Ethics and The Tongue

Revival Fires Baptist College
Christian Ethics
Professor: Dr. Dennis Corle
Ethics and the Tongue
I. James 3 gives us insight into the dangers of the tongue and it gives us some instruction.
II. James 3:1-18, “My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater
condemnation. For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a
perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths,
that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. Behold also the ships, which though
they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small
helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth
great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world
of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth
on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds,
and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the
tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God,
even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out
of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to
be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? Can the fig tree, my
brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and
fresh. Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good
conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. But if ye have bitter envying and strife in
your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above,
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but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every
evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to
be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the
fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.”
A. I need to be a mature man, think before I speak.
1.If I am a complete man, I will have control over my tongue.
2.It is not that easy to bridle your tongue.
B. If you can get your tongue under control, you can get everything else under control.
C. What you do with your mouth will determine the direction you go.
D. I am supposed to govern what my tongue does.
E. What I say determines where I go.
1.What you say, you must be able to back up.
2.What you say, you must be able to stand by it.
3.Be careful what you say.
4.Pride makes us feel like we must do what we say.
F. Religion is the practice of my faith.
1.Religion is me practicing what I believe, my faith.
2.If their tongue is in conflict with their faith, they are deceiving themselves.
G. I must govern my tongue
III. Charles Spurgeon, “If all of man’s sins were bound two bundles, one entire bundle would be
sins of the tongue.”
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A. God wants me to understand the meanest member in the body is the tongue.
IV. It sets fire
A. Some of us set on fire everything that comes near.
V. When you tame an animal, you break his bad tendencies and you retrain him to have good
tendencies.
A. You are never going to be able to completely tame the tongue.
B. I am supposed to bridle it.
VI. Can you get bitter water and sweet water out of the same fountain?
A. It is absurd.
VII. If you go to the fig tree looking for olives, you are crazy.
A. It is not supposed to grow there.
B. It is unnatural.
VIII. Meekness of wisdom.
A. Wisdom is the ability to see things through the eyes of God.
B. Having a view of things as God views it.
C. Me seeing it like God sees it causes me to have wisdom.
IX. I am capable of using strong words, but I must control my tongue.
A. I am supposed to bridle it.
X. Proverbs 8:12-13, “I wisdom dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge of witty inventions.
The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward
mouth, do I hate.”
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A. Evil is to do what is damaging.
B. Sin is any missing of the mark.
C. I could be shooting at the right bull’s eye and still miss.
D. More damage is done with the tongue than any other part of the body.
E. Things that are said are damaging.
F. Wisdom does not have any respect for the forward mouth that does damage to people.
XI. The opposite of wisdom is seeing it your way
A. You have your own plan.
B. You do it your way.
C. That will cause you to exert your force because you can.
XII. The tongue can no man tame.
A. If you cannot tame it completely, it is better to restrain it and put reigns on it.
B. If I don’t control my tongue, my religion is vain.
C. I am speaking evil and damaging people.
D. God did not call us to damage anything except sin.
XIII. If I am bridling my tongue, I must bridle my tongue.
A. Something may be true, but will I help or damage people by saying it?
XIV. When should I bridle or restrain my tongue?
A. When my tongue is bent on sowing discord among the brethren, I am supposed to bridle
it.
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1.Proverbs 6:16-19, “These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an
abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed
innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift
in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth
discord among brethren.”
a. One of them are sowing discord among brethren
b. Some people seem to think that their job is to sow discord.
c. There are things that we must separate from.
d. We don’t need people trying to separate people.
2.Proverbs 15:18, “A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger
appeaseth strife.”
a. If I am a wrathful man I will be always stirring up strife.
b. If keep myself under control and don’t say everything I want to say, I
may just help the situation instead of contributing to the decline.
c. Instead of making it worse, I may make it better.
d. A forward man stirreth up strife.
e. A forward man is always sowing strife.
f. He runs around getting in between people whispering.
g. A lot of things shouldn’t have been said to start with and certainly
should not be repeated.
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h. When you repeat something that should not have been said, you are
creating an unnecessary problem.
i. This is not an ethical use of my tongue
j. To use it to stir division among people that basically believe the same
thing.
B. When my tongue is set to play the role of a talebearer.
1.I am supposed to bridle my tongue and be ethical with my tongue when I
could be a talebearer.
2.Proverbs 11:13, “A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful
spirit concealeth the matter.”
a. I don’t tell everybody everything I know.
b. Don’t go around spouting off things that don’t need to be told.
3.Proverbs 17:9, “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that
repeateth a matter separateth very friends.”
a. Every time something is repeated, there are additions.
b. Each time it is retold it has small variations until it is not the same story.
c. People say things when they are upset that shouldn’t be repeated.
d. They say things when they are upset that they would not say if they were
thinking clearly.
4.Proverbs 20:19, “He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets:
therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.”
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a. When you tell people things that you probably shouldn’t tell them, then
once you tell them, they will tell everyone they know.
b. Someone will try to flatter it out of you.
c. Don’t cover wicked sins, but you don’t need to share things that don’t
need to be repeated.
d. I may say something and think, “Why did I say that?”
e. Someone will grab it and run through the town publishing it.
f. You can tell a lot of lies if you are not careful.
5.Proverbs 12:17, “He that speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a
false witness deceit.”
a. Falsehood comes in many forms.
i. Sometimes comes as a direct lie.
ii. Half-truth
a) I tell you half of it because if I would tell you the
other half it would put the balance to it.
b) I am telling you the truth, but not the whole truth.
c) The perception is difference than reality.
iii. Exaggeration
a) Exaggerate your statistics because you are worried
about what others think.
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b) Not worried about what others think, worried about
God’s blessings.
c) If I am going to impress you with my tongue at
expense of the truth, I am going to rob myself of the
blessing of God.
C. When my tongue wants to be harsh and use piercing words on people.
1.Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up
anger.”
2.Proverbs 12:18, “There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the
tongue of the wise is health.”
a. My tongue should have a medicinal effect on people, I should not wound
them.
b. The Word of God is a two edged sword, it will cut both ways.
c. It is going to pierce.
i. It shouldn’t just be harsh words that pierce.
ii. It is a different kind of wound.
iii. When God wounds you, He’ll sew you back up.
iv. God does surgery.
v. He cuts you to get the evil and sews you back up so you don’t
bleed and die.
d. There is a use of the tongue that is wounding to people.
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i. It is like the piercing of the sword.
ii. It is not health, it is disease.
iii. It is not healing, it is destructive.
iv. It is unethical for me to not speak the things that are helpful to
them.
3.Proverbs 21:23-24, “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his
soul from troubles. Proud and haughty scorner is his name, who dealeth in
proud wrath.”
a. His pride is going to hurt him.
b. He will speak out of pride and wrath.
c. Wrath is punishment.
d. Pride is the motive behind what I say.
D. When I want to be contentious.
1.When the object of what I am going to say is contentious.
2.Not speaking of contending for the faith.
3.Being contentious of spirit
4.Proverbs 18:6, “A fool's lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for
strokes.”
5.Proverbs 18:7, “A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of
his soul.”
a. It is the thing that traps him.
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b. He snares himself with his tongue, his speech, what he says.
6.Proverbs 13:10, “Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised
is wisdom.”
a. When there is contention, there is pride involved.
b. It may be one person’s pride or both people’s pride.
c. It is caused by pride.
d. When the Bible talks about contending for the faith, it is not talking
about this kind of contention because this kind of contending is the
outcome of pride.
i. The other word is a totally different word and a totally different
concept.
ii. We can contend and take a stand for righteousness, truth and the
faith, without being guilty of the sin of being contentious.
7.Daniel 1:8, “But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself
with the portion of the king's meat, nor with the wine which he drank:
therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile
himself.”
a. He didn’t declare himself, he requested.
b. He requested that he give them pulse and water for a few days.
c. Rather than smarting off, he requested.
d. He didn’t budge either.
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e. What he said wasn’t smart aleck.
f. I could show those I disagree some respect by what I say and how I say
it.
g. You don’t change anything with a contentious spirit, all you do is stir
up more strife.
8.Everything unethical is a sin.
a. When it is an ethical violation, it is sin by nature.
b. What is ethical is what is right in the eyes of God.
c. If I am a Christian, I should be operating in Christian Ethics.
d. The whole basics of ethics is the Bible
E. When the message is not wholesome.
1.Not something that is good for you, nourishing, clean.
2.Proverbs 15:4, “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein
is a breach in the spirit.”
a. Gospel is:
i. Wholesome.
ii. Nourishing.
iii. Life-changing
iv. Clean
v. Pure
vi. Undefiled
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b. Truth is good.
c. Righteousness is good.
d. The reason my tongue is not right is because my heart is not right.
e. Perverseness is a result of a breach in my spirit.
f. A breach is an unnatural opening.
g. God told us to put on the breastplate of righteousness.
i. I put on a breastplate because I am trying to protect my vital
organs.
ii. If I get wounded in my heart, it is over.
iii. When the Bible talks about the heart it is talking about the spirit.
iv. Proverbs 17:22 and Proverbs 18:14 are proof of this.
a) Proverbs 17:22, “A merry heart doeth good like a
medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”
1) Heart and the spirit are synonymous.
2) If my heart is right, my mouth is going to be in
good shape.
b) Proverbs 18:14, “The spirit of a man will sustain his
infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?”
v. If there is a breach in my spirit, there is an unnatural opening
that will allow the devil to have opportunity to shoot at my heart.
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a) Something is wrong in my heart when I say wrong
things.
b) The problem does not start in my mouth, it starts in
my heart.
c) It shows up in my mouth.
d) When I say something that is not right, I need to fix
my spirit.
vi. If you upset a jug, what is in there is going to come out.
a) When someone upsets you, whatever you have been
putting in there is what is coming out.
b) Wrong stuff comes out because wrong stuff is in
there.
c) I need to be careful about my tongue.
vii. I will be working on my tongue to the day I die.
a) Until then, we must bridle it.
b) What Dr. Corle is against, he would like to do.
3.Proverbs 17:4, “A wicked doer giveth heed to false lips; and a liar giveth ear
to a naughty tongue.”
a. If I have a crooked heart, I will want to hear everything that I can hear
so that I can repeat it.
b. I will let someone use my ear for a garbage can.
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c. If I am not going to be a backbiter, I shouldn’t be a backbiter.
d. If I am going to give myself to what is wholesome, I must give my ear
to what is wholesome.
e. Ear is where I get it in and the tongue is where I put it out.
f. Foolish jesting, off-color remarks, don’t lend your ear to those things.
g. Don’t lend your ear to those who are speaking it.
h. When my tongue is tempted and desires to be unwholesome, I need to
refrain and put reins on it.
F. When it is tempted to misuse knowledge.
1.You can use your knowledge, education, and training to manipulate people
into your benefit.
2.You can misuse knowledge and use it for your own benefit than to help the
hearer.
3.Use it to manipulate them into a situation that will give you what you want.
4.Proverbs 15:2, “The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth
of fools poureth out foolishness.”
a. There are some people who do not use knowledge right.
b. They know things, but don’t use it for its intended purpose.
c. They know truth, but they don’t use it for righteousness.
d. They don’t use it the way it should be used.
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e. There is always the temptation and danger of using knowledge in an
way it should not be used.
f. Wrangling the Scriptures to your benefit.
g. The devil does this, wrangle things to his benefit.
i. If you are wrangling the scriptures, you are acting like the devil.
ii. He used the Scriptures as a tool of manipulation.
iii. He used the scriptures for his own purposes.
h. The Scriptures are to be used for His purposes, His glory.
G. When the words are evil.
1.When I am aware that what I am going to say is going to hurt someone.
2.There is times when you want to hurt someone and say something that will
sting.
3.If it is not the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and if it is not the Bible that is
bringing conviction to get them right, the words you choose will be harsh and
sting and hurt them.
4.Proverbs 15:28, “The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth
of the wicked poureth out evil things.”
a. Take heed to that verse.
b. If you have a Bible answer, you don’t have to answer with harsh words.
c. You can give them an answer, not an insult.
d. You can give them truth.
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e. You don’t have to be unkind.
f. Give them a solid answer based on the Word of God, instead of just
having to brush off by being harsh.
5.Proverbs 16:27, “An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips there is as
a burning fire.”
a. Evil indicates something that is damaging.
6.Proverbs 11:9, “An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but
through knowledge shall the just be delivered.”
a. A person pretending to be something they are not will destroy their
neighbor.
b. You are using your mouth as an instrument of destruction.
c. My tongue is to be an instrument of edification, not an instrument of
destruction.
d. It should be used to build, not destroy.
e. It should be used to help, not to hurt.
f. Use it to instruct someone into perfectness, rather than chastise them for
asking a question.
g. One of the reasons that people chastise people with their response is
because they think that the person has an impure motive.
i. May be true.
ii. Sometimes they legitimately want to know.
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h. You may get out of line because your heart is out of line and you think
that the other people are having a wrong motive.
i. It makes you mad.
H. When your tongue wants to engage in backbiting, you need to bridle it.
1.Proverbs 25:23, “The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry
countenance a backbiting tongue.”
a. God does not want me to engage, nor does he want me to listen to it.
b. When someone tries to divide me and someone else, they need to get an
angry countenance.
c. My anger should not take control of me so that I may have a sinful
response.
d. I cannot allow anger to lead me down a sinful path.
e. Backbiting means:
i. Biting back when you have been bitten.
a) When they have done me wrong, I am not to bite and
devour one another.
ii. Biting behind someone’s back.
a) Instead of looking them in the eye, you nip them
behind you.
XV. Shouldn’t have any problem coming up with 10-pages of material.
A. You apply the ethical principles to the relationship.
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B. Will be covering all kinds of things throughout the course and you can pick up on some
things and expound on them.
1.Parent and child – Ephesians 6
2.Marriage relationship – Ephesians 5
a. Also 1 Corinthians
C. Most people who can talk and express themselves can’t write and express themselves.
1.They can’t make the same sense in print as they can verbal.
2.Important that we learn to do that.
3.Think the material to its logical end.
D. Two things that people can’t do in this age, largely based on television.
1.Can’t imagine anything.
a. They can’t see in their mind.
b. A person who meditates on the word of God can picture the events
taking place in his mind.
c. We don’t have that today because we have not majored on meditation,
ruminating, and thinking things through.
2.Taking what they think and expressing it so that it is understandable.
a. They can’t get anyone else to receive what they think
b. When I put something in print, I am helping you to see as I think.
c. Help someone else to think from your viewpoint in what you write.
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d. It will help others see things that they wouldn’t see thinking from their
thinking point.
e. Need someone to be a thinker.
f. People who are a thinker and express themselves well expand my ability
to think.
g. Take a subject, come to some conclusions and express your conclusions
in print.
h. Learn to express yourself in print.
i. Our future depends on someone that knows how to think and
knows how to put what they think in print to influence someone
else.
ii. Some people don’t know how to think right, but they don’t know
how to think right.
E. Teaching ought to push you to your limit.
1.You ought to reach your potential.
2.Don’t coast through a class, you ought to be at your limit.
3.If everybody operates at your limit and does everything they are supposed to
do, you will pass.
4.You will be better for it.
5.You will thank God for the class 20 years from now.
6.It will help you 20 years from now.
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7.You want to get an education, not just a degree.
8.It would be a shame if you got a diploma and didn’t get a education.
9.If you are smart, you will never slack up because there is always something
you don’t know that you desperately need to know.
XVI. Speaking about times to bridle our tongue.
A. Backbiting
1.Backbiting is being two-faced.
2.Dr. Corle is a confrontational personality.
a. If there is a problem, he will look you in the eye about it.
b. If you backbite, when I look you in the eye and ask you about it, don’t
be a coward.
c. He can put up with someone chewing on him a little bit if they are
willing to look them in the eye and confront them.
d. Most backbiters are cowards.
3.A person who is willing to look you in the eye and disagree with you is a lot
less likely to backbite you behind your back.
4.A backbiter will usually not own up to it.
5.More disappointed in people not owning up to saying something than to say
something.
a. All of us say things we shouldn’t say, but we must own up to it and
admit it.
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b. Don’t say something behind someone’s back you wouldn’t say to them
in their face.
6.Everyone is a backbiter by nature.
a. They will want to discuss their problem with someone else other than
the person they are having a problem with.
b. Everybody likes to criticize someone they are at odds with rather than
resolve the problem by looking them in the eye.
c. We would like to put someone else against them so that we have the
advantage.
B. When it desires to answer before it hears the facts.
1.Proverbs 18:13, “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly
and shame unto him.”
a. Because of our bias and prejudice, we want to answer before we hear all
the facts.
b. We will execute judgment before we hear the story.
c. Some people will be our friends and some people will be my enemies.
d. If I am not careful, I will let my friends criticize my enemies and I will
not judge all of the facts.
e. I will not examine the rest of it and I will just take their side of it.
i. I don’t like this person anyway; I want it to be true.
f. I am not supposed to answer before I hear all the facts.
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i. Before I come to a conclusion or say anything about it, I am
supposed to hear it through.
g. Many times because someone has been guilty of something in the past,
if they are accused of something, we will automatically write them off.
i. I don’t give them a chance to say what they want to say.
ii. I must hear them out.
h. It is going to get me in trouble and be a folly and a shame.
i. So much trouble is caused by false perception.
i. So many times we will respond with what we thought it was and
what we thought was incorrect.
ii. We don’t hear them out.
j. Have prejudice on people by what you have seen them do in the past.
i. Put them in the same mold.
ii. Make a generalized comment instead of allowing people to stand
or fall based on their own conduct.
iii. Don’t presuppose all people are like the experience that you had
with one person.
iv. Don’t make a statement based on previous experiences instead
of weighing the present facts.
C. When your opinion is unanswerable, don’t give it.
1. Advice is seldom taken when it is asked for and never when it is volunteered.
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2.If someone wants your opinion, they will probably ask for it.
D. When your tongue gets ready to brag on itself.
1.Proverbs 20:6, “Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a
faithful man who can find?”
a. If I proclaim my own goodness, I am not a faithful man.
b. Nothing is more sickening than someone trying to impress themselves.
c. Beware of someone who is the hero of all of his stories.
d. Don’t just tell people about your virtues, tell them about some of your
flaws.
i. Show them your humanity so that they know you are human.
ii. We try to have people believe that we are what we aren’t, then
when they find out that we aren’t they kill us.
e. Don’t just use illustrations of your own victories, include stories of your
failures and always make sure it is teaching a Biblical principle.
f. They ought to see both sides of the coin.
2.It is wrong when it is in an effort to promote one’s self.
a. Let them not only hear the good things about when God is working in
your life, let them hear about some of the times when you messed up.
b. When you did something you know you shouldn’t have done and you
confessed it.
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c. Tell the stories about people you witnessed to who got saved, and also
the ones who you should have and didn’t.
XVII. To bridle my tongue is to use my tongue ethically.
A. To control it and use it in a way that is ethical.
B. To do what is right.
C. To do what builds.
D. To do what is health to the person.
XVIII. My problem is what I was thinking and what I said have too much in common.
A. Often what we say and what we think has too much in common.
B. If I am thinking what I shouldn’t think, I’d better go ahead and bridle my tongue.
C. When I know I am thinking the wrong thing, the wise thing is to bridle my tongue.
D. I would have been better off to just say nothing.
E. When Jesus stood before Pilate, he answered him not a word.
1.No attack and no defense.
2.Reasons:
a. It would make no difference in what they thought and therefore the
outcome.
b. He didn’t want to give them something that would hurt.
c. He was supposed to go to Calvary.
3.Pilate marveled.
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4.People are shocked when you don’t speak a word in your own defense and
just let it pass and go on.
a. When you don’t try to counteract what someone else said.
b. When you don’t try to retaliate.
c. It is very uncommon for someone to have that kind of control with their
tongue.
F. Proverbs 13:3, “He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide
his lips shall have destruction.”
1.Life is not just existence.
2.Abundant life in the Bible is not indicating how long that life would last.
3.It is talking about quality.
4.Lost people still exist, but they do not have the quality of life.
5.If you have an eternal existence, you also have a quality of existence here.
6.If I keep my tongue under control, I preserve the quality of their existence.
7.You can be destroyed by your own tongue.
G. Proverbs 17:28, “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that
shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.”
1.Even though he doesn’t have understanding, people think he is pretty smart
because he didn’t say anything.
2.It is better to be quiet and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and
remove all doubt.
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3.There is a time to be quiet.
XIX. When I do speak, it should be for good, not evil.
A. Sometimes I must say hard things to help people, but I don’t need to say them hard.
B. Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may
know how ye ought to answer every man.”
1.Grace is unmerited favor.
a. I ought to give people some unmerited favor
b. Something they didn’t earn or deserve.
2.When you are right and they are wrong, your speech is still supposed to be
with grace.
a. Live always with unmerited favor.
b. Treat them with some unmerited favor.
3.Seasoned with salt.
a. Has several uses:
i. Preserver
ii. Healing agent
iii. Flavor
b. It is ethical to have my speech be seasoned with salt, being a preserver
and a healing agent.
i. If I cannot speak like that, I must bridle my tongue.
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Christian Ethics
ii. If you are not going to have your speech seasoned with salt, it
would be better for you to say nothing.
XX. God will forgive us.
A. There is no way for us to retract the damage.
B. We do a lot more damage with our tongue than we do with knives or guns.
C. We need to bridle our tongue.
D. It can’t be tamed, you cannot change the nature of it.
E. If you cannot make it inherently good where you no longer have the desire to do wrong.
F. If you cannot change it now, you must bridle your tongue.
G. If you are thinking or feeling wrong, you don’t double your sin by saying something
wrong.
XXI. Instead of saying everything about those who fall, realize you can do the same thing yourself.
A. Have compassion on them.
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Ethics and The Tongue

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Revival Fires Baptist College

Professor: Dr. Dennis Corle