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust
for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other
men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their
perversion.

Leviticus 18:22, “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a
woman; that is detestable.”

1 Corinthians 6:9, “Do you not know that the wicked will
not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived:
Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers
nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor
thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor
swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

E. Did Jesus address the issue?

F. The Bible teaches that God desires to heal and has the power
to transform a person struggling with homosexual feelings,
attraction, and behavior.

1 Corinthians 6:9
9
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the
kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually
immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes
nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor
drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the
kingdom of God. 11And that is what some of you were. But
you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in
the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our
God.

G. The Bible does not teach a hierarchy of sexual sins.

Question #4: Where does homosexuality come from?

A. Three common journeys into homosexuality

1. Experimentation, sex addiction, and the next thrill

2. Abuse and other experiences can lead to sexual identity

being damaged and confused

3. Same sex attraction from early on

Rob Rienow, Family Pastor

rrienow@wheatonbible.org
 B. We must understand the issue of “wiring”

1. The secularists are eager for a gay “gene”

2. The Christian answer – we are all “wired” for sexual sin

Question #5: How do we respond in a Christ-like way to friends

and family who are struggling?

A. Pray and ask God for all His grace and all His truth

B. Grace without truth is not Christ-like

“I am concerned about you, and I want to help.”

“Because I care about you, I need to tell you that the
choices you are making are going to lead you to misery.
“God loves you, and He can transform you. He can set you
free from this.”

C. Truth without grace is not Christ-like

“I want you to know that regardless of your choices, I will

continue to care about you.”
“I am going to stick with you through this.”
“I am not going to reject you because of this, or abandon
you because of the choices you are making.”
“I love you, and God loves you too.”

D. Consider the individual situation

1. The non-Christian friend or family member

2. Christian friend or family member who is repentant and

wants help to get free.

3. Christian friend or family member who is unrepentant

and wants to embrace the gay lifestyle. (1 Corinthians 5)

E. Do not be afraid to establish appropriate boundaries in the

relationship

1. What behavior will you allow in your home?

Rob Rienow, Family Pastor

rrienow@wheatonbible.org
 2. What behavior, conversations, and modeling will you
allow children to be exposed to?

3. What are appropriate expectations at family gatherings?

Q and A

Recommended Resources:

Books
The Gay Gospel: How Pro-Gay Advocates Misread the Bible by Joe
Dallas
The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction by Janelle Hallman
When Homosexuality Hits Home by Joe Dallas

Christian Counseling services:

Mark Macdonald and Associates – 630-462-8810

Support Group
COMPASS – a group for men pursuing sexual purity
Thursday evenings at Wheaton Bible Church
Tuesday evenings at College Church
Info at www.wbcmen.com

Online help
www.exodusinternational.com
www.bethesdaworkshops.org

Rob Rienow, Family Pastor

rrienow@wheatonbible.org